Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Burn ❯ Chapter 12 Axel ( Chapter 12 )

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II. I'm merely borrowing them. All unrecognizable characters are mine, however, and I would really appreciate it if you ask me before using them.
A/N: I was going to write this chapter from Roxas's POV but I decided that I wouldn't have enough to write about, so I decided to just write from Axel's POV again. This is the first back-to-back chapter from the same POV, but I'm sure it won't be the last.

 

Chapter 12 Axel

I left this morning.

It's so weird. It doesn't seem real at all. Becky woke me up this morning pretty early in order to get me ready for my transfer. I got dressed and Becky served me breakfast—a bowl of oatmeal, a thing (I'm not sure what you'd call it) of yogurt, and a cup of apple juice because my stomach doesn't react well to orange juice; it's too acidic and gives me a stomachache.

After breakfast, it was time for me to get ready. While I gathered my things. Becky went to get me a wheelchair; they weren't going to make me walk all the way to the Psych Ward by myself. When she returned, there was another nurse with her. She was shorter and stockier than Becky with light brownish-red hair and almond-colored eyes.

“Axel, I want you to meet your new nurse, Hannah. She'll be taking care of you during your stay at the Psych Ward,” Becky said.

“Hi Axel.” Hannah smiled sweetly at me.

“Hi.” I smiled back.

“Just give us a couple minutes to make sure everything is set and then we can get going,” Hannah said.

I nodded. The moment I was dreading was fast approaching. Hannah and Becky left.

Sighing softly, I walked over to Roxas's side of the room one last time. I would have given my cell phone number, if I still had one. See, my parents confiscated my cell phone after I landed myself in the hospital the first time. I didn't burn myself on purpose, but I did get burned when I set my curtains on fire (don't ask). Plus I'm sure my parents didn't want me to be able to communicate with Zexion, if possible. Which didn't work, but I'm getting way off-track here.

Roxas was awake when I approached his bed. He probably woke up when Becky came in to get me up. The expression on his face was unreadable as he watched me come over. I tried to smile, but it made my chest hurt even more than it already did. The two of us just stared at each other for a few moments. I knew that I had to say something because Roxas obviously wasn't going to say anything.

“Well Roxas, I guess this is it. I wish it didn't have to end like this, or so suddenly, but I guess Fate has other plans for us. I guess we'll just have to find out what Fate wants from us when the time comes. Anyway, I'm digressing. I have a very bad habit of that. I'm very glad I got the chance to meet you and to sort of get to know you. Hopefully things will work out for you. So, as much as I hate saying this, it's goodbye.”

Roxas nodded miserably. He sat up. Slowly, I moved to the side of the bed and leaned forward to kiss him. I was slightly surprised when he deepened it, but went with it. He was much more careful this time because now he knew that it could aggravate my asthma. I have really bad asthma. Not every asthmatic will be affected by kissing, but I am. It's just how I work. The sound of someone clearing their throat made us look up. Roxas turned a lovely rose color and I'm sure I was at least a little bit flushed. Becky and Hannah were standing in the doorway with a wheelchair. Becky was smiling but Hannah didn't look so happy.

“It's time to go,” Hannah said.

“Right,” I muttered, pushing myself off Roxas's bed; somehow we got into a position where I was sort of kneeling over him. Kind of a compromising position.

I grabbed my duffel bag from where I had left it on my bed and walked over to the door. I sat in the wheelchair and got me settled. Now it was really time for me to go. I couldn't help sighing softly as I gazed at Roxas one last time.

“Well Roxie,” I said as brightly as I could muster. “See you around. Good luck with life and stuff.”

Hannah silently pushed me out of the room.

“Good bye Axel,” I heard Roxas murmur as I left.

It made leaving hurt even more.

The trip to the Psych Ward took extremely long. It was on the opposite side of the hospital, which is really saying something because this hospital is HUGE!

“Aren't you tired from pushing me so far?” I asked Hannah.

She shook her head. “I'm used to walking all over the place.”

“Oh.” That killed that conversation.

Finally, we arrived at a pair of large metal double doors marked: Psychiatric Ward. Authorized Personnel and Escorted Guests Only Beyond This Point. We had to go through a whole bunch of security before we were able to go through. Hannah said it was because they didn't want any of the patients in the ward getting out. Yeah, I guess that was true. Hannah announced my arrival and we had to wait for a while. They searched my bag which was pointless because there were only clothes in them, but you never know, right? Then they did a lot of paperwork and things I just flat out didn't understand. They introduced me to a lot of people. I didn't even remember them after a couple minutes. Finally, they took me back into the actual ward.

Hannah did her best to explain things. The first thing we passed was a bunch of conference rooms that were used for family visits, if it was applicable. Then there was a large lounge-like room with a card table among other things. This was the `gathering room'. There was a room with a bunch of chairs for group therapy and another room with easels and art supplies. The art room. Next to the art room was a large cafeteria. We only peeked in because it was packed. Apparently everyone was at breakfast.

On the other side of the cafeteria on both sides of the hallway were classrooms. Some of the more “normal” (and Hannah used this term loosely) patients were actually able to participate in a class and…learn stuff. Like in school. It depended on the individual patient's needs and stuff. After the classrooms ended, there was a fork in the hallway. You could either turn left or right. We turned right. To the left, Hannah said, were the offices of the psychiatrists who worked here. Starting a short distance down the hall were the patient rooms. There were several different types, depending on how severe the patient's needs were. Some were more `medical' meaning that there were more pieces of medical equipment. They looked like hospital rooms. Some looked like regular rooms and not hospital rooms and there were some that were in the middle. Hannah let me look in some of the rooms as we went by. They were all empty, of course.

My room was one of the middle rooms; the medical equipment was very limited. It, like the majority of the rooms, was a double, meaning that there were two people sharing it. My roommate, Demyx was at breakfast and I would meet him later. I was surprised to see that there was a guitar propped up against one of the walls. It seemed like it would be something forbidden because it was large and heavy, good for hurting one's self but Hannah smiled and said that Demyx was a very special case. Whatever that meant. Hannah left me alone for a little while so I could get “settled”. I sat on the edge of my bed and looked around at my new `home'. The room was small, square, and not entirely unpleasant. The room was scarcely furnished and everything was bolted to the floor. There were two beds on opposite sides of the room and a dresser between them. There was even a window. It was barred but hell, at least there was some natural light. The floor was tile which would be a bitch in the winter, but it wasn't entirely impossible to deal with. The medical equipment was limited to a thingy for an IV, a heart monitor, and an oxygen thing…y. There was a locked cabinet near the door that probably had everything medically related in it. The last thing that sort of bugged me was the restraints. It just made me feel uncomfortable. I know they were there in case of an emergency, but still…

I shook my head and tried to not dwell on that. Luckily, there was a soft knock on the door that interrupted my thoughts.

“Um…come in?” I said.

The door opened and Hannah came in.

“Axel, your roommate is here. Are you…comfortable with meeting him right now?” she said.

“Um…yeah. Sure,” I replied.

Might as well get it over with.

Hannah turned and said something to an invisible person. Well invisible to me. Then she stepped out of the way and a different nurse with long brown hair stepped forward with a blond in tow.

“Hi Axel. My name is Aerith. I'm Demyx's nurse,” the nurse said with a smile.

“Hi.”

Aerith turned around and I started feeling nervous. Just how crazy was my roommate? Would I be afraid of him?

“Come on Demyx. He's fine,” Aerith said softly. She turned around, slightly exasperated. “I'm sorry. He's a bit scared.”
“Hey it's cool,” I said, shrugging. “I can totally understand. In this place, you have every right to be afraid.”
“You have no idea,” Demyx muttered softly. He sounded normal enough.

I shifted impatiently.

“Come on kid. I won't bite you I promise. I may look like I want to, but trust me, human being isn't exactly high on my `Tastiest Foods' list. It's more like…number 1,003. Right under dirt.”

There was a low laugh. Then, Demyx stepped out. He looked relatively normal with longish blond hair styled halfway between a mowhawk and a mullet and friendly sea green eyes…except that there were long scars on his face and arms. I wish I had had at least a bit of warning so I wouldn't stare at the poor guy's face. It's not like he's disfigured or anything. It's just…god. What the hell happened to him? Did he do it to himself?

He saw me staring at the scars and lowered his eyes.

“I'm hideous I know,” he mumbled.

“Demyx,” Aerith scolded. “You know you're not allowed to talk like that.”
“But it's true,” Demyx mumbled.

“I don't think you're hideous,” I spoke up.

Demyx looked up at me. “You're just saying that.”
“No. I'm not. Really. Look, I'm all scar-ry too.” I pushed up the sleeves of my shirt (it was a long sleeved shirt) and showed Demyx all the scars on my arms. Then I bent down and showed him the ones on my legs. Those were much worse because that's where I got burned the worst. Demyx flinched when he saw him. I saw the curiosity reflected in his sea-green eyes but he didn't say anything.

“You can ask if you want. I'm totally cool talking about it,” I said with a faint smile.

“Y…you are?” Demyx looked surprised for some reason.

“Yeah. It doesn't bother me.”

“What happened?” Demyx's voice was soft.

“There was a fire,” I answered. “I burned myself.”

Demyx frowned. “Don't you mean you got burned in the fire?”

“No. I burned myself. I. Burned. Myself.” Demyx didn't seem to get it. I gestured to my arms and legs. “I purposefully set myself on fire.”

Demyx's eyes widened and he stared at me. He was rendered speechless for quite some time.

“Okay. It's time for us to go to the gathering room,” Aerith cut the silence brightly. “Demyx, are you coming?”

Demyx silently nodded. He trailed after the nurse. At the door, he turned around and looked at me.

“You didn't ask me what happened,” he stated. “It's just a bit weird. Everyone I've met so far has wanted to know.”

I shrugged. “I'm not going to force you to talk about it if you don't want to. You can tell me if you want.”
Demyx made a soft “oh” sound and turned around. He hesitated in the door and turned around again.

“I fell,” he unexpectedly said. “When I was eight. I fell through a window.”

“Ah, I see.”

Demyx seemed to fight with himself for a few seconds before shaking his head. “No, that's not right. I didn't fall. I was pushed. By my father.”
“Your father?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah.” Tears appeared in the corners of his eyes.

“That sucks,” I offered. “If it's any consolation, my father tried to `convert' me.”

Demyx gave me a blank look. I sighed softly; I was going to have to explain things.

“I am gay and my parents are homophobic,” I said shortly. Demyx's eyes widened. He just stared at me. “Look, I don't care if you're against it. I really don't. But…”

The door opened and Hannah came in.

“Axel, I need you to come with me. Dr. Wise is ready to see you,” she said briskly.

“Oh. Okay.” I moved past Demyx without giving him a second glance.

I followed Hannah down the halls.

“I forgot to tell you about the rules. Most of them are easy to remember,” she said as we walked. No going anywhere except the bathroom without an escort. No guests except for by special permission from Dr. Wise. No sleeping with the opposite sex.” She gave me a withering look. “I'm sure you won't have a problem with that. But I'm sure sleeping with the same sex won't be tolerated either. In short: no having sex anywhere. Period.”

“Talk about sucking the fun out of life,” I muttered.

Hannah pointedly ignored me. She went on about meals and all sorts of other fun stuff. She left me at Ansem's door saying that she'd be back when my hour was up. I breathed deeply and knocked on the door.

“Come in,” a man's voice commanded quietly.

I pushed the door open and entered. Ansem's room was like a lot of other psychiatrist's offices that I had seen over the years. It was set up differently than all the others but it had couches and chairs, a desk pushed into the corner, large windows that had bars over them, and several large bookshelves. Ansem was sitting in a recliner, a pair of thin-framed glasses on his nose. He smiled when he saw me.

“Ah Axel. Welcome,” he said.

“Hi,” I responded.

“Have a seat wherever you want.” Ansem motioned to the wide array of chairs and couches. I chose a comfortable-looking couch and sighed as I sank back into the cushions. Ansem smiled. “So Axel. I am going to be your psychologist for the next…well however long it takes you to heal. I'm sure you know the drill. You'll also be seeing a psychiatrist. Your records indicate that you have seen several psychologists in the past.”

“Question,” I interrupted Ansem. “What the hell is the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist?”

“A very good question Axel. A psychiatrist is able to prescribe medication for a patient and a psychologist is not.”

“Will I be seeing both?”

“Yes. You will be. You'll meet with me daily and your psychiatrist once a week to begin with. As time goes on, you will see us less and less until eventually…we hope…you'll be able to be released and live among society again.”

“When will I meet my psychiatrist?”

“You will have your first meeting with him a little later today.”

“Him? What is his name?”

“His name is Xehanort and he's a former student of mine.”
“Will he be drugging me up?”

“Not unless he deems it necessary. That will be something you'll have to go over with him. Now, in this first session I want to go over all the boring information like your history and personal information. We'll start at the very beginning. You are an only child correct?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “I don't think my parents ever meant to have kids…”
“What do you mean by that?” Ansem interrupted, frowning a bit.

“They just aren't really the type of people who would go off and raise a big family. But they got stuck with me.”

“How would you describe your relationship with your parents?”

I laughed shortly. “Not very good. They don't like…” I stopped myself.

“What? What don't they like?”
“They don't like my sexual preference.”

“Indeed. So I take it you're either gay or bisexual?” Ansem peered at me.

“Bi.”
“And how long have you known?”

“Since middle school. Can we talk about something else please?”

“Yes. I should have realized that it's not something you're willing to talk about right off the bat and that is fine. You grew up in a…normal household, am I correct?”

“Define `normal.'”

“No divorces. No family deaths. Things that would cause you stress.”
“Yeah. There was nothing like that, at least from what I can remember.”
“What do you mean by that?” Ansem frowned.

“I don't remember some things that happened when I was a kid. I think…” I let out a long breath. “I think I'm repressing things that happened, maybe some bad things.”
“Oh?” It was a prompt for me to continue.

“No matter how hard I think about it, I can't recall certain times in my life, like when I was eight. Actually my first memory isn't until I'm nine.”
“Do you think something happened that would cause you to repress things?”

“I don't know. See that's the thing. I have no idea. I've asked my parents about it but they insist that nothing has happened to me and change the subject. They quickly change the subject.”

“Which makes you think something happened that they aren't telling you about?” Ansem asked.

“Yeah. Exactly.”
“Would that be…something that you'd want to work on in here with me?”

“There are certain techniques that I can use to help with that and sometimes, the memories will resurface on their own.”

“Okay. That sounds good.” I paused. “Do you think…this will help me?”
Ansem nodded. “I think there is some connection to your recent hospitalization however…” he glanced at the clock. “It would appear we are out of time for today so we'll pick up where we left off tomorrow all right?”
“Sounds good.” I rose and left.

Hannah was waiting for me and we silently went back to my room.

To be continued…

A/N: First, let me apologize for the lack of updates recently. I've been buried under piles of school work and I'm having some personal problems that are just adding to my stress level. So…yeah.

Also I just wanna explain some things in this fic. I'm not entirely sure of what goes on in a Psych Ward at a hospital so I've taken a bit of artistic license with this. I do know some things from my Psychology classes that I've taken and I've been able to string a few things together. Normally, a person who was mentally unstable would be admitted directly into the Psych Ward but Axel's case is different because he was so severely injured. He was forced to stay in the main hospital until he was able to be moved.

The focus is starting to shift towards Axel a bit more but that doesn't mean Roxas is out of the picture for good. He, as well as Zexion, will be coming back later. This is something I'm certain about. I probably won't really refer to Roxas for a couple chapters, but that doesn't mean that he's gone for good. Same with Zexion. I just want to sort of set a foundation for the rest of the fic. You'll see how Zexion gets acquainted with Demyx later. I promise. Oh yeah, and I'm starting to shifting towards lengthier chapters. Instead of 1,000-2,000 words, I'm trying to make the chapters around 3,000 or maybe 4,000 words. The transition to longer chapters will be slow so it's not overwhelming. So…yeah. Reviews help me update faster. And I'm sorry for rambling too much.

Edit: I finally went back and made a couple of corrections. Just so everyone is clear, Hannah and some others will refer to Ansem as “Dr. Wise” because they're being formal. Axel on the other hand, will refer to Ansem informally, using his first name. There will be others who refer to Ansem informally and some who will refer to him formally.