Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Burn ❯ Chapter 13 Demyx ( Chapter 13 )

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II. I'm merely borrowing them. And I'm not making any money by writing this either. Okay?

A/N: -looks at date and pales- I know, this chapter is long overdue. I'm so sorry. NaNoWriMo was a bitch, but I'm proud to say that I did it!!! I made it to 50,000 words by the 30th even though the novel was really crappy. Writing that was an adventure in itself, especially when the main character decided he wanted to die in like the tenth chapter or so. But I revived him and made it to the end. But anyway, yeah. So sorry. Please don't kill me!!

 

Chapter 13 Demyx

Axel is a handful, that's for sure. The first time I met him, I wasn't sure of what to make of him. He was so…I don't even know a word to describe him. I had known for a while that I was going to be getting a roommate. At least they had had the decency to tell me beforehand. But nothing could have prepared me for when I actually met the guy.

The first thing I noticed about Axel was his hair. It was so…red. And it was everywhere. His eyes were bright green and beneath each eye was a teardrop tattoo. He was older than me by a year or two and he was smiling. He did stare at my scarred face and arms, but then he showed me his scars. They were a lot worse than mine, but luckily were easy to hide with clothes. He talked so casually about how he got the scars—he burned himself in a fire. And he didn't ask why I had my scars, not like everyone else. I ended up telling him though.

At first I told him the lie, the one I had been telling for a long time until I started to believe it was the truth. But then I saw his kind face and I instantly felt horrible about lying to him. So I told him the truth. His reaction was sort of strange. The smile faded away slightly and he seemed to be deep in thought. Then he told me about his parents and how he was gay and they were homophobic. All I could do was just stare at him until his nurse came to get him; it was time for his first visit with his psychologist. Aerith came back to see why I hadn't followed her. I didn't give her a response as I followed her into the gathering room, clutching my guitar tightly to my chest. Aerith and I sat in the corner as we usually did and I started strumming chords on my guitar, trying to compose a song.

After a while, I stopped and looked up at Aerith.

“Can you please get me something to write with and write on?” I asked.

Aerith nodded and went over to the table where another patient Amanda was coloring. She brought back a piece of blank paper and a crayon.

“I'm sorry, this is the best I could do,” Aerith apologized, holding them out.

“It's all right.” I smiled at her.

 

The crayon was dull, but I could work with it. I drew out a staff on the paper and started working.

 

Axel did not reappear for quite a while and when he did, he was smiling again. Yuffie, the resident psycho (not counting us crazies) introduced him to everyone. There were a dozen of us who were actually allowed out of our rooms. We weren't as much of a danger to ourselves as some of the others. Amanda sat at her usual table coloring and humming to herself. Alyson sat next to her actually drawing. They were twins, though they didn't really look alike. Amanda had red hair and Alyson had light blonde hair. Luxord, a man obsessed with gambling sat at his usual table in the corner with his nurse playing cards. His icy blue eyes briefly rested on Axel before returning to his cards. Xigbar and Xaldin sat in their usual corner talking. They were a weird pair. Xaldin had long black hair and violet eyes and Xigbar had an eye patch. His long black hair was streaked with grey and one yellow eye glared out at Axel. There were a bunch of others, though I couldn't remember their names. I was never the best at remembering names.

Everyone stared at Axel, but he didn't seem affected by it. Amanda surprisingly got up from her place and walked up to Axel.

“Me and Alyson were wondering if that was really your hair color,” she said slowly. She looked slightly intimidated by the sight of Axel, but he didn't seem to mind. He smiled.

“Yes, this is my natural color,” he said.

Right on schedule, SaÏx began screaming. He's one of the more dangerous patients. The doctors don't know why but he has these episodes where he just starts screaming and just...loses it. Which prompts screaming matches between him and some of the other residents. In short, things just go to hell. Which is precisely what happened. Some of the other patients started throwing temper tantrums and things. Like chairs and other things. Alyson and Amanda began crying as well as some of the other girls. Axel just stood there in the middle of the room staring blankly as things whizzed by his head.

“Axel?” His nurse Hannah asked, gently touching Axel's arm.

I stared when Axel jerked his arm away.

“Let go of me!” he yelled. He cradled his arm. “I'll be a good boy. I promise. Just don't lock me away again. Please.” His breathing started quickening. He fell to his knees, clutching his chest. Hannah's eyes widened and she knelt down next to him. “Axel.” Her voice was gentle. “Axel it's okay. No one is going to hurt you. No one will lock you away, all right?”

“You promise?” He sounded so childlike.

“Yes.”

Somehow, Hannah managed to convince him to get up and walk with her in the general direction of the rooms. The rest of us were herded into the Art Room for an impromptu art session. Axel didn't rejoin us for about half an hour and when he did, he was smiling serenely. I was the only one who found this strange. Axel was given the easel next to me. I looked over at him from time to time. He seemed completely normal, all things considered, not like he had just had a childlike outburst. But that's the way things go here. Always have and always will.

Lunch was hasty because of the earlier incident that occurred. But it's become a routine here. After lunch, I had my hourly session with Dr. Ansem.

“Ah Demyx, welcome,” he said cordially, offering me a choice of seats.

Today I chose the squashy armchair in the corner. It's one of my favorites.

“So how are you doing today?” Dr. Ansem asked.

“Good, considering what happened this morning,” I answered.

“Ah yes, I heard about that. It is becoming quite a routine here for SaÏx to start screaming at the same time each morning.”

“And Axel acted weird,” I said before I could stop myself.

Dr. Ansem looked interested. “Oh? What happened?”

“When his nurse touched his arm, he went nuts. He cried out and begged that he not be locked away. He said he'd be a good boy.” I shivered at the memory. It was clear at least to me that something had happened to Axel when he was a child that caused this to happen.

“What do you think of Axel? He is your new roommate after all.”

“He's…” I thought for a word to describe him, but there was none. “I have no idea what he is.”

“Quite a character, huh?” Dr. Ansem smiled.

“Yeah.” I nodded. “ I don't know what to make of him. He isn't like anyone else I've met before.”

“Oh?” Ansem prompted.

“He did stare at my scars like everyone else, but didn't ask. And he was totally forward about what happened to him. He didn't seem ashamed of his actions at all. He didn't pry. I told him anyway though. I couldn't help it.”

“Did you tell him the truth?”

I hesitated. “Yes. I told him the lie at first, but then I told him the truth. I felt bad about lying to him.”

“That's good Demyx. It's a good step toward being more open about your feelings.”

“I feel like…like I can trust him.”

“Good. Very good.”

I smiled. “I think he'll be a good friend.”

“Yes, I agree.”

“What else would you like to talk about?” Dr. Ansem asked.

“I don't know.” I shifted uncomfortably. “He told me that he's gay.”

“Oh? And what do you feel about this?”

“It's okay. I mean it's okay that he's gay. I don't have a problem with it. Especially since I…”

“You have been questioning your sexual identity for some time now, haven't you?” Dr. Ansem asked.

“Yeah,” I answered. “But I know now more than ever that I am…”

“You are what?” Dr. Ansem asked.

“I'm…I'm…” I struggled with the word that had eluded me for so long.

“Come on Demyx. You can say it. Saying the word helps you accept the truth. You're gay. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Say the word out loud. Make it official. You're gay.”

“I'm gay,” I whispered. The words barely came out. “I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay. I'M GAY!!”

“Excellent Demyx. You see, saying it out loud isn't as hard as you think. And now that it's out, don't you feel so much better?”

“Yes,” I answered.

It was great. It felt so good to get the words out there at last. I was gay and there was nothing wrong with me. Despite what my parents might think, there was nothing wrong with me liking other boys instead of girls.

“What else is going on Demyx?” Ansem asked.

“Not really a whole lot. I was working on another song when Saix started screaming his lungs out so I got interrupted,” I answered.

“That's too bad. How is that song coming?”

I shrugged. “It's coming. Some days are better than others. Some days I'm just fine, but other days, I just think my stuff is complete crap and want to tear it to bits. Sometimes I do just that. Not that it really matters.” I smiled bitterly. “I'm completely worthless anyway.”

“Demyx, what have I told you about saying those sort of things about yourself? You are not worthless at all. You create wonderful music and have so many other talents as well.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“You're a gifted musician, and from what I've heard, you've got a lovely singing voice. You can paint and you're a brilliant student. You just have a hard time seeing these good qualities.”

“If you say so.” I sighed softly.

“I know so. It looks like we're out of time for now, but I have a little assignment I'd like you to do for me, okay?”

“Sure.” I nodded.

“I want you to make a list of all the good qualities you have. I'm not talking about your talents, like the things you do, but the qualities you have. An example would be that you are a good listener. You'll be surprised at how many good qualities you have Demyx. If you get stuck, ask Aerith. She'll be able to help you, I'm sure. I will see you tomorrow.”

“Bye Dr. Ansem,” I murmured.

I met Aerith outside his office and told her of my assignment.

“That doesn't seem too hard,” she said cheerily. “We can sit down together in the gathering room and make a list together. How does that sound?”

“Sounds good.” I nodded.

We went to the gathering room where Yuffie was setting up an arts and crafts section. A special arts and crafts because there are so many things that could go wrong around us. Instead of joining them, Aerith lead me into a quiet corner and fetched a piece of paper and a crayon.

“Okay, first on the list: good listener,” I said.

Aerith wrote it down. She has much better handwriting than I do.

“Okay. Next, very very sweet,” Aerith said.

I flushed.

“You're very kind.” Aerith wrote down.

“What ya doing?” Axel asked, walking over to us, Hannah trailing behind him.

“Making a list,” Aerith answered. “Demyx has to make a list of all the good qualities he has for Dr. Ansem. Would you like to try?”

“No thank you.” Axel shook his head. “But I will sit here if you don't mind.”

“No, not at all,” I said truthfully.

Grinning, Axel sat in the seat next to me. Hannah sat next to him.

“You're a good friend,” Axel pointed out. “I know I haven't known you for very long, but I think it's safe to say that you're a good friend.”

“How do you know?” I asked.

Axel smiled mysteriously. “I just know.”

At the end of our free period (which was an hour long), Aerith and I had come up with quite a long list of good qualities that I possessed. Feeling happier than usual, I went to my weekly meeting with my psychiatrist, Vexen. You see, there are several psychiatrists here, not just one. And there are also several psychologists. Ansem is in charge and he's the one I happen to see. All the other psychiatrists and psychologists are former students of Ansem's. It's really pretty neat.

Vexen is okay. He's a bit cold, but I've gotten used to him. Our meetings are always quick. He asks me how I'm feeling and if I'm experiencing any of the side effects from the drugs I've been taking. I haven't. He weighs me and measures me to see how I'm growing (because I am still growing). Then, he tells me to keep taking my medicine and I'm free to go. This happens every single time. It was quite pointless. I went back to the room Axel and I share for a little private down time before dinner. Axel was there (duh) staring at the ceiling. Around here, there's not much else we can do. Fortunately, I have something to occupy my time. I went to the corner and pick up my prized guitar.

“Do you mind if I play?” I asked. “It keeps me occupied so I don't start freaking out.”

“Naw, it's fine,” Axel said.

“I'm sorry if I suck.” I sat on my bed and got the guitar into position. I started strumming the chords and sang along. “In Dublin's fair city, where the girls are so pretty, I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone…”

I stopped when I realized that Axel was staring at me.

“I'm sorry. I must sound so bad,” I murmured.

“No.” Axel rapidly shook his head. “It's wonderful. Really. You have one hell of a voice.”

“Really? You think so?” I flushed.

“Yeah. I could never sing like that in a million years.”

“I'm sure you're not bad at all. Do you know the words to the song?”

“Yeah. Molly Malone, right? Love that song.”

I nodded and started strumming again. “In Dublin's fair city, where the girls are so pretty, I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone. She wheeled her wheelbarrow through streets broad and narrow, crying `cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh.”

“Alive, alive, oh. Alive, alive oh. Crying `cockles and mussels, alive, alive oh'.” I was surprised when Axel joined in, but glad; he had a very good voice as well.

We sang together, “She was a fishmonger, and sure it `twas no wonder, for so were her father and mother before. They both wheeled their barrow through streets broad and narrow, crying `cockles and muscles, alive, alive, oh'. Alive, alive, oh. Alive, alive oh. Crying `cockles and mussels, alive, alive oh'. She died of a fever and no one could save her. And that was the end of sweet Molly Malone. But her ghost wheels her barrow through streets broad and narrow, crying “cockles and mussels, alive, alive oh. Alive, alive, oh. Alive, alive oh. Crying `cockles and mussels, alive, alive oh'.”

Both of us were silent after I had finished the last chord. Hannah and Aerith stood in the doorway, both of them looking stunned.

“That was…incredible,” Aerith finally managed to say.

“It's a sad song,” Hannah said.

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Tragic. But I think that's why I like it so much.”

“Was there something you ladies wanted?” Axel asked, grinning cheekily.

“Yes. It's time for dinner,” Aerith said.

“Okay. We'll be right there,” Axel responded. He turned to me. “You know, you should consider putting on a concert sometime. I'm serious! I'm sure the others would love to hear your beautiful voice and great guitar skills. I'm sure you've written some great stuff, even better than Molly Malone.”

“I don't know,” I said hesitatingly. “I don't like sharing my stuff with others. What if they don't like it? What if they say I suck?”

“You don't suck,” Axel said sternly. “You're great. You just need a bit of a confidence boost. Okay, maybe a big confidence boost, but that's beside the point. I know you're good. You should really think about giving a concert sometime.”

“I'll think about it,” I conceded just a little.

“Well, it's a start.” Axel shrugged. “Come on, let's go to dinner. I'm starving and even if the food sucks, I don't care.”

I smiled and followed Axel out of our room. Things were definitely going to be interesting with him around.

To be continued…

A/N: Wow, I finally finished the chapter. Sure took me long enough. No, there's nothing going on between Demyx and Axel except friendship. I'm planning to reintroduce Zexion and Roxas soon. Hey, at least I brought another Organization member in. It was just completely random. Oh well. I'm going to get some sleep. Sleep is good. Sorry for all the rambling. Oh yes and I don't own the song Molly Malone either.

Edit: I went back and corrected the errors I found. Good Lord, I must have been tired when I wrote this because I made a bunch of mistakes. There were a couple grammatical errors I fixed and I wrote in the present tense more than I intended. It's sort of hard to explain. Some things, like some thoughts are in the present tense and the rest is in past tense. But I slipped up. And I also fixed a part where I said, “Demyx” instead of “I”, lapsing back to third person, which is what I normally use when I write. I can't believe no one saw those mistakes. They were pretty obvious to me at least. Oh well. Sorry for the ramblings.