Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Burn ❯ Chapter 24 Axel ( Chapter 24 )

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts nor am I making any money by writing this.

A/N: Yeah, I upped the rating to M. It's mostly because of this chapter. There's an AkuZeku lemon in there and though I'm not sure HOW graphic it is, I'd feel better if the rating went up to M. So yeah. And that being said, this chapter is dedicated to MuffinPirate my beta who wanted me to write an AkuZeku lemon. So here it is.

Chapter 24 Axel

When I came to, my throat was hoarse from screaming. All I could see was white and I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe either.

I didn't realize that I had said that out loud until someone put a breathing mask over my nose and mouth. All of a sudden, it was easier to breathe. I looked around, but all I could see were shadows. The darkness crept into the room. I started screaming again as the darkness started overtaking me again. The shadows pinned me down. I heard distorted voices, but I couldn't understand what they were saying. I heard footsteps and a soft voice belonging to a woman. Then, I blacked out again.

I always had an affinity for fire, ever since I was a kid. There was something intriguing about it, probably because it was so dangerous. I had a few friends, but that didn't bother me too much. The only real friend I had was Zexion. We were completely opposite, but it worked. He stood by me through the years.

My parents didn't like it when I burned things so they sent me to see several therapists. They thought I had ADHD and put me on every medication in existence, which didn't help. The therapists they sent me to also didn't help at all, and eventually my parents gave up on me.

Whenever I was bad, they threw me in the basement. Sometimes, my father would shove me through the doorway, and I'd fall down the narrow stairs and hit the concrete floor. The basement was musty and old, never completed. The walls were covered with mold and water dripped down from the ancient pipes. I hated being down there, but there was no way for me to stop my affinity for fire. It just happened.

In high school, I met Larxene, who was my first love. She was a bitch, abusive and shit. It didn't take long for us to fall apart. Soon after that disaster, Zexion and I started dating. Some people thought it was a rebound, but it didn't matter. I was in love. This time was sure. I could count on him when my parents and I fought to help cheer me up and give me a safe place to stay until both parties had calmed down.

I remember the first time I kissed Zexion. I had had a little to drink; my parents and I had fought and I had snuck a bottle of vodka from the liquor cabinet when they weren't looking. I took a couple sips before leaving so I was a little tipsy when I went to Zexion's apartment. However, it wasn't enough alcohol to impair my judgment. I knew what I was doing.

Zexion was really surprised to see me there, but let me in anyway. Luckily, Reno was at work—he often worked late. Zexion and I got around to talking and I kissed him. Just like that. No warning, nothing. Just a kiss. Boy was he surprised.

“I'm sorry,” I whispered.

I wished I hadn't done that. It was stupid. Now everything was going to change. It may seem strange that a simple kiss would change everything, but I knew it would. I was looking for something beyond friendship, and I wasn't sure if Zexion would want the same thing as me. What the hell had I done?

Zexion's lips were so close to mine and I was tempted to kiss him again. “Axel, it's okay. It's really okay.”

Our lips connected again. We shifted our positions so he was much closer to me.

I hesitated. “Are you sure about this? I don't want to force you into anything you don't feel comfortable doing.”

“I'm sure, Axel,” Zexion replied.

“Okay.” I gently touched Zexion's cheek. “I just wanted to make sure.”

Zexion smiled. “Thank you.”

Our lips came back together. I already knew what I was doing. After all, I had dated Larxene. Zexion hadn't dated anyone, male or female.

I was so embarrassed when Reno interrupted our make-out session. I quickly got up.

“I'm going to your room, okay Zex?” I said.

“All right.” Zexion nodded.

I went to Zexion's room and waited on the edge of the bed. I could hear voices out in the living room, but I couldn't tell what they were saying. Finally, Zexion came in carrying his homework in his arms. He set the pile on his desk and walked over to the bed.

“So what did Reno say?” I asked.

“He told me to try and keep it down and use a condom,” Zexion answered.

There was a pause and then I burst out laughing. “Oh my god, did he really say that to you?”

“Yeah.” Zexion looked sheepish.

I laughed even harder. “Oh my god, I can't believe it. Only Reno would say something like that to you. You know, you should have asked him if he had a spare condom.”

“Axel!” Zexion protested.

“I'm kidding!” I chuckled. Zexion glared at me. “I'm just kidding.”

“So you don't expect us to have sex?” Zexion asked.

“Not right away,” I answered. “Unless you want to, of course. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do.”

“I know,” Zexion said. “I'm not sure I'm ready for sex right now.”

I nodded. “Yeah, that's what I thought. See, I know you, Zexion. I know you quite well. Look, I'm cool about waiting, okay?”

Zexion nodded and looked relieved. “Thanks Axel.”

I smiled. “No problem.”

***

We tried to keep our relationship secret, not from Reno, who was supportive, but from my parents. We mostly hung out at Zexion's apartment and whenever my parents were gone (if we were feeling adventurous), we went to my house. I didn't want to move too fast and Zexion seemed to be glad of it. I was afraid that if we moved too fast, everything would get fucked up like it did with Larxene.

I had never been with a guy before, but I had the basic idea of what we had to do from Larxene. We were actually pretty sexually active, which was weird because we didn't get along that well. It was more her than me, to be truthful.

Zexion and I started with hand jobs and after a few months, we moved up to blowjobs. It was a slow procession.

I will never forget the night Zexion told me he was ready to have sex with me. I had wanted to have sex months ago, but I was fine with waiting. I could've waited forever for him. Okay, maybe not, but I liked to think that I could wait forever for him.

“Are you sure?” I asked him.

“Yeah.” Zexion exhaled softly. “I'm ready for this.”

“You know I won't force you into anything.”

“Axel, I know,” Zexion said impatiently. “I know you've been waiting so patiently and I don't want you to have to wait any longer. I'm finally ready for this.”

“Zexion…” I murmured, gently cupping his face. “It's okay if we wait even longer. I really don't mind.”

“Yes you do,” Zexion insisted. I stared at him. “I know you, Axel. You've wanted to have sex for ages. You're only waiting for me because I'm not ready. I don't want you to have to wait. Okay?”

I stared into his eyes. “All right.”

Our lips came together and the kissing quickly became hotter. I nipped at his neck, hard enough for him to flinch slightly, but soft enough so it wouldn't leave a mark. I didn't believe in leaving hickeys so the entire world would know what we were doing.

It didn't take long for us to lose our shirts. I touched every inch of his pale skin and he touched every inch of mine. Our hands moved lower, taking off each other's pants. All of this was familiar territory for us; we had gone this far so many times before.

Zexion lay on the bed on his back, staring at me. He was ready for this. I could see it in his one visible eye. Our hands moved lower, sliding beneath the last bit of clothing that kept us separated. Then, that barrier was gone. I presented my hand to Zexion. He seemed to know what to do because he took my fingers in his mouth and started sucking on them. When they were adequately coated with saliva, I took my hand out of his mouth.

“This is it,” I whispered. “I will ask you one last time. Are you absolutely sure you want this?”

“Yes Axel,” Zexion replied sternly. “I've made my choice.”

“Okay.” I nodded. “Roll onto your stomach.”

Zexion obeyed. I slipped a finger into him. He groaned at the contact. Tears appeared in the corners of his eyes and leaked down the sides of his face.

“I'm sorry,” I whispered.

“It's okay. Don't stop,” Zexion wheezed. “Feels…it feels good.”

I slipped a second finger in, causing Zexion to hiss. I moved the two fingers around, stretching the muscle even though it wasn't going to help—Zexion was so little. Even so, I wanted to make it as painless as possible. Finally, I took my fingers out.

“Okay. I'm going in,” I whispered.

Zexion nodded. I exhaled softly and pressed into him, trying to be as gentle as I could. I still saw him wince. He cried out and squeezed his eyes shut. His distress made my chest hurt. I wanted sex, yes, but I didn't want to make Zexion suffer for it. I loved him. I just wanted him to be happy. I felt my own eyes burn with tears.

“I'm sorry Zex. I'm so sorry,” I whispered.

“Stop apologizing,” Zexion said. “I knew it'd hurt. I'm fine.”

I started thrusting slowly, carefully, going deeper each time. Zexion moaned and arched his back with each thrust. Even though I was trying to be gentle with him since it was his first time, I couldn't help quickening my pace. I reached around Zexion's narrow hips and wrapped around his length. We rocked against each other, the pressure building.

Zexion released first, moaning and throwing his head back. I thrust a couple more times before releasing. I pulled out of him at last and collapsed beside him. That was how we lay, sweaty and out of breath. I wrapped my arm around his waist.

“How was that?” I whispered, kissing his earlobe.

“Wonderful,” Zexion answered with a smile.

“Good. I'm glad.”

My lips found his for a chaste kiss.

 

I was actually happy for a while. It was the happiest I had felt in a long time. Then my parents found out and they weren't happy at all. They made Zexion and me miserable. Basically, they made us break up. My father was (and still is) a very homophobic man. He told me that I was going to burn in hell, so I started to burn.

It was only a little at first. It made me feel better. I didn't it to escalate into anything big, at least not when I started out. There was a surge of adrenaline that came with burning myself and a sort of giddiness that calmed me. As time went on, I had to burn myself more and more to get that same surge of adrenaline. Then, I finally lost control and almost killed myself. The only thing that kept me alive was Zexion. He had come over to help me study for a math test since math really wasn't my thing. He found me and got me out of there before the entire room burned down. He called an ambulance and I was taken to the hospital. He saved my life.

***

I slowly opened my eyes. A soft voice called out my name. I tried moving, but the only thing I could move was my head. I turned it to the side. The person who had called out to me was Demyx, sitting in a chair by my bed. He held a washcloth in his hands. When he saw me looking at him, he smiled and got up. He leaned over the bed and washed my face with the washcloth, which felt incredibly good—it was cool and my face was covered in sweat.

“How are you feeling?” Demyx asked.

I tried to something, but all that came past my dry lips was a hiss of air.

“I'm…thirsty. Dry,” I finally managed to croak out.

“I'll see if the doctor will let you have some ice chips,” Demyx said. “I'll be right back.”

He set the washcloth on a table and headed out of the room. When he came back, he was smiling.

“Hannah is getting you some ice chips,” he said.

He sat back down in the chair and we waited in silence. A few minutes later, Hannah came in with a cup. She handed it to Demyx and came forward to check the machines I was hooked up to.

“You look good,” she said.

She left. Demyx took a piece of ice and put it in my mouth.

“Suck on it,” he ordered.

I nodded and resisted the urge to bite down on it. We were quiet for a while. I stuck the ice in my cheek so Demyx could understand me.

“Where's Roxas?” the words came out slightly slurred.

“I sent him of to get some sleep a while ago. He was staying with you almost constantly and it was starting to take a toll on him,” Demyx explained.

I frowned. Demyx's words barely made sense unless…unless…

“Dem,” I croaked. “Dem, how long have I been unconscious?”

“I don't know for sure,” Demyx answered. “It's been a really long time though.”

“If you had to make a guess, what would you say?” I asked.

Demyx thought for a few moments. “A couple weeks, maybe? I don't really know. I don't have access to a calendar so I don't know how long it's been since you were last lucid. I don't even know how long I've been in this place.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,” I interrupted Demyx's little ramble. “Did you say `weeks' as in more than one?”

“Yeah.” Demyx nodded.

“What the hell was wrong with me?”

Demyx shifted uncomfortably. “I…I don't know. I'm not a doctor.”

“Yeah, I know that,” I said impatiently. “But you must have seen what was happening.”

“Well, yeah,” Demyx said hesitantly.

“Just tell me what was going on!” I snapped.

Demyx sighed softly. “You were completely out of your mind. You screamed incoherently and thrashed around violently. You were sedated and restrained almost constantly and you had several seizures. It was scary as hell to watch.”

“Fuck,” I whispered. It made me sick. “Where's Zexion?”

“He was here earlier, but he had to go to his session with Dr. Wise and Reno. Zexion and Reno have been having weekly sessions with him,” Demyx answered.

I finished the ice chip I was on and Demyx gave me another one.

“Thanks,” I said quietly.

Demyx nodded and watched me. We were silent for a while again. I hated the silence. It made me uncomfortable. I had to say something. Anything. Desperately, I cast my mind around for something to say.

“I remember,” I said. Demyx stared at me. “I remember what happened to me as a kid and I know why I'm so fucked up. My father would drag me by the arm and lock me in the basement whenever I did something bad.”

“I'm sorry,” Demyx whispered.

I shrugged. “It's not your fault I have terrible parents.”

Demyx didn't have a response for this.

To be continued…

A/N: Wow, that was intense. And long. Unfortunetly, I don't think the rest of the chapters are going to be that long. I'll try my best, but I'm not convinced. Oh well. I'm getting excited now that things are falling into place and are beginning to wrap up. It's always good to reach the end of something, especially if you've been working on it for a long time.