Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Desperate Reflections ❯ Understanding Comfort ( Chapter 13 )

A/N: I know Axel seems a bit... off emotionally and characterally but he's still adjusting... hopefully I can get him back IC soon. Sorry about that.

 

Special thanks to animeloverkohaku, Zaxel, and CatNeko13 for their reviews! I hope you enjoy!!

 

A/N: Thanks everyone for your continuous support. Please leave a review before you go and let me know how I'm doing.

 

Chapter 10: Understanding Comfort

 

Axel woke up to the sound of muffled weeping. It was faint but the emotion it exuded made his heart thump in sympathy. He pried open his eyelids and released a little yawn as he conducted a quick systems check. He felt good, better than great actually. His wounds were healed, the lingering exhaustion gone and a small part of him was immensely relieved. Not to mention someone had changed his clothes, not that he hated being free of the grimy and likely bloodstained material.

 

He drew in a deep breath as he raked his gaze around the room. Books, he noted, scads of books piled floor to ceiling, and nothing he recognized from Gaia's Grotto. And that was when he remembered everything - their escape from `Paradise' and Reno's death.

 

Wait. His clothes.

 

Axel blinked down at his pocket-less sleeping pants, wondering where the sunglasses and the Oblivion memento had gone. He sat up on the bed, frantically scanning the room, only to sigh with relief when he caught sight of them on the nightstand. They were irreplaceable items and he would never forgive himself he broke his promise to Reno.

 

The sound filtered to his ears once more and Axel frowned, following the cries across the room to find an obviously occupied bed. A crown of dark hair and webbed wings were all the identification he needed. He wasted no time in throwing back the covers and padding softly across the cold, wooden floor. How kind of the strangers to allow Vincent and Axel to room together. At least, something remained familiar to them, now that they were finally free.

 

As he approached Vincent's bed, the sound of crying abruptly ceased although the winged man didn't stir. He could only guess that Vincent had heard his approach and as usual, was trying to hide his emotions. Axel rolled his eyes, shaking his head at the other man's foolishness. There was nothing wrong with being depressed over something and tears were acceptable, even for men.

 

Axel perched on the edge of Vincent's bed, staring down at the floor. The winged man didn't even acknowledge his presence. “This is your home,” he stated quietly, knowing that it was up to him to begin the conversation. “Shouldn't you be happier?”

 

There was silence for a moment. “One would think so,” Vincent replied lowly, his voice scratchy and strained. “But when you learn that not only has less time passed for them than you, but also that you have been forgotten, it tends to add a taint of melancholy to your life.”

 

Emerald eyes widened in shock as he turned towards his roommate. “What?” he exclaimed, unintentionally raising his voice above a low murmur. “You can't be serious!”

 

Vincent shifted on the bed, laying one clawed hand beneath his cheek since he was lying on his stomach per his usual sleeping arrangements. “I cannot help but think that Gaia's Grotto not only erases our memories, but attempts to erase our very existence.” He paused, crimson eyes filling with sadness. “Not even those closest to me can recall my face.”

 

“Why didn't you tell them, then?” Axel demanded. “Can't you just remind them?” He paused, reconsidering his statement. “Not even Cid?”

 

The winged male's voice was bitter, harsh and unyielding in the uncomfortable quiet of the room. Axel found himself momentarily missing the steady patter of the rain. “Look at me,” Vincent uttered, with a low and humorless laugh. “At what I have become. I do not think I am even human any longer. If he has forgotten me, then I don't want to force my presence on him.”

 

Vincent sighed, pulling his body up out of the bed until he was a sitting position. He folded clawed hands in his lap as crimson eyes regarded the younger male with a strange gleam. “You should find a way to Roxas, though,” Vincent suggested. “It has not been as long for you, I am certain. There is still the possibility that they may yet remember you.”

 

Axel's jaw tightened, his eyes narrowing before he realized it. “I don't think so,” he countered. “I'm going to help you. I owe you for saving me and my memories. I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for you.”

 

Something twitched at the corner of Vincent's lips. “You're stubborn so I won't waste my breath arguing.” He sighed, “But it is a fruitless venture.” Behind him, his wings moved faintly, just as restless and droopy as himself.

 

The younger man shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Please. Would you leave the pessimism for another time?”

 

“We are expected to explain everything tomorrow,” the winged man explicated, changing the subject with little precedence. “Or at least, all the details that I have yet to reveal to them. Other than my past and yours, I've relayed most of it.”

 

Axel made a non-committal sound in his throat as he considered the other man's words. He didn't remember much about arriving on their current world. Bits and pieces of the actual journey, landing, even being threatened but nothing concrete. Flashes of a conversation that might have been him but he really wasn't certain.

 

It was then that the memories hit him.

 

Reno. Blood staining his face and hands. An explosion of fiery fury. Destroying a good portion of Gaia's Grotto and many innocents in the process. Perhaps he wasn't as changed as he would like to think. Maybe he really was just like Xemnas and Saix on the inside. A killer without any care for others. He hadn't realized up until that point, how much of fear for that resonated inside of him.

 

“Axel?”

 

Emerald eyes blinked from where he was staring into space and Axel returned his gaze to his friend, wondering if that had been the first time Vincent had called for him. “Yeah?”

 

Vincent's gaze shifted to the window, barely covered by a gauzy curtain and letting in strands of silvery moonlight. The rays of pale luminosity stirred something inside Axel. There hadn't been a moon on Gaia's Grotto.

 

“You should get some sleep,” Vincent suggested, a strange note to his voice.

 

A yawn chose to attack Axel at that moment and it wasn't until then that he realized just how tired he was. Blood-spattered memories continued to linger at the back of his mind, however, and he didn't think he would be sleeping anytime soon. But Vincent looked tired so he would let the older man slumber, even if Axel himself was reduced to tossing and turning sleeplessly on his own bed.

 

He rudely yawned again as he nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you're right.” He rose from the bed, preparing to move towards his own when a clawed hand suddenly wrapped around his wrist, stopping him mid-stride. He turned to shoot Vincent a confused look over his shoulder but the older man's gaze was locked on the floor, a strange and somewhat cute, pinkish flush staining his cheekbones, barely visible in the soft moonlight.

 

“I...” he trailed off, licking his lips before continuing. “I don't want to be... alone tonight.”

 

Considering that they were currently sharing the same room, it was pretty obvious what Vincent was really asking for. Axel paused, shifting back towards Vincent. He was amused by the faint nervousness expressed by his more mature companion, but hid it well beneath a serious appearance. Otherwise, Vincent would fight to save his pride and simply spend the night crying all over again.

 

“You want me to stay?” he asked, a part of him sadistically gleeful to watch the emotions flutter across Vincent's face. The man really was beautiful, too bad Axel's heart already belonged to someone else.

 

The winged male swallowed thickly before nodding and finally lifting his gaze to Axel's. “No one here can understand what we've been through,” he explained quietly as he released Axel's arm from his grip. “They don't know what it is to be forgotten.”

 

The former Nobody was silent for all of a moment before he smirked and slipped into bed next to the other man. He could already feel the uneasiness of the unfamiliar begin to fade as he did so, and the blood-soaked memories were a little easier to handle. Just from the comforting warmth offered by his friend. And friend Vincent was, nothing more, nothing less.

 

It was so strange, to not worry about something coming to steal his memories in the middle of the night. The world seemed so incredibly still with its lack of rain and he could literally feel the emotion and the vigor of the people around him. It was an almost suffocating press of nothing and yet everything all at once. Still, surrounded by Vincent, he was calmed by the familiar, by the reminder of what they had left behind in Gaia's Grotto. No one ever said it would be easy to adjust.

 

Then again, no one ever thought they would escape either.

 

“They are going to get the wrong idea about us, you know,” Axel muttered as he shifted about in the bed to get comfortable, laying his head down on the soft pillow.

 

Vincent's arms settled warmly and loosely around his waist, a soothing weight. “They do not know who I am; it doesn't matter,” he murmured and Axel was happy to note that the strain and tension in his tone was gradually fading. He could literally feel Vincent relaxing. “Does it bother you? What we did?”

 

The redhead frowned, considering the other man's question as he let the silence wash over him, the only sound being Vincent's breathing. “No,” he finally admitted, glad that it was the utter truth and not something to merely placate Vincent. “You love Cid. I don't doubt that.”

 

“And you love Roxas,” the other man reminded him in a faintly bemused tone. “Even if you don't realize it.”

 

Axel smiled at that as Vincent went quiet, his steady breathing a warm puff against the back of Axel's neck. The younger man settled into the bed, closing his eyes to his weariness as he honestly believed that Vincent was drifting off into sleep. That was, until one quieter phrase drifted through the air.

 

“Thank you, Axel.”

 

He furrowed his brow, uncertain what exactly Vincent was thanking him for but deciding to take a good stab at it. “No problem,” he replied with a bare shrug. “I didn't want to be alone either.” Not and return to his memories, and not to return to his dreams.

 

“No,” Vincent countered, his fingers tracing a nonsensical pattern against the bare flesh of Axel's stomach. It wasn't a sexual action, just... restful. “I meant, thank you for bringing me home.”

 

“It was a risk I had to take,” Axel responded quietly, inwardly wishing he had taken the chance a lot sooner. If he had, Reno would still be alive. Of course, if he hadn't been so stupid on the battlefield, Reno would not have had to save him either. He couldn't help but feel guilty. And now, because of him, Reno would never get to return to Rude.

 

Vincent shifted behind him and Axel heard the swish of his wings readjusting themselves. “It's not your fault.”

 

“...”

 

The winged man sighed. “Axel, it's not--”

 

“Don't,” Axel inserted shortly. “Just... don't.” He didn't want to hear any consolation and he didn't want anyone to tell him that it wasn't his fault. Not when he could still smell the bitter tang of Reno's blood in his nose or hear the sounds of the battle echoing in the back of his head. And not when his hands felt so stained.

 

Silence fell between them, not uncomfortable or tense, just stillness. Satisfied that Vincent was going to sleep now, Axel settled into the bed and closed his eyes. For once, he wished for a night without dreams.

 

Fate chose to spit in his face. He was really beginning to think she had it out for him. Perhaps she delighted in his suffering. Nevertheless, Vincent eased into sleep quietly, his breathing even and soft but Axel dropped agitatedly into slumber, visions haunting him.

 

Scattered images, not unlike the ones he had experience in the portal, flashed through his mind too quick to tell. He dreamed of Reno again, of that moment when he turned only to see his close friend take a hit that had been meant for him. Such a stupid, stupid man.

 

He dreamed of Roxas, too. Only, instead of the happy memories, he relived over and over the day the blond walked out of his life without hardly even a backwards glance. He thought of their last few encounters, when Roxas hadn't even known who he was. He saw himself dying at Sora's side, only able to look into the other boy's eyes and fool himself into believing he saw Roxas somewhere within.

 

He dreamed of Gaia's Grotto, of the flashes of people he had once known. He saw the shadow beasts hiding in the darkness, waiting to consume him. There were glimpses of pale forms, claws dripping with blood, and even scenes of his own power failing him in the end.

 

He would be consumed, consumed by his own flame.

 

Needless to say, when Axel awoke the next morning, he was very groggy and very disturbed. He could tell in a single moment that he was the first to awaken, surprisingly enough. Of course, that might have also had something to do with the barely muffled giggles that floated to his ears. He could still feel Vincent's warmth wrapped around him and he opened his eyes, only to stare directly into large brown irises.

 

He blinked in confusion as the abnormally large face pulled back, returning to a normal size. “Ah, they're so cute,” the girl cooed with a giggle. He recognized her immediately. It was the one he had dubbed `annoying voice'.

 

Axel shifted his gaze past her, catching sight of another man standing just behind her. He had blond hair, blue eyes and a strange look to his face. “I'll... uh... shit,” he cursed as he chomped on his toothpick. “I'll go get Leon.” He promptly turned on his heels and exited as Axel slowly began to extract himself from Vincent's arms, inwardly surprised that the man was still sleeping.

 

“Oh, don't mind, Cid,” the girl commented, waving a hand dismissively at him. “He's still going through withdrawals.”

 

Emerald eyes widened in shock. That was Cid? His gaze flickered to Vincent for a moment but was distracted when the girl stuck out her hand and waved it in front of his face to gain his attention.

 

“I'm Yuffie!” she chirped good-naturedly, planting the other hand on her hip. “Ceran said your name was Axel.”

 

He nodded as he took her hand, inwardly wondering why Vincent hadn't given them his true name. She shook his hand vigorously and he was surprised at the strength of her grip, truly more than seemed to fit her small body.

 

A large grin broke out on her face. “Pleased to meetcha.” Yuffie released her firm clasp as Axel moved to swing his long legs over the edge of the bed, planting his bare feet over the floor. He could feel her eyes sweeping over his bare chest and couldn't help but wonder just how old she was, when her gaze flickered to Vincent just as quickly.

 

She tilted her head to the side. “Are you guys together?” she asked, reaching forward to run a few fingers through Vincent's hair.

 

Axel grabbed her hand before she could. “I wouldn't,” he warned her. “He can get pretty pissy.”

 

The dark-haired girl smiled as she retracted her wrist. “Uh-huh, kinda like Squeon. So... are you?”

 

When his eyes shifted to hers, revealing a carefully guarded expression, she quickly held up her hands, backing away a few feet. She didn't look afraid, mostly slightly amused. “Not that it's bad or anything. You should see Squeon whenever Cloud is here. He's so cute.” She giggled as she winked at Axel. “They--”

 

“Yuffie.” A warning tone echoed from the doorway and Axel tilted his body to the side, looking up to find the stormy-eyed brunet from earlier. He was standing in the doorway, leaning nonchalantly against the frame.

 

The brown-eyed girl turned immediately, her entire face lighting up. “Squeon!” she exclaimed, oblivious to the glares being sent her way. “Axel, woke up!”

 

“I can see that,” he replied dryly, voice resembling a monotone.

 

She rolled her eyes as she peered around her friend. “Where'd Cid go?”

 

The brunet waved her off as he stepped into the room. “What you say to him, Yuffie? He looked spooked.”

 

“Nothing, I swear!” Yuffie protested, attempting to sound innocent. It didn't work so well for her, Axel noted with a faintly disguised chuckle.

 

Grey-blue eyes regarded her with disbelief before he slid his gaze towards Axel, who was still sitting on the bed. “How are you feeling?”

 

The former Nobody cracked his neck, slightly uneasy under that penetrating stare. He felt as if the other man was trying to peer right through him. “Alive, and that's all that matters.”

 

“You were covered in blood.”

 

“It wasn't my own.”

 

The man didn't even blink. He stood patiently in the center of the room, one hip cocked to the side with his arms crossed over his chest. “Ceran mentioned that,” he returned, giving off a distinct “take-no-shit” aura.

 

Axel smirked as he returned his intent look. A worthy adversary, he immediately liked this `Squeon'. It was rare that someone could keep up with him in an intellectual spar. Vincent was pretty good and Reno had been fun for a laugh but this man was inspiring. He had the feeling things were going to get pretty interesting.

 

“Is he gonna wake up?” Yuffie inserted, her eyes darting towards Vincent and interrupting the stare contest going on between Axel and Squall.

 

Axel turned towards his winged companion, noting vaguely that Vincent wasn't as dead to the world as he was pretending to be. “He didn't get to sleep til late,” the redhead explained. “I'll wake him.”

 

The brunet nodded, already turning on his heels. “You do that. Then join us downstairs for breakfast.” He headed towards the doors, boots clomping noisily on the floorboards. “Come, Yuffie.”

 

“Aww,” she pouted loudly but obeyed, her shoulders slumping visibly. Axel was amused and had to hold back a chuckle.

 

Once they were gone, Yuffie shutting the door behind them, Axel sighed and raked a hand through his hair. That had been more nerve-wracking than he thought it would be. “Why did you tell them your name was Ceran?” he asked, shifting his eyes back to Vincent.

 

The bed rustled as crimson eyes popped open. “To be honest, I don't know.”

 

Axel frowned. “You're being stupid,” he reprimanded, finally rising from the bed to cross the room to his own cot. He had spotted the pile of clothes stacked there earlier and could only assume that Cid and Yuffie had brought them in. “So that was Cid, huh?” he added, grabbing a plain t-shirt from the pile and selecting a larger one to toss to Vincent.

 

“Yes.” His tone was distinctly saddened as he caught the shirt with one claw, frowning at it disapprovingly.

 

The redhead pulled the shirt over his head, smoothing it down over his abdomen before staring at the rest of the pile. He considered pulling on the leather pants, but given that Mr. Fur was shorter than him by a good six inches, he decided that his sleeping flannels were a lot more comfortable. Screw whatever anyone had to say.

 

“I think he remembers something,” Axel continued as he moved towards the nightstand, fingering the blood-spattered sunglasses and the Oblivion keychain. “Or at least, his heart does. He reacted strangely when he saw us together.”

 

Vincent made a non-committal sound in his throat as his claws ripped out holes for his wings in the shirt. “Wishful thinking,” he murmured under his breath. “I've been forgotten and I have to accept it.”

 

Axel whirled, shooting him a hard stare. “You're not even going to try?” he insisted. “You're just going to let him go? What was all that bullshit about wanting to be back with him again?”

 

“Don't talk to me as if you know!” the winged man spat, jerking to his feet as he glared furiously. “You can't possibly even begin to under--”

 

Emerald eyes narrowed. “Maybe I can't,” Axel hissed, shoving the mementos into his pocket. “Maybe I can't understand why you'd want to abandon him once you found him again. Maybe I can't understand why you're so damn scared but I know that if it were me, I wouldn't be pussyfooting around if Roxas were this damned close to me, if he remembered or not.”

 

Vincent pursed his lips together, something flashing in his eyes that was eerily close to guilt before he whirled on his heels and headed for the door. He wasted no time in yanking it open and stalking out into the hallway, slamming it shut behind him. A stack of books lost their precarious balance and toppled over.

 

“Coward,” Axel muttered before raking a hand through his hair. He took a deep breath to clear the annoyance from his chest because he didn't feel guilty in the slightest. Vincent might have been a kickass fighter and a mature guy, but when it came down to it, he ran away from the stupidest things. And while Axel could understand why'd be hesitant considering the way he looked, he figured if Vincent loved Cid so damned much he would be a least willing to try.

 

At least Vincent didn't have blood staining his hands.

 

A few minutes later, significantly calmer with his stomach grumbling hungrily, Axel headed downstairs. He only faintly noticed that there were three other doors on the hall, all shut tightly. He had resisted the urge to poke nosily inside of them... for the time being anyways. He could hear the sounds of dishware clinking and the subtle hum of conversation as he descended the stairs, and winced when a loud creak announced his presence. The voices went silent.

 

It was at the bottom that an open doorway gave him view into a room where everyone was seated at a huge table. He recognized Cid and Squall sitting at opposite heads and Yuffie parked somewhere between them. Vincent was silently seated at Squall's right-hand side and a lovely, auburn-haired woman was currently setting out plates of food. All were looking up at him as he stood in the doorway, belly again rumbling at the smell of the food.

 

While he had loved Vincent's cooking, something told him that the food here wouldn't be quite so bland as what was available on Gaia's Grotto.

 

“Good morning, Axel!” The auburn-haired woman chirped sweetly, and he recognized her as the nice voice from his brief moment of delirium yesterday. She must have been the one with the kind touch. “Why don't you have a seat? The one next to Yuffie's empty.”

 

His eyes flickered to the exuberant dark-haired girl and inwardly, he sighed. “Okay,” he agreed, pulling back the wooden chair and frowning when it screeched loudly.

 

“We was just discussing how ya'll got here,” Cid inserted as the former Nobody lowered himself into his seat. “Ceran here wasn't really keen on explainin' last night.”

 

Grey-blue eyes shifted to the blond. “Cid, we had this discussion already.”

 

“Exactly!” the kind woman added, laying down the last plate before seating herself in the empty chair, right between Cid and Vincent. This left one more empty seat between Cid and Axel. “We didn't want to be rude and Axel did not look well at all.” It was then that everyone began to dive in with little ceremony, serving themselves the pancakes and eggs and bacon piled high on their respective dishes. “By the way, my name's Aeris.”

 

Her smile was big enough to light the world as she continued. “And you'll be able to meet Merlin later. I'm sure he knows more about everything than we do.”

 

There was a snort from across the table as Cid dropped a bunch of bacon onto his plate, but other than the rude noise, he didn't comment.

 

Squeon shot the blond a stare. “You said you were from a world called `Gaia's Grotto', yes?” he asked, turning his attention to the newcomers, as he poured a liberal amount of syrup onto his plate. Axel couldn't help but wonder if he wanted any pancake with his syrup because they were getting drenched. His stomach flip-flopped at the idea of all that sugar.

 

“Yes,” Vincent answered. “It is because of that world that our memory is rather lacking.” He paused, considering something as he poked at his food, not really interested in consuming it. “It is my hope that they will begin to return the longer we are gone.”

 

Yuffie sat forward in her chair, an eager look on her face. “So are you two together?” she asked. “You never told me earlier.”

 

Aeris pursed her lips disapprovingly. “Yuffie, that's not--”

 

“It's all right,” Axel inserted smoothly. “We aren't together. We're just friends.”

 

Cid's brows rose nearly to his hairline. “That's pretty close, even for friends,” he commented, a strange note to his voice. Axel almost thought he detected jealousy... or even curiosity that only served to prove to him that Cid remembered Vincent or at least something deep down.

 

“Yes,” Vincent responded, his voice sounding slightly strangled as his wings twitched behind him. “It is hard to explain to someone who has never been there.” He raised his gaze, crimson meeting sky blue and for a moment, something strange rippled across the table. It was hard to explain but Axel was certain that he felt it.

 

Even if everyone else was blind to it, he could not miss the longing and the love that echoed in Vincent's eyes. Which left him even more confused as to why he would lie to them and hide his identity. The wings and the alterations, they were just excuses as far as Axel was concerned.

 

Still, it made him think about his own heart and his own wants. He had left Gaia's Grotto because of Roxas, because he wanted to see his best friend again. But he was not so oblivious to be unaware of the fact that there was something deeper in his emotions, and he had feeling there always had been. He didn't want simple friendship from Roxas. He was convinced that something inside of him desired more. Perhaps even something as strong as what Vincent claimed he felt for Cid.

 

“...but in short, it was hell and we wanted to return to those we cared about. Axel is the one that made that possible.” Vincent's voice filtered through Axel's thoughts and he looked up at the mention of his name, finding that everyone was looking towards him expectantly. As if he had all the answers.

 

Rolling his eyes, Axel shot his companion a glare before he tried to catch onto the train of conversation. Something about escaping... “I used the portals of darkness,” he stated, hoping that's what was expected of him. “It was a risk and I could have killed us but when faced with living there, it was a chance we had to take.”

 

“Wow!” Yuffie exclaimed, her eyes shining. “That's so cool! So... who were you trying to get back to?”

 

Vincent's eyes locked on his plate immediately. “Someone very important to me.”

 

A hand patted the winged male's arm soothingly. “Someone you love?” questioned the kind-faced woman softly, her tone gentle.

 

Vincent nodded but didn't say anything further and feeling the sadness literally radiating from his friend in waves, Axel decided to step in. “And I'm looking for Sora. Ever heard of `im? He's a keyblade master.”

 

That certainly got a reaction.

Within seconds both Cid and Squeon had leapt to their feet, shooting him angry stares. Even Yuffie had her feathers ruffled as she scowled. “Just what do ya want with Sora?” she demanded.

 

Emerald eyes blinked at the sudden change in their demeanor. His fork paused halfway to his mouth.

 

“Answer her!” Squeon snarled, pounding a fist onto the table and disturbing the cups and silverware, nearly knocking over a pitcher of orange juice.

 

“That's my business,” Axel responded, staring coldly at the many pairs of eyes that were eying him with immediate suspicion and distrust. He calmly forked another scoop of bacon and eggs into his mouth despite the warning glances Vincent was directing his way.

 

Grey-blue eyes narrowed. “If you want Sora, then it's our business. We're not letting you anywhere near him.”

 

Axel rolled his eyes as he rose to his feet, calmly dusting toast crumbs from his hands. “Look, Mr. Fur, I don't want to hurt him, okay?” He laid his hand on the table as he leaned forward, locking eyes with Squeon. He was not intimidated in the slightest. “I just want to find him.”

 

“Why?” Cid grunted.

 

He slammed his palm on the table. “Because he's my only link to Roxas!” Axel declared, not caring how crazy he might have sounded. Certain realizations had been cropping up in his mind recently, mostly driven by his recent escape. “And outside of him, I don't care what happens.”

 

Silence fell across the table, quick and stifling at his declaration. Anger was blooming in some of their faces, concern in others, perhaps even a bit of sympathy, but in looking at them, Axel could tell that they would never understand. It was simply impossible and with just one look into their eyes, he also knew they would never tell him where Sora was. It was up to him to remember.

 

Gritting his teeth, Axel spun on his heels and stalked towards the hallway, breakfast weighing heavily in his belly. It was the reason he preferred to work alone, why he had always made his own plans and done his own work. He couldn't count on anyone and he wasn't even going to try. He would find Sora, without their help, and he would get Roxas back. Vincent had said there was a way and Axel was going to find it.

 

His feet took him to the front door and before he knew what he was doing, he was yanking it open and stepping outside, barefoot and all, directly into the brightest, most beautiful beam of sunlight he had ever seen. He blinked in the harsh, almost blinding light and paused, letting the door slam shut behind him. He soaked up the warmth that quickly suffused into his skin. It was almost as if he had never seen the sun in his life.

 

No rain, his mind reminded him. No rain and a beautiful blue sky with a few fluffy clouds passing by. There was color everywhere, people hurrying by with busy looks on their faces. Or contemplative. Or sad. Or angry. Or just so damn emotional that it gripped something inside of him. Before he knew it, he was gaping as if he had never seen civilization in his entire existence.

 

A breeze, light and carrying the scent of something fresh, he didn't know what, ruffled his hair. And though people were staring because he was standing in the middle of the street in his pajamas and gawking at everything around him, he found he didn't particularly care because he was free. Finally free. Why the idea hadn't struck him until that exact moment, he wasn't sure, but all the confusing, swirling, conflicting things that had been pounding at his brain up until just a few seconds before, suddenly flitted away.

 

He took a deep breath, just for the hell of it. The wind was sweet and fresh, and even slightly tepid. He wondered if there was any better feeling, or maybe he was just jaded from his time spent on Gaia's Grotto.

 

And it reminded him of something as well. Another warm day, another balmy breeze... waves lapping on a shore with a bright blue sky. But where was it? He wracked his brain, trying to place the memory when it suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks.

 

When he had kidnapped Kairi he had gone to Sora's home world to get her. Destiny's Island. That was the most likely place for him to find Sora; he was certain of it. The only problem that remained was getting there. He was loath to try the portals again. They had been lucky.

 

Then again, hadn't Vincent spoken of gummi ships when they were on Gaia's Grotto? Maybe he could find one of those in Radiant Garden.

 

“Well, it's a beautiful day, isn't it?”

 

Axel blinked when he nearly jumped out of his skin at the slightly raspy voice. He whirled to the side, finding a man dressed all in blue with a white beard that reached to the ground staring at him, head cocked to the side. He gaped at the huge, cone-like hat on his head and the stacks of books tucked under one arm. Who was this person?

 

The man nodded as if Axel had actually spoken. “Yes, it is.” He stuck out a hand as he took a step forward. “The name is Merlin. You must be one of those not-Heartless that Leon found in the market yesterday.”

 

Axel took his hand somewhat warily. “So that's his real name,” he commented, with a smirk. “I thought I was going to have to call him Squeon.”

 

The old man laughed at this, shaking Axel's hand vigorously. “That Yuffie.” He chuckled as he shook his head. “She just loves to tease Leon and he lets her. The man's a softie.”

 

The other man snorted. “Right. Gentle as a kitten,” Axel countered, thinking of the anger that had flared in grey-blue eyes the moment he mentioned Sora. “And a strange protective instinct for keyblade wielders.”

 

Merlin's blue eyes sparkled with amusement. “You must mean Sora and Riku then.”

 

Axel raised a brow. “What? No gasp? No threats to my well-being? I thought that was the standard around here anytime someone made mention of them.”

 

Merlin laughed again. “Yes, they are a bit overzealous of their heroes. But the boys are just boys and so Leon feels like an older brother to them, even to the point of protecting them.” He shifted the books in his hold before adjusting the glasses on his head. “They don't really need it, of course. But Leon is stubborn.”

 

“That much I got,” he replied dryly, finding that he rather liked this older man. Perhaps he could get the stranger on his side.

 

He tilted his head to the side. “So, they tell me you're from another world but my guess is...you're from several worlds.”

 

Axel blinked. “What?”

 

Merlin leaned in as if to speak conspiratorially. “Once a human, so you were originally born on another world before entering Twilight Town as a Nobody, yes? And then, you died and ended up in this place you call Gaia's Grotto. That's three worlds, no?”

 

“Did Ceran tell you I was a Nobody?” Axel asked, somewhat confused.

 

His eyes sparkled again. “He didn't have to, m'boy. I am Merlin. And why do you call him Ceran when that isn't his name?”

 

Feeling as if he were suddenly teeter-tottering, Axel blinked again. “I...” He frowned slightly. “How the hell do you know that? Do you remember him?”

 

Merlin laughed before stepping past him, heading towards the door of the house. Axel didn't know whom it belonged to. “Ah, but a magician never reveals his secrets,” he responded, wagging a finger at the younger boy as he pushed open the door. “Now, come. Let's see if we can soothe the ill tensions that are practically radiating from this house.”

 

Axel couldn't help but gape. The older man was like a train wreck and a bulldozer all in one. How he knew so much when he looked so... dumb was a mystery and he could swear that Merlin was giving him a knowing look. It was as if Merlin knew everything about Axel, including who he was before he became a Nobody. It was eerie and yet, he wasn't worried about it because Merlin seemed like a nice guy.

 

With nothing else to do but obey, Axel followed the man inside the house. As if he had telepathy or something, Merlin immediately led him into the dining room that Axel had stormed out of earlier, gleefully calling a greeting to whoever was within.

 

“Good morning, everyone!” he announced as he swept inside. His books clunked to the end of one table, rattling the dishware. “I brought something that I thought would be helpful.”

 

Yuffie raised a brow. “What? Axel?”

 

“No, my dear, but I did find him wandering around the front porch,” Merlin responded with a chuckle.

 

Axel stood silently in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. He noted that Leon was missing from the table, and through a doorway he could make out Aeris in the kitchen, standing at the sink. That left only Yuffie, Vincent, and Cid at the table and Vincent was doing a damn fine job of pretending that his lover was not sitting just one seat away from him. Che, the coward.

 

“How interesting!” Merlin suddenly exclaimed, grabbing Axel's attention. “These are a new addition.” He stepped around the table, suddenly rushing towards Vincent whose eyes were widening in shock at the invasion of his personal space. “Simply fascinating,” he added, running fingers along the edges of Vincent's wings.

 

Crimson eyes blinked. “Umm, thanks?” Vincent responded, it sounding more like a question. Axel couldn't help but chuckle at the other man's speechlessness.

 

Merlin nodded. “And claws as well? How did this happen to you, m'boy?”

 

Instantly, Vincent's gaze dropped to the table. “It's a long story.”

 

“Hmm, I'm sure it is.” Merlin patted him on the shoulder companionably before lowering himself into the empty seat between Vincent and Cid. “Luckily, there is plenty of time for you to tell me later, eh, Ceran?” He winked when he said the name, however, and Axel noticed Vincent's eyes widening in surprise.

 

He was certain that Merlin knew Vincent's true identity and was only humoring him. Sneaky bastard.

 

“Now, how about we all talk like civilized people, hmm?” Merlin suggested, waving Axel to one of the empty seats. “Instead of jumping down this boy's throat how about asking him nicely? And where's Leon? He needs to be here.”

Cid grunted. “In the shower.”

 

“We can make decisions without him,” Aeris announced, coming to stand in the doorway as she swiped a towel over a plate she held. She tilted her head towards the magician. “Go on, Merlin. We're listening.”

 

“I don't want you to listen to me, Aeris. I want you all to listen to these two men. They've been through a trial and right now, they could really use our help,” Merlin responded, gesturing with one hand first towards Vincent and then towards Axel. “Now, I know you all are protective of Sora, but I don't think they mean any harm.”

 

Aeris smiled sweetly. “You may be right, Merlin.” Her jade eyes found Axel and he was surprised at how much they eased him. “Would you be willing to tell us?”

 

While Cid seemed skeptical and was watching him with a strange look in his eyes, both females appeared pretty receptive. And Axel knew that Merlin was interested. So when the words came, to explain to them all that he had been through and what he was trying to accomplish, they flowed easier than he had expected.

 

He told them everything that he could. An abbreviated version of what happened to him while he was a Nobody. How he had only wanted to see his friend again but learned that in the end, it might have been impossible. His death and his arrival in Gaia's Grotto. Then meeting Ceran and their attempts to escape, followed by Reno's death and their escape.

 

They listened with widened eyes and surprised expressions. Axel left out specific names concerning Vincent since the winged man seemed so inclined to keep his secrets, but freely gave out his own information. And when he was finished, Aeris was giving him a sympathetic look while Yuffie was fascinated. Merlin seemed strangely contemplative and Axel wasn't sure how to describe the look on Cid's face. But he did know that sky blue eyes had been surreptitiously darting towards Vincent during his entire explanation.

 

It only proved to him further that some part of the blond remembered something.

 

“And now I'm here, getting suspicious stares from you guys because I want to find Sora,” Axel finished, waving a hand to encompass all those seated at the table.

 

“When you find him,” a voice announced from behind where Axel was seated. “What do you plan on doing? I didn't think anything could separate a Nobody once he's been rejoined... unless you turn Sora into a heartless which I won't allow.”

 

Axel snorted as he looked over his shoulder with one eye, finding Leon leaning casually in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest as wet strands of hair brushed his shoulders. Grey-blue eyes were hard and slightly suspicious as Leon's lips formed a thin line. Axel wasn't sure how long the man had been standing there.

 

“So nice of you to join us,” Axel replied snarkily. “We were missing your rude opinions.”

 

Crimson eyes whipped across the table and the former Nobody could practically feel them glaring into the back of his head, but he didn't particularly care. Leon had started it.

 

The two men, redhead and brunet, locked stares for a moment, invoking a silent battle in which sparks could practically be seen flying between them.

 

Aeris clucked her tongue as she rolled her eyes. “Now boys,” she began reprimanding. “There's no reason to fight.”

 

“Aeris--” Leon began, but she cut him off just as quickly with a firm shake of her head.

 

“I said not another word, Leon,” she insisted before waving her plate-wielding hand at the brunet. “Now sit down and be more polite.”

 

At his stricken expression, Axel couldn't help but snicker, his shoulders shaking slightly. Immediately, jade eyes turned his direction, flashing fire at him. “Don't you start, Axel,” she warned him, flapping her drying towel at him. “You're being equally rude. Now answer the question but without the sarcasm.”

 

All laughter died in Axel's throat as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat, for some reason feeling inexplicably frightened.

 

Merlin chuckled just then, clapping Vincent a bit too strongly on the back. “Ah, the vigor of youth and the danger of an angry woman,” he remarked before turning his gaze on Axel. “Now tell me lad, just how did you expect to rescue your dear Roxas?”

 

To his horror, a flush rose in his cheeks at Merlin's words. His `dear Roxas'? Who the hell talked like that?

 

“It was my idea,” Vincent cut-in quietly. “I had once heard of a method, a keyblade to be more precise, with the ability to... create those that are in-between.” Axel began to sit forward at that point, eager to hear what Vincent had never explained to him before. “Or separate them, if they so chose.”

 

Yuffie tilted her head to the side. “I'm confused.”

 

“What you are describing is impossible,” Leon added, sitting more comfortably in his chair. “There are only two types of keyblades, one of the dark realm, and one of the light.”

 

Crimson eyes were steady. “That is something only the naive would say. Then the world is made of only dark and light, good and evil? There are no grey areas?” Vincent pointed out, despite the darkening of Leon's features. He was glowering. “Whether or not the method will work, I do not know. But I do know that there are such things as other keyblades, most notably, dawn and twilight. We are seeking the dawn.”

 

“How do ya know so much?” Cid demanded, suddenly deciding to cut into the conversation.

 

For the first time, Axel noticed a slight faltering in Vincent's expression. His eyes ducked down to the table. “That is my own knowledge that I will keep,” he explained softly. “Suffice to say that I was privy to much of Ansem's work, as well as the scientist that first introduced such work to him.”

 

“Well, that's all well and good,” interjected Leon. “But what do you plan to do from here?”

 

Axel rolled his eyes. “I don't need your help to find Sora. I know where he is. What I do need is a means to get to him.” He snapped his fingers, idly playing with a flame that danced on the tips of his digits. “Like a gummi ship or something similar, right, Vi--Ceran?” He nearly smacked himself in the head for that slip-up because even though he thought Vincent was being stupid, he wasn't going to go against what Vincent wanted because he owed him.

 

The winged man nodded slightly, gaze still locked on the table.

 

“Ya want me to lend ya one of my damn ships?” Cid asked incredulously. “I don't even know you!”

 

Axel didn't miss Vincent's wince either. “I don't want you to fuckin' do anything,” he growled, angered by the hurt in his friend's expression, even if the blond hadn't known what he meant. “I'm not going to ask for your help if this is what I have to put up with. We're better off on our own.” He jerked to his feet, slamming a fist on the table.

 

“Axel.”

 

He whirled on his companion. “What?” the former Nobody snarled.

 

“Sit down.”

 

Axel clenched his teeth, narrowing his eyes at the winged man. He thought to retort, it was on the tip of his tongue but Leon's words interrupted him.

 

“Look,” Leon began, emitting an aggravated sigh. “You can stay here and we'll help as best as we can. But it is entirely up to Cid what he does with his ships.”

 

“Damn right,” the blond muttered as he rose to his feet.

 

Aeris sighed. “Cid...”

 

But he merely shook his head. “Ain't gonna work on me, Aeris. I'll be at the shop,” he muttered before striding from the room without a backwards glance. The sound of the front door slamming shut echoed seconds later.

 

“He's actin' weird!” Yuffie commented, wrinkling her nose. “I mean, he's usually a grouchy old man but he's worse than usual.”

 

Aeris hummed in agreement. “I wonder why.”

 

“These are very interesting occurrences,” Merlin cut in, musing thoughtfully to himself. “You two must explain more to me.”

 

“And the gummi ship?” Axel asked.

 

“I'll talk to him,” Aeris offered. “Maybe he'll change his mind.”

 

Leon snorted. “Doubt it. He's a stubborn man.”

 

Axel had the sneaky and worrisome suspicion that Leon was right.

 

- - - - -