Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Desperate Reflections ❯ Chapter 13: Empty Hands ( Chapter 18 )

Chapter 13: Empty Hands

 

The heavy knocking woke him up first thing in the morning. It was a loud, rapid, and annoying beat that reverberated all too painfully in Axel's head. He groaned as he rolled over in the bed and out of the direct glare of the sunlight as it shone on his face. He had forgotten to close the blinds last night it seemed. And he was certain that it was far too early to be awake anyways.

 

He had spent most of the night tossing and turning, worrying himself over what Sora would choose to do. As a result, the sheets were rumpled and twisted and he had accomplished barely any rest. He was certain there were bags under his eyes and his head pounded from the lack of rest.

 

What little sleep he did manage to catch was fraught with nightmares, or more accurately memories of his own failings. They replayed over and over in his mind, as if some sort of punishment. Everything was so clear, the smells and the sights and the sounds. A gasped breath and the sharp, acrid odor of freshly spilled blood. He could see the rising ashes of each defeated memory beast. He could see the splash of the last of Reno's life as it sprayed into the air.

 

He relived that moment countless times, like a record player stuck on a crack. It would stop, pause, rewind, and replay until he memorized every little detail, until it was ingrained on his heart. The guilt settled in, taking up residence and he couldn't fight down the urge to weep. He had been so stupid and yet, he hadn't paid the price. He couldn't help but wonder if it was even right of him to find his happiness when he had so blatantly robbed it from someone else.

 

Not when he had blood staining his hands. It didn't help that when he looked down, they weren't as clean as he would have liked. And no amount of scrubbing could wash them of their taint either. Axel wasn't normally one to dwell on his mistakes or his past or his failings, but there were times that it all built up inside of him, caught up with whatever was going on in the present. As he worried over whether or not he had done too much shit to be worthy of the good stuff, all the terrible things he had done reminded him of his undeserved existence.

 

He had no right, no right, to desperately seek happiness. One by one, he had manipulated, played with emotion and turned them on each other. They had been like playing cards, and he held the deck in his hand, smirking as he dealt them out the final blow. His companions, those he dared call allies... he`d had no emotions and no morals. Axel didn't even know if he truly felt regret for his mistakes. There was too much emotion, too much feeling. He couldn't handle it.

 

Everything knocking around inside of him, his past mistakes stuck on automatic repeat. He felt like the blood stench would never leave his nostrils and he would be forever dreaming of leaving crimson stains wherever he walked. He had held no allegiance except to himself and what had it been for? In the end, nothing at all.

 

The knocks echoed again, louder this time and even more determined. Groaning, Axel lazily rolled off the bed, his head swooning from the rapid position change, before he staggered towards the door. Dreams lingered at the back of his conscious, making his entire self ache. One of his hands swiped at his eyes, trying to clear his blearily, sleep-fogged vision as he blindly reached for the handle. He fumbled a few times, making the knob jiggle, before he finally remembered how to turn it and opened the door.

 

He stared into not one, but two faces, only one of which he vaguely recognized. It really was too early for thinking. He was forced to lean against the door to remain in an upright position, only half-aware that he was wearing a pair of boxers and little else. Oh well, if they woke him up this damn early, they deserved the show.

 

“Wha' do you want?” he growled, or at least tried to. It came out more of a sleepy drawl as he yawned, belatedly attempting to cover his mouth with a free hand and failing miserably.

 

Crimson eyes regarded him intently. “Well, aren't you a burst of merry sunshine this morning,” Vincent remarked dryly. “You look like shit.”

 

Axel scowled, managing to somewhat focus on his winged friend. “Thanks for the compliment,” he muttered, dropping his hand from the door frame as he turned away from his visitors, determined to drop back down onto his bed. Another vicious yawn attacked him.

 

“You're gettin' a bit like Vince there, Axel,” another voice commented, one that the firestarter belatedly recognized as Cid. “Lookin' a bit broody.”

 

The former Nobody snorted as he flopped down onto the bed face first. He sprawled across the comforter as he responded, his voice muffled by all the fabric. “Hardy, har, har,” he replied sarcastically as he pulled his pillow over his head. “You're just a bundle of laughs, old man.” He shifted on the bed, his entire body feeling weighted down and tired. He didn't have the urge to do much of anything at the moment, other than return to sleep.

 

Behind him and outside his line of sight, someone sighed. Axel assumed it to be Vincent. After all, it sounded like an exasperated Vincent sigh. He was getting pretty good at interpreting the man's nonverbal cues, it seemed.

 

“And I thought my pity parties were bad,” Vincent replied, chuckling softly. Axel heard footsteps on the floor, heading his direction moments before the pillow was grabbed off his head and tossed away somewhere. “Now get up and quit moping around,” Vincent ordered as Axel let out a sound of protest from the loss of his cover.

 

The firestarter curled further into his nest of blankets, quite aware that he was probably acting much like a child. It was his right. Vincent had lounged around for the better part of the month, languishing in despair. Now it was Axel's turn. Besides, what good was it to have emotions if he didn't get to experience every one of them?

 

“Give me one good reason,” Axel muttered, flailing about blindly with one hand to get his pillow back before giving up and letting it flop down to the covers.

 

There was another chuckle behind him. This one he was certain was Cid. “You really are a brat,” the blond commented with a snort. “How about this then? Sora and Riku are waiting downstairs for you to get your sorry ass out of bed.”

 

His interest piqued, but only slightly since he didn't want to be set up for another disappointment, the firestarter barely stirred on the bed. He turned his head and cracked open one emerald eye, regarding Vincent suspiciously. If karma were real, by all accounts Axel should have been tortured and stabbed through the heart by Roxas himself. It would have been the least he deserved.

 

“Why?” he asked dully. “Someone want to storm out of the room again? Seems a lot of that's going on lately.” He slid his eye closed again, turning his head away from the winged male and heaving an exasperated sigh.

 

There was silence for a moment. Cid muttered a curse, more to himself than any real comment as the sound of a toothpick being chewed in half echoed in the stillness. A flutter of webbed appendages and whispered conversation, then boots across the floor followed by the sound of his door opening and closing with a quiet click. If he didn't know Vincent better, he would assume he had been left alone. But alas, that was not the case.

 

“Axel,” Vincent began, his tone commanding and curious both. How the other man managed that was beyond the firestarter's understanding. “Why are you doing this?”

 

“Doing what?” came the muffled reply. The tone was dangerously close to boredom. Unfortunately, Axel did not pull off nonchalant as well as he had hoped.

 

There was a screech as Vincent pulled up the chair, lowering himself into it with a quiet squeak of the wood. “Riku and Sora are downstairs,” he repeated. “And yet you are moping up here. Have I been wrong then? Roxas meant that little to you?”

 

That deserved a straight glare. Axel raised his head and stared ocular, jade fire at the man who could probably be considered his closest friend outside of Roxas. He opened his mouth to respond bitingly, but Vincent quickly interjected.

 

“Then why, Axel? I'm having trouble understanding this.”

 

Another moment of silence passed before Axel sighed and sat up on the bed, shoving back strands of crimson hair out of his face. “It's complicated,” he mumbled, having the strange and uncomfortable realization that he might just be pouting... which was cute on Roxas but quite pathetic on himself.

 

“When is it not?” Vincent replied dryly. “Not once but twice dead, given more chances to live than seems fair...”

 

Axel nodded but only half-heartedly. “Yeah, something like that.” He shifted position, pulling his knees up to his chest and draping his arms over them. “You never asked me about before.” Vincent remained silent, waiting for the former Nobody to continue on his own. Axel sighed again. “They're right about me, you know. Riku and Sora.”

 

Vincent's brow furrowed, having some difficulty following the conversation. “What?”

 

“I don't deserve this,” Axel clarified, waving a loose hand around the room to signify everything, as though that made it all the more clearer. He realized he was babbling, but he didn't quite know how else to put it. “In the past, I wasn't anything close to a good guy.” He paused and frowned, able to recall with perfect clarity what he had done.

 

Zexion and Vexen, one had died by his own hand, the other by his own manipulation. It had been nothing for him to turn his fire on the Chilly Academic. He had smirked at Zexion's demise, easily pulling the strings of the Repliku's unstable mind. It had been his meddling that turned Sora on Marluxia, shattering the Graceful Assassin's plans like glass. And if he hadn't been stopped, he would have killed Sora in an instant, just to have Roxas back.

 

Axel was no better than Xemnas and Saix... probably worse.

 

“What are you talking about?” Vincent demanded, breaking into Axel's guilty recollections.

 

Emerald eyes rose, regret shimmering in the verdant orbs. “You would hate me if I told you.” A bitter laugh escaped the former Nobody's lips, sounding harsh in the morning calm. He shook his head as he added, “but probably no more than I hate myself.”

 

Silence descended on the small room, though the noises of people moving around faintly came up through the floorboard. And outside, a bird chirped noisily, proving that the world did in fact move on, even if Axel himself felt as if it should stop at that very moment.

 

In the grand scheme of things, he wasn't really that important, was he? So why should his actions matter? Had he regretted them at the time? No. Why had he done it? Not even he was sure he understood the answers himself. He had always done what he wanted regardless of what was asked of him. He had his own plans, his own methods and manipulations. Perhaps it was because Vexen annoyed him, maybe he was just trying to protect Sora... it might even have been that he just didn't like the Organization and was trying to be a thorn in its side.

 

He had wanted his heart back, he had once believed in all that Xemnas had offered him on that day he was found in the drizzling, dark alley. But somewhere along the way, he stopped hoping with his fake hope, and stopped dreaming with his fake heart. They were Nobodies, they could imitate emotion but they never actually felt it. And he had long suspected there was more to Kingdom Hearts and Xemnas' plan than just the restoration of their hearts.

 

Maybe somewhere in all his scattered thoughts and memories was an answer but one thing remained startling clear, Axel wasn't the sort to care much for others. Except for Roxas. He had always been the exception.

 

“I know you may not believe it know,” Vincent began quietly, disturbing Axel from his morose and wandering thoughts, “but everyone has secrets, Axel. Things that they regret doing, or things that we thought were right at the time, heavy nails in our heart that can never be removed.” He paused, crimson eyes feeling as if they were boring into Axel's soul. “And maybe you don't deserve it... maybe you don't deserve anything, but doesn't that mean you should fight all the harder to keep it? To eventually prove your worth?”

 

Axel blinked, somewhat skeptical. Vincent's words rang true but... it wasn't as if he could merely push aside the truth of the matter on a whim. This wasn't something that could go away with a few sudden realizations and it certainly wouldn't make the nightmares cease.

 

Sighing softly to himself, Vincent continued, “Even if you don't believe yourself worthy, don't you think Roxas still deserves his chance to choose?” His voice lowered as he dropped his gaze to the ground, shifting slightly as if uncomfortable. “Don't make the same mistake as me and try to choose for him. I almost lost Cid because of that.”

 

It made perfect sense and Axel belatedly realized what he had inadvertently done, nearly the same exact mistake as Vincent. His reluctance to accept the chance and reveal his identity because of past mistakes had very nearly resulted in losing Cid forever. If not for Axel being his usual self, their chance would have been wasted.

 

A smirk found its way to Axel's face. He couldn't help it; it was in his nature to poke and prod at sore spots. “I think your stupidity rubbed off on me,” he commented, the mischievous glint returning to his eyes. “I nearly made your mistake.

 

Vincent glared. “Cid is right. You are a brat.” He rose from the chair, wings rustling as they stretched before settling back into place. “Maybe next time I won't offer you any advice.”

 

“You know you love me,” Axel countered as he languidly unfolded himself and swung his legs over the side of the bed. “Besides, it's in your nature to poke your nose in my business.”

 

The winged male sighed and shook his head. “Only because you cannot handle it yourself.” He turned towards the other bed, rifling through piles of clothes that Yuffie and Aeris had dumped there when Axel and Vincent first showed up. They were cast-offs from Leon and Cloud both, but at least the firestarter wouldn't be forced to wear the same outfit everyday.

 

Vincent pulled out a pair of jeans and a tank top, vaguely matching, and tossed them at his younger friend. “Now, come downstairs before Riku changes his mind.”

 

Axel caught the tossed items effortlessly, already sliding the tank over his shoulder. “Yes sir,” he replied, rolling his eyes, but Vincent was already heading out the door. He didn't fail to miss the slight smile on the other man's face though. He was happy that Axel was no longer sulking.

 

Truthfully, everything wasn't all right. His words didn't magically erase Axel's guilt or his confusion. His words didn't make the world sunshine and flowers. But they were excellent motivators, enough to encourage him to at least get out of bed and move on with the day.

 

A few minutes later found Axel heading downstairs, fully dressed and hiding a yawn behind his hand. He scrubbed at his eyes to force himself to wake up, realizing he looked a bit like shit warmed over... twice. He felt it, too, but wasn't willing to let Riku change his mind, if indeed he had decided to help Axel.

 

Everyone was waiting in the dining room as usual, it seemed to be the prime meeting place. And when he appeared in the doorway, the low murmur of conversation completely ceased, and eight pairs of eyes looked at him.

 

“You look like shit,” Leon commented from where he stood, leaning against the wall with arms crossed over his chest. It was a typical, nonchalant position for him.

 

Axel waved a hand of dismissal. “Yeah, that's been established already, emo boy. Something else obvious you want to point out?”

 

“That's quite enough,” Aeris inserted sharply, glaring at both men with enough force to cause them to clamp their mouths shut. “This isn't the time for fighting and besides, everyone knows you two are friends anyways so shut it.”

 

Leon opened his mouth to argue, but another firm look from the redhead and he fell silent, slumping sulkily against the wall. Axel had the graces to look smug, though he didn't care much for being called that man's friend.

 

“I agree,” Merlin quickly replied, well aware that an argument of some kind was likely brewing. He shifted where he sat, at the table with papers, charts, and graphs lay out in front of them. He appeared to be perusing the documents thoughtfully. “After all, time grows short.”

 

Vincent frowned. “What do you mean?” he asked as Axel stepped inside the room and chose a spot against the wall, refusing to look at anyone. Instead, he twirled a chakram on one finger, occasionally sending spurts of fire to dance on the rim. It was childish, but a part of him feared looking at Riku and Sora; he didn't want to see the apology in their faces.

 

“It's in the damn research,” Cid replied, chomping noisily on a toothpick. He gestured towards the papers in front of the magician. “It takes time for the two to bond fully but once it does, to separate them again creates an entirely new Nobody.”

 

“In other words, Roxas will cease to exist... forever,” Aeris finished quietly.

 

There was a quiet ping and a clatter as Axel's fingers missed the next twirl and his chakram tumbled to the floor. He didn't even notice when he subtly dismissed it. “What?” he asked, far louder than he had intended. Could that have been why he felt the urge to rush, as if time was slipping through his fingers?

 

Merlin's eyes were sympathetic. “It depends entirely on the Nobody, of course, how long precisely it takes... some more than others. But Sora has already expressed that he's felt Roxas less and less lately.”

 

Emerald eyes slid to Sora in confirmation, the keyblader nodding his response. Axel slumped against the wall. “How long?” What if it was already too late? What if this method failed and he only had twenty-four hours to find a new answer? The questions whirled about in his brain, cycling over and over in a never-ending demand for answers. Yet, he could only voice the one, slipping strangled past his lips.

 

Sora shook his head, shrugging. “I don't know. A month, maybe? I can't even hear his voice anymore and the weird dreams have stopped.”

 

Beside him, Riku stirred as if he finally found cause to pay attention to the conversation. Maybe he was sulking, Axel wasn't quite sure. “Dreams,” he repeated, sounding a bit confused. “This is the first I've heard of dreams.”

 

Sora turned towards him, but before he could respond, Yuffie's voice rose above all the others. “Which means we shouldn't waste time talking!” she interjected, rising to her feet and sending her chair careening backwards into a wall. Leon winced as a sharp crack filled the air, yet the ninja didn't seem to notice, blithely continuing, “Riku and Sora said they'd do it.... so let's do it!” She finished, pumping a fist into the air and cheering loudly. The fact that no one joined her liveliness didn't seem to bother her in the slightest.

 

Aeris, however, smiled. “I agree, Yuffie, though here is probably not the best place. We don't know what kind of power we're dealing with.”

 

She had a point, Axel conceded. The keyblade was one of the strongest weapons in existence and when used deliberately, could invoke a power none of them had even seen before. A lot of its properties still seemed to be unknown, if the research was to be believed at least. Not even the owners knew their full potential. Still, a surge of hope threatened to rise in Axel. The boy heroes had agreed... now all that was left was to try.

 

“.... would be the canyon,” Leon was saying as Axel returned his attentions to the conversation. He gestured with one hand in the vague direction of Hollow Bastion. “Nothing is out there but some remnant Heartless that have been hiding.” Stormy eyes flickered over those gathered. “That is... if we are all still going through with this.”

 

When no one objected, Leon nodded. “Good. Let's go.”

 

- - - - -

 

For all the heat of the summer sun, it was strangely chilly in the canyon. Of course, the tension ratcheting up around them might have also had something to do with it. Axel shivered slightly as he shifted position, everything inside of him feeling as if it were coiled in knots with anticipation and worry. It didn't help that Riku had the look on his face that expressed he felt the same way.

 

The three of them, himself and the two keybladers, were inside a barrier set up by Aeris and Merlin, in hopes to contain whatever sort of power might explode. The others - Yuffie, Vincent and Leon - were observers on the outside, waiting to see what would happen.

 

“Are you ready?” Riku asked, a strange note to his voice. He stood facing Sora, a good eight feet of distance between them. Axel was just behind Riku, arms crossed over his chest.

 

Sora nodded, his face set with determination. “Yeah, Riku. I've made my decision.”

 

The silver-haired boy took a deep breath. “Okay,” he replied quietly, somewhat nervous. “Here goes nothing.”

 

Riku thrust his hand out to the side, fingers tingling as he summoned his keyblade. Axel watched in fascination as the Way to the Dawn materialized in a sparkle of dark tendrils, quite the contrast. The boy's fingers wrapped around the hilt, gripping it a bit too tightly. He swung the blade towards Sora, only to gasp softly, Leon's sharp hearing catching the sound.

 

“What is it?” the stormy-eyed man questioned, sounding somewhat anxious. He shifted position where he stood outside the barrier, obviously wishing to be within it. Axel was sure he felt quite helpless on the exterior and it made him wonder why Leon was so desperate to protect the keybladers. Did it have something to do with Cloud? Or the reason that everyone couldn't decide whether to call him Leon or Squall?

 

Riku shook his head, raising aquamarine eyes to his lover. “I can feel it,” he answered, voice barely above a whisper. “The pulse of two hearts, one fainter than the other, but both there.”

 

“That is good,” Merlin commented, nodding his head in affirmation. “That means not only is Roxas still present, but he can be extracted. Now's the perfect time, Riku.”

 

Obviously reluctant, Riku lifted his shoulders before squaring his stance. The keyblade raised to the air, poised before Sora and Axel held his breath. Ocean blue eyes full of trust gazed continuously at Riku as Sora gave one final nod of agreement. Riku swallowed thickly, loud enough for Axel to hear before he jerked his blade forward, burying the tip of Way to the Dawn deeply in Sora's chest.

 

The brunette jerked, a gasp falling from his lips as his eyes widened, but he managed to remain standing. The keyblade took on a dim, purplish-onyx glow as Sora's name popped out of Riku's mouth, the tone both surprised and concerned. And then Axel felt it, the sudden surge of power rippling through the air that was strong enough to cause him to release the air he had been holding.

 

It expelled in a breathy whoosh at the same moment that the Way to the Dawn seemed to pulse in Riku's grip and Sora's entire body jolted again. He took one step backwards, before crumpling forward, forcing Riku's keyblade from his chest and wrapping his arms around his waist. His lips parted, emitting a silent scream before what appeared to be the same colored light as before began streaming out from behind his body.

 

Roxas began to take form, indistinct and hazy, with eyes closed as if merely contemplating. He wasn't even substantial; yet, Axel dared to hope. For all of a second, those eyes popped open, the ones that had been his lifeline while stuck on Gaia's Grotto and they locked onto Axel, causing a shiver to spread throughout his entire body.

 

He took an unconscious step forward, hand raised as if to touch the boy he was certain he loved, if he held true understanding of the word. Yet, before his fingers could even grasp a tendril, Roxas began to dissolve into nothing, dying and withering away like a pure Nobody would. It was as they had expected but that didn't make it any easier for Axel to bear. It was like saying goodbye all over again.

 

Sora collapsed to his knees and Roxas was gone, nothing but a faint imprint on Axel's eyelids. Still, the firestarter didn't move, not even with Riku ran forward, concern etched into his features. Emerald eyes continued to stare at the empty spot where Roxas had once stood, as if believing if he stood there long enough, somehow it would make the blond mysteriously return.

 

“Sora? Sora!”

 

“It's all right, Riku! He's only unconscious.”

 

“You did fine. Don't worry. He'll be just fine.”

 

Words washed over his consciousness, mechanically registered but little else occurring. A strange feeling of deja vu attacked Axel, as if he were experiencing Roxas walk away all over again. It wasn't really the same circumstances, but for some reason, it felt the same to him. Something hot prickled at the back of his eyeballs... even if he knew that Roxas was going to be reborn.

 

Suddenly, he felt a presence at his side and a hand on his arm. He blinked in surprise, looking up to find Vincent standing directly beside him. There was a curious expression in those crimson eyes, one that Axel had seen before but never could interpret.

 

The winged male nodded. “Let's go,” Vincent suggested quietly. “Roxas is waiting.”

 

Axel nodded almost mechanically, glad that someone had retained their senses. He glanced around the canyon, finding that Riku was preoccupied with Sora. The words for gratitude were on his lips and he vowed to say them later, but at the moment, there were more pressing matters. He hurried after Vincent, ignoring the others, as the other male headed for the gummi ship docks.

 

Cid was waiting for them there, with a ship that he had been tuning up since the night before. And from that morning on, he had been making last minute calibrations as well as programming the new coordinates into the navigational system. They hadn't wanted to take any of the others with them. Vincent was uncertain what effect Gaia's Grotto would have on someone who wasn't originally a resident of the world. He worried for their memories.

 

Even as they hurried through the outer rim of the town, wasting no time in their quick trip to the docks, Axel couldn't help the feeling as if he were walking in a dream. Everything felt so surreal, as if he were expecting to wake up at any moment. It seemed too easy, for everything to go so perfectly.

 

Then again, there was no guarantee that Roxas was at Gaia's Grotto. Even the research claimed that it could take months before he would arrive. It was different for each person. Axel had figured out that it had taken him a year to appear. Vincent had claimed his was five weeks.

 

“I can guess by the looks on yer faces, it worked,” Cid's voice commented, disturbing Axel from his thoughts. The firestarter blinked away the almost nervous daze he was in to find himself standing in the gummi ship hangar next to Vincent. “I only wish I could go with ya.”

 

Vincent shook his head. “I won't risk it. We'll be fine so don't worry.”

 

“Can't help it,” the blond replied with a shrug. “You're the type that causes a guy to worry. No sacrifices, okay?” he added, reaching up and removing his tags from around his neck. He moved to slide them around Vincent, the chains clanging softly in the nervous air as his fingers brushed across Vincent's neck and lingered soothingly. “And no forgetting, either.”

 

The winged male nodded, swallowing thickly. “Promise,” he said softly, dipping his head to accept the tags.

 

They would be a constant reminder, just as Axel kept the Oblivion chain in his pocket. He even brought Reno's sunglasses and they were currently propped in his hair, just as the redhead had always worn them. If Gaia's Grotto tried to pull them back in, it would have a hard time of doing it. Both men were making certain of that.

 

“Good.” Cid jerked a thumb towards one of his gummi ships, a sleek and shining thing that looked as if it was brand-new. “I've got the Highwind all prepped for you. It's the fastest one I have so take care of her.”

 

Vincent smiled. “Knew I could count on you, chief,” he said before gesturing towards Axel. “We haven't any time to waste.”

 

“Good luck!” Cid called to them as they climbed aboard. Even Axel could hear the worry in his tone so he couldn't resist a friendly jab,

 

“With this skill, we won't need it!” he boasted loudly, a short chuckle escaping his lips as Cid blustered and spluttered. The door to the gummi ship slid closed without him able to make even the smallest retort.

 

Inside, Vincent slid into the pilot's seat with his usual grace, wings resettling to resituate themselves in the somewhat cramped confines. Really, the ship was so small Axel was certain they could not have brought anyone else except maybe Yuffie. She could probably fit in all sorts of tiny spaces, that damned thief. She had tried to pilfer him on a few occasions.

 

Axel plopped himself down into the other seat opposite Vincent as the other male began flipping switches and gadgets that the firestarter couldn't even begin to contemplate. “I'm impressed,” Axel remarked. “You can fly these things?”

 

He was met with a scowl. “It's not that hard,” Vincent responded shortly, flicking another switch and causing the entire gummi ship to shudder as it powered up. “I'm sure you could do it if you tried.”

 

The grin tried to split his face. “Oooh, let me fly it then,” Axel pressed, already reaching for the wheel in front of him.

 

Until a clawed hand rapidly shot out and cut him off before he could even so much as touch the damned thing. “No,” Vincent stated simply, shooting Axel a firm stare.

 

“Why not?” He wasn't pouting. Nope, that was not him pouting.

 

The winged male sighed. “I'll show you some other day, Axel. Now we have more important matters.” He removed his hand from in front of the younger male and placed his fingers on the console, clawed digits easily sliding into steering grooves. The ship literally hummed around them as if feeling the same flurry of excitement and anxiety of its passengers.

 

“When we get there, we have to first check the system to see if he has arrived yet. If not, then its patrolling the Forgotten Plains. I don't know--”

 

“--how long it will take, I know,” Axel quickly cut in. “We've gone over this before.” He waved a hand of dismissal, sitting back comfortably in his seat. He wasn't sure how to trust Vincent's driving. “I'll wait there however long it takes.”

 

Vincent eyed him thoughtfully before his fingers twitched on the controls. “Are you ready?”

 

A cocky grin spread across the former Nobody's face. “Just go, vampy,” Axel teased, the strange feeling that they had to hurry again attacking him. At this point, he had begun to trust his instincts. Somehow, he just knew that Roxas was already there and waiting. He couldn't explain it... he just knew.

 

Vincent breathed a heavy sigh in slight exasperation, rolling his eyes. “Some days I wonder why I put up with you,” he replied with a scowl before quickly causing the ship to rise into the air, the Highwind shuddering slightly.

 

The firestarter felt a treble of excitement run through his body. “I'm coming, Roxas,” he murmured more to himself than to Vincent. “I'm coming.”

 

- - - - -

 

They arrived in Gaia's Grotto at what would have been twilight, if the daylight ever changed in the world. It was raining as usual, hard and heavy droplets that splattered noisily against the windshield of the Highwind. Axel and Vincent exited the gummi ship and landed in a noisy squelch on the grass of the Forgotten Plains, which looked, for the most part, deserted.

 

“Try not to kill anyone,” Vincent suggested, clawed hand reaching for his gun and automatically checking to make sure it was loaded.

 

Axel twirled a chakram on his finger. “I'm not making any promises,” he responded as they started forward, heading immediately for the huge, dark gates looming just beyond them. Vincent had landed as close to the gates as possible, to shorten the amount of walking time.

 

The gates were wide open, the two guards standing at the aperture asleep on their feet as Reno was prone to doing. Axel felt a twinge of regret the moment he saw them, but was glad for the opportunity to slip by without having to hurt anyone. He would resort to force if necessary but was loathe to actually killing any of the residents.

 

They managed to sneak by those guards without a problem, slipping into the gatehouse with nary a problem. Vincent seemed concerned by this, his forehead pinched with worry and a frown pulling at his lips. “I suspected more difficulty,” he commented quietly as they passed down the silent corridors. “Considering your explosion of power and us disappearing in front of dozens, I would have thought security would tighten.”

 

Axel shrugged. “Why would it? You think they'd expect us to come back?”

 

“No, I suppose not.”

 

Vincent stopped at the first doorway and tested the handle. It slid open with nary a creak and the dark-haired man peered inside, finding the room to be completely deserted. He gestured for Axel to follow him and the two slid inside, closing the door behind them and throwing the lock so that they would have some warning should an attack commence.

 

Inside, Axel allowed himself a brief sigh of relief. Despite the fact that they were at Gaia's Grotto and he could already feeling the subtle tugging at his emotions and memories, he knew he was that much closer to Roxas. He watched as Vincent sat down at one of the many consoles in the room, sliding his wrist under the scanner.

 

The computer beeped and trilled before the monitor blinked into life, bringing up a scrolling screen of some sort of language the firestarter did not recognize. Curious, he moved to stand at Vincent's shoulder, ever mindful of his wings. He peered over the other man at the screen.

 

“What is it?” he asked, slightly fascinated. As a Guardian, he never had to take part in any of the computer work. Nor did he have any use for learning any of the different languages that were spoken on Gaia's Grotto. Other than the universal tongue, there were a few that he had not known... residents from worlds that didn't seem to know common.

 

Clawed fingers began clicking over the keyboard, opening and closing windows on the monitor faster than Axel could even contemplate them. “This is Gaia's network,” Vincent explained succinctly. “The Council keeps records of all of the arrivals on this world and we gatherers use the network to track newcomers as well as check the status on them.”

 

“Meaning?”

 

Vincent sighed in slight exasperation before his hand moved to the mouse and he clicked a symbol on the monitor that Axel thought he recognized. “I can find out whether or not Roxas has arrived and if he has, where he has been taken or which stage he is at.”

 

The computer bleeped and brought up a new screen, this one with a series of charts on it in the common tongue. Axel's eyes immediately scanned it, realizing that it was a list of people, and next to their names was their current status. Vincent's hand rose and tapped the display, claw clicking against the thick glass.

 

“There,” he stated, pushing back his chair and rising to his feet. “Roxas is already here.” Vincent frowned slightly, his brow furrowing in deep thought.

 

Green eyes widened. “That quickly?”

 

The winged male nodded. “Yes, I am surprised as well. It took us less than six hours to get here by gummi ship. I can't help but wonder what the defining factor is.” He paused before shaking his head. “But... it doesn't matter now. We have to hurry. He's at this moment being taken before the Council.”

 

Axel shivered, remembering the eight monitors, the sneering voices and the shadowy figures. The power behind Gaia's Grotto... those unidentified people, they were who he had to both blame and thank. He was grateful for the second chance but he hated them for the time he spent suffering on their godforsaken paradise. And he couldn't deny that the eerie feeling they practically exuded made him believe they were far from the good guys.

 

“Is there any possibility he was like me?” Axel asked as Vincent headed to the door, pulling it open and peering into the hallway before gesturing for the firestarter to follow him.

 

Vincent's gun returned to his hand as he started to creep into the hallway. “He was not found by one of the enlightened Gatherers... he probably doesn't remember anything,” he replied quietly. He regarded Axel over his shoulder with one crimson eye. “It is up to you to remind him.”

 

The former Nobody nodded, one hand dipping into his pocket to double-check that he still carried the Oblivion key chain. It was his trump card. The one item he had of Roxas' past. If his voice was not strong enough, or his face forgotten by Roxas, then he would use the key chain. Outside of that, Axel had no other hope.

 

They stepped out into the courtyard of the gatehouse, able to plainly see the Council headquarters less than a block away. The rain was falling heavier now, in thick sheets that made it difficult to see. Still, they could clearly make out the forms of a multitude of guards patrolling the grounds.

 

“Nothing to it,” Vincent muttered grimly. “We'll have to fight our way.” His finger thumbed his gun, sliding a bullet into the chamber with an audible click that gathered attention.

 

One guard turned their way, whipping his body around before immediately raising his weapon, a dual-bladed polearm towards them. “Intruders!” he yelled, already moving to attack. “Stop them!”

 

A fireball surged past Vincent as the winged man darted forward, gun raised and firing off rounds faster than Axel could count. The blazing sphere took out the guard that had raised the alarm as more and more nameless faces called out battle cries and attacked. Emerald eyes looked desperately towards the building just steps away and he wondered if they would make it in time.

 

Then his senses flared and he was forced to duck the swing of an impressive hammer that looked as if it could squash his entire body within seconds. Axel whirled around, shooting out a chakram in the same moment and successfully striking the hand of his attacker. The overgrown hammer flew out of his grip, flipping through the air and taking out another rock.

 

Axel gave him no time to recover as he darted forward and jabbed a fist in the guy's gut, a whoosh of air escaping his opponent's mouth as he doubled over and collapsed to the ground, gasping for breath. The firestarter smirked and stepped over him, smoothly intercepting his chakram as it returned to his hand.

 

Another approached from the left and Axel twirled to the side, avoiding the long reach of a spear. Were all their weapons that massive? He couldn't help but wonder as he nimbly leapt to the right. His opponent's eyes flashed and he altered his attack, suddenly swinging the large spear horizontally rather than jabbing it.

 

Axel leapt into the air, high above the swinging spear and twisted his body. He landed nimbly behind his opponent and brought his chakram up, smacking it against his attacker's head. It was enough to knock him out, but not kill him. As that guy crumpled to the ground, Axel darted forward, plowing through a crowd of three more, two men and a woman, not even bothering to fight them properly. A quick burst of fire had them scurrying out of his way.

 

He paused, turning to find Vincent and was surprised that the winged man was actually just behind him, practically on his heels. A gunshot rang out as Vincent shot one of the guards in the leg, disabling him. Those eerie crimson eyes turned toward Axel as he hurriedly reloaded, their steps taking them closer and closer to the council building.

 

“Don't bother fighting,” Vincent urged, snapping his clip in with an audible click. “Just run and stop what gets in your way.”

 

Axel nodded, already twirling his chakram on his hands as he turned and burst forward, slipping into a slinking run. Vincent's bullets flew past him as he backed the firestarter up, clearing what few dared to step into their path. His chakram flew from his fingers, knocking more weapons to the ground. Some guards had given up as they saw them approach, fright a dull emotion on their face before they turned and run, unwilling to face what appeared to be two demons.

 

They broke through the meager guards in front of the doors and shoved their way into the main building, slamming inside. Axel immediately turned as Vincent slipped inside and sent a flash of searing heat at the doors, melting the metal and sealing them together. No more guards would be coming in through that method, which would buy them ten minutes at least and save them a short worry about being attacked from the back.

 

Axel smirked and turned back around, his eyes widening when he was met with ten guards, dead expressions and serious weapons in their grasp. Yet, he was not even the slightest bit concerned. His lips curled into a sneer as he exchanged glances with Vincent, who was equally unimpressed.

 

Something passed between them that needed no words before the two males sprang forward, Vincent to the right and Axel to the left. Three successive bangs echoed in Axel's ears and he smiled, knowing that three of the guards were already down for the count. Their opponents hadn't even had time to attack first.

 

Green eyes centered on his own enemies, sending each of his chakram out to intercept two attacks before he met one in the middle head on. He grinned into the woman's face as his hands wrapped around her wrist, stopping the attack of her chain before she could even whip it towards him. Belatedly he realized that he knew this person.

 

It was Quistis.

 

He startled in surprise, his hold weakening. “Quistis!” he exclaimed, heart beating a mad rhythm in his chest. Don't hurt them, Vincent had said. And now Axel could see why. Because they never knew if the person they were fighting was someone who had just wanted to be saved.

 

For a moment, there was the vaguest flicker of recognition, the tiniest fraction of some sort of hint that Quistis was buried beneath the mind warping but then those beautiful eyes narrowed and the woman used his hesitation against him. She jerked her weapon out of his hold and kicked out at him, putting some space between them.

 

Axel sprang backwards, hands shooting to the side as his chakram returned to them in a swirl of flame.

 

Quistis wasted no time in attacking, no sound emerging from her form as she swung the chained whip in his direction. Axel smoothly avoided it, raising one hand so that their weapons met with a clang of steel on steel. She squared her jaw and jerked the whip back, each link sliding with a grating noise over his chakram's points. He was loathe to hurt her but he felt the press of time on his back and shoulders. He had to get to Roxas.

 

Two more bullets fired in the background. He had no time to waste. Mentally apologizing to Quistis, Axel darted forward, easily catching the whip when it came whipping towards his head again. The chain's stung as he caught it in his bare hands, but he ignored the pain, jerking on the links and causing her to stumble towards him.

 

He took that opportunity to snap the whip in his hold, stepping forward in the same movement so that it wrapped around Quistis, pinning her arms at her side. She was restrained by her own weapon and collapsed over on her side, unable to even stay on her feet. He dropped the end he held to the floor with an audible clank.

 

She looked up at him with what might have been annoyance and anger. Had she been a creature without muted emotions. But here on Gaia's Grotto, it could only be described as impassive resignation. He wanted to save her but he didn't have the time.

 

“I'm sorry,” Axel whispered, shaking his head as he moved past her. Guilt surged up thick and stifling, reminding him that he was truly no better than before. Just the same selfish, reckless kid that had ended the existence of Nobodies and manipulated others to satisfy his ends.

 

Another guard stepped in front of him, but Axel didn't even look at it before sending a fireball in its direction. He couldn't bear to see their identity. He didn't want to know who else he was leaving behind just to save one person. It didn't matter that Roxas wasn't just a person to him, he wasn't just a being that needed saving. Roxas was his everything.

 

But that didn't make the guilt fade. And Axel couldn't help but wonder when he started thinking beyond himself. When had he started caring about his actions in terms of others?

 

That ended the short battle, and Axel turned back towards Vincent, finding that the winged man had easily dispatched the rest of the guards. But shouted voices and the sound of boots stomping across the ground alerted them to the fact that more were coming. They couldn't afford to linger.

 

His eyes finding the elevator he had used on his first and only visit to the center, Axel started towards it. But Vincent grabbed his arm, tugging him off to the right, away from the elevator.

 

Confused, Axel furrowed his brow. “What are you doing?” he asked as he was pulled across the floor, ignoring the gaping stares of those that weren't some sort of soldier or guard. “The elevators--” He was cut off as a loud and piercing siren suddenly sounded throughout the center

 

“They've activated their defense systems,” Vincent explained as they burst through one of the side doors, it swinging open with a loud screech. Axel looked around, finding that they were in a stairwell, which was mostly silent.

“Which means they've shut off the elevators.”

 

Axel groaned when it became apparent that Vincent meant for them to take the stairs, running the entire time. “All eight floors?” he complained as they began their climb, boots echoing hollowly in the empty stairwell.

 

“Think of it as exercise,” Vincent responded in his familiar monotone. Though the red-haired male thought he detected a hint of amusement. “You were getting rather flabby.”

 

Emerald eyes narrowed as Axel resisted the urge to stop and glare at the other male. “Was that a joke?” he demanded tersely as they continued climbing, his gaze catching sight of a sign that declared they were passing the fifth floor. “Because you're the one that was lying around moping.”

 

“I don't make jokes,” Vincent denied, but there was a sparkle in crimson eyes that hadn't been there before. Not while they were in Gaia's Grotto and not before the reconciliation with his lover.

 

Axel grinned, unable to resist teasing the closest person he could consider a friend outside of Roxas. “Cid's good for you. The sex must be great.”

 

Vincent immediately bristled, the sparkle in his eyes turning into a full glare. Yet, before he could even formulate the proper counter, they were at the eighth floor landing.

 

The winged man was the first to step forward, jerking open the door with little subtlety. Axel headed in first, hands ready to spray flame at anything that dared cross his path. Even as he did so, however, he could feel his energy beginning to lag. Perhaps there had been truth to Vincent's teasing.

 

But the hall in front of them was completely devoid of any persons, enemy or not. White-washed with grey tile, it was wide open and spacious, yet completely empty. It was strange since Axel couldn't even sense the presence of any enemies. There was no subtle trill of danger in the air. Perhaps the council was arrogant enough to believe that they didn't have any worry about enemies making it to the eighth floor.

 

Behind him, Vincent stepped out of the stairwell, pausing to close the door quietly. “Head to the right,” he calmly directed, wings twitching restlessly. “The council room is close to here.” A strange, solemn look crossed his features. “I only hope that the battles did not make us too late.”

 

Axel nodded, a strange feeling coiling in his belly. It sang like anticipation, but carried with it a note of trepidative discord. He stepped down the fall, following Vincent's directions. His fingers curled tightly around his chakram, driven by the continuous, unsettling notion of something.

 

He could feel it, the subtle pull of Gaia's Grotto on his heart and wondered if Vincent did as well. It was no easy thing to ignore, curling with tendrils around his soul, trying to leech into his memories and steal everything that was important to him. Axel swallowed thickly and clung tightly to his memories, even going so far as to recall one that was really important to him.

 

It wasn't that something important had happened that day, or even that it was a special day. But he retained it nonetheless, one of those small memories that fought to keep him sane before he ever could begin to hope to ever see Roxas again.

 

Clang! Clank! Screeech!

 

Axel jerked backwards and grinned as he and Roxas separated, the blond panting just as heavily as Axel. They had been at it for over two hours, exchanging blows and barbs until both of them were coated in sweat, in desperate need of a bath. Axel's hair hung limply on his head, no longer in its familiar spikes and Roxas' hair clung to his forehead and neck.

 

“Giving up?” Roxas was breathless, his skin flushed from their exertions. He stood in his battle position nonetheless, always ready for Axel's next attack. They both knew how crafty the firestarter could be, sometimes attacking when the battle was believed to be done and over.

 

The firestarter grinned, twirling a chakram on one finger. “Pfft. Against you? Never.”

 

Roxas' eyes glinted with that hint of feeling that Axel always thought he detected even though they weren't supposed to have them. “You can barely hang onto your chakram,” he argued sensibly, idly letting one keyblade disappear as he pretended to inspect Oblivion. Roxas was always able to pull off nonchalance so well, as opposed to Axel who always looked like he was up to something.

 

And usually he was, but that was besides the point. “And?” Axel countered, waiting for Roxas to give him a good reason. Except, his stomach chose that moment to give a very audible protest, rumbling and proving that he was indeed starved.

 

The blond gave him one of those stares; Axel was quickly learning to identify them. This particular stare was one of bemusement. “You wouldn't happen to be hungry would you?” he questioned dryly. He tilted his head to the side. “Though I think Vexen is supposed to be cooking today.”

 

Axel made a face of disgust and dropped out of his fighting stance, letting his chakram disappear in a short flash of orange flame. “Everything he cooks is raw and cold.” After all, what did he expect from someone called the `Chilly Academic'. He stepped towards Roxas, joining the other Nobody who was letting Oblivion disappear as well.

 

“And everything you make is burnt.”

 

The firestarter stuck his tongue out at him as he reached and poked Roxas in the shoulder teasingly. He towered over the blond by a good foot but somehow, Roxas held such a presence that they seemed the same height. It was strange but Axel rather liked it that way.

 

Then the perfect suggestion came to mind. “Maybe we can sneak out to one of them other worlds and get some real food, hmm? Whaddya say?” Axel was always one ready to escape from the castle. It was stifling and more often than not, someone was looking for him just to ask who exactly had set their robes on fire, etc.

 

Roxas scowled. “You just want to cause trouble. You've already been scolded once for shirking your duties.”

 

Emerald eyes rolled. “That was Marluxia and he was only pissed because he thinks I'm the one that set fire to his green house.”

 

“But you were.”

 

“That's not the point.”

 

The two Nobodies shared a short glaring contest, which Roxas won before they started down the hallway, ignoring the shadows that always seemed to be reaching for them. Axel did, however, kept a firm eye out for Vexen, the Chilly Academic always one for spying. Sometimes Zexion was creeping around in the darkness as well. No one was quite sure what he did and frankly, no one really wanted to ask either.

 

“So you wanna go or not?” Axel asked, turning towards Roxas. “We can head to that one world... you know, the one that had those cakes at that fair. It was a desert town.” He paused putting his hands on his chin in consideration. “Was it Aveh?”

 

“Yeah it was.” Roxas looked at him with amusement. “You've got a memory full of sand, “ he teased. “And you're going to get fat if you keep eating those things.”

 

If Axel had a heart, it would've skipped a beat. That strange sensation in his chest, some sort of something surged when Roxas looked at him like that. There wasn't even anything unique about it but for some reason, it made Axel feel a minute measure of happiness, or his rendition of happiness. It made him feel alive; it made him feel for a moment that there was something beating in his chest. Like his existence was more than just... being there.

 

Roxas had the most vivid eyes, a shimmering, ocean blue that always betrayed his true thoughts. The Key of Destiny had the amazing talent of keeping his face schooled into a lack of expression. But his eyes, he could never quite keep it from his eyes and Axel had already learned how to interpret them.

 

“Axel?”

 

It took a minute for the firestarter to realize he had completely stopped walking and had been staring at his best friend, almost in complete rapture. He blushed before he could stop himself, turning away from Roxas slightly and hoping that his friend couldn't see the faint red staining his pale skin.

 

He blinked before grinning, feeling sheepish. He raked a hand through his hair. “Sorry about that. What were you saying?”

 

Roxas gave him a strange look but continued. “I said, let's go then. And hurry about it. Before Xemnas finds us missing.”

 

Axel laughed again. “I knew you'd see things my way.”

 

“Axel.”

 

Vincent's voice disturbed him from his memories and he blinked, suddenly returning to reality. Axel regarded the winged man with cool green eyes. Vincent stared back impassively, gesturing towards the door with his head. Axel hadn't even realized that they had stopped walking, and followed his directive with his eyes.

 

“We're here.”

 

- - - - - -