Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Dirge ❯ Love of Light ( Chapter 10 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

: Dirge

Pairing: CloudXRiku!

Rating: M

Warnings: Yaoi , and violence, and bad language, lots of language.

Music: One Winged Angel Sephiroth

Movie: Advent Children!

Prompt: Sin

Riku slept fitfully. Strange shadows enveloped his dreams, moving quickly, like wolves dancing around the edge of his consciousness. Several times he reached out to them, to try and grab them. They were real, he knew that as a fact, but he couldn’t tell what they were, and it angered him. Some of the shadows would draw close, just enough for him to catch a glimpse of his father’s face, or of a hand. Sora too, and Cloud. All the people from his past and present seemed to mingle and dance just beyond Riku’s comprehension. He knew they were there, but he couldn’t act on that knowledge.

“Daddy…” Riku called out in desperation, but his father’s image shimmered and fell away, back into the wall of shadow surrounding the silver-haired boy. “No…”

One of the shadows manifested itself directly behind Riku, causing the boy to whirl. It was Tidus, standing behind him with a cocky grin on his face. His eyes were full of malice. “What’s the matter? Want back to your comfortable life already? Ready to run away?”

“Do-don’t hurt me…” Riku whispered. He wanted to say it louder, was desperate to send the shadow the message, but he found his voice was restricted. “Please….daddy….” He turned back to where his father’s shadow had been, but the figure hadn‘t returned. Only the shapeless shadows remained, surrounding him in a torrent. “Don’t hurt me!” Riku cried again, this time louder.

The shadow Tidus laughed. “Don’t hurt you? Why not? You’re playing out here now, you’re on the outside, cut off from your comfortable life, cut off from everything you knew. Don’t you like it? Or are you ready to run back to your old life with your tail tucked between your legs?”

Riku tried to ignore the shadow’s taunts. His pride was taking a beating, but he was too far over the edge to care. At the moment, he was beginning to fill with the same despair that had taken him before.

“Riku? Riku it’s ok…calm down…”

A voice, from somewhere cut into the shadows. The shadow-Tidus standing before Riku shimmered and then shattered, separating and flowing back into the storm. Riku looked up at where the voice had come from. The icy cold that had etched itself into his aching limbs was starting to dissipate with the light, the warmth of the voice coming toward him was too great. Slowly Riku opened himself up to the light, to the voice. “Cloud….” he murmured.

He didn’t know why he said that name, of the many he could call. But he knew immediately that it was the right one. The light enveloped his consciousness, and within moments Riku was wrapped in a warm, deep sleep.
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The sound of things crashing together woke Riku and Cloud at about the same time. Riku looked up into Cloud’s clear, cobalt-blue eyes and blinked. It took a moment for him to realize that he was cradled in the man’s arms, his head resting on the older man’s chest.

“Good morning.” Cloud whispered. Riku blinked again and shook his head, causing some of his hair to fall into his eyes.

“Morning…” Riku replied. He still wasn’t awake, and the fact that he was laying on top of the other man, cradled in his arms had not yet completely struck home. Cloud gently reached up and brushed the hair back from Riku’s eyes.

“Aw isn’t this cute….now get up. We have work to do.” Zexion was standing in the doorway, a scowl on his face. “Unless you two would like to sleep together all day.”

“EEP!” Riku pinwheeled backwards off of Cloud to land awkwardly on the bed. The sight was comical, Riku’s legs were tangled up in Cloud’s and he was sitting at a weird angel with his hair sticking out in all directions. Cloud would have laughed had it not been for the ugly cut along Riku’s shoulder that was starting to bleed again.

“Hold still.” Cloud commanded. Riku froze as the older man leaned forward and removed the bloody bandage wrapped around Riku’s shoulder. Clear, crimson blood trickled freely out of the cut.

Riku stared at the cut in disbelief. “Did…did Tidus do that?” he asked.

“I don’t know. All I know is that the first day I let you out of the house by yourself you get into a fight and come back unconscious, toting Sora along with a bullet wound.”

“Sora!” Riku cried. “Is he alright? He’s not dead is he??”

“He’s fine for now, but he can’t stay conscious long. With a lot of sleep he should be fine.” Zexion moved away from his position in the doorway and approached Riku. “What I would like to know is what happened to you guys. I was having a great time at the House until your friend pulled me out and drug me over to ya. You guy’s had lost so much blood I thought you would have died for sure. I wouldn’t expect ya to be alive, let alone up and moving already.”

“What happened?” Cloud asked. His voice betrayed no emotion, it was calm, cool, solid. Riku let it ring in his ears for a moment before answering.

“We were visiting a friend of Sora’s when this guy, Tidus, attacked us for no reason. I fought back, and…..I dunno I just kinda snapped. Next thing I knew Tidus was against the wall with my sword to his throat. There was ….was a lot of blood. I told him to leave, but when I turned away, he….he shot Sora. I don’t really remember anything other than that.”

“Do you remember the fight at all?” Zexion asked.

Riku shook his head. “No…All I remember was this awful feeling, and then….all the blood.”

Cloud plopped a hand down on Riku’s head and rubbed the silver hair gently. “Don’t worry about it.” he said smoothly. “It happens in a battle. Sometimes, when you get angry enough, all you see is red, and you just fight to survive.”

Riku shivered and pulled his legs closer to him in a sort of fetal position. “I didn’t like it….”

“No one does. Don’t worry you’re going to be ok.” Cloud cooed. He continued to gently stroke Riku’s hair comfortingly.

“Well, I’d love to stick around for the love fest, but I’ve got things to do. I’ll leave everything in your care ok Cloud?” Zexion waved a hand in Cloud’s direction before walking out of the room, leaving Cloud and Riku alone.

After the older man had left, the room seemed to echo with silence. After a few minutes it was broken by Riku.

“Why…why are you here?” Riku asked quietly.

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you here….with me?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? You’re my responsibility, or did you forget that?”

“But…what about Sora? Isn’t he your responsibility too?”

Cloud shook his head, his blonde hair flopping in and out of his vision smoothly as he did so. “Sora is Sora’s responsibility. He’s been an outsider for life. You on the other hand, have been out here for what? A month?”

“…So that makes me your responsibility?” Riku responded, a hint of bitterness in his voice.

“Would you rather be back with your dad?” Cloud asked softly.

“Why….why do you say that?”

“You talked to him in your sleep. You kept calling his name.”

“I said that aloud?”

“Yep.”

“Oh…”< br>
“Riku….do you wish you were back Inside? You know, inside the city?” Cloud allowed his eyes to slowly roam over Riku’s slumped form, taking in the look of utter helplessness the boy produced.

“…” Riku couldn’t respond to that. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but he just didn’t know. City life was all he had known until he got stranded outside. And now that he had been there, had seen everything through two perspectives, he didn’t know if he could ever really go back. Who could? His life had changed forever, he was no longer an Innie, he was as much an outcast of society as Cloud was. It wasn’t a fair thing, Riku’s new-found knowledge had come at a price. But Riku wasn’t entirely sure he would have liked to remain ignorant of it all.

“No.” he finally replied.

That response surprised Cloud. He sat up higher in the bed and cast his gaze over to Riku once more. “No?”

“No…because….because if I hadn’t been trapped out here, I wouldn’t have met you….” He had meant to say you, Sora, and the others, but something stopped him. A little part of his brain told him to pause there, to say no more.

Riku’s words seemed to echo throughout the room. Cloud just stared at him with semi-wide eyes, half believing and half not believing what he had heard. It might not even have been what he interpreted it as, but something, some little tendril of hope wound it’s way up through his chest like the smoke from his cigarettes.

“Just me?” he asked softly.

“Mostly you.” Riku responded. “Though I don’t know why, you were rarely here. I never saw you….but when I did, you showed more open compassion and sympathy for me than my father ever did. I know, this sounds really sappy and stuff…but ….uh…yeah…” Embarrassed, Riku turned away and committed himself to staring at the wall.

Cloud watched the back of Riku’s skull, examining the way light played off his silver hair. They boy was more beautiful than Cloud had originally thought, though he didn’t know what had caused the shift in appearance. Maybe it was the absence of the baby-fat that Riku had still had on him when he was new. Maybe it was the wild appearance he had obtained during his stay with the gang. Or maybe it was just the work of an attraction that was beginning to grow in the pit of Cloud’s stomach. Whatever the case though, Cloud now found Riku to be the most beautiful person he had ever met.

Clearing his throat, Cloud looked away. “Well…” he said. “I’m not going to be busy today. Squall and I have already planned the next raid, but this incident with Sora has set us back. Since I don’t have much in the way of work to do until the next raid….what do you say I try to teach you some things about the city? You don’t have to move much, but I would think you’d like to talk more than just sit there right?”

Riku paused a moment, then nodded. “Alright.” he replied. “Teach me.”