Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Feeling Invisible NC-17 version ❯ Feeling Invisible ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, but wish I was the master mind who did.

Summary: This fic is a one-shot about Riku and Sora. It is all in Riku's POV and is based on the song, "Invisible" by Clay Aiken. Personally, I don't like the song, but I thought the lyrics would make a good fanfic for the two. This version is rated NC-17. Sora is 17 years old, and Riku is 18. They still look alot like they did in the game though. Just imagine them like that, just a bit taller basically. I hope you enjoy :)

Feeling Invisible

We have known each other for so long now, yet, you still don't know everything about me. I have kept so much from you, but it's not like I wanted to. I was afraid and had no choice but to hide it. If I was to tell you, you would probably run away from me, and hate me for the rest of your life. Oh, how I would miss that beautiful, brunette hair of yours. Out of all the wonderful things about you, I think I would miss that goofy smile of yours the most. I could never go a day without seeing it upon your face at least once. Your laugh, your kindness, your loyality, and how naive you are, all contribute to making you so great.

What ya doin tonight,

I wish I could be a fly on your wall

I always wonder what you're doing when I'm not around. My curiousity sometimes gets the best of me, and I sometimes go crazy. Even when you are with me, my mind still goes crazy, crazy for you that is. When we go home together after school, I dread leaving your side, even though we live right next to each other. One night, I had to see you after I was forced to remove my gaze from your body as you closed the door. I first went to my house, to drop off my bag. Then I left, and walked up to yours. I climbed the tree that grew between our houses. I crawled across the one branch that lead to your room. I felt like I was invading your space, but I couldn't help myself. I piered through the curtains that were partially covering your window. As I did, you walked in. I immediatly moved my body to the side, so you couldn't spot me. After a few seconds past, I figured it was safe to look again. So, I did. You were laying on your bed. Your face was looking up towards the ceiling, but you had your eyes closed. You had your arms folded behind your head, adding to how cute you already looked. The look upon your face, was almost like you were pondering something, but what, I wondered.

Are you really alone,

Who's stealing your dreams?

I longed to know what, or who was on your mind. I wished so much, that it was me. My heart wished it was true, but my mind told me it wasn't. It was saying things to me like, 'You know he doesn't think the same about you as you do towards him. He probably never would, because you're a guy. He doesn't go for that kind of thing. You should know that.' Of course I knew that, and it hurt to think about it.

But then you did something I never expected I'd ever get to see you do. I almost started to drool as I continued to watch as you slowly began to move your hands into your pants. You began moving your hand, slowly making it go faster and faster. I almost whimpered when you pulled you hand back out. My thoughts began to race again when I seen you unbuckle your pants and pull down the zipper. You had been teasing me without even knowing it by not showing me anything that you were hiding in those pants of yours. Oh, how I wanted to rip them off of you at that moment. You proceeded with your previous actions. Your back began to arch a bit and you rolled your head backwards. I swore I was able to hear some sweet, little moans come from your mouth. It made me think how badly I wanted you to be calling out my name. As you continue your mesmerizing activity, you pushed a bit on your pants, just enough to reveal your hidden treasure that was inside. My jaw just about dropped. I almost turned my head in shame of watching my bestfriend doing something that was suposed to be private. But....I just couldn't help myself. I watched as you pulled out your beautiful, perfectly sized manhood and gently started rubbing the head with your thumb. You looked as if you were purring. I wish I could have been able to hear you..You had such a spaced out expression on your face. I could feel my own erection starting to try and break itself from it's prison. But it would have to wait.

Oh, it was such torture as I watched you grab your cock and rub your hand up and down the shaft. I was starting to feel quite hot. My hand began making it's way down to my own but I moved it as soon as I caught on. It just wasn't fair. Your whole body began to twitch as I could tell you were getting close to your limit. I licked my lips to remove what drool had formed and I dared not blink as you finally came to the edge. I almost fell out of the tree, but stopped myself as you moaned loudly and released your sweet seed all over your hand and stomach. I couldn't believe I had just watched you do such a thing. I almost felt bad but those thoughts disappeared as I noticed how cute you looked, with that satisfied look on your face as you closed your eyes.

I continued to look into your room and I watched you as you fell into, what I thought to be a deep sleep. I placed my hand on the window and thought about what I always drempt about us doing together. As my thoughts started to get more intense, I got closer to the glass. I didn't realize it, but I was so close, my breath was forming steam on the glass.

Why can't I breathe you into my life, (so tell me)

What would it take to make you see that I'm alive?

I continued my dirty thoughts about you. I imagined me, climbing through the window and hovering above you, like a hawk. I would watch you sleep, so peacefully. I would get ever so close to your face, and want to touch it ever so gently. I would become, only but inches from your lips, and I would long for the contact. A chill ran through me as I thought about the moment I would be able to touch those gorgeous, delicious looking lips of yours. I imagined me leaning even further till they finally made contact. My heart raced just picturing it and pretending I could actually feel it. I pictured you opening your eyes slightly and embracing me. You would pull me in closer to you till I was on top of you completely. You would break apart from me, for some air, then pull me back towards you for yet another passionate kiss. You would run your hands down my back, causing me to push against your body even tighter. I could feel your erection against mine, and my mind would begin to soar. Even just thinking about it was making me feel like I was somewhere heavenly. You stopped kissing me and pulled your head up to my ears to whisper something to me.

"Oh, my sweet Riku." You would begin to speak. "How I have longed for this for soon long. I never want to let you go. You are mine as I am yours, now and forever." Then you would kiss me yet again. I could hear moans coming from you as I did the same.

Ours bodies would begin to rocks back and forth against each other. Every so often you would push your body more into mine as we moved, creating an incredible sensation that spead throughout my body. I broke the kiss this time and gasped for air as it was getting harder to breathe. I leaned back abit and I seen you reach for my shirt. You started pulling it up towards my head and I raised my arms to make it easier. You threw my shirt to the ground and run you hands down my chest. It tickled a bit but I didn't care. You then sat up and looked into my eyes. You wrapped your arms around me and began kissing my neck. It felt so good. I ran my hands through your brunet hair and kissed your head. You let go of me and rasied your arms. I took that as a sign to take your shirt off, and I obliged. You layed back down and pulled me down. I imagined your chest feeling so good against mine.

I didn't realize it but you had somehow got your hand inbetween both our hips and you were trying to undo my pants. I clued in once your had them undone and were trying to pull them down. I got off of you and let you proceed with you plan. You sat at the edge of the bed and grabbed my waistband and pull down my pants. Once removed, a huge bulge in my boxers became visible. You looked up at me and smirked. It was a new side of you I had never seen before, and I liked it. You looked so evil, yet so cute.

You continued to look up at me as you started rubbing my awaiting erection. Then you released it and cupped your hand around it. A low growl could be heard for me and you knew I couldn't wait any longer. You took my cock and shoved it your mouth. I just about screamed. It felt incredible against your tongue as you licked it and sucked while you moved your head back and forth. It was getting really hard to control myself. I just had to do something. I pushed you away from me and undid your pants. They dropped to the ground. I then quickly yet gently pulled down your boxers. I ran my hand up your cock and placed both my hands on your shoulders. I pushed you down on the bed and jumped on top of you. I started to roughly kiss you neck and chest. I was going wild You wrapped your arms around me and began to push up against me. Our cocks rubbed against each other and sent chills down my back. I just had to have you, right then and there.

I looked into your beautiful sapphire-blue eyes and asked if you were truly ready. You proved it by grabbing my cock and almost pushing it into yourself. I helped by thrusting it into you. You yelped and dug your nails into my back. I hated hurting you like that. I pulled out but you pulled me back in. You begged me to continue and I obeyed. I pushed my cock back into you and pulled it back out almost all the way. Then I thrusted back into you. I repeated it for, I don't even know how long. We were beginning to get tired and we were both sweating quite a bit. I had to release now, or else I wouldn't be able to. I gave a few hard and powerful thrusts and....and....

If I was invisible,

If I could just watch you in your room,

If I was invincible,

I'd make you mine tonight

My imagination continued to run out of control as I stared at you more. I began to sweat a lot, as the passion grew in my head. It was torture to have these thoughts, but only to awaken and find out it wasn't real. I wish I could tell you all my secrets, my feelings, everything. I just thought about how badly I wanted to be in the room with you, holding you, kissing you, or even just standing there with you. If only you knew.

If hearts were unbreakable,

And I could just tell you where I stand,

I would be the smartest man,

If I was invisible,

Wait, I already am

The next day, we were walking to school, just like we always do. The images from the night before were still inside my head. I could picture everything just perfectly. Even though I was right beside you as you walked, I still felt like I was a million miles away. As some of our friends met up with us, it made me feel even more distant. You would laugh, and smile at them, but pretend like I wasn't even there. I tried to get your attention, over and over again. But it was no good. It was heartbreaking to feel that way.

Saw your face in the crowd,

I call out your name,

You don't hear a sound

As we continued to walk down the street, I watched your every move. I watched how your hips swayed and your hair gently moved in the wind. I felt like I was hypnotized. When you would glance at me, I saw your eyes sparkle as the sun was being reflected in them. It was as if I could see your soul. There was something missing though, as if there was something I couldn't read. It was your thoughts. You had something on your mind, but to not know, was killing me. I wish you wouldn't leave me in such mystery. Then again, it's one thing that attracts me to you in the first place.

I keep tracing your steps,

Each move that you make,

Wish I could read what goes through your mind, (oh baby)

Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life

With each thought I had of you, they increased in intensity. As I looked at you, I began to feel hot, and my mind started to cloud over. I became oblivious to my surroundings and all I saw was you. Those images from the night before, and every other night (or minute shall I say) was being burned into my head again. I started to picture you in your room again. I also seen myself in the daydream, with you. We were on you bed and we were involved in what had to be, the best kiss ever. Then again, any kiss from you would be the best kiss, especially the first one.

If I was invisible,

If I could just watch you in your room,

If I was invincible,

I'd make you mine tonight

As we began to heat up even more, I slowly pushed you so you would lay down on your back. Our kiss became more intense and you were kissing me back with such force. Your hands were trailing up and down my back, as I held mine on your hips. I then slowly brought my body down upon yours, and you tensed up at the contact between us. I could feel your smile on your lips as your breathing began to quicken. As we broke the kiss for some much needed air, you began to speak. As you were about to say those words that I so longed for, I awoke, back into reality. I thought to myself, just how impossible it was for my dream to ever be real. I also wondered, how long I could go, without telling you. I felt like I was going through a very slow and painful death.

If hearts were unbreakable,

And I could just tell you where I stand,

I would be the smartest man,

If I was invisible,

Wait, I already am

After school was finished, I decided to go to the other island. I wanted to, well, think things through. This was such torture to my mind, and heart. I needed to get if off my mind, or at least try to. It was inevitable though. As soon as I arrived, I immediatly thought of you. My eyes traced the sand, only to be guided over to the secret place. My feet started to move towards the small cave, without me even realizing it. I was in a trance. Something was calling me there, to the one place where you and I met so long ago.

I moved some vines and cobwebs out of the doorway, and I then entered. I walked through the dark, entrance that curved to the left. It was always dark in there, and it added to the mysteriousness it held inside. The long, small tunnel, then lead to an almost round, den-like room. There were some roots and branches growing through the wall and there were rocks and small boulders on the ground. Then I caught sight of some pictures on the wall. I found one that you made with Kairi. I don't get what you saw in her. It was clear that you had a thing for her. I could tell she felt the same for you too. I stretched my hand out, towards the drawing of you and her. I wished it was me you were looking at, instead of her. My finger began to trace your face. It was as if I was looking at the real thing.

I reach out,

But you don't even see me

Those familar feelings were beginning to build up in me again, and I couldn't hold it this time. I took my hand and began to slowly guide it down my chest. When my hand reached my pants, my fingers played with the zipper a bit. I soon found myself pulling down the zipper and opening my pants. I placed my hand inside my pants and could feel my thrubbing erection, I began gently rubbing my trapped manhood and felt chills. I then pushed my pants down just enough to be able to free my cock. I took it out of my pants and my boxers and looked down at it. I could see the precum leak out of it and I rubbed it off with my thumb. I continued to rub the head as leaned back on the wall. I slowly fell to the ground. I sat there with my back against the wall and I grabbed my cock. I started moving my hand up and down while grabbing it harder and harder. My pace began to get faster as the feeling intensified. I could feel it building up inside me. I was about to release anytime. I tried to prolong it a bit longer but I just couldn't hold on anymore. My seed shot out all over my hand and on the ground. I kept rubbing it till all the cum had finished coming out. I layed my head back against the wall and wiped my hands on my shirt. I was breathing really heavily. It had been going on too long and it was getting so hard to keep it in anymore. I knew I couldn't keep doing this and I would have to do something about it sooner or later. I was really starting to go crazy and I was afraid I was going to get more out of control. I needed you just too much. I closed my fists and I yelled out your name. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I brought my head forward. I couldn't handle it anymore. I was going nuts. I kept wishing you were by my side, holding me, and telling me you loved me. My head began to ache as the tears continued to pour.

Even when I scream out,

Baby you don't hear me, (you don't hear me)

I began to calm down as the pain became too much. I wiped the tears away with my hand and I found myself feeling weak. I looked up at the wall and I stared at the drawing. I turned my head to the side as I thought about it. I closed my eyes and began to picture you, again. I then heard a noise, faint, but I knew I heard something. I opened my eyes and turned my head to my right. Then I saw the sight I had always wished to see during my time of need. I saw you....my beautiful, aqua-eyed, angel. I couldn't believe it. There you were, standing just feet from me. You have stood that close to me a million times, but when I feel the want I have for you, the closeness seems like heaven.

I stood up and was facing you. You smiled at me as I walked closer to you. I felt like melting as I stared into your eyes. You reached out your hand to me, and I was very willing to take it. As I reached out my hand to capture yours, something began to feel wierd. My hand was so close and just as I was about to grab it, something happened. My hand should have made contact, but instead looked like it hit a wall of mist. I looked into your eyes again, and moved my body closer to yours. I then rushed forward, with my arms stretched out to hug you. I soon found myself on the ground. I looked behind me once I sat up and found only more mist. I figured out what had happened. I only drempt you were there. You were never there to begin with. I lowered my head once again, and I realized I had never felt so lonely as I did at that moment.

I am nothing without you,

Just a shadow passing through

The next few days, I was very distant from you. You always tried to get me to talk, but I just never felt like it. I felt bad for the way I was acting, but after what happened to me, I didn't really want to face you. I hated keeping things from you, and this was the biggest one of all. It was tearing me up inside. It killed me when you would have that cute, yet sad expression on your face as you worried about me. It was getting to the point that I wouldn't be able to handle that much longer either.

One day, we were on our way back home from school. We walked together, but it felt like we weren't. I couldn't talk, or even look at you. You were starting to get really sick of it, and I couldn't blame you. As we got to my house, you stopped as we got closer to the door. I was about to walk in, but you told me to stop. I looked back at you, but was not totally shocked. I knew you were going to say something sooner or later. You walked up to me and told me to turn around. I wouldn't. I was too ashamed of myself. You got mad as I refused. When I heard you ask me again, but in a more serious tone, I did as you requested. My eyes were red, and it looked as if I was about to cry. Your eyes widened and your mouth opened abit. You got closer to me, and you placed your hand on my shoulder. You asked what was wrong with me, but I just lied and said nothing was wrong, and I shugged off your hand from my shoulder.

I looked into your eyes and could only read the hurt you were feeling. I bowed by head, and turned around as I headed for the door. I just wanted to curl up in a corner and cry. I hated myself for what I did to you. As I was about a foot from the door, you yell at me to stop, again. This time I was surprised. I thought you wouldn't want to talk to me after all that. You walked up to me again, and stood behind me. I couldn't see it, but I sensed that you lowered your head as well. I could hear in your voice that you were upset and I then turned back around. I could see the tears falling from your face. I got close to you, close enough, that I wrapped my arms around you.

If I was invisible,

If I could just watch you in your room,

If I was invincible,

I'd make you mine tonight

If hearts were unbreakable,

And I could just tell you where I stand,

I would be the smartest man,

If I was invisible, (I'd make you mine tonight)

We cried together, and I held you tightly. You looked up at me and asked me, so sincerely, what was bugging me. I couldn't lie to you anymore. I just had to tell you. I looked into your eyes and grabbed your chin with my hand. The look in your eyes, showed me passion, love and trust. I knew that no matter what I was about to tell you, you would still be my best friend. I took a deep breathe and spoke those words, that I never thought I would ever be able to say.

"Sora....I...well....I really care about you. Well, it's not just that I care about you. I um.....I love you Sora. I..always have, and I always will. I hope you can forgive the way I have been acting. It was very hard for me to finally tell you this and I would be more hurt if you wouldn't be my best friend anymore, than if you told me you don't love me."

A tear rolled down my cheek as I said that last part. I closed my eyes, but they shot open as I felt your hand, wipe away that tear. I looked deeply into your gorgeous, blue, soulful eyes, and saw the same feelings in them, that I was feeling myself. You smiled and tilted your head abit.

"Of course I forgive how you've been acting. I truly understand what you were going through. I didn't want to tell you, but the same thing was happening to me. I have been having those feelings, about you, and I wasn't sure how to handle it. I had my days where I didn't want to see you, because I was afraid of letting it out at the wrong moment. I'm glad you told me though."

You pressed your body a bit more against mine, and you brought your hand up to my face. I closed my eyes as I layed my face into you hand.

"I love you Riku. No matter what happens from now on, I will always be your best friend, and nothing will ever change that. I promise."
For the first time in my life, I felt so at peace. I was so incredibly happy, and nothing was going to ruin that moment. Nothing ever did, and never will. I have been so full of life since that day, and I know, that even if something was to happen between us, we will always be best friends, and that means so much to me. More than you'll ever know. You are my land, my sky, my angel, and my life. I just love you so much, now and forever.

The End