Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ How to kill the Orgy members in 13 minutes! ❯ Chapter 1

Summary: Just a random idea me n my friend Lilax thought up. Completely random, though totally hilarious!

 

First off, Mansex. Er- I mean- Xemnas!

 

Shot to the moon, tried to carve it into the shape of a heart and died of over exertion. His last word: “Yesss…”

 

Xigbar

 

Locked in a cage of rabid monkeys `cause he looks like one. Eventually starts thinking he's a monkey himself. The zoo people put him down because he became too vicious.

 

Xaldin

 

Gets stranded on dreadlock island. The locals find and cook him, then feed him to a generic Tony the Tiger with dreadlocks.

 

Vexen

 

As he's going down the drag-queen catwalk, he twists his ankle `cause of his 9” heels and snaps his neck on the side of the isle.

 

Lexaeus

 

Goes to watch the Rocky Horror picture show, but is way scarier than it, so all the people chop him up for making them look bad…or good…idk

 

Zexion

 

Locked in a giant library. He picks up a book and opens it. It comes to life, grows teeth, and attacks him. The rest of the books fly off of the shelves and do the same. Poor Zexy dies of blood loss.

 

Saix

 

Gets mauled by giant pink cotton candy bunnies who eat him. As they're doing so, they all chant, “Pink---SAIX BUNNIES!!!”

 

Axel

 

Is suspected of being a witch and is burned to death. How, when he controls fire you ask? Well, the fire's just evil. That's all.

 

Demyx

 

Gets dropped into a pot full of boiling chocolate and sold off as a defective bunny to the rabid fangirls.

 

Luxord

 

Drops his deck of cards and scrambles to pick them up. Lilax comes along, sneakily (is that a word?) picks one up and slits his throat with it.

 

Marluxia

 

Chained t a wall and gets whipped to death with giant rose stems.

 

Larxene

 

Stuck in a giant hamster ball with alotta crickets. After a few days, all the crickets are gone `cause she ate them, and now she thinks she's a cricket. Eventually she gets out of the hamster ball and gets stepped on.

 

Roxas

 

Lied to and locked in a circular room, tied to a chair, surrounded by 3 record players. One plays Demyx's line, “Roxas, come back to us.” Over and over, another plays “Beautiful Soul” by Jesse McCartney, and the last one, something just as annoying, “I Want Candy” by Aaron Carter. Sounds something like this:

 

“I don't want another pretty face - Roxas! - I don't want just anyone to hold - Come back to us! - I don't want my love to go to waste, `cause - I WANT CANDY!”

 

XDXDXD

 

How morbid… that's enough to kill anyone!

 

~Fin~