Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Phone Tag ❯ Womanizer ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Okay...go ahead and scream at me.

I know, I know, I don't update for months and then come out with a new fanfic? Like, what the hell?!

Anyway, this came to me one day at lunch as my friend told me about a message he got on his cell phone. It was originally going to be all humor and some good smut, but...you know me...

ANGST HOES!!!!!

Tis mah smut fic! Mah very own smut fic! =D

(In order to understand that drabble, you'd have had to have followed me on Fanfiction)

Anyways...onwards

Story:Phone Tag
Rating:M
Pairings: SoRiku, AkuRoku, SephZack (yuuuuuuuuummmmm), CloudLeon, XigDem, Zemyx, and a weeeeee bit of AkuDem
Warning:This fanfic contains copious amounts of gay men. Women with heart conditions are advised not to read too deeply into the fanfic. (This also applies to women without heart conditions.) It's very SMAXY. See? See how SMAXY it is? It's very SMAXY. I would like to open up the file and read it myself - and I'm just the author! Now, without further ado, enjoy your twisting of the canon universe by any, every, and all means possible.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom hearts or even the warning. The warning was the brain-child of Minikimii. All credit for the warning goes to Minikimii.

Week One
Womanizer

Day One
Riku

Riku stood at the bar, flirting shamelessly with the pretty bartender, Sarah. His shoulder-length silver hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail that allowed his bangs to fall into his face. His slim, lean-muscled body was complimented sexily with the required uniform of black slacks, white button-down shirt, and small lap apron. He held his notepad in his right hand as he leaned his left elbow on the counter, smacking his left palm suggestively while he smirked a white-fanged grin at the poor girl.

As expected, she blushed and giggled, batting her long eyelashes and shoving her brown hair out of her mud-brown eyes.

Riku grinned wider, as he knew he had her. She would be joining him in his apartment after a nice date that night.

“Samuels!”

Riku winked at the girl before turning to the source of the voice.

His boss, a sour-looking man named Cid Thomas, stood there, arms crossed. He chewed on a toothpick, agitated for some reason that no one actually ever knew. He never confided in anyone, and no one approached him.

“Back away from the pretty girl, son. C'mere,” Cid growled, and Riku could almost smell the rank stench of cigarettes on the man's breath, even at that distance. The man was a borderline chain-smoker, and every once in a while, Riku almost found enough reasons for Cid to stop that habit. His number one reason was that the angry man wasn't sexy enough to smoke that often.

Riku grinned back at Sarah as he pushed away from the counter to saunter over to his boss. Every eye was on him, he knew. Male or female, no one could fail to notice how alluring he was.

“Yes, Mr. Thomas, sir?” Riku asked innocently. He could hear a girl groan somewhere behind him.

Obviously, Cid heard too, for he rolled his eyes as he said, “you'll be training a new guy tomorrow, got it? No buts, kid. You're, unfortunately, the only one working tomorrow that's qualified. Good thing it's a guy.”

Riku chuckled. “Of course. We don't want to overwhelm any new girls.”

“Shut it, Samuels. His name is Sora Highwind. You can at least try to remember his name,” Cid growled roughly.

Riku did feel a little burn from that comment. He had a tendency to forget the new guys' names, but never did he forget a girl's. Even if she wasn't attractive, or she wasn't his type, or she wasn't the least bit interested, he always remembered her name.

But he hid his embarrassment with a smirk. “No problem, sir. That name's almost redundant, isn't it?”

“Shut. Up. And don't mess with the kid, `kay Samuels? His father is the big guy in town. Ansem Highwind,” Cid almost begged Riku.

“Oh, I thought the name was vaguely familiar,” the silveret started with a smirk. “Too bad my brother is even more famous.”

“Cuz he's a porn star.”

“He's a model!”

“Same difference,” Cid shrugged. “Chill out, be nice to the kid, and conveniently forget you're a womanizing pig for at least an hour.”

Riku cringed as he looked over Cid's shoulder at the front door of the restaurant.

“Should I warn him about your brother?” Riku asked, his whole attitude changing to actual sympathy.

“What?” Cid questioned, confused as Riku stared over his shoulder. “What does that have to do with any—”

“Big brother!”

A man with long black hair and an eye-patch stumbled across the restaurant, waving a napkin around and giggling madly.

Xigbar Thomas, the famous drunk in Radiant Garden, the upper-class of Hollow Bastion. Though pretty obnoxious, even during the rare days of sobriety, he had quite the sexy way of moving and looked hot in leather. He had some gnarly scars from back when he was in a gang, but somehow girls thought it was sexy. He got even more action than Riku could ever dream of getting.

Then again, Riku romanced the ladies into his bed, and never pressured them. He would actually take them on a date then take them to his place. A few he even kept for a few more days.

Xigbar just gets a chick, he's in, he's out, she's gone. That's the way he has been since he moved to Radiant Garden from a place affectionately called The World That Never Was—also known as The Place That Never Should Have Been.

Riku looked around and could see people already flagging down their waiters to get their checks. Not only was Xigbar good in the sack, he was also extremely good at destroying businesses.

“Leave, Xigbar!” Cid bellowed as he saw the same thing as Riku.

“Man, yo, I totally got this broads number! Tell me, dude, is this a three or a seven?” Xigbar drawled, both in drunkenness and the way he actually spoke.

Cid shoved him, and the drunk man almost toppled over. “Get out of here, Xigbar! Go home! Shit!”

Xigbar finally reached his limit and passed out cold on the tile floor. At this, a few people settled back down and went about their business. This was a short visit from Xigbar, thank God.

Cid sighed, rubbing his face roughly, “At least he didn't vomit this time.”

Back to Riku's lists of reasons why Cid shouldn't smoke—lung cancer, tongue cancer, tongue hair, gum cancer, yellow teeth, yellow fingers, yellow teeth, rank breath, and he's just not that sexy—Xigbar is what nullified that entire list.

“Samuels—”

“I know, I'll watch the place,” Riku interrupted, sighing sadly.

“Thanks, Riku,” he muttered, smirking through his frustration. Turning to another waiter, he beckoned the man over. “Strife, help me out?”

Cloud Strife, a quiet and kind man, walked over. He was beautiful, yet not outrageously so that people stared open-mouthed at him. It was widely known that he was gay, and Riku only remembered his name because the blonde had dated his older brother for two years.

Cid rarely came back after taking Xigbar home. The buffoon usually woke up on the way back to his shared townhouse with Cid, anyway. Cid would stay at home with his younger brother for the rest of the day just to make sure the drunk was drinking water and eating properly. For all his faults, Cid was a great older brother.

When Cid wasn't there, Riku was all professional, getting things done quickly and efficiently. He kept his winks to a minimum and his saunter was almost gone. His flirting was less obvious and he made sure to pay equal attention to the men as he did the women. Granted, people still watched him, but less drooled all over themselves.

Then he walked in.

Baby-blues so full of innocence, a scowl that begged to differ, and blonde hair the colour of honey, he had every girls' and guys' jaws hitting the floor. His gait was pure confidence, and though it wasn't a saunter, it was undeniably sexy.

As Sarah's eyes brightened at the sight of the man, Riku knew he hated him.

Riku strode over to the hostess podium and glared at the blonde spitefully.

“Table for one?” Riku spat viciously.

The blonde grinned, though his eyes flashed dangerously. “No, I was actually thinking of sitting at the bar. Thanks anyway.”

And the man brushed past Riku without a second glance and walked casually over to the bar. He placed the bag he was carrying onto the counter and pulled out a sleek, checkered laptop and opened it.

“What can I get you?” Sarah asked, blushing as his blues eyes glanced at her briefly.

He looked agitated and completely uninterested with her, which quelled Riku's hatred just a little bit.

“Grilled cheese sandwich for now, I guess,” he replied, sighing as she blushed darker and hurried off.

Riku walked behind the bar and stood directly in front of the man, glaring down at him as his fingers flew across the keyboard.

The blonde looked up and glared back, though his fingers never ceased in their movement.

“Yes?” The blonde asked.

Riku just turned with a huff and turned his sexy-mode back on in an attempt to salvage what he'd lost when that worm walked in.

Sarah returned with his sandwich and a glass of water, smiling at the man, but her eyes were drawn to Riku again, which was good for Riku.

The man at the bar had begun to talk to Sarah as she was washing the counter and she was laughing, a real laugh that Riku rarely heard. He only ever could bring the carnal side out in a girl. He wasn't really one for getting close to the girl.

And for his own social ineptness, he hated this newcomer. Who did he think he was? This new jerk was not going to get away with it.

The remaining two hours of Riku and Sarah's shift were agonizing, to say the least.

Finally, when their replacements came in, Riku sauntered almost comically to the bar.

“Hey, Sarah,” Riku smiled, “are we still on for tonight, or has this handsome young man come in and stolen you away from me?”

Sarah giggled and Riku knew he still had her.

“Roxas? No! We've just been talking. Just wait here, kay? I have to clock out,” Sarah replied.

“Here, hun, why don't you take my stuff back too and clock me out?” The silveret asked and she nodded enthusiastically and scurried to the kitchen.

Riku turned on Roxas, slapping his hands down on the counter on either side of the blonde's laptop and glared.

“I. Hate. You.” Riku spat, his aquamarine eyes on fire.

Roxas raised an eyebrow. “Down, Pretty Boy. Wouldn't wanna get your thong in a twist, would we?”

Riku's nostrils flared with loathing, but he composed himself instantly as he heard Sarah's laughter from the kitchen.

“Have a nice evening, sir,” Riku said pleasantly as Sarah joined them at the bar.

“Always a pleasure to be here in your company,” Roxas said just as calmly, raising his glass of iced tea slightly.

Riku wasted no time hurrying out of the restaurant. He was in such a hurry, he even missed the flaming red head of his best friend.

oOoOoOo

Riku stood at the door to his balcony, wearing only his boxers slung low on his waist, showing off prominent hipbones.

Sarah hummed happily from the bed, her naked figure sliding smoothly under the Egyptian cotton.

Smiling at her, the silveret padded silently past the bed and out of the room, long strides taking him to the kitchen. The same question always kept him up after one of these little adventures of his.

Keep her for a while? Or ditch her in the morning?

“Ditch” was a pretty strong word. He just never brought it back up after, though many girls didn't mind. He rarely had a girl go psycho on him.

Sarah was nice, and pretty good in the sack, but she lacked…lacked something that Riku was looking for. Every girl it was the same, they were all always lacking something.

He pressed the blinking red button on his answering machine, sighing as he leaned against the counter.

BEEP

“Hi, Riku! It's your favourite dad! I was just calling to make sure you were coming this weekend to have dinner with us! You wouldn't want to hurt your dear, loving mother's feelings--” Yeah…the ice queen have feelings? “--and why don't you bring a nice girl around this time! You make a dad proud son, making up for a certain failure. Speaking of disappointment, your brother's coming too. Maybe your lady skills will wake him up from his delusion--”

BEEP. “Message deleted”

Riku hated his parents. He and his brother had grown really close after Sephiroth came out of the closet. Though Sephiroth looked much older than Riku, it was only by two years, so when Sephiroth came out at the age of sixteen, Riku was old enough to understand what that meant, but he could still love his brother all the same.

Their parents saw it differently. Their mother, whom Sephiroth idolized with every fiber of his being, shut herself down completely to the poor guy. She wouldn't even eat in the same building as Sephiroth, and still refused to join the family reunion dinners.

Their father, a right bastard to begin with, just began to take everything out on Sephiroth, the son he always compared Riku to, the son that Riku was always striving to be an equal to. Their father would even beat Sephiroth, until one day, Riku, tears running down his cheeks in rivers, begged him to stop. That was the first time Riku ever let himself cry in front of his father, and the bastard seemed to realize that hitting Sephiroth went too far.

But that didn't stop the verbal abuse that Sephiroth was subjected to every day. Riku had a feeling that was why he went into modeling. His brother wanted to join the army (especially when he learned that homosexuals were slowly becoming welcome in the ranks) but Riku believed that, in a desperate cry for love and attention, he became a male model. Of course, the older man would never admit to this, but Riku could read him better than anyone else could.

Well except for maybe his new boyfriend, but Riku was his brother. That counted for something more than a lover.

BEEP

“Riku,” it was Sephiroth, “if you don't go to that dinner, I will personally see to it that you are impaled on a barbed-wire dildo and slowly tarred and feathered. You hear me?”

BEEP “Message deleted”

“Jesus, Seph…no need for the unnecessary violence…” Riku murmured, chuckling.

Sephiroth knew Riku would be attending. Riku always did, if only just to distract their father from Seph. The younger brother just knew that it made Seph feel better to call and threaten him into going.

BEEP

“Heeeeeey, Riku,” Axel, oh no, “yeah, man, can't go to that…family dinner. My hamster is scheduled to die of a brain tumor that day. Sorry, dude. Uh yeah, so later. Love ya' lots you Closet Gay.”

BEEP “Message deleted”

“Fuckn' bitch, baling on me…” Riku hissed, closing his eyes and running a hand through his hair. “He doesn't even have a fuckn' hamster!”

“Riku, what're you doing up?”

Riku whirled around, composing himself as he saw Sarah standing in the doorway to the bedroom, the sheet from his bed wrapped around her body.

“I was up and decided to check my messages. I was going to do that earlier, but a certain someone distracted me,” Riku replied suggestively as he sauntered over to her.

“Oh?” She queried with a raised eyebrow and an attempt at an amused smirk, but her face was overcome with desire for the silveret.

“Yes, and as it seems, I wouldn't mind repeating earlier,” he whispered, picking her up.

As he carried her into the room, he kicked the bedroom door shut harshly, ignoring the annoying voice in the back of his had that told him this was wrong.

TBC

And there we have it, the first chapter of Phone Tag! =D

Sooo...I've decided that I officially HATE Microsoft Works Word Processor...I just got a laptop, soooo...it doesn't have word yet...so i had to actually use Works...and it hurts my brain with how primitive it is....-:sigh:- Anyway...

NEW LAPTOP! UPDATES PERHAPS MAYBE IN THE NEAR FUTURE, HOPEFULLY AS SOON AS I GET WORD ON HERE!

Yeah... :3 my parents used some of their tax return to get me a laptop so I can write :3

Anyway, hoped you enjoyed. This chapter was beta-less, so I apologize. I will be having Minikimii as mah beta. I'm not sure if that is her pen name on here, but you may recognize her as the author of L's Diaryand other such amazing things, yes? Yes, she is my follower, a minion if you will. I am GAwD, she is EPiC FAiL, and my sister is...JESuS? lol

Anyway.....

Read, love, review, repeat!

Number, kupo,
August Blue