Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Sick Day ❯ Part 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Part 2

 

Morgana Maeve

 

And we're ba-ack! Did'ja miss me? Oh yeah, Demyx's bringing sexy back!

 

I don't why I just said that…it was a WTF moment brought to you by Morgana Maeve.

 

Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue, and we'll all be happy. Squeenix and Disney own everything!

 

.::oOo::.

 

Meanwhile, as Saïx contrived bloody revenge, Demyx was having thoughts of his own, though his thoughts were a far cry away from dismembering Axel with one of Marluxia's rosebushes.

 

Not to say that Demyx didn't think of Axel, though. Besides power chords, Axel was the most predominant thought in Demyx's head, and many an hour of nonexistence had been wasted away thinking on Axel and messing around with the sitar. Which was rather dangerous, considering that to play mad riffs on said instrument, one must move one's hand on the neck of the sitar in an up and down fashion, and when thinking of a certain red-headed Nobody at the same time…

 

But at the moment, Demyx's thoughts were more tuned to finding a way to stop the bloody massacre of helpless fables and timeless classics that was taking place before his very eyes before things got too out of hand. (As if they hadn't gotten out of hand already. But he could still try to salvage it.)

 

Unfortunately, certain other Nobodies, namely the sadistic one, really didn't want the fun to end. So when Demyx reached down to rescue the problem-causing book and restore order to the best of his ability, Larxene swooped down off her perch on the back of a random chair and swept the book back up with her. Idly, while Demyx stayed frozen on the floor, she flipped through the pages, pausing every once in a while to scoff at a few sentences or yawn in boredom.

 

And then, she stopped. Her eyes moved across the page, reading, and then she flipped pages backwards, reading the title. And then she smiled, wolfishly, at Demyx. He froze more, if that was possible. She stood up, tossing her hair back, those weird, antennae-like bangs quivering. Demyx tried to crawl for the door, but he was too slow, and Larxene's high, clear voice broke over the fray.

 

“As it was, however, the beast wasn't really a beast, as Riding Hood found out when he finally noticed the incongruous zipper in the front of the beast's costume. But Riding Hood only a moment to appreciate the find because, at that very moment, the entire castle disintegrated and they both fell from the cliff where the castle had been built into the choppy waves below them.”

 

From the floor, Demyx moaned, “How did I know it was going to be that story?” Zexion, crammed between the wall and Lexaeus, looked at him curiously, sniffing the air.

 

Larxene continued, even though both Axel and Marluxia were voicing their opinions on her story-telling very loudly. “The beast (who was no longer a beast but a fairly decent looking man) hit the water hard and was instantly knocked unconscious, sinking beneath the dark surface of the water. Riding Hood was dashed on the numerous sharp rocks sticking up through the water.”

 

Marluxia made a rather strangled garble at that last statement and turned purple, while Axel nearly tipped over his chair laughing. “How dare you kill me!”

 

“Your character was annoying. Shut up,” Larxene said shortly, but Marluxia wasn't finished yet.

 

“What are you thinking, killing me off while you let this…this,” words failed him at the moment, “animal live?!”

 

“If you don't like it, you can leave and tend to your flowers,” she told him. “If you're going to stay, then shut up and let me tell it my way. We all had to sit here and listen to you!”

 

“My story-telling ability is much greater than yours, I'll have you know.”

 

“And I'm sure you plants will agree. I'm surprised they haven't just keeled over and died from your monologues about how great you are.” Marluxia deflated, his shoulders hunching forward.

 

“Oh, burned,” Axel taunted.

 

“Be quiet, you anorexic excuse for a Nobody,” Marluxia snapped sullenly.

 

“Number 8, you're anorexic?”

 

“No, I'm not, Superior!”

 

“That would explain the rather feminine figure. Are you certain your Somebody was not a woman, Number 8?”

 

“Superior!”

 

“Axel's hips don't lie”

 

“Stop laughing, Xigbar, before I burn that smirk right off your face.”

 

“In three seconds, if you all don't shut up and listen to me, there will be mass carnage, and it won't be at the hands of Saïx,” Larxene warned, electricity crackling at her hands. She clearly didn't like being ignored.

 

Everybody shut up quickly, except Marluxia, who was sulking off in a corner and muttering. A lone bolt of lightning illuminated the room, and there was a surprised yelp, ending in an ominous sizzling sound. Everybody froze, too afraid to even cough from the last of the electric tendrils floating around in the air.

 

It was Xemnas who finally broke the silence. “Number 12, you did not just kill Number 11, did you?”

 

“It wasn't enough to kill him; he should be fine,” Larxene answered, looking at her nails. Underneath the covers, Roxas burrowed further down, wondering if they were adequate protection against crazy women who could control electricity. They were fireproof, maybe that meant they were electric-proof too.

 

“Anyway, back to my story.” Demyx wished a portal would open up and swallow him. He knew where this was going. “So Riding Hood lay on the rocks, dead and bleeding, and the wolf came by and brought the remains back to his lair to give to his master to use for scientific experiments.”

 

“I object to that, Larxene.”

 

“Live with it, Vexen. And the guy, since we can't really call him a beast anymore, was sinking quickly in the turbulent waters, scaring the fish, unconscious to the fact that he was inhaling water and would soon drown. He was too stunned from the initial impact to do anything. Luckily though, he was saved.” She paused for dramatic effect, and everybody, with possibly the exception of Xemnas and Saïx, leaned forward.

 

“Don't do it, Larxene,” Demyx prayed softly, but when she looked at him, her mouth curled into a smirk, and he whimpered like a kicked puppy.

 

“He was saved, by a mermaid. Well, actually, it was more like a merman when you consider it.” Everybody turned to look at Demyx.

 

As it always seemed to happen when Demyx was involved, silence reigned supreme for a few seconds.

 

Then the roar of laughter descended, Nobodies falling on the backs of their chairs, laughing too hard to even sit up straight, or just sitting down on the floor, laughing so much that tears began to form. And everybody knows that's nearly impossible, since Nobodies have no feelings.

 

“Why do you do this to me?” Demyx asked.

 

“Because it's fun.”

 

“Oh, okay Xaldin, my pain is your pleasure. I can accept that.”

 

“Take it like a man. Or a merman, in your case.”

 

“You guys are lame.”

 

Larxene took control over the situation. “Your hair is lame, Demyx. But anyway,” she continued, ignoring Demyx's crushed look and subsequent patting of his hair, “anyway, the merman, who was messing around on his giant wang-like instrument, just happened to see the guy sinking, and seized with emotion, rescued him, swimming him to shore. Once there, he deposited the body, which was still breathing, don't look at me like that, Axel, and stayed near him for a little, totally smitten.”

 

There were quite a few brays of laughter at this, and Demyx suddenly shouted, “Shut up, Larxene! Please, just stop!”

 

“I've never seen him so upset,” Zexion whispered to Lexaeus. “It must be true then.”

 

“No it's not! She's making the whole thing up!” Demyx yelled, trying to deny everything and failing miserably.

 

“No, no, it's true,” Larxene said, grinning way too hard. “I read it in his journal. Here, see for yourself. I made photocopies.” Demyx froze in open-mouthed horror. Maybe he should just call a wave and drown himself in it. Yeah, that would be a good idea. Too bad he had no control over his limbs at the moment.

 

“Oh my, God, Demyx.” Why did she have to give it to Axel, why? What did his Somebody for him to deserve this? Maybe this was karma for killing those Heartless last week.

 

“Wait, you haven't gotten to the good part yet,” Larxene said happily, handing him more paper. Axel's eyebrows continued to rise.

 

“I want you to shoot me,” Demyx said to Xigbar. “Don't hold back, just shoot me multiple times until I stop twitching.”

 

“What the hell, Demyx? What the hell?” Axel asked, and almost imperceptibly, from the mountain of covers, Roxas started growling. Then he stopped, shocked at himself. Then he began growling again, just for the hell of it. It felt good.

 

“Number 9, these revelations had best not interfere with your duties,” Xemnas said, picking up a stray sheet of doodles, mostly filled with stick figures. “What are…oh, that's just wrong.” He dropped the sheet and shook his head.

 

“Larxene, keep reading. This is funny.” Everybody stared at Zexion, “What, I'm not always emo. I can be happy when I want to be.”

 

“So, the merman, lovesick, decided to go the sea witch and see what could be done, “ Larxene picked up. “But the sea witch was in a bad mood because his lances had been chewed on by his pet eel.”

 

“Wait, I'm the sea witch?” Xaldin sputtered. “If I'm the sea witch, then Xigbar better be my pet eel.”

 

“Okay, whatever. So when the merman asked the sea witch-”

 

“Does it have to be sea witch?”

 

“Yes! Don't question me!” Lightning crackled again. Xaldin fell silent. “Moving on, when the merman asked if the sea witch could help him, the sea witch said sure, but because he did nothing for free, and the merman had no munny, he said he would turn him into a human in exchange for his voice.”

 

“Why would I want Demyx's voice?”

 

“Because.”

 

“Because why?”

 

“Because if you ask for specifics, I'll electrocute you.”

 

“The sea witch wants the merman's voice because that way, the merman can't tell the guy that he was the one who saved him,” Demyx supplied quietly from behind Lexaeus. The poor, quiet man had his uses.

 

“You've read this one a couple of times, haven't you?” Saïx asked. Demyx blushed, and it was answer enough.

 

“Yeah, what Demyx said. So he made the deal, and the sea witch changed him into a human, but he also sent his pet eel to spy on him, because he didn't really want the merman to be happy. But as it turned out, the eel didn't have to shoot the merman because the guy, who hadn't realized the merman had saved him, was making eyes at the blonde prince of another castle, and ran off with him.”

 

“See, Roxas, nothing can hold us apart.”

 

“Don't get any ideas!” came Roxas's muffled voice. “I'd rather you'd have drowned. She must be talking about Luxord.”

 

“You two shut up, we don't have time for this.” Larxene's voice held no pity. “The merman was understandably crushed, and the sea witch told him that if he killed the guy, he would allow the merman back into the ocean. Apparently, there's a rule that says once a merman has turned into a human, he can't go back to being a merman or the others will rip him apart and give him to the sharks, and besides, a merman can only stay alive as a human for three days.”

 

“You know, Larxene, those are the kinds of things you state at the beginning to the story.”

 

“Who's telling this, me or you, Vexen? But the merman, who was so totally in love with the guy, couldn't bring himself to kill him, who, by the way, was sleeping right next to the little blonde prince.”

 

Axel's grin illuminated the room.

 

“Stop giving him ideas,” Roxas warned, wrapping the covers around him. Ha ha, Axel, they can't be burned off. Eat that.

 

“So what happened to the merman?” Vexen asked. Then he added, “I wonder if we could go to Atlantica? I'd like to find one and examine it.”

 

“That's creepy,” Xigbar said, and Xaldin nodded his agreement.

 

“The merman,” Larxene finished, “died and turned to sea foam.” Zexion looked crushed and reverted back to his emo self, Demyx wished he really could die, and Axel began to underhandedly attempt to burn the sheets protecting Roxas.

 

.::oOo::.

 

Yes, I support Axel/Demyx. I also support Axel/Roxas. In fact, I support Axel/Demyx/Roxas as well. I'm so disloyal to my OTPs.

 

Sitar innuendo, really, my humor is not fit for public exhibition.

 

Oh yeah, and the merman thing is sort of a hybrid of Disney and the original story. The mermaid really does die at the end of the original. It was quite sad, actually. Nah, not really.

 

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