Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Untitled Notepad ❯ Guitar Chords ( Chapter 5 )

Ch.5: guitar chords

 

-I really don't feel like doing an a/n right now, so screw this.

 

 

Kairi stared at Yuffie's room with wide eyes. It was the exact opposite of hers- a complete mess, but it still managed to look so…cool. On the walls were movie and band posters (most of which she didn't even recognize), and there were clothes spilling out of every orifice of the room. There was a giant rainbow flag on the door, and two bookcases filled with moves, videogames and CD's.

"It's a little cramped" Yuffie said as she threw stuff off her bed, "but I can just move some stuff and I'll be fine".

"Eh...okay, thanks" Kairi muttered as she climbed onto Yuffie's bed as Yuffie sorted out some space on the floor. Kairi didn't even recognize any of the movies Yuffie had. `Maybe that's a sign I need to get out more?'

'I wonder what Rinoa would have to say if she saw me in her girlfriend's bed?' Kairi thought as she stared up at the ceiling, which was also covered in photos and pictures.

 

One in particular caught her eye.

It was of Yuffie, who looked about five, and Rinoa, who looked a little younger than Yuffie did now, and a man and a woman.

"That's us and my parents before they died" Yuffie explained once she caught sight of Kairi staring at it. “I don't remember who took it, though. Ugh! Look at me, wearing overalls! I swear to God my parents put me in that. If it were up to me I'd have been wearing fishnet stockings and a barrette.

"How...did they die?" Kairi asked silently, dodging Yuffie's bad attempt at a jest.

"Well, it's a little personal, even for me. Sorry, but I don't feel like explaining to someone I don't know about my dead parents.”

"I-I'm so sorry!" Kairi exclaimed, "I didn't mean to intrude, I-"

"No, it's fine" Yuffie said, laughing. “I'm joking! Jeebus, you should've seen the look on your face! I'll tell you, Kairi, but just give me some time. It's kind of hard now.”

For an instant Kairi felt like she'd cry. The look on Yuffie's face was so moving. The whole time she'd known her, or whatever it was they were doing with each other, Kari had never seen the other girl look so…lonely. She'd never seen much genuine emotion at all on her face, honestly. She just seemed like a goofball; Kairi didn't know she had so much to deal with all by herself.

`No, that's just my wishful thinking. She has Rinoa and Tifa to help her. I'm the one who's alone.'

"Things happened kind of fast. We-me and my sister- didn't know they were dead for a few days. She was just taking care of me in the house, thinking they were just going to show up again. Even after we were told, we didn't really believe it. It took a while, but...I guess I've come to grips with it. People die, that's just how it is. At first it was pretty bad, what with us being in foster care and stuff, but once Rinoa turned eighteen we just lived by ourselves. Even now sometimes it's…overwhelming. I barely even knew them. I wonder what my life would've been like if they were still alive. I wonder what I'd be like."

 

Kairi sat up in Yuffie's bed and looked at her. She didn't know whether or not to say something- if there was even anything appropriate to say, that is.

Yuffie had her head turned, so Kairi couldn't tell if she was crying or not. "Yuffie...”

"Aw, no one likes to hear that sappy kindsa stuff! So, do you like music?"

Kairi nodded, wondering how Yuffie could just change her mood so suddenly like that. There was no way she could've just gotten over it that fast; she must've been putting on a brave face because Kairi was there. `Why would she do that…?'

"You know" Kairi blurted, "my parents...I don't have any either. Well, I do, but...they ignore me. They act like I don't even exist. Whenever I'm in the same room with them they won't even talk to me. I try to talk with them, but..."

Kairi paused as tears formed in her eyes.

 

"I think...they hate me. I h-have to remind them that I need money for lunch or new clothes or anything! Sometimes when I'd go over to Sora or Riku's house for a long time, they wouldn't even notice! E-even their friends didn't know they had a daughter until they'd come over and see me! All they care about is my sister, and she's not even-!"

Kairi was crying now, but she didn't feel embarrassed in the slightest. If Yuffie wouldn't bring herself to cry then Kairi would do it for her.

"It just makes me so mad...when I see other kids who supposedly hate their parents when all their parents do is care about them! I would give anything to hear my mom say that she cared about me, or ask me how my day was! B-but she doesn't! She doesn't even care! I could die and she wouldn't notice!"

 

Through her reign of tears, Kairi could hear a gentle strumming sound. Looking up from the bed, she saw it was Yuffie playing her guitar.

Looking up at Kairi for an instant before looking back down at the chords, Yuffie smiled and said:

"It makes me mad, too."

Kairi felt more tears stream down her face as Yuffie began to play again, gently strumming her fingertips over the chords of the guitar. The music was soft, but somehow sorrowful.

 

It was as if Yuffie felt Kairi's pain as her own, and was expressing that through her music.

Kairi laughed quietly. Yuffie stopped and looked up, her bangs falling all over her confused face.

"What? What is it? My guitar need tuned…?"

"No, no, it's just..."

Kairi couldn't put her feelings into words. They were too pure, too perfect to be crudely molded, and that's was just fine with her.

 

She didn't want the night to end, she wanted to be able to stay the same forever, to be able to let quiet tears of remorse and bitter realization run down her face without feeling shame. Yuffie stood up and propped her guitar against the wall.

Smiling, Kairi closed her eyes and let herself fall onto the bed. If her life would ever end, she wished it would end now, so she could go knowing that for once in her life she felt free, for once in her life she felt happy.

She could feel Yuffie crawling on the foot of the bed but didn't care.

The whole world could've collapsed around her right then and there, and she wouldn't care.

 

And, as Yuffie's lips met hers, it did.

 

 

_______________________

 

I don't know anything at all and I'm somebody else It could take years to find you, it could take years to find myself And I don't need to hear your answer I just need you to see That I think it's time to break down these walls that we throw up Am I still breathing have I lost that feeling Am I made of glass `cause you see right through me.

 

 

 

Kairi's eyes fluttered open. Gross…she'd drooled all over her own face (she'd told herself she'd stop sleeping on her stomach, but it never turned out that way) and all over her giant rainbow pillow. Rainbow pillow?

`I don't have a rainbow- oh…oh, no…crap….'

Once she realized it wasn't her pillow, she pieced together where she was. And what had happened. And what she wanted to happen.

`What time is it?' Kairi thought, sitting up in Yuffie's bed and rubbing her eyes to oblivion.

It was light out...morning.

Morning?

Sitting bold upright and looking around the room, she realized Yuffie was gone. 'Oh my gosh!' she thought as she brought her hand to her lips.

'She kissed me! I kissed her! We kissed each other!'

For a moment Kairi sat there in a panic, not knowing whether to run downstairs and out the door, or to run downstairs and into Yuffie.

So they'd kissed. Nothing else happened! It didn't really mean anything! “Oh, that's the lamest excuse I've used yet. Of course it meant something. It still does mean something- I'm totally gay. I'm a big huge…gay person. Ugh. She has a girlfriend! I have…a bunch of excuses of why I shouldn't even be talking to myself about this! Good God I'm talking to myself!”

She liked Yuffie kissing her. She wanted to kiss her again. And again and again and all the agains she could think of. `I guess that settles it…no more trying to write it off now. I like her. Well, this is great. It's not like I can talk to her or anything…'

 

Then, as if on cue, the door opened and Yuffie walked in, full of bounce and acting completely normal. "Oh, you're already awake!"

She was carrying a tray with a bowl of frosted flakes on it, a light-saber spoon sticking out at an odd angle. She was wearing the same clothes as last night.

"Eh...I'm not the world's best cook, so I figured I'd just bring you breakfast in bed Yuffie style."

Setting the tray down on the foot of the bed, Yuffie said "Ellone bought one of those gas jug thingies and filled the car up so I could take her home. Rinoa, however, is still asleep on the floor." She wasn't even looking at the other girl- it was like she was making it an obvious point to gaze at the tray like it was some long lost lover.

 

Kairi stared down into the bowl of frosted flakes, not able to look Yuffie in the eye.

What would she say? 'Hey, did you know that was my first, and probably last, kiss'?

Not likely. `God I'm such a looser…'

Yuffie stretched and smiled, this time glancing down at Kairi before shooting her sight to the window, which didn't even have it's blinds drawn. She wasn't doing a very good job at all.

"Well. It's nine in the morning, Tif will be back in a few hours, and there's plenty of gas in the car so I can take you home whenever you want."

She got up and turned to go through the door, snagging the tray as she left.

“Yuffie?”

“Huh?”

“Oh, uh, nothing, I just…thanks, I guess.”

Yuffie had her hand on the doorknob, her shoulders hunched and, again, wasn't even stealing a glance at Kairi.

Kairi's hands were clinched to the little dumb cereal bowl, angry that she didn't know what to do or what to say. Why had Yuffie even kissed her? To tease her? Was she some kind of sick science project? `Is she just like Irvine? Just messing around with my head?'

“….”

“Um, well, I need to get dressed and stuff…I didn't really get any sleep last night…” Yuffie mumbled, rubbing the back of her neck and laughing nervously. Nervously?

“You know Kairi…I'm having this little thing next in a few weeks… just with some people I know…do you think…I mean, I'll call you or whatever…I guess…”

She glanced back, smiling that usual smile, only with much more falter. Their eyes met and both their blushes deepened.

“Good night, good morning, good-bye Kairi.”

“See you later.”

 

No more words came out as Yuffie left and quietly shut the door behind her.

 

I don't know who I am and you're the only one who sees that I can't ask these questions that cannot be answered today And even if everything goes wrong and we start to fall apart I will understand where you are, I will understand this by myself

 

__________________________

 

"Ha ha! That was one wild night, eh Yuff? Irvine really tops himself every time, right?” Rinoa asked as she and Yuffie drove to Ellone's house the next day, the former more exited than the latter.

"Yeah, sure...” Yuffie said, not at all interested in what the other girl was saying. “I guess. I didn't even see what you were doing; you were all over the place. And I, um…yeah, it was fun. We should go again.”

Rinoa leaned across the seats and kissed Yuffie on the forehead, laughing about something the other girl didn't really have the energy to think was funny. In fact, she didn't have the energy to think anything was funny at the moment (there are firsts for everything).

Kairi.

She couldn't get her out of her mind. That red hair, that small body, those tiny lips…

This was bad. She'd kissed Kairi even though she was going out with Rinoa, whom she cared about deeply. She also cared about Kairi a lot. A lot more than she should've, really.

Defiantly bad.

 

She wasn't going to deny it, she liked Kairi.

But that didn't mean she didn't not like Rinoa.

Sure, Rinoa was a bit (a big) of an airhead, but Yuffie still had feelings for her. Rinoa was her first girlfriend, her best friend ever, her everything. But then there was Kairi.

She was pretty sure Kairi liked her back.

After all, if she didn't, she wouldn't have kissed her back, right? Kairi didn't strike her as the kiss and run type. Or the kiss type, honestly.

`I really need to stop this train of thought. It's already gonna suck balls having to see her in school tomorrow…'

Pondering her thoughts, Yuffie drowned Rinoa out as they continued their drive. Every time she thought of Rinoa, or even heard her voice, Yuffie felt her chest caving in.

 

'How could I?' she thought miserably as Rinoa gushed something about Ellone.

'I've never cheated on anyone in my life!' she thought, gazing out the passenger side window.

Would she tell Rinoa?

'I think I have to' she thought as Rinoa sang along with the radio, nudging Yuffie with her elbow and urging her to sing along.

'She certainly didn't do anything to be cheated on. I can't believe...'

As Yuffie wallowed in her thoughts, Rinoa pulled the car to a halt.

“Yuffie?”

“Huh?” She felt like crying. She cheated on someone she loved. All in all, she felt pretty damn low. This was one of those things that didn't go away, either. It would eat and eat away at her until there was nothing left and she would have to tell the truth. She couldn't even bear to look Rinoa in the eye- it was like she knew just by looking at her. `I'm completely despicable…'

“Are you okay? You've been all quiet all day.”

“M' fine.”

“….Are you mad at me for getting drunk at the party? If I'd known it was such a big deal I wouldn't have done it, you know. I don't want you to be mad over something like that.”

“….”

“Yuffie, I love you. What's wrong?”

“Nothing's wrong! God, Rinoa, I just…I'm just tired since last night, alright? I'm sorry. Just let me wake up a bit, okay?”

Rinoa didn't say anything. The poor girl looked confused. That's when the waterworks did start. Turning her head Yuffie pretended to have something stuck in her eye. She was officially an ass. A big, Irvine-sized ass.

“….”

“You can just go get Ellone, Rinoa, I'm sorry. I'm just sleepy or whatever.”

“….”

“Seriously; It's alright. I'm not mad.”

“Why won't you even look at me?”

“….Ellone's probably waiting if you called her, you know.”

"Wait here!" Rinoa snapped, throwing the car door open. “I just try to ask why you're upset and you feed me crap about being tired. Bullshit. I know you better than that and you know it. When you're feeling mature enough to talk about it tell me why don't you?”

The car door slammed kinda hard.

It was only nine in the morning and already Yuffie was nodding off.

 

And I don't need to hear your answer I just need you to feel Like there are no boundaries at all Today, I don't mind today I don't matter today And how far have we come, too far to throw away the past Will you be there waiting for me I have to ask what we are, if I ask today it just won't last So I'll be here waiting for you Will we ever feel this good again?

 

 

When Kairi's eyes opened Yuffie's fingers were intertwined with hers, her eyes staring down at her with a mystified expression, undoubtedly the same one she had on her own face. That wasn't exactly what she wanted to be seeing- she didn't have any clue what had just happened. Yuffie's body on hers, Yuffie's lips on hers. Oh God.

“…”

Yuffie's eyes widened a bit and she leaned upwards, rolling off of Kairi, making some indistinguishable sound. Oh great, Kairi was completely lost and so was she. Yuffie was supposed to know what she was doing. She was the experienced one. She wasn't the same as Kairi- she knew what she wanted and she was confident and…

Without another glance at Kairi, Yuffie slid off her bed and left the room, silent as stone. Yuffie was never silent. “….”

For what must've been forever, Kairi laid in the same position, staring at the door and wondering just what the hell she'd done. “…Hopeless…”

Brushing her fingers over her lips, she couldn't really find any reason to not want to go to another one of Irvine's parties.

 

 

-I realize this chapter is short, but it would've lost its magic if id have just dragged it on forever. so....that was actually a very good chapter. Has anyone read that one manga, Mars? It's very good. One of my friends cried when she read the first volume. For some reason, as the story goes on, Kairi's becoming more and more like me. Weird. At first it was only a little, but now its like we're practically the same person. The song used is Made Of Glass by Trapt. Not me.