Kyou Kara Maou Fan Fiction ❯ Forgotten ❯ Gaping holes ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer: Kyou Kara Maou does not belong to me and I make no money from this work of fanfiction at all.

Pairings: Wolfram and Yuuri, others mentioned.

A/N: Updates are going to slow down in the near future, due to NaNoWriMo. I’m going to participate this year, but I will see if I have enough energy to update this as well. Warning, once more: written for shit and giggles. I am hoping to get these two together without it being too contrived. However, there is part of me that wants to turn this into something on the grandiose scale. I’ve noticed that in this show very few details and foreshadowing go to waste, and part of me is wanting to take those and run with them… but I had originally wanted this to be a romance. Go figure. Let’s see where it takes me.

Thank you all for the reviews. Wolfram faints whenever he attempts to recall that year because he literally shorts out. He cannot recall Yuuri with his conscious memory, period. He willingly gave them up. He stops until he reboots, as it were.

Yuuri had nearly run out of his office-

When Murata grabbed him by the back of his uniform and hauled him back in.

“I hate to remind you of this, but you aren’t engaged any more,” Murata pointed out with a bland smile. Yuuri’s death glare would have made his Maou-self proud.

“In fact, considering that you’ve made no moves at all, he might even enjoy the attention of a pretty girl like that. After all, they were childhood friends.”

Yuuri wondered if he should start another round of the buggy dance. It was just-

“Is this supposed to be a subtle way of pointing out that I have feelings for Wolfram?” he asked, tone dry.

“I would have hoped you’d figure that one out on your own. But you have to admit, he really has no reason right now to stay with you- songs and tears aside. You’ve not shown any interest, at all.”

Yuuri’s jaw set- then he nearly fell over. “But I don’t- dammit, Murata!”

“Think carefully, Yuuri. What do you want right now, beyond anything else? Forget words, duty- what do you feel so strongly in your heart and your gut that you have no choice but to move?”

The young king shivered. Closing his eyes and holding his breath, he let his mind drift.

His hand reached out, upwards, and he could feel someone grabbing his arm.

“Then I will fall with you.”

He felt the breath catch in his throat.

“You can cry.”

Opening his eyes, he looked at Murata. His chest heaved as he tried to breathe past the tears. “I don’t want to love him,” he said accusingly.

“I never recalled our hearts giving us much choice.” He could have sounded sarcastic, but for once, Murata sounded almost compassionate.

“But I don’t want to believe it,” Yuuri said, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. It was like now that he had admitted the feelings could be there… They didn’t want to stop. Small memories of Wolfram, things that could no longer happen…

“I don’t want to love him- he doesn’t remember me.”

“Not consciously. However, he tried so hard he nearly passed out.”

Yuuri brightened. “You think, even without his memory…”

“Emotions that strong don’t die,” Murata said, and sighed. “He just doesn’t remember them. They can be supplanted,” he pointed out- and then pointed to the window. Yuuri was getting the impression he had been had, somehow, as he went over to the glass.

Yuuri felt his heart clench when Wolfram didn’t snap or snarl.

“Imouto,” Wolfram stated, and Elizabeth called back, cheerfully. She was carrying a practice sword with her, which she waved under his nose.

“What a babe,” he heard Murata sigh from the background. Part of Yuuri could agree- she was a beautiful woman. Her figure was generous and she was an excellent swordswoman… And dammit, that stupid Wolfram was talking to her like they were best friends, and they were starting a match and- that cheater!

She was laughing and talking and they weren’t fighting like they had been over him…

Yuuri sat at his desk and let his forehead hit the wood before him.

“Murata… you would tell me if this was some kind of instant karma for every single time that Wolfram thought I was cheating on him, wouldn’t you?”

Murata stuck his tongue out. “I could, but that would ruin all your teenage angst.”

“You’re a jerk, Murata.”

“Well, what are you going to do about it now?”

“What can I do?” Yuuri yanked on a handful of his own hair.

“Well, here is a radical idea: you could talk to him. You didn’t know he could play the piano, did you? You could always make him try playing base ball. Just-“

“I get it.” Yuuri sighed, folding his arms on the desk and resting his chin on his arms. “I should actually pay attention to him instead of running to the other room. It’s just… I never thought he’d be gone…”

“We usually miss things that are dear to us only when they are gone,” Murata was thoughtful. “And Wolfram was a brat. But he followed you everywhere, was always the one attempting to make the romantic gestures…”

Yuuri tried to pull his hair out again. “I don’t," he stopped. “I do? Did I admit I wanted to go on a date with Wolfram?”

“If you hadn’t, you just did.”

“ARRGH!” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  

Wolfram grumbled, as he danced around the practice field with his adoptive little sister, and wondered at her sudden visit. The two had not spoken since before the war, back when they were first starting to learn the sword.

She was smiling, and seemed absurdly happy about something.

“I heard you’re a hero now, Oniisama,” she said, chuckling. “You saved the Demon King.”

Wolfram blinked. “I what? Aniue and Conrad told me I had saved the kingdom, but they didn’t say I had saved the Maou…”

“I had heard you saved him and lost your memory,” she said, feinting at his side. Wolfram didn’t fall for it and managed to catch her blade as it descended on overhead.

“I don’t remember- well, they told me I’d been sick,” Wolfram said, sighing. The fight was no where near what either of them was capable of- they were both showing each other their newest moves.

“They didn’t tell you that you’d been engaged to his Majesty?” she asked, and Wolfram frowned.

“What did you say?”

“You’d been engaged to Heika,” she said, confused. “Well, from what I’ve been told, it was an accident.”

Wolfram blinked, and shook his head. “I’d remember something like that, no matter how sick… What were we talking about?”

“About your engagement to the Maou.”

“Engagement?” Wolfram felt woozy. The fight continued. It crossed his mind that lately he’d had trouble concentrating on his fights.

“You were engaged to the Demon King- and when I came here to fight for you-“

Wolfram dodged to the side, and attacked harder. “Please stop it.”

Elizabeth continued, unabated, blocking and striking.

“You interfered in our duel. You fought for him, saying it was because he was your king-“

“Elizabeth, I can’t hear you, please stop it,” Wolfram said, then croaked- she managed to get in a flat whack to his ribs.

“But you were lying. I know you were- you really love him. You just can’t say it-“

Wolfram crashed into her, throwing her to the ground, raising his blade high in the air.

“I can’t hear you! Stop it now! Stop it!”

“Wolfram, what are you doing?” someone shouted, but Wolfram didn’t pay any attention. Elizabeth was saying words he could not hear, and his soul screamed at her to be silent. He had to stop her. If he heard more, his heart would break again and he wouldn’t even know why.

“Elizabeth, please be quiet,” he begged, sword arching downwards. He had to stop her because whatever it was she was saying- she couldn’t finish.

“Wolfram, stop it!”

His brother’s sword was between him and Elizabeth- but she was staring at him in fear. Black clad arms wrapped around him behind, and he heard someone chanting. The same words, over and over again…

“I don’t want to hear I don’t want to hear don’t want to want to want to-“

Wait- he was the one saying that. He didn’t want to hear it because she had said-

He and Yuuri were engaged. But that couldn’t be right because she didn’t say a word and he knew she had said engaged but she hadn’t said a word she had just babbled but he knew she had said engaged-

“You can’t tell me anything because I can’t hear you!” he wondered briefly if he looked as mad as he felt. “There’s nothing to remember!” He was pulled close to someone, and he looked around, wild-eyed. “I don’t remember! He said I couldn’t so I don’t!” His chest heaving, he fell backwards against the person holding him.

The memories were a gaping wound in his heart, because they were not there. He could feel the empty socket they left behind in his heart because he knew something should have filled them.

“I had to lose them, don’t you see?” He was staring at Elizabeth, and his throat hurt. It took him a while to realize he was shouting. “I made a choice!”

He had no idea what he was talking about now, but he did, but he didn’t-

Then Gisela was there- Wolfram stopped struggling, just shaking his head over and over again about how it was his choice, no one else’s, and he didn’t regret it but don’t tell him that because he couldn’t survive it again. He had to forget because forgetting made it easier because if he remembered he’d die.

He didn’t want to die again after him. He looked up at Conrad, who was staring at him with pity and confusion.

“I can’t die again after him because then it never ends and never ends and I can’t hurt him again.”

There was a cloth applied to his mouth and nose, and he breathed in, welcoming the scent that forced back his conscious mind and let him tear away from the mad spiral. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~  

The King’s arms tightened around Wolfram as he went limp against his chest, sagging to the ground.

“What was that about?” he asked, unconsciously arranging Wolfram against his shoulder. The blonde’s outburst had sent the entire practice ground into a tizzy.

“I’m not sure,” Murata mumbled, taking Wolfram’s hand and touching his face. His eyes widened, and he actually looked surprised, before recovering his usual amused expression. “Well, that’s a surprise…”

“What is?” Yuuri wondered about tearing his hair out again. Elizabeth had gotten up, eyes wide- and had left quickly. Berserk Wolfram was not something anyone wanted to marry.

Okay, Yuuri was just plain worried. “What do you think happened?” He grunted, trying to pick Wolfram up and failing. Conrad, silent, came over and hefted him up over his shoulders.

“Wolfram may be a brat- but he’s not a stupid one.” Murata sighed. “His subconscious is fighting whatever happened to him; that’s how stubborn he is.” His smile lacked humor. “Elizabeth talking like that brought up a few things I think should have stayed buried.”

Yuuri blinked. “He was ranting.”

“Oh yes, he was.”

There was a moment of silence as they walked Wolfram to his new bedroom to put him to bed, and give Gisela a chance to check him over.

“Why do I get the chills whenever you say something like that, Murata?” Yuuri whined, but he was more worried about how pale Wolfram was.

They got him to his room, even with Yuuri trying to do the buggy dance a bit more.

“Gisela, what’s wrong? Is he hurt?” Buggy dance ensued while the medic checked his fia- ah, ex-fiancé over.

“He’s a bit bruised.” She looked more than a bit baffled. “His body is fine. We’ll have to see about his mind when he wakes up.”

Murata and Conrad, who had been watching Yuuri hover, looked at each other.

“We’ll leave for right now.”

“But!“ Yuuri paused the buggy dance. “I want to-“

“Stay as long as you like,” Conrad murmured. Yuuri could not see his face, as it was cloaked in shadow. Murata smiled weakly.

“We’ll send in some supper later. Take care of him, okay?”

One by one, Gisela, Murata and Conrad drifted out of the room, and Yuuri settled down enough to find a chair and haul it over to Wolfram’s bedside.

“What are you doing to me, Wolfram?” he asked, staring at the beautiful face. “It used to be so easy to dismiss you as… well, you.” He took Wolfram’s hand, absently noting that his hands were still delicate. He wondered if Wolfram would ever look properly “masculine”, or if he would always look so delicately fey.

Then he groaned at his choice of words.

“I guess getting to know you would be the best course of action, wouldn’t it?” he said, rhetorically. “Its odd though… if I hadn’t slapped you and this hadn’t happened… Do you think we would ever have gotten together? Not that we’re together right now…”

Wolfram’s color started improving, and Yuuri had no idea if his rambling was helping… But he knew that he could heal, so he just kept it up.

“You really are a pain in the ass. You disrupt my sleep, you follow me around like a lost puppy, you whine and complain, and you constantly call me a wimp… But even with all that, I think I knew you loved me.” He swallowed. “I just… wished you could show it nicer.”

“I guess that doesn’t matter now… Did I being stupid and nearly getting killed mean giving up any chance we could have had? Or maybe… Maybe it means we can start over?” Yuuri pulled his hand to his face, and gently pressed it against his cheek. “I told Greta that what you felt and your memory were two different things… I hope that’s right.”

Wolfram’s breathing evened out, and Yuuri sighed. “It’s weird… That I’d even consider this with you, you know? I mean, even with the whole ‘we’re both guy’s’ thing… There are other guys who are more,” and here he searched for a word. “Ideal. And I’m glad you’re passed out because otherwise you’d be trying to kill me right now.” He sighed, and laughed a bit, feeling his eyes start to water.

“But you aren’t like Gwendal or Conrad. You care enough to tell me exactly what you think- all the time.” Wolfram’s hair was pretty, he thought, and reached out to pet it gently. For some reason now that he was letting out those emotions they refused to stay bottle up.

His hands were hovering over Wolfram’s lips- and he really had no idea what he intended to do after that- when he noticed a sliver of green iris starting to show.

“Wolfram?”

There was a moment, as Wolfram blinked slowly, before his eyes fixed on Yuuri’s face. The expressions dancing across his visage were funny- confusion, embarrassment, a flash of anger at being embarrassed, then outright puzzlement.

“Yuuri… what are you doing here?”

The king smiled. “I was here to check up on you. You had another accident in practice. So I stuck around. I was hoping to get to talk to you anyways.” There was an awkward pause as he tried to think of an appropriate way to slide into the next topic.

“I know you don’t remember, but we used to be friends, sort of.” He didn’t really want to lie about how close they were. “We’ve known each other for a while, but we really don’t know each other. Would you mind keeping me company on occasion?”

The prince was baffled. “I don’t know why you would want to be my friend, Yuuri.” His green eyes were open and honest. Most especially, they were sane. Something that reassured Yuuri immensely. “I’m selfish, I’m not the best warrior here, and I tend to lose my temper easily. You could find much nicer company elsewhere.”

“I think that’s why I like you,” Yuuri said, slowly. “You aren’t the nicest person here… If that makes sense.”

“It doesn’t, really,” Wolfram was baffled. “But,” he smiled tentatively, and Yuuri smiled back, watching Wolfram’s face. “If I can make you smile like that again. I’ll do whatever you ask.”

Butterflies spontaneously started the mambo in Yuuri’s belly.

“Then can I teach you an Earth game? It’s called ‘baseball’…”

To be continued.