Kyou Kara Maou Fan Fiction ❯ Kyou Kara Maou Very Secret Live Journals! ❯ Gunter ( Chapter 7 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Kyou Kara Maou, Tomo Takabayashi does.

Summary: Livejournals which expose Kyou Kara Maou characters' deepest secrets, personalities, and desires. WARNING: mad rantings, jealous ravings, and numerous stalkings. Guaranteed to have you laughing your socks off. BEWARE!

Title: Kyou Kara Maou Very Secret Livejournals

Gunter

Post 10: OH SUCH BAD OMENS! BAD! BAD! BAD, I TELL YOU! It turns out His Royal Cuteness was abducted while on his quest to find Gem of the Dragon King due to his Foolish Hero Complex. Not only that, but kidnapper is none other than Farty Fatty Stoffel and his older, more alluring minion, Crowfeet-ah, I mean Raven. Anyway, made war preparations with Gwennie, however civil conflict solved when His Majesty cunningly escaped Farty Fatty's clutches, transformed into Ultimate Demon King Mode With Fetish For Justice and saved the day once again! Yayness and flutter-happies to everyone! His Highness is so clever!

Current Mood: Fangirlish

Comments: Oh, let's not give the kid all the credit now. Half of it goes to me and that that nifty little maid outfit I lent him: winks and waits:

-Yozak

Reply: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! ARE YOU TELLING ME HIS ROYAL CUTENESS WAS DRESSED IN A MAID'S COSTUME AND I MISSED IT? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THIS CAN'T BEEEEEEEEEE!

-Gunter

Comments: Well, I would say sorry for you, but you and VonVoltaire were all involved with your Hostile Takeover Strategy, so it's really your fault. But you can ask Captain or Goldilocks if they know what the kid did with it. Personally, I think they may have had a secret duel over who got to keep them in the end, hehe.

-Yozak

Reply: AAAAH! LORD STALKER AND LITTLE LORD BRAT GOT TO SEE HIS ROYAL CUTENESS IN THAT OUTFIT, AND I DIDN'T? WHY DO THE GODS HATE ME SO? WAAAAAAAAAAH!

-Gunter

Post 11: Summoned His Majesty back to our world once more, as he had been sent back to his other world because of Goldilocks most ungraciously pushing him into fountain. There have been rumors of sightings of a person claiming to be His Majesty in Sevelara floating around. All were worried he had been summoned back by someone else. Fortunately it turns out we had no cause to fear. His Royal Cuteness successfully summoned into ocean where it was discovered he is terrified by sharks. How very odd. Anway, shared with him details of how Demon Flute had gone missing, not specifying that Gwennie's cousin had been sent to find it, so there was really no need for His Highness to go off on quest to locate it. However, once again, Foolish Hero Complex has overwhelmed his senses! Quite unfortunate I couldn't go on journey with him, however, I MUST attend to His Majesty's wet clothes. They'll need to be washed immediately! Of course, there's so much laundry being done here, it's inevitable that someone's clothes will end up missing one day…

TO HIS MAJESTY'S SHRINE! MWAHA!

Current Mood: Elated

Comments: Eh! You can't have his majesty! Yuri Shibuya is mine, all mine... And Wolfy-kins too! X3 I want to keep them on my own personal island which has a big ole' inviting waterfall and hot springs by the dozen! Ooh, and I'm taking away His Royal Cuteness's clothes for my Temples of Yuuri! Hah, see if your puny shrine can beat my awesome temple! Na! Nah!:blows raspberry:

-Diamant Du Feu

Reply: AH! YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY HIS ROYAL CUTENESS'S CLOTHES! I HAD THEM FIRST! YOU'RE NOT EVEN A LEGITIMATE CHARACTER IN THIS SERIES! HOW DARE YOU INTERFERE WITH THE PLOTLINE! YOU COULD END UP MESSING UP THE WHOLE STORY! SO, STOP IT! YOU'RE PLAYING A VERY DANGEROUS GAME HERE!

-Gunter

Post 12: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! LIFE IS UNFAIR! Not only had some stalker attempt to steal His Royal Cuteness's clothes, but also Superior Majesty Celi who actually succeeded! THAT VORACIOUS BLOND BINT! Situation becomes worse. After the Creature Who Spawned Little Lord Brat selfishly stole His Highness's clothes, she had gull to insult them! They do not reek of fish! They smell of His Royal Cuteness's sweet, youthful, nubile body! MWEE! X3!

Could not end up going into Fangirl Mode as usual then, because Lady Anissina appeared with one of her Experiments of DOOM! which happened to be some sort of washing machine. Sigh…NOW I WON'T EVER HAVE THE CHANCE TO CONVIENTLY LOSE HIS MAJESTY'S CLOTHES AND MY SHRINE WILL CONTINUE TO CONSIST OF ONLY THAT DRATTED TOWEL!

DAMN YOU FATES OF LIFE! DAMN YOU!

Current Mood: Am retreating into my Pouting/Brooding/Sulking Mood once more…

Comments: Oh my! Have you heard the news, girls? Rumor is circulating that His Majesty and Lord vonVoltaire have discovered their true feelings for each other on their journey and have run away and eloped!

-Doria (aka Maid #1)

Comments: gasps: NOOO! Say it isn't true! I had half my life-savings on His Highness and Lord vonBielefield conveniently getting separated from the others and having to console each other in their arms!

-Sangria (aka Maid #2)

Comments: Well, Lord vonVoltaire does like cute things. I guess he just fell victim to His Majesty's adorable charm!

-Lazania (aka Maid #3)

Reply: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SPAMMING MY BLOG, YOU YAOI FANGIRLS? GO OVER TO YOUR OWN LJ AND GET OFF OF MINE! INGRATES! I SHALL BLOCK YOU FOR YOUR INSOLENCE!

-Gunter

Comments: Didn't you read what we just typed?

-Doria (aka Maid #1)

Reply: OF COURSE I READ IT! WHO COULD MISS THE WAY YOU SO BRAZENLY WROTE-

OMG! GWENNIE AND HIS ROYAL CUTENESS HAVE TIED THE KNOT?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

-Gunter

Comments: YAY! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! GIRL POWER! XD XD XD

-The Three Maids

Post 13: Am quite relieved. His Majesty and the others have returned from quest with Demon Flute safely in tow and even better: GWENNIE AND HIS ROYAL CUTENESS HAVE NOT ELOPED AFTER ALL! Those lying, vixenous floozies…just wait until I get a hold of them. I SHALL SHAVE THEIR HEADS BALD! I bet they were only jealous of my luscious lavender locks. Those cheeky trollops!

Oh dear. Have gotten self quite worked up. Must engage in Fangirl Mode to relax tenseness from body. Oh, this is where I stand and gaze fondly at the recovered Demon Flute. Sighs…His Highness's sweet lips have been on this instrument…

Is it possible to hole up a National Treasure in my Shrine of His Majesty?

Current Mood: Pondering

Comments: Steal that artifact and I'll have you court-marshalled, Lord vonKrist.

-Gwendal

Reply: Oh, Gwennie, I heard you turned over a new leaf and do not despise His Royal Cuteness so anymore! That is such refreshing news! So…what do you think of me?

-Gunter

Comments: You know, these knitting needles are not only used for knitting.

-Gwendal

Post 14: Once again, His Majesty has been pulled out onto a mission due to his Foolish Hero Complex. This time, he, Goldilocks, and Lord Stalker went off in search of the Demon Stone, which has magical healing powers and had gone missing. My lessons of teaching His Highness the noble history and this kingdom were most rudely interrupted! True, I was making most of it up, but that's how I received my job as an advisor. In politics after all, it's all about the B.S. I mean really, how can anyone believe the rot about clipping your toenails over two eggs medium poached will cure your nose hairs from growing too long. Utter rubbish!

But it's soooooooooo hysterical to see people actually do it and know you are the genius who started it! It's just as good as making up a ridiculous chain letter and watching people frantically follow its instructions.

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!

Current Mood: Vindictively Evil

Comments: Ummm…Gunter-sama? Have you been hanging around Anissina or Gwendal a lot lately? That was waaaaaaaay OOC! And yet…somehow right IC too.

-Maeyu

Reply: I think maybe the Almighty Author has been drinking too much coffee or I have been smelling some of that potion I make for no apparent reason again.

-Gunter

Comments: Ah yes…that would explain it.

-Maeyu

Post 15: His Majesty's quest to find the missing Demon Stone has ended in vain, since lead was merely a replica. However, did get to see His Royal Cuteness transform into Ultimate Demon King Form With Fetish For Justice once more. Am presently with His Highness and others at Farty Fatty Stoffel's castle where previously mentioned has instigated act of sucking up to get on His Majesty's good side, especially after that kidnapping business. Would feel irritated towards Farty Fatty's blatant brown-nosing if hadn't been engaged in anxious fretting with others over Lady Celi's current love interest, Crowfeet. Farty Fatty worried Crowfeet's position will rise over his if marriage is brought into play. Myself, Gwennie, and Lord Stalker are worried because everyone of Her Superior Majesty's marriages had begotten a child and the last one was a nightmare too horrible to be true. No one wants another Little Lord Brat running around, so we put our heads together to scheme up plan to nullify marriage.

On another note, am also scheming up plan to steal Farty Fatty's portrait and statue of His Royal Cuteness. They are both positively scrum-dibbily-umpscious and will be great collection in my Shrine of His Majesty.

Current Mood: Plotting

Comments: Hey Gun-Gun, while you're on this subject, I have a message to give to you. After hours of discussions, my friends and I have decided that the only reason why you call Angl-uh, Wolfram (I have GOT to stop hanging with Yuri!) a brat is because you're jealous of his Greek-God-Like sexiness in which you do not have. Face it. You're just a pathetic Legolas clone. Thou shall not have Yuri nor Gwendal! You hear?! THOU SHALT NEVER!

-GoGothGirl

Reply: HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME IN SUCH A WAY! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW, I MAY BE A LEGOLAS CLONE, BUT I AM DAMN PROUD OF IT! THERE IS NO PATHETICNESS INVOLVED WHATSOEVER!

Blasted spammers. I am soooo Friends-locking this LJ!

-Gunter

Comments: But then who would comment on your blogs?

-GoGothGirl

Reply: FLIPPANT HUSSY! THERE'S NO NEED TO BE SO, SO-TRUE! :sobs: (T-T)!

-Gunter

Post 16: Recently, have been extremely stressed out over His Majesty. First, His Royal Cuteness falls down sand-bear hole at Farty Fatty's castle, along with Gwennie, Lady Celi, Crowfeet and Farty Fatty himself. Lord Stalker had to make big production of jumping right in after him in attempt to steal the glory of rescuing him all for himself. However, I did not give him chance and dug tunnel through the ground strenuously to be rewarded with prize of GLOMPING His Highness after had reached objective. However glee short lived as Goldilocks quite selfish and jealous when it comes to touching His Majesty.

After sand-bear incident, Lady Celi's marriage plans turned out to be another harmless fling, much to everyone's relief. However, stress issues were just beginning. After returning to Covenant Castle, His Royal Cuteness goes missing along with Little Lord Brat. Was nearly aside self with guilt and anxiety. Perhaps His Highness had finally seen right through my B.S. stories about the Great Demon Kingdom's customs and told Gwennie! I CAN'T BE FIRED! I WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE HIS MAJESTY'S KAWAII SELF EVER AGAIN!

WHAT SHALL I DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?

Current Mood: ANGST! ANGST! ANGST!

Comments: Well, Gunter, when you play with fire, you'll get burned. Maybe now you'll use more caution when spouting out ridiculous tall-tales.

-iheartwmpp

Comments: Yeah! Hey, Space-Cowboy! Like, what's in the punch?

-Jinjyaa

Comments: Gun-Gun's a phony! Gun-Gun's a phony! Nah, nah, nah!

-punk princess and eustacia

Reply: SHUT UP ALL OF YOU! I HATE THE WORLD! I AM GOING TO SIT IN MY OFFICE AND IMMERSE MYSELF IN MY SULKING/POUTING/BROODING BROOD WHILE DOING A REMODIFIED VERSION OF “HE LOVES ME-HE LOVES ME NOT” WITH A FLOWER!

-Gunter

Post 17: Pouting/Brooding/Sulking Mood interrupted by guardsman who led me to Anissina and her new Experiment of DOOM! called Loved Detector-kun. Apparently, Gwennie had it on and it led him right to me! OH, I HAD NO IDEA HE FELT THAT WAY! AH, MY HEART IS ALL A-FLUTTER! OH, GWENNIE, WHATEVER ATTRACTED YOUR TALL, SILENT, SEVERLY GRUMPY SELF TO MY OWN CHARACTER? Was it my luscious lavender hair? It WAS, wasn't it? Well, I am attracted to your own long, silken ponytail myself! Let us entangle each other's hands into the other's lavish locks and immerse every fiber of our being into the feel of the texture!

Current Mood: Swoonful

Comments: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! LOVE! LOVE! MWAH! X3

-The Three Maids

Comments: Is all right if I kill him now?: left eye twitches erratically:

-Gwendal

Comments: Can't. He's important to the series' storyline. If he dies, you'll have to replace him in doing the pointless, meaningless acts in future episodes.

-Anissina

Comments: Damn.

-Gwendal

Post 18: Am somewhat disheartened. Apparently, Love Detector-kun only locks in on the nearby feelings of strong love. Gwendal was trying to focus on Little Lord Brat's love for His Majesty in order to find them, but apparently my love for His Highness was too strong. Therefore, Anissina transformed Love Detector-kun into Love Magnet-kun, and placed the task of locating His Majesty on my shoulders. My affection for His Royal Cuteness was so deep, Love Magnet-kun's circuits overloaded, but still was able to find His Highness. He and Goldilocks had stumbled upon the Bearbee nest secretly hidden in the castle and had caused the cocoons to hatch.

OH, YOUR MAJESTY, IS THERE ANY THING YOU CAN NOT DO? MY REVERENCE AND AFFECTION FOR YOU HAS GROWS BOLDER EVERY PASSING SECOND YOU ARE IN MY SIGHT!

Current Mood: GLOMPFUL

Comments: Aw, stop it, Gunter. You're embarrassing me. I'm not that great, haha!

-Yuuri (aka Demon King, aka Urine, aka Wimp)

Reply: OH, AND YOU'RE SO MODEST TOO! AH, I CAN HARDLY BEAR YOUR ABSOLUTE ADORABLENESS!

-Gunter

Comments: Hey Yuuri, speaking of affection and boldness, what do you do if someone is harassing you on your blog?

-Wolfram (aka the Adonis of Hotness)

Comments: What someone is harassing you? Are you sure you understood them correctly?

-Yuuri (aka Demon King, aka Urine, aka Wimp)

Comments: ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR, YOU WIMP?

-Wolfram (aka the Adonis of Hotness)

Comments: AH! NO! All I'm saying is that you over-react a lot to harmless remarks!

-Yuuri (aka Demon King, aka Urine, aka Wimp)

Comments: This person leaves his comments anonymous, but he keeps referring to himself as the Absolute Epitome of Power and Awesomeness. He said I was his crispy little chicken nugget and that he would like to dip me in sweet and sour sauce and devour me whole.

-Wolfram (aka the Adonis of Hotness)

Comments: …………………………&# 8230;………………………… …………………………̷ 0;……

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OH MY F(CENSOR)ING GAWD! THAT (CENSOR) SON OF A (CENSOR) (CENSOR)! I WILL (CENSOR) HIM AND THEN I'LL (CENSOR) (CENSOR) (CENSOR) (CENSOOOOOOOOOOOR)

Censor sponsored by the Almighty Author

-Yuuri (aka the Demon King, aka Urine, aka Ummm…not so much a Wimp now)

Reply: I don't mind His Royal Cuteness commenting on an off-topic remark from my post, but…DAMN THE SPAM TO HELL! WHY CAN'T ANISSINA MAKE AN EXPERIMENT OF DOOM! CALLED SPAM-FILTER-KUN OR SOMETHING!

-Gunter

A/N: Haha! Well, here it is, the long-awaited chapter! I hope you enjoyed it! I know I did. I was laughing while typing it. So, Wolfram is up next, and you have NO idea how much I want to invoke my Almighty Author status and block you from commenting, but that just wouldn't be fair. So, fangirls, please leave comments in reviews, but just beware, the Adonis of Hotness probably isn't the only one going to reply, and I'm not talking about me, heehee! Please share with me your fav parts. Thanx for reading!