Legend Of Zelda Fan Fiction ❯ Four Gourds Adventure ❯ One Maid A-Milking ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA
Four Gourds Adventure
by AladdinAbu

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~CHAPTER 2: One Maid A-Milking~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Princess!"

Zelda's nose twitched. "Esmeralda, can't you come back later?" she muttered. "I only want up in time for tea..."

"Princess, wake up!"

Pesky palace servants - couldn't they take a hint? She was so exhausted. Grudgingly, her eyes fluttered open to find a fairy hovering inches from her face. Fairy? Where did THAT come from? "Huh...?"

"C'mon, Princess, you need to hurry! Wake Link, he needs to come, too!"

Link. Something about him... and it came to her in a flash. "LINK!"

But when she pushed herself clumsily to a sitting position and looked over at him, she found nothing betrayed their impromptu tryst - if indeed it had happened at all. The only evidence that anything noteworthy had happened since the fairy left them to find help was the absence of her shoes and a few somewhat conspicuous stains on the chest of her robes and the very bottom of his tunic. Did it really happen?

"Smells funny around here," Navi was commenting as she waited for Zelda to rub the sleep from her eyes. "Anyway, I've been looking for you guys for almost an hour, and trying to wake you up forever, too, so hurry, we have to go meet with Saria!"

"Saria... oh, Link's friend." She shook her head out - less than an hour had passed. Was that right? It couldn't have happened; it must have been her strong desire to keep him safe and by her side manifesting in her dreams. But what about those stains? Maybe they had eaten something really messy before sleeping and she just couldn't remember what it was, but that was a stretch. It seemed more likely that she had been the only one eating, and what she ate was, in fact, quite messy. "Hmm... and I feel funny, now..."

"What are you talking about? It's just the sleep, shake it off!"

At last, Zelda rose to her feet, clutching over toward a nearby tree for support; she stumbled once before catching it. "Okay, okay, I'm up. Now, what's this about Saria?"

"She's in the village, right where we left her, but Mido's refusing to let her come out here to help us; he doesn't trust Link, or me because I belong to Link." The fairy's tone dropped a note. "Mido's always been kind of a selfish jerk about that, anyway... but he's got Saria's best interests at heart, and she's always indulged her friends a little too much."

"Ahh..." Now that she'd got her brain running again and pushed past the strangeness of her and Link's time together (more or less), it began to sink in. "Saria." The other woman. Even though Link had assured her this wasn't the case, she still felt an irrational need to keep Saria and Link apart. "I'm sorry, but Link's exhausted; he can't possibly go meet this... Saria person."

"Oh, don't be dumb," Navi snapped. "Of course he'll go, he wants to make sure you're safe above all else!"

"You can try to wake him, but I don't think it's going to happen," she said adamantly. "I'll go with you to meet Saria, and then we'll come back for Link."

"What?! No way, I already feel like a fairweather fairy for leaving my master alone so long!"

Zelda would not be deterred from a chance to have a few words alone with the girl Link had known all his life. "You said it yourself, my safety is his highest priority - and as long as he's out for the count, I may as well go see Saria. Unless you'd rather let me find Kokiri Village by myself?"

"Ohhh..." The fairy dipped down to bop into Link's face a few times, but as she'd suspected, he scarcely flinched. "You lazy bones, this is no time for a catnap!"

"Told you," Zelda said airily. "He seemed a lot more exhausted than I was."

"I don't get it," Navi grunted as she pulled at his ear with her tiny muscles; Link only grunted and waved a hand in her general direction before rolling over. "He didn't seem this tired when I left... what did you do to him?"

"Me?! Nothing!" She cleared her throat. "I m-mean, maybe you just weren't paying attention!"

Navi came to hover inches from her. "You're acting weird... but whatever. I've come to believe Link can take care of himself by now, so I guess he'll be okay. As soon as we get to the village I'm coming back for him, though, got it?"

"Of course," she said with a smile. The fairy was obstinate, but loving and considerate, to be sure. After debating for a moment, she withdrew the royal signet from her finger, bent down and slid it onto one of his, kissing him on the forehead. "Triforce watch over you, my Hero."

"Yay, mooshy stuff. You ready?"

"Lead the way."

"Fine, fine," the tiny thing said as she floated away in the direction she'd left before, and Zelda began to follow. "But what the hell happened to your shoes?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Wha...?"

Something warm and leathery was nuzzling Link's face. At first, he tried to ignore it, but it became more and more persistent, and when a gust of warm air nearly blew his hat off his eyes fluttered open. Finally, they focused on a brown muzzle, and when he glanced to either side of it at its eyes and markings a familiar tune stirred within his memory.

"Epona!" he said sleepily, raising a hand to the muzzle and patting it affectionately. "Where'd you come from?"

"A better question is," said a musical voice with a light accent, "how'd you get her to come here?"

Painfully pushing himself to a sitting position, he saw over the neck of the chestnut-colored horse a young girl sitting sidesaddle astride its back, her own flowing locks nearly the same shade of brown. Her dark blue eyes were warm, but confused. For a moment, Link wondered if she were an apparition, some kind of good fairy manifesting in his dreams to bring him peace and hope... but something about the way her soft hair outlined her face and her simple cotton dress reminded him of something from this plane of reality.

"M... Malon?" he mumbled. "From the ranch?"

"Oh," she said suddenly, then all at once her sunkissed face stretched into a smile. "The fairy boy from before... I remember you, now!"

"Good," he laughed, standing dazedly. Why were his knees refusing to cooperate? He felt drained... "What are you doing out this way?"

Malon giggled, a bright, bubbly sound. He couldn't help but keep smiling at her, she was always so friendly. "Well, I think that's got more to do with you than me, fairy boy."

"Huh?"

"Didn't you play Epona's Song again?" Her eyebrows knitted slightly. "I mean, I just figured that's why she'd start galloping straight for the forest for no damn reason. I kept trying to get her to turn around and go back to the ranch, but after about the fifth time-"

"Wait... yeah, I did, sorry, but that was a while ag- ago..."

All at once, he figured out why he was so tired. He spun on the spot, searching for Zelda or a hint as to where she'd gone - nothing. This was not good. "Where'd she go?! Oh, crap!"

"Huh? Who?"

"Zelda!" he gasped, glancing downward - there were new stains on the bottom of his tunic, but they mostly blended in with other stains from his long, long journey. Nothing about their surroundings suggested there'd been a struggle, so she could as easily have been kidnapped by a more highly-skilled villain as walked off on her own. "She- we'd escaped, and she was right here, and now- what happened?"

"Escaped?" Malon patted Epona's neck before hopping down, fingers nipping a wavy strand behind her ear. "Hey, you know, I was just talking to Ingo about the black clouds coming from the castle... is everything gonna be okay?"

"I don't know," he confessed, still poking his head here and there. A quick glance at the sky told him nearly two hours had ticked by while he slept. "But if we want to have a hope of saving the kingdom, we have to find- hey, what the..."

Frowning, he slid the signet from his finger and held it up to the dappled sunlight. "That's pretty," Malon said distantly. "Is it... for Zelda?"

"No, it's FROM Zelda," he said, puzzled. "Uh, I mean, it must be 'cause she had it before she- I mean, before we took a nap." Just thinking about what they had done before their nap was enough to rechurn the feelings from before, and with no small amount of willpower he pushed them aside. It was a lot more important that he find her - and the thought that she might be in danger once again made easy work of fighting down the urges. "You haven't, y'know, seen her anywhere, have you?"

"Of course not." She was smiling again, though most of the enthusiasm had left her voice. "But I'll keep an eye out. Good luck."

"Wait!" he said as she made to saddle up again. "You don't have to run off or anything! Can't you stay and help me find her? I'm wiped, and the kingdom needs a princess if we're going to defeat-"

"Sorry," she sighed exhaustedly. "I've got hay to bail, and there's some stalls I ought to muck before nightfall, too. Otherwise, I would."

"I'm sorry," he growled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Guess in all this crisis I forgot other people still have things to get done. Nice to see you again, though."

Why had Zelda left a ring on his finger? Was it a sign that she was in trouble? No, wait - if she were in trouble, she wouldn't have had time to put a ring on him. Link decided she must have gone into hiding alone, and this was her message to him that she hadn't just vanished. At least, he hoped that was the truth of it all - and the thought alone calmed him a touch.

"You feeling okay?"

He had been waiting for Malon to hop back up and ride away, but she stood watching him, frowning. Finally, right about the time he realized he'd been rubbing his neck the entire time and dropped his arm, she said, "Sorry, don't mean to be nosy, but you seem so tense."

"Well, let's see," he said bitterly. "I'm supposed to be saving Princess Zelda, using magical rocks to open the gates of time, and serving Gannondorf's head on a platter. So far, I have the magical rocks."

"Good point, there." She patted Epona's back absentmindedly for a moment, then turned to reach into her saddlebag. "Here, hang on - this will probably perk you up a little."

"What is- oh, Lon Lon Milk!" He grinned. "Thanks, that'll help - I feel like I got ran over by a dodongo!"

"Ahh, the least I can do," she said modestly, kicking at the dirt. After watching him drain the bottle in silence, she said, "And hey, before we go running off to our duties and such... let me try something on you. Might help."

"Sure," he gusted as he handed the empty bottle back to her and she stuffed it into the bag. "I mean, I should get searching pretty soon, but anything you could do..."

She nodded. "My father always told me I'm a natural, but I think maybe he was just trying to butter me up. We'll find out, I guess."

Link waited for her to get something else from her bag, but instead she moved around behind him and clamped both hands down on his shoulders, digging in like knives into steak. "OW!"

"Sorry!" she gasped when he jerked away. "It- you didn't like it?"

"Which part was I supposed to like - the shock, or the pain?!"

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry," she whispered, hands at her mouth. "Don't be mad, I- I didn't mean for it to-"

"Yeah," he sighed, forcing himself to calm. "You said you were trying to help. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"W-well..." She gulped, looking down at her own hands for a moment as if trying to understand why they had chosen to betray her. "Maybe I started with too much gusto. Can... I try it one more time? I promise, I'll go easier, and you'll feel WAY better afterward!"

Link frowned at her. He was pretty sure he didn't want to feel that kind of agony again, but the way he'd yelled at her had apparently hurt her feelings, and that was the last thing he wanted. "Go ahead."

This time, her hands slid over his back and rested on his shoulders for a moment before moving inward. When they reached the flesh between his neck and shoulders she began to knead with fingers and thumb, and it gradually began to feel extremely nice. After several minutes of him allowing his head to loll, she whispered, "Better?"

"OH, yeah."

"So... you're trying to save the princess?" she said conversationally, though both her voice and touch were still rather soft and soothing. "I mean, no offense, but you're just a kid like me. Shouldn't the king's soldiers be out taking care of that?"

"Maybe," he sighed, sinking down to the ground; Malon followed, still working at his muscles. "But if they are, they really stink at it. Zelda also seems to think all signs point to me being a great hero, destined to save the planet."

"A hero, huh?" Her voice was closer to his ear now, but she dropped it yet further so as not to inadvertently blast his hearing to smithereens. "You and your fairy, I guess. Must be tough, you against the world - your muscles are knotted up pretty bad."

The relaxation that came over Link was so complete that he almost fell straight back into her lap. "Yeah, but Navi's supposed to be out searching for the old village, so she'll have a place to hide from Gannondorf. Say... maybe I should head there? Navi could help me find Zelda faster, even if she's not already there."

"Oh? You're... leaving already?"

He turned to tell her he was, but when he did so her arms remained in roughly the same position, which draped them over his shoulders. For a moment, he was stunned at the nearness of the vivid, dark pools of her irises and the all-too-familiar look of unshed tears gleaming in the corners. Her breath caressed over his cheeks and chin, and her eyelashes fluttered nervously when she registered how close their faces really were. "Malon, I- yeah, it's-"

"Don't go," she breathed, her fingers brushing his face briefly. "I m-mean, I know, but- don't hate me, but I kinda wanna stick around a little longer. You said we could look for her together, right? Don't pack me off to the ranch just yet."

"Malon, what's wrong?" he ventured. "Is that Ingo trying to give you a hard time or something?"

For a moment, her mouth twitched, and she tried not to meet his eyes despite their proximity. Then she suddenly cried out, "It's everything!" collapsing against him and burying her face in his shoulder. "I m-mean, I'm doing fine, I guess, but all I do is work, work, work, and what does Father do? Nothing! Sleep, and play with his chickens! Ingo pulls his own weight, but at the end of the day I always end up picking up everybody's slack!"

"M-Mal-"

"And I have dreams of my own, y'know! I wanted to be a singer, wear pretty ribbons and dresses and brighten people's day with my voice - or else get out and see the rest of the world, maybe find my true self along the way!" Her hands clutched at his back as she laughed wetly. "I w-wanted a knight in shining armor to sweep me off my feet and carry me to his faraway palace, someplace magical and amazing - someplace that's not a boring old ranch. What a dumb dream, right?"

"I don't think it is." Link found himself surprised; he'd been expecting her to smell of horse droppings and hay, but instead all he sensed was a day's healthy sweat and prairie grass, with maybe a hint of lilac. Meanwhile, he wasn't sure he should be smelling her at all - hadn't he just told Zelda they were Best Friends? Or did that not have anything to do with hugging people? He'd hugged plenty of his friends in the past. Either way, Malon was still crying, and he didn't know what else to do. "Without dreams, what's the point of doing anything? You'll never get anywhere if you don't have a goal."

She drew back to look at him again, her expression curious, yearning. "I'm really sorry, but please... what did you say your name was, again?"

He frowned at her in disbelief. Crying all over a person whom to her was a perfect stranger - was she stupid? "Link."

"Link," she breathed, and the way she said his name sent a shiver down his spine. Her hands clutched at the belt holding his sword across his back as she whispered, "It suits you - such a strong, bold, solitary name. Whoever gave it to you knew what they were doing."

"Uhh, yeah," he laughed, standing up. "The G-Great Deku Tree gave it to me. Anyway, uh, we should start looking for-"

Her eyelashes fluttered again, and the extra dose of innocence in her words seemed intentional. "What's the matter? Do I make you... nervous?"

"Um..." Link had been uncomfortable enough before, but now he could tell without doubt that she was trying to get something from him, and though he wasn't sure what that might be, the more advances she made narrowed his list of suspicions. "If I say 'yes'..."

"Link, I'm so lonely," she said more earnestly, standing up to meet him, not bothering to hang back a respectable distance. "Just me and father and Ingo on the farm... we had a ranchhand named Lando for about a year, but he left a couple months ago, and ever since it's been-"

"Gee, that's a shame," he laughed, hoping he didn't sound callous. "I'll be sure to drop by again once I save Hyrule, but for n-"

Her body was now flush against his, arms crawling up his back and pressing him into her. "Come on, fairy boy! Show this farmgirl what kind of men they make in the forest!"

"Malon, I- I-" Link tried his best to put together some words to derail her from what he now KNEW were 'advances', but all he could think about was her hot breath on his neck, her heart beating wildly, and the way her two large mountains of flesh were squishing into his own chest. "I..." Where did THOSE come from? He hadn't been able to tell she had any kind of figure through her dress! They felt multiple times bigger than Zelda's, but they couldn't be - she was so thin and demure, much too petite to have such ample charms!

Then again, unlike Zelda, her face was tanned and freckled from working outside most of her life, and her hands had a slight roughness to them that both teased him and stirred sympathetic pangs at the same time. The captive princess in her royal cage had been sheltered all her life, never able to blossom on her own - did free girls like Malon who had to work for a living become women sooner?

"You have a thing for udders, huh?"

"What?" He started, looking back up into her eyes. Only at that moment did he realize he'd been staring straight down at her chest, and he laughed nervously. "Oh, I- huh? No, no, I'm sorry!"

"You do," she snickered, leaning in yet closer to smoosh them harder into his own chest. "It's funny, but Lando was the same way - only he kept telling me about it every chance he got, trying to get me to show him. You, um, wanna see them, too? That what you're after?"

"I do NOT have any kind of-" Shocked at this new information, he backed up a step, staring down at this extremely brash girl. "Wait, what do you mean? You showed Lando your, your... 'udders'?"

For the first time during this conversation, he could see her face growing warm as that knowing smile shifted into open-mouthed shock, her arms crossed over her chest. When she pressed in with her hands, he could see she was definitely more shapely than her simple white dress let on. "How dare you, Link! Wh- a woman's private affairs aren't something any old person can ask her about!"

Despite his long relationship with Saria, Link had never seen a woman's chest before. At first, it had only bothered him because it was something she wouldn't share with him, which didn't seem fair, but as he came to understand that it was a secret you only showed someone very, VERY special to you on very, VERY special occasions, he'd respected that and left well enough alone. To him, a hired hand you knew for scarcely a year did not count as someone special to you.

"Stop staring at them!"

"Sorry!" he yelped, eyes snapping up to her own, which were flashing dangerously. "I just- I can't believe you'd show someone random guy if they're that private."

"You don't- that's not how it- oooh!" She stamped her boot, glaring at him fiercely and snorting in disgust. "So what if Lando and I had a little fun? What was I supposed to do, wait for my prince to come until I'm old and wrinkly? Or-" Here she made a gagging noise "-or marry INGO?! I'd rather have a pitchfork in my brain!"

Link's jaw was almost to his knees by now. "No, hold on a second - you showed him, AND you had 'a little fun' with him?! And then he ran off?!"

She nodded, scowling. "Why do you think my father fired him? Got caught with our britches down. I was locked in my room for a month, and he was gone before you could say 'See ya, ranchhand!' Some fairy tale ending, huh?"

"So... was he your, um, Best Friend?"

"No way!" She took a deep breath, and by the time she released it her features were more depressed than enraged. "Well, not really... he was okay, I guess. But he could at least make me feel, y'know... like I was important. Like I was a lady, not just another workhorse. No offense to you, Epona." Her young steed merely nuzzled the back of her neck, and the corner of her mouth twitched upward for a second. "At least I have you, old girl."

Link had run out of things to say about this; he still didn't understand why she'd show someone she scarcely liked a thing that was supposed to be incredibly intimate. Still, she had, and he guessed it wasn't his place to argue over it. In light of that, his mind went back to Zelda - a lot of time had passed, and he had no way of knowing how long before Malon happened into this particular clearing Zelda had left it. He decided it was time to begin searching, whether she was going to assist him or not. "Say, you- you don't have to if you can't, obviously, but... but you offered, so-"

"What? OH!" She swallowed noisily, then smoothed her soft hair needlessly. "You... yeah, I did, didn't I? Wow, didn't think you'd hold me to it."

"I'm not holding you to it!" he blurted. "Uh, I mean, you said you had to get home earlier, but- I mean, I just wanted to ask again, before. I'd appreciate it, totally, but if you don't have the time, I understand. Understand?"

"Link," she said in a low voice. "You don't have to guilt me into it. I'm... well, it's no small request, but... but if it's YOU..." He could only nod in reponse, and she smiled warmly. "Can you turn around for a minute?"

"Huh? What for?"

She glanced around nervously. "Come on, please? Don't be so mean."

Shrugging, he turned around and stared in the opposite direction, patting Epona's neck as he waited. Maybe she had to send a note home, telling Talon and Ingo that she'll be late? He heard rustling. Eventually, just as he was about to ask her how long whatever she was doing would take, she whispered, "Okay, I- I'm ready."

"Good," he gusted as he spun to face her. "So I think we sh- WHAAAA!"

One bare knee drew toward the other ashamedly as she stared at her feet, toes overlapping. Her hands were behind her back, and she was biting her lip. Her flesh gleamed in the low light, and he could see the lines where her clothes normally covered her during an average workday; most of her arms were tanned, but her chest, stomach and legs were a few shades lighter and closer to pink than tan.

"Malon, you- why-"

"Don't have to act all coy," she muttered, voice scarecly audible. "You wanted to see for yourself, didn't you? Here I am - all of me."

"Y-yeah," he stammered. Those udders of hers seemed awfully heavy, but they were so perfectly round and full that he pictured himself lying his head against them, imagined how comfortable they'd be. The tiny knobs at the peaks were pointed directly at him, seemed to be calling to him. "All of you."

At the same moment his eyes drifted down to her pink peach, which had the beginnings of a patch of brown fur growing just above it, her hands moved around to cover it. "Well? Are- um, what do you think?"

"Think?"

"My spice rack," she tittered, sounding more nervous than ever now. "I know, they're so big for a girl my age that it's kind of... obscene."

He tugged at the neckline of his shirt. "No, they're- no, Malon, don't worry, they're beautiful! Nice, and, uh- and round!" Was that a good thing? He thought so, but that might be some kind of insult to Hylians.

But Malon grinned, still unable to look up at him. "Thanks." She shifted her weight back and forth for a moment, then said, "Y- if you- I- sorry, I've never been this forward before!"

"What? I mean, uhh..." He closed his eyes for a moment and shook the fuzziness out of his head. "Didn't you said you had with Lando?"

"Oh, with Lando it was him all over me, day and night," she said with a slight laugh. "Well, when Daddy wasn't watching, anyway. But.. it's different when you have to make all the moves."

"Right." Moves? What was this she was talking about now? He didn't have time to think about it. "So, um, anyway, they're really-"

"You-" Suddenly she spun around and presented her back to him, long hair falling into place over her back in slow motion. Her posterior held a nice curve, and a long, thin scar on the back of one thigh drew his attention - what was that? Old riding accident? Before he could inquire, she spoke again. "You can touch, if you want."

"Huh?"

Malon whimpered, again stamping her no-longer-booted foot. "Link, why are you being such a, a... damn it, don't make me be more vulgar than I have to! I'm trying to be a lady about this, here!"

"I- I'm sorry, I- this isn't what I m-"

"You can squeeze my melons!" she said in a rush, voice quaivering. "I mean, if you're curious. Maybe you only wanted to look them over, and that'd be fine, too!"

What should he do? There was a mission to attend to, but she was doing this for him (or so she thought) and he didn't want to insult her. She sounded so lonely, and from what she'd told him about the hired hand, this was how she treated her friends. "Um, I... well, maybe a little, but then we should probably-"

"Okay!" she squeaked. For a second she only breathed quick, shallow breaths, but then she swallowed and repeated herself. "Okay. Just... I'm not gonna turn around, though, but you can come up behind."

Was she really trying to get him to do this? An alarm was going off in his head - the prospect of touching them had seemed wrong enough already, but to do it from behind he'd have to push right into the back of her naked body with only her long, flowing hair between them, and that HAD to be over the line. Unfortunately, he'd already said he would, so forward he moved, and it was only when his hands made it to her arms that she gasped.

"Sorry!" he yelped. "Did I startle you?"

"No," she whispered, one hand reaching up to rub his fingers. "Go ahead."

He could tell she was shivering as his hands roved up her stomach, and though he tried to remain far enough back that he wasn't pressing into her, his tunic still brushed her plump behind. Then he found her chest, and she convulsed. "You okay?"

"Yes," she half-sobbed. "I'm A-okay. Don't worry so much."

He pressed his fingers into her supple flesh, amazed at how spongy and pliable they were. The peaks, which he was used to being small and pointy on his own body, were large and rounded, presenting a rubbery rigidity that was in strong contrast to the velvety softness of the rest of the surface.

"MmmMMMMhh..."

"Huh?"

"It feels..." Her words faded into another moan as she writhed in his arms, her own hands coming up to rest lightly on his wrists, working girl callouses brushing fine armhairs. He'd been about to let go, but her actions seemed to be asking him to continue. "I d-didn't expect it to be so- I- oh, you are magic, Link..."

"Malon, I- maybe we- this is kinda-"

"No more," she gasped out, even as her spine arched. This sent the back of her abdomen into the front of his, and he knew what that might do to him if she kept at it. "This is too much already, I- my stars, I want to keep you here for hours, it's so- so-"

"We can't!" he concurred. "I've got a princess to find and an evil tyrant to gut!"

Another moan preceded her words as she ground harder into him, apparently unable to stop herself; Link's face grew warmer, and his breath came faster. Didn't she have any restraint? Meanwhile, his fingertips had stopped moving where they were, but they remained pressed into her fleshy orbs. "I know, I'm sorry, I- but your hands! Your bold, wonderful- okay, you gotta stop, I can't stop you, you have to do it!"

"Hunh?" He forced himself to listen. "I m-mean, you can't what?"

"You feel too good for me to be able to stop you!" she choked out. "Come on, l-let me go!"

"Okay, I- I'm-" Swallowing his apology, he stepped back fast, and watched in some worry as she fell to her knees, unable to remain standing.

"I think... I think I hate you now," she panted, swaying slightly even from all fours. Link averted his eyes - the tiny red-brown knothole in the middle of her backside was visible, and he was quite sure she didn't mean for him to see it. "No, of course I don't, but... damn, now I'm all worked up, and- and I can't ask you for any more 'cause it would be wrong - horribly, horribly wrong of me!"

"No, don't-" His body felt like it was tingling all over, which made it more and more difficult to figure out what he wanted to say and how to say it. "I mean, yeah, 'cause I gotta... I..."

"But you like them, right?" The desperation was heavy in her words as she spun to face him again, udders swaying, still on all fours like an animal in heat. "My melons, they- it wasn't just Lando being a horny bastard? Do they really feel good to you?"

"S-sure," he said dismissively; the way her eyes were gleaming up at him, face wholly flushed, full chest rising and falling rapidly were only causing the tingling sensation to increase. "C-can't you tell I thought it felt pretty good, too?"

"No, I need- wait," she breathed, arms suddenly covering as much of her bare flesh as she could manage. "Maybe I CAN tell..."

He laughed shakily, wiping the sweat from his brow. "That's great. Now-"

"Link... you were... truly, y-you- it felt that good to you, too?"

"What are you- where are you looking?"

But he knew where she was looking - straight at the bottom of his tunic, where a sizable bump had developed. "AGAIN?! Geez, how many times is that gourd going to stand up today?!"

Malon was inching closer to him, transfixed, but he felt the strong urge to run. He shouldn't be here - she shouldn't, either. She should be back at her ranch, and he should be combing the forest for the vaguest hint of Zelda's location. Even so, for some reason he couldn't explain, the sensation of exposure that was connected to his growing stalk held his feet fast. She reached him and, helpless, he watched as she stroked it through the fabric.

"I'm... I'm attractive?" she breathed. "Really? I'm not just some little milkmaid who only a hard-up cowpoke can love?"

"Malon!" he gasped as she rubbed all around it, his legs, his hips. "You c-can't- what do you mean, only a cowpoke can love you? I love you!"

All at once, she was on her feet and staring into his eyes defiantly, jaw hanging wide open. "WHAT?!"

"What, what?!" he replied automatically. "Is that wrong?"

"Link, you- you're confused," she said quickly, giggling madly as she pressed her hands into his chest. "No, you don't even- we barely know each other! How can you love me?!"

"You're my friend, aren't you?" he half-shouted. "I'd never do anything to hurt you, I have plenty of love for you! Don't you believe me?!"

"Ohhh." A heartbeat later she stood back, smiling a warm, satisfied smile, even though her cheeks continued to glow. "That's what you meant. I see."

Again, he pulled at his neckline; her nearness and nudity hadn't made him any less squirmy. "Of course I did. What else could I have meant?"

Her eyes closed momentarily, cheeks bunched up from her wide, happy smile. "You're such a good person. I think maybe that's why I was drawn to you... because you really care, and you're not just looking for the lewd, crude and nude. Fairy boy is a saint."

"Sure, I, uh... if you say so."

"Great." She stepped toward him, and he was alarmed to notice her hand straying toward his gourd. "Let me take care of this for you, and then I'll help you save the kingdom. How about that?"

Link glanced down at where she was caressing him through his green fabric. Did he trust her? No, he couldn't let himself doubt Malon's intentions - maybe she had misunderstood him a few times, but she had never lied, nor been cruel or harsh without reason. "I don't know... is that really okay for you to do? Take care of my gourd, I mean."

"'Gourd', huh?" Much like Zelda had, she snickered. "Of course I can - and I want to. What are friends for?"

Link had been struggling with that defintion lately. "Then, I guess... I mean..." For some reason, the way Zelda had described the strange actions she had performed on him made him think they weren't the usual way to calm his gourd-stalk into submission. But then, what was? There was so much he didn't know... "Um, so I guess you can do what, uh, whatever you usually do."

"What I 'usually' do?" Her lips pursed for a moment. "Don't make me sound like a common tramp."

"Did I?" But then she laughed, and he laughed with her, completely ignorant of what was funny. "Sorry."

"It's okay." One of her hands moved back up to the mound on the opposite side as she continued to feel along his hip. "Well... there's one thing my former friend always seemed to enjoy - and it took no time at all. Have a seat, um... maybe lean back against that tree?"

Once Link had done so, she knelt before him, pushing his legs apart. His heart began thumping faster and faster - what was going to happen? Should he really be doing this? Then again, the stalk had withered and the gourd hid itself once Zelda had tasted of it - if Malon was about to do the same, it was as good a plan as any. He would be glad when both of them were rid of these interfering feelings and they could get on with their quest.

"Damn," she cooed upon revealing the stalk, eyes widening. "You're so much younger than he was, but... you're probably the same size. I'm impressed."

Was she complimenting him? "Thanks." She was still smiling, so he supposed his guess was accurate. "What... are you going to- ahh..."

Her tongue was already running up and down its length, and in seconds she had enveloped the gourd itself with her lips, squeezing it around the base with her rough-yet-gentle fingers. She was right - he could tell she was moving much faster than Zelda had, so it might come to a conclusion sooner. Either way, he revelled in the sensation, one hand coming to rest on the back of Malon's head.

"Mmm... perfect," she giggled, smiling up at him. "Thanks for letting me do this."

"Why? I should be thanking you," he moaned. "You are..."

"You taste so sweet, too," she said, licking the spout of his gourd again. He heard her swallow feverishly, then twitch slightly as she spoke. "It's really getting me going, I don't... why are you this sweet?"

"Dunno," he panted. He had a feeling he did know, but the ripples of pure joy she was sending through him erased the thought before he could latch on - something from earlier. "You have... wow..."

He moaned aloud for a few seconds as she continued to nip along his hardened stalk with her agile lips, and he noticed her movements were more confident and less carefully-planned than Zelda's had been. It made sense if Malon had done this before; practice makes perfect, doesn't it? Her stubby, oft-broken nails dug slightly into the flesh of his legs as she began to move her head up and down, sliding his gourd in and out of her mouth.

A moment of alarm hit Link when he felt a sharp pain, but she immediately drew back and cried, "I'm so sorry, I- damn, I thought I'd learned better than that! You okay, Link?"

"Yeah," he half-laughed, looking at his gourd; no damage. "What was that?"

"My teeth," she snorted. "Lando was always on me for using my teeth, but I'm much better now than I was."

His finger scratched at his cheek as he laughed more genuinely. "No, don't worry about it; it's all great."

"Actually, there's something else I did that he said was my best trick." The wicked gleam in her eyes sent a chill of foreboding through him. "But I only got to do it for him once... I'd hate to do it for you if I'm not any good."

The gourd's stalk was throbbing regularly, and he could feel his lungs were on fire. This wasn't going away and had to be taken care of, and Malon's teeth were only going to slow them down. "No, I'm up for it. Please, show me."

"That's what I like to hear," she said with a grin. Then, to his complete bewilderment, she rose up and kissed him on the chest, just below the center. "Ready?"

Her quirky smile and expectant eyes almost made him explode with mirth again, but he kept it down to a grin and said, "Anytime."

She continued to look up at him, smiling and breathing heavily through her nose. She was moving, but all he could see was her face - which he didn't mind watching in the slightest. What a beautiful prairie blossom! Every time he saw her, he found himself admiring just how pleasant and cheery she was, and just now those features seemed invigorating and welcoming, telling him everything was going to be okay - better than okay. Everything was going to be perfect.

Then, with no warning, his stalk began to tell him it was time for him to shout. "WH-AAHOOH!"

"Yeah?" She licked her lips nervously as she continued to move, and whatever she was doing felt amazing - a smooth, buoyant sensation was pressing in on his stalk from all sides, and it was stroking him with all its might. "I'm glad you approve."

"What the hell IS that?!" One knee tried to bend into the air involuntarily; Malon held his leg down. "It's the best, it's- wow, I- OOH!"

"Oh! Oh, you can't tell, huh? Here-" And when she leaned back, she gave him just enough line of sight to see his gourd poking up from between her bouncy udders, sliding back inside as she moved. Both of her hands were pressing them against his stalk, making sure he couldn't escape. "See?"

"Ahh!" he half-laughed, half grunted. "I see, I- that's- I never would ha- ha- HAAAAH!"

"Mmmh..." She had stopped moving when his gourd was most visible to crane her neck down and lick the tip of it; the intensity of that made him convulse so much he almost threw her off. "Whoa!"

"Sorry!"

"Nnnh!" He could feel her feet glance off his boots as she spread out to give herself a steadier stance, and once she had, she went at it flat out - moving up and down at such a speed he wondered where she'd been keeping all that energy. "God, yes, I- yeah!"

"Your udders are- are- Malon!" he shouted, reaching weakly for her. It took him a few tries, but eventually he caught hold of one of her peaks and she sucked in an agonized breath, faltering in her rhythm. From pain, or pleasure? Link wasn't sure she knew, either - but she had stopped still, shaking slightly and staring right through his midsection with wide, fearful eyes. He grew concerned after a moment. "Malon?"

"Yes, Link!" Her words were pained, he was sure of it; sweat had broken out on her forehead by now, and her lower lip was quivering. Yet what she said made it sound as if she was enjoying this more than anything. "D-do it - milk me while I milk you!"

Excrutiatingly, he used his legs to push himself further back against the tree, Malon being pulled forward by her grip on his stalk. Then, mounting his effort beforehand, he urged his weakened arms to put both hands on her mounds - and succeded.

"Aiihh!" she cried, shuddering even as she continued to pump him. "That's it! That's it! More - pull harder!"

"Wh-what?" His head was swimming by now as he felt himself building to the end that had made Zelda cough. "No, I- I couldn't do that to-"

"Please!" Tears were already running down her cheeks freely; it was hard enough NOT to pull them while they were constantly moving, especially when he was this deep in the throes. "M-make me- make me feel- make me-"

"Malon, I c-can't, I- I'm gonna- don't ask me to hurt you, I ca- can't- I can't think right!"

"I am!" she screamed, sobbing uncontrollably now. "Hurt me! Make me f-feel bad, I'm a bad girl, pull as hard as you want!"

She wanted to increase the torture. That was insane! Completely at a loss to explain his own actions, he did as she asked - drew her fleshy orbs as taught as he dared, watching as her body moved the tiniest fraction closer to him automatically. Her reflexes weren't enough to deter her desire, and she strained against him, letting out such a shriek that Link almost pounced on her and asked if she needed to see a doctor. In fact, he would have if she hadn't spoken.

"YES! God, yes, yes, YES, do it! Tear my udders off, Link, I- I- LINK!"

He could feel salty water leaking from his own eyes - this was terrifying, but she wanted it. His hands shook as he continued to grasp Malon's peaks like reigns, as he began thrusting up into her chafing cleavage, hips aching to end this and reach that moment of highest pleasure. Then his fingers slipped from the sweat, and she let out a yelp of pure pain when the points snapped back into place.

"Malon, I c-can't do- I can't do that to you anymore! You can't like it, it's hurting you too much!"

"I WANT to hurt, Link!" she blubbered, still pounding away at him with her visibly-red melons. "I AM a common tramp - I'm a filthy, stupid whore! If you don't punish me, I'll, I'll... I'll just keep doing bad things, being worthless! Do it for me, please?! Fix me, Link - fix me with pain!"

The moment was almost here. Abandoning all reservations, he seized her reigns again, yanking them toward him as he bucked into her, his gourd thudding into her chin a few times.

"Ow, ow, ow!" she whimpered, though she never stopped, her hands never left the sides of her chest. "Ow, I- OW!"

"Malon! Malon! Mal- Ma- MALON!!!"

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIGH!"

So many lovely rainbows of pure happiness were swirling around him, clouding his mind, that he almost didn't register the sight of the white fluid spurting up and onto her face, some landing in her eyes and mouth. He dimly watched her continue to pull against his hands, coaxing more and more agony from him until he let go and she fell backward out of sight.

Minutes floated by. He didn't know how many. Finally, when he had recovered enough to sit up properly, he croaked, "H- Malon?"

Worry prompted him to push to his knees, allowing him to find the farmgirl a few yards away, still nude and curled into a fetal position. He noticed her pink peach, which was just scarcely visible from his perspective, had gushed copious amounts of nectar all over her legs and the ground where she had been kneeling. She was still crying.

It took all the effort he had in him, but he crawled hand over fist to reach her, every ounce of guilt that had seemed so distant while she was working at his stalk welling up tenfold. "Malon..."

"Don't look at me. I'm... I'm a wicked girl. You should probably g-get away fast, I've already done enough damage."

"What the hell are you talking about?" he soothed, placing a hand on her warm hip. "You helped me- helped me get rid of my, um, condition. It was great, you can't-"

"I f-feel so evil," she said as she rolled over and buried her face in his chest, voice thick with regret. "I c-co-couldn't stop d-doing it with Lando, and now I- I've done it to you. Made you do bad things. Tempted you."

"Huh?"

"Lando always told m-me it was m-my fault, that I was a 'jezebel' and a 'hussy' with come-hither eyes." Her voice broke down further as she went on. "Daddy seemed to think it was my fault, too... but he got rid of him all the same. Said he'd raise a respectable daughter yet, even if she was already r-r-ruined!"

"Shh," he sighed, running his hand over her hair as she bawled onto him. This kind of stuff was way over his head, so he allowed her a minute or so to let it out, knowing it would most likely do a lot more good than whatever words he could muster. Finally, he kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Come on, that's silly, you didn't MAKE anyone do anything. Lando was the one hitting on you, wasn't he?"

"But he always said it was me getting him riled, and that I had to p-pay for it with pain! And... and then I started to like the pain, too, so I thought he m-must be right; if I needed it that much-"

"NO, Malon. I mean, if you like your udders pulled on that's one thing-" he winced as he said this "-but you don't need to be punished! You didn't do anything!"

A quiet sniffle, followed by a laugh. "Nice of you to say. You're wrong, but... thanks."

"So, um..." He didn't have the wisdom or fortitude to figure her out, so he shifted topics. "How did Ingo take this?"

"Ingo tried to kill him," she laughed, and more heartily now. "Said he didn't need a predatory pervert on our ranch. So I yelled at him, 'cause I missed Lando, but... I didn't mean it." One of her hands clutched more tightly at his tunic. "He hasn't said much to me since then."

"I want to make you feel good," Link said in a rush, unsure of why. It was no lie; he felt responsible for causing her to feel things she had been taught to enjoy by someone who he'd probably run his sword through if he ever met him. She deserved better. "Really good, not from pain. Can... can I make it up to you?"

"What do you mean?" she sniffled. "Trust me, you already gave me what I needed - and I did need it, it's been so long!"

"But I want to... y'know, taste your peach."

"My what? Oh, you mean- WHAT?!" He could see her throat moving as she tried to swallow; even more obvious was the sticky spots all over it and her cheeks where his gourd's fluid had sprayed her. There was almost more than that covering her udders. "Oh, no, no, no, that's a BIG 'no'! You can't do that!"

"But you did it for me," he pressed on. "Just a little taste? You tasted me, helped me - maybe I should do that for you."

"No, you shouldn't!" She took several deep breaths to calm herself before continuing. "There's no call for that. Lando never did; said there wasn't enough 'grass on the field to play ball', whatever that means."

Link smiled. "I don't care about any old grass; I just want to try your nectar."

"If that's all, you're welcome to it," she laughed aloud, parting her legs and pointing to how they gleamed all over. "Got enough to fill a few bottles, I'd say."

"Wow..."

As Malon began to realize she was giving him full view of herself, her knees reunited. "Bad boy," she said softly, unable to look in his direction at all. "N-no peeking, that's private."

"I- I'm sorry. Didn't know, but... but I've never seen it like that before. It opens?"

She smirked slightly, leaning on her elbow to look at him now. "Of course it does, you goof. How do you think it all works?"

"What works? The peach?"

Her eyebrows contracted for a very long moment as she came to the inevitable conclusion. "You- are you trying to tell me you don't know ANYTHING about- y'know, the birds and the bees?"

"Oh, I know plenty about those," he scoffed. "We have all kinds of creatures in the forest. The Great Deku Tree taught us all about them."

She let out a short blast of laughter before biting her lip to stave off any more. When he only stared at her, confused and indignant, she sighed and touched his face. "My dear, sweet fairy boy. Do you want Malon to teach you something new?"

"Huh?"

"Well... fine, go ahead and look, I guess." She coughed, allowing her legs to fall open slightly. "But no touching! I- I don't think I could ever let you go if you laid hands on my 'peach' - and you need to go back to Zelda, which won't work if I have to keep you forever."

"Huh? Back to-" But then he was face to face with her round, ripe peach, and the enveloping scent was filling him up. "It's so..."

"Don't stare like that," she whispered. "My... I'm so squishy, and it's uneven, and that hair came out of nowhere one day and I haven't been able to-"

"It's beautiful, Malon." Though he'd never seen anything like it and it was kind of weird, it did have a beauty all its own. The small patch of curly, brownish hairs rustled when he breathed outward, and he also noted that Malon shivered when he did this. "There's a pair of lips, and- hey, what's this?"

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" she snapped, thighs convulsing and trapping his head. "That's very sensit- sens- MMMH!"

Her movement had shoved him face-first into her, and he could feel fragile, wet folds pressing into his mouth and nose. With the slightest twitch from his features she convulsed again, crying out, "NO, Link, don't- don't do that, it's too- UHHHnh, Link!"

She tasted like the Lon Lon Milk her ranch was so famous for, yet a touch sweeter than that, with a hint of the sweat he'd been scenting on her skin all along. It was very thick, and drinking it made him feel a little sick to his stomach, but the more he lapped up the more he wanted - and again, her reactions could mean either joy or agony. With notable effort, he pushed up, poking his head out.

"I'll stop," he whispered into her, one hand resting on the inside of her thigh; he wasn't surprised to find her legs were stronger and much more toned than Zelda's had been. "You didn't want me to, anyway, so-"

"AHHNHH!" Her hands slid up his neck to the base of his hair, fingers wriggling the tiniest bit beneath his cap. "You're my prince, Link - my knight in shining armor! Sweep me away!"

"Whaaaaat?" But then his face was being mashed back into her and he was drawing deeply from the inside of her peach, tongue poking inside and exploring the sensitive inner membranes, amazed that anything attached to a person could feel this vulnerable on the inside. In no time at all, she was writhing around on the ground, hips rising to meet his head and trying to somehow cram more of his face inside.

"Malon," he sighed into her again, raising his hand to cup her rear and hold her against his face. His curiosity not having faded from earlier, his tongue briefly swatted at the miniscule peach pit that was sticking out above the lips.

"YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIH!" she screamed, and all at once she jerked her legs up and over his shoulders. As she calmed, one of her heels bounced against his back. "No, Link, no, I told you! That makes, feel, I- I..."

"Does it hurt?!" he said urgently.

"No, no," she panted heavily, still grinding against his chin. "But it feels so good I- I can't handle it, I'm going to- to do it, to gallop away!"

A slow smile crept into his eyes, then down to his mouth, as well; this squishy-yet-rigid little peach pit was her gourd, the part that felt the most intense when teased. It almost felt the same, even; soft but muscular beneath the surface. He thought he knew what to do now. "Go on, Malon - gallop away. You deserve it."

"But I- w-w-want it to l-last, I- no, no, n- YES! YES, LINK, YES!"

When he began allowing his tongue to slide the entire area of her peach's sensitive hemisphere, occasionally brushing the pit, she lost all control and fell to bending to his every whim, moving where he moved and responding to everything he did. He had just noticed his arms were feeling tired from holding himself up and supporting her legs on his shoulders when her moans took on a fever pitch he had not heard before, and he moved faster, pushing at her pit more and more often.

"Link! Link! Yeah, yeah, yeah, OH YEAH, OH, YESSS! LINK!! YAAAAAIIIH!!!!"

"MMMGPHLGGGG!"

For some reason, despite recent experiences, he had not been expecting the overwhelming volume of nectar that came forth from Malon's peach at the height of her pleasure. On top of this, she continued to spasm several times, and each spasm brought forth more of the syrup. Taken slowly it would only have been a few mouthfuls, but all at once it blasted all over his cheeks and chin, running down onto the mossy forest floor. Still he tried to drink as much of this nectar of the gods as he could ingest, and just at the time he decided he could take no more, she fell completely limp to the ground.

"Mmah, mah, mah," she panted. "My Link... my fairy boy, you... that's s-s..."

"Did you feel it, Malon?" he asked, crawling slowly up her body to rest on her bare stomach, chin nestled between her snow-capped mountains. They WERE comfortable. "Did I give you what you gave me?"

"You really did." Her voice was small and weak; he could tell she felt much like he had when Zelda had wrung him dry the first time. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she managed a tiny, bleary smile. "You were... amazing... my luh- love..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And then she was out. Link tried shaking her, slapping her cheek gently, but nothing came of it; the effects of releasing bottled-up energy like that seemed to have the same coma-inducing effect on girls. He could only guess he hadn't succumbed because he'd recently rested. Rubbing his neck nervously, he wandered back over to where Epona was nibbling at some grass.

"What do we do, girl?" he whispered to the horse, lips fighting against his opening them due to how sticky they were now. For her part, Epona whinnied and shook back her mane, pawing the ground idly. "Should I try to put her dress on, send her home on your back? I... I hate to just send her away like that, but I absolutely MUST start looking for Zel-"

All at once, white-hot pain exploded in the side of his head, and the next time he registered anything he could see a few tree trunks whizzing by. They shouldn't be moving like that, should they? His body connected with the ground, making a horrible sound that made him worry if all limbs were still attached.

Had Epona kicked him? That would be ridiculous; besides, the horse was facing the wrong way. As he pulled himself to his feet, he saw he was a lot closer to the riverbank than he had been in the clearing. Had he seriously been knocked twenty feet in one blow? This monster had to be of great power.

And when the monster reared its ugly head, he found he had not been mistaken. He backed into the tree, desperate for aid of any kind, but that would not be coming. He was dead before he'd drawn his sword.

"How COULD YOU, you INGRATE?! I watch you fleeing in distress from the castle, and I'm so worried I follow you into the forest, only to find what?! My betrothed - BETROTHED - creating hanky-panky with every available mammal within a stone's throw! It's enough to give a girl scale rot!"

Malon's milky nectar had gummed up his throat, but he finally managed speech. "R... Ruto!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Watch for Chapter 3!)