Legend Of Zelda Fan Fiction ❯ The Legend of Link: Lucky Number 13 ❯ A Son's Reality Pt. 01: No One's Child ( Chapter 15 )

Author's Notes: I feel a little suspect about the sexual parts. The changes I made seem either to be sarcastic bragging or, what I'm actually trying to express, a morbid anger about a situation that should be great being, instead, really shitty. My opinion of it varied every time I reread it, so I trusted the instinct and left it alone. I hope my message is conveyed as intended.

Chapter Fifteen

One minute, I'm leaving Kokiri Forest. The next, I'm laying here wondering if I'll be able to move my arms again. What happened? Oh, that's right. You decided to run and hide when he showed up. Help me up and I'll tell you. Thanks. So, where do I start? I guess the beginning is a good a place as any.

Following up on the power acquainting from the day before, I thought it would be a nice surprise if I made Nabooru and the others a feast since they did vote me in as their king and all a few hours prior. Dinner, what's also known as breakfast to normal Hylians, managed to go off without too much of a problem, aside from Varia's insistence upon cooking her own meal. Well, I also sort of gave them all new dinner wares… and a nice lacquered Deku wood table… and then I got this weird idea for a little food box that kept things cool, so I made it and gave that to them, too. No, it's like a chest, but it stands up and has shelves so the stuff inside doesn't get squashed. I figured it would be better for the meats and stuff than all that damn salt.

Anyway, after realizing that everyone was freaked out by my generosity that kept popping out of thin air, I decided to kiss even more ass by cleaning up. It was after I cleaned up, also known as made everything disappear, that the day entered its low point. I had been so caught up in the king thing, dinner, and trying to endear myself to those who were obviously afraid of me that I totally forgot to go to sleep. Don't get me wrong, I tried to sleep after dinner, but I couldn't. That's when I figured that I could probably stay awake indefinitely now. At any rate, that's what led to the surprise dinner slash breakfast and all of that.

The low point of the day hit me when I realized that Nabooru still hadn't answered my question. What? Don't give me that look! A lot of shit happens in three hours, so now I can't forget one measly question? Never mind, as I was saying, I set off to find her once I made sure everything was clean.

"What took you so long, Hero?" she asked, as I discovered her standing atop the roof of the old cell they used to throw me in back in the day.

I didn't answer her at first, but, instead, I came up behind her as she watched the sun continue to come up over the horizon.

"I'll answer yours if you answer mine." Before she tried to shirk the question, I wrapped my arms around her waist. I did that for two reasons: the first is, obviously, that I wanted to touch her, and the second was because I didn't want her to hop over the edge and run from me. Call it a hunch, but I had a feeling she would've done so if I hadn't held onto her.

Although it took a moment of silence, Nabooru eventually sighed and leaned back against me. She told me that she'd hoped I had forgotten, but that wasn't the case. That's when she said something that totally caught me off guard.

"If you want to know, listen to my thoughts now."

I tried to object, but it became clear after a while that she couldn't answer my question about Zelda with words or, at least, not until I observed her thoughts. As I closed my eyes and stopped fighting to block the whisper of her inner voice, I felt my conscious begin to sink into her own. When my eyes next opened, the first thing I saw was a little girl. This was Nabooru, I assumed, aged no more than 10 years. She stood alone outside of a door that looked like none I've ever seen inside of the fortress. It was a black metal, with a red star, and a purple crescent moon emblazoned upon it.

Soon, it became pretty obvious that she wasn't alone, though. There were people inside of the room, and they were obviously engaged in some pretty frantic sex. Nabooru's mind began to paint a time frame to the madness, to her childish confusion and hurt. Hours would pass by her estimates, but she never left the door. That's when my hand twitched for my sword, because a bestial growl suddenly erupted between the passionate cries of lust. The chamber went quiet next. Then, a few muffled words were exchanged, and that's when the door suddenly wretched open a ways.

"I'll be back tomorrow," the man, whose voice I seemed to recognize, said before opening the door all the way. I felt my heart twist into a heavy knot when he stepped into the light, revealing himself to be none other than Ganondorf. He was the same, but different-his complexion was a deep bronze, and his head was full of bright red hair, matted and clingy from the sweat, but his eyes were the same malevolent color of filthy gold. Different skin color and a younger appearance, but it was definitely Ganondorf.

"Your whore may see you now," he said lightly, bestowing the child with a mock bow, as if introducing royalty. Ganondorf laughed at her, slinking back into his shirt, and then fastening his cloak around his neck.

Nabooru, as confident as ever, pushed her way past him without the slightest inkling of fear. One look at the woman in the room and Nabooru's face answered all it needed. In the bed was her mother-a striking woman, if not slightly unusual with her black hair. She looked sick, but unharmed. She looked to be basking in the afterglow, but disgusted by it at the same time. I couldn't understand what it was I was seeing. How can one be on the verge of tears, yet look so confident, but be sexually elated all at the same time?

"Mama, we can't let him treat us like this!" Nabooru said, resting her hand on the woman's shoulder before having it shrugged away. That upset her, which led to an outburst. "If Papa were alive…" Her mother slapped her in the mouth, as she told her daughter never to mention him again. But, in a way that I've come to expect, Nabooru held her ground. "Why not? He wouldn't just roll over on this like… like some kind of dog!" She shrieked, but it did little to stop her welling tears.

Her mother laughed with more sarcasm than even I could come up with on a bad day, saying: "Ha! You make it sound like I haven't tried! This is all any of us who try to fight his magic end up with," she waved her hands down her body snuggled between the sheets, "nothing. You were too young to remember, but, for three days, Ganondorf used your father like a pincushion.

Arrow after arrow, scream after scream, I was made to watch your father's torture on that riding target. I told him what would happen if he continued to try and see us! I told him to wait for us. I would find a way to escape this valley and that madman! Heh, but he didn't listen. No, he had to play the hero and try to save the Gerudo from Ganondorf.

Poor fool was dead the moment he made the challenge to fight for our freedom. For three days, he died drop by drop. Heh, even I couldn't let Ganondorf get away with that, so a few of us women banded together to destroy that bastard, but now look at us. The lucky died. And the rest of us live under his thumb-waiting and wondering when he'll have our bodies obey his will with the snap of his fingers."

I couldn't comprehend why Nabooru felt the need to take her memories this far back, but, nevertheless, though, I watched. I watched the heartbreaking scene of a mother and child holding each other for emotional support, each promising the other they'd get the other away from him, shedding tears on soiled sheets. It was enough to make me set off and ring Ganon's scrawny neck, but I realized that it was just a memory and I could do no such thing. And if I could do such a thing, I didn't know how.

Whatever the case, the scene soon rippled like the surface of a disturbed lake into a new one. In the next memory, Nabooru appeared as she does now, except she looked like she'd been on the bad end of a beating. Her right eye looked like a boiled egg was on top of it, and her lips were split, and the bruises-god, it looked like she'd slid down Death Mountain on her face. As to whom she was obviously burying, the emotionless contours of her face made that painfully clear.

"May you have the freedom in death that I could not give you in life," she whispered, placing a tiny kiss on her mother's forehead, just before lowering her body into the quicksand.

The scene changed again, this time showing the Ganondorf I knew, but, oddly, Nabooru was nowhere in sight. Here, he was shown blasting her mother directly through the stomach. Apparently, she had decided to make one last effort to escape him-the sword hanging limply in her hands a testament to that-but her body was too worn out, and the battle was more an exercise in cruelty and mocking. Once he'd had his fill of toying with her, Ganon fired the famous shot from his palm… just as Nabooru decided to enter the room. It hit me hard in chest, watching that woman's life fade before her child's very eyes.

Nabooru just stood there, though, stunned as her mother fell over in a heap. The blast had run her through, I saw, wincing as my hatred soared to incalculable heights for the monster I had faced.

"Clean that up will you," he said, massaging his jaw from the one blow that landed from the fallen warrior's sword. "Wait a minute," Ganondorf then said, as he realized who Nabooru was. "Nabooru? Goddess, why must you infernal creatures all look alike? Never mind. I'd appreciate it if you remove this filth from my floor."

Can you believe the balls on that guy? Here he had just killed her mother right in front of her, and then he has the audacity to tell her to "take out the trash" so to speak. Nabooru had been plotting his death for years a spare thought revealed, and when he turned his back to fasten his cape, she picked up her mother's sword and attacked. I was silently cheering her on as she struck him, but once he got his bearings back, all hell broke loose. I wonder if she'd been wielding the Master Sword would it have penetrated his skull. Both mother and child had landed direct shots to his face or head, but neither did more than make him angry. Goddess, I wish I could've been there for her then.

"Insolent fool!" he shouted in a voice that seemed like thunder, as he backhanded her clear across the room into a wall. As she picked herself up off the floor, it was already clear she had lost, because he warped over to her and began to kick her. Nabooru crumpled over onto the floor again, silently taking his boots wherever they landed. "I swear! I try to be nice. But, no the whore and her runt have to try and attack me. Is this the thanks I get?" He followed every word with a bone shattering kick, all of which got no more than a sharp wheezing from Nabooru.

She refused to let him hear her scream, and when it looked as if he was through, the son of a bitch stood her up and punched her square in the face! If I ever figure out how to bring people back from the dead, I'll bring him back for the sheer rapture of grinding his bones into powder. Ugh, let's move on.

So, after watching this beating of Nabooru into a bloody heap, I watched him give her a choice: "Either you dispose of this 'woman' or I will. And may the goddesses help you if you so much as leave one drop of blood on my floor!" He slammed the door, leaving Nabooru and her mother's corpse alone. Feeling she had failed, Nabooru began to cry. And with that, her memory faded back into the one of her at the pit of quicksand, where I felt her emotions completely shut down. Everything began to be about nothing more than revenge and pride, which I can't fault her for desiring.

With a muttered promise of his death, and her mother's body completely under the quicksand, Nabooru ran off into the blinding sandstorm. I take it that is how she ended up living at the colossus in the original timeline, as well. I still wonder how that incarnation of her was so upbeat and full of joy after all of that. At the time, though, my thoughts were in two places after the memories ended: first of all, why didn't the Gerudo inform the King of Hyrule about all of that? And secondly, why didn't Ganondorf stop her from moving out?

The answer to my first question was simple if you read the situation right. Here's a guy with the power to make a woman submit her body to him, even enjoy his bed company, and could take a sword shot in the mouth without shedding an ounce of blood. Obviously, the remaining Gerudo were too afraid of him to do something like beg for an audience with Hyrule's king. The answer to my second question is a bit more complex.

I think he knew about her plans to get the silver gauntlets, somehow. And I'm willing to bet money that Ganondorf wanted Nabooru to get them for the sole purpose of humiliating her once she had them. However, once he figured out she was a sage, his plan for humiliation turned into one of saving his own hide. That's why he was going to have her imprisoned by the witch duo. Because somewhere in that fucked up little head of his, Ganon knew if I killed her in the armor that the full power of the sages couldn't touch him, or at least that's what I believe it was. Knowing him, it could've been that or a million other things.

It was at that moment I decided to end our connection at the brain.

As our union faded, Nabooru spoke, as if on cue, and said: "You did what no one else could do for us, Link-not me, my mother, or even my own father." Again, I wasn't really following and the lighthearted laugh she released seemed to convey that she knew that. "Imagine someone you thought to be the greatest person in the world," she said. "At the same time, imagine you like this person, and somewhere along the line you begin to love this person. But, they don't feel the same way. Imagine watching them lust after someone else, and feeling that nothing you say or do can change that.

You were that person to me.

I can't explain how happy I was when you told me that your relationship with Zelda was over. I finally had a chance in hell, I thought. Still, it didn't make sense to me. She was blessed enough to be loved by you, and she chooses a Deku Scrub?

And if that disrespect wasn't enough, you forgave her stupidity and continued to be loyal. I used to wish I could be Zelda for one day, just one, to experience what it was like to be loved by you. I wanted to tell you how I felt, but I couldn't. Day in and day out you'd come to the archery track, we'd talk and you'd leave to stand in the scrub's shadow. It made me so sick that I could've killed them both! But I knew that would've hurt you, so I resisted, and hoped.

I know it sounds weak, but I remembered how you used to tell me about all the things you did for her-all the stuff with Ganondorf, all the reading so the stupid kings and queens she met with didn't think she was a fool for dating a soldier, all the proper this and that, just for her-and she just took a shit on all of it." Nabooru paused, forcing a stiff little laugh, but gave it up when I whispered that I was sorry. "She was blessed with so much, and just seeing her torture and waste the greatest gift of them all… I loathed her, Link. More than Twinrova, more than being extorted… I hated her for what she did to you."

It finally dawned on me, at long last. The whole memory thing was Nabooru's way of opening herself up to me. Fears, nightmares, hopes, and dreams were all on the table for my viewing pleasure. Even though killing Ganondorf was nothing more than removing a thorn in my side, it was intensely significant to the Gerudo and Nabooru specifically. After all the petty bitching I'd done in my life about the loop, I felt about two inches tall after seeing her life. Yes, kill the King of Evil to be with Zelda. Fuck the group of women that actually live with him every day and every night. Who cares about them, right? How could I have been so thoughtless? The question made my brain hurt.

"I never knew," I kept whispering lamely. "I can't… I… All I know is this: Everything I did for Zelda wasn't always out of love. A lot of it was, but a good chunk of it was fear. I was afraid that she'd leave me if I didn't do certain things, but it was me who made those choices. So, if you want to blame someone for being stupid, I'm your man."

That caused her to face me for the first time, saying, "It's easier to hate her, though." Nabooru smiled at me, despite the slightly red eyes, which made me feel a little less tense. "Well, I guess there's at least one positive to all of this," she paused, looking me over with a rather accepting gaze. "I have a version of you that Zelda didn't, and that she never will."

"She won't," I assured her. "On the bright side, I'll figure out how to fix this little deformed giant thing I'm going through and…" I never finished that sentence. For whatever reason, it appeared that I was more upset with the way I looked than she was.

"Are you that obsessed with how you look?" she asked, launching off into a tirade before I even parted my lips to reply. "Oooh, you're taller! And, oh, your hair is so creepy."

I was not amused by the mocking, because I felt really stupid all of a sudden. So, naturally, I had to compound that stupidity by at least tenfold.

"But don't you find the white eyes scary?"

At the time, Nabooru merely shook her head no, and then stated: "If they scared me, you wouldn't be this close to me."

She did have a point, because her heart didn't do that weird double-time beat when she looked at me anymore, which felt good the more I thought about it.

"I feel like I'm getting a new you, in some ways," Nabooru went on to say, "a new you that only I've had before, and not some Zelda throwaway-like this is the real you, and it's all mine. Now, will you get the stick out of your ass about your hair and eyes?"

Only Nabooru can call you a throwaway and make you laugh about it a second later. After our laughter quieted down some, I thought about something else she'd said.

"You know, you technically haven't had me." What? We hadn't been together in a month, and you think I'm a pervert for bringing it up then?

As I continue to ignore your drunken rambling, she looked me square in the eye and said, "Yet, Link, yet."

"Now, what is it that you're trying to tell me?" Oh, the comedy of that question was well understated, because I could see the sexual desire awakening in her eyes.

"I don't see how you stayed sane for four years without doing that," Nabooru mused, wrapping her arms around my waist. As I was doing similar, a blip of a thought popped out of her head into my own, bringing a belly laugh out of me.

"And how did you not do it at all for 33 years?" I asked, laughing even louder as she attempted to jerk away from me.

"So, my age doesn't bother you?"

"Are you that obsessed with your age?" Insert a lopsided grin and a light punch in the arm for my sarcasm. Naturally, this caused a minor rift, but my blood was already running towards one organ, and I couldn't have that. Nabooru yelped as I slid my hands under her arms. "Legs around my waist," I half commanded and half asked. She complied, still with a frown, which sparked me to continue once I she let smile slip. "If it makes you feel any better, you've got the grip of an 18-year-old."

It was funny watching the meaning dawn on her, especially when she froze up with that blushing grin. She had nothing covertly sexy to say in return, so I took control of the situation as only I could: a kiss here, a hand there, and Nabooru was off and running. We, and by we I mean me, stumbled to our bedroom where the real fun took place. Oh, and by fun, I mean amazing foreplay that turned into an alchemy lesson from the Goddesses.

Before all of that, Nabooru started things off slow, pushing me against the wall and sashaying across the room and telling me simply to watch. She began to dance to her own little beat, drumming her hips from side to side, making her stomach waver back and forth like a snake. Next, her arms began to partake in the act, rolling in a way that I'd never seen before. It created a better effect than I could ever describe, but trust me-it was something you don't forget. The hair sweeping, the gyrating, and that body… left alone with a brick, I would've put a hole clean through it. So, naturally, I had to play it cool and cross my arms like her motions weren't playing hell on my dick.

In my defense, I did manage to keep from getting hard… until the top came off. Then she really let me have it, as she made her way over to me and began to undo my tunic. For every lace she untied she kissed my chest. Right then and there, I was caught off guard. She actually sucked my nipple. Don't get me wrong, I liked it… it was just weird. I said something along the lines of oh, god, but my voice cracked. That was the most pathetic attempt I've ever made to stay neutral during a sexual situation. She hid her laugh, as she released me but not without a little more joking at my expense.

"Am I getting to you, Hero?"

Please, nothing gets to me. I've stared death in the face multiple times. I've defeated the Great Ganondorf four times. I've eaten Zelda's cooking without keeling over! Nothing can get to me. As I prepared my statement, Nabooru slinked out of her pants, and my brain and dick both whimpered. I'd been fantasizing about it all of the previous night and morning, but nothing-nothing-compares to the sight of her naked in the flesh. So, in an effort to save face, I shook my head no to answer her question.

Nabooru, then said, "Pity." The dance ended, she hopped on the bed, and I still couldn't form big words. You know big words like "uh" and "huh", stuff like that. I remembered how to walk again, and as I tried to perform this simple task, I fell. This wasn't making any sense. One minute I'm Mr. Cool. The next, I'm a bumbling idiot? Is the naked female body that mind altering that a simple 10-foot walk becomes alchemy? One look at her on that bed made me forget the question until just a few seconds ago. So, I'd say, yes it is capable of that. Standing up amongst her giggling, I prepared to exact my revenge.

"Lay down on your stomach," I told her. My voice stayed together this time, which drew a half smirk as she complied. Tights and boots still on, I sat with my knees on either side of her butt, and summoned my utensils.

"Now, what do you plan to do, Squeaky?" Her voice was low, sultry even, as she lightly mocked me.

Undaunted by her words, I leaned down and whispered in her ear, "You'll know when I do it."

This plan of recourse would be a simple massage, which would be performed in the most excruciatingly slow manner that I could think up. Of course, I'm a lying sack of shit. Leave it to me to fuck it up on two levels: the first being looking at the scars on her back and remembering how she panicked when I mentioned them after we'd made love in the bathroom. The second moment of idiocy, and it's the killer, I ask about them again.

"Did he do this to you?" I asked, as that prickly heat began to rise on the back of my neck. You know the heat that seems to swell around you when you think about someone you hate. Nabooru hesitated, but she confirmed it. Now, there I sat-mood effectively ruined. Way to go, Link! I was upset now, but I couldn't let Ganondorf win another round of my life. The scented oils that I had called forth moments prior danced in a little halo around me, quickly turning the idea of a playful massage into something more serious. "Relax."

With that one whispered word, I started to rub my hands together, letting the friction warm them. Slowly, my hands began to glow, not with the typical red hue, but a calmer and more sedated blue. Nabooru gasped when I laid them upon her abused skin, slightly panicking as a new sensation crept across her back. It only took a few moments, but that's all I needed. The scars were gone… physically, at least. The mental burden is something we all have to bear.

"What did you do?" she asked, shuddering deeply as I kissed her shoulder blade. I didn't know what to say, so I used physical means to convey my sorrow and regrettable selfishness.

I kept rubbing her back, kissing it, using my hair to tickle it… everything I could do to make her forget the past for that one moment in time. At first, I didn't think any of it would work, but slowly… surely, Nabooru began to go with the flow, so to speak. The moment the first dollop of that cinnamon oil touched her, I knew the mood was rekindled. She began to murmur little things as I rubbed her body, little things about how silly Zelda was, and how lucky she herself was. By the time I'd done her feet, Nabooru was a big ball of gelatin.

"I think I'm ready for you to do this side," Nabooru mused, turning over on her back and giving me that look.

I chuckled, but crawled up her body with the flask of oil in hand. "Ask and you shall receive," I told her.

She seemed to purr, as I filled her bellybutton to the brim with the rest of the oil, smearing the runoff over her taut little stomach. Goddess, I've never seen someone look so good under sunlight and oil. So shiny… so… anyway, I couldn't just massage anymore. I nearly pounced on her, lust and desire so heavy that it was near maddening. Nabooru, though, took it in stride. Her legs wrapped around the small of my back, fingers running through my hair, and her tongue in my mouth… Shit, I was out of control! Sensations, all these new sensations were running through me from a kiss, a touch… and I wasn't even naked. There were other perks to this god thing, I realized.

Then the bed broke.

"Goddamn it!" I shouted, thrown completely out of my sensual overload. I didn't even give it a second thought, I just up and went to godly hacking on a new bed. In mere seconds, the broken one was swallowed in a golden aura, the old legs replaced with the toughest oak I could imagine, as the aged bedposts stretched almost to the ceiling in fine polished oak. A canopy of white silk netting drifted between each of the posts, separating us from the rest of the room. As for the mattress, I doubled its size, and, before I got slaphappy, I asked: "Any particular sheet color, madam?"

She smiled, and said, "Red… and make them silk." I watched as the sheets under her back took on the requested color and material, and once I'd thrown in a few matching pillows we were back in the throws. Dear god, Zelda's taste rubbed off! Uh, where was I? Oh, yeah. I'm a slave to her mojo, and we start up the love machine. There wasn't even foreplay, I was so riled up. I hopped out of the tights-read: tore them and my boots into pieces-and the next thing I remember is her guiding my dick inside.

That's when she stopped.

"What? What'd I do?" You don't just touch stiff Link dick and stop! Well, unless there's a reason. Nabooru's reason was, of course, the greatest idea of all time.

"Can I… put it in my mouth?" The question was one of those where you take a moment to reflect, say a thanking prayer to your watchful deity of choice, and try not to sound too enthusiastic when you say yes. I kind of went into a blank stare, as this would be the first time my dick's been anywhere near a woman's mouth in years. "I mean, I just wanted to see what… it… was… like to do what you… do. Wait! That didn't come out right!" She placed a hand over her face and sighed, which gave me a minute to gather my nerve.

"Go ahead," I said calmly, though, my heart could've probably caused a major earthquake had it been ripped beating from my chest and sat on the floor. You know, I never noticed how awkward an action foreplay is until she asked me that. That's the last thing I figured you'd have to ask a person. I think that's a universal yes with any man. Beautiful woman asks can she put her mouth on his dick, and the word yes flies out of his mouth like it had hover boots on. So, there we were, kneeling, blushing, and I'm still as hard as nails. Yeah, yeah, yeah-I'm sick, I need help.

Nabooru suddenly scowled at my dick.

That's never something you want to see in a situation like that.

Nonetheless, Nabooru grabbed me by the shaft and gave my tip a little lick. Satisfied with that initial taste, she did it again, only less stiff. Being the encouraging soul that I am, I set about instructing her how I liked to be… well, sucked. Say what you will, but Nabooru's a good student. Still, something seemed off. The more she stroked it, licked it, sucked it, I never got any closer to the… magic. Leave it to me to be perplexed by not getting off, but in that instance where we lost eye contact, Nabooru got experimental. She kept licking, lower, and lower and then… she sucked on one of my balls, and, in what should've been the definitive orgasmic moment, nothing happened. My passion soared, my dick twitched, and I all but screamed like a little girl, but there was no… magic.

"Uh, why didn't any of that stuff come out like when we… made love?" She looked confused, which I only added too.

"It isn't your fault," I said quite lamely, which earned a doubtful eye. "I just couldn't… well… you know what I'm trying to say."

The look on her face was part sadness, part anger, but all disappointment.

At that moment, three distinct chuckles echoed throughout the room. Of all the times, and in all the bedrooms, the goddesses appeared… in voice.

"Having problems, nephew?" Din's voice blended into a stark laughter so loud it shook the entire room.

It wasn't like it made a difference, but I tried to explain who they were to Nabooru, as she was seemingly trying to claw a hole into my arm.

"Is there something specific you wanted or is this how you sick fucks get your jollies?" I asked, as I encountered embarrassment on a level I never knew existed.

Din laughed harder, though. "We're the sick fucks? Isn't that the kettle calling the pot black, Mr. Dick's-still-hard?"

Correction: that was the highest point of embarrassment I'd ever encountered. Hey, it wasn't like I could help it! So, after attempting to cover up with the sheets, and failing, I just gave up and resigned myself to hear them out.

"We figured this would be a good time to school you in the intricacies of making love with a mortal." Farore giggled some, but at least she managed to articulate a damn sentence. "The first of which you seem to have down… or should I say up?" Din and Nayru both erupted into simultaneous fits of laughter, as their sister coughed to clear her throat. "But orgasm is a sensitive subject."

Nayru sighed, and I imagined her wiping the tears from her eyes when she elaborated on her sibling's last statement.

"In our realm, the… no, that hasn't been discovered here yet." She pondered for a moment, searching for the right words. "Ah, okay, it's like this: the physical world around you there would let you bump, grind, sweat, and moan to a climax that was easily attainable."

"Point?" I asked, unable to deduce my own from that cryptic pile.

Din was up next, saying: "Basically, you have to get yourself off on this side."

Isn't that what you want to hear? You've got this gorgeous girlfriend, but the only way you'll ever have an orgasm is to make happy with your own damn fist!

"Calm down," she soon said, trying to curb the twitch in my right eye. "All we're saying is that it's all controlled by your thoughts. So if you think things are done, they are."

"Oh, thank god…desses." I muttered, before the sinister plot point was dropped on me by Nayru.

"Be warned: while you may think you're being gentle with her, it is possible for you to kill her."

"So… he could fuck me to death?" Nabooru asked poignantly, though, shirking back when the reply came to answer the question.

"In a nutshell," Din said plainly. "I wouldn't worry about it. It's not everyday a woman can orgasm to death. Enjoy it, kid."

"What do you mean orgasm to death?" I asked this time, garnering more laughter.

Farore told me that, for all intents and purposes, I exist in multiple dimensions and realities. "And each one of them tugs on your physical form. The end result of all that pulling is a very subtle vibration, a vibration that, while it can't be seen, can be felt in certain sensitive areas. You'll see what I mean when you two consummate."

Startling revelation to say the least, but I had a new question. "Are you perverts watching me all the time? And if so, when do I get the power to stop it?" Nabooru jerked my arm, obviously not as bold when it came to invisible deities. But now I was one, so I had no fear when it came to speaking my mind.

Farore told me that I already had the power but I just didn't know how to use it. She also added: "It isn't a written rule or anything, but most gods and goddesses tend to wait until they have full control of their powers before embarking on a mortal mate. While you look similar to a normal man, you must remember that within you lies the power to shape and make worlds. At the same time, you also have the power to destroy them as well.

The powers you've displayed thus far may seem great, but they are nothing compared to what you are truly capable of. And while the Triforce of Wisdom contains the knowledge of elder sages past, it only has so much information. Much like this event, you'll notice a lot more is missing. It is up to the both of you to decide if risking her life is worth it."

Why is it they never have good news? What I should've asked them is if they were the token goddesses of bad omens.

"And Nabooru," she jumped as Nayru addressed her directly, but the goddess ignored it and pressed on. "You're going to experience something not many mortal women have. It'll be the most intense thing you've ever felt, but in that feeling you cannot allow your judgment to be swayed. So, you have to know your limits, because he doesn't. No trying to out last him, because you can't. No trying to prove you can take whatever he dishes out, because you can't. But if you can do all of that, you'll be fine."

After Nabooru agreed to do this, they left us alone.

"Do you know who that was?" Nabooru immediately rattled off when I could no longer sense the aunts. Needless to say, that wasn't the reaction I expected to get. "Wait till I tell the others and… you're still hard?" She calmed enough to ask. It wasn't my fault! There must be some kind of built in magnet that points to the sky… yeah, I'm sick. Still, I wasn't trying to keep it up or anything, it just sort of stayed like that.

After all the "amazing god of sex" talk, I was expecting my sexual knowledge to grow by leaps and bounds. It didn't, though. The part of the Goddesses' speech that did tie directly into the act of making love was the part about my being stretched across dimensions, more specifically, the part about the vibrations. As it turns out, I didn't even have to thrust, let alone move, for Nabooru to reach an orgasm. That was by far and away the coolest thing about being a god to date. Then it hit me.

That's how she could die, via multiple orgasms. And to make matters worse, it took a while for me to achieve orgasmic grace, because my mind was all over the place. One minute my biggest concern about sex was pulling out in time and keeping it up. Now, I had to worry about sparks or some shit flying out of my ass or getting her off until it killed her! Ugh, the situation began to make me sick. Here's the woman I love howling her brains out because of me, and I couldn't even partake in the rapture.

Huh? What do you mean I'm the psycho that wanted to keep screwing? It wasn't like that! Okay, so I didn't protest much. But this isn't my fault. Damn, that's enough of that phrase. It was my fault. Something about her body, her eyes… that look in those eyes, I wanted nothing more than to stay buried balls deep inside of her. But all at once, it hit me: laying there pumping away into her, I knew that was enough. Watching her writhe in ecstasy was enough for me. Well, at least that's the reason I settled on when her eyes snapped open and she clamped her hands on the sides of my face. I came hard. My whole body heaved, and I seem to recall this light popping right behind my eyes. A level of fatigue and bliss enshrouded me the likes of which I never even dreamed. The stranger thing is, though, was how fast the feeling left me.

"Nabooru?" I asked a few times. In my moment of bliss, I'd forgotten about the size differential. Thus, being the gigantic freak that I am, I'd crushed her basically. And what did Nabooru have to say about my lapse in body control?

She said with no amount of uncertainty my new favorite three words: "Oh, god Link."

Okay, enough with the bullshit. As jaded as I tend to be, the whole situation is starting to get to me. Most boys I've observed tend to aspire to be like their fathers, whether they're crooks or nobles, they want to be a chip off the old block. Where as I limp along beaten within an inch of my life-yes, it is painfully obvious he can kill me now-by the very person I should aspire to be like. It didn't occur to me until his boot ground my arm into the dirt, but the fact is that I'm not a boy anymore. The time for childish aspirations is over. I can't say: "I wanna grow up to be just like my dad." And that's because I'm all grown up.

The hand he could've played in that died the instant he killed my mother. The chance he could've had to start over from scratch died the instant he kicked me through that wall. And like his chances, when he returns in a week, he too will die. The child of gods, yet nobody's child at all. So, I'll continue to be who I was… who I am. And I am Link, nothing more and nothing less. Now let me sit down and rest for a moment.

Author's Notes: I may not post when you call, but I'm always on time.