Lord Of The Rings Fan Fiction / Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Happiness is a Broken Wand ❯ Choice would be a Fine Thing ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Severus Snape just wants a new, peaceful life in Middle Earth, but with a vicious war arising and a new Dark Lord gunning for him, he'll have to fight to get that wish. Magic and battles, familiars and friends. Slytherinesque cunning shall always prevail.

Non Anime: Lord Of The Rings Fan Fiction / Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 07.11.2011 | Pages: 1 | Words: 3.2K | Visits: 1.2K | Status: Work In Progress

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the Lord of the Rings belong to J.K Rowling and J.R.R Tolkien, all the copyrights associated with HP and LOTR belongs to them. Only the ideas contained within this story are the property of the author. No profit is being earned by the writer of this story.

Severus lay in the sticky pool of blood for what felt like eons. The Shrieking Shack was a silent haven, a lonely island in the bitter sea of war that raged and swelled in Hogwarts. And that suited Severus just fine. Opening his eyes was such an unnecessary chore, and on top of all the other shenanigans he'd been up to lately, lying there for another couple eons more would be bliss, blood and pain regardless.

Nothing mattered anymore, anyway - no matter who won, there would be negative repercussions for him. The double agent, the liar, the murderer. Albus, he thought, the familiar beloved name now carrying a tinge of grief and bitterness. Have I done enough for you?

"Still so angry, Severus?" a voice said with a tired cheerfulness. A voice which Severus thought he'd never hear again. A voice which, now he'd come to think of it, he didn't want to hear again. Very much against his will, his eyes popped open - to see Albus in all his purple glory, sitting in the Headmaster's chair, in the Headmaster's office.

"You're finally awake, dear boy!" cried Albus merrily, his previous melancholy dropping away as fast as Severus' wariness rose. Where was he? Severus' eyes cataloged the strange paintings on the wall, the horrendous eccentric fripperies which he was sure he'd disposed of upon becoming Headmaster, and Albus himself. Who was smiling at him and twinkling at him and generally acting as if the war had never happened, as if he'd never been murdered by Severus' own hand.

But it did happen, Severus told himself, ruthlessly squelching his fragile hope. Memories, so many horrific memories were tied to this man sitting in front of him. This is either a hallucination, time travel or an elaborate hoax. Though there'd be no point in putting such effort into a hoax, surely...

"Or it could be, that you're meeting me in the Afterlife," said Albus gently, smiling down at Severus. Down? With no little chagrin, Severus realized that he was kneeling on the ground, in a pose much reminiscent of the one he'd used so many years ago to beg Albus for deliverance. Which I will not do again. Never, never again. The memories rose further, threatening to upset the lid he'd forced upon them repeatedly. Severus scowled and immediately rose to loom imposingly, registering that the pain had disappeared. When had he last enjoyed feeling no pain? Too long ago to remember.

"Indeed, Headmaster," Severus' voice was neutral and gave nothing away. He would not call Albus by his name, not unless he could be sure that it was truly him. He may be telling the truth, but then again, I can't discount that all this might be a hallucination, or even a new form of the Dark Lord's torture. Why should my Afterlife start in the Headmaster's Office? There was a symbolism about this which he did not care to investigate. If only there was a way to prove it one way or another, but in the meantime..."And I respectfully request that you cease reading my mind, Headmaster."

"Rather impossible, my boy!" Albus' cheerfulness was beginning to grate on Severus significantly. "You're not leaving much room to conceal your thoughts, after all. Now Harry, Harry had chosen the King's Cross Station. Isn't it interesting to see that the Station is where he'd thought his life had begun?"

"Potter was here?" Severus' thoughts stuttered. A hoax, remember, it might all be a hoax! But his instincts were telling him differently. Hallucinations are rarely so detailed. And the Dark Lord's torture rarely so subtle. And if Albus was to be believed, and Potter had came to the Afterlife, then had the Dark Lord won? Had all his effort been useless? Had...?

"Oh no, no, don't alarm yourself so much! All is well," Albus hastened to reassure him. As if I needed pacifying! Severus was beginning to get angry; a much better reaction than confusion and fear."Quite a noble boy, our Harry. He came, but he chose to go back. And as of this moment, he has finally defeated Voldemort."

Severus involuntarily flinched at the name, and grew angrier at his failure to hide his flinch. Anger, to shield against the bitter joy he felt swirling like bile in his throat. Finally, my Lord. No, no longer my lord. In death, you shall not be my master. "I see." But no, he didn't see. He didn't understand what he was doing here, what Albus meant by Potter 'going back', why, despite all that he'd done, Albus was speaking to him so lovingly...

"Harry had a choice. To go on, or go back," Albus' voice grew softer, as if he could feel Severus' turmoil. Which he probably can, Severus thought, and made a grim attempt to suppress his emotions for now. "And here, you have a choice too. The precautions you took to ward against Nagini's bite were admirable and will prevail. But only if you want it to. It all depends on your will to live, Severus."

Severus blinked. My will to live? He had been prepared for all contingencies. He had not prepared for a choice. He had taken those precautions to ensure that he'd be there if the moronic Potter horror failed, but now that he'd killed Voldemort...I'd be superfluous if I'd go back. My path is clear. Though if I go on, what will be in store? Hell? Punishment? I'll take it all gladly. Anything would be better than what I've been living through.

"I have no intention of going back to see Potter gloat and preen," he snarled. "Coward!" Snarling Potter face, hateful Lily-green eyes. It was getting harder to repress these memories.

"Ah, poor Harry deserves to be happy. As do you, Severus. A well-deserved rest is what you need, now."

"Hmph. As if I've a choice." In fact, Severus rather doubted that he would get any rest. An eternity of peace while remembering his sins? Impossible. Not to mention, Potter would probably be there, along with Black. Would we have to forget and forgive, he sneered at that thought, everything? It was the lesser of two evils, but still, Severus hardly looked forward to it. I shall bear it, as I have borne everything else. I shall not let them cheat me of my peace. I shall...

"Oh Severus," Albus' face had turned sad now. Examining Severus' dour expression, Albus seemed to hesitate. Finally, however, he said reluctantly, "That's...not the only choice you may take, dear boy."

Severus blinked. "I was unaware that there'd be more choices available," he said distrustfully.

"There are always choices, Severus. In this case, an infinity of them. You may come with me, to where we belong, to enjoy peace. Or you may choose to live again, in another world or another time. Reincarnation, of a sort."

Severus' first impulse was to choose to go with Albus. To find peace, to see his mother, to see Lily...

But then ugly skepticism reared its head. That would be too good to be true. He was not a good man, nor was he able to discard his past at will. Too many memories, too many regrets; it's impossible to just settle down among fields of flowers and be happy. Though I would, if I had to. But, now that I can choose, I want another chance. To do things right. To start anew.

A sigh broke his thoughts, and he jerked at feeling Albus' arms wind around him and squeeze him tight. "It's your decision, dear boy. Just know that we'll be here for you. Always. Always, and forever." The sad, sentimental words twisted in Severus' guts but firmed his resolve. I do not want to spend the Afterlife with only terrible memories of my humanity. I want more. He freed himself gently and took a few steps back. "How do I choose, Albus?"

Albus sighed again, suddenly looking old...but loving, still loving. A tiny, forlorn part of Severus was warmed to see this. "The portraits tell all. Look your fill, and choose. And if," here his voice took on a hopeful whisper, "just if, you reconsider, Severus, we can walk out the door now. Together." Severus looked at him, and at the office door, or rather, the door to Beyond. And for a moment, he imagined an ideal place. With Lily. The best friend he'd ever had. The best friend who he'd killed. And Albus. The mentor who he'd loved. The mentor who he'd killed.

No, Albus. I can't. I won't. Severus turned his eyes away forcibly, to scan the paintings. Different scenes, different worlds lay behind each. Choose one. Choose one. Choose any. A new life. One without regrets. One which I can be proud of, when I finally move on.

He jabbed at one peaceful, happy scene. Not much different from the Afterlife he'd imagined, but in reincarnation he'd be free of memories. Free of regrets."This one."

"Are you sure, my boy?"

"Yes."

"Truly? There's no hurry." Yes, there is. I need to decide, before the memories overwhelm me. "We could talk more. Discuss your choices. And you might change yo..."

"Yes I'm sure. Albus, please." He knew what would happen if he lingered. Albus and his silver tongue would persuade him to do whatever Albus wanted, as always. The storm of memories, suppressed and carefully tucked away from the Dark Lord's invasive mind for so long, rose higher. Albus' falling. Cold looks. Hateful insults. Lily-green eyes. Crucio, crucio, crucio. Not Lily, please not Lily. Spare her. Spare me. I don't want to remember. Please.

"...Very well, my boy. Live your life. And when you're done...come back to us."

Severus took one last look of Albus. A long look, committing his image to a memory which he would soon lose. Had he made the right choice? Yes. Not even in the Afterlife could he escape the horrors. But in a new life, he might. He had loved him. He had hated him. He could now forget him. And Severus chose...life.