Love Hina Fan Fiction / Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Bubblegum Crisis Tokyo 2040 Fan Fiction ❯ Bat Tales ❯ Birthday Part 2 ( Chapter 7 )

Finally! Here’s the confrontation between Gendo Ikari and Shinji Ikari that we all wanted to see… But never got to, because Hideki Anno is a sadistic bastard. But that’s okay.

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Shinji was really in a fix now. His computer link to the MAGI confirmed that the entire Geofront had been put into Lockdown Mode. That meant that no one without the proper codes could so much as open a maintenance hatch without the correct fractal code sequence. His own supercomputers back in the Cave weren’t powerful enough to take on even one MAGI, much less three.

Even worse, Rei and Maya were in NERV. Rei for tests, and Maya for her job. He would be on his own this time.

No different from before, he reminded himself, as the Batmobile roared through the city streets. He came to a stop at the Tokyo-3 Municipal Center in the downtown area. He double-checked the map on the Batmobile’s computer screen, before jumping out amid surprised onlookers. Quickly, he hit his utility belt control that locked the Batmobile up securely, before he ran to the side of the large building. He plugged his palmtop computer into a panel of the massive locks that kept the skyscraper from plummeting down into the Geofront, and began the number crunching.

“C’mon… C’mon…” The Lockdown had sealed off the entrances for people and vehicles…

CHUNK! CHUNK! CHUNK! CHUNK! CHUNK! The lock before Batman disengaged, finally opening. Down below, in between the electromagnetic supports, was a clear path all the way down into the Geofront. Shinji smirked, as he threw a grapnel around a light pole, and began to repel down through the space between the locks, completely ignoring the growing crowd of spectators.

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“Oh my… It appears Batman has discovered a way into the Geofront!” The Joker gasped dramatically, at the scene on his holoscreen in the commandeered office of Gendo Ikari. The mad clown grinned.

“We’ll just have to reward his ingenuity, won’t we Mari dear?” The little girl, unaware of the danger she and the city was in, merely smiled happily.

“Like… With a present?”

“Of course! The present… Of an entire building! Just for him! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The Joker pressed a single button on his desk, and above them, the rest of the locks for the building Batman had chosen to make his entry into NERV came undone.

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The Dark Knight did not freeze when he heard the distinct sound of the other locks of the skyscraper opening. He let go of the rope and fell the rest of the way down through the armor plating between the surface and the Geofront, just as the skyscraper began to slide down like a thousand freight trains roaring down a single tunnel. He fired a zipline and swung away before the hundreds of thousands of tons of concrete, steel and glass could splatter him like a bug on a windshield. He flew then, high over the wide green fields of the Geofront, his zipline the only string this Peter Pan needed to stay in the air.

He then noticed that the ground was getting a lot closer, a lot faster than it should have been. He looked up. He wished he hadn’t.

“Damnit.” The rest of the skyscrapers were now coming down. Shinji fired a second zipline to the top (or bottom, it depended upon your point of view) of the first skyscaper to drop down on his head, and swung even lower. He ignored the near-deafening sounds of an entire city descending under the ground, as he focused on a single, white pyramid far below.

Batman’s eyes narrowed. He switched to the linear jumpline launcher-The one that fired a line from the back and the front, allowing him to slide to a target, rather than swing to one on a zipline and a grapnel. He fired it at the pyramid, and soon zipped down the high-tensile wire at high speed. Dangerous speed, even.

Shinji fried a de-cel line, just a few moments too late, as the large windows of Gendo Ikari’s office came into view. Batman braced himself.

SKRASH! The Dark Knight came through the glass, rolling and slapping his hands on the floor to get rid of potentially lethal momentum, before shooting up into a fighting stance.

No one was in the office, save a tied and gagged Fuyutsuki. Batman frowned, before going over to the Sub-Commander and undoing the brightly colored ribbon gagging the old man.

“Thank God,” gasped Fuyutsuki. “He’s gone to the Eva cages… He has the girl…”

Batman flew out the door, leaving Fuyutsuki wriggling on the floor.

“Hey! HEY! What about me?”

Batman ducked back in, produced a batarang, swiftly cut the old man free from the ropes and ribbons, and ran back out as fast as he could. Fuyutsuki rubbed his wrists, smiling wryly.

“Always in a hurry… Like his father…” Fuyutsuki shook his head again and sighed. As much as he disliked the senior Ikari, he hoped that both father and son would emerge from this battle alive.

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“Well folks, it seems that Batman is going to make it after all,” the Joker crooned sadistically. His ever-present grin widened. Above him, the usually-grim visage of Eva Unit 01 was now made up with Groucho Marx glasses, large enough to fit over the bio-mech’s massive face.

“Too bad it won’t matter though, huh kiddies? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!” Mari Suzuhara, gagged with her party hat, thrashed violently in the ropes binding her to her cake, with the dynamite candles already lit. Joker cackled again and pranced about the doomed girl.

“Such a shame, that this birthday has to be your last, eh Mari dear? But, at least you’re going out with a bang! HAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAA…” The mad clown trailed off, and glared at his henchclowns. They stared back at him blankly.

“Laugh, damn you!” He snarled, drawing two comically oversized guns and pointing them at the shocked henchmen and women, who nervously laughed in response. The Joker, seemingly satisfied, put the guns away.

“It’s always good to find material that works, isn’t it folks? If humor doesn’t do it, guns sure will! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA-OOF!” The camera was treated to the sight of a black blur slamming into the Joker, sending the Clown Prince of Crime sprawling across the catwalk, Batman looming dangerously over him.

“Guh… Batty! What a pleasant surprise! You don’t know how long we’ve been waiting,” Joker grinned. “GET ‘IM!” The henchclowns moved as one, seemingly dog piling the Dark Knight, except for the blurred black figure that moved between and above and below them, landing punches and kicks and strikes in such fast succession he resembled a video on fast forward.

The Joker had taken refuge by the cake and Mari, and grinned as he held onto the oversized clock. “Guess we won’t need this anymore, huh?” He threw it at Batman, which slammed into the back of his head and sent him to the deck, as the remaining conscious henchclowns roughly dragged him up to his feet and held him, even as he struggled, before the mad clown. Joker grinned devilishly, as he walked right up to Batman’s face.

“Well Batsy… I’m sure you didn’t expect this when you went to work today? Having the clock punch you! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! But now that you’re here, let’s take the time to get to know each other better! We’ll be good friends, I think, you and I!”

“Like I’d be friends with syphilis,” Batman snarled back. Joker frowned, before laughing.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Syphilis! Good one, Bats! Looks like you DO have a sense of humor after all! SO… What will it be? Die with the fan girl when her cake goes KABLOOIE in about, oh… 63 seconds… Drown in the bakelite? Or have a fun time with my SmileX? What do you choose?”

“How about a nice kick to the head, clownie!” Shouted a furious feminine voice behind the Joker. He turned, and was met by the proclamation just made, from a violent-looking red head.

“NO BODY saves the day but ME, got it, you stupid grease paint bitch!” Asuka snarled, kicking the Joker hard in the stomach with every word. The mad clown gasped pathetically, as the henchmen, distracted, handily fell to a surprise attack by Batman.

The Dark Knight looked up at Asuka with a glare. “Stay out of this, Langley. You’re too important to get killed in something like this.”

“Oh bite me, Bat-freak,” Asuka drawled. “Like this is hard.”

CRACK! The red head went down to a rubber chicken in the face, as the Joker, wheezing but still grinning, got to his feet.

“HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! Now, where were we, Batsy? A cheerful chat on the merits of a GOOD DISTRACTIONS!” Joker shoved the cake and Mari at Batman, before turning and running. Wasting no time, Batman put out the dynamite candles, undid Mari’s bonds, before firing a zipline and swinging after the Joker. Mari gaped after the Dark Knight, before turning her head to the moaning Asuka.

“I never get to say thank you,” the little girl sighed. “But, maybe I can help…”

She pulled herself over to the groaning redhead, and began checking her for serious injury.

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The Joker rounded the bend and headed into Unit 00’s pen, laughing all the way, even as Batman swung after him. This was turning out to be a blast! The most fun he’d had since taking Rei to a porno movie. That had been hilarious.

“HA AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA-AUGH!” Joker felt a familiar boot slam into the back of his head, and he hit the deck once more. He felt his nose crack, and groaned, as Batman roughly pulled him up to his feet. He grabbed him by the collar and slammed him against the railing of the catwalk, snarling dangerously in his face.

“Allright, clown. Where did you stash Commander Ikari?”

“Why, he’s right here! But you’ll never guess where! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! And, speaking of stashing, perhaps you should be more worried about what I’VE got stashed, hm?” The Joker held out a hand, as Batman’s eyes traced the movement. The Joker slipped a gun out of his left sleeve, and fired.

“GAH!” Shinji’s head jerked violently from the point-blank shot, and slumped to the floor. The Joker wiped the blood streaming from his nose off, before grinning down at the prostrate Dark Knight.

“Aw, too bad, Bats! Guess you’re just not like the original-Coming back from the dead when you least-ACK!” The apparently dead Batman had latched a hand onto the Joker’s throat, as he grinned ferally.

“What were you saying, Smiley?” Batman slammed the Joker into the floor, using this momentum to get to his feet and pin the mad clown in a wrestling move. Joker thrashed about, viciously, gritting his white teeth. Though Shinji now had a HELL of a headache (the Kevlar-reinforced cowl had saved his life at the expense of his comfort), he smirked in triumph.

“There’s no way out, Smiley. You’re going down,” Batman snarled. The Joker paused, before grinning wickedly.

“I don’t think so, Batsy!” The clown’s flower burst into a bright light, that sent Batman back, clutching his eyes. The Joker, however, was also blinded, and went tottering around the catwalk in a stagger, until…

“OH NOOOOOO…” Batman got up, and blinking through the spots on his vision, saw the Joker tumble off the catwalk and into the bakelite below. In a burst of speed, Batman rushed after him, jumping off and firing a zipline behind him, as he dove after the screaming clown…

But it was too late. The Joker splashed down into the cryogenic fluids below and vanished, as Batman dangled over the spot where he fell, his gauntlet still outreached to try and save the psychopath. Batman looked down mournfully, before hitting the autowench to ascend back to the catwalk.

Waiting at the top, looking astonished, was Ritsuko Akagi. Shinji suddenly felt exhausted-He’d been running on pure adrenaline since he saw the Joker’s first broadcast. He walked, uneasily, into the doctor’s open arms, trying to stay awake, trying to stay strong…

But the words I’ve taken a life, echoed through his mind. It’s my fault…

Ritsuko dragged the unconscious Batman away to a secret entrance only she knew of. She had to get him out of here before Section 2 finally got off their asses and began to secure NERV.

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Shinji awoke to the feeling of a cool cloth rubbing his forehead. His bare forehead.

“AHH!” A very feminine squeak of pain answered his grab for a thin wrist, as he opened his eyes. Maya stared down at him with wide eyes. He looked about. He was in the NERV infirmary… A number of his wounds had been treated… His head was bandaged…

“You’re awake. That’s good news,” Ritsuko Akagi said, entering the small room with a warm smile. Shinji tried to stay calm. Even though he’d saved her life a number of times, would Ritsuko turn him into his father anyway?

“I know what you’re thinking,” the faux blonde spoke. She smiled warmly. “Don’t worry… You can keep at it… Just be more careful with my… Shall we say… assets?” Her cat-like smirk brought a blush to Shinji’s face, and a jealous look from Maya.

“Shinji-kun. I am glad you are all right,” Rei interjected, as she entered the examination room and latched onto Shinji tightly, nuzzling his bare chest. “I was very worried when they said you had fallen down an escalator.”

“Urgh… So was I,” Shinji noted dryly, as Ritsuko and Maya winked at him. Asuka groaned as she staggered into the examination room as well, rubbing her bandaged head as well.

“Feh… Baka falls down the stairs and gets like that… I took on the Joker! Ha!” The three women tried very hard not to laugh, while Shinji sweat dropped.

“… What? What’s so funny?” Asuka shook her head and muttered something in German, before Ritsuko escorted her back to her bed.

“Um, I think I should warn you, Shinji,” Maya began hesitantly.

“Yes?”

“Misato’s on her way from the command deck… She just heard you were injured-” Maya was distracted by a low noise, that began to grow exponentially. Shinji soon began to make out the sound distinctively, but by then it was too late.

“SHHHINNNNNNJJJJIIIIII-KUNNNNNN!” The purple-haired woman shrieked, in a potent mixture of joy and fear. Shinji also screamed-Mostly in fear-as Hurricane Katsuragi pounced on the hospital bed.

“AUGH! MISATO! PLEASE!”

“Major Misato! What the hell are you doing to Shinji?!”

“Quit it, you drunken slut!”

“Major Misato, please desist…”

“Oh dear, ma’am! Ma’am! Please! Stop! Shinji needs his rest!”

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Gendo Ikari rubbed the bridge of his nose, grumbling to himself, as he sat in his repaired office. Fuyutsuki, still sulking because of Gendo’s performance as the Joker, sat elsewhere.

“I’m glad we had that secret escape hatch installed in the Eva cages,” Gendo began, still rubbing his heavily bandaged broken nose.

“Did you HAVE to tie me up?” Fuyutsuki complained. Gendo gritted his teeth, stopped because of the pain, then sighed.

“For the last time, Sensei… YES. It was necessary. Appearances.”

“And yet, you STILL failed to best Batman,” Fuyutsuki pointed out. “What’s the committee going to say about this?”

“They can say what they want,” Gendo snarled. “Instrumentality will proceed on schedule. NOW NO MORE LIP! You know how Bakelite burns heal! THEY ITCH LIKE MAD!” Fuyutsuki stiffly stood up, walked over to his former student, produced a pair of oven mitts and duct tape, and applied them.

“There. Now you don’t have to worry about scratching them,” Fuyutsuki observed dryly, as Gendo shouted muffled expletives behind the duct tape applied to his mouth, and struggled against the bonds of duct tape around his wrists and hands. Fuyutsuki keyed in a request to the nurse on standby at the door, and had her wheel the fuming commander out to his limo and home. Fuyutsuki smirked-The nurse had a… Reputation. Hopefully, it would make up for Gendo’s bad day and make his old student a bit happier when he came back to work next Friday after recovery from the Joker’s attack.

Fuyutsuki looked around, then pulled up a holowindow of Shinji Ikari’s hospital bed. The old man smirked at his unofficial ‘godson’, as the number of woman fawning over him grew. He shook his head.

“Like father… Like son…” At least in regards to women. Any more similarities and Fuyutsuki would have to kill himself. One Gendo Ikari was enough. Two was unthinkable…

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HOORAY! Sixth chapter complete! Now, remember to hit the button down on the left and leave a nice review! And feel free to offer suggestions to me about the future of this story. There’s still a lot to cover!

~Talon