Love Hina Fan Fiction ❯ I never saw this coming ❯ -Chapter 1: We have to start somewhere- ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: Ken Akamatsu wrote 'Love Hina' and he owns the rights. I wrote this tale for fun and seek no re-dress from it.

Writer's note: The title comes from events that happened to the people living at the Hinata. Some of them need to do a double take, think deeply about what is going on, or just say 'WTF'. Or, this is an absurd story about absurd people doing absurd things.

It starts off as a comedy, turns into a comedy-of-errors and then that is when the real fun begins. The breaking of the 'fourth wall' is a common recurrence throughout the story.

Please do not look for a point to this story because there is none.

Warning: If incest bothers you, do not read this story. Go somewhere else as future chapters will be full of it. (Literally…)

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Our tale begins simple enough…

Urashima Keitaro sat on the roof of his home which looked out over Hinata City down below and towards the metropolis of Tokyo off in the distance. Ensconced here, he mulled over certain choices that he has made over the past few years concerning his life. Well, his life as it is now. It was also something that was long past overdue.

Things were really strange around what used to be the old Hinata Inn and Girl's Hostel, which had the owner now wondering if Karma had bitch-slapped everyone upside the head who lived there.

However, he was not alone in this opinion. We will come back to that later…

Rolling back time somewhat to before this little roof scene:

Finally, Keitaro had passed that damned two-day Tokyo University entrance exam. Due to a lack of foresight, he had failed the same test on two earlier occasions. That was the reason for his present living situation, as he had to deal with a bunch of misfit young women and their countless idiosyncrasies. Plus, he has a cousin who has her claws deeply sunk into him. (We will talk about this later.)

Since he was the only son (at least that was what he believed) and believed that his only sister was adopted (He doubted that as well), his so-called father had expected him to take over the family's successful Patisserie and Confectionary. For some reason, his mother never really involved herself with it.

'Like that shit is ever going to happen,' Keitaro thought back in the present day. He then had some pleasant company join him as his musings continued.

At the time, Keitaro had loftier goals for his life, but said life and one woman named Urashima Hinata threw a big 'monkey-wrench' into that mix when she gave him the Hinata to run. It was a real bitch in the beginning, since he knew at least three of the young women who lived there. (And that cousin with her sharpened talons…)

(At least he ended up getting the better of his grandmother later in the story, as we shall find out…)

After he went to the university and found that his number had been posted, Keitaro shortly needed to choose a course of study and register for classes. Since digging in the ground no longer fascinated him, he decided to take a different course of study and opted instead for a business degree like his mother. He chose computer graphic design as a minor since he had a love of drawing and art.

(He did not regret any of these choices…)

A certain brunette named Narusegawa Naru had disappeared from his view shortly after she went into the city with him, and another tenant named Otohime Mutsumi to check out the Toudai applicant acceptance postings. Standing there, Naru stared at the board in disbelief, and when Keitaro turned to say something to her, she yelled, "Fuck off," and disappeared into the crowd.

However, Keitaro did receive a nice surprise from his other companion that day.

For some reason, Keitaro decided not to go after Naru when she ran away. There were too many times when she had launched him across the sky for perceived perversions, and as such, would cause a man finally to 'wise up' no matter how much he might love that woman. It was not worth his time, and he no longer cared.

Her petulance here was the last straw.

Sighing over lost opportunities, Keitaro happily walked to the tram station alone and went home. Nothing was going to ruin his day as he had too much to celebrate.

(At least no Naru punch had come his way…)

In the middle of climbing the steps up to his home, he made the decision to call his mother and tell her the good news. Maybe he could finally get back into her good graces after their falling out, but he did not count on it.

As he stood there, Keitaro pulled out his cell phone and dialed a familiar number.

His mother was pleased and wanted to say more, but both fumbled after his first announcement. She did want to tell him something, and after some awkward silence, he hung up.

At least he no longer lived underneath her roof. He still hated the man he had called father.

Shrugging, Keitaro put that thought out of his mind and finished his climb.

After he slid open the front door to his home, Keitaro saw that the other residents had hung a banner that read, 'おめでとなさい', across the main stairwell. (Writer's note: Omedetō nasai = Congratulations.)

With a smile at their recognition of his accomplishment, he took off his shoes and put on his house-slippers.

That done, the newly minted Toudai student saw six pairs of eyes as they gawked at him.

None of them knew what to think at that moment, because Keitaro was all by himself.

"What the fuck?" whispered Kitsune loud enough for Keitaro to hear.

The others ignored her.

After he stepped into the main house, Keitaro stood there alone with a smile and allowed the anticipation to swell for a few moments. There was nothing worse than just blurting out good news.

A pregnant Haruka and a now twelve-year-old Sarah were up here as well. For quite different reasons, however.

The four remaining residents sat with them in the common room.

"Well, Keitaro," said Haruka who finally broke the silence. For once, she did not have a burning cigarette hanging from her lips. She had quit smoking due to her pregnancy.

"Mutsumi and I both passed. No clue about Naru though, it seems she has run off somewhere," quipped Keitaro. His tone was rather neutral for some reason.

"It's about time, Keitaro," said Sarah sarcastically. Since puberty, nature has calmed her disposition, and besides that, was very generous to her. That was probably why she did not pull any priceless artifacts out of thin air and smash them over his head.

Seated beside her, Haruka chuckled and was in fact happy that he had finally passed his exam. In contrast, she easily passed it and got her degree a year early before getting the Japanese equivalent of an MBA. Before she went home, Haruka said she wanted to give Keitaro a special congratulations the next time he came over.

Later that day, Kaolla tried to kick Keitaro in the face from the stairwell to acknowledge his achievement. Somehow, he managed to sidestep the Princess and caught her instead. When he set the young teen down on her feet, she blushed very deeply.

"I'm glad you caught me this time, Keitaro," the Princess said with a smile before she kissed his cheek and happily scampered away.

Any mention of a certain hotheaded brunette or melon-girl that went absent, was missing from the supper conversation that evening. Keitaro saw three other young women who smiled at him: One, now fully recovered and a very sober Fox had fallen in love with Keitaro and patiently waited for the right time to finally step in; Two, a demon-slaying Samurai who had just defeated her older sister in a duel and then surprisingly confessed her love to the man she used to despise; and lastly, a no longer shy petite chef as she surprised him the most.

On the roof once again, Keitaro smiled about what had happened to him later that same evening.

After eating a meal which was fit for the emperor himself, Keitaro got up from the table and headed over to the onsen. Not to clean it mind you, but to use it.

Seated on the men's side, he stripped and began to wash himself. With a smile on his face over the fact that he would shortly be a Toudai student, Keitaro knew that he needed to set some new priorities for his life.

However, Keitaro was not alone for long as certain other priorities now set themselves into motion.

The door slid open and closed just as quickly.

"Hey, sweetie," said the sultry voice of a Kansai-accented Fox, "Haruka-san and Sarah-chan just left, so I came out here to see if I could wash your back."

Keitaro turned and gazed upon Kitsune as she stood there wrapped in nothing but a towel. A noticeably short towel, which strained itself across her huge boobs…

All he could do was nod.

Thankfully, Keitaro did not get a nosebleed or pass out. But another part of him responded and did so rather splendidly.

Sauntering over to him, Kitsune saw how splendidly. A huge smile crossed her face…

Less than a minute later, the door slid open again and Motoko had stepped in. Wordlessly, she regarded the fact that Kitsune had beaten her to him. Not allowing that to deter her, she stepped over while wearing a full-on blush and joined her housemate to care for Keitaro's needs. Her towel also seemed too short for her statuesque well-endowed body.

Kneeling beside Kitsune, Motoko began to wash him as well.

No longer silent about this present situation, Motoko got her courage up and declared, "After defeating my Ane-ue in a duel, I had openly declared my love for Keitaro-sama. I now wish to renew that confession."

Without hesitation, she stunned the two.

That was when she leaned in and kissed Keitaro full on the mouth with a lot of tongue. That was her first French kiss.

Recovering quickly, Kitsune laughed and said, "Let the man breathe, Motoko-chan."

When she broke the kiss, Motoko moved aside and sensed that Keitaro could not fully register anything at that moment. Before she could kiss him again, Kitsune stepped in.

"Let me show you how it is done," said a smiling Fox. She grabbed the still slightly stunned Keitaro and kissed him for all he was worth.

While all of these shenanigans went on in the wash area, a third person silently strode in clad like the other two and declared in a soft, but very firm voice, "I want to kiss him too!" Her towel was almost to her knees…

Kitsune, Motoko and a stupefied Keitaro stopped, they then looked over at the towel clad Shinobu. It was a big surprise for the three of them.

The smoldering look from deep within Shinobu's eyes spoke volumes on many levels. Seeing Kitsune and Motoko fawn all over the object of her desire, it was something that she too had been working her courage up for.

And so…

…without further ado.

Back on the roof, Keitaro chuckled at what happened next.

"We should move aside and see what she does, Motoko-chan," said Kitsune who laughed at the irony. For quite a while, she has secretly been rooting for Shinobu.

All three were in shock when Shinobu straddled a soap-covered Keitaro and placed her arms around his neck. She then said to him, "I love you, Senpai," and then went ahead to give Keitaro a kiss that left him with a long-lasting impression of her. As well as partially devastated…

Out the side of her mouth, Kitsune said to Motoko, "We both had been duped by that fainting and screaming act of hers." The young girl had thoroughly impressed her.

To which Motoko could only nod, because she could not take her eyes off the spectacle which was playing itself out before her. It staggered her imagination and gave her new ideas for another romance novel.

Nonetheless, things did not end there. Not by a longshot. (Nevertheless, he was far from being a virgin.)

Keitaro turned a slight bit red at the next memory…

In the onsen with three towel-clad beauties was the least of Keitaro's problems that evening. The problems (or opportunities) began when all three doffed their coverings and gave him a good view of what was now available if he wanted it.

Minor nosebleeds aside, no one except for Kaolla got any sleep that night. When he went to bed after that evening, there would always be someone in it with him. Next morning, three young women woke up a little sore between their legs and had a smile on their faces.

'I am so going to hell for what I did that night,' he mused with a laugh.

A few weeks later, Keitaro remembered that he had received an even bigger surprise.

Afterwards, he ordered a king-sized bed for his newly expanded room and arranged for its delivery.

That was when Mutsumi and Naru came waltzing in the front door. The two women held hands as they seemed to be without a care in the world. Both wore the same sunny smile on their faces as they now stood in the foyer.

"Where in the hell have you two been for last couple of weeks?" asked Keitaro who looked both annoyed and relieved at the same time. He had just finished repairing the hole in Naru's floor. Well, that ended that, anyhow…

A slight pause in momentum here, as the two women took a moment to digest a change in Keitaro's attitude.

There was no over-reaction from a certain brunette, only a sigh. One of relief more than sadness.

"Well, Keitaro. That is what Naru-chan and I need to talk to you about," said Mutsumi out-of-the-blue and with no preamble. First, she looked to Naru, who nodded, and then back to Keitaro.

"What? No hello first," blurted Keitaro as his annoyance kicked in. He was no longer afraid of any consequences from the former object of his obsession.

"Gomen," muttered the two as they doffed off their shoes.

Since no one else was home at that time, Keitaro had the three off them sit in the common room so that they could talk.

There was a pregnant pause at first, then…

"You first," said Keitaro straight-faced. He wanted to get to the bottom of what had happened to them and receive some closure at the same time. It was then that Keitaro almost regretted saying those two words.

As Mutsumi started in with her story, nothing prepared Keitaro for what she was about to confess to him. It concerned the time that she and Naru had been away. For support, she kept a hold onto Naru's hand.

Although not as dense as he once was, Keitaro took notice of their body language. That was when things began to dawn on him.

'It could only happen to me,' he thought back on the roof.

However, to encapsulate the events of what happened: Naru thought she had failed her exam, ran off to Kyoto in a snit to think, Mutsumi chased after and found her, they talked and afterwards confessed to each other.

He knew it had to be thus, because his luck with these two had always been bad, or even iffy at best.

Next, Naru gave him something good to chew on…

"The Dean of Students called me on my cell phone a couple of days later and told me that there had been a glitch in the grading system. It seems that my score was tabulated incorrectly, as were a few others, and they had to re-total them. When all was said and done, I had an extremely high score," said Naru happily who would start an Education curriculum in April because she wanted to be a teacher.

"Excellent," said Keitaro with a smile.

Now, the other shoe drops…

"We must confess something else as well, Kei-kun," said Mutsumi who felt rather sheepish, "It was not you that I had confessed to when we were children. I recently found out that it was to Naru-chan instead that I had confessed to (She held up their clasped hands), but it seems that we all were too young to know who it was at the time. My Oba-san told me what really had happened and who said what."

"Hmmm…," he replied with a slight head tilt, "then that explains it."

His mild response flabbergasted the two.

The hole only became deeper, as Keitaro received another big surprise.

With her courage gathered, Naru released Mutsumi's hand and stood to face Keitaro. She bowed and said, "Please forgive me for my violent behavior and for always hitting you when I lost my temper. With Mutsumi-chan's help, I finally realized why I had reacted so violently towards you." Stopping suddenly, she looked back at Mutsumi.

The Okinawan smiled and patted the couch next to her. She saw that what they wanted to confess to Keitaro next was exceedingly difficult for Naru to do.

Seated again, Naru took a hold of Mutsumi's hand once more and breathed a big sigh of relief.

"Whoa," said Keitaro as he stared at his former flame. He never saw that one coming.

"Keitaro," said Mutsumi after a few moments of silence, "I am going to come right out and say this, as you have a right to know. (Pause) When Naru-chan saw that her name was not on the board, she ran off. After kissing you for passing the exam, I chased after her. A short time later, I caught up to her and we talked for quite a while. Then, we boarded a train for Kyoto and stayed down there with some relatives of mine."

His hunch was right.

Here is where Naru chimed in again after she had worked up some more courage. "When we were alone at her Oba-san's house, Mutsumi-chan listened to me as I ranted and raved about everything. It finally dawned on me why I became so violent and lashed out at you the way I did. To put it mildly Keitaro, and with no offense to you, I do not like men in a romantic way."

Listening intently, Keitaro at last realized why Naru had always pushed him away. That last sentence of hers clued him in. It sideswiped him a little, but he did have plenty of hints that he conveniently chose to ignore. Maybe it was because he thought that she was his so-called 'promise girl'.

"Yes, Keitaro," interjected Mutsumi, "I believe you know what she is talking about."

Nodding, Keitaro came right out and said, "You two are gay. That can be the only explanation as to why she would violently launch me into lower earth orbit." He did not expect a violent response from the brunette.

Naru and Mutsumi nodded together in acknowledgment. The brunette felt sheepish and turned a deep shade of red.

"Motherfucker," hissed Keitaro in a whisper at their confirmation. Inside, he tried extremely hard to keep from laughing.

Both women missed that euphemism as the chat continued…

"I have always been bisexual, Keitaro," said Mutsumi who clarified things a bit more, then added, "But I was always attracted to women more than men."

"Me, I came out about two weeks ago after letting go of all my anger," confessed Naru who had nothing else to lose as she admitted this to him. However, that was not the end of it.

Today, Keitaro would not be the only one to receive a surprise.

Back in the present, Keitaro laughed aloud…

…the others present all looked his way.

As he took some time to let it all sink in, Keitaro asked the two many questions about the time that they were away. Patiently, he waited for an opportunity to drop his own little bombshell.

"Well, Kei-kun," said Mutsumi in a more familiar tone, "if we can continue to live here, Naru-chan and I would like to share are room together."

"That should not be a problem, Mutsumi," replied Keitaro.

While she saw how well her former suitor had taken everything in stride so far, it perplexed Naru to no end. She was about to ask her own questions, when Keitaro interrupted her.

"You are not the only one who has something to confess…," said Keitaro before the front door slid open and interrupted him.

As he began to make his explanation, into the front foyer came Kitsune, Motoko and Shinobu from outside. Noisily, the three changed out of their street shoes.

An explanation of what he had been up to was about to play itself out before the eyes of our newly minted yuri couple.

Having put on their house slippers, the trio at first headed towards the main stairway. Having espied the object of their affection as he sat in the common room, they quickly veered off and headed towards Keitaro.

When she saw what happened next, Naru almost had a massive stroke.

Shinobu, who was first into the common room, ran up and without any hesitation, straddled Keitaro's lap. Next, she threw her arms around his neck and gave him a big French kiss in front of the two opposite them.

Surprised like her girlfriend, Mutsumi smiled at the scene which was playing itself out before her.

"Damn it! The little minx beat me to him again," said Kitsune as she entered the room. Out-of-hand, she ignored the two runaways.

At the ash-blonde's statement, Motoko smiled and snickered. Unlike her older housemate, she waited patiently for the other two to finish with him. Like the Fox, she had nothing to say to the two returnees as well.

They all knew that Keitaro would deal with them.

"What the hell is this? Shinobu is only fifteen," hissed Naru barely above a whisper.

Stunned, Naru thought she was hallucinating when her old crony gave Keitaro a full-on tongue-laden kiss after Kitsune was through.

"She won't be eighteen until December," said Mutsumi for clarification as she giggled.

The brunette shook her head and whispered, "Okay, turnabout is fair play."

"I see what has been going on while Naru-chan and I were away," said Mutsumi who laughed openly at the irony while reaching over and giving her girlfriend a comforting pat on the knee.

With all the players in place save for two: Shinobu turned but stayed on Keitaro's lap; Kitsune took his right side and Motoko ensconced herself on his left. The two leaned closely into him.

As an alarm went off in her head, Motoko perceived a look of incredulity on Naru's face and tensed up in case she wanted to get violent with her lover. The demon-slayer then noticed her holding hands with the other woman.

Assessing the situation quickly, Kitsune said, "Well, I see that we have a lot going on here."

"You aren't shitting me, Kitsune," said Naru still trying to take everything in, "I didn't think that he could, or even would, do that with either of you."

"Well, Naru-san. He most certainly has," said Motoko with a smug look taking Keitaro's left arm and situating it between her large breasts.

"All three, Keitaro. I see that you were remarkably busy while Naru-chan and I were gone," quipped Mutsumi teasingly as she fully understood everything now.

At her girlfriend's statement, Naru nodded and giggled.

Then a comment came that cut right to the heart of things here, although rather crudely.

"It seems that you two are playing on the other team now," commented Kitsune with a smirk. The irony was not lost on her as she liked women too.

However, Motoko and Shinobu gave the Fox a puzzled look.

Snickering, Keitaro dropped the serious façade when Kitsune spoke up.

Suddenly, a look of realization hit the younger two. They slowly turned their heads and stared at the two women seated across from them.

"Yes, we are," replied Mutsumi as she tried not to snicker.

Once again, Naru nodded in agreement before she laughed out loud.

With her answer such as it was, both women openly declared that they were now a Yuri couple in every sense of the word.

To prove it, Mutsumi and Naru then shared a very deep French kiss in front of their friends.

In return, Kitsune, Motoko and Shinobu just stared. It took a little time for their actions to sink in, especially Naru's part in that new relationship.

"What the fuck… You two are now a lesbian couple and Keitaro has a harem. This could only happen to us," blurted Kitsune with absolutely no propriety, "and hey, I had to cut through all of this bullshit somehow. (She turned to Mutsumi) When did this all begin?"

Five sets of eyes turned to Kitsune.

"Well, I'm serious. Let's start talking like adults and stop all this 'pussy-footing' around," re-iterated Kitsune as she stood her ground.

"I can't argue with that," said Keitaro as he leaned back and relaxed.

For the next few hours and all through dinner, six people put all of their cards on the table and hashed everything out.

After everyone helped with the kitchen duty, Shinobu made some coffee and tea for everyone to share.

"Where's Kanako and Kaolla-chan?" asks Naru.

"Kanako-chan will be back in a couple of weeks," replied Keitaro, "She is with Hina Baa-chan. Kaolla-chan, is in Molmol as it seems that her Onee-san is to become the queen soon. None of us could go because of other commitments."

"Oh," replied the brunette.

Two weeks later, a certain someone was about to disturb the 'force'. (Writer's note: I just could not resist that…)

Speaking of which, as the front door slid open…

"Are you home, Onii-chan," said a voice from down in the front foyer.

Back in the present…

As the sun set, Keitaro smiled at how well everything had turned out back then. The 'shit could have really hit the fan', but he thanked the pantheon of Shinto gods that it did not. Three years have passed by since then without too many major incidents happening, but time will only reveal what it wants.

Nearby, Mutsumi and Naru shared a kiss as the sun went off into the west.

Keitaro, with Kitsune on one arm, Motoko on the other with Shinobu between his legs, was thankful that peace now reigned at the Hinata. Except for when Kaolla would try to blow something up or a fifteen-year-old Sarah would kiss or flash him with her large tits on a regular basis. (At least he was no longer the target as the 'mad scientist' kissed and flashed him too.) There was also a new teenaged boarder by the name of Maeda Ema, who sat quietly next to the Princess.

This strange and even weird little family looked ahead toward a bright future together, at least that was what they hoped.

-End of chapter-