Loveless Fan Fiction / Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Soulless ❯ Sentouki ( Chapter 3 )

Alphonse slept badly that night, racked by guilt and desire and a terrible loneliness. How many years had it been since he had voluntarily spent the night in a room without his brother in the next bed, snoring and muttering in his sleep? Al tossed and turned through the dark hours, falling asleep only to come awake again when memory stabbed at him with acid-tipped needles

I wanted to die when the doctors told me I'd lost you... Dr. Ikeda told me you were going to be all right!

Well, it wasn't all right. It was never going to be all right, not as long as he was trapped in this body, in this place, where strangers wore friends' faces and nothing made sense.

...warm apricot kisses, and the feeling of Yoko's hip, pressing against his erection in just the right way... Al groaned, tossed off his bedcovers, and slipped his hand under the waistband of his pajamas.

For a moment he hesitated--he had discovered last night, after Yoko's abrupt departure, that doing this allowed him to lose himself in pure sensation. But he'd also discovered that the distraction wore off quickly, leaving him just as unhappy as before, and unpleasantly sticky besides.

At least he wasn't hurting anyone by touching himself. It didn't require him to pretend to be someone he wasn't. It didn't require that he...lie... to Yoko.

Al sighed and squeezed his cock gently as another of Kazuo's memories surfaced.

Al wasn't sure why a girl would even want to put her mouth down there, but the thought was enough to make him harden quickly.

Spurred on by Kazuo's all-too-vivid recollection of Yoko's lips and tongue, Al arched into his fingers after only a few strokes and shuddered, his breathing reduced to harsh gasps as the fiery rush of orgasm moved through him. It felt as if the nerves in his spine and groin had become some complex array for obliterating his loneliness and confusion.

The transmutation proved to be short-lived, and he felt even emptier, sadder, and lonelier in the aftermath, just as he knew he would.

He shuffled into the bathroom and cleaned himself up, then stared dully into the mirror into eyes that were the wrong color and the face that was almost right.

It was Kazuo's face, which Al had stolen, just as he had stolen Kazuo's memories tonight to use for his own selfish, perverted purposes.

Brother, where are you? When can I go home? Al's eyes stung and his reflection grew blurry. Help me, Brother!

For a moment, he felt something stir in the back of his mind, the prickle of intuition that had always told him when Brother was in trouble or hurting. Al? Al, where are you?

Then the feeling was gone. It had probably just been his imagination, anyway.

Al leaned his forehead against the cold glass of the mirror and wept.

ooOoo

Yoko returned just after lunch, her eyes red-rimmed, as if she'd been crying, too.

"Yoko-san," Al said, getting to his feet, pathetically grateful to see her.

He put aside the newspaper that the nurse had given him, which was rapidly convincing him that the Gate had sent his soul to an entirely different world. Computers... jets... nuclear testing... the Internet... The articles and photos were filled with references to events and things utterly alien to him. He had not been able to find a single reference to alchemy, or Amestris, or the Fuehrer, or even to faraway nations such as Xing.

"Kazuo, are you feeling... better?" The sudden blaze of hope in her face made Al hunch down, as he'd sometimes done as a seven-foot-tall suit of armor, in a vain attempt to be inconspicuous. "I spoke to Dr. Ikeda about what happened yesterday." As Al's face grew hot, she amended, hastily: "Some of what happened yesterday. She wants you to stay here for another day or two, and run some more tests."

"Oh," Al said glumly.

He looked out the window at the exotic cityscape rising behind the landscaped hospital grounds, each of the buildings taller than any he'd ever seen at home, all of them covered in skins of glittering glass. He longed to get out there and explore. Since last night, the feeling that Brother was also somewhere in this world had been steadily waxing.

"How--how did you sleep last night?" Yoko asked, hesitantly.

Al blinked. "Not well," he admitted. "I kept thinking about... things. How about you?"

She stepped up to his shoulder, looking out the window with him. "I never sleep well when I'm away from you. It's part of our bond." Biting her lower lip and looking uncertain, she reached out with her left hand, entwining her fingers with his.

"How do you feel now?" Her voice sounded strained.

"Better," said Al, automatically. After a moment's reflection, he realized it was true. As soon as she touched him, the unsettled, anxious feelings that had possessed him since last night had simply dissipated. He felt calm now, even happy. Whole.

"Me, too." The smudge of grease on one cheek made her look more like Winry than ever. "I'd like to try something."

"All right," Al said, cautiously. He wasn't sure he'd have the willpower to resist if she tried seducing him again.

Yoko turned and surveyed the room. She dropped his hand, and Al curled his fingers into his palm, feeling the loss of contact.

"I order you to bring me that newspaper." She pointed at the paper he had been reading earlier.

"What?" Al found himself walking across the room, his legs moving seemingly on their own, the tattoo on his hip warm and tingling. The newspaper crinkled as he picked it up. "Yoko-san, what's going on?"

She ignored him. "Soulless," she said, in a sing-song tone. "Soulless: deaf to pleas..."

"...unaffected by sentiment." Alphonse finished, and then stared at her. Where had those words come from? "Yoko-san," he said, sharply. "What does this mean?"

Yoko looked up at him and gave him a smile of heartbreaking brilliance. "It means that you're still my Sentouki," she whispered.

ooOoo

Three days later, Alphonse was still trapped in the hospital, ready to scream with frustration.

There was so much he didn't understand about this new place, this new life. What, exactly, was a Sentouki? He knew the word meant 'Fighter,' but what, exactly, was he supposed to be fighting? Had Kazuo been a soldier-alchemist like Brother?

That would explain why Kazuo had so many memories of fighting what appeared to be alchemy duels with Yoko at his side. And yet, everyone looked at him as if he were speaking nonsense when he mentioned alchemy. The contradiction made his head hurt.

It did no good to ask Yoko. Her response to most of his questions was, "Dr. Ikeda said it would be best if you remember that on your own."

After the first day, with Yoko stubbornly repeating that response while looking increasingly trapped, Al gave up asking. He didn't want her to leave again. Her presence banished the awful, aching loneliness he had felt that first night, though it didn't lessen his longing to be reunited with his bother.

And Al did not want to sleep in this room all by himself. Perhaps that was childish of him, but he had been overjoyed when Yoko moved into his hospital room on the second day.

A cot had been set up for her and she had brought a suitcase and a backpack filled with books and notebooks. She left only to attend her classes, returning to study at Al's side while he read through piles of newspapers and magazines in an attempt to acquaint himself with his new world. From what Al could discern of her textbooks, Yoko appeared to be studying anatomy and physiology. Did she want to become a doctor?

Dr. Ikeda expressed hope was that Yoko's presence would help reverse what she termed 'traumatic amnesia,' but the truth was, Al just didn't feel right if Yoko wasn't nearby.

Even his attachment to Brother hadn't been this strong, and Al knew he should be worried about this. What was going to happen once he was released from the hospital, and started his search for his brother? He couldn't expect to drag Yoko along with him, especially if he finally convinced everyone that he really wasn't Kazuo.

Despite her near-constant attendance, Yoko didn't try to repeat what Alphonse had come to think of as The Bathroom Incident. She touched him, sure--held his hand, squeezed his shoulder, patted his back--but none of her gestures were anything but sisterly. Al wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed by this. He found himself craving whatever bits of affection she threw his way, though he cringed at the hopeful expression on her face whenever she thought he wasn't looking.

It was clear that she was waiting for Kazuo to return to his senses, and Alphonse felt like an imposter. He had tried to be honest with her, he told himself. It wasn't his fault if no one believed him! But logic didn't lessen his gnawing guilt.

By and far the most disturbing thing about his new body was its compulsion to obey Yoko. Each time she asked him to do something, he felt the mark over his hip burn, and his will to resist simply... disappeared.

All his life, Alphonse had been aware that people thought of him the soft-spoken, polite Elric brother. But he had never been meek or a pushover--after all, someone had to rein Ed in when he got out of control, and after Mother died, only Al and Izumi-sensei had that power.

If Al said no, Ed usually listened.

In return, Al tried to use his influence over his brother sparingly, preferring to rely on logic and persuasion to resolve their differences of opinion. It was only in extreme cases, when Brother tried to do something stupid, that Al put his foot down. Once or twice, he'd even had to punch Ed to make his point, but he hated being pushed to that point.

So, if Al could stand up to his brother at his worst, why couldn't he say 'no' to Yoko's requests? He began to wonder if the 'Soulless' tattoo wasn't some sort of array designed to tap his will.

ooOoo

Alphonse didn't get any answers until Ritsu-sensei returned to visit on the fourth day.

The handsome, long-haired man entered the room, carrying a manila folder and an old, leather-bound book. The book's binding was faded and scratched, but Al could still make out the gold lettering of the title: Battle of Spells: An Introductory Handbook.

Interesting, thought Al, wondering what it was about. Perhaps he had been asking the wrong questions. Maybe he should have been asking about spells rather than alchemy. It was pretty common to confuse science with magic, after all.

"Kazuo-kun!" Ritsu-sensei said as he sat down. "How are you feeling? Dr. Ikeda told me that your memories still haven't returned."

He removed his glasses to polish them, and Al saw that Ritsu was older than he first appeared, tiny lines radiating from the corners of those cold eyes and bracketing his mouth.

"I'm feeling fine, sensei," Alphonse said, politely, wondering what Kazuo's former teacher wanted. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Ritsu fiddled with his glasses some more. "I came because I'm concerned about you, young man. Yoko-chan came to see me a few days ago--quite distraught, I may add--and wondered whether it was possible for you to serve as her Sentouki while suffering from amnesia."

"I'm not amnesiac. I'm just not Kaz--" Al began. He felt Yoko come to stand beside him and he glanced down at her. She looked very tense, so he bit off the rest of what he was going to say.

Ritsu-sensei didn't miss a beat. "Kazuo-kun, while I believe that you believe that you are not longer Katashiki Kazuo, I assure you that it's simply a result of your injuries."

Al set his jaw stubbornly. He didn't want to engage in a debate with this man, not with Yoko here. What did it matter, anyway?

"Now, while I'm sympathetic to the fact that you nearly died last week, you have to realize that you're upsetting the people around you--people who care a great deal about you--with your insistence on something that can't possibly be true."

"Hm," Al said, as neutrally as he could. Polite but uncooperative was probably going to be the best way to rid himself of this visitor.

Undeterred, Ritsu handed Al the manila folder. "Here--I've brought copies of your birth certificate, your report cards, letter of admission to the university, university ID card, as well as some other relevant documents. There's also a newspaper clipping with photos of a championship match when you played for the Seven Moons tennis team. You'll recognize yourself in the top row, third from the right."

Al flipped through the paperwork as Ritsu-sensei continued talking, his soothing, logical explanations beginning to wind their way into Al's brain.

Ah, so Kazuo's parents had died in a plane crash two years ago, he mused as he read one of the browning clippings. I was wondering why no one had come to visit. He flipped through other papers, and paused at a wedding announcement, dated six months after the crash. He barely recognized Yoko as his bride under her layers of heavy white makeup, an elaborate wig, and a strange, many-layered robe with long, trailing sleeves and a wide sash.

Al found himself wanting to believe Ritsu-sensei. After all, here was proof, undeniable proof, that Katashiki Kazuo had existed.

What proof did Al have that he was actually an alchemist, that he had spent three years traveling around Amestris with his older brother in a quest for the Philosopher's Stone, that he spent those years bodiless, his soul affixed to an empty suit of armor? It was improbable, he admitted, especially given what he knew of this world.

It was tempting, and easier, to believe that he was really Katashiki Kazuo, university student and Sentouki, and that he was suffering from a delusion induced by a closed-head injury.

Except...except...

A little desperately, Alphonse grabbed the water glass from his bedside and put it on the floor. Would alchemy work in this world? Well, he wouldn't know unless he tried...

Knowledge flooded him, an array floating clear and precise in his mind's eye, and he realized that he wouldn't need a pen or chalk for this. Instead, he reached inside of himself for the energies that would activate the array, and clapped his hands to complete the transmutation circle... just like he'd seen Brother do a hundred times before.

There was a blinding blue-white flash, the crackle of the glass being transmuted, and then it was finished.

Yoko gasped. "What did you do?"

Al bent, picked up a tiny, perfect blown-glass bird, wings outspread as if caught at moment of launching itself into flight, and held it out to Kazuo's teacher.

"Despite what all of you want to believe, my name really is Alphonse Elric," he said, triumphantly. "And I'm an alchemist. I don't know how I came to be here, in this body, but I'm not Kazuo, sorry."

Ritsu-sensei gaped for a long moment, then his expression changed to something that Al recognized: a scientist's fascinated excitement. How many times had Al seen Brother with that look on his face?

"Very impressive." Then the teacher looked at Yoko, and Al saw calculation flash across his face. "Kazuo-kun--or Alphonse-kun, if you prefer--I came here to suggest that you and Yoko-chan return to Seven Moons for a refresher course in basic combat spells. I acknowledge that you seem to have gained some new abilities, but I will argue that you should at least be willing to see if a training regime and familiar surroundings will help you heal fully."

"Look," Al began. What would it take for someone to finally believe him? "I already told you--"

Yoko clutched his arm. "Please, Kazuo. Let's do it. What can it hurt?"

Al discovered it was even harder to refuse her when she wasn't giving him an order.

"Whether you are truly Kazuo-kun or Alphonse-kun, surely my offer holds some merit?" Ritsu said, smoothly. He was looking at Alphonse... greedily. There was no other word for it. "If you're Kazuo, this might be a chance to rediscover yourself. If you're really Alphonse, then I'm offering you a roof over your head, a stipend as a Sentouki, and an opportunity to learn something that might complement your very impressive alchemy."

Al stifled his immediate refusal, and thought hard. He had no money, and connections in this world, other than what wearing Kazuo's body brought him. He could channel Brother and tell this manipulative man to fuck off, but what would it get him?

Besides, wouldn't a school have access to that Internet thing? Al asked himself. From what he had read in the newspapers, it seemed like he might be able to use this Internet to search for news of Brother.

On the other hand, it sounded like he'd be confined to the school grounds, and he wanted the freedom to pursue leads. What if a Sentouki was the equivalent of a slave in this world? There was so much he still didn't know...

"It's a generous offer, but I'm not sure," he said, hesitantly, trying to buy some time to figure out the best course of action.

Ritsu-sensei seemed to be able to zero in on any sign of weakness, just like Colonel Mustang. "Truth is, Kazuo-kun, we need you. Your class produced two of the strongest Sentouki that Seven Moons has ever seen, of which you were one. You'd be very difficult, no, impossible to replace."

"Who was the other one? The other Sentouki?" Al asked.

To his surprise, he actually got an answer. "Agatsuma Soubi." There was an odd expression--regret, perhaps, but certainly sadness--when Ritsu-sensei spoke that name. "Soubi-kun took a path that led him away from us, but we would like to salvage your talents for the Seven Moons cause, if possible. You did say, a few days ago, that you had some of Kazuo's memories, yes?"

Yoko's hand tightened around Al's bicep, but she didn't speak. She didn't need to. He could feel her silent pleading through the pressure of her fingertips against his skin.

"You have nothing to lose, Kazuo-kun, Yoko-chan." Ritsu-sensei leaned forward. "We will file the paperwork requesting a leave-of-absence for medical reasons from the university for both of you, so you won't lose your places there when--if--you choose to return to your studies. We will pay your expenses for moving and storing your furniture and belongings. You'll be assigned one of the upperclassmen's suites in the academy's dormitories; probably the best arrangement for a married couple."

"Separate bedrooms, please, Sensei," Yoko said, firmly.

Ritsu-sensei raised his eyebrows. "Are you certain?"

"Yes," Al answered, in unison with Yoko.

"Very well," Ritsu said. "At least two of the suites have adjoining bedrooms and a common sitting area--I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you, Sensei," Yoko murmured, and Al had the sudden feeling that the deal was close to being sealed, without his consent.

And yet, when he weighed the pros and cons... I can always find a way to leave if I don't like it.

"I'll agree to come to your academy, under two further conditions," Al said. "First of all, I want access to the Internet. Secondly, before I go anywhere, I want you to answer some questions."

Those cold eyes studied Al for a moment. Al stared back, defiantly, until Ritsu-sensei leaned back, crossing his long legs. "Very well," he said. "The academy has computers with Internet access in the library. They're available to all of our students. There's also wireless access in the dormitories. You own a laptop, I believe."

Al blinked at the unfamiliar terms, and Ritsu chuckled. "Yoko-chan can help you with that. Now, what did you want to know?"

"Sentouki... Sacrifice... this strange tattoo on my hip. What does it all mean?"

"Ah, that's a little complicated," Ritsu said, steepling his fingers under his chin.

When Al scowled, he added hastily: "But I'll try to give you the basic facts. You and Yoko-chan were born with certain... gifts, and you work as a team. You are both trained to engage in a combat of magic against opponents. As the Sentouki, you create and deliver the fighting spells. Yoko-chan, as your Sacrifice, directs the course of the fight and takes any damage caused by your opponents, so that you can continue fighting. You are both bound together by your shared name--Soulless--and that name appears on both of your bodies as proof of your ties."

Al glanced at Yoko. Solemnly, she scooted far enough from his side to pull down the waist of her pants, revealing a mark identical to Al's on her left hip.

Ritsu-sensei continued: "As the Sentouki, you are compelled to obey your Sacrifice's orders. There can be no room for hesitation or debate in a battle of spells." Ritsu gave one of his charming, hollow smiles. "I know it sounds confusing, but we'll teach you all about it if you choose to return to the academy."

"Okay," said Al, not sure if all this new information actually meant that he understood any more than he had before. "One more question: who are we fighting, and why?"

The smile vanished from Ritsu's face, and Al saw Yoko stiffen. After a long moment, Ritsu said, "I believe it's for the best if you can remember the answer to that on your own, Kazuo-kun."

Something about Ritsu's expression made Alphonse wonder what was really going on here. He opened his mouth to ask another question, but Ritsu forestalled him.

Standing up, he handed Al the leather-bound book. "Here's a bit of a refresher to answer other questions I'm sure you'll have. We'll send someone from Seven Moons to pick you up in a couple of hours--with Dr. Ikeda's permission, of course."