Loveless Fan Fiction ❯ Fearless ❯ You're Blind to the Fact that My Heart Stopped Beating ( Chapter 6 )

You're Blind to the Fact that My Heart Stopped Beating

 

Since he was ten years old, life as Ritsuka knew it changed drastically. Never regaining his full memory, he only had snippets of the life before Seimei's “death”. From what he gathered from his shell of a father and barmy mother was that he must have been a happy child. Once in his eleventh year he found a cardboard box in the attic while hiding, and inside he found many things to clue him in on how different he was from the old Ritsuka. Drawings, stories, poems, and little bits of artwork were all strewn about in the box. Treasures for a doting mother to keep forever; creations of a dreamer boy he didn't know. Some things dated not over a year old and yet he didn't remember them. The handwriting wasn't even similar to his then large and clunky scrawl. Is this what he was?

 

He was sorry to cause his mom such distress, but if she wanted some breezy, little fantasist she would always be waiting forever disappointed. Sense and reason, philosophy and truth—that was his passion. The fire within him wasn't lacking imagination, but those bits of paper and plaster hand prints would be better used if put inside a small box and buried because that boy was dead; just as departed as the sunny, brave, and wholly gallant young man that was his older brother. Man, it sucked to be his parents.

 

The dead kid had been quite the popular little sprite. Or so he gathered. He was no longer at his old school, and never wanted to set foot in the building again, so he was unable to interrogate his former friends. Sneaking a peek at his file from therapy once, he read that his old self had many friends and admirers. This was unbelievable. How could someone like him, so cold and distant, have collected people that could be called “admirers”? It's not that he meant to push others away. It was quite natural for him to keep quiet and rather observe human life and not partake. So others kept away from the unsmiling, unflinching, violet-eyed boy. Of course this was something his mother found most disturbing. More so than him eating a dish deemed “not his favorite”, and that was what got him his cuts and bruises most often. Forgive him if it wasn't the expected thing to do, but having his brother murdered and then his mother start going cracked on him tended to draw him away from people. Only the bubbly girl, Yuiko, persisted her mission of trying to pull him to the land of the living.

 

And then Soubi came and rocked his world. The college man caught him at a bad time. Not only was he a twelve-year-old recluse, but he also had the budding sex-drive of a buttered pecan. Times the fact that the older boy obviously lost his virginity to his brother by ten and maybe then one would get an inkling of just how freaked out he was by the whole situation. Then the battles started. There is nothing sexier than coming face to face with a very gruesome demise and escaping it time and time again because of your older “protector”, and the kisses he would steal from you at the very last moment before death engulfed you. Never had he thought about his love life or preferences in gender, but stay around a man like Soubi and it was easy to succumb to his advances. He wasn't stupid, although it seemed everyone else thought so. Soubi couldn't get him to fully fall under his spell, but what he would keep to himself for as long as he could was that he did feel love for him, just not the mindless kind Soubi felt for Seimei. Maybe it was because he was thrown away and unloved and Soubi lost what was precious to him that he felt a connection. However, it wasn't enough, and the older boy could not break through the ice around his heart and soul.

 

Things change and Ritsuka couldn't stop marveling at it all. Years ago he didn't have and didn't want any friends, felt no emotion except pain and fear, hated any type of intimacy, and was appalled by his traitorous body when he liked the feel of lips against his or arms wrapping around his fragile form. Today he was out with friends he absolutely adored at the café they always went to so they could load up on caffeine and sugar before going separate ways to enjoy the darkly beautiful autumn day. And now? Ritsuka smiled and squirmed into a better position. Now he was in the backseat of a warm car, spending the rest of the late afternoon with his boyfriend, whom was currently sandwiched underneath him against the soft leather seat. To hell with his Ice King title! Ryu moaned as Ritsuka pressed him farther into the cushion, smashing his mouth against his abused lips. His hand lifted to a pure black ear and massaged the sensitive base, causing the younger boy to purr deep from his throat.

 

Two tails twitched and moved until the ends looped together as the boys clung to one another. So much power! Ryu silently mused. His heart hammered at the sensations inside and around them. Ritsuka made a little growl and moved to the sweet, all-too-edible flesh his neck. The petting hand fell away and hematite eyes shot open as a loud cry escaped glistening lips when a hot mouth latched onto his artery behind his ear. Arms tightened around the frenzied mass above him when the little imp rocked his hips forward. Ryu moaned and saw through the lusty haze that the air was thick with a noticeable, shimmering fog. Magic was an incredible thing. Energy was humming all around them and he swallowed as the static intensified. If they didn't stop, more than one thing was going to erupt! Panting to the point of passing out, Ryu grabbed the shifting hipbones to still them. Clouded, plum pools lifted in question. The older boy laughed and hugged the tender frame to him.

 

“Ritsuka, you're killing me,” The barely winded kid laughed against his heaving chest.

 

“Sorry.” Ritsuka kissed the angry bruise he created. “What can I say? It's repressed urges unleashed.” Ryu chuckled and slid his hands into Ritsuka's, the moment being too fine. “Do you think we'll have to fight soon?” The voice was muffled but understandable. For the past week and a half they could feel battles being fought all around them. Beloved was getting closer.

 

“Yes.” There was no hesitation in Ryu's words. Ritsuka had yet to test his power in a real battle but he knew he was as ready as he could be. “You'll be great. They can't stop us.” Graceful fingers ran through black hair and the smaller boy relaxed on contact.

 

Since their first encounter, Ryu took Ritsuka to the Fourth Phoenix for training five times. Mitori, who found his conversations just as delightful as his former pupil's, answered most of Ritsuka's questions. Sometimes he and Mariko, his Sacrifice, would engage in practice battles and Ritsuka felt better knowing what to expect. But it wouldn't be Mitori he would end up facing off with. There was no trace of Soubi since that last horrible encounter all those weeks ago, and he didn't know if he could intentionally hurt him. The funny thing is, Seimei never factored into this problem.

 

Mitori comforted him the best he could, but this wasn't something that would ever sit well with him. He had a feeling Ryu guessed his emotions regarding the older Fighter and Ritsuka was grateful the auburn cat never said anything negative about it. Only soothing words and actions were what his Equal always gave. Spout on and on about them only connecting with each other all they want, Ryu knew he was bound to Soubi in some way much like Ritsuka knew Ryu had been involved with his sensei before he found him. This didn't make him angry and he didn't think Ryu was all that upset about him and Soubi. Their connection couldn't be broken by something so paltry as jealousy. The younger kitten sighed - he just wanted this finished!

 

“Hey, dumpling?” Ryu drawled out when he realized it was getting late and they had been lying around a few hours in silence, listening to his repetitively playing Gackt CD.

 

“What?” A laugh escaped but tried to sound as annoyed as possible. Dumpling. “Moron.” He mumbled his own pet name.

 

“Let's go out tonight. To a club.” He was beaming when Ritsuka raised his head to give him a questioning look. “Come on. It'll be fun, I promise.”

 

“I don't do clubbing.” Ritsuka deadpanned.

 

“Come oooon, Ritsuka! Don't you want to party on our Saturday night? You can flaunt me all over town, `cause I am one hot mother. And everyone will be so jealous of you.” Elegant brows wriggled once at the suggestion.

 

“I don't do partying, least of all flaunting at said party.” Again that bored, flat voice he spent years perfecting, accompanied by a mild frown.

 

Ryu rolled his eyes. “What's the deal? Do all guys with violet eyes share the same intense, humorless personality?”

 

“Do all gay neko-boys have Gackt mixes?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Ryu! I don't wanna gooooo!!” Finally Ritsuka was acting his age instead that of a constipated, eighty-year-old lady. He buried his face into the hard stomach below and Ryu laughed when he felt him bite his t-shirt protected skin. The sleek, jet-black tail twitched playfully, giving him away entirely.

 

Ryu pulled him up to plant a disarming kiss on soft lips. “Thanks, snuggle-puppy. I'll drop you off and go home to change and come right back.” Ritsuka grumbled a few choice obscenities as he struggled back up to the front seat with the other following close behind. “And wear something sexy, damn it. You may not want to showcase your delectable sex slave, but I do.” Finishing with a tug on the swishing tail before him, it earned him a shocked hiss and slap to the side of the head. All done with endless amounts love—of course.

 

 

 

 

Youth is a funny thing. Bad things happen in this world constantly. People die, others kill countless innocents, wars are fought for things that do not belong to the attacking power, love is lost, and purity is defiled. Yet there is still beauty. A drop of what youth has and a desert becomes an Eden. To know death, to face it but still come out with heads held high, eyes and smiles shining, that is a young one's blessing. The heavy beat of music pulsed inside everyone's veins while a rainbow of electric light shot around the otherwise dark room. Sweat heavy in the air, laughter, stolen kisses, and hungry passion made up this world. Here was love. This was a haven where the outside monsters couldn't hurt the breakable and stunning children that hid here to escape, even for a night, the horrors and pressures of the day.

 

Bodies rubbed together and thrummed to the throbbing music. Man-made fog floated over heads, and slight hands reached up to sway and disrupt the swirling air. A change in beat and the thumpa-thumpa was replaced with a slow, sensuous tune that begged the children to grab a partner and glide to the song. Energized, candy-coated kids smiled and danced their cares away while jaded adults stayed in their own world. They did not belong here, nor were they invited to the festivities. Frosted eyes fixed upon and sparkling lips grinned as the throng moved back in an appreciative crowd. All the children were beautiful in their own special ways, but these two were different, and everyone seemed to agree the pair needed a moment of admiration.

 

Again the music changed. It was a foreign song and some voices cheered and others swooned when the taller boy started to move his lips, word for word. His glittery, black jeans rode so low on sculpted hips that it seemed any second they would fall completely off as he slowly gyrated to the pulsing beat. Tanned skin seemed a dark blue as the black light fixed on them from above. Strong arms pulled his dance partner tight against a broad chest to hold his back to him as he danced into him from behind. The sleeves of his black and silver threaded shirt were pulled to his elbows, showing off the muscular and chorded arms that moved all over the younger kitty-cat. A smile was hidden from the audience behind a curtain of auburn hair, but they could see the black-haired youth throw his head back against a large shoulder and laugh as playful fingers tickled his exposed stomach.

 

Hands were mapping everything they passed. The little one pressed closer and smiled as his control was taken from him. All he had to do was enjoy the song. Lips grazed his feverish cheek for a second before disappearing and his eyes closed when the hand not busy with his stomach slid into the front pocket of his tight, flared jeans. A pale hand fell to grip the side of the older boy's leg and a puffy, reddish brown tail swung around to loop his wrist on reflex. Violet eyes opened and a cute frown painted his flushed lips when they saw he was the subject of scrutiny by a hundred hungry eyes. When Ritsuka turned in the embrace and cupped the face centimeters in front of his to say something through his smile, icy blue eyes tore away from the sight. He saw enough and wished to not be there anymore, but his Master hadn't spotted the pair yet and obviously he was going to stay a little longer.

 

So different. Even from this distance he could see all the great changes that had taken place in his absence. Where was the childish, scared little boy? In just a little over a month he seemed to have disappeared and in his place was this young man. It took some strength to cover up the shudder running through his body, but he was a seasoned veteran at controlling himself and he would not disappoint his Master. Kohl traced eyes tracked the boys and he noticed with dark surprise that Ritsuka was the one leading away from the floor, taking control and showing initiative. Lissom fingers tangled with the others and pulled the taller kid along until they were sliding into gun metal chairs at one of the many glass tables in the club. Could Ritsuka really be that happy?

 

A piercing, hot emotion screamed into his brain for the briefest moment but he reacted just the same. Instantly his attention was on the man beside him and he cringed inside. The look flashing in those chilling, violet eyes was enough to tell him his Master finally noticed what only took him a millisecond to sense. Cruel yet loving fingers slid the ebony hair sticks causing the blonde, wild mess to cascade about his slender face. Lips crushed onto soft flesh and again his breath was stolen, hindering him from reacting quickly to his Master's whims.

 

“Come along, Soubi. Let's go say hello.” Seimei let go of him and smirked when Soubi almost stumbled at the loss of support.

 

The older one saw them first. A flash of recognition fluttered across his face before he was once again pleasantly passive, and Soubi again had to hide his surprise. Ritsuka noticed the slight change in his date's features and looked up. Complete horror filled his eyes and he even tried to stand in his panic, but the boy beside him slid his arm around him and pulled him against his side, chair and all. The music and the loudness of the place unbalanced the Fighter's senses but there was no denying what the other kid was once they were at the table. A sidelong glance to his Master told him that he already knew this was Loveless. Soubi couldn't help the tiny bit of anger rise. It would have been nice to let him in on this little plan that his Master seemed to have.

 

The contact helped ground him but Ritsuka was still terrified. What were they doing here? Had Seimei been following them? Did he want to fight? Dread washed over him when he brought his eyes to his older brother's. Why did Beloved hate him so? He felt the need to say something, apologize for whatever upset the man whenever he looked like that. Ritsuka opened his mouth to say anything he could to appease the Sacrifice when familiar, silky fingers caressed his cheek and turned haunted, purple hues on the only one capable of stilling such anxiety. Seimei seethed at the action, his anger strengthening when the boy beside his brother kissed his cheek softly and whispered, instantly destroying all ill emotions within the small boy. There was even a light giggle from Ritsuka, who leaned into the lips grazing his ear.

 

Innocent, black doe eyes lifted in silent amusement at Seimei, making no other move to welcome them at their table. “Ritsuka, it seems we're on a double date,” Ryu supplied to the waiting silence between them and let Ritsuka fall gently, now unafraid, back into his seat.

 

“You're slave's behavior is appalling, Tsuka-chan. He lacks the proper respect he should have for his master.”

 

And those who are of higher rank, Ryu knew he added silently and only continued giving him a delicious smile as the man sat down without waiting for his brother to extend an invitation. “A good Master needs not to worry about the pettiness of titles,” His voice was serious and his smile dazzling as he leveled his gaze on the silent Soubi. “If he is good, loyalty is duly given by the one who is serving.” He finished, not denying or confirming he was in fact Ritsuka's slave.

 

“You speak again out of turn. You're impertinent.” Seimei's voice was steady, low, and laced with acid.

 

Another sugar-bright smile and onyx eyes were boring back into his. “I'm Ryu.” Was all he gave as explanation and held his hand out over the table for Seimei to shake suspiciously.

 

Seimei hated this kid. The confidence, his looks, his power—everything about this Ryu irked him and he willed himself to not scream at his slave to kill the idiot right now. Iron control was what he needed and was proud for staying so pleasant. How dare the boy act so cocky! Who was he but a fledgling Fighter, not even with a real battle under his belt? Beloved had fought countless other teams, none could get them to surrender or die, and they wouldn't be stopped by his brat brother and boy toy! Fists tightened under the table and crammed into his thighs to control burning rage as Loveless tried to make everything small talk between the two teams when he was here for a reason. Though he knew their battle was still some time off, Seimei couldn't resist seeking them out after hearing about them and then finally seeing them out and about a week ago.

 

Finally on the breaking point of his sanity, Seimei stood and gestured for Ritsuka to follow. “I'm thirsty, and I see your drinks are empty. Come with me to the bar, little brother.” He glared at Ryu who only shrugged his way and then turned his attention on Soubi. “Stay.” A twitch to his mouth occurred when the man readily obeyed.

 

“Yes, Master.” It came without real thought anymore.

 

Not once had Ritsuka looked at Soubi. The artist's heart pinched and convulsed while they sat together, the little kitten never glancing his way. It hurt more than it should have but Soubi couldn't help it. Things were made worse when Ritsuka was so at ease with the boy beside him, touching and being touched so naturally and he couldn't voice his shock and anguish because Seimei would be furious. His Master didn't understand the torment of all this. Maybe he does, Soubi thought with a bitter smile as he watched Seimei lead the boy away from sight to get another glass of cherry coke. Against better judgment, he looked back to the only other person left and his stomach flip-flopped. Ryu was studying him closely and licking a red, heart-shaped sucker from God only knew where. Fluffy ears twitched in curiosity and Soubi was enticed to look back with a stare to match.

 

A pink-stained smile spread across the younger one's lips. “It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Agatsuma-san.” Ryu said after a thoughtful lick and bowed from his position at the table. The Fighter was a tad taken aback by that, but defensive guards remained up.

 

“Just Soubi will do. I lack such a position to be addressed in that manner, Loveless.” Another beaming smile and Soubi rose an eyebrow, wondering what in his answer could have pleased the boy so much.

 

 

 

Back at the bar, things weren't going as smoothly. Seimei was being cold yet polite and was just finished with ordering a harder drink when Ritsuka turned, eyes alight with a strength the man never saw in them before. Well, perhaps this will prove more entertaining than I first thought. Seimei smiled and sipped from the glass.

 

“Why are you here, Seimei?” Much to Beloved's disappointment there was hardly any fear in his voice or eyes. What was more shocking was that he was scared not of him but for him.

 

“Do you think I want to fight tonight, Tsuka-chan?” Asking playfully, hints of danger in his voice.

 

“Why else would you seek us out?”

 

“Can't I just want to see my baby brother and his newly bestowed pet?”

 

“You know very well he is not my pet.” Ritsuka spat the word out in disgust.

 

Seimei laughed at his reaction. “For Ryu being so calm and annoyingly cool, you still have that temper of yours.” He inched closer, no one was backing down. Ritsuka was unsure of where this hostility was coming from, on both their sides, but he didn't care and felt himself bristle at the invasion of personal space.

 

 

 

Pained yet calm blue puddles gauged the face across the table. Only kindness, polite smiles, and truthful answers were what he was getting from Loveless. His fingers twitched and lungs itched for a cigarette, but unfortunately his smoking days were over since Seimei was adamant for him to stop. Seimei obviously knew they would be here and he knew this boy was Ritsuka's. Soubi was growing antsy at his Beloved's absence. Fear for his Sacrifice bubbled inside. These two were no ordinary team. He warned Seimei even though he didn't have to, yet the Sacrifice wouldn't believe they could beat them. Why is he so proud? This had been a thought tearing at Soubi's mind for over four years. The powerful boy broke his thought train when he leaned forward and spoke over the again blaring music.

 

“You're not here for a fight, and you can't possibly be on a date here. So tell me why you seek me and mine out tonight?”

 

“I believe Beloved wants to size the both of you up,” Soubi brought his gaze to Ryu and again silently marveled at the strange black eyes looking back. “Feel the two of you out, see what power you have, and most likely aggravate his little brother.” He smiled a sad smile and Ryu felt a tinge of pity before digging into his back pocket and throwing another sucker in front of Soubi's spot on the table.

 

“And are you gaining anything from this, Beloved?” Ryu asked, nibbling on one of the hard humps of the shrinking candy. Soubi raised one pale eyebrow at the tone and slightly devious look, but before he could question further, Ryu's head lifted toward the bar. “Are you sure you didn't come to start something?” For the first time this evening, Loveless looked to the older man with a small amount of distrust.

 

 

 

This new Ritsuka was pissing him off! So sure of himself, so polite, and so pleasant, unless he talked even in a slightly negative tone about his stupid Fighter—it made him sick! Loveless were nothing but freaks! How could they be so confident?

 

“I guess it was nice seeing you but I think I'd rather leave now. I hope you and Soubi have a fun night.” Ritsuka finally showed some more of his exasperation at talking in defensive circles with Seimei and just wanted to go. Beloved was being a brat and he couldn't tolerate another remark about Ryu if forced to stay another second.

 

“I may not want to fight tonight, but that doesn't mean you can walk away from me, Ritsuka-chan.” Seimei put his drink down on the counter and grabbed Loveless hard by the arm and pulled him back around to face him. “We have things to discuss. I have questions.”

 

Ritsuka winced but didn't say anything about the treatment he was being dealt. Seimei was close to ringing his puny neck for being so damn stoic when he noticed the familiar tingle of his Fighter being quite near and also another presence quickly approaching. He let go just as long, graceful fingers took Ritsuka's drink from his clenched hand. Seimei glared as Ryu brought the glass to glittering lips while hooking an arm around Ritsuka's waist. Anger flowed through his veins wanting blood spilled, but then strong, lanky arms wrapped around him in a familiar embrace and Seimei smirked at Soubi's daring but effective antics.

 

Ryu quirked his eyebrows up and smiled as he swallowed his drink when he saw Soubi work his own anger-management, with a sucker stick hanging out the side of his mouth. “I think that's good for tonight.” Ryu's voice was once again light and cheery. “It was a pleasure meeting you both, officially. Ritsuka and I will be off now. You two have fun.” When Ryu dragged Ritsuka out of the club, cold air slapped his face. Only when the older boy cupped his face and kissed his true agitation away did the loud roaring in his brain finally disappear.

 

Blood pumped hard through his heart. His face burned and palms sweat with the fear and anticipation of what just could have happened. Ritsuka could not calm down and didn't want to. This feeling was euphoric and if he came down, he was sure fits of shaking would ensue.

 

“It's just your body's way of preparing for battle.” Ryu told him, watching the road while driving the dark highway. “And since all that adrenaline wasn't burnt up in a fight, it is going to leave very slowly. It's normal, don't worry.”

 

“Ryu, don't take me home yet.” Ritsuka squirmed in the slick leather seat against the constricting belt. “I'll be jumping off the walls if I have to go back right now.” Ryu only nodded and continued the quiet drive.

 

Only when the car stopped in the paved driveway did Ritsuka think about their destination.

 

“Where are we?” He peered out the window at the dark estate with big eyes.

 

“My house.” Ryu gave him a grin before stepping out of the car with Ritsuka following quickly behind.

 

Ritsuka's mouth opened in awe as he looked around. Even in the dark the place was magnificent. The lawn was huge with fountains strewn about and in the not too far distance he could hear the sound of waves crashing. He vaguely remembered they past the glittering ocean on the curvy roads while driving but he was still too out of it to comment or care. Walking around to the back of the house, Ryu signaled for him to be quiet as he opened the back door and held his hand as they silently made their way up the wooden staircase and down a lonely hall until the older boy pulled him inside a dark room.

 

“Mom and Dad sleep like death but you can't be too cautious.” Ryu flicked on the light beside his closed door.

 

Ritsuka only nodded and took his coat off, looking about the new surroundings. This was the first time he had been to his Equal's house, never mind his bedroom. Moving boxes were still visible among his things, but they were shoved aside and out of the way. The room was big and dark even with the light on. Traditional Japanese met Modern Teen in an ordered jumble and Ritsuka smiled at the posters of rock groups native and foreign, scenes of nature, art, and even some photos of him and Ryu was tacked up in random blank spots on tastefully painted walls. His hand trailed atop the pile of books and papers on the desk to rest on cold, gold-framed glasses. Ritsuka picked them up and ran the pads of his thumbs over shining earpieces with careful adoration. So, this is his life when he's not with me. An impossible ache pulsed through him at the notion and he became angry for having such a silly response.

 

Ryu watched with a small smile as Loveless explored and puttered about among all the random objects. They always met at the other boy's house or at his school and never came here. It was important, although neither of them wanted to seem so disgustingly sentimental. His tail twitched with growing excitement as Ritsuka touched his things and looked about, memorizing every corner of the room, making this place his. Pulling himself out of dangerous ideas, Ryu turned away and stooped to rummage through his little refrigerator to grab them something to drink. Thoughts of waning supplies and mental shopping lists vanished when he stood and found his boyfriend inches from his face as he turned around.

 

“Stealthy little kitten, aren't you?” There was a flicker in those royal purple eyes and Ryu swore he felt his skin ignite.

 

“I love you.” Ritsuka stated. Black eyes widened at the profession and the mouth that hung open was swallowed in a kiss.

 

Darkness overcame Ryu as he was pulled forward and against Ritsuka. It was a total shut down of emotions until they all burst back inside, causing him to almost convulse at the shudders slamming down his spine. His hands flew up to wrap around his Equal to steady himself because he thought for sure he was going to collapse. Ritsuka just told him he loved him. Ryu had yet to say the words the smaller boy seemed to dread and to hear him say it first was a shock to the system. The declaration melted their bonds so much closer it hurt. A groan escaped into Ritsuka's mouth as Ryu felt his hip being pushed hard against the desk. Ramune forgotten, steps were taken forward and the younger could only oblige and move back as he sucked Ryu's very soul out. They clung to each other as they moved, and when they finally pulled their lips apart and Ritsuka could force his eyes to open, he knew exactly where they wandered. His flush deepened but he remained staring into the clouded, molten eyes before him. It was clear what was going to happen next and not an ounce of fear could be felt.

 

The feeling of falling farther than normal when lying on a bed was strange to Ritsuka. He hadn't seriously slept on a mat in years. Comfort was a worry but a sigh flew from him when he felt his body surrounded by countless pillows and silky comforters. Seems Ryu-chan doesn't care for mats either. Ritsuka thought and smiled as Ryu loomed over him before capturing his mouth once again. Strong hands held him down as the lips moved and his face was nudged to the side so they could sample the tasty skin of his neck. Not hearing a word from the older boy since the profession, Ritsuka held Ryu closer.

 

“Ryu, tell me.” Ritsuka purred and threw his head back at the teeth nipping at his throat. “Say it.” His hands found the soft auburn hair above him and let the strands fall through shaking fingers.

 

Ryu stopped and rose to straddle relaxed thighs, leaning over with his palms down on each side of his head. “I love you.” He smiled and pecked him on a heated cheek. A smirk came to his handsome face when he heard his angel's breath hitch when he pressed himself harder against him. “I want you to take my ears and tail, Ritsuka.” Smaller hips rose slowly to meet his and he smiled when cool hands grabbed him by the neck and pulled him back down.

 

Hushed laughter and sounds of kisses echoed in the room. As pale and sure hands slid the warming buttons out of place and spread the shirt wide to feel for the first time, a prayer was mentally chanted that Ryu's parents didn't suddenly have the urge to see their son. The skin beneath his palms was hot and vibrating with so much life that Ritsuka couldn't help but to pull the body in his arms tighter. His heart was exploding with emotions never felt—never could have felt—before and all Ryu could do was try and keep up with the demand. The young boy released his Equal's mouth with a harsh smack and latched onto his neck, shoulders, and chest with eager hands and lips. A flex of muscle and the shirt was slipping off onto the bed, and if Ritsuka had any more control over the situation, more was soon to follow.

 

Ryu pushed and fell on top of his boyfriend, hips between accepting thighs that locked around him in an instant. Ritsuka moaned and writhed against him, pleading with every one of his movements to touch and enjoy him just as much as he was. How could he refuse him? The smaller neko pressed into the older boy's touch as he ran his hand from naval to chest, grabbing the t-shirt along the way until it was bunched up underneath his chin. A stifled cry flew from Ritsuka when warm, wet lips fell on his exposed skin. The worshipping mouth took no time hesitating to lower onto the many bits of raised flesh scattering atop the beautiful skin. Tears welled at the contact. This was something he hadn't planned on. Of course he knew his clothes would be coming off sometime in the very near future but, like always when he was with Ryu, the ugly marks on his body were forgotten and now it was too late to back out and run for cover. Ryu felt the muscles underneath his lips quake and when he heard the choked sob, instantly he was up and kissing the tears away. His hand gripped Ritsuka's tightly as kisses were run along his temple and jaw.

 

“There's no need for this.” He whispered into the black ear brushing against his mouth. Placing Ritsuka's hand with his own on his stomach, directly on top of one of the deeper scars, he continued, “It adds to your strength, Ritsuka; your power…your fantastic beauty.” When Ritsuka turned to him, his breath caught. Sometimes he made him want to die with all he invoked in him with just a look.

 

The wind was knocked out of him when the black cat lunged. They fell back with Ritsuka on top of him and he laughed as his rejuvenated loved one began nipping and sucking at every inch of flesh within reach. Damn you for saying all the right things! Ritsuka snarled mentally. These were feelings he wasn't supposed to feel! For so long the only way to survive was to be frigid. Too many things could hurt. Too many things did hurt. Yet now there was someone for him. No more loneliness. He'd kill before anyone took it away. A loud hiss brought him back and he realized with a small blush that he had become very bold, nibbling on Ryu's soon-to-be-extinct ear and his hand was shoving itself underneath zipped pants. Suddenly hands were stilling him and rolling him off the other body.

 

“Don't go anywhere too far.” Ryu panted and stood. “I got to get a few things we'll be needing in a minute.” The wink from him almost sent Ritsuka into a blind frenzy but he willed himself to stay in control.

 

Lying naked, under one flimsy sheet, Ritsuka became bombarded with a million thoughts. The strange thing about these last few moments was that he wasn't afraid in the slightest. No regrets, no second thoughts - he was ready for whatever would happen. Once, when he was fourteen, he Googled information on sexual tips between two men, so he wasn't ignorant to what his body was about to go through. Just in case something ever did happen beyond kissing with Soubi. Soubi. The name rolled off his mental tongue and he burrowed deeper into the sheets. Seeing him again after all this time pained him like nothing else. It was all he could do to not climb over the table and hug the man unconscious. Or something else. Seimei obviously harbored harsh feelings toward having to share for so long but Ritsuka didn't care anymore. He missed Soubi and if things were different, Loveless wouldn't have minded at all giving him his ears and tail. Before those thoughts could be entertained further, soft footsteps ended all musing.

 

On reflex he propped himself on his elbows but other than that was frozen. Ryu was practically swaggering toward the bed. The boy was wearing nothing and Ritsuka almost had to shake his head to clear it. Almost. He could have cheered he was so proud of himself for not starting to drool or worse. Blushing couldn't be help. In a few more minutes they were going to be as close as they could possibly get. One, even if only for a little while, and Ritsuka trembled knowing Ryu craved him just as badly.

 

For saying he wanted to be taken, Ryu was playing the perfect seme. Oozing confidence and all things sensual, he lowered beside him and Ritsuka couldn't help but blush harder and fall back on the mat. His heart started slamming when warm fingers grabbed the sheet under his chin and slowly pulled it all away.

 

“Don't hide from me, Ritsuka.” Ryu needed to feel him against him, memorize every inch of creamy skin. He couldn't understand what made his gorgeous Equal so humble. Ritsuka's feet were even blushing now and hands flew to cover his lower region. “No.” Ryu commanded in a whisper and beat him to it. The feel of Ritsuka pulsing in his hand set his soul over the edge and Ritsuka arched into yet away from the painful bliss rushing over him. “Don't you dare go shy on me now, Loveless.” Their name rumbled out and he felt Ritsuka twitch in his grasp.

 

A glare from him and Ryu knew all fear were gone. Eyes sweeping over the body beneath him, he felt himself grow rather impatient. Although he did want Ritsuka inside him, he still wanted to play. Ryu dropped down beside him once again, and after running his hands over the responsive body, an idea came to mind.

 

“A thousand kisses, a thousand hands.” Ryu purred and then licked the outer edge of his ear.

 

Ritsuka's eyes widened and he threw his head against the pillow when immediately after Ryu stopped speaking, lips and hands of a thousand phantoms were covering his body. Toes curled at the sensation and he had to bite his lip to keep from screaming. No one had ever kissed him in some of the places where eager mouths now could be felt. Skilled, invisible fingers trailed along his excited body and he had to close his eyes to concentrate on not ending the night before it even began. Finally he regained some control and when he did he noticed to his embarrassment that he was bucking at the air. Feeling more than seeing those black eyes on him, Ritsuka opened his mouth and locked gazes with Ryu. It seemed to the older boy he was bringing out the big guns.

 

Between pants and thrusts, the young Fighter/Sacrifice willed words to form from slack lips. “Deep penetration.” Was all he could ground out through clenched teeth. A choked cry broke out across the room and Ritsuka felt Ryu fall onto his stomach beside him, heaving and trembling. The lips and hands were gone in an instant, a breathless smirk crossed Ritsuka's face.

 

Ryu lifted himself up but another assault to his prostate shot through him, slamming back down. It felt too good; he couldn't even scream! Sweat poured off his convulsing body and his eyes rolled shut when another thrust from an unseen lover pulsed through him. Ritsuka smiled as he moved and glanced at the door, which was followed by a lock latching into place. He took a moment to appreciate his work. The spell had prepared Ryu's body for him while giving him pleasure and Ritsuka was more than ready after just a second of watching his Equal rock back and forth in delirium. Ryu moaned; he was so close and beyond falling over the edge. At the moment of contact of palm to slick skin, the pressure in his cavity lessoned. A shudder went through him when he noticed how near Ritsuka was.

 

Ritsuka smiled as his hand massaged the erratically swishing tail in his grip and bent to bypass the appendage to place thirsty lips on the mark just above it. Sweat and a trace of something magic touched his tongue and Ryu choked out a sob when suddenly the presence was gone from inside him. The spell had been recalled and not a moment too soon. Before he could collapse, arms wrapped about his waist and pulled him up on his knees and against a firm chest from behind. Dazed hematite looked into swirling violet as a cool hand turned his face to his Equal.

 

“I win.” Ritsuka cooed through his smirk and was only given a dumb grin for a response. He watched as the disorientation vanished from Ryu's eyes and his steaming body moved away from him. A growl carried from his chest straight to his groin when Ryu leaned forward on his knees and palms. Relaxed muscle and glistening skin beckoned to him and he thought he would pass out when the older boy looked over his shoulder at him.

 

“Ritsuka, the bottle.” Glancing around, he finally noticed what all his Equal grabbed from the bathroom.

 

Making quick work to spread the towel underneath Ryu, he sat back again to grab the once ignored lube. Ryu shuddered when he heard the snap of a cap opening and again when he heard Ritsuka hiss knowing he was covering himself in the cool, soft liquid. His arms shook, threatening to give out, when a burning hardness pressed against him. They both voiced the effects of what was happening, and Ritsuka noted the pain in his Ryu's soft tenor and willed himself to go as slow as possible. This was torture! For so long he waited to find Ritsuka, to be with him, to share their power, and now his Equal was acting like he was going to break. All he wanted was to feel more of that fire and he was being teased with such slowness! Ritsuka screamed and gripped the curvy hips in front of him hard when Ryu slammed back and sheathed himself completely in one motion.

 

For a moment he thought he was finished, but once the ringing in his ears stopped and felt he was still hard, Ritsuka sighed and rubbed the abused flesh under his fingers in apology. Instinct kicking in, his hips gave an experimental nudge forward and he was given a grateful huff from his boyfriend. Pulling out earned him a hiss. Pushing in got him a cry of a curse and he smiled at the reaction. Ritsuka thought back to all of those websites and all of them had one thing in common. All of them stressed the importance of locating your lover's prostate, and he believed he found it when Ryu cried out and started speaking nonsense between a few more colorful words. He moved around a bit and when he pulled out he felt even his thighs begin to twitch in anticipation. His hips shot forward and Ryu finally did collapse and dropped his head to the pillows below.

 

“Oh Ritsuka! Gods, I think I'm dying!” He choked after that.

 

Ritsuka couldn't slow down any longer. With his Equal not seeming to mind, his thrusts became harsher and deeper. They both started hollering with each plunge. Minutes seemed like hours in the darkness and all he could do was keep pounding forward. The fear of all this being a dream too real to make him slow. The thought of Ryu not existing propelled the sweating boy onward, faster and harder until all he could do was think about the feeling of being with his match. Ryu gave out a loud cry and rose again in a sharp arch. The sound of something wet flowing onto the towel below them reached Ritsuka's ears and he whimpered at the delicious sound. His virgin senses couldn't handle the clenching muscles around him, and with one last pump he too sounded his orgasm into the night before collapsing on top of his Equal. When Ryu didn't move, Ritsuka surged up and pulled out as carefully as he could. Even then he received no reaction.

 

“Ryu?” Ritsuka gently rolled the older boy over and his limp body moved easily. Panic gripped him and he lowered himself beside him and saw he was breathing but his eyes were very far away. “No, Ryu. I'm so sorry.” Ritsuka felt tears coming at the thought of causing him damage. “I'm sorry I hurt you.” Words trailed off when a wide smile spread over the young man's face and when he turned to him, all the light was back in his eyes.

 

“Gods, Ritsuka. You're too perfect.” He said, voice steady and deep once again. Before anything else could be said, his hands were running through his damp, black hair and giving a tired kiss.

 

When they broke away, Ritsuka marveled at his boyfriend's now earless head and couldn't get enough of petting him. They stayed silent in each other's hold for a few minutes. Basking in the rich afterglow, Ritsuka stretched and snuggled against him. He hadn't hurt him. For a minute there he lost control and thought he was going to have to pay the ultimate price for it. A laugh wanted to escape exhausted lungs. Was it possible to die from sex? It was silly now but true fright had a hold of him, and thinking back made him grip Ryu tighter. As sleep slowly took a hold, he noticed the comforting hand rubbing up and down his side was getting lower and firmer. Surprised to find himself waking up, in more places than one, Ritsuka glanced up at Ryu. The look he was given was downright sinister but before he could speak his disturbance, firm hands gripped his sides and eased him down onto his back. A kiss was all it took to leave him breathless and when his eyes refocused, Ryu was smiling all too sweetly to trust.

 

“Let's take care of these, shall we?” He growled and Ritsuka's eyes widened when Ryu's hand rose to scratch the base of his still present ears. A deep shudder rang through his sensitized body as his other hand reached around and started rubbing the base of his tail. His body was already reacting and Ritsuka could only loll his head back and tremble when hot lips ghosted over his ear. “I win.” He just knew the idiot was smiling.