Lupin III Fan Fiction ❯ Cheerful theif ❯ To friggen cheerful ( Chapter 1 )

Hello dear readers! Ever had a day that started out normal but then ended in total surprise mixed in with some good ol' chaos? My name is Yuka Macamachi I'm an average woman of 21…. Well in some sense because I'm not particularly normal. I practice budo HIYA! But I'm more of a Bo staff kind of person… Anyway back to my strange day… I woke up normally got dressed eat breakfast (blah blah blah). Everything went downhill from there though… I live in a rather nice house pretty big. (I got a lot of inheritance after my parents died) and it's supped up with the best security around… basically. But I felt like someone was behind me the whole day! Then when I went to take a bath I heard a gasp come from outside the bathhouse! (FYI it's a feudal style Japanese bathhouse)). Since I don't want to kill anyone by the sight of my horrible body I decided to skip the bath and find out what was following me! So I went all “ninja” and looked. I looked in the kitchen in the living room in the bathroom and in all of the crawlspaces plus the attic! I was pretty cheesed off by now and when I get cheesed off! I feel like napping…. What were you thinking I was going to bash in a wall with my Bo or what?

 

Soooooo I went into my parlor and took that nap… I had a dream I turned into a purple llama… weirdest dream I ever had for sure…. But that's beside the point! When I woke up I wasn't in the parlor anymore! I was in reddish looking jalopy type car. At least I think it was red. It was hard to see because it was so dark outside. I took a nap at noontime so I was most likely drugged… Great the first drug like thing I ever have and it's a tranquilizer! I stayed quiet though.

 

The two men in front were talking about some kind of shiny thing most likely a gem… I really hope it's a purple gem… The car came to a rough stop and the two men got out. One of them opened the backseat door, which was where I was seated. He opened it slowly and cheerfully as usual I said “Hello” with a big bright smile.

 

“Yeesh” the bearded man said taking of his hat and rubbing his head “ you sure do take well to being kidnapped…”

 

“She's awake??” the other man looked into the backseat where I was sitting. “Well hello” He said flaring his nostrils “I am Lupin the third but you can call me the sex god” He said reaching out his hand hoping I would shake it or something…

 

I simply smiled and said “not interested” then I got out of the car and tried to walk past the two men “excuse me” I said smiling

 

“Uh no.?” the bearded man said getting out his gun “you don't want to do that”

 

“What Jigan is trying to say is” Lupin put his arm around me” We need you” My eyes widened as I felt a hand on my rear that's where I drew the line! I mean I wasn't that pretty to begin with… was I? I stopped thinking and took out a small stick. It was my special Bo I twisted it gingerly and it grew about 4 feet in length. I whacked him hard on the noggin and he fell to the ground. I prepared to give him a double strike when I heard a loud Shing”. The half of my bow fell on the ground. I looked around and finally found the culprit. “A samurai?” I said baffled He wore grey robes with pleated pants. His dressings were similar to mine except mine were feminine. Because I wore a less puffy hakama that didn't reveal too much at all and also my pants were flowier and covered most of my feet. A purple hakama and blackish pants yup…

 

He looked at me oddly. I smiled sweetly, and then the strangest thing happened! He got out of stance “Yuka?” I must have jumped at least 6 feet back ((woohoo I can do that!)) because he started laughing.

 

“Do I know you?” I said still smiling though rather nervously now…

 

He tossed his sword hard at my head and I jumped kicked the thing to the ground “DON'T DOOOO THAT GOEMON!!!!!!” after realizing what I had said I huge smile spread across my face! “Goemon!” I practically glomped the poor guy and he fell over with me sitting Indian style on top of his chest.

 

“Yuka” He said blushing “I... Can't … breathe”

 

Jigan and Lupin became hysterical within seconds. I helped Goemon up and we started asking each other a whole bunch of questions like” how've ya been “ and “whatcha been doing” you know normal stuff. But my last question was very important “ What am I doing here?”

 

Goemon looked confused “You mean they didn't tell you” He glared at Jigan and Lupin “Did you drug her to get her here?”

 

Lupin scuttled back a few feet “But but but she wouldn't have come if we didn't-!” Goemon stopped them. “Did you ask her?”

 

Then I spoke up “Yeah! Did you ask me?” I fidgeted with my hakama “I would've come” Then I playfully threw my arms up and shrugged “What are you going to do! Now why am I here?”

 

Goemon put his sword back on his belt “We need you to tell us the location of the purple sapphire”

 

I must've looked incredibly confused because Goemon felt the urge to explain it more.

 

“A purple shiny rock buried somewhere” He said getting impatient

 

“I know… but… Sapphires ARE NOT purple” I grabbed the broken half of my bow off the ground and put it in my sleeve “I mean I like purple but-”

 

“Lupin!!! Lover!!' A really slutty looking woman ran out of the huge estate in front of me. As soon as she got to where Lupin was she glared at me “Who is this”

 

“I'm Yukiko but call me Yuka” I said plain and simple though the woman still glared at me

 

“Lover” She rubbed Lupins chin “ I told you no more prostitutes”

 

My eyes widened in shock and out of no where I blurt “I can't be a prostitute I'm a virgin for crying out loud unlike soooome people who are all worn out”

 

“Excuse me?” The woman flipped her hair as Lupin let go of her and started rubbing his hands” A virgin!!!” I swear he was drooling! He started to approach me at a quickening pace. He started running in a matter of time and I was frozen to the spot terrified. Luckily Goemon got in front of me and drew his sword

 

“Lupin….” He clenched his teeth “don't you touch her”

 

Lupin stopped running “ Oh I get it! You must still like her or something!” Goemon slashed in the air and Lupins clothes fell in tatters to his feet.

 

“Let's go inside Yuka…” Goemon closed his eyes and headed towards the door.

 

I followed him inside and sat next to him on the couch casually as everyone came back inside.

 

“Okay whatever your name is tells us where the gem is!” The woman yelled impatiently

 

“The name is Yuka and I'd be happy if you used it” I leaned on the arm of the couch “And the purple gem…” Everyone leaned into listen to me “I'm not telling where it is”

 

Jigan grabbed my arms and shook me “why not?????”

 

I fixed my hair and smiled “Why do you need to know?”

 

Goemon spoke up “A lot has changed since we were last together Yuka I am a thief now”

 

“What?” I was utterly shocked! I thought he had a little more honor then that! I needed something to calm my nerves… I got up absent-mindedly and went into the kitchen.

 

Everyone followed me to find out what I was doing. Goemon spoke up when I stared taking his food stash from the cabinets. “Hey! Don't take those!

 

I turned around “ Why not? I'm hungry and I want Misao soup” He just stared at me strangely as usual “Stop giving me that look! You people treat me like I belong in a mental facility!” Everyone gave each other these weird “She does” looks “Quiet!”

 

They all went back into the living room probably to talk about how to get me to tell them where the stupid gem was while I went on chopping and adding herbs and such. Everyone walked in and sat down at the table. I turned around they looks like they had something to say. “Yes?”

 

“You can have a cut of the profits if you help” My eyes widened “Really?”

 

“Yeah…. And if you let me touch you butt on a regular basis” Lupin giggled

 

I stared blankly and tossed my broken Bo at him. Goemon and Jigan laughed while fugiko tended to Lupin.

 

 

“So that's Why I joined lupins gang…. For the money… who am I kidding! I joined because… It's a secret!

 

Preview- I finally tell the gang about the gem! Fugiko and me get into a catfight… Yes sweet and innocent me in a catfight. The rest is a secret wait till next time to find out!