Lupin III Fan Fiction ❯ Daddy's Girl ❯ Midday Confession ( Chapter 36 )

Daddy's Girl

By Bekka Mouri-Hibiki

(Lupin isn't mine. Jigen breaks the news to Toshiko while Lupin talks to Fujiko and Goemon.)

Part Thirty-Six: Midday Confession

Fujiko glared at Lupin across the desk from where she sat on the couch. " What? " She said sharply.

" I thought we discussed why Toshiko is so clingy to Jigen, " Lupin said. " I thought you understood that I didn't want you to use it against him. "

" Lupin, " Fujiko rolled her eyes. " I can't believe YOU let him be around her knowing what she's been through. She's bound to be messed up and not know what to do. Obviously since she offered herself to him she doesn't know the right way to thank someone. "

" I'd have to agree with you on that but Jigen will get mad if he knows Goemon heard that. He's going to have a hard enough time when she leaves so I don't want to complicate the situation, " Lupin shook his head.

" When is she leaving anyway? " Fujiko cut her eyes to the door.

" I haven't decided when, " Lupin narrowed his eyes at Fujiko. " Why? "

Fujiko looked at Lupin again, " How can you even ask why? I don't want her around Jigen for much longer because if he does what she asked him to do it'll just mess her up more and I don't want to see that happen to her. She's already dealing with enough shit and she doesn't need to deal with the pain of being used and thrown away. "

" Whoa. How do you know he'll just use her and throw her away? Did it even occur to you that he might have some feelings for her too? " Lupin arched an eyebrow.

" Jigen. Feelings… " Fujiko acted like she was thinking really hard about it. " Jigen with feelings for anyone else but himself… "

" Very funny, " Lupin growled. " He does have feelings you know. He tries to be all cold and unfeeling on the outside but he has them. If he didn't, do you think he would have offered to help you? "

Fujiko scoffed, " You know as well as I do that he was after that gun. "

" Are you sure that hyped up piece of shit is the reason why he snuck behind my back when he's one of the most loyal people I've ever known? " Lupin narrowed his eyes. He was still touchy about the astronomical waste of time The Golden Gun had been. Upon closer examination, he found he was nothing but a run of the mill Magnum that had been plated in gold. He started to wonder if Chamberlain had been just as good of a shot as Jigen to make the gun seem like it had fantastic abilities.

" Yeah. Anyone would have loved to get a hold of that gun; " Fujiko waved a hand in the air. " I mean, look at you. "

" That gun is worthless without a good shot behind it, " Lupin said. " It's just like any other gun out there. "

Fujiko frowned, " You're shitting me. "

" No, " Lupin said. " I looked that thing over yesterday and I came to the conclusion that I blew up the only guy in Japan that could have given Jigen a run for his money. "

" How can you tell that just by looking at the gun? " Fujiko asked skeptically.

" You seem to forget that my grandfather knew men that made guns and he had them teach me everything I know about them. I examined that gun and found it was not modified or anything except for the gold plating, " Lupin sighed.

" So you're saying we wasted our time as usual? " Fujiko arched an eyebrow.

" Yes, " Lupin nodded. " The only thing good that came out of this mess was helping Toshiko. I think it was just a huge fluke that Ryousuke and Chamberlain were connected. "

" I'd definitely chalk it up to being a happenstance, " Fujiko nodded.

" Now, back to Toshiko and Jigen. "

Fujiko rolled her eyes, " Oh yes. I forgot we're discussing him. "

" Lay off of him for a little while, " Lupin said sharply. " He's going to be having a hard enough time as it is without you picking fights with him. "

" What do you mean by that? " Fujiko looked confused.

" You're a smart girl. You'll figure it out. Now be a dear and go fetch Goemon. I need to talk to him. "

**

Toshiko looked at the things she had Jigen get from her apartment. Since they had all been in different colored boxes, Jigen wasn't sure what he had actually brought to her. He watched from the door as she opened each box just slightly and smiled before shutting them again. He smiled, " I'm dying of curiosity babe… What's in the boxes? "

Toshiko looked up at him quickly before stuffing them back into the suitcase, " Just stuff I needed. Its just stuff with sentimental value so doesn't worry about it. What did you need to talk to me about? "

Jigen glanced towards the window, " Um, how do you feel about seeing your mom today? "

" Today? " Toshiko's eyes went wide.

" Yeah. Lupin and I were kicking around the idea of bringing her out here so she could see you, " Jigen tried not to look at her. He had discussed the idea with Lupin but didn't want to mention that Lupin thought it would be best to send the girl home as soon as the next day.

Toshiko ran her finger along the edge of her suitcase, " She might want to take me home if she comes today. "

" I know you have a lot of obligations so you really can't linger here too long, " Jigen said. He was unsure of where he was going with the statement.

Toshiko nodded, " Yeah. I have to go see my probation officer so I don't get in trouble and I have therapy this week… "

" As soon as you're reported found you'll have to fulfill those commitments or you're going to end up going somewhere… " Jigen's voice trailed off. The thought of Toshiko locked up in a juvenile correctional facility scared him. He heard that there were some really vicious girls in those places and knew Toshiko wouldn't be able to fight them.

" I really don't want to go to jail, " Toshiko sighed. She then looked at Jigen, " But I don't want to leave here either. "

Jigen walked over to the bed and sat down, " I know but you'll have to go. If you stay here, it might make more problems for you. "

" Do you not want me here any more? " Toshiko said as she started scratching at the surface of the suitcase.

Jigen looked at her, " I'm not saying that babe. I'd love to have you around if it was possible but it isn't. It'll just complicate your problems. "

" I don't want to leave though, " Toshiko muttered. " I want to stay here. "

" You have to go home though, " Jigen put his hand on top of hers.

Toshiko pulled her hand away from his, " You don't want me any more. "

Jigen arched an eyebrow, " When the hell did I say that? "

" You didn't but I can tell, " Toshiko pulled her hands out from Jigen's and them in her lap.

" You're jumping to conclusions, " Jigen put his right hand on her left upper arm. " It's not that I don't want you because I do but I want you to take care of the things you need to get out of the way. You have to go to therapy then there's school and you have to see your probation officer or you're going to jail. I don't know what your mother did to get you such a light sentence but there will be nothing she can do if you violate those conditions she worked so hard to get. "

" Jigen, " Toshiko tried to pull away.

Jigen grabbed her arm, " No. You need to listen to me. "

" If I listen will you let go? " Toshiko asked.

Jigen nodded, " Yes but I'll only let go when I'm finished. "

" I'll listen so tell me, " Toshiko said.

" You aren't seeing the big picture here, " He was trying to keep his temper in check. The last person he wanted to get angry in front of was Toshiko. He knew it would scare her if she saw him mad but she was frustrating him.

He had thought about what he was going to say to her and it was taking a lot for him to tell her she needed to go home when he wanted her to stay. He wanted to protect her and help her with her problems but her staying would only complicate things. She would be a fugitive but that wasn't what bothered him the most. The fact she had a chance to turn around and be something before it was too late but was hesitating to take it was what was irking him to no end.

" What's the big picture? " Toshiko looked confused.

" If you stick with the deal your mom made for you, you can have a normal life. I don't want to see you become a criminal, " Jigen looked her in the eyes. " Do you really want to be a fugitive? Do you want to betray your mother like that after everything she's done for you? "

" But you guys are criminals and you seem to be doing okay, " Toshiko said.

" Sure we are. We're doing just fine, " Jigen said sarcastically. " We're doing just spiffy. We have to run and hide all over the world. Our only saving grace with this place is that the police have no idea where it is. "

" That could change, " Toshiko's foreboding tone made it sound like she was making a thinly veiled threat.

Jigen narrowed his eyes, " It better not. "

" I was just saying… " Toshiko shrank away from him, her tone changing drastically.

" Look, your mom did a lot for you so you at least owe her the courtesy of finishing the sentence she got for you so you didn't end up getting your ass kicked in juvenile detention. "

Toshiko looked away and muttered, " You don't know anything about it. "

" Maybe I don't know everything but I know what you told me and I feel like she's busted her ass to give you the best life she could, " Jigen pulled Toshiko towards him. " She had to hack it on her own for nine years to give you a good life and you shouldn't just throw it back in her face. "

" How can you say that? " Toshiko looked back at him as she put a hand on the suitcase to brace herself from getting closer to Jigen as he continued to pull her towards him. " You don't know anything about me or my life. "

" Then we're equal, " Jigen grabbed the suitcase and threw it off the bed before grabbing Toshiko by the other arm. " I don't know anything about you and I haven't told you a damn thing about my life. For all intents and purposes, we're practically strangers. "

Toshiko squirmed to get out of Jigen's grip, " You're scaring me… please let me go. "

" I'm not letting you go until you've heard everything I need to say to you, " Jigen growled through clenched teeth. He could feel himself losing his temper. He had wanted the girl to grow a backbone but now she was just being too headstrong. Her stubbornness was starting to remind him of someone else he knew a little too well.

" Then say it, " Toshiko whispered. Her voice was trembling slightly even though it seems she was having a resurgence of defiance in spite of the fear Jigen could see in her eyes. " Tell me. "

" Have you ever gone hungry or been cold since your mother split up with your dad? " Jigen asked. " At any time, did you have to beg on the street for money so you could make through another day? "

Toshiko shook her head slowly, " No. "

" I want you to think about something then, " Jigen narrowed his eyes. " I want you to imagine a beautiful girl a little older than you standing on a street corner and asking people to take her and her little baby boy home. I want you to imagine that girl saying she'll do anything just so she and that baby can have some place warm to sleep. "

" Why? " Toshiko furrowed her brow.

" Because she doesn't have a damn penny to her name and her parents threw her out after she had the baby, " Jigen growled.

" Why did she have the baby if she knew she would get kicked out? " Toshiko looked puzzled by the concept. " Couldn't she have just put it up for adoption? "

" No, " Jigen narrowed his eyes. " You know why she didn't do that? "

" No. "

" Because she decided that she wanted to keep the baby so she'd have something to love and that would love her back, " Jigen said. " She didn't intend to keep the baby at first but it dawned on her that she would finally have a shot at being loved and loving someone that wouldn't fuck her over. "

" Oh, " Toshiko muttered.

" Are you going to listen because I'm not finished yet, " Jigen tightened his grip a bit when he felt Toshiko trying to pull away again.

" Yes, " Toshiko nodded.

Jigen continued, " I want you to keep imagining that girl. She'd do anything for that baby and I mean anything. That kid grew up thinking it was perfectly normal for his mother to be bruised and hurt all the time. He was used to not sleeping in the same place for more than a few days and was well versed in the art of panhandling by the time he was five. "

" Why are you telling me this? " Toshiko seemed like she was confused. " Why are you telling me such a sad story? What does it have to do with anything at all? "

" I'll tell you when I'm finished. Keep listening, " Jigen said.

" It's making me sad, " Toshiko countered.

Jigen cocked his head to the side, " Really now? "

" Yes, " Toshiko nodded. " What happened to the kid's father? Why wasn't he around? Did he walk out or something? "

Jigen growled, " He raped the girl and she never saw him again. She remembered his face because she saw it every time she looked at the baby she loved so much but she didn't care. It wasn't the kid's fault. "

" Oh my God, " Toshiko gasped.

" The kid never knew what having a father was like until his mom got knocked up again by some guy but he swore he'd save her and never let her suffer again instead of throwing her away. She believed him and married that guy. Things were good for a while too. The kid thought he had nothing to worry about but then his stepfather's true colors started to show. "

Toshiko's eyes widened, " What do you mean? "

" The guy was a mobster and started using the kid to help him with jobs where he needed someone small to squeeze into places. He taught the kid how to shoot a gun and the kid was able to shoot pretty good by the time his little sister was born. The kid thought it was fun for a while until he realized he was getting screwed over. Once the baby sister came along, the stepfather stopped paying attention to the kid and treated him like shit except for when he needed help on a job. "

" Did the kid still help him? " Toshiko asked.

" He'd bribe the kid into helping. Sometimes, he'd promise the kid a share of the take or he'd threaten the kid with a beating if he didn't cooperate. It all depended on the stepfather's mood at the time, " Jigen said. " Finally, the kid had enough and bailed out when he was seventeen to freelance because he had gotten a girl knocked up. "

" Freelance? "

" He worked for himself and worked for anyone that would pay his price, " Jigen explained. " If he felt like he was getting fucked over, he'd bail out and leave the job undone. He wanted people to know he didn't take it well but it got him in a lot of trouble too. He was good at dodging trouble though and kept his wife and baby in pretty good shape with the money he did get. "

" Then what happened to the kid? " Toshiko sounded curious.

" He wasn't a kid anymore, " Jigen said. " He was a man with a baby and a wife to support. He thought he was doing pretty good until he came home one night when he was nineteen to find his wife gone and a note saying she had found out where the money was coming from. The wife was a good girl and didn't take too well to the fact her husband was a mobster. He had never told her anything about it and was very pissed off that he hadn't told her. "

" So she divorced him? "

" Yeah, " Jigen nodded. " The man ended up not knowing where she and their kid went after the divorce was final but he really didn't care. He just kept to himself until and didn't mess with any more dames until he thought love had come along again. He was wrong though. That bitch fucked him over big time and he beat her up over it. "

" Why? "

" Because he was an asshole and didn't know any other way to deal with it, " Jigen replied. " He got pissed off at her the night they broke up and he did a number on her. He beat her up a bit then slammed her into a wall a few times. He probably would have killed her if some guys hadn't peeled him off of her. "

" What happened then? "

" He got the shit beat out of him and his jaw busted. He had to have his jaw wired shut so it could heal. After it healed up, he decided to go back his old neighborhood to see his mother and ask her what the hell went wrong with him. He got there just in time to hear the news that some fifteen-year-old girl was about to jump off of a building. He got to the place just as the girl jumped and got the shock of his life. "

Toshiko's eyes were steadily getting wider as everything began to register in her mind. " Jigen… "

" I'm not finished, " Jigen said sharply. " The building the girl was jumping off of was the guy's old apartment building… "

" Please stop. I don't want to hear any more. "

" You're going to listen damn it! " Jigen growled. " He looked up and saw it was his sister. She jumped so quickly after he got there, he couldn't do a damn thing to stop her. He pushed his way through the crowd just in time to see his mother gather his sister's broken bloody body to hers. The sister was still barely alive but fading fast. "

Toshiko's eyes started to fill with tears, " Please… stop telling me this. "

" He took his sister from his mother and asked her why she did it. Her face was twisted in pain because every bone in her body was broken and she was bleeding to death. With her dying breath, she told him it was because her dad was making her work with the mob and she couldn't take it any more. The guy became blinded with rage then hunted down his stepfather like an animal and put a bullet in his head. "

Toshiko started to pull away, " Stop! "

Jigen pulled Toshiko to him, " Do you know who that guy was? " He snarled into her face. " Do you know? "

" It was you wasn't it? " Toshiko sobbed.

" Damn straight it was me so don't you fucking sit here and tell me you've had it hard. I'm not saying I'm some sort of martyr because of the shit I've had to deal with but I didn't have a choice. This is the life I know how to live because it's the only way I've known how to live. You've got a fucking choice and I'm not going to stand by while you screw it up. "

" I never knew, " Toshiko shook her head.

" That's why I told you. I didn't want to but you needed to hear it, " Jigen let go of Toshiko's arms then grabbed her chin. " Tell me something. "

" What? " Toshiko said as she put her hand on his wrist to pull his hand away.

Jigen tightened his grip, " Did your mom ever have to beg borrow or steal just to put food on the table for you? "

" No, " Toshiko said.

" Did she ever have to sell her body so you could have new clothes for school? "

Toshiko shook her head the best she could. " We always had money. "

" Well I didn't. Looking back, I can see just how horrible my life was so excuse me when it makes me sick to hear other people claim they've had it hard. You don't know what 'hard' is. "

" Maybe I don't… " Toshiko whispered.

Jigen let go of her chin, " Don't you think I'm making any of this up to make you feel like you have no right to complain. I haven't even told Lupin this much about myself. If you need some kind of proof, I still have the shirt I had on the day my sister died. "

Toshiko looked shocked, " You do? "

" Yeah, " Jigen stood up and grabbed Toshiko by the hand. He took her out of her room and into his. He locked the door once they were inside and led her to the dresser. He let go of her hand and crouched down to the bottom drawer.

Toshiko watched as he opened the drawer to reveal a large lockbox. He took the box out and put it on the dresser before getting a key from behind the mirror. He unlocked the box with it and glanced at Toshiko, " Go ahead and look. Everything in this box is everything that is important to me and Lupin hasn't even seen what's in here. "

Toshiko stepped closer hesitantly, finding that the box didn't have much in it. There was a bloodstained dress shirt sealed in a plastic bag, a stack of vinyl 45's, an old newspaper and an old looking gun that looked like it hadn't been touched in a very long time. Her eyes were drawn to a small velvet ring box and Jigen noticed she was looking at it. " Don't even ask about that, " He muttered.

" I wasn't going to, " Toshiko said defensively as she watched him lift out the shirt. He looked at it for long time before setting it aside and reaching in the box for something else. Toshiko saw it was a black and white picture, yellowed slightly with age. The picture was of a pretty blonde girl sitting on a swing while an older raven haired boy stood behind her, his hands on the ropes that held the swing to the tree it hung from with his chin resting on the top of the girl's head.

She looked at it for a long moment then looked at Jigen, " Is that your sister? "

Jigen nodded, " It was taken on her seventh birthday so that made me about fourteen. We went to this park and our mother had just got the camera so she was taking pictures of everything. She had three copies made of that picture though because it came out so well. "

Toshiko looked at the picture again, " You were cute. "

Jigen took the shirt back, " Yeah. Mom used to say people gave her money sometimes because I was such a cute kid. I don't know when I got so ugly though. "

Toshiko put a hand on Jigen's arm, " I didn't say you were ugly. I think you're handsome. "

Jigen didn't reply to her comment as he gingerly picked up the age-yellowed newspaper, " Be careful with this. I intend to get it laminated someday but I just haven't had the time. "

Toshiko watched as he unfolded it. It was the front page of a Chicago daily paper. She noticed he wasn't really looking at it as he opened it. He handed it to her and she looked at the picture on it, gasping when she realized what she was looking at.

" This is… " She whispered. She scanned the story next to the picture. " This is your sister? How could they take a picture like that? "

" The papers had no shame back then babe, " Jigen looked away. " They just took pictures they thought would sell papers. I can't even look at it some times. It's bad enough I can still see it in my head like it was yesterday. "

Toshiko shoved the paper back at Jigen " Please tell me that isn't a bone sticking out of her arm. "

" I told you she broke everything. That's what you look like when you hit the ground if you jump, " Jigen took the paper back. He carefully re-folded it and placed it back in the box. " That's probably what you would have looked like if you had fallen from that tree out there. I hate to think what you would have looked like if you fell from the tower. They probably would have had to pry you out of the concrete considering how high up you were. "

Toshiko started to tremble, " Oh my God. "

Jigen reached over to her and put an arm around her. " Can you see why I was so hard on you over it now? "

Toshiko nodded, " I wouldn't want my mom to see me like that. "

" I wouldn't want anyone to see you like that, " Jigen sighed. " Annie was so pretty and it's sad to think that's the last picture of her that was ever taken. "

" Is that why you've been so protective of me? " Toshiko whispered.

Jigen nodded, " Yeah. I wasn't able to save Annie but I knew if I tried hard enough, I could save you. If I had the time, I could have helped Annie get out and kept her safe but it wasn't possible. When I realized just how bad you needed help, I was determined to give it to you. "

" Oh, " Toshiko murmured.

Jigen put the shirt and the newspaper back in the lockbox and shut it. He glanced at Toshiko, " What happened between us came from way out in left field though. It was the last thing on my mind when I decided I was going to give you a hand. "

Toshiko glanced up at him, " So are you saying that you regret that it happened now? "

" I'm just saying it was a surprise, that's all. I mean all I set out to do was help you… I never thought we'd end up in bed together, " Jigen shook his head.

" Jigen? " Toshiko looked at their reflection in his dresser mirror.

" What babe? " He looked at her reflection. It just seemed easier to look her in the eyes that way.

She leaned on him a little more, " You've made a lot a sense why I should go but what if there's a reason that I think I should stay no matter the consequences? "

Jigen furrowed his brow, " What would be that important? "

Toshiko looked at his reflection, " You. "