Macross Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ The Legend of Macross (which has nothing to do with Macross, really) ❯ Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6: THE CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER…

"Tea parties," Piccolo said, pouring some tea into a glass china cup, "Are strange. You know why? Well, because after years of investing good hard cash into watching `Alice in Wonderland' a countless number of times I realised that being a rapper was…so uncalled for. The excitement of a Tea party just beckons me."

Stan gazed around the room of which he had somehow crammed himself into. It must have looked terribly odd to see a Mech of such surprising proportions sitting on the splintered remains of what must have been at one point, a tiny wooden chair.

"You sure have strange customs, you humans."

"I'm not a human." Piccolo said after some time, sipping his tea. "I'm a Namikien."

Stan coughed, and tried very hard to grasp the teacup with his overly huge fingers, failed, and threw the cup against the wall. It just missed Hotaru's head as she walked from the Kitchen holding a tray of cups. She grumbled and tugged with great annoyance on the chains bound around her ankles. Yes, it was Sailor Saturn the Slave. Piccolo's new hobby was buying senshi from across American to do his bidding.

"You know how the Mad Hatter became Mad? Well, that's something only meant for me to know, maybe I'll tell you sometime when you're fortunate enough." Piccolo started, "Another thing? You know the giant Caterpillar in Alice In Wonderland? Well, I'll have you know that's not a pipe he's smoking, it's weed."

Stan wasn't listening. He was currently engaged in some battle to focus on the nearest object within reaching distance. The world was spinning…the strange man talking was turning purple…he felt like he was floating.

What was this glorious feeling?

It was called, `Intoxicated'.

Stan felt he rather liked being `Intoxicated'. He felt happy, he felt like he could fly, he felt like tipping over and crashing into the nice China Cabinet at the far left.

"Are you listening to a word I'm saying?" Came Piccolo's somewhat frustrated voice.

Stan focused on him. "Not really…heee heee!"

Piccolo sighed and got up from the table.

"I believe our good friend Stan has had to much…" he picked up the bottle at Stan's feet and read the label, "Bacardi."

"Who did this?? WHO POSIENED HIS TEA WITH THE DRINK OF THE DEVIL???!!!!"

Stan erupted into a fit of hysteria. In his drunken state he reached down and grabbed Hotaru in his hands.

"What nice…breasts you `ave!" He giggled, stuffing her into his right nostril. Hotaru, for lack of something better to do, screamed. It wasn't pleasant to be shoved into a nostril.

Stan got up; followed by a huge crash that caused splinters of wood to fall at Piccolo and Tina's feet.

"You know, I don't think it was a wise thing to give Stan some Bacardi on his first visit.

Tina facefaulted as she watched Stan crash through the next building and on his way.

Hotaru slowly opened one eye from her vantagepoint, which at the time seemed to be a very awkward and uncomfortable position. If not for being a contortionist on her spare time, she would have been dead by now.

All around her was blackness. Inky dark blackness.

Where was she any ways?

Well, she remembered the events of being at a tea party with her good friend and Master, Piccolo.

Then, she…

She couldn't bring herself to remember.

She held her breath as she heard somebody walk by. There were two of them, walking in tune with one another, arguing about something.

"Wait a second, can you hear something?"

"A new visitor?"

"George, we don't get `Visitors' around here."

"Where's she from then? Mars? My god Ugly Bob, you do upset me so."

"Shut up! I'm not up to your intolerance today! Visitors are a rare occurrence."

"Stan must be going through midlife crisis…"

Hotaru held her breath as the two rounded a corner.

"It's a woman!" The one with the brown paper bag over his head cried. "Lord be praised!"

Hotaru blinked. The two men stared back at her.

"Who might you be?" The one beside the bagman asked.

"I'm…I'm…a human pretzel." She said after a moment.

The black haired one frowned. "A human pretzel? My my, won't the master be surprised?"

Hotaru blinked again. "Who?"

Ugly Bob pulled out a rather large and unpleasant looking fish club. He patted in back and forth in his hands.

"This, you realise, is necessary. All will be explained in due time."

Hotaru didn't feel much after the blackness took her again. She was never again to be seen in this tale.