Macross Fan Fiction ❯ Yesterday's Promise: Today's Memories ❯ Ever After ( One-Shot )

CHAPTER ONE

NOW…….

Forty-five miles outside of the Headquarters of the Army of the Southern Cross lay a small town, newly founded by people who were trying to live a normal, quiet life. People who had seen too much violence and too many deaths and had returned to the profession of their grandfathers and great grandfathers: carpenters, artisans and farmers.

At night sounds of little insects coming out of their hiding places to look for food can be heard, a hopeful sign that mother Earth has finally forgiven the human race for almost destroying her. But the man rocking slowly away in a rocking chair hears none of this or if he did, it meant little to him; for he has creased to care about anything anymore in his life.

Rick Hunter had come to this place after his latest mishaps five years ago. How wished he'd died in that crash instead of being stuck the way he is today-- half blind, half crippled; beaten and washed up. No use to anyone, not even to the Army when he knew how desperate they were for men and women to join up, now that there's a full fledge war going on between Earth and the Robotech Masters.

`Lisa,' he sighed as he stared up into the night sky. `Are the stars of Tirol as bright as the ones staring down at me now? Do you ever think of me, Lisa?'

-----------------------

SPACE STATION orbiting Earth, the night before the SDF-3 leaves for Tirol

THEN - Rick's Story…

After weeks of stalking her, he finally cornered her in her quarters. At the sight of him, in her cold and commanding voice she had order him to get out but he'd refused by reminding her happily that she was no longer his Commanding Officer and hadn't been in six years.

He could see the flash of pain that crossed her face and was about to apologized. When he remembered, she leaving early tomorrow morning to Tirol and who knew when she would be back. There were a lot of things between them that needed to be settled. He knew it was either going to be now or never.

He would rather have her pissed off at him than to have her ignore him like he didn't exist. He knew he could not let her leave this time without having his questions answered. He'd let her go too many times in the past and it has gotten him nothing but more confusion, pain and regrets.

When he moved toward her, she stepped back, shying away from his touch. It hurt but he told himself to remain calm and steady-fast in his mission.

"Lisa, if you'll hear me out, I promise to leave as soon as I finished," he said quickly before she could recover from his cruel remark.

He could tell that she was reluctant but she nodded in acceptance and he slowly let out a deep breath.

"I tried to come after you, that day when you came to my place and Khyron attacked out of the blue. But Minmei was there and I couldn't leave her unprotected. She needed me. I know it's a poor excuse now but at that time, it felt right. I'm just so sorry that I couldn't get there in time, maybe if I did, I could have done something and Captain Glove, Claudia and... you know, they would still be here today."

Trying to control the pain in his voice, he pushed on.

"I tried many times afterward, to come to you when I found out that you were alive. To find out if you needed me, to let you know how I felt about you. But each time you ignored me and shut me out as if I didn't matter at all. You treated me like I was just another junior officer under your command, like we weren't even friends! You were always too busy to see or talk to me and after a while, I stopped chasing after you. Do you know how frustrating and hurt I was when I resigned and you acted like you didn't even notice or cared?"

He could hear the anger and frustration in his voice now but he couldn't stop himself as he continued.

"Then I started hearing all these gossips about you and this Commander Berir.* Just because I'm no longer in the service doesn't mean that I don't have ears! Was he the reason why you didn't even bother to come to my wedding? Did you ever love me, Lisa? Was your declaration of love that day a lie?"

Silence.

"Are you going to answer me?" he asked grabbing hold of her and forcing her to look at him.

"Let go of me, Rick! Go away!" she said but he held on to her.

Heartsick, he yelled in response to her outburst. "Talk to me Lisa!"

Finally what seems like an eternity, he heard her especially the confusion in her voice and in her beautiful green eyes when they finally met his.

"What more do you want from me, Rick? Haven't I given you everything you asked for? You choose Minmei so I stepped out of the way. You wanted to be free so I accepted your resignation. You wanted to be happy so I gave you that happiness by removing myself from your life. And you have to gull to question if I ever loved you?!" she cried and shook herself free from his hold.

"Get Out!" she screamed as she put some distance between them.

"What?" he was confused by what she'd just told him yet excited and hopeful at the knowledge that she still loved him. He rushed again to her side, ignoring the hostile look on her face.

"I choose Minmei? No I didn't. You did, Lisa!" he continued not letting her stop him now. "I had to get her to safety but I came back for you!" She stared at him, her eyes wide and surprised at his declaration.

"Didn't you even hear me at all, Lisa? By the time I got air born the attacked was already over, both of the SDFs were destroyed along with Khyron's ship and you... I thought you died. I nearly went mad. Don't you know how much you mean to me? Despite what it seemed like it was YOU, always you, Lisa."

"Stop... please stop," she whispered and he could see hot tears rolling down her cheeks now. He could also tell that she was trying very hard to control herself, to remain cold and impassionate towards him.

It's now or never Hunter!

He reached for her again and drew her into his arms, she came unwilling at first but he held on to her tightly, absorbing her anger, her pain and her resistance and in exchanged he comforted her with his strength and his presence. After a while of him just holding her, rubbing his hand over her back and through her silky hair, he finally felt her relaxed. Only then did he let himself enjoy the feel of holding her in his embrace-- breathing in her perfume, her scent and her presence.

Lisa...

Just saying her name left him open and vulnerable; she tugged at his heart like no one he'd ever met. He'd missed her. He hadn't realized how much until this very moment or how good it feels to fight with her again and to have her yelling at him. Even to have her pissed off at him had been so.... so exciting, invigorating and alive!

Suddenly he knew... `I'm in love with Lisa! I have always been. How could I've been so blind? That's why I've been so unhappy and so restless all these years!'

That knowledge came to him as quick and clear as lighting strike and he rejoiced in it but as fast as his joy had appeared so did it disappear.

I'm married to Minmei!

She must have sensed his last thought too for she suddenly went still in his arms. He hadn't wanted to loosen his arms around her but knew she would but up a struggle this time if he didn't. He watched in agony, his heart in his throat as she blushed and awkwardly she stepped away from him.

"I think you should go, Rick..."

Her words tore at his heart. His feelings for her were so strong. He wanted to cry, his throat ached and burned.

No, I can't loose her, not like this!

He stopped her by grabbing a hold of her right hand and brushed a kiss on the top of her silky head. "Tell me you don't love me, Lisa. Look at me and say it."

He mentally willed her to look at him, to tell him yet dreading that she would because he didn't know what he would do if she said she didn't love him anymore. But she remained still, silent and her eyes never looked at him. He followed her gaze and saw that it was focused on where their hands had join, intertwined and held.

And he knew he was lost.

Forgive me, Lisa, I can't let you go...

"You felt it, too. I know you did, Lisa," he whispered as he pulled her into his embrace and buried his face in her hair. "I love you..." he said before he kissed her.

He kissed her with happiness, with joy, with pleasure and with passion. He kissed her like he'd never kissed other women before her. He kissed her like she was the air he breathed, the salvation he needed and the love he had craved all his life.

"You are the most fascinating woman I've ever known. You're in my head, my heart and my soul. I can't get you out no matter what and till my dying days, I will love only you, Lisa..." he vowed before letting the magic that was uniquely her pulled him into paradise. 

His heart spiked up with joy and happiness when he heard her whispered, `I love you Rick Hunter, I always have and I always will,' just before they fell asleep in each other's arms.

His last thought had been. 'This is where I belonged.'

"No! no!... LISA!" he cried and stared down at her note again. The one he had awoken to instead of her beautiful smiling face. The one she had left behind as she quietly left him and with her, he knew went his heart, his life and his hope for the future.

Rick,

I'm in love with Commander Berir. He loves me. He understands me and he makes me laugh. Please take care of yourself.

Good-bye.

Lisa

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DIARY of Lynn-Minmei…..

I give up! I don't know what to do anymore. Rick is so hateful these days and he is always drunk when I see him. I hate him! I hate him!

I didn't know he could be so mean and so cruel. I haven't done anything to warrant this kind of treatment from him. I have been supportive of him because he has always been very supportive of me in the passed. But I can't do it anymore!

I was not the one who put him in that stupid plane of his in the first place. I was so scared that something like this would happen that was why I insisted on him leaving the service before we got married.

Oh, what am I saying?

We should have never gotten married. If only I could go back. I was so sure of Rick and me; especially after Lisa had come by to tell him that she loved him and instead of going after her he had chose to stay with me. How could I have been so wrong?

I guess Kyle was right after all. Rick could never understand me or give me what I needed. I didn't want to see it but I knew there was always something bothering him even before he had resigned from the service and we got married. He was always spacing out and sometimes he even ignored me when I'm talking to him about important and exciting things that were happening in my life.

After the launching of the SDF-3, he became impossible to live with and that's when he began drinking just like Kyle. How I hated it but there was nothing I could do to stop him. So I started spending more and more time away from home and left him to his flying circus show.

I understand that if I hadn't asked him to resigned, he would have left with the rest of his friends from the service to Tirol. But he doesn't have to blame me. I was only thinking of his safety.

Oh, I got to go now, I have a press conference about my new movie and I'm late already... so many things to do and so little time.

----------

The neighbors, they can't quiet make him out after all these years. He had never socialized with them or gives any indication that he will in the future. He never leaves his property for anything.

A boy who worked in the market, in town, delivers his groceries once a week. Then once every two weeks a plain looking woman from out of town comes to clean his place, does his laundry and then leaves before nigh falls.

Every night, he limps to his rocking chair and stares into the night sky.  He even falls asleep on it most of the time. Once in a while when his wife remembers, she'd come to see him for an hour, for a day or two then she leaves again and don't come back until a year or two have passed.

The neighbors believed she is either a movie star or some really important person for she always arrived in a disguised and leaves in the same way. Even to this day, no one has really seen what she looked like underneath her disguised except that her hair is long and black.

A young woman with short blond hair and piecing blue eyes comes by too. His niece, the neighbors believed for they had heard her call him 'Uncle Rick' that very first day when she had helped him moved in. From her stand and mannerism they knew right away that this niece of their new neighbor was a warrior, a fighter, a solider. The neighbors, they don't care much for the military so when she comes which was about once a month or two, they stay out of sight.

Who was he and what does he think about when he looks at the stars night after night?

The neighbors wondered often but no one asked. They're curious but they don't pry. A man's got a right to his privacy so they look but never bothered him or any of his visitors.

Sometimes they hear him yelling and cursing the name 'Lisa'. They believed that that's probably his wife's name and many of them agreed that if he wanted to curse and yell at her, let him. They couldn't blame him because who among them wouldn't be doing the same thing if their wives only came to visit once a year.

`She put him out

Like the burning end of a midnight cigarette

She broke his heart

He spent his whole life trying to forget

We watched him drink his pain away

A little bit at a time

But he never could get drunk enough

To get her off his mind

Until the night he put the bottle to his head and pulled the trigger

He finally drank away her memory

Life is short

But this time it was bigger

Than the strength he had to get up off his knees

We found him with his face down in the pillow

With a note that says `I'll love her till I die'

And when we buried him beneath the willow

The angels sang a whiskey lullaby'

----------------------------

ONE MONTH After the Defeat of the Robotech Masters...

Dana Sterling bent down to lay fresh flowers on Rick Hunter's grave. She can't believe it that he's gone and has been for six months now.

"Good bye, Uncle Rick. I've missed you, you don't know how much."

`Was it just yesterday that she had been laughing with him over some of the tricks he had taught her to do to drive her instructors at the Academy crazy?' Dana smiled as the memory came back to her.

She had loved Rick Hunter because he was the closest link she had to her parents especially her dad. Rick was her father's best friend and at one time, his Commanding Officer. But more importantly, she had loved him because he truly cared about her as if she were his daughter.

She had never understood why he had chose to die the way he did but she could not fault him either. She was there when his plane had crashed. She was also there when the doctors told him that he would never fly again. She knew his pain, his suffering and private hell.

A week after he had died, she found his private journal detailing everything that had happened to him since the SDF-1's space fold to Pluto's orbit. More importantly, the people he'd known, seen and passed away during the First Robotech War.

Through his journal, she had come to know more of her parents, his fascination with Lynn-Minmei, his love for Auntie Lisa and his devastation at loosing Roy Fokker whom he called his "big brother". She had come to understand him so much more now as a man instead of the hero and the legend she had forever seen him in her eyes.

"I'll be going to deep space tomorrow. I'm going to find my parents, the SDF-3 and... Aunt Lisa.  I feel so guilty for leaving but they're our only hope now.  Uncle Rick, the Invid invasion is coming and we're not going to be able to stop it without their help. Things have changed around here.  With the destruction of the command headquarters and the deaths of most of the top commanding officers, the army's not as organized as it once was.  I'll be careful as always," she smiled again and felt a light breeze ruffled her short blond hair as she continued.

"Angelo Dante, Bowie Grant, Sean Philips, Marie Crystal and many others from my unit will also be coming with me too so you know, they'll keep me out of trouble. Don't worry, when I see my dad, I'll give him a big hug for you. I'm going to miss you, Uncle Rick. It will probably be a very long time again before I can come back here but I promise you that SHE will be with me. You can count on that..."

Slowly Dana got up and walked to where her hovertank was, after putting her helmet on, she turned back once again to look at Rick Hunter's grave beneath a willow tree whose leaves were swaying gracefully in the breeze as if waving goodbye to her.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw the field of the Flower of Life and quickly she turned on the engine and sped away into the sunset thinking of her trip tomorrow.

-----------

"Mom! Dad! I'm here, I'm finally here!" Dana yelled excitedly and ran across the landing deck of the SDF-3 like the Robotech Masters were chasing her.

She ran right into her mother's arms and held on for dear life. She didn't care that her behavior might be viewed as unbecoming of an officer. She didn't care at all because after almost fifteen years of being separated from her parents she was back with them again. She was home!

Being held in her mom's arms again after so long, she suddenly felt like a little girl instead of the capable young woman she had become. A woman, who had fought a war, won and learned the meaning of love but only to lose it in a blink of an eye.

Zor...

Miriya Sterling couldn't believe her eyes. `Is this young woman, holding on to her like a death grip really her baby, her Dana?' she thought silently to herself.

It's like holding a stranger yet it didn't feel like it either. She was bombarded with so many emotions all at once-- joy, sadness, apprehension, anxiety... that all she could do was hold on to her daughter and cried. The only words she could utter were, "Dana, Dana... my darling baby..."

I've missed you so much, my darling daughter. You were never forgotten, forgive me...

Too shock to react, Max Sterling could only stared and watched as his wife and daughter hugged each other, cried and then hugged each other again. His little girl had grown up and he wasn't around to see it. To him, she had remained forever a pretty little girl with a smile that could melt even the coldest heart of hearts, a quick temper when she didn't get her way, always getting into mischief and forever laughing.

Now a young woman who he does not know and does not recognize is quickly replacing that image.

Coming out of his shock, Max asked, "Dana?"

Letting go of her mother, Dana turned around and went right into her father's arms. "Daddy, daddy I've missed you." Max put his arms around her and tears of joy flowed from his eyes.

Still in her father's arms she glanced down and saw Aurora, her baby sister and when their eyes met they nodded in greetings. There was no need for an introduction for they had already met. In fact, if it had not been for Aurora's telepathic message to her when she was under the influence of the Flower of Life; she would have never worked up the courage to come to Tirol.

"Welcome on board the SDF-3, Lieutenant," someone said from behind her and Dana slowly turned. It had been so long since she heard that voice and had almost forgotten it. But now that she had heard it again, she could never forget it for there was only one person in the universe with that voice.

"Aunt Li..." she was just about to run into Lisa's arms when she suddenly realized who this person was and she executed a perfect salute that would have made all her instructors at the Academy proud.  

"Dana Sterling, first Lieutenant with the Fifteenth Alpha Tactical Armored Corps of the Army of the Southern Cross reporting, ma'am!"

Admiral Lisa Hayes, looking every inch as regal as a queen smiled warmly at the young woman saluting her. She opened her arms and said, "come here, you." Dana wasted no time in being held by her. `For you Uncle Rick,' she said quietly to herself as she let herself be absorbed in Lisa's presence, warmth and welcoming embrace.

------------

Five days after her and her friends had come onboard the SDF-3, Dana finally worked up the courage to share with her mother Rick Hunter's life and death, and most importantly, what she had found in his journal.

"Have you told your father yet?" Miriya asked after the initial shock had passed.

"No."

"He will need to know Dana. I will tell him. Your father is going to take Rick's death very hard for they had always been close. Your father had loved Rick Hunter like a brother and was very sad, disappointed and even angry when Rick resigned. They didn't speak for almost a year. Dana, you have to show Lisa, Rick's journal and give her his letter."

"I don't know mom, she left him," Dana said reluctantly and accusingly as she stared directly at her mother without flinching.

Miriya wondered if her Dana was talking about Lisa or about her and Max.

Oh, Dana, if your father and I had known how things were going to be, we would have never let you go. We loved you so much.

"Dana, love is such a strange emotion. Even after all this time with your father, I sometimes still get lost when it comes to understanding love between a man and a woman. It can be so overwhelming and wonderful yet at the same time heartbreaking and intimate. Whatever Rick and Lisa had between them is theirs alone."

Lost in memory, she continued. "You should have seen them, Dana. The both of them together always reminded me of two equally matched warriors battling to the death. The sad thing was they didn't need to kill each other to declare victory. Victory was always theirs."

As if remembering where she was, she reached over and touched Dana's face.

"It's not for you or me to judge them. I think you know what I mean, Dana. I see the pain that lurks in your eyes sometimes when you think no one is watching. I know because I've seen the same thing in Lisa's eyes everyday since we left Earth. Don't shake your head at me young lady, just know that when you are ready to talk and share your story with us, your father and I will be here. We love you so much, Dana. There hasn't been a day passed that we didn't think of you. Now go and find Lisa while I'm going to see your father," Miriya said and left her daughter.

------------

Holding Rick's journal in her right hand and hugging it to herself, she slow walked down the hall to Lisa's office.

`Am I doing the right thing?' she wondered and hoped so.

Uncle Rick, I wished you were here to let me know what I should do.

Walking into Lisa's office, she saw Lisa's adjutant and she asked if the Admiral was busy.

"Hello Lieutenant Sterling, the Admiral is just having lunch and going over some reports before a briefing at 1400. I'm sure she'll be more than happy to see you, please go on in, her door is open."

Dana thanked her. Took a deep breath and walked into Lisa's office. Lisa looked up from her reports and a beautiful smile broke across her face.

Dana saluted.

No wonder Uncle Rick loved her so... even after all this time she hadn't changed a bit.

Lisa Hayes was never pretty. Prettiness was ephemeral. It passes in a season. Lisa was beautiful at twenty and thirty. She was beautiful at fifty and Dana knew even at eighty she will be beautiful for her beauty came from her soul.

"At ease, Lieutenant and take a seat. Could I offer you some lunch, I'll get my aid to get you something," Lisa said without taking a breath at all.

"No, no thank you Admiral. Umm... the reason I came is to give you this."

Dana walked up to Lisa's desk and handed the journal to her. Lisa stood up from her chair to accept it but looked confused until she opened the journal and saw the name written there. She instantly paled and Dana could have swore Lisa looked like she was going to faint.

"Admiral, Uncle Rick, he... "

But Lisa cut her off. "Thank you, Lieutenant."

Dana knew she had been dismissed. She saluted and turned quickly to leave. As she stepped out of the Admiral's office and into the room where Lisa's adjutant was she glanced back again, and saw that Lisa was clutching the journal to her person like it was a lifeline.

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SPACE STATION orbiting Earth, night before the SDF-3 leaves for Tirol

THEN - Lisa's Story…

She knew he was on board the space station, have been for weeks now. She also knew that he had been trying to see her and she had been very successful in avoiding him (and have been for the last nine years) but here he was now-- in her quarters of all places!

She didn't need anything from here anymore everything she had wanted to take with her was already on board the SDF-3.Why had she come back for a last look?

In her most cold and commanding voice she had told him to leave. But he'd refused by reminding her happily that she was no longer his Commanding Officer and hadn't been in six years. His words had hurt her and she hoped it hadn't showed on her face. She was desperately trying to think of what to say to him to get him to leave. When she heard him say "Lisa, if you'll hear me out, I promise to leave as soon as I finished."

Could she trust him? What choices did she have unless she called security and have him physically removed... No! Imagine what the rumors would say then.

She groaned inwardly and reluctantly she agreed.

`Okay Rick, say what's on your mind and leave. Don't you know that just seeing you and being in the same room with you hurts so much? Please don't tell me Minmei's pregnant and you want me to be the godmother!'

"I tried to come after you, that day when you came to my place and Khyron attacked out of the blue but Minmei was there and I couldn't leave her unprotected. She needed me. I know it's a poor excuse now but at that time, it felt right. I'm just so sorry that I couldn't get there in time, maybe if I did, I could have done something and Captain Glove, Claudia and... you know, they would still be here today."

What? What did he just said?

She tuned back to listen to him and she could hear the pain in his voice as he pushed on.

"I tried many times afterward to come to you when I found out that you were alive, to find out if you needed me, to let you know how I feel; but each time you ignored me and shut me out as if I didn't mattered at all. You treated me like I was just another junior officer under your command, like we weren't even friends! You were always too busy to see or talk to me and after a while, I stopped chasing after you. Do you know how frustrating and hurt I was when I resigned and you acted like you didn't even notice or cared?"

She could hear the anger and frustration in his voice now and had wanted to stop him but he wouldn't let her as he continued.

"Then I started hearing all these gossips about you and this Commander Berir*.  Just because I'm no longer in the service doesn't mean I don't have ears. Was he the reason why you didn't even bother to come to my wedding? Did you ever love me, Lisa? Was your declaration that day a lie?"

This last question of his threw her off balance. She had been prepared for his anger, his tantrum, accusation and self pity but not his pain.

`Why now Rick, it's too late!' she silently cried to herself.

"Are you going to answer me?" he asked and it wasn't until she felt his hands on her that she came out of her thoughts so sudden that she snapped at him. "Let go of me Rick! Go away!"

"Talk to me Lisa!" he yelled in response to her outburst.

"What more do you want from me? Haven't I given you everything you asked for?" she answered softly in anger and confusion as her green eyes finally meet his blue ones. "You choose Minmei so I stepped out of the way. You wanted to be free so I accepted your resignation. You wanted to be happy so I gave you that happiness by removing myself from your life. And you have to gull to question if I ever loved you?!" she cried in anger and quickly shook herself free from his hold.

Oh my God, he's got to leave now before I lose it!

She screamed but the only sound that came out was "Get out!" and she walked away to stand near the window, away from him.  Her move was a tactical ploy to put as much distance physically and emotionally as she could from him. His nearness was driving her crazy.

"What?" he looked perplexed then rushed to her side again with a determined look on his face.

"I choose Minmei? No I didn't. You did, Lisa!" he continued not letting her stop him.

`What is he talking about?' She thought not quiet sure believing what she had just heard.

"I had to get her to safety but I came back for you!" She turned wide eyes on him. He looked as though he had been struck a bitter bow. The agony on his face mirrored what she was feeling inside her heart.

"Didn't you even hear me at all, Lisa? By the time I got air born the attacked was already over, both of the SDFs were destroyed along with Khyron's ship and you... I thought you were dead. I nearly went mad. Don't you know how much you mean to me? Despite what it seemed like it was YOU, always you, Lisa."

Her knees felt like they were about to buckle. She fought tears, fought them valiantly, fought and lost, for before she could help herself, hot tears rolled down her cheeks. "Stop... please stop," she whispered, her head bent, defeated.

She had missed him so much. At the beginning she had been able to bury him into her shock and grief over the lost of her friends but as the years passed, she found it harder and harder to remove him from her heart and mind. The only defense she had was to pretend like Minmei, as if nothing had happened therefore she ignored him and acted as if she had never gone to his place or confessed her love for him.

When he had resigned, it was both a curse and a blessing for her.  For now she did not have to watch him go home everyday to the arms of Minmei. But she had missed him so much that on a couple of her days off; she had sneaked to some of Minmei's concert just to see him and watch him from a far.

When she had received his wedding invitation, she knew Rick was lost to her just as much as if he had died like Karl Riber.  She was glad she was on her way to the space station to oversee the construction of the SDF-3; or she would have made a fool of herself again by going to him and throwing herself at him as a last ditch to make him notice her.

Funny how when you least expect it, things and events happened because as soon as she had arrived on the space station, she'd met Command Kahl Berir, a tall gorgeous, blond, green-eyed micronized Zentraedi male who claimed to be in love with her, and have been since he'd first seen her-- when she, Rick and Ben were captured by Breetai's forces years ago.

She was shocked at first and then flattered by his attention for he was handsome, intelligent and he made her laughed. Working with him had made the pain of losing Rick bearable so she encouraged him, and ended up spending the night with him on Rick's wedding night. She had no regrets being with Kahl and she still enjoyed spending time with him for they complement each other very well.

However since that night, she had come to realized that she was hopelessly in love with Rick Hunter and will probably be until her dying days. She had told Kahl of course, for they had always been honest with each other. She had expected him to be angry but he had simply told her that he didn't care. He was a patient man and would settle for whatever she could give him until she was ready.

Now having Rick, the love of her life here, so near, so unbearably close, and to hear him say that he had thought of her; that he had tried to come for her, and that he cared for her was slowly melting her resolution to remain cold and impassionate.

Why now? It's too late. It's not fair!

She took a deep breath and was about to tell him to leave when he reached for her again and drew her into his arms, holding her tightly, desperately and recklessly. She resisted it at first but his warmth and presence worked its way into her heart, melting any and all resistance. She simply loved him too much to deny him anything and slowly she relaxed.

Being held this way in his arms, she felt so secured and at peace with everything life had to offer. He was making her forget everything else-- her mission to Tirol, Commander Berir, her duties and responsibilities-- but the knowledge that she's in the arms of the man she loved.

No!... no, I can't do this. It's wrong!

She stiffen and he must have been thinking the same thing too because he slowly loosen his arms around her. She had blushed awkwardly as she stepped away from him, trying to find the right words to send him away before she loses her heart to him all over again-- if she ever got it back in the first place.

"I think you should go, Rick..."

But he stopped her by grabbing a hold of her right hand and brushed a kiss on the top of her silky head. "Tell me you don't love me, Lisa. Look at me and say it."

She'd heard the loneliness in his voice and her heart ached.

How can I, Rick? Don't you know that I love you?  I will always love you no matter what.

She should have never looked down because that's when she saw her hand-- join, intertwined and still held by his hand. How right it is, she'd thought, memorized by the feel and texture of their hands together. Then she felt it-- the moment his gaze fell upon their hands and she knew as clear as day that there was no turning back for either of them.

"You felt it, too. I know you did, Lisa," she heard him whispered to her as he buried his face in her hair. "I love you..." He whispered the words she'd waited a lifetime to hear. Then he kissed her.

His kisses-- they were hot, passionate, melting and full of love. They left her dying and wanting more, craving more and she kissed him back then. She kissed him back with all the longings and passion she had kept locked away for so long. She kissed him like she had never kissed another man before him. She kissed him like there was no tomorrow only tonight, right here and right now. She kissed him like her life depended on it.

"Till my dying days, I will love only you, Lisa..." she heard him vowed and she forgot everything else but him and the happiness that was spreading through her body and soul.

"I love you Rick, I always have and I always will," she whispered afterward as they feel asleep in each other's arms.

Her last thought had been. 'This is where I belonged.'

------

When she had awoken she knew exactly where she was and who she was with-- Rick Hunter! Looking at the time, she knew she would have to leave very soon or she will never be able to leave at all.

She slowly and carefully, entangled herself from his body, his warmth and his love.

Up now, she turned back to stare at him, memorized everything about him to memory. Reached for her clothes she slowly and silently got dressed. Tears were flowing freely by the time she finished composing the note she would leave for him. She knew she was a coward to leave like this but she also knew that it was the only way.

Fighting the urge to go back and kiss him good-bye one last time she made herself walked out without looking back for a last look.

--------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER TWO

In the fifteen years that Lisa Hayes had left Rick Hunter sleeping peacefully in her quarters on board the space station orbiting Earth, there hasn't been a day that passed and she hadn't thought of him. She'd lied to him of course in her note. She was not in love with Commander Berir, she never had and she never will but she did care for him though.

Through the years they had become good friends and she had kept it at that because she could not hurt him. She knew he wouldn't have cared if she could give him her whole heart or not because he loved her either way but she couldn't-- not after she had known the full happiness of Rick's love.

Rick, Rick... my love. She smiled to herself.

Tears of lost and joy blurred her vision as she opened his journal again.  With her fingers she traced his name inside the cover of the journal lovingly as if she was tracing the lines and contours of his face.

How I've missed you.

When Dana and her crew had showed up out of the blue, she had hoped that Rick was with them. Her heart had beat with anticipation and excitement while her body had strung tight like an arrow about to be shot into the air. When she realized that he was not with them, she had tried so hard not to let her sadness spoil Miriya and Max's joy at having Dana with them again.

And in the couple of days afterward when all the briefings and news about how Earth had defeated the Robotech Masters and the impending invasion of the Invid have been dispensed, discussed and talked about; she had to stop herself literally a hundred times a day from going to Dana and begged her for news of Rick.

She was so hungry for any news of him that last night she had made up her mind to talk to Miriya after work today to see if Dana had mentioned anything about Rick to Max. Thank God, Dana showed up today and had saved her the embarrassing trip.

She smiled again and felt like a child who had just been given all her favorite candies in the whole wide world.

Turning to the next page she saw an enveloped addressed to her stuck between the blinds of the journal. Excited and anxious at the same time, she opened her desk drawer and took out her envelope opener.

Slowly and cautiously she opened it and taking a deep breath she began reading, her heart thumping.

Lisa,

It seemed I'm always a day late, a dollar short when it comes to you. You were never second best and if anything I've done or said have made you feel that way, I apologize. If the truth be told, it was I who was unworthy of you. I wish I was a stronger, better man so I can do the right thing-- give you up but I cannot. You are in my heart to stay, Lisa.

You know, I'm not very good at this sort of things so here goes... Do you know how much I've missed you? Not a minute passed that I don't think of you and wonder what you are doing.

Every night I stare up into the night sky and you know what I see? I see you, your smile, your eyes and your soul shining down on me.

Don't beat yourself up for leaving me that note. I knew everything written on it was a lie and I knew why you did it too.

Lisa, by the time you read this letter know that I am no longer living.

"No!" she cried and immediately her adjutant came running to her door.

"Admiral, is everything alright?"

Controlling her voice and focusing her thoughts she replied, "Yes everything is fine Lieutenant. Reschedule the briefing at 1400 for tomorrow at 0900."

"Admiral?"

"That's an order, Lieutenant!"

She quickly pressed a button at her desk, shutting her door-- indicating that she did not want to be disturbed for anything except a full-fledge war.

Turning her attention back to Rick's letter, she began reading again this time without any feelings at all. She felt dead and empty inside but like everything else in her life that she had done, she rose to the challenged of remaining calm and focused so she can finish it.

And Dana has managed to find you. I always knew that kid of Max's was special. She's something else, Lisa. Just watch her and get to know her, you'll understand what I mean.

Max and Miriya... how I missed flying with them; watch over them as you have always watched over me, Lisa. They were and will always be your greatest allies and friends.

Don't cry, Lisa. Hey, is that any way to greet me after all this time? Knowing you, you're probably demanding a report how I got myself into this mess.

Well, Admiral, it's like this...

You know how much I love flying... well that kind of explained it all. I got careless, was showing off as usual, only now I didn't have you to watch over me.

Do you think of me Lisa? Can you ever forgive me for all the pains I've caused you?

What I wouldn't give to live my life with you, to fight with you, to piss you off and to tease you silly until you blushed. What I wouldn't give to see you smile everyday. To watch your eyes shine like emeralds every night and to hold you all thought our life.

Do you know what kept me going after you left? The possibility that somewhere out there, in another time, another place we are living that life, together.

You don't know how much I regret not coming after you right away when you left my place that day. I was such a fool, an idiot, a jerk, Lisa. I knew, I've always know ever since the Mars incident that I had feelings for you. But I never stopped to think about them because then it would require me to grow up, to face reality and I was too self absorbed to do so.

Roy, Claudia and then Max had knew and they tried to tell me but I ignored them, and you, you never gave up on me until I broke your heart. Don't cry for me, Lisa. Smile for I can never stand to see a beautiful lady cry, especially when she's mine.

I think in a way, Minmei and I deserved each other. The only difference between us is that I was lucky enough to have you to show me what I could be. Poor Minmei, she had no one. I have never regretted our one true night together, Lisa. I hope you don't either. Just know that I will be here waiting to welcome you home where you belong when your mission is over.

Until then, remember, I love you sourpuss.

Rick Hunter

"Rick, Rick," Lisa cried as she finished reading his letter, unable to control the emotions of rage and unfairness that was pumping through her system at the moment, and she banged her fisted hand on her desk, over and over again.

How could you leave without me? Don't you know that as long as I knew you were there, I had a reason, a purpose to finish my mission; to make this galaxy a better place for you, for us and now...

Putting her head down on her desk, she sobbed until there were no tears left but a dull aching pain in her heart and her eyes, they burned like hot coals. Her head hurt like somebody was hammering away inside and she suddenly felt cold, very cold. She rubbed her hands on her arms as fast as she could, trying to get warm but she knew she would never be able to feel warm again without Rick.

She wondered what time it was and looked at the time on her desk. It read 1630. She hoped her adjutant had left already because right now she did not feel like seeing or dealing with anyone at all. She just wanted to crawl into bed and... Rick's journal!

She brought it up to herself again and hugged it.

Yes, I'll get cleaned up, go to my quarters and read his journal. He hadn't really left me after all. He was here, still with me.

With that thought, she got up from her desk and carried the journal to where her carrying case was, opened it, and then slipped the journal carefully inside. She then let herself into the restroom attached to her office and went on the business of making herself presentable.

------------

ON BOARD the Battle Cruiser the Explorer...

Dear Captain Berir,

Greetings! It has been a while since Max and I have had the pleasure of your company. If I remember correctly, the last time you were here was six months after our daughter, Dana had come from Earth.

I know having a command of your own can keep one very busy but three years is a very long time to spend away from those you love. Hope to see you soon.

Sincerely,

Miriya Sterling, Captain

Reading the letter, Kahl Berir scowled. `What a strange letter? What is Miriya Parino trying to tell him?'

He'd forgotten again, 'Miriya Sterling' she had taken her mate's last name when she married him some twenty years ago. He should have remembered but old habits die hard. He and Miriya Parino, they go way back as rivalries and warriors who had always respected each other's skills and kills.

Lisa! He knew it. This letter was definitely about her.

`Was she in trouble? No, if she were in serious trouble, Miriya would have said something to that effect'.

Nevertheless Miriya's letter had disturbed him and he knew he must go back, only if to ease his worries about Lisa. Although he doesn't know how she was going to receive him. The last time they've seen each other, she had told him to leave and never returned. He knew she hadn't meant it. But at that time he had been so angry at her himself that he took her words to heart and haven't been back since.

That was almost three years ago right after Lord Breetai had given him the command of his own ship.

'Stubborn woman!' he said to himself as he gave order to his second in command to prepare the ship for a trip back to Tirol.

-----------------

"So you received my letter, Captain," said Miriya as he disembarked from his ship. She quickly looped her arm around his and led him away towards her and Max's private quarters.

He gave her a puzzle looked but remained silent and listened to her talk. She talked pleasantly about the progress of the reconstruction on Tirol as well as Dr. Lang's continued success in stabilizing the new fold system that would be used to take the SDF-3 back to Earth.

"We're all hoping we'll arrive there in time to help stop the Invid. Dr. Lang figures with the time distortion, we should be okay..."

However as soon as they entered her and Max's private quarters, her tone changed and she began pacing the room.

"She is so stubborn sometimes and so unreasonable when it comes to taking care of herself that I'm worried about her. I'm sorry to have pulled you away from your duty Captain but I'm at my wits end. I didn't know what else to do. She sometimes spoke of you with respect and affection and I though maybe you might be able to help."

Miriya didn't need to explain who 'she' was to him for they both knew who Miriya is referring to.

"Physically she seemed fine, she has lost some weight though but no one really noticed unless they know her personally. I just know there is something wrong with her. She never goes out now except for official business functions that required her appearance and she hardly talks to me or Max anymore about anything other than work related subjects."

Massaging her right temple as if she had a headache, Miriya continued. "On her days off, she either works or locks herself in her quarters and reads that dam journal of Rick that Dana brought with her when she came here. I regret it now of advising Dana to give it to her."

"When did Lieutenant Sterling give the Admiral the journal?" he asked suddenly suspicious.

"Five days after she got here," Miriya answered as she stopped pacing.

He knew it! And three days after, she told me to leave and never return. Dammed you, Lisa! When are you going to let him go?

"Why?" Miriya asked.

"Captain Parino, I am grateful and indebted to you for caring about Lisa," he said and noticed Miriya's raised eyebrow at him using Lisa's name. He knew no one but very few of her closest and most intimate friends addressed her by her given name; to everyone else she was simply `Admiral' or `Admiral Hayes'.

"I have never shared my feelings for Lisa or what our relationship was to anyone else before. Captain, I'm in love with her. In human terms, you could say, I feel in love with her on first sight. 'Love at first sight' I think that's the correct saying," he said as if not seeing the shock expression on Miriya face.

"When I feel in love with her she was still Commander Lisa Hayes, First Officer of the SDF-1 and a captive of Lord Breetai. I on the other hand, was just a solider who's only goal was to fight, win and fight again the next day. I had no future, no ambition and no desire to do anything else. It was because of her that I am the man I am today," he said as he walked to the window and stared down at Tirol.

"Lisa is aware of my feelings of course and I of hers. She is in love with a human male named Rick Hunter. He used to be a pilot. I think he was one of the two males with her when she was taken captive. She believes Hunter is her soul mate that even if he is married to another woman she can not love anyone else. I have no alternatives but to accept her choice. I have become her friend because she wished it but I can not stop loving her," he said sadly.

Miriya waited until he finished. She waited and became lost in her own thoughts because she didn't know how to comfort him. She didn't know what she could say to him or how to make the situation better.

Poor Lisa, Rick and Captain Berir, what pains and sufferings they have to face every day. How do they do it?

As battle-harden and strong as she is at that moment she felt like crying and she had never appreciated Max's love for her more than today.  How lucky she was to have someone to share her life with while people she knew and cared about were going through life with so much pain. She had guessed that Captain Berir might have feelings for Lisa but she had never dreamed that his feelings would be this strong or this complete. 

How can she help them?

"Captain Berir, Rick Hunter died about six years ago..."

"What? I have to go. Thank you Captain Parino," he interrupted before she could even finish and was out the door already.

-----------

`What is that buzzing noise?' Lisa asked herself, annoyed, irritated and pissed at the same time as she struggled to open her eyes. Slowly she realized that the noise was somebody knocking on her door.

`Am I late for work? No...Today is my day off and so is tomorrow. Whoever it is, they'll go away,' she said to herself and closed her eyes again. She knew if it was an emergency, her aid would have called on her private line.

But the buzzing kept buzzing and buzzing until she couldn't ignore it any longer.

"Go away!" she screamed but it came out in a whispered.

Slowly, she got out of bed and walked down the hall that separated her sleeping quarter from her living quarter to the front door, yawing all the while. She pressed her palm on the lighted square and her door opened. Light so bright poured into her dark room, blinding her.

Quickly placing a hand over eyes, she said in a horsed voice "whoever you are, it better be a life and death emergency or it will be you in the emergency room!"

"Lisa."

She tensed and he could see her changed right before his eyes from a simple bed-ragged, sleepy woman to the Admiral whose posture and stand commanded respect, attention and discipline. Moving back into her dark room she asked "when did you get back, Captain? The Explorer was not scheduled to be back until another two years. Is there something wrong?"

Without answering her, he stepped into the dark room and the door automatically closed behind him. He reached for the light panel next to the door and manually turned up the lights but she verbally dimmed it down to sixty percent.

Adjusting his sight to the dim room he noticed her standing at the far end of the room staring at him, annoyed but waiting patiently for his reply. Looking at her, he can't believe how much she had changed and yet remained the same since the last time he'd seen her.

How he'd missed her. Yes, Miriya was right, she had lost some weight and she did look very tired.

Yet she still has the power to take his break away. Her hair -- longer than he had realized had never looked more inviting to him as it did at this very moment; her eyes-- brilliant and as green as ever but puffy and swollen as if she'd been crying.

As he moved closer to her however he could smell a faint alcohol smell.

She'd been crying and drinking herself to sleep. He knew and his heart grew heavy.

Why do you torture yourself this way, Lisa? I could make you happy. I could make you forget him, I know I can. Why wouldn't you let me love you?

"Yes there is a problem," he said as he stood just inches from her. He could feel warmth radiating from her. He could see the slight tremble of her lip, a sign of her vulnerability and sensuality. How he wanted to reach out and pull her into his arms but he knew she would not permit it. She hadn't given him permission to touch her as a lover would since they left Earth fifteen years ago.  So his hands remained at his side.

"You, you're the problem why I'm back."

She moved away from him and in a cold voice she said, "Captain, I meant what I said the last time we had this conversation."

"Why didn't you tell me that he's dead, Lisa?" he asked softly.

"Because he is not," she replied. "Rick is always with me and he'll be waiting for me when my mission here is complete."

"I don't understand..." he said but she spoke as if not hearing him at all.

"Captain Berir, you said that you're in love with me. If that's true then you should know how I feel about Rick.  I'm in love with him just like you are in love with me.  We can't help the way how we feel and we can't choose who we love.  It's just how it is.  There is no problem here, Captain. If you truly love me, Kahl, then I want you to let me go."

"Let you go? Go where?" he asked in confusion.

She smiled. It was a smile he had never seen before from her and for the first time, he felt as if he didn't know her at all. Which was odd because they had been lovers once, if briefly and have remained good friends these passed fifteen years. He had seen the many ups and downs of her person that he didn't think there was anything else about her that could surprise him.

But surprised him she had and he felt uneasy. He was a man trained, because of his love for her to logic, science, truth and reason. She had been the only thing in his life so far that he couldn't quiet grasped and had loved her for it. But he had always known that she would eventually fall into line too for Lisa and him, they were two of a kind.  He just had to be patient, give her time however at this moment, he's not so sure anymore if she'll ever be his.

"Anywhere, does it really matter?" she continued in that mysterious tone of hers that continued to leave him lost and confused. "I know you don't understand but it's okay because life doesn't always have to make sense. Sometimes it turns out and sometimes it just doesn't no matter how much you want it to."

Walking up to him, she reached up to caress his face with her fingertips. Her touch sent electric shots through him and he sighed softly.

"Lisa..."

She didn't want to feel his loneliness, his greatness, his incredible will and drive but she did feel it. She could feel his heart, his soul, his mind and she swallowed the burning tears.

I'm so sorry… maybe another time, another place… if there was no Rick Hunter I could have loved you.

"Captain, I want you to enjoy your stay here and make sure you have enough supplies for your crew. Thank you for coming to check up on me but I'm fine. I will always think of you Kahl. I will remember you for being there for me at my lowest point. But mostly for loving me when I thought no one else did," she said as she tipped toe and kissed him gently on the check.

She then turned and walked toward her sleeping quarter. "Please, take care of yourself," she said as she stepped into her sleeping quarter and the door closed behind her.

He stared at the closed door and his hand reached up to touch his face where she had kissed him.

Why does it feel like she was saying good-bye to me, forever?

Confused but resolved to obey her wishes he took one look around her quarters again before leaving when a realization suddenly dawned on him that this would be the last time he would ever see Lisa again. He knew that the next time if they met again it would be only as Admiral and Captain.

-------

In her sleeping quarter, Lisa Hayes opened Rick Hunter's journal again and began writing. She had started writing her own entries in it after she had finished reading all of his six days after Dana had given it to her almost five years ago.

Her entries had taken after Rick's: events, places and people as well as thoughts and comments that she'd found amusing or particularly interesting.

In all of his entries Rick had opened with...'Lisa you wouldn't believe what happen today or Lisa, guess what I did, etc.'   So hers had been 'Rick, can you believe this or Rick, did you know, etc.'

Writing in his journal had helped her to keep going, keep fighting to make their dream a reality-- bring peace to Earth. More importantly it had kept her in control of her sanity and the little habits that she can't quiet keep at bay when she's alone like missing him, feeling sorry for herself and this loneliness that never leaves no matter what she did.

`The rumors flew

But nobody knew

How much she blamed herself

For years and years

She tried to hid the whisky on her breath

She finally drank her pain away

A little at a time

But she never could get drunk enough

To get him off her mind

Until the night she put the bottle to her head and pulled the trigger

And finally drank away his memory

Life is short but this time it was bigger

Than the strength she had to get up off her knees

We found her with her face down in the pillow

Clinging to his picture for dear life

We laid her next to him beneath the willow

While the angles sang a whisky lullaby'

--------------------------------------------------

FORTY-FIVE YEARS Later on Earth...

"Uncle Rick I brought her back like I promised you I would," Dana said as she finished planting some flowers around Lisa's grave.

She heard a loud happy laugh in the air and looking up she could see Lisa, her five-year-old granddaughter with wavy dark green hair and blue eyes chasing after a butterfly while her son, Max Hunter Dante looked on with an amused smile on his face.

"Sorry it took me so long but I couldn't come back here without completing what she had started. She wouldn't want me to either. You know how stubborn she can be when it comes to accomplishing a mission. You would have been so proud of her, Uncle Rick, she made peace attainable for all of us and she never gave up."

Dana continued talking.

"Dad would have wanted to be here today. He missed you. He talked about you all the time towards the end. He was happy, Uncle Rick. He died surrounded by family and friends who loved and still misses him everyday. Mom, she's doing well but she misses him very much and Aunt Lisa. She had wanted to bury Aunt Lisa there on Tirol with dad and with her someday for they had spent most of their lives there working endlessly to secure peace for all of us. But she knew you would be pissed not to mention Aunt Lisa so she reluctantly agreed for me to bring her back."

Dana smiled as she remember the disagreement she had with her mother three years ago about where to bury Lisa when she had died silently in her sleep two weeks after all the worlds in the known galaxy had signed an agreement to work together on exploring the known Universe instead of fighting to control it.

Many of the leaders of the Sentinel worlds had expressed shock and horror at Dana's insistent on having the Admiral's body stored away so she could be buried on Earth. They had felt that she should be buried on one of their worlds because she had belonged to them as much as Earth. Dana knew it was a great honor they were paying to Lisa but she knew Lisa would not have wanted it. It was Lisa's final entry in Rick's journal and Aurora's influenced in the Senate Council that had finally silenced the protests.

Funny how it was she who had first brought this old journal of Rick to Lisa in outer space ages ago and it was her now again bringing it back to Earth.

The Earth Space Robotech Museum had pleaded with her to let them have it when they found out that she had a journal that contained the personal writings of two of Earth's most celebrated heroes. She had said `no' when they had first approached her but now maybe she will.

People like Rick Hunter, Lisa Hayes and her parents were slowly disappearing. Many people today saw them as heroes, legends and even myths but to her they were families who had loved, fought and lived life to the fullest. They were individuals with private lives and private hells as well as heavens.  Yet each in their own way had raised to the challenge of put others first before their own needs and desires.

She hoped someday that her children and their children's children will remember her in the same way.

"Grandma, grandma," she heard Lisa called and she waved back.

`Yes', she told herself, `I will give the journal to the museum for Rick Hunter and Lisa Hayes belonged to the Universe now not just her.'

With that decision made, Admiral Dana Sterling-Dante rose, dusted the dirty from her pant and began walking to where her son and granddaughter were. This time she did not turn back to look at the two graves beneath the willow tree for she knew they were together now for they had finally come home to each other.

The End

Note:

*Commander Kahl Berir is a character from Broken Promises and New Ones (fan fiction) by Jo at Carla Fox's website: DYRL Fanfic Lovers  <http:www.fanfics.cl/dyrl/> After reading Jo's story, I really like him and decided to mention him in my story. Thank you (pays homage to) Jo, Carla and Sphersian!

Song by Brad Paisley featuring Alison Krauss Whiskey Lullaby