Magic Knight Rayearth Fan Fiction ❯ The Wacked-Out Romeo and Juilet Story ❯ One-Shot

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

SUMMARY: Asmi, A/U; After she left him, his world fell apart. Now, eight years later,
he finally finds the solace he so desperately needs. But what consequences will his
actions have on the one who had originally shattered his heart? Inspired by the song
“Whiskey Lullaby”.

ANOTHER NOTE: Az came up with the title, so I had to use it! Why? Because when I was still considering staying on FF.net I had to change the title to post. And I didn't want to risk anything here so I kept it.

WARNING: This songfic deals with alcoholism and suicide. Please do not read if you
find these topics offending.

disclaimer:
Magic Knight Rayearth © CLAMP.
"Whiskey Lullaby" © Brad Paisley and Allison Krauss
Jack Daniels Whiskey © Jack Daniels brewery

~~~
The Wacked-Out Romeo and Juliet Story
(Whiskey Lullaby)
~~~

The time was around 11:30 PM. The living room of his small apartment was
littered with different odds and ends, but mostly bottles of Jack Daniels. The room
reeked of alcohol, and there was a musty air to it.
In a darkened corner of the room sat a tall man. He was slouched in the corner,
and at first sight one would wonder if he was alive or not. His hand was loosely holding
the neck of another Jack Daniels bottle. The alcohol was leaking out of the bottle and
onto the floor around him.

She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart
He spent his whole life tryin' to forget

He looked up from the shadows, and he looked at a picture on the end table next
to the sofa. The picture had been taken a few years ago - before she left. It had been
taken back when she was home, and he was happy.
The shot was a photo of a young, happy couple. The man looked around
twenty-one, and the girl could only be nineteen. The man was tall, with brown hair. His
bangs covered his eyes. He was wearing a forest green beanie, black cargoes that were
more than baggy, a green T-shirt, and a white long-sleeved shirt under that. The girl
barely came up to his chin. Her hair was long, sky blue, and looked aquatic. Her eyes
were a deep cerulean that would make any person think of a midnight ocean. She wore a
blue headband, a blue skirt, a white tank top, black tights, and ankle-high, blue boots.
They looked happy - like nothing could separate them.
Until she left.
That had been eight years ago. The twenty-one-year-old animal shelter volunteer
was now a twenty-nine-year-old alcoholic who worked as a fish packer. He had no idea
where she was now. He had tried to find her, but he never could. After a year he had
given up hope.

We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until the night

He had spent the remaining seven years doing his best to move on. He wanted so
desperately to forget her, yet at the same time he knew he couldn't. If he admitted she
was gone, than he would be admitting the end of his life. And this was something he
could not - would not - do.
His days were dull, and they had become very homogeneous. He would wake up
around noon, shower, go work at the docks, come home at five, and drink. He would
pass out in his corner around eleven, and he would sleep until noon before repeating the
process all over again.
When she left, she had taken his better half with him. Now he was nothing. He
was robotic - living, and yet dead. The numbness of his life had shocked his old friends.
His sister used to visit every day, but now she had strayed away. She had married a
military man - if he could remember correctly, a marine - and had settled down. She
traveled the globe along with her husband, and came back every other Christmas.
Tomorrow was Christmas - the day his world had shattered. The day his love had left
him.
He stood and walked over to the mirror above the fireplace. He looked at himself.
He seemed to himself nothing more than an empty shell - a fragment of what once was.
His hair was a mess, and his bangs were spaced so far out his emerald eyes were visible.
His skin had become frighteningly pale. He had lost too much weight - he could feel and
see his bones. His skin felt like excess clothing.
"Why did you leave?" he asked. "Why did you leave me? Why did you leave our
life and our friends? We were happy, weren't we? Umi...I need you back. I can't go on
like this - you know I can't. I need you..."
He didn’t know how long he stood there. He allowed the tears to fall from his
eyes - his open admission of the end. He finally trudged over to the desk by his door. He
sat down and grabbed a pen and a piece of paper. He wrote down a quick note before
pulling out a key and opening the top left drawer. He pulled out a small pistol, and he
slammed the drawer shut. Grabbing another bottle of whiskey, he walked listlessly back
to his bedroom.

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory

He collapsed on the bed and looked at the ceiling. He placed the note on the
pillow and threw the gun at the wall. The weapon bounced off the wall and fell next to
the note. He unscrewed the bottle cap and took a deep swig of the honey-toned beverage.
He brought the bottle down and picked up the gun.
He looked at the shiny silver for what seemed like hours. It reflected beautifully
the pale moonlight that crept in through his closed drapes. The dim light reminded him
of her - reminded him of how pale her skin was, and how ethereal it looked in the
moonlight. He let loose a strangled cry and lifted the gun to his head. He took a final
swig of the liquor before bringing his finger tight about the trigger.
He smiled bitterly as the dancing lights of the gun dimmed into nothingness.

Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees

The flight to Tokyo International from Raleigh, North Carolina seemed longer this
year. This was how it seemed to Caldina, at least.
She had arrived at the airport around 8:00 AM for her 10:00 AM flight. There
was the usual waiting, but the flight had been delayed because of a storm. The delay only
lasted an hour, but it was still a delay. The plane had been flying for about ten hours, and
Caldina was growing tired. More importantly, she was worried about her brother.
He had steadily been growing worse since his girlfriend left. Caldina never got
the whole story behind her leaving, but the consequences remained nonetheless. Ascot
had took up drinking, he had lost his job at the animal shelter, and he hardly ever left the
house. During her last visit, two years ago, she had only seen her brother once. Better
yet, he only let her in his apartment once. The visit was very short - only lasting about an
hour. She had left quietly; simply advising her drunkard of a brother to seek help.
“This can’t be healthy, Ascot,” she had said. “And I hate to see my baby brother
like this. She’s gone, and she’s not coming back. Please, Ascot, move on - for me, if
nothing else. Move on for me.”
She found herself rattled out of her thoughts when a voice came over the P.A.
telling the passengers to fasten their safety belts. She did so, yet she found herself
looking around in confusion. She briefly wondered if she had dozed off during the long
flight.
Shrugging, she quietly waited for the captain to give them the ok to leave. She
looked out the window; at the snow that was falling down. It stuck to the ground and
gave the area a heavenly look. She wondered if Ascot even knew it was snowing.
“Please, Ascot,” she whispered desperately, “Please be ok...”

We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I’ll love her til I die

His apartment was about an hour’s drive away from Tokyo International, so the
first thing Caldina did after retrieving her suitcase was hail a cab. An intense feeling of
dread had been growing in Caldina’s stomach since touch-down, and she suddenly found
herself wondering if she would go through with the visit. Any doubt intensified tenfold
when the cabby pulled up to the shabby building, and if possible it increased even more
when she saw the darkened window.
She paid the driver and grabbed her bag. She quickly left the cab and entered the
building; heading straight for the elevator. She made the trek to his apartment on the fifth
floor, and once there knocked on the door.
For a long time there was no answer. She knocked again.
“Ascot?” she called loudly. “It’s Caldina. Are you home? Ascot?”
He still didn’t answer. She fought back tears and shouted even louder, “I know
you’re here, Ascot! You’ve finished work by now and you never go anywhere! Open the
damned door! Ascot!!”
She slammed her fist on the door and jumped back when it creaked open. She
watched in shock as it slid past the frame and lightly banged against the adjacent wall.
Her eyes widened at the darkness, and she found it difficult to enter the dank place. She
finally grabbed her suitcase and entered. She flicked the light-switch on to find the bulb
busted. She cursed as she dug around for her emergency flashlight. Living in a place
where severe thunderstorms are frequent, Caldina had found it convenient to place a
working flashlight with extra batteries in her purse.
When she got the light on, she let loose an involuntary gasp. The place was in
shambles. She couldn’t find the floor under the bottles - save for a small semi-circle in
the right corner of the room. The drapes were pulled shut across the patio doors. She
noticed a slight mess at the table to her side, and that a path leading to the back hall had
been somewhat cleared.
“Ascot?” she called loudly. She closed the door and headed to the back bedroom.
She let loose a scream at what she saw.
“Ascot, no!” she screamed. She ran over to the corpse; furiously shaking it -
hoping for any response. “You bastard! You fuckin’ bastard!”
She collapsed against the corpse. Warm, salty tears leaked out of her eyes. Her
hands fisted in his shirt; still trying to futilely shake him. She muttered ‘wake up’ over
and over again, yet she knew he was gone. After at least three hours, but what seemed
like a lot less, she sat up and looked at him. She bit her lip at the content look on his face.
She reached up to brush his bangs away, and when her hand traveled to the side of his
head she found a note. She picked up the crinkled paper and read.
“To whoever finds me, more or so likely my sister Caldina,” she read quietly,
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t carry on - you were right, sis. This is no life. I loved her til the
end, and my only regret is losing her. You understand, right?”
She choked on a sob and looked at him. Her face twisted in pain and sorrow; an
ugly comparison to his peaceful, drained face.
“No, Ascot,” she muttered. “I don’t.”

And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

A few weeks later, a small group was gathered around the weeping willow in the
local cemetery. Caldina stood with her husband before everyone. She looked at the
simple black casket and bit her lower lip. She fought back tears as her mind went over
the past events.
She had called her husband about an hour after she had regained her composure.
He told her he would arrive as soon as he was able. He was able to get emergency leave
time and was in Japan after two weeks. Caldina had already organized everything. The
traditional small shrine was being erected in a cemetery a few blocks away, and the body
had already been dealt with.
Now, three weeks later, they stood outside the small shrine. The grave diggers
were placing the casket inside the stone structure as the heavens opened up and pelted the
watchers with rain. Caldina looked at the casket and bit back a sob.
“I hope you’re happy, baby brother,” she whispered. She once again leaned
against her husband for the much-needed support of his strong frame. “Take me home,
Lafarga. Onegai - take me home.”
He nodded and led her away from the small cemetery. He placed her in the car
and sat down behind the wheel. They were gone in moments.

La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la

A woman of around twenty-eight sat inside a gazebo in the park as the rain poured
down. She was peacefully reading the paper. She stopped when she turned the page and
found the obituaries. The man at the top of the page caused her blood to chill.
“Ascot...”

The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years
She tried to hide the whiskey on her breath

Gossip over Ascot’s suicide spread like wildfire. Caldina had only shared the
note with a few people, which left many to speculation. Some said it was that his sister
was never there. Others said that he had been wronged romantically. And still some said
he had never been right, and that it had only been a matter of time before something of
the sort had occurred.
It had been three years since his death, and there was quite possible a new rumor
every month since his entombment.
Yet there was one girl in his circle who never dared to speak his name, and no one
around her dared to, either. Ryuuzaki Umi hadn’t seen Ascot much in the years leading
up to his death. This was mainly due to the fact that she couldn’t stand being around him.
But out of everyone he knew, his death had shaken her the most.
She knew it was her fault. Even if Caldina had never said it - even if anyone who
knew of the note had never said it - she knew it. She had left him all those years ago.
She had turned his world - their world - upside down without leaving any reason. She
figured he just couldn’t handle it. So she knew, even if it was never said, that it was her
fault.
She looked up at the shiny bottles behind the slick, wooden surface of the counter.
Their contents glittered in the dim lights of the bar. She closed her eyes and looked down
as tears threatened to spill over.
For what seemed like the millionth time in the past month, her mind wandered to
the past - to the night she had destroyed everything they were.
~*~*~*~
“Hold on!” came the muffled voice from behind the door. She waited patiently in
the hall for the door to open. In all honesty, she did not want him to answer. She wanted
to go home; she wanted to not have to do this. She was happy with how things were - she
loved him, he loved her, and everything was good. Or so she thought.
Before she could have any more time to contemplate her actions for the night, the
door opened. Her boyfriend of six years stood in the door frame. He was dressed in a
pair of black jeans and a green sweater. A forest green beanie was on his head, and his
bangs were once again obscuring his eyes.
“Umi!” he said happily. He took her hand and pulled her inside. As soon as the
door was closed, he pulled her against him and kissed her. She found her strength leave
her in that kiss as she melted against him. She couldn’t help but wonder how she was
going to make it through the night.
“Are you ready?” he asked when he finally pulled away. She looked up at him in
confusion.
“R-ready?” she asked. He nodded.
“We’re going over to Caldina’s for dinner, remember?” he asked. She paled. She
had forgotten that it was Christmas.
“No,” she said. “Not yet. Ascot...we need to talk.”
He stopped and looked at her. He gazed at her with quizzical eyes before he
shrugged. He leaned against the wall and pulled her close to him, smiling.
“What about, koi?” he asked.
She tensed. How the hell was she supposed to do this with him holding her like
this? She looked at the ground. She knew if she looked at his face she would lose all
courage. She wanted so badly to run; to not have to do this. She found herself
desperately wishing for a fairer option, even though she knew there was none.
“I have to leave, Ascot,” she whispered. His grip slackened as he stared at her.
“Leave? When?” he asked. “How long will you be gone?”
“Dammit, Ascot!” she shouted as she pushed him away. She took a few steps
back, yet she never lifted her head. He thought saw tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Don’t make this any harder than it has to be! I have to leave - I’m breaking up with you!
Ok?!”
He stood there for a long while, staring at her. He knew what she had said, yet he
couldn’t believe it. She knew this all too well as she glanced up. His eyes had become
wide and protuberant; and they looked very glossy. Finally, after many torturing
moments, he moved. He stood and walked away from her; towards the back hall.
“You can show yourself out,” she heard him call in a hollow voice. That voice
tore at her heart; clawing it into thousands of pieces. She turned to leave - desperate to
get away from the agonizing pain this place was causing her - when she spotted a blue,
velvet box. She reached over to its resting place atop the hall table and gingerly picked it
up. She opened it to find a beautiful silver ring with a decent sized diamond in the center
and tiny aquamarines surrounding it. She dropped the box as tears slipped out of her
eyes. In that one moment, she lost all control and fled.
~*~*~*~
She had never told him why she had left him. Only her family knew. Her father
had forced her to leave him. Her father said he was no choice for a Ryuuzaki, and that he
- her father - already had a perfect spouse set up for her. Her father had made her leave
Ascot - had threatened to take the man’s life if she disobeyed him.
In her fury, she picked up the shot glass and downed the beverage. She slammed
the glass down on the table. The force of the impact shattered the glass into a million
pieces that cut into her clenched hand. Kohaku, the bartender, walked over and looked at
her.
“Guru-sama, you might want to be getting home,” he said. He looked at her
through wise amber eyes wrought with sympathy. She looked up at him and shook her
head.
“I’ll replace the glass,” she said. “Just get me another shot.”
“Guru-sama,” he said, “With all due respect, I don’t think that’s wise. Your
husband would kill me if I-”
“Screw my husband!” shouted Umi loudly. The other patrons stopped their
chattering and stared, wide-eyed, at the wraith of a human. “You think that ass cares
what I do with my time? He can go to Hell for all I care!”
“Guru-sama, are you having home troubles?” asked Kohaku. “Has Guru-sensei
been..messing around? Has he been beating you?”
“My worthless husband...doesn’t even see me enough to ‘hit me’. And he’s been
with just about every whore this town has to offer,” said Umi miserably. “Who am I to
care where he gets his pleasure? As long as I don’t have to share a bed with that monster.
I’ve only been with one man my entire life, and he’s dead. So Clef can go to every
prostitution joint or strip club in town if he so desires, because I will never submit myself
to him.”
She slumped forward. Her shoulders began to shake as sobs racked her body. A
crumbled, worn photo slipped out of her free hand. Kohaku picked up the paper and
looked at it with wide eyes.
“Give that back,” said Umi weakly. “Give him...give him back...”
Kohaku looked at her sadly. He finally said, “Umi-san, ain’t this that guy that
died a few years back? Suicidal one? What’re you doing with a picture of him?”
Umi lunged forward and grabbed the picture. She threw some money down on
the table and stood. She left the bar, anger and pain welling up inside her.
“I killed him,” was all she said as she left.

She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night

Umi stumbled into her front door an hour or so later. She switched the lights on
and headed towards the kitchen, where she immediately grabbed a bottle of whiskey off
the top shelf of one of the cabinets. She slammed the cabinet door shut and brought the
bottle to her mouth. She took a deep swig and looked out the window - at the rain that
was steadily pouring down. She pulled the drapes shut and took another deep drink from
the bottle before she staggered up the stairs to her room.
She had made her husband - the great doctor Guru Clef - giver her her own room.
She locked the door to this room and flicked the light on. It shuttered before going dark.
She rolled her eyes and took another gulp of whiskey. She walked over to her bed and sat
down on the soft mattress. She looked up at the ceiling and sighed.
She had given up on life when she was forced to leave Ascot. But if things hadn’t
been bad already, when she learned of his suicide things had gone from bad to worse.
She had been hospitalized on multiple occasions for attempted suicide. She had been
committed on multiple occasions. And it was all his fault.
“Damn you, Ascot,” she whispered dazedly as she took another drink. “Damn
you for let...letting me...me leave...”
She looked over to her bedside table. It was littered with frames of her youth -
pictures of her time with Ascot. She pulled out the picture of him from her pocket and
stared at him.
“You ass,” she whispered. “You f-fucking ass!”

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory

She took yet another swig from the bottle. She pulled it away and glared at it. In
a sudden rage, she threw the bottle against the wall with all the strength she could muster.
“Why the hell did you leave me like this?!” she shouted. “Why didn’t you..why
didn’t you take me...take me with...with you?!”
She slumped against her bedside table when her knees gave way. She opened the
drawer and peered inside. She searched for another bottle of Jack Daniels, yet what she
found instead brought even more comfort: a small silver pistol.
“I have..to,” she choked out. She climbed onto her bed and laid on her stomach.
She rested her face against the blue pillow. She closed her fist tight about the picture of
her lost love and brought that arm under her forehead.
“I’ll see you soon,” she whispered in a rare moment of lucidity. “My...my love.”

Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees

Clef opened the door to his house around midnight. It had been a relatively busy
night at the hospital - at least five emergencies had been brought in. He had been so
exhausted that he had canceled his date with his long-time mistress, Artisan Presea. He
slammed the door and walked into the kitchen.
“I’m home,” he called. He highly doubted that his useless wife was home, but he
had found it habitual to call out his arrival. So he was relatively surprised to find his
wife’s keys on the island in the kitchen. Usually, Umi was still at some bar, or wandering
the streets, at this time of night. He shrugged it off and went upstairs, deciding to check
on his wife. Perhaps he would make that date with Presea after all.

We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life

“Are you awake, dear?” asked Clef as he opened her door. He went to turn on the
light-switch, yet found it already up.
[She must need a new light,] he thought. He went into the hall closet and
retrieved a flashlight. He re-entered the room and turned the flashlight on. It cast an
eerie glow over the room. He entered and looked around, confused.
“Umi?” he asked. “Where are yo- UMI!”
He raced over to the bed and fell to his knees next to it. His young bride - the
young girl he had loved so dearly, yet who had never returned those emotions - lay on the
bed, devoid of all life. Her face was down in the pillow, and blood was splattered along
the wall, headboard, blankets, pillow, bedside table and its contents, and the crimson
liquid had drenched the thirty-one-year-old. Her skin was pale, her right hand clutched
the gun, and her left hand held tightly to a photograph.
He carefully reached over and pulled the picture out of the lifeless grip. He was
surprised at how strong her grip was; it was as if this picture was the only thing that could
give her the redemption she so powerfully desired. He looked at the worn, old picture. It
had the appearance of over-use, yet also held the quality of something treasured beyond
all worth. He recognized the young woman in the snapshot - it was his wife at a younger
age. He barely recognized the young man. He knew it to be Palu Ascot, the young man
who had committed suicide a few years back; the young man his wife had loved with her
entire being, even beyond his grave.
Ascot was holding Umi tightly, protectively, as someone took the photo. Their
faces were lit with smiles, and it was one of those rare moments where you could see past
the young man’s bangs. His eyes reflected every emotion in Umi’s - love, trust, respect,
yearning, passion, and fear. They reflected the myriad of emotions only true lovers could
ever hope to realize. They were young, and they were in love. Hopelessly, madly,
deeply, desperately in love.
He flipped the photograph over and saw a note scribbled on the back. He took a
breath and read it, knowing somewhere - in some deep depth of his heart - that he was
intruding on the most private of communications; the deepest depths of emotional speech.
‘To my mizu-kokoro,
Caldina developed the pictures from our park trip last week. I figured you would
want some, and this image immediately struck out as one I had to give you. You’re mine
forever, koi - and don’t let anyone try to tell you different. Always remember that I’ll
keep you safe forever, no matter what the cost.
Forever yours,
Ascot’
Clef wiped his arm across his eyes, which were threatening to spill over with
tears. He placed the photo back where it belonged - in Umi’s hand. He kissed the crown
of her head and smiled weakly at her.
“I suppose you’ll finally have the love I could never give you on this Earth,
Umi-sama,” he whispered sadly. “Yasumu no naka de heion.”

We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby

Two weeks later, a small group was once again surrounding the small cemetery’s
willow. Clef had erected another shrine, slightly smaller in size, next to Ascot’s. He
watched as they laid his wife’s casket inside the stone building. He looked over to her
parents, who seemed to be in a state of disarray. Caldina had flown back from Okinawa -
where Lafarga was currently stationed - to attend the small ceremony.
Half-way through the service, the heavens opened up and a powerful storm
covered the area. Thunder boomed through the skies, and lighting split the dark clouds in
half. Only Umi’s parents, Caldina, and Clef remained for the rest of the ceremony.
Caldina walked over to Clef and smiled at the small shrines.
“You know, Guru-sama,” she said, “Lafarga once told me something - back when
we were living in the United States. He told me that when he was little his grandmother
died. He was so upset, and during the funeral it started to rain. His mother told him that
it rained because his grandmother was a great person, and when this Earth loses great
people, the angels mourn for them. And their tears fall through Heaven’s floor and
shower the Earth, and the fact that the angels mourn our loss should comfort us.”
“Why would the angels mourn?” asked Clef. “They are receiving the great spirit,
not the other way around.”
“His mother said that they are glad to receive the spirit,” said Caldina. “But they
mourn for us - for the Earth. Because we’ve just lost such an important spirit that the
angels know the world will be darker without them.”
“I say his mother smoked something,” Clef said bitterly as he walked way.

La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la

La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la

Caldina looked at the tomb as the grave diggers sealed it. She smiled slightly and
allowed herself to take comfort in Lafarga’s story. She walked over to the tombs and laid
a lotus bloom on each of the graves.
“I know the angels are crying for you, Umi,” said Caldina. “As shall I. But I
promise to be happy, as well. You’re with my baby brother again now. And I know
you’ll have all the happiness you should’ve had in this life.”
She stood and left the cemetery, leaving the tombs in silence.
When she was gone, the wind swirled around the base of the willow. The sudden
torrent brought the branches up in a violent swirl. For a brief moment, a young, happy
couple was visible - each safe in the other’s arms as they shared the kiss they had longed
for since their end.

La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la

La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la

~~~
Owari
~~~

A.n.: I really need to stop writing sad stories... Ok, I’ll go back to TBAA now. Please
review and tell me what you think!
~ teh NEZUMI!!

Notes:
1.) Yasumu no naka de heion. - I formed this from my dictionary. It’s s’ppoused to mean
‘rest in peace’, and I think I used the proper forms of each word. If I’m wrong, please tell
me - any help would be much appreciated.

2.) Some of my family lived in Japan for a few years when my uncle was stationed there.
My Aunt Karen was telling me about Japanese cemeteries, and showed me some pictures.
The families build little shrines for their dead, and I think they cremate them and place
the ashes in the shrine. You aren’t s’ppoused to go into these cemeteries - but my aunt
and her dad did, and they got pictures. Anyway, I just merged American funerals with
Japanese tradition. Sorry if I confused anyone.