Mahou Sensei Negima! Fan Fiction / Naruto Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Wait, did that happen before? ❯ Playing Dumb and Being Dumb ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Chapter 4: Playing Dumb and Being Dumb

"And that's how a curse was placed on the Hibiki name. Now, anyone unfortunate enough to be named with it is granted an extremely bad sense of direction," Ryouga finished. "Any questions?"

'That sounds like a bunch of crap,' Naruto and Sakura both thought.

"Why didn't you just change your name?" asked Negi.

Ryouga looked at him like he'd grown a second head. "I'm not marrying someone I don't love just to get rid of that curse," he replied. "Besides, I think it's also genetic."

"That's not what-" Negi started, but was interrupted by Ryouga.

"ANYWAYS, now that we're done talking about my extremely humiliating condition THAT I DON'T LIKE TALKING ABOUT, let's introduce ourselves!" Ryouga practically shouted, a very large fake smile plastered on his face. "I'll go first! My name is Hibiki Ryouga. I hate pork, getting lost, cold water, and curses. I like learning new techniques, Hiraishin no Jutsu (Flying Thunder God Technique), that Konoha has a huge wall surrounding it, and that Konoha has multiple highly visible landmarks that can be seen from almost anywhere in the village. My hobbies are practicing martial arts, er, I mean taijutsu, and thinking up new ways to defeat my rival. My dream is to one day get rid of the curses that plague me. Your turn!" he finished, pointing at the genin of Team Five.

"Curs-" Negi started to ask, but was immediately interrupted.

"I SAID, YOUR TURN!" shouted Ryouga, pointing at Naruto.

"..." said Negi.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto! What I like is instant ramen! What I like even more is ramen from Ichiraku's, especially when someone else pays for it. I hate the three minute wait after pouring in the boiling water. My dream is to one day become Hokage and surpass all the previous Hokages! My hobbies are..." Naruto paused for a second. 'What did I do back then?' "...pranks and practical jokes, I guess."

"Next," Ryouga said.

"My name is Negi Springfield."

'Ah! That's what his name was!' thought Naruto.

"There are plenty of things I like, and the only thing I really hate is taking baths."

'I noticed,' Naruto almost said. Despite not actually saying anything, he got a glare from Sakura.

"My dreams are to one day become a ma... skilled ninja." 'Oops. I almost slipped up there,' thought Negi. "And there is someone I hope to one day find. My hobbies are ...practicing ninjutsu and training. Okay, your turn, Sakura."

Sakura blushed and, grinning, glanced at Negi. "My name is Haruno Sakura. My favorite thing is ...well, it's not a thing, it's a person. A boy... and that boy is...uh... Let's move on to my dream." Sakura paused, and her blush intensified. And then her expression swiftly switched to one of disgust. "I hate Naruto-"

"What!?" yelped Naruto, who up to that point had been entertaining the possibility that without Sasuke, the boy Sakura liked might have been him (although even he had realized it was unlikely). 'Oh well. She'll come around. She almost did last time. ...Still hurts, though.'

"-and evil witches." 'Named Rita Repulsa,' Sakura did not specify, prompting Negi to give her slightly scared look and Naruto to look at her in confusion.

'What?' Naruto thought in surprise. 'I know she didn't say that last time. Is ...is she sucking up to our jounin instructor about his supposed curse?' Naruto cast a suspicious look at Ryouga, who either missed it or ignored it and continued to watch Sakura as she continued her introduction.

"My hobbies are competing with Ino and beating on those putty-things that keep showing up in the village, lately."

Ryouga, picking up on the one thing of interest to him in her introduction, looked at her in surprise. "You have a rival?"

"Ino. She used to be a friend, but now she just tries to show me up whenever she can, especially in front of the person I like. I hate her!"

"Hmm..." Ryouga contemplated. 'It sounds like one of my students is someone after my own heart. This should be interesting.' However, before Ryouga's thoughts could drift off-course toward a certain red-clad, arrogant, loud-mouthed, son-of-a... er, wrenching his thoughts back to the present before they could drift to his own rival, Ryouga looked at his new team and started speaking. "Alright. Now that that's out of the way, formal training begins tomorrow."

"Yes sir!" shouted Naruto. "What will our duties be?" 'As if I didn't know. Tomorrow's the bell test.'

"Our first project involves only the members of this cell," Ryouga replied.

"What is it? What?" asked Naruto. 'Hee hee hee. Playing dumb is kind of fun.'

<Guess that's a new one for you, huh?> a familiar voice sounded from inside Naruto's head. <Usually, you're not acting.>

'Gah! Kyuubi, when did you wake up? You're not supposed to wake up until Jiraiya shoves me off the cliff!'

<That happened years ago, you moron. Since I'm trapped inside you, of course I'd be sent back with you. Any idiot would have realized this. Speaking of idiots, it looks like you just missed your assignment.>

'What?' Naruto snapped back to the real world, where Ryouga, Negi, and Sakura were walking off. 'Oh hell.' Quickly, Naruto ran after Ryouga, but as his new instructor turned the corner, he suddenly vanished. '...Ack! How'd he do that?'

Deciding that it wasn't important, he turned and ran after Sakura. "Wait! Sakura!"

Sakura turned and cast an annoyed look in his direction. "What is it Naruto?" 'Dammit! If you make me late for my training, I'll kick your ass! I'm giving up a chance at a date for this!'

"Er... where did Ryouga say we were meeting again?"

"We're meeting at training ground forty-four," Sakura replied flatly.

"Gotcha, thanks." 'Thanks for the heads up. I was going to go to training ground three.' The kyuubi simply snorted in response. 'Alright, now time for ramen!' Turning, Naruto started toward Ichiraku's.

0o0o0

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" wailed Naruto. "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?!" Tears streamed from his eyes as Naruto sank to his knees, sobbing. "It isn't fair. I *sob* I was supposed to fix everything. But for what? How can I go on... without you?" In front of him was the empty lot where Ichiraku's should have been. "WHAT SICK, TWISTED GOD DID I ANGER TO DESERVE THIS?!"

From a prison deep inside him, cruel laughter emanated. The kyuubi hadn't been this amused in quite a while.

"Naruto?" a familiar voice asked. Turning, Naruto was met by the figure of Teuchi, the owner of Ichiraku's. Staring at him from outside the entrance to Ichiraku's. Which was just on the other side of the street. Suddenly, Naruto felt very, very dumb.