Marmalade Boy Fan Fiction ❯ Lonely Hearts ❯ Interminable Night ( Chapter 9 )

I love sightseeing with Miki. She was so excited about being in love and with Yuu and going out and seeing a new city. Her enthusiasm was contagious. Even though I'd been there before, with my father on business, everything was a little bit more wondrous when I saw it through Miki's eyes. It was an utterly exhausting day. We didn't return to the dormitory until after six, and we did so primarily so I could liberate Elizabeth from her books and bring her to dinner with us.

I left the cab before it came to a complete stop, leaving Yuu to settle things, and headed straight upstairs to Elizabeth's door. I frowned when I saw the piece of paper taped up, and moved closer to read it.

Needed to work some things out. Gone out running. Please don't worry; I should be back soon.

~Elizabeth

There was no time on the note, no indication of when she'd be back or even when she left. Taking the note off the door, I went to share it with the group congregated in the living room, trying to avoid a growing feeling of unease. Just as I walked into the living room everyone turned to me expectantly.

"Is she getting ready?" Doris asked.

"I hope she wears a skirt." Brian said, "If we go out with five women in skirts I'll die a happy man." He grinned at Doris, as if to reassure her that regardless of what he said, he'd only have eyes for her.

Only Yuu noticed something was wrong.

"Satoshi, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"What's that in your hand?" Miki ventured.

"She's out running. She said not to worry." Meiko glanced out the window as I said it, the weather, which had been drizzly and chilly all day, had taken a turn for the worse. The wind had picked up; the clouds had thickened and it was raining significantly.

I groaned. When would she be home? Was she outside in this? Was she somewhere warm? Why had she done this? She was sick. I started pacing.

"Miwa-san, maybe we should go to dinner now and then see if she's here when we come back." Miki was trying to be cheerful, in counterpoint to my rising anxiety.

"No! I want to be here when she gets back, or if she needs me."

"Satoshi, we'll go out and get dinner, if you want to wait here we can bring you something back." Jin looked at me in an assessing fashion. "She's a smart girl, don't worry too much, okay?" As they left Jinny turned on the radio.

"This is the campus station, it'll give you some noise to distract you, and maybe you can call and talk to the DJ later. He knows a lot, might be able to help you." Trailing off she followed everyone else out the door. I walked over to the window and watched the driveway, prepared for however long a vigil it would take. As I sat and watched the false dusk brought on by the rain turned to true dusk, and then to twilight.

I couldn't stop my thoughts from tending to the worst. I had images of Elizabeth fainting on a dark street somewhere; of her running, then stopping to double over and cough. Each minute that passed without sign of her conjured up a more horrendous vision in my mind.

The porch seemed like a logical place to be at the time. I suppose I thought I'd be closer to her if I too were outside, braving the elements, and so I sat outside on the steps of the dormitory, willing her to come safely back home, and to me. The urgency of this impulse frightened me, hadn't she implied only this morning that I meant nothing to her? But that didn't fit with the look I saw in her eyes at times, like I were her last hope of salvation. Why couldn't I ever be interested in a nice average girl? Grinning ruefully, I continued to sit outside, not in the rain, but in the chill wind.

I don't know how much time I spent out there, only that the passing moments failed to yield to me the object of my desire. I was still out there when everyone came back from dinner.

"Satoshi! What are you doing out here?" Akizuki was surprised to find me outside, then realization hit her, "She's not back yet, is she? You getting yourself sick isn't going to help her any."

"Miwa-san, you should come inside and eat. We couldn't decide what you would like, so we all ordered you something." Miki's words unsettled me, looking at her and Yuu, as well as Doris and Jinny I saw that each of them held a take-out container; presumably each also contained a part of my dinner. It wasn't sensible, but from the apologetic look on Yuu's face I supposed it was about par for the course with those four. It did give me a humorous moment, in which I could forget my worry.

Going inside with the group I took Doris's proffered container and settled down on the windowsill to eat, while watching the window. This time rather than merely looking for a sign of her, my thoughts turned inward, and I brooded.

"Have I offended her? Her face fell this morning when I was stunned about her casual flirtation remark. Was she just teasing me? I don't remember the last time a girl teased me. Maybe I'm the one assuming too much. Maybe she is seeing someone, back at her old school, or maybe that's why she left, a broken heart. I don't think that's the case though, when Meiko thought she'd lost Namura-sensei it seemed like she thought a part of her was missing, and that happiness was no longer possible. Elizabeth doesn't seem like anything is lost, she seems like she's out of touch with anything that isn't important right now. No, she just seems exhausted, like it's her responsibility to keep the world spinning in the sky and to make sure others can be happy. Her own happiness isn't important. Maybe she thinks it would distract her. Is that it?"

"Let's play a board game." Bill suggested.

"What?" Miki asked

"I was thinking something that wouldn't put anyone at a disadvantage. Trivia and word games would be a bad choice." He continued, walking over to a cabinet that stood in the corner. "How about chess? Anyone care to join me?" When no one volunteered Brian walked over and began to help Bill set up the board.

While they began to play Miki and Meiko started talking to Doris and Jinny about school subjects, boyfriend troubles and clothes.

Yuu turned up the radio enough to cover a quiet conversation and walked over to me. As unfamiliar music flooded the room he, the man who had confided in me about his fears that his soul mate no longer loved him, sat on the windowsill next to me.

"Satoshi, what's going on? Does Elizabeth mean something to you?"

"She does, I can't explain it, but I want to do the impossible for her. I want to help her cry and make her smile, and I've only known her for a short time. It just feels…"

"Right?"

"Yes, it feels right. Being with her feels right."

"Let me guess, you're not sure how she feels about you."

"No, I'm not, and I'm worried I overreacted to something she said this morning and that, that it's my fault she's out there, in this." My voice broke and I could neither continue nor meet Yuu's concerned eyes. Staring out into what had become a steady downpour, I felt tears forming.

A startled sound from Miki broke the tension in the room. Yuu rushed over to her.

"What is it Miki?"

"On the radio." She pointed to the item in question and drew my attention. Immediately I knew what she had noticed: Elizabeth's voice was unmistakable, especially after hearing her husky from sleep and congestion this morning. I had never heard her voice so accented. She sounded like she could have just come from herding cows. I was suddenly afraid about what I would learn regarding her current condition. She didn't strike me as the type to call radio shows.

Yuu turned the radio louder without being asked. We all sat in silence and listened to the DJ, hoping for an explanation.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Sorry about the delay in our normal programming. I was getting an explanation from our regularly scheduled impromptu guest host as to why she was late this evening. I'd recount it, but I think you'd rather hear it from her. Tsutami?" I couldn't believe it when he called Elizabeth "Tsutami." In fact, I refused to put stock in it, he'd obviously made a mistake.

"Sorry Joel, and everyone else, I beg forgiveness. It was a bit hard to find a phone." It was unmistakably Elizabeth, but while she sounded a great deal more hoarse than she had earlier this morning, at the same time I could hear the briskness that I'd come to associate with the mystery caller creep into her exhausted voice. Clearing her throat she continued, "I was away from my desk and lost track of time, I'm flattered that you missed me."

"Of course, no one else has the temerity to call in every night at the same time, and to be so marvelously wittily bitter. What's your topic for this evening, if I may ask?"

"Actually, I need to ask a favor."

"Name it milady, and if it's in my power to grant it, than grant it I shall."

"Forgive me for not continuing our debate tonight and play Beethoven's Pathique Sonata for me."

"Tsutami, I can forgive the speaking obligation easily, you sound like you're getting sick again and I want you to get well enough to lambaste me properly. Why do want a Beethoven piano sonata? And why that one in particular, it's twenty minutes long."

"Joel, please, I feel pathetic right now and minor."

"Did you loan out a book again and feel like it was cheating on you?" He chuckled, and Elizabeth let out a soft giggle, but when she spoke it was in a somber tone.

"No Joel, it wasn't a book, but I think I've worked through it and I can deal with him now."

"Him? Tsutami, what are you saying?" Joel's voice was in earnest now; as if he'd forgotten they were on the air. My response was mixed. I knew that Joel was upset, because he had come to care so greatly for this woman, but at the same time I felt guilt rise at the thought that I was the reason she was out in this weather. Hope budded as well, at the thought that she felt something for me.

"Not now, I beg you. Can you play the Beethoven for me?" She sounded tired.

"Yes, of course, why it is so important."

"It's going to get me home tonight?"

"You're not out in this, are you? Tell me you're not out running in this weather."

"You know what, my friend?" her voice had a lilt to it now, as if she were pleased.

"What?" Joel replied warily.

"If you're going to broadcast without a shirt on, you really should close the blinds." In Joel's moment of surprise the dial tone was striking, as was the scrape of a chair. The thud of a fist hitting glass was not disguised at all. After a slight pause Joel's breathing was heard, followed by his voice.

"My fellow listeners, I do believe that, though I have still not met her, I have at least seen our elusive lady Tsutami. Granted, it was only for a moment, in the pouring rain, as she passed under a streetlight, but she exists. I know you can hear me m'dear, so I'll play your song. I hope it works out with him. Godspeed milady." Immediately after his quiet invocation he cut to the opening of a piano sonata.

"What do I do?" I asked the room in general, "That had to have been Elizabeth, and she's out there, somewhere, in the pouring rain."

"I think I have the number to the radio station upstairs, we could call them and ask where their building is. Then we'd know the most likely route she'd be on and be able to maybe go intercept her." Doris left the room at a run, heading upstairs.

As we waited for her to return Yuu looked at me with concern. He was on the verge of speaking when Doris returned.

"Got it! Would you like me to dial for you Satoshi?"

"Please." When she had finished she handed me the phone. After a few moments I heard the unmistakable sound of a busy signal.

"It's busy. Is that normal?"

Yuu spoke up, "Tsutami has been calling every evening for two weeks now; I've heard some of her and Joel's conversations and arguments. She's a popular person now, that's why Joel was worried when she called late. I think other listeners may be worried about her, or wanting to learn who she is, and are calling Joel to ask him about it."

"All these people care about Tsutami and no one who lived with her even knew her name." I walked back over to the window, nearly ready to go outside and start running, wholly on instinct, in the vague hope that it would bring me nearer to her.

Minutes passed, the strains of Beethoven filled the room. I think Doris kept dialing the phone number, but didn't seem to connect. The rain poured down with increasing hardness. I could barely see to the gate. How was she getting anywhere in this? Had she taken shelter somewhere? Was she pausing for breath? I glanced at my watch; it had been a scant five minutes since the song had begun.

"Hello, Joel?" I heard Doris say. Yuu handed me an extension to the main line and I listened to the conversation.

"Yes, this is he, can I help you?"

"I need to know where your studio is located."

"Let me guess, you're worried about Tsutami, right? I'll tell you we're in the Tower just north of campus, but please, just like I've told everyone else, don't go looking for her, I think she needs this. When I saw her she was running like the dogs of hell were nipping at her heels. I've heard her when she was upset, but tonight she seemed desperate. She's so alone right now."

"But I think she lives in the room next to mine, and if you're worried about her being alone then it only makes sense for you to tell me where you think she might be."

"You know, the past ten minutes I've gotten nothing but calls about her. I'm touched, and I'm worried about her too, but I think I've heard every excuse in the book now and I don't want to alarm her by telling people where she was headed and have a cavalcade out looking for her. She can handle herself." I couldn't keep quiet any longer.

"You know she's sick. She's upset, she probably isn't thinking straight. She's been out there since sometime this afternoon. Please, I beg you, can you tell us anything that could help us find her?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm the one who drove her out into the storm, though I didn't intend to, and if you care about her like I know you do than you are as aware as I of the folly of allowing her to be out in this. Pneumonia is serious." He failed to rise to my bait.

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you anything more. If what you say is true and she lives twenty minutes from here she should be back soon, then you can ask her. I won't risk her safety."

He hung up. It was all I could do to keep from flinging the phone across the room. "You idiot!" I wanted to scream, "You're worried about her safety when you know she's ill. Don't you realize that this could be the death of her? She looked transparent this morning."

The dance-like opening of the third movement dissolved into somber chords, echoing my mood. Turning back toward the window I stared blankly outside, lost in my thoughts.

I almost didn't hear the door opening. Almost. Pivoting swiftly I saw Elizabeth slip inside, sopping wet and looking exhausted. Her cough echoed in the entryway. I ran to her, but wasn't fast enough, she dropped to her knees and coughed like she had nearly drowned. I knelt in front of her and grasped her shoulders.

"Where have you been?"

"Running."

"Why?"

"Had to think"

"About what?"

I didn't get a reply because she started coughing again.

"What is so important that you have to go out running, in the pouring rain, for countless hours, to think about it? Didn't it occur to you that you're ill? This could complicate it and put your life in danger. Would it have been so bad to wait and talk to someone, or to wait until someone came back to go with you? You didn't even leave a time you'd left, or a route. Not to mention the fact that you're dressed completely in black. For all we know you had left just after us and had died on the street. Do you know what it feels like to think the person you're falling in love with has died? Can you imagine what it feels like to know it's your fault that she's out there; possibly in pain and that you can't help her? It's like my heart had been ripped out." She looked at me in a puzzled fashion.

"You're that important." In the instant before she fainted against my chest I realized that only my first sentence had been in English, for the rest I had been too upset to use anything but my native tongue. I was absurdly thankful that she hadn't understood my confession. I hadn't been thinking at all, merely acting on my gut instincts as I raged at my impotence when it came to protecting her from herself.

She was soaking wet, I could feel moisture seeping through my shirt as I supported her. It jolted me back to my surroundings and to the insistent urge I had to protect this girl. Meiko walked over to me.

"If you can get her upstairs Miki and I will get her into dry clothes."

"Yes." Without another word I stood, with her in my arms again and walked up the stairs. When we got to her room Miki found a towel and spread it on Elizabeth's bed. After I had laid her down Meiko shooed me out of the room.

"Please, tell me once she's dry."

"I will Satoshi, but please, don't worry, I think she's just tired right now." Meiko was trying to be hopeful, but I saw a glimmer of worry in her eyes. She shut the door.

As I waited outside the door Jinny and Bill came upstairs.

"Is she all right?" Jinny asked.

"I don't know. Koishkawa and Akizuki are getting her clothes changed, they won't let me in until that's done."

"I hope this isn't detrimental to her health." Bill said somberly, "From what I've seen she still seemed to be weak." Jinny looked at him in shock.

"How can you say things like that in front of Satoshi? It'll make him worry even more!"

"If something is wrong we need to be prepared for it so we can help her. If everyone pretends she's just fine then she won't get the care she needs and it may end up being more serious than it needs to be."

"He's right." I said softly. "I'm not leaving here until I'm sure she's well, and we've spoken about what I did that confused her."

Miki came out, followed by Meiko.

"She's all changed for bed." Miki told me, "But she's very cold. I'm worried she was outside in the wet for too long. If she were awake she could take a hot bath, but she might drown in it now." I looked at her for a moment.

"Miki, Meiko, I want you to go back to the hotel now. I'm going to stay here and make sure Elizabeth gets warm and doesn't need any medical attention. Ask Yuu to take you if you don't want to go alone. Thank you for your help." Confident that they'd at least consider my directions I entered Elizabeth's room.

She was tucked into bed, and the forest green of her bedding made her look like a figure made out of spun glass. Pulling her chair to her bedside I sat down and stroked her cheek. I drew my hand back in shock.

Miki was right, she felt like ice. I wouldn't have been surprised if the only reason she wasn't coughing was because she was too cold. Smiling sadly at the situation I was in, I realized how I would have to warm her up. Much as I'd thought about going to bed with her, the dangers of hypothermia were sufficient to kill all my lustful thoughts.

Shedding my damp shirt I shifted her over, then slid into bed next to her. I could feel cold seeping though her pajamas and winding tentacles around me, but I cradled her body against my own as best I could, trying to enclose her within my warmth. When I found myself growing cold, and her not seeming to warm, I reached for a thick blanket that had been placed on the floor next to the bed. Draping it over my own shoulders I pulled the excess in front of me and tucked it and my arms back around the cold young woman, surrounding her with a cocoon of blanket and male.

When she finally warmed up enough to start shivering I stopped worrying about her life, and slipped into a light doze, still holding her firmly against my heart.

A burrowing motion partially woke me in the middle of the night. Without opening my eyes I drew my arms tighter, trying to quell the disruptive movement. In doing so my mind registered only two things: warm and woman. Opening my eyes I saw a slender neck resting below me, pillowed upon my arm. Without thought I nosed the hair flowing along it aside and kissed the pale column of flesh. I continued to plant tiny butterfly kisses along her neck until I reached her ear, which I could not resist nibbling gently. The woman in my arms arched back towards me instinctively, her face blindly turning towards mine.

As my hands crept from her waist up the sides of her torso she grew more restless. Her movements aroused me, but none so much as when she rolled over, bringing every inch of her lean, soft body against my own. The jolt of desire woke me completely, and I remembered where I was. I supposed a gentlemen would have left her alone, especially now that my intention of warming her had been met, but one glance down at her face, still relaxed in slumber, pillowed against my bare chest and I was lost. Reluctantly removing one hand from her back I gently tipped her chin up and claimed her lips.

With a soft sigh her lips opened beneath mine and I began to carefully explore her mouth, memorizing and branding at the same time. Her uninhibited response suggested that she was in the same state of partial wakefulness that I had been. When her hands slowly and tantalizingly began to explore my torso I was struck by the thought that she might think she was dreaming. Trailing light kisses along her jaw I slipped my hands under her pajama top and began caressing her back with long fluid motions, careful not to wake her.

My slow movement from the center of her back outward relaxed her. By the time I was cupping her sides, gently caressing up and down she had melted into me. Moving my hands forward a bit, so that my thumbs barely grazed the swells of her breasts, I searched for a scrap of control. I had almost found one when Elizabeth let out a soft groan and pressed her breasts into my chest. Without thought my hands shifted to cover both of them, stroking and soothing the sensitive flesh. Under my ministrations I felt her nipples grow erect, at the same time she began a slow pulse of her hips against mine.

The mute proclamation of her desire inflamed my blood. I wanted nothing more than to rip off our clothing and claim her as my own. Looking down at her face, still lost in slumber, I reminded myself of all the things I hadn't said to her, and of my need for her that went far beyond the simple physical. Easing my body away from hers failed, she instinctively followed, her body knowing only its craving. I heard a soft keening come from the back of her throat, and I threw my good intentions to the wind. The last thing I wanted was to take advantage of her unconscious state, but I could not leave her in an agony of desire. She might be upset with my presence.

Clinging to these slimly rational reason I removed one hand from underneath her top, shifted my hips slightly away from hers and slipped my hand past the waistband of both her pajama bottoms and her panties. As my hand slipped lower she lifted her face and kissed me. My response to her mouth grew more heated as my hand continued its descent, and when it finally arrived at the junction of her thighs I gasped along with her. I began to carefully explore her folds, rubbing her mat of curls gently with my palm as my fingers wove their way to the core of her being. When I found the tiny erect nub of flesh throbbing above her center I couldn't help but circle it, teasing her by not applying direct pressure.

Her hips began to twitch again, but I maintained as little contact as I could, not wanting to lose my control. When her unconscious movements failed to bring her satisfaction she rolled onto her back and spread her legs. I rolled with her, throwing one leg over one of hers, pressing my pelvis against her hip and leaving one shoulder on the bed as I rose up on my elbow and angled my torso towards her. Another surge of passion hit me when I felt her arch her back and tilt her hips, bringing my fingers close to her opening. The moisture I felt there was copious, and I carefully slipped my hand down, pressing the heel against her clitoris and running my index finger carefully along the perimeter of her bedewed portal.

Looking at her face, the delicate feature flushed in the moonlight, I felt that I had come to my limit. Leaning over I kissed her again, at the same time slipping the long finger I'd inherited from my father shallowly within her. As my tongue thrust into her my finger did the same, going deeper each time, then being joined by another as my pelvis ground against her hip in a parody of lovemaking that I was helpless to control. Every fiber of my being wanted her. As she began to desperately quiver against me I pulled my head back, wanting to watch her face. At the moment when every muscle in her body tensed in preparation for climax her head tipped back and her eyes opened blindly. Staring unfocused at the ceiling, I was close enough to understand her breathless cry.

"S'toshi." The broken sound of my name issuing forth from her lips as she was swept by pleasure pole axed me. Crushing her now limp body against my own I wanted to weep for joy. She had been thinking of me, not some faceless man, and not Joel. Gently turning her back onto her side I cradled her against my body again, the gentle curves of her rear end cupping my still painful arousal in a maddening manner. Taking a deep breath I tried to control myself, but her unfettered reactions to me, as well as the knowledge that she desired me at some level filled me with a primitive lust I had no hope of controlling. What began as a gentle rocking against her swiftly turned more urgent, as the friction against my turgid member brought me closer and closer to release. I stiffened, wanting to cry out her name, but fearful of waking her still, as I felt myself, for the first time since puberty, spend my arousal within my clothing. With waves of bliss still washing over me I blindly reached for Elizabeth's hand, threading my fingers through hers as I quit my vigil and sank exhausted into slumber.