Medabots Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Digimon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ KNNNN - Kero's Nonstop Nonsense News Network ❯ 2nd Edition ( Chapter 2 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

"We interrupt your fanfiction reading for this special 24-hours news report."

*

KNNNN (Kero's Nonstop Nonsense News Network)
By PikaFlash And the News Team

2nd Edition

Disclaimers: Almost all of the (fake) News Reports and ideas are mine. The Characters and
scenes are not.

*Headline News*

[Kero Beros - Newscaster (Email: kero_b@knnnn.com]

Kero was wearing a collar and a tie to look like a newscaster at the news table.

Kero: Now, the first few headline news.

"Woman gets super plastic surgery over oversized bulge."

"Digimon Tamer gets bitten by Radioactive Digimon."

"Myotismon denied claims of getting invisible weapons or mas illusion and they could be
anywhere in the Digi-World, which are said to be from here, to here, to here, to here, to
here, to here etc. which claims that they could already be in Goku's house or even your own
house."

"And Old man Gennai denies claims of playing a role in Lord of the Rings."

*Digi-Warathon*

[Kero Beros - Newscaster (Email: kero_b@knnnn.com]
[Eriol Hiragizawa - Newscaster. Email: eriol_h@knnnn.com]

Kero: Welcome to KNNNN's Digi-Warathon on the war against Myotismon. So, now, we will give
you on the information on the our phone number, 1800-Smash-Myotismon.

Eriol: Yes, Kero. We have prizes for the people who pledge their services to the Digi-Warathon.
One prize for the 8th Government to pledge is a Stelth Bomber, one that is undetectable by
radar or any other modren aircraft detecting devices. Plus to the Governments who pledge and
introduce conscription will get a limited edition autographed rubble from the Odaiba incident
when Myotismon terrorised the city. Specially signed by President Goku himself, all 50 rubble
pieces. And now, we'll come across our war correspondent at one of the places of the war
in the Digi-Warathon.

~

[Ash Ketchum - War correspondent. Email: ash_k@knnnn.com]

Ash: Well, Shinra has pledge to KNNNN to Goku's Government a...

~

Eriol: Let me guess, a mako reactor.

~

Ash: That's right.

~

Kero: We'll now move to Ash at Viridian City.

~

[Ash Ketchum - War correspondent. Email: ash_k@knnnn.com]

Ash: Fat Giovanni has pledged all of his troops.

~

Eriol: Very nice to hear that you want to help Goku's Government to face agaisnt the
Myotismon's Digi-World.

~

Ash: Digi-what?! They never did say anything about facing Myotismon.

~

Kero: We would have to cut you off for the moment as in the studio, we have Mr. Yamcha
on his comment on the pledges.

[Yamcha - DBZ Ambassador.]

Yamcha: As I would say, President Ken has sent out an official report that he can send
600, 000 troops to the battle field, if Brock Blockhead can balance 12 balls on his head.

Eriol: Sorry to interrupt you there, as our correspondent Erika Tenryou is at Medacorp on
what they plan to pledge to the War.

~

[Erika Tenryou - Correspondent. Email: erika_t@knnnn.com]

Erika: Well, they didn't tell me anything. But I have recieved information from the
top executives that they say good luck to the war, but no information on pledging any troops.
However, I did recieve information from Kanto and Johto that we need to bribe them to pledge
their troops.

~

Kero: Well, Erika, I'm afraid that we have to leave you because we got Erika Tenryou over
at Goku's Hexagon.

~

[Erika Tenryou - Correspondent. Email: erika_t@knnnn.com]

Erika: Well, the point of being at Goku's hexagon after a few seconds is that at the boiling
point that Goku claims that I stole his lunch. But there was this comment that he made that
File Island has pledged a Weregarurumon to challenge other Digimon governments to match them.

~

Eriol: Sorry to cut you off there, Erika, but I have decided to pledge my guardians Ruby Moon
and Spinel Sun and I want every CardCaptor to match me! And now, we have our correspondent in
the Digi-World, Tai Yagami with us through the satellite.

~

[Tai Yagami - Digi-World Correspondent. Email: tai_y@knnnn.com]

Tai appeared to be beheaded on camera with his body in the background.

~

Kero: Sorry, it appears that we have got a technical difficulty with Tai. And now, we will
leave you for a short while for our parody of the Brady Bunch.

*

|Eriol Hirazigawa and Kero Beros|Yamcha|Brock was balancing 3 baseballs on his head|
|Erika at Medacorp|Kero's NNNN Title|Ash in Viridian|
|Erika at Hexagon|Beheaded Tai Yagami|Ash at Shinra HQ|

*

Eriol: Sorry to interrupt that parody, but this is just in to the Digi-Warathon. Shinra has
decided to make another pledge to KNNNN's Digi-Warathon. Lets look at the footage.

~

TURKS member Tseng passed a large cheque to Ash at a KNNNN confrence.

Tseng: Shinra has pledge this cheque to KNNNN for the war on Myotismon in the Digi-World.

Ash looks at the check and shows the large cheque to a camera.

Ash: Its beautiful, a blank cheque for us. And I'll make sure that it is kept in the right
hands.

~

Kero: Yep, a beautiful blank cheque. And that's the end of our Digi-Warathon. But later
tonight, we'll pass you on who has pledged what to the War on Myotismon. Next we have the
World Report.

[KNNNN: More Wars than any other Fanfiction News Network Parodies.]

*World Report*

[Eriol Hiragizawa - Newscaster. Email: eriol_h@knnnn.com]

Eriol: Hello and welcome to the World Report.

(Topic: KNNNN CEO's Trip around the world.)

Eriol: KNNNN's CEO, Madison Taylor has planned on travelling around the world in a giant
hang glider aka. Ninja travel.

~

A picture of a hangglider was flying from Japan to America.

"Miss Taylor plans to reach Mexico by noon tomorrow or consider the $100, 000 she spent
wasted on her hang gliding trip."

~

(Topic: Spiking Blunder)

Eriol: Next up, a pervert was caught after spiking his own drink with the Rape drug.
Eventually, he got himself up his bottom. Ash Ketchum has more.

~[Ash Ketchum reporting. Email: ash_k@knnnn.com]

Ash was at a nightclub.

Ash: Sometime after the Officer Jennys have arrested the pervert, they sent out a statement
that claims that this guy is looking for exciting things to do by himself and he spiked his
own drink to prey on himself. What a very weird guy. Ash Ketchum for KNNNN.

~

(Topic: Casual Bums)

Eriol: Prince Trunks, son of Prince Vegeta from the Planet Vegeta who is third in line to the
Vegeta Throne, denies claims that he was wearing a suit and tie while fighting in the arena.
Erika Tenryou has more.

~[Erika Tenryou reporting. Email: erika_t@knnnn.com]

Erika was in a space ship floating.

Erika: It is not know whether Prince Trunks has made any comments on his clothing for fighting
but a royal must always look royal, no matter the situation. As I am trapped in a space ship
over planet Earth, I'm now looking for a way back home. Erika Tenryou for KNNNN.

~

Eriol: And now, weather with Brock.

~

[Brock Blockhead - Weathertainment. Email: brock_b@knnnn.com]

Brock was in the Weathercopter still balancing the baseballs on his head.

Brock: Well, Eriol. As I'm flying in the skies while balancing some baseballs on my head, all
I could see are cloud through the front side of the weathercopter, as you can see from the
footage.

The Weathercopter was in a storm cloud.

Brock: Now for weather in Japan.

Japan:
Odaiba - Raining
Tomoeda - Storm
Masara - Light Showers
Kansai - Sunny
Riverview - Sunny
The rest of Japan - Under a very large Cloud

Brock: And that's all for now. Back to you Eriol.

A lightning bolt hits the side of the Weathercopter and some balls dropped out of the
weathercopter.

Brock: Dammit, I dropped all the baseballs off the weathercopter! I need to try it again.

~

Eriol: Bad luck to you Brock. After the break, Sports.

[KNNNN: Something that you won't miss. Something you won't miss. Something you won't miss.
Something you won't...]

*Ad Break*

On the Spam Channel, full of things that you find of no use, you'll find information on how
to kick your computer sky high without breaking your legs that are already in a cast. To find
out more, go to Spam Channel 35 of Kero's Kable TV.

*

McAnimes!

"People, guess what? This week is going to be all MeatLoving week, starting off with the
Meat Burger"

With one meat inbetween two larger meats, with mince meat on the top and fresh salad as
topping. Comes with a free drink known as the Stake and Shake and a free Freat Pie. Only at...

Misty, Sora and Sakura were in the McAnimes restraunt with the meal on a tray.

Misty/Sora/Sakura: MCANIMES! The only place to eat in the Anime world.

*End Ad Break*

*Sports Report*

[Kero Beros - Newscaster. Email: kero_b@knnnn.com]
[Eriol Hiragizawa - Newscaster. Email: eriol_h@knnnn.com]

Kero: Welcome back. Now for Sports with me and Kero Beros.

(Topic: Gary Oak.)

Eriol: Former Pokemon trainer, Gary Oak has been suspended after referees consider him a threat
to the public as he would be likely to offend women again. And with us now is our sports
correspondent, Tai Yagami.

~

[Tai Yagami - Sports Reporter. Email: tai_y@knnnn.com]

Tai appeared to be beheaded on camera with his body in the background.

~

Kero: And we seem to have a technical problem with Tai again. In other news, Soccer Star
Daisuke Motomiya claims that soccer is better than sex with Hikari, even though TK proved
the opposite that having sex with Kari is better than basketball. And the weather report is
now up.

~

[Brock Blockhead - Weathertainment. Email: brock_b@knnnn.com]

Brock was standing on a cliff next to the wrecked Weathercopter while balancing 5 baseballs on
his head.

Brock: As you can see, I got a bit of dust in my eye after the Weathercopter crashed. And plus
I can't give much of the weather while balancing some balls on my head. All I know is that
a large cloud is over the DBZ territory. So that's all I got for now. Back to you, Kero.

~

Kero: Next up on our bulletin, Finance.

[KNNNN: Whatever we report, you'll believe]

*Money Wise, Stock Full*

[Eriol Hiragizawa - Newscaster. Email: eriol_h@knnnn.com]

Eriol: Welcome to Money Wise, Stock Full. I'm Eriol Hiragizawa. In terms of money, the
spineless back breaking ideals of hot chips has soared while the painful spines of the ideals
of the hot swords has chipped the stock market. Last week, the yen complained that we somehow
got our butts kicked by the Z-Squad who soared high up on the charts, breaking the record of
the stock market and had to pay for the repairs. For more information, go to
www.moneywisestockfull.knnnn.com.com/. And after the break, current affairs.

[KNNNN: The only News Network that has the word Humanity as its middle name.]

*Ad Break*

On KNNNN for Kids, we have two super heroes who claims to be the strongest in the world,
Sakura and Sora! On today's episode, Sakura and Sora faces off against the Bludgers.

"The Bludgers are beings that can make Sakura and Sora weak, so how can Sakura and Sora stop
the Bludgers before they themselves turn into mindless things that crash into each other!
Find out more on..."

KNNNN for KIDS!

*

On the the Real Time Channel, we have our documentary on how mountains were created, over
millions of years. The show starts tomorrow on Channel 41 of Kero's Kable TV.

*

McAnimes!

"People! The MeatLoving Week offer has gotten more fresher. We'll give you raw meat on your
Meat Burger, with it so fresh that you can even hear the cows cry. Only at..."

Ikki and Li were at the McAnimes table outside the restraunt.

Ikki/Li: McAnimes! The only place to eat in the Anime world!

*End Ad Break*

*Current Affairs*

[Kero Beros - Newscaster. Email: kero_b@knnnn.com]

Kero: Welcome to Current Affairs.

(Topic: Privacy)

Kero: Privacy, a factor where people needs it but someone barges into one, its a breech, but
lets see on the comments on.

~

Kero enters a room with Sakura and Li together with movement under the covers.

"As you can see, I simply entered Sakura's room to see her with Li under the covers. Lets
see what happens when I pull the covers."

Kero pulls out the covers to have Sakura and Li's bodies blurred as they stared at Kero in
shock.

"As you can see, privacy we can't control."

In the streets, the camera shows a few hidden cameras.

"Everywhere, there's hidden cameras, even 'our' hidden cameras found other hidden cameras."

Kero was wearing a hidden camera on his head in Sakura's room was facing Madison peeking into
Sakura's room window on a ladder outside with her video camera.

"As you can now see, the only way to get through this 'no privicy' law is to do nothing
wrong and stay covered."

Kero covers Sakura and Li's bodies as they continued on what they were doing.

"And that is on our topic of privacy."

~

Kero: Its Email time and lets look at the email we recieved.

*From Tomoyo Daidouji in Tomoeda, she says that with these hidden cameras, she wouldn't need
to carry her camcorder if she could gain control of those cameras.*

*And from Jeri who is trapped in the Digi-World, like the previous letter, but she
would need them to find an exit out of the Digi-World.*

*Plus, one email from Asuka Langley in Tokyo-3, like the previous letter, but longer because
she needs them for battle.*

*Digi-Warathon*

[Kero Beros - Newscaster. Email: kero_b@knnnn.com]

Kero: Back to the Digi-Warathon, here's what the diffrent places pledged to KNNNN for the
war against Myotismon.

~

Goku's Government: All Avaliable Troops.

Fat Giovanni's Government: All Troops but not to the Digi-World

Kanto and Johto: Waiting for bribes.

Shinra: A mako reactor and possibally a blank cheque.

MedaCorp: No troops commited as of yet but said good luck.

File Island: A Weregarurumon to challenge other Digimon governments to match them.

Eriol Hiragizawa: Pledges his guardians Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun and challenge other
CardCaptors to match him.

President Ken's Government: 600, 000 Troops...if KNNNN's Weatherman Brock can balance 12
baseballs on his head.

~

Kero: That reminds us, lets see how's Brock going to make sure Ken's Government can pledge
his 600,000 troops?

~

Brock was balancing 10 baseballs on his head.

~

Kero: He's going well, still balancing the baseballs on his head. Remember, the prize for the
8th Government to pledge is a Stelth Bomber, one that is undetectable by radar or any other
modren aircraft detecting devices. Plus to the Governments who pledge and introduce
conscription will get a limited edition autographed rubble from the Odaiba incident when
Myotismon terrorised the city. Specially signed by President Goku himself, all 50 rubble
pieces. Anyway, here's the number again, 1800-Smash-Myotismon. After this, we'll meet the
woman who claims to be President Goku's granddaughter...

*We interrupt this news report restore you to your normal Fanfiction reading. Thank you for
reading KNNNN.*

News Crew:
Kero Beros [kero_b@knnnn.com] (Editor and Leading Commentator)
Eriol Hiragizawa [eriol_h@knnnn.com] (Commentator and Former Leading Correspondent)
Ash Ketchum [ash_k@knnnn.com] (Middle-level Correspondent and Investigative Journalist)
Erika Tenryou [erika_t@knnnn.com] (Experienced Correspondent and Investigative Journalist)
Tai Yagami [tai_y@knnnn.com] (Leading Investigative Journalist)
Brock Blockhead [brock_b@knnnn.com] (Weatherman)

Ad Crew:
Misty Ketchum
Sora Takenouchi
Li Syaoran
Ikki Tenryou
Sakura Avalon