Medabots Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Digimon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ KNNNN - Kero's Nonstop Nonsense News Network ❯ 3rd Edition ( Chapter 3 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

"Your fanfiction reading has been interuptted by us for this special 24-hours news report."

*

KNNNN (Kero's Nonstop Nonsense News Network)
By PikaFlash And the News Team

3rd Edition

Disclaimers: Almost all of the (fake) News Reports and ideas are mine. The Characters and
scenes are not.

*Headline News*

[Kero Beros - Newscaster (Email: kero_b@knnnn.com]

Kero was wearing a collar and a tie to look like a newscaster at the news table.

Kero: And now, some of the headline news that we'll never see for a long time.

"If you can read this, you don't need glasses."

"The following is a message about KNNNN's Binary service for the Digi-World:
10010101010111011001010101010100011111000001011100011101010 1010100001101011000 etc."

"Popular Anime Character wants to be unpopular waiter."

"Paranoid Anime Character suspects being watched."

"CardCaptor's Meilin beginning to relise that Li Showran and her aren't going to be
together."

"BTW, buy a camoflague ribbon to support Goku's War on Myotismon."

*War Awareness*

[Kero Beros - Newscaster (Email: kero_b@knnnn.com]
[Eriol Hiragizawa - Newscaster. Email: eriol_h@knnnn.com]

Kero: Welcome to KNNNN's update on the War on Myotismon, where we have our updates on the
War on Myotismon. This week is War Awareness week, where we at KNNNN as a charitable
organisation, asks you, the war-loving readers and the viewers in the Anime World, to
convince their goverment to resist peace at all costs.

Eriol was sitting next to Kero with a green camoflage ribbon on his tie.

Eriol: Yes, Kero. War Awareness week is one day where Goku, Giovanni and Medacorp have join
forces issuing a statement that peace will be an option when all other options have been
exhausted. Our correspondent on the battlefield, Ash Ketchum has something to say.

~

[Ash Ketchum - War Correspondent. Email: ash_k@knnnn.com]

Ash was wearing a camoflage helmet with a hard to see camoflage ribbon on top.

Ash: That's right, as you can see, Giovanni has already agreed to this proposal and got
started right away on the battlefield with no enemy. All I can say that these enthusastic
young soldiers ready to put their lives in front of something that hasn't existed yet at
this time.

~

Kero: Sorry to interrupt you there, but at this moment in the Studio, the ambassador of Goku's
government is here with us.

[Yamcha - DBZ Ambassador.]

Yamcha: At this moment, this camoflage ribbon indicates the ideals of using peace only as a
last resort, but by then, all we got is empty buildings.

Eriol: Sorry to interrupt you there but our correspondent at Medacorp, Erika Tenryou has
recieved a comment from Medacorp.

~

[Erika Tenryou - War Correspondent. Email: erika_t@knnnn.com]

Erika was standing in front of a meeting room wearing a camoflage ribbon on her shirt.

Erika: That's right, MedaCorp has decided to tell us that there is no spoon on peace. Only
forks and knives.

~

Kero: Sorry to interrupt you there, Erika, but Tai Yagami has something to say about launching
a Nuclear Missile from the South Pole, right in the middle of Antartica.

~

[Tai Yagami - Digi-World Correspondent. Email: tai_y@knnnn.com]

Tai was frozen in a block of ice.

~

Kero: It appears we have a technical difficulty with Tai's transmission. But we'll be
bringing the world report next.

[KNNNN: The only place where Pokemon is consider High Classed.]

*World Report*

[Eriol Hiragizawa - Newscaster. Email: eriol_h@knnnn.com]

Eriol: Hello and welcome to the World Report.

(Topic: Education)

Eriol: Recent education statistics indicate that children reconise more Pokemon than any
other Judge on TV. Which indicates that Digimon must ask their bosses at FOX for a raise in
children's textbooks.

(Topic: Unlucky Streak)

Eriol: Eli Moon, husband of Daidouji Corporation CEO, Madison Taylor has failed his attempt
to revive the Super Nintendo with the Super Famicom. Here's a report from the press
confrence...

~

Reporter: What will you do about your failed US$1.4 Million attempt?

Eli: I believe that I have been profoundly misled on the deal and I attempt to recover
the loss with a US$2 Million investment on Satellite Guidance with MedaCorp. On young
Medafighters, not their Medabots.

Photographers took photo of Eli's confident smiling face.

~

(Topic: Medabots Gang Charged)

Eriol: Violence is at large, with three Japanese Medafighters arrested, with their families
condemming the arrests as an example for Pokemon to rise up on the TV ratings by unfairly
targeting Medabots and their Medafighters. Erika Tenryou has more.

~

[Erika Tenryou reporting. Email: erika_t@knnnn.com]

Erika: Yes, Eriol, its a tragedy over at this end as the three Japanese Medafighters were
sent to court for trial.

Two guys and a girl with their Medabots were walking to a courthouse with all of their
faces blocked by Kero's face.

Erika: No one has made an official statement, however, some say that it was the work of
rouge Pokemon Trainers wearing white suits with a red R on the top may have caused this
crime, shoving the blame to these three young Medafighters. The sentencing is not known,
as the trial hasn't begun yet. Erika Tenryou for KNNNN.

~

(Topic: Giant Magnets)

Eriol: Yesterday, a jet ski crashed at the Cerulean Gym's water show auidence as Officer
Jenny has claimed some idiot brought in a giant magnet which inadvertantly attacked the
crowd. Ash Ketchum is at the accident site.

~

[Ash Ketchum reporting. Email: ash_k@knnnn.com]

Ash: It was a nightmare to these people at Cerulean Gym. A jet ski on the pool flew into the
auidence and crashed there. The only casualty is a Pokemon Watcher named Tracey Sketchit. No
one else was injured. One of the Cerulean Gym Leaders, Daisy Waters condemns the visitor who
brought in a giant magnet that caused this tragedy. Spooksperson Violet Waters gave an
official statement that the Gym from now on will bring in a magnet detector to confiscate any
magnet brought into the gym. Ash Ketchum for KNNNN.

~

(Topic: Rare Recording)

Eriol: And now, before we have the weather, resident Weatherman Brock has a report on the
most popular group known as The MetaBees aka, the Fat Four, where another undiscovered track
has never been heard before.

~

[Brock Blockhead - Weathertainment. Email: brock_b@knnnn.com]

Brock was in a Music CD shop.

Brock: The MetaBees. Two of them that have become Antique Scrap Metals. But the songs they
made are still the ones that make them alive to us. This demo tape has been found by the
new owners of the old home of one of the MetaBees. It has the haunting recording of the
demo of a new song they planned to make before they broke up.

~

[Demo Tape]

Tape Recording: Hello, this is Meta-G. Please leave a message after the beep. *Beep*

~

Brock: The surviving two members of the Fat Two, Meta-B and Meta-P have asked for the tape
to finish off the song for the memories.

~

[Completed Recording]

Recording *singing*: "You've reached Mettttaaaa-G. Please leave a message after the
beeeeeeepppp."

The music plays for a while then...

*Beep*

~

Brock: But its the remix version done by Rapping Pikachu Storm Da Elite who made the song
sky-rocketing to the top of the charts.

~

[Chart Topping Remix]

Storm Da Elite: "Hello, hel-hel-hello. You've reached Meta-Meta-G. Hel-hello. Please leave,
please leave a message-a m!@#$#f#!$ing message after the beep..." *Beep*

~

Brock: The recording Studio at FOX are celebrating by releasing the 28th MetaBees album.
Critics say that this would make the scrap metal of what used to be Meta-D would turn in
his junk. One that would sound like a new single coming out. Alright, and now the weather.

Kanto Region:
Viridian City - Cloudy
Saffron City - Windy
Fuchsia City - Sunny
Pallet Town - Windy
Celedon City - Sunny
Pewter City - Raining
Cerulean City - Snow
Lavander Town - Windy
Cinnabar Island - Sunny
Seafoam Island - Snow
Indigo Plateu - Sunny
Mt. Moon - Snow

~

Eriol: Alright, after the break, Sports with Kero and me.

[KNNNN: Shorter than KNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN...]

*Ad Break*

Misty was in her apartment on the way to move to another place when an older woman walked in
from behind.

Woman: So, you're going to move to a new place.

Misty turned around.

Misty: Who are you?!

Woman: Don't you know? I'm you, only older.

Misty: Really?

Older Misty: That's right.

Misty looked at her older self.

Misty: You're pregnant!

Older Misty: Yep. But all I can say is that you'll love the place you're going to.

Misty: Really? And I get married?

Older Misty: Yep.

Misty: Cool! Hey, so who do I marry?

Older Misty: Lets just say someone cute.

Misty: So, what's the point of this ad?

The Older Misty took out a petition sheet.

Older Misty: We want the people who created us to plan the future according to how we want
it!

Misty: Yeah!

*This ad is authorised by the director of the Daidouji Corporation.*

On the Wizard Channel, we get to meet the Pikachu who inspired the chain of franchises
that WB endorses, the star Pikachu who played Pika Potter in Pika Potter and the
Thunderstone, on Channel 13 on Kero's Kable TV.

*

McAnimes!

"People, guess what? This week McAnimes is going to the healthy lifestyle, starting by
banning smoking in our outlets."

Li was smoking in the restraunt when Police officer Misty picks Li up by the neck. Outside
the restraunt, Li was tossed out of the door.

"At McAnimes, we ban smoking ever since we were told smoking is bad for people. We even took
away our popular drink NicoBull, the smoker's energy drink as kids who drank it started to
act like drunks and crashing their parents cars. So, to avoid a lawsuit, we blamed the parents
for negligence."

Ikki was in a car drinking the NicoBull, but he crashed the car into a tree.

"So, we at McAnimes do what was best for the health of these children. So eat at..."

Li, Ikki and Misty: MCANIMES! The only place to eat in the Anime world.

*Sports Report*

[Kero Beros - Newscaster. Email: kero_b@knnnn.com]
[Eriol Hiragizawa - Newscaster. Email: eriol_h@knnnn.com]

Kero: Welcome back to KNNNN.

[Topic: Survey]

Eriol: Recently, a survey in the diffrent sports in the Anime World indicate to us in a
survey on what food they eat. Here are the survey results:

9 out of 10 Pokemon Trainers eat what they were paid for.

5 out of 10 Medafighters eat less Japanese food than Digimon Tamers.

7 out of 10 Basketball players chose not to eat growth food as it stumps growth.

[!!sdrawkcaB depyT saW tropeR sihT :cipoT]

Eriol: This next report require us to speak our Sports Correspondent, Tai, who is all the way
in the South Pole for the Trans-Antartic Games.

~

[Tai Yagami - Sports Reporter. Email: tai_y@knnnn.com]

Tai was encased in a block of ice in Antartica.

~

[Topic: The Ikki Miracle]

Kero: Since we are having a technical difficulty with the transmission with Tai, here's our
next report, on Ikki's unstoppable winning streak in the World Medabots' Robattle Tournament.
Ash Ketchum is live with us on screen now.

~

[Ash Ketchum - Sports Reporter. Email: ash_knnnn.com]

Ash: Yeah, well, to celebrate Ikki's winning streak, he recently had FOX to release a hits
single about himself. Erika Tenryou, who is also Ikki's wife, has more.

~

[Erika Tenryou reporting. Email: erika_t@knnnn.com]

Erika was at a Medabots party.

Erika: As you can see, I'm with a few of my husband's party guests who I'm going to ask
a comment on the new single released by Ikki and distributed by FOX.

*

Erika walks to Samantha and Peppercat.

Erika: We got the new single in honor for Ikki's winning streak.

Samantha: What's that?

Erika: New Age, Sexy, MedaFighter.

Erika shows Samantha the cover.

Samantha: What does that do?

Erika: Its a new hits album I made with FOX for Ikki.

*

Dr. Aki was with Erika.

Erika: One thing that Ikki is missing is the sound of being a new age, sexy Medafighter. And
as his wife, I call him the world's sexiest new age Medafighter. How sexy do you think Ikki
is?

Dr. Aki: Ikki is your fantastic Medafighter.

*

Erika: And Ikki is said to be an embarrassment at home while at Robattles, what do you think?

Erika was next to Ikki's dog, Salty as he scratches himself.

*

Erika was with Mr. Referee looking at the single for a while, then Mr. Referee faces Erika.

Mr. Referee: We might need to give that some serious thought.

*

Metabee looks at the album.

Metabee: You got to add me into the cover of the single. Or the album when it is about to
be released. Plus it needs a bit of a Medabee's art on the cover. More Metabee in it!

*

Erika was with Karin and Koji.

Erika: You want to see a live demonstration of the music video for Ikki's single?

Karin: Sure.

*

Erika and Metabee were dancing and singing in front of the camera.

"Get down! Ikki, he's so cool!"

*

Erika and Metabee pulled Samantha and Peppercat into the camera to dance.

"Get up! Ikki, he's so hot!"

*

Erika and Metabee were dancing next to Dr.Aki getting a pudding.

"Get down! Ikki, get to the top!"

*

Erika and Metabee pointed to the right.

"Look out over there, its Mr. Referee!"

The camera faces Mr. Referee eating a cake.

*

Karin joins in with Erika and Metabee.

"Get down! Ikki, you're so hot."

*

Erika and Metabee were with Samantha and Peppercat.

"Get up! Ikki, you're so cool."

*

Erika and Metabee were behind Mr. Referee eating his cake.

"Get down! Ikki, get on the top!"

*

Erika: Now, that's is what I call a song for Ikki's single. Erika Tenryou for KNNNN.

~

Eriol: And espically after that news report, MedaFighters all over the world has the
confidence that Ikki can be the number 1 Medafighter from 40:60 to 50:50.

~

Ash: Yeah, and speaking to 50:50, Ikki has planned his life this way in a 40:40:20 order.
40% on Robattles, 40% on wife, KNNNN's Reporter Erika Tenryou and 20% on others.

~

Eriol: Which sounds good with the comparision of 50:50 and 40:40:20.

Kero: But look at the 20% hindsight. It would have made it a 60:40 in a way it is or 65:35.

~

Ash: Aw come on! I say 50:50 is better.

~

Kero: Oh yeah, how about 58:42 at the most?!

~

Ash: 48:52 is the furthest I could go!

~

Eriol: Does 55:45 sound alright?

Kero/Ash: Stay out of this, Eriol!

Kero: Ash, its 40% on Erika, 35% on Robattles and 25% on other things!

~

Ash: I say 20 on others, 40 on Robattles and 45 on Erika by 2010 or he'll lose!

~

Kero: Aw come on, that only adds up to 105%, you dense idiot!

~

Ash: We shall see about that. I'm taking out my calculator, you stuffed headed moron!

Ash takes out a calculator and started calculating.

~

Kero: And I still say that its 40:60 with a 30:40:30 and 60:20:20 by 2020 or the winning
streak would be ruined! Do the maths, Einstein!

Ash pops out of the top of the TV set.

Ash: Shut your trapdoor, you stuffed animal!

Kero started to fizz like a blank TV channel.

Ash: I say, 50:50, with 20, 40, 40 and 2035, 20, 4 and 1!

Eriol: Will both of you shut up! You're both for Pokemon Training, not Robattling!

Ash disappears as the TV screen changes into a blank channel and Eriol faces a camera and
gave his usual smile.

Eriol: We'll be back after a short break with Finance.

[KNNNN: Wir sogar sendung die Nachrichen in deutsch]

*Ad Break*

"Ever wonder what its like to be a KNNNN reporter?"

Erika was on camera.

Erika: When I first joined KNNNN as a War Correspondent in the Shinra War, I never thought
that I would made it back alive.

~

Erika was facing another camera.

Erika: I'm highly experienced, covering over 200 conflicts for KNNNN.

~

Erika looks at a lone photo frame.

Erika: The first boyfriend I had after I broke up with Ikki for the first time was the reason
why I still continue to strive as a reporter. My cameraman boyfriend and I infiltrated the
frontline in the Shinra Army, where he and I took exclusive pictures which got me an Anime
Award, at the cost of his life.

~

In the photo frame, Erika was next to a stick figure cameraman.

Erika: Then, the next two cameraman boyfriends I had didn't survive together with a sound
operator while I covered the wars in the MedaBots fighting arena, which got me another Anime
Award.

~

Erika puts the photo frame down.

Erika: After two years, I lost eight cameramen boyfriends, a boom mike operator and a
lighting director while I covered the Japan Fashion Week in Riverview. Their cause of their
deaths are still unknown.

~

In the background, Ikki was sneaking in the background carrying a sniper rifle.

Erika: But I open my heart for Ikki and married him. Ever since then, not one single
cameraperson got killed on the job. And because of that, I was the happiest reporter in the
world.

Kari walks to Erika from the side of the camera.

Kari: Alright, Erika. We got another news report to do.

Erika: Thanks.

[KNNNN: Its not only a job, its life.]

*End Ad Break*

*Money Wise, Stock Full*

[Eriol Hiragizawa - Newscaster. Email: eriol_h@knnnn.com]

Eriol: Welcome to Money Wise, Stock Full. I'm Eriol Hiragizawa. The Stocks started very low
when McAnimes stocks declined when Eli Moon downgraded the McMallet, saying that the burger
had nerves of steel. This move reflects on after a bunch of car thieves crashed into my
backyard all because they hated the recent opening of the Anime Sandwich Company, together
with wide load behind the Daidouji Corporation's parks and resorts. Add in some shreddings
of reports of real estates that are considered deadly and dangerous that rose 6% to the
most impossible rate of the 4 million mark to a 1.2 billion. And with a bunch of stuffed
animal eating tribesmen surveyed by www.moneywisestockfull.knnnn.com.com/ which made Kero's
fur frozen solid. So for more information www.moneywisestockfull.knnnn.com.com/. And after
the break, current affairs with Kero.

[KNNNN: We do not compromise vampires, so don't compromise news!]

*Ad Break*

On KNNNN for Kids, we have two super heroes who claims to be the strongest in the world,
Sakura and Sora! On today's episode, Sakura and Sora faces off against...the Destructive
Ditboo!

"Join me! Join me!"

"Sakura, Its Ditboo!"

A pink blob was behind Sora as both Sora and Sakura faces Ditboo. Then the Pink Blob moved
up to Sora's foot.

"Oh no! Sora!"

Sakura tries to pull Sora out of the pinkish blob.

"Will Sakura save Sora from the Destructive Ditboo? Find out more on..."

KNNNN for KIDS!

*

Kero: Some quick headlines before the next ad.

"Headline person, 20, searching for Gold Hercules-Beetle Medabot, who is willing to rejoin
him for World Robattle tournament."

"Yawning spreads around to ruin Pokemon Battle"

"Headlines goes momentarily wacky."

"Rookie goverment offical can't tell the diffrence between flat white and pure brown."

"Headlines have no clue what to put up here."

"And finally, Digimon wonders if guests on the Jefry Sprigler are actors."

*

McAnimes!

"People, guess what? This week McAnimes is going to the healthy lifestyle, starting by
having a change in the fats in the meat."

A black and white burger appeared.

"As you know, there are good fats and bad fats. The fats we originally used in our burgers
were known as trinitrotriathelene, but we stopped using them when there was scientific proof
for the fat could cause cancer."

A black and white burger was thrown into a bin.

"Now we use NEWFat, the alternative to the old one. NEWFat is a new experimental fat which
is tested and was a successful alternative to the old one. Now that's what we mean by
having a healthy lifestyle! So eat at..."

Li, Sakura, Misty, Sora and Ikki were at a table with trays of food at a McAnimes restraunt.

Li/Sakura/Misty/Sora/Ikki: MCANIMES! The only place to eat in the Anime world.

*End Ad Break*

*Current Affairs*

Kero: Welcome to Current affairs.

(Topic: Overpaid Executive Distributors)

Kero: Executive Distributors, they are one of the best people to distribute Animes.

~

In a Nelvana office, Metabee was in a business suit sitting at a desk.

"They are the men..."

Brass walks in dressed as a maid.

Brass: Ahem.

"And occasionally women, too. Alright, they are the people who have toiled in the
meetings and boardrooms just to distribute Animes."

~

4Kids, FOX and Nelvana signs popped up.

"But whenever one of these distributors hit the wall, Anime Viewers blame it on
such innocent TV like Cheez TV or YTV."

"This website has what Anime Viewers are believe to see from their distributors."

http://www.geocities.com/pikaflash_007/animecompari sion_before.jpg

"But look at this one. This is what the Anime Viewers themselves claim to see."

http://www.geocities.com/pikaflash_007/animecomparision_afte r.jpg

"What is there to complain about? Its the same show."

~

Kero walks into a costume shop.

Kero: I'm about to find a ridiculous outfit which tells you how stupid these Anime Viewers
are.

Kero walks in to a dressing room, closes the door. After a minute, Kero opens the door and
walks out dressed as a clown.

Kero: Now that's pretty ridiculous.

~

"Now, why can't people just face reality? I understand that we had seen buildings falling
down, mad bombers who couldn't care about human lives and cars that crash while speeding.
Just remember that these people are making money out of you as you watch their shows. The
more money they make, the more shows you see. Don't you get it?"

~

Kero: Its Email time and lets check email we recieved through the week.

*From Salior Multi (aka. Brass) in Riverview, she says that Nelvana owes her compensation
as she used to work for Nelvana before it collasped.*

*This letter, from Satoshi Kastumoto in Johto says that with WB Executives getting overpaid,
its no wonder no new episodes pop up on KidsWB.*

*And from Genki in another world, When is the next Monster Rancher Tournament?*

*Who wants to be Vampire Slayer?!*

[Kero Beros - Newscaster. Email: kero_b@knnnn.com]

Kero: Its time to get ready, get set, get on slaying! Its time to take the Buffy and Blade
Craze into the Digi-World in Who wants to be a Vampire Slayer?! To give a small outlook on
why this come up, here's a footage on why we're doing this.

~

[DBZ Territory Government Spooksperson]

Spooksperson: At the cost of one piece of sharp stick or silver bullet, the cost of a war
on Myotismon is less than what we originally thought. Removing Myotismon is welcome in
whatever form it takes.

~

Kero: Hear that? It means that its possible for us to go and kill Myotismon! Lets not forget
that Myotismon is a ruthless Vampire. Its vital that a vampire hunter or slayer goes in and
kill him. Because many countless governments from the DBZ Territory, DigiWorld and Kanto
(just to name a few) have been wanting to shed a bit of Myotismon's blood.

Kero picks up a silver stake and a wooden sword with Myotismon's name on it.

Kero: Don't delay, there's a US$1 million slaying bonaza to join in. And every contestant
recieves a free KNNNN silver stake and wooden sword, both with Myotismon's name on it!

~To Register:~

You must follow these steps:

1. Watch Buffy: The Vampire Slayer Movie
2. Watch Buffy: The Vampire Slayer Series
3. Watch Blade and Blade 2

~The Prizes:~

For playing a Vampire Hunter or Slayer, you get the chance to win:

- US$50, 000 just for secretly sneaking into Myotismon's castle.
- US$100, 000 to land a significant scratch on Myotismon.
- US$250, 000 for a slice of any piece of his skin.
- US$500, 000 for cutting off any arms or legs.
- US$1 million to a confirmed vampire slaying.

~

Kero: Alright, now our next...

*KNNNN interrupts this news report just to restore you back to your normal Fanfiction
reading. Thank you for reading KNNNN.*

News Crew:
Kero Beros [kero_b@knnnn.com] (Editor and Leading Commentator)
Eriol Hiragizawa [eriol_h@knnnn.com] (Commentator and Former Leading Correspondent)
Ash Ketchum [ash_k@knnnn.com] (Middle-level Correspondent and Investigative Journalist)
Erika Tenryou [erika_t@knnnn.com] (Experienced Correspondent and Investigative Journalist)
Tai Yagami [tai_y@knnnn.com] (Leading Investigative Journalist)
Brock Blockhead [brock_b@knnnn.com] (Weatherman)

Ad Crew:
Misty Ketchum
Sora Takenouchi
Li Syaoran
Ikki Tenryou
Sakura Avalon