Mirage Of Blaze Fan Fiction ❯ Cruel Paradise ❯ Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Mirage of Blaze, or any of it's characters. They belong to Kuwabara Mizuna.

Chapter 5

Yuzuru's eyes fluttered open as the bright morning sunshine shone upon him from the tree tops. He sat up, suddenly realizing he was alone. "Where's Takaya?" he mumbled aloud. His friend's motorcycle stood nearby, but there was no sign of him. Panicked, he jumped to his feet. He called out for him. When he heard no reply, he strained to hear. From his right, a quiet noise caught his attention. He waded through a thicket of bushes and into a clearing. Beyond, a drop-off overlooked the city. He smiled when he recognized his friend sitting near the edge. "Takaya?" he sighed with relief. "What are you doing here?"

Takaya didn't respond. His body shivered in the cold morning air.

"Are you alright?" Yuzuru's happiness faded to worry as he approached his friend.

When Takaya turned to look at him, Yuzuru gasped. He looks awful! Yuzuru knelt beside him, laying a hand on his shoulder. He's ice cold. "Have you been sitting here all night?" he asked.

Takaya didn't answer, but his swollen eyes and tear-stained cheeks indicated the depth of his despair. He'd spent the entire night worrying about Naoe, and what HE was doing all night. He wondered if Naoe was still angry with him and Yuzuru. Part of him hoped that he would come find him. At the same time, he feared for Yuzuru's safety if Naoe did.

Yuzuru put his arms around his despondent friend. "Everything will be alright. You said so, yourself."

"Why do you believe everything I say?" Takaya snapped. "Don't listen to me! I don't know what the hell I'm talking about! All I do is hurt people!" he cried out.

Yuzuru was shocked by his friend's outburst. "That's not true," he assured him. "You've never hurt me."

Takaya jumped to his feet. "Oh, haven't I?" he shouted. "I HAVE hurt you!"

Yuzuru stared up at his friend with bewilderment. "How do you mean?" he asked. He rose to his feet.

"I'm such a fucking asshole!" Takaya snarled. "Everything that's happened these last few days is because of me!" He clenched his fists and let out a guttural roar. "I can't keep it all inside anymore! I'm losing my fucking mind!"

Yuzuru was alarmed. He'd never seen him like this before. "It's not your fault. Naoe is to blame."

"How's it Naoe's fault?" Takaya scoffed.

"Because he doesn't understand...."

Takaya cut him off. "No. I'm the one to blame," he insisted. "I kissed you the other night, and that was wrong because I was thinking about Naoe," he said, trying to keep his emotions under control. "Naoe was who I really wanted to kiss." Takaya looked down, too humiliated to make eye contact with his friend. Why am I telling him all of this?

Yuzuru smiled. "I know that. I didn't mind. I'm your best friend."

"Would you stop it, Yuzuru?" Takaya hollered. "Quit making excuses for my behavior!" He inhaled deeply. "Don't you understand? I've been using you as a way to distance myself from Naoe. I didn't mean to do it, but...." he paused. "Instead of kissing Naoe, I kissed you. Instead of looking for Naoe during those few days he was gone, I found comfort with you. That way I didn't have to risk him knowing that I missed him." Takaya looked Yuzuru in the eyes. "Now, do you understand? I've treated you unfairly, and I'm truly sorry for that." He sniffled. "And then last night..." his voice trailed off.

It hurt Yuzuru to see his friend like this. "Takaya," he whispered. "Last night wasn't your fault." He reached to stroke Takaya's face, but Takaya pulled away.

"Last night..." Takaya groaned. "Last night was the worst thing I've ever done." Physically attacking Naoe in the bathroom like that. Even though I did it to protect Yuzuru, I still feel horrible.

"Stop it!" Yuzuru demanded. "If you're going to blame someone, blame me!"

Takaya shook his head. "No," he sighed. He shut his eyes and thought about the previous day. He couldn't suppress the coy smile that formed on his lips as he remembered the adrenaline rush of being pursued by Naoe. His body ached with longing when he thought about the things Naoe did to him after he'd finally caught him. "All he ever did was try to protect me," he mumbled sadly.

Yuzuru studied Takaya as he talked about Naoe. I was right. He did let Naoe have him. It's written all over his face.

"And how do I repay him?" Takaya clawed his fingers into the smooth skin of his own arms. "I avoid him. I know that it hurts him, but I can't help myself." Red welts formed on his skin as his fingers dug into his arms. I have things I want to say to him, but I'm unable to. The words get stuck in my throat. He chuckled and shook his head. "And once again, I'm putting everything on you, Yuzuru. Why can't I open up to Naoe like this?"

Takaya continued. "When you showed up last night and barged into the bathroom, it hurt Naoe because I wouldn't let him in. I should've just opened the door right away. Then, he wouldn't have gotten so angry," he explained.

"Stop clawing yourself," Yuzuru demanded as he grabbed Takaya's hands to still them. How can I keep Takaya away from Naoe when he's this upset without him? "Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm the one at fault for barging in uninvited."

Takaya shook his head. "That's not true. Naoe was angry at you, but only because of misunderstandings due to my actions. When you came to the hotel last night, I have to admit, I probably could've calmed him down, but instead, I ran away." The only way I could've calmed Naoe down would've been for me to tell him how I feel. That's why I left.

Yuzuru sympathized. He, too, was confused. On one hand, Takaya seemed to need Naoe, who kept him calm and content, something that even he couldn't do. But ever since Naoe had shown up, it seemed like Takaya had been put in one dangerous situation after another. Like the incident at their school when Ranmaru trapped them with an absorption spell. Takaya could've easily been killed along with Naoe and Haruie had he not shown up with Chiaki to save them. But in another incident, Naoe did manage to free Takaya's soul from the Tsutsuga mirror, and for that Yuzuru was thankful. Still, he couldn't help but long for the days when their friendship was simple- no exorcisms, warlords, or Naoe. He felt a twinge of guilt trying to keep Takaya away from Naoe. Naoe and Kagetora had such a long history together. Did he have the right to interfere? And something else bothered him about Naoe. "What about Naoe and that bright light in the hotel room?" he asked Takaya. "What was he trying to do?"

"I can answer that," a voice came from behind them.

They both whirled around to see who it was. They were surprised to see Chiaki step toward them from the trees.

"Chiaki?" Takaya said, surprised. Shit! How long has he been standing there?

"How did you find us?" Yuzuru asked.

Chiaki pointed at Yuzuru's wrist. "The Hakkudarani wristband." He shot Takaya a serious look. "Naoe told me what happened."

"Did he tell you that he tried to hurt me?" Yuzuru blurted.

Chiaki turned to Yuzuru. "I think it was the other way around," he stated matter-of-factly.

Yuzuru's eyes widened. "That's not true!" he shouted defensively. "I didn't do anything!" Did I? He tried hard to recall exactly what happened.

"I'm sure you don't remember doing it, but you did." Chiaki crossed his arms. "Naoe was unconscious all night," he smirked. I guess he forgot who he was messing with.

"He was?" Takaya asked anxiously. "Is he alright?" His heart pounded at the thought of Naoe being hurt.

Chiaki glared at him. "Despite what you might think, I didn't come here to talk about you and Naoe. I wanted to make sure Yuzuru was staying out of trouble," he answered. "When Naoe told me what happened, I wanted to find out why Yuzuru used his powers, and if it was accidental or intentional." It appears it was accidental. He shook his head. "You and Naoe need to grow up. How many years can you play the same fucking games?"

Takaya turned to Yuzuru. "I need to go to Naoe and make sure he's okay." He gently squeezed his shoulder. "Thanks for being a good friend. If I didn't have you to talk to, I'd probably be insane by now."

Yuzuru grabbed Takaya's arm. "I won't let you go to him!"

Takaya stared at him in disbelief. Where was that sweet, innocent expression that Yuzuru always had? "I have to!"

"I won't let him hurt you," Yuzuru said. "If something were to happen to you, I'd just...." he stopped. "As your best friend, I can't let you go."

Chiaki stared at them with annoyance. What the hell? "Dammit, Yuzuru!" he shouted. "Let him go! You can't keep those two apart!" He pointed his finger at Yuzuru. "Like I told you before, you spoil him. That's part of the problem!"

Yuzuru glared at Chiaki. "Shut up!" he yelled angrily. "I don't care what you say! I'm going to protect my friend!"

Chiaki shook his head. This is bad. Really bad.

Takaya tried to reason with his friend. "Let go. Naoe won't hurt me," he whispered, as he tried to pry Yuzuru's hand from his arm. He let out a defeated sigh when he realized that Yuzuru had no intention of letting go. He didn't want to wrestle with his friend to free himself.

Yuzuru's eyes suddenly widened. He jerked Takaya into his arms and buried his head in the crook of Takaya's neck. "He's here," he whispered hoarsely.

"What?" Takaya asked. At that moment, he turned to see a disheveled Naoe approaching them. Takaya had never seen him in such a state of disarray. His hair was uncombed, and he wasn't even wearing a tie or his jacket; just his slacks and white, long-sleeved shirt. The moment Naoe's piercing eyes met his, his emotions filled him with so much distress that he thought he might collapse. God, he's attractive, even when he's filled with anger.

Chiaki blocked Naoe from passing. "This is ridiculous!" he shouted at him. "You're really pissing me off! You and Takaya, both!" He grabbed Naoe. "We can't risk having Yuzuru unleash his power! You of all people should understand the consequences!"

Naoe glared at Chiaki. "Move!" he ordered.

Takaya didn't like Naoe's confrontational stance. He yanked free of Yuzuru's grip. "Go! Stand over there!" he shouted as he pointed to a large nearby rock.

Yuzuru scrambled to the rock. He watched Naoe with fear, wondering what he could do to his friend. "Be careful, Takaya," he cautioned. He hoped his friend had a plan. He glared at Naoe. If he tries to hurt you, I'll kill him.

Chiaki finally gave up and let Naoe pass. He ran to Yuzuru. I have to get him out of here somehow.

Takaya's heart raced as Naoe approached. His predatory expression scared him. Relief flooded him when Naoe headed toward him instead of Yuzuru. Yuzuru was safe for the moment. "Think," he scolded himself. He could try to run away with Yuzuru, but that wasn't really a plausible option. After his experience the previous day, he knew Naoe would chase them until he caught them.

As Naoe neared, Takaya backed up a little, visibly shaken. This is all my fault. Knowing that he was the cause of all of Naoe's anger made him feel terrible. How could he do such a thing to this man? This man that he....loved. Loved? I'm so sorry Naoe.

His eyes blurred with tears as he edged toward the cliff. He glanced over at Yuzuru, who watched him with a terror-stricken expression.

Takaya had himself to blame for that too. He'd managed to hurt the only two people in the world that he cared about. An overwhelming sadness washed over him. I don't know how to fix this. He continued to back away as Naoe closed the distance between them.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Chiaki approach Yuzuru. He couldn't hear what he said. His world seemed to crumble around him.

Takaya turned. The cliff's edge was only a couple of feet away. He looked at Naoe again. Nowhere left to run. Suddenly, it occurred to him. It wasn't Naoe he feared. It was himself! This whole time, he'd been running from himself; away from his feelings for Naoe. How had he not seen this before? He glanced at the edge again.

Naoe stopped dead in his tracks. Don't you fucking dare! You better not be thinking about jumping off. His body trembled with fear. A tear rolled down his cheek. "Takaya," he pleaded. "I'm sorry." Would you rather jump to your death than be with me? He waited for Takaya to accept his apology.

"Don't apologize," Takaya muttered, irritated that Naoe was taking the blame. It's not your fault. He stared at the ground, holding back the tears.

Yuzuru watched the two men. He wondered what was going to happen. Surely, his friend had a solution. He could usually get out of any situation.

For several minutes, none of them spoke. Naoe didn't move any closer, fearful that Takaya would actually jump. All he wanted to do was pull him away from the edge and comfort him. Just this once, can't you cast aside your pride? He was disappointed that Takaya refused to even look up at him. Naoe heaved a sad sigh. There was nothing more he could do.

Much to Takaya's surprise, Naoe suddenly turned on his heels and walked away into the trees. Where are you going? He fell to his knees, and buried his face in his hands. As much as he wanted to run after Naoe, he couldn't do it. His heart sank when he heard Naoe's car in the distance. "No!" he yelled. "Don't leave!" He burst into tears.

Yuzuru watched his friend sob inconsolably. He felt helpless knowing that nothing he said would ease Takaya's pain. He was surprised that Naoe hadn't hurt his friend. Now, he felt guilty for thinking he would. He jumped when he felt Chiaki's hand on his shoulder.

"I'm taking you home," Chiaki said quietly. "There's nothing we can do to help those two."

Yuzuru turned to look at Chiaki. "We're just leaving him here?"

"That's right," Chiaki answered. "Now get your things."

Yuzuru glared at him. "We can't leave him. Look how upset he is." How could you be so cruel?

Chiaki grabbed Yuzuru. "I mean it. Butt out. Getting involved will only make things worse."

Takaya rose to his feet unsteadily, and approached the two men. "Yuzuru. Go with Chiaki. I'll call you later," he said. "You're my best friend, but I..." he stopped.

"It's okay. I'll go," Yuzuru patted his friend's back. He still didn't completely trust Naoe, but Takaya did, and maybe that's all that mattered. As Takaya's best friend, he had to support his decisions. Even when he didn't agree with them. "Tell Naoe that I'm sorry for barging into his hotel room."

Takaya walked to his bike. Sorry, Yuzuru, but I won't be able to pass your apology on to Naoe because I'm not going to chase him.

Yuzuru sadly watched Takaya go. Surely, he'd be able to straighten everything out with Naoe. He was sure that Naoe would be able to calm Takaya down, as he'd always been able to do. After he gathered his belongings, he climbed into Chiaki's car.

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to be continued....

Author's Note: Thanks for continuing to read this story, and thanks for the reviews! ^_^