Mirage Of Blaze Fan Fiction ❯ Let It Rain ❯ Let It Rain ( One-Shot )

Let It Rain

Naoe/Takaya

Rating: PG 13

Genre: angst/fluff

Copyrights:

Mirage of Blaze (C) Kuwabara Mizuna

Let it Rain (C) Tracy Chapman

Disclaimer:

I have no authorizations for the use of Mirage of Blaze or for Miss Chapman's fine lyrics. This is a pure work of non-profit fan fiction and nothing else, m'kay? Thank you. ^^

A/N: If you're not familiar with the term, 'yankee' is a word for troublemakers and "gangsters" in Japanese schools. ( Learned it from Fruits Basket. :D )

English isn't my first language. And I'm slightly dyslexic. Please bear. ^^;;;

*_*_*_*_*

//Let it rain

as I walk these streets unknown

to no one named

not even myself

when I'm low//

The rain was taking out its anger that night. Combined with the raging wind it was lashing heavy drops against anyone and anything, leaving the deserted streets flooding as the sewers and ditches were filled to their brim. To those with a tendency to be poetic about things, it might have seemed as if the world was being drowned.

To Takaya, it was only another pain in the ass.

"Fuck", he grunted, kicking an empty can as he jogged on. The can flew about ten meters ahead of him before ricochetting off the side of a small bus stop. Takaya quickly took refuge inside it and sat down on a relatively dry bench, leaned back, and tried to catch his breath.

I guess I should have taken an umbrella after all,he thought as he absentmindedly inspected how drenched he was. Both his jeans and jacket were soaked through and the thin t-shirt underneath was glued to his skin. Black hair hung in front of his eyes, dripping water down the pale cheeks. He looked as if he had taken a dive in a river. But as regrettable as his state was now, the rain hadn't exactly been the biggest of Takaya's concerns when he had stormed out of the apartment.

He pushed the wet bangs away from his face, licked his lips and sighed. His mouth was dry from running. Takaya fixed his gaze on the railing across the road and felt the fatigue settling in.

I bet Miya's worried sick.

Takaya cringed as the thought crept up to him. He felt like punching himself. Why had he had to get into another fight with the old man?

It had never been uncommon in the Ougi household for the father and son to start arguments out of the blue, the topics circling mainly around Takaya's yankee-like behaviour and negligence towards school. Before he had just shrugged it all off because the fighting only upset his sister more than was necessary. It wasn't like he even cared what his dad thought of him. The man's opinions had lost their value years ago.

But, like many things those days, ignoring the words his father spilled out in the stupor of a few too many had become much harder than before. Takaya closed his eyes as the memory of the fight came back to him.

The scorching white anger as he stood up and strode out of the kitchen and straight out without saying a word, having barely time to grab his jacket. Miya's voice echoing somewhere in the background, pleading him to stay, saying something about the weather outside. All of these things fading away as the dark figure of his father came into view, leaning unsteadily across the table. And an enraged, slightly trembling voice rang in his ears, repeating the stabbing words over and over again...

"No son of mine...!"

Takaya opened his eyes and watched the rain fall. A bitter smile rose to his lips.

"At least you got that right, old man."

//Let it go

no mother no father no home

forget as all others

have forgotten

when I'm alone//

It had already been about a year since the revelation of his position as the leader of lord Uesugi Kenshin's coven of Possessors and their mission to rid the world from feudal era spirits. Almost a year since he had found out that he was not, as he had always believed, Ougi Takaya, but in fact lord Uesugi Kagetora, adopted son of lord Kenshin, a Possessor... and a murderer.

A lone car dashed by, nearly splashing water on Takaya's feet. He hardly even noticed.

No matter how many times Naoe and the others had tried to explain the necessity of possessing to him, Takaya couldn't see any nobility in taking over another person's body and forcing the rightful occupant out of it, robbing the spirit from a life it had been destined to have. Even if he had somewhat come to terms with everything else over the past twelve months, it still gnawed him to think that there had once been a real Takaya, a one who had been meant to sit at their table in his stead and have home-cooked meals with Miya and fights with his dad, if they had had fights at all...

Takaya stared at the dark, the pounding of the downpour resounding in his ears. Thinking back on it now, the past year had felt as if, revelation after revelation, the ground beneath his feet had been gradually eroded away so that finally he had found himself standing on nothing but ancient lies and conspiracies, all woven hundreds of years before his birth. It was frustrating beyond words, and Takaya would have gladly run away from it all.

But I can't, now can I? Because they all count on me. Or,he laughed inwardly, at least they count on their high and mighty Kagetora. Chiaki, Haruie... and Naoe.

Takaya's heart skipped a beat at the thought and he cursed himself. There was no reason for him to get all light-headed because of a man who had in more than one way made Takaya's life the mess it was those days. But despite himself, he couldn't keep the image of the silver-haired man from appearing in front of him.

That tall figure dressed in a dark suit, and a calming presence that usually emited from him when they were together. And a pair of grey eyes that seemed to engulf Takaya if their gaze stayed fixed on him for too long. Sometimes the look in them was scolding, sometimes understanding, sometimes dark with an emotion Takaya couldn't quite understand. Demanding, wanting... they viewed him almost like they would a prey. It always rose an unexplained anxiety in the younger man, no matter how much he would have wanted to deny it.

But the one look in Naoe's eyes that made Takaya feel especially weak and feeble, that got his heart racing for an instant's infinity, was the silent, melancholic gentleness that appeared in them from time to time, mostly whenever the man spoke softly to him in words that left Takaya feeling all giddy and breathless like a school girl. He hated it, the insecurity and frailness it made him feel, and at the same time he had started to live for those moments. Incomprehensible feelings spiralled inside of him.

But it's not like I'm even the one he sees. It's Kagetora he wants. And all that he's done for me, all the things he's said and all the looks, they were all meant for him. I'm just... an intermediary. A substitute. Takaya bit down hard as he suddenly felt tears welling up in his eyes. There was no fucking way he would start crying about it. A weak laughter escaped his lips.

"Pathetic", he whispered to the night, and shivered. His body was beginning to notice the cold, and his fingers were already going numb. A much worse frost had invaded his heart, though, along with bitterness. Tired golden eyes turned their gaze to the black night sky that was still pouring itself on the world. All will and strength had suddenly escaped from the raven-haired boy, along with warmth and resolution. What was left of him was only an empty shell that echoed from exhaustion, and acceptance against defeat.

Maybe I should just give in, he thought, slightly trembling. He blamed it on the cold. If I'm not Ougi Takaya then I shouldn't pretend to be him, should I? And there isn't anyone who even WANTS me to be Takaya. All they need is Kagetora...

The black sky above him seemed like a mirror image to his soul.

If I lose myself and become Kagetora, can I be with him?

//But give me hope

that help is coming

when I need it most//

Takaya was positively shivering by now. The rain was finally starting to subside but the wind was still very much alive, cutting painfully through Takaya's soaked garments. I should move, I'll freeze here, he thought, feeling slightly feverish. His teeth were clattering. The boy stood up, tried to make his stiffened legs move sufficiently enough and headed onward again. Or began to, anyway.

He hadn't taken ten steps when another car flashed by him. Takaya didn't give it much thought, not even as the sound of it screeching to a halt reached his ears. A car door swung open behind him.

"Takaya-san!"

He froze to where he stood, then akwardly turned around. A familiar green car had halted at the bus stop and a tall figure had emerged from the driver-side front seat. Takaya felt a soft sting in his chest.

Naoe.

"... what are you doing here?" He tried make his voice nonchalant and steady, but the effect was somewhat ruined by his shivering. As the man walked up to him Takaya kept his gaze fixed on the ground, not daring to face him yet.

"I called to check up on you", Naoe replied as he halted a few meters away from the boy. "Then I heard from Miya-san that you had run off earlier and that she didn't know where you were. I promised her I would go looking for you." Takaya could feel the scolding look that was cast upon him. "She was extremely worried about you."

"She shouldn't have been. As you can see I'm fine", Takaya snapped at the man. "Sorry to have wasted your time."

"She also asked me to bring you home if I found you." Naoe's voice had turned stern and cold and for the second time that evening Takaya felt the impulse to smack himself. It doesn't matter anyway, he told himself and turned to leave. "Too bad 'cos I've no intention of going back there right now. See ya."

"Takaya-san!"

His arm was captured by a tight grip and he found himself face to face with Naoe. Takaya's heart throbbed painfully when he saw the angry expression on the man's face. Then he felt the grip loosening.

"You're soaked", Naoe said, finally noticing the boy's drenched state. The concern in his voice stung Takaya more than the anger in it before.

"No shit", he replied irritably. "Now let me go." But the man kept his hand firmly on Takaya's arm, and Takaya felt powerless to break free himself. He'd been trying to repress the shivering in his body but couldn't help it anymore and let out a quivering breath.

"And you're shaking!"

"So what, it's none of your business!" Takaya tried to yank his arm free but Naoe only snatched his other arm captive as well. The look in the grey eyes was uncompromising.

"You're coming with me."

"I told you, I'm not-"

"You don't have to go home. I'm sure Miya-san will be just as relieved to know that you're well and safe even if you don't go back there tonight. But I am not going to leave you here to wander around in this weather." Naoe locked their gazes to emphasize his point. "So you're going to hop in the car and then we'll think what to do next. Understood?"

There was no point trying to struggle now. Takaya knew he had been left without a choice and he felt feeble in the silver-haired man's grasp. He averted his gaze and after a while mumbled: "...fine."

Only after that did Naoe let go of him, and they walked to the car together.

When they had both gotten inside there was a moment's silence when they just sat there. Takaya tried to look as defiant as he could in his lousy state and cursed his luck. To run into the one person he most fervently didn't want to see... "How did you find me, anyway? Was it just dumb luck or..." His voice trailed off. What does it matter?

Naoe was silent for a while and when Takaya glanced at him there was a kind of a half-smile on the man's face. "I had this... feeling. Somewhere inside of me I knew where I needed to go to find you. It was as if your soul had been calling out to me."

Takaya felt his heart start racing again and he turned his gaze away. Of course, he sulked inwardly, it must be the same thing that happened during our first battle with Takeda. At that time, when Takaya had been trying to exorcise the spirit of Takeda Shingen's wife, Naoe had been fighting Takeda himself, and had mentally called out to Takaya. And the boy had heard it somehow, and rushed to the scene. So my inner ramblings called him to me. Figures. Takaya's mental self-bashing was interrupted when he heard Naoe shifting in his seat. The man had taken his coat off. "What are you doing?"

Naoe handed the coat to him. "You'd better change into this. It's still drier than that jacket of yours."

Then it finally happened, the thing Takaya had been dreading the most: he blushed.

"Thanks", mumbled, grabbing the coat and hoping that Naoe hadn't seen his face in the darkness. But the man instantly leaned closer and placed his hand on Takaya's forehead. "You're not feverish, are you? You're all flushed."

The cool touch on him seemed to burn and prickle. Exasperated, Takaya pushed the man away. "Stop it!"

Pale eyes looked at him, questioning and alarmed. "Takaya-san..?"

"Don't..." His heart was suddenly a painful tumor in his chest. Why does he have to do this? Why does he have to be like this? I can't take it. I can't pretend anymore. He couldn't stop himself.

"Don't do this. Don't act as if you care about me or anything. I know it's fake."

"What are you-"

"Shut up!" Disarrayed thoughts ran through his head and he couldn't have cared less of what he was saying anymore. He was walking into a black hole and he knew it. "All of you are just waiting for me to disappear so you could get your precious Kagetora back!" The youth shook from anger and fatigue. He buried his face in his hands and then continued hoarsely: "Admit it... I'm not the real Takaya and not even Kagetora, I'm just someone who should never have been so I might as well go away..."

His voiced finally trailed off. The welled up tears broke free and started gathering in the palms of his hands, and only the drizzling rain and Takaya's repressed sobbing broke the silence. I'm so pathetic. Just pathetic. I've ruined everything. How are we supposed to go on after this-

Then gently, carefully, his hands were taken away from his face and held as if they were more fragile than glass roses. "Please... don't..."

Naoe let go of the boy's other hand, holding the other one its palm open. He trailed across it with his index finger.

"Takaya-san... Do you know whose lifeline this is?"

//Let it come

love that lifts me up

pain that brings me down

everything I'd ever want and don't

when I'm not strong//

What? Confused, Takaya glanced down. His hand lay on Naoe's, slightly soaked by tears. He saw the line the man was pointing at and realized he hadn't given it much thought before. It went nearly all across his palm. He had to swallow a few times before he could speak again. "It's... this body's... the-"

"It's yours."

Takaya looked up and met his gaze with the one that ate his soul the most. The cold inside of him seemed to melt away as Naoe took both of the boy's hands into his, caressing them gently before speaking again.

"It may be that you are lord Uesugi Kagetora and that this body was originally meant for someone else than you. But", he paused and smiled softly, "those things have nothing to do with the life you have lived up until now. Right now, you are and always have been, Ougi Takaya. And nobody will ever ask you to become anyone else. Least of all me."

"Na-" The name got stuck in his throat when the man lifted the hand he held to his lips and planted a light kiss on Takaya's lifeline. The sensation ran through the young man's body and he shivered from something very different than cold. All the bottled up emotions he'd been holding in for so long surfaced, restrained only by the insistent voice of disbelief. The whole evening was turning out to be a bit too much for him.

This is a dream. This can't be. "Stop joking around", he tried feebly.

"I'm not", Naoe murmured, leaning closer and reaching to wipe away some of the tears that glistened on Takaya's cheeks.

"If you're just..." The sudden closeness was making Takaya's head spin. Through closed eyes he could feel Naoe's breath against his skin.

"I'm not", the man whispered and closed the gap between their lips.

Raindrops tapped gently on the windshield.

Incense and tobacco, and something that could only be labelled as Naoe. Those were the scents and tastes that now filled every fiber of Takaya's being as soft, warm lips delicately invited him to surrender completely. The boy let out a small groan when Naoe wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer, deepening their kiss. The pounding of his heart sounded like an ocean in his ears. Had he died that very moment, he wouldn't have noticed a thing.

This has to be a dream. But it wasn't, and Takaya found himself melting underneath the demanding yet gentle caress of Naoe's lips, sinking deeper into the depths of bliss.

Eventually they had to break it off, and Takaya buried his face in the nape of Naoe's neck, his breath heavy and trembling. Happiness was flowing through his body and the only coherent thought in his head was Naoe...

"Do you still not want to go home?" Naoe whispered, his breathing taxed as well.

"... yeah." He didn't want anything ruining the lovely chaos of emotions in his head.

"Then", Naoe pulled away so that he could look Takaya in the eye, "would you like to come to my place?"

A deep blush rose to the boy's face and he averted his gaze, fingers toying with Naoe's collar. "For the night?"

"So you would have a place to sleep." There was an assuring emphasis at the end of the sentence. Takaya lifted his gaze to meet Naoe's and rewarded him with a rare smile and a last shy and hesitant kiss.

"Sure. Why not."

Inside of him, waves were crashing gently.

//Let it rain

let it flood these streets wash me away

to where it makes no difference who I am

or what the future holds

when I don't know//

~owari~

A/N: I'd been thinking of writing a fic like this for a while but only after hearing Chapman's song did the idea get some kind of a form to start from. Actually, I've been in a bit of a slump with writing so this is my first fic in a LONG time. ^^;;; It's my first song fic and also my first try at MoB so be nice. :D ( PLEASE REVIEW! Especially if you think the fic was no damn good. )

This one grew out of its cage. Its too freakin' long! And its mainly just Takaya angsting and I'm not that good at writing inner thoughts and other ramblings. I always get distracted by some small detail and I end up making a big deal over nothing. I'm much better at writing the fluffy bits ( I think/hope ). But since we're talking about Mirage of Blaze you can't just do a straightforward fluff piece. There has to be at least SOME "plot" in it. *sighs* But I guess I just made it another one of my diabetic killers, anyway. I live for romance! Is that a crime?!

About Takaya's father: I have NO idea whether he's alive or not in the original story. I gather that his mother's dead since she isn't even mentioned in the anime, but I kinda understood that his father was still in the picture. And I certainly don't know whether he drinks or not, again, that's just the impression I got. If I'm wrong about these things please, do inform me. I'll be forever grateful.