Nadesico Fan Fiction ❯ Chasing the Darkness ❯ [04] Broken Reunions ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: Um…. The usual. Do I have to put these on every chapter?

PART FOUR: Broken Reunions

******

Akito made it a point never to use chulips to travel. It was a risky business, and pretty much everything that could go wrong while using one had happened to him. But with Lapis's doctored genes and Akito's nano-capabilities, the Eucharis was relatively easy to jump using TCs. And even without the TC's, Akito was confident he could make a jump safely.

Lapis was pointedly not speaking to him when he entered the bridge and sat down in his chair. He took a moment to note that this was the first time she had ever had enough independent feeling of her own that it actually occurred to her to be angry. That fact checked his attitude. When someone is angry with you, they seem more like a person and less like a machine.

"We're going home." he said. Apologies weren't necessary, because she already knew how he felt. He hesitated, but continued after a pause, "You'll finally get to meet them."

"Meet who?" she asked coldly. Akito frowned.

"You don't actually think I don't know how obsessed you are with them?"

"If I am, it's because you are obsessed with them."

"Maybe I am."

Lapis sighed and her anger subsided. At least he was confiding in her again. Confiding everything except that one dark corner of his mind; the one so carefully covered that even her gentle probing couldn't get to it. That was were he kept his most treasured memories, and something else that she hadn't been able to identify. It hurt her that he had no problem letting her see all his nightmares and traumas, but wouldn't give her the pleasure of simple memories like birthdays and childhood moments and the antics of his dearest friends. She supposed he thought it was none of her business. She didn't think he would do something like that on purpose, so she forgave him, but the lack of happiness in her past made her irritated with him, all the same.

******

"Everything's going fine, Captain." Mayumi reported. "Energy output is normal--beam cannon will be stabilized in thirty seconds...twenty five seconds..."

"Just tell us if something goes wrong." Erina snapped. Mayumi blushed.

"Um, incoming Aestivallis. Three of them."

"They stole our pilots' Aestis!" Mikako said indignantly. "How rude!"

"What did you think they were going to do with them?" Erina began.

"Stay focused, everyone." Yurika commented, ending the situation smoothly. Then her eyes widened and she gasped.

"What was that?" she breathed, putting her hands to her ears in an effort to ward off the ripples in the air by her head.

"Captain!" Jun's face appeared. "Akatsuki...just...boson jumped...." he sounded slightly dazed.

"Complete success, Erina." Akatsuki's voice crackled through a static strewn window. "You're to be commended if everything else works as well."

Erina looked as if she had just been granted the Nobel Prize. And in her own mind, perhaps she already had.

"You screwed with Akatsuki's genes?" Eri asked in amazement. "He let you do that?"

"It's only temporary." Erina said smugly, but her eyes were shining. "The nanomachines are programmed to die off in his bloodstream and his DNA will return to normal. If I'm right, that is, but I have been so far. I'll have made the first non-Martian jump possible." Yes, she was definitely after the Nobel Prize. Yurika decided not to tell the elated woman that forcing a jump like that was going to take more out of the jumper than it was worth. Akatsuki would find his reflexes seriously lacking should he be pressed into a battle. But there was something more urgent than that tugging at her thoughts.

"Where is he now?" she asked, eyebrows drawing together suspiciously.

"Currently, in between the Nadesico C and the Nadesico's distortion field." Mayumi reported. "He punched a hole straight through the hangar and has been continuing to damage other non-essential systems for the past two minutes."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Erina snapped.

"You told me only to report when something went wrong."

Mikako had to smother her giggles when she saw Erina's exasperated face.

"Um, Captain?" Jun asked suddenly. "I thought there weren't any A-class jumpers on the C."

"There aren't!" Erina turned the brunt of her annoyance towards him.

"The Nadesico C is preparing to boson jump." Mayumi said. "I take it that constitutes 'something wrong?'"

"Just forget what I said!" Erina shouted, but Yurika overpowered her.

"Akatsuki, get out of there now!" she ordered.

"Already gone." Akatsuki's window vanished, as did Jun's.

"Everyone please be quiet." Yurika addressed the crew on the bridge. "I'm going to track the jump."

"Can she do that?" Eri whispered to Mikako, who shrugged.

"Guess so."

After that, a tense silence settled in the room. Glowing lines appeared, framing Yurika's face, and she shut her eyes in complete concentration. Through the main window, the crew could see the Nadesico C being bathed in white light, and then...

"Akito?!" Yurika's eyes snapped open and her face stopped shining abruptly. The Nadesico C disappeared, and everyone could tell that Yurika hadn't succeeded in tracking it.

"Eri, call Akito now." she said shortly, brows knit in deep thought.

"He's not answering-- all I'm getting is static." Eri replied apologetically.

"Keep trying."

******

"Hi, everyone!" Yurika's brilliantly smiling face greeted the members of the Nadesico B. "I'm glad you made it in time!"

"In time?" Ruri glanced at her sensors, which were picking up nothing. "In time for what?"

"The show, of course!" The window changed views to a screen that looked like it had been colored by a preschooler.

******

(Yes, here it is again.)

"5"

"4"

"3"

"2"

"1"

*Pop!*

Yurika:Welcome to the second "How and Why of Nadesico!" Two in one fanfic! Wow! The author must be having a tough time explaining things!

Ines:Understandable, considering that time travel is involved.

Yurika: Well, now it's our turn-- so sit back and we'll tell you what's going on! Where should we start?

Ines: We'll start with the Artifact.

Yurika: Everything seems to start with the Artifact.

Ines: In this show, anyway. The Artifact is still a mystery to us. We don't know exactly what it does or what its purpose is, even though we're learning fast. Well, several things about the Nadesico A's jump were eerie coincidences, and all these little things contributed to a major discovery.

Yurika (pouting): You're as bad at this as the author is.

Ines: That was just the introduction. Here's the confusing stuff:

Time follows a line, and human beings cannot go backwards or forwards along that line. But to the Artifact, time has no meaning. So by boson jumping it is possible to travel to other times. Usually all boson jumps take place during the present time, but by deciding to move to a different time then the Artifact will oblige the jumper. It doesn't have to be a conscious decision-- simply wishing to move to the past will make it happen.

Yurika: You and I and Akito have all jumped to the past before. But we couldn't do anything then to change what was happening. If the Nadesico went to the past because I wished to be able to stop the Successors from taking over, why were we actually able to attack them?

Ines: Because every other time we were all out of place. When Akito jumped two weeks to the past, he could not prevent Seelie's disappearance because the Akito that was supposed to be in that time was still there. For years, scientists have been speculating what would happen if a person was to meet himself. So far, the Artifact has made sure that that paradox has not happened, and it looks like it intends to keep things that way.

Yurika: But why was this jump any different?

Ines: It is my theory that reality branches endlessly in a tangle of directions. Sometimes our reality crisscrosses with other realities. Usually, since the realities are separated by time, there are no consequences in this intersection. But when Yurika jumped the Nadesico A, trying to get to Serandala, a Yurika in the past was trying to jump from Serandala to Earth. They were trying to jump through the same chulip, to get to opposite sides. The Yurika in the present was wishing to rewind time; the Yurika in the past had figured out she was in the past and was trying to get back to the present. The realities were crossing and because time doesn't matter to the Artifact, each was able to get her wish.

Everyone collectively: ...

Ines: *sigh* When the Nadesicos changed places, they gave an exact exchange of molecules. There was only one Nadesico A in each time still. Each ship was able to act without restriction on their actions, because there was no danger of anyone meeting themselves...

******

"But what about Seelie and the others?" Eri asked, cocking her head to the side curiously.

"Shh!" Mikako scolded. "I'm still trying to understand the boson jump to the past thing."

"We launched the Nadesico A on Earth today." Akatsuki whispered to them. "When we jumped to Serandala, Yurika accidentally switched our Nadesico with the Nadesico that existed yesterday. Then we accidentally attacked the Nadesico C yesterday before the Successors took over. Yurika figured out what was going on, and we went back to Serandala to send us back to today."

"Oh." the girls gave him a blank look.

******

Ines: I'm not finished yet...

******

"Captain!" Mayumi cried. "Boson particles detected!"

"The Successors?" Erina demanded.

"No," Yurika said, eyes wide. "Akito."

******

On the Nadesico B, Ruri smiled slightly-- even without all her original crewmembers, Yurika had managed to create a chaotic ship and somehow still have everything under control. Then she caught Harry looking at her, and the smile disappeared.

******

"Mikako..." Yurika began, but her signal was unnecessary. Mikako had already called and Akito's face appeared on the screen.

"I'm coming over." he said without preamble.

Yurika's eyes narrowed slightly. "Open the hangar."

Mayumi did so with some confusion. The poor woman still had no idea who this Akito was or what his cold attitude was all about. His harsh tone was clearly hurting everyone who heard it, though, and her opinion of the man was not very high.

Akito turned to sign off, but Yurika stopped him. "Bring her with you, Akito." she said quietly. Akito paused.

"I was planning on it." he answered shortly, and he was gone. The people on the bridge looked around at each other, and then they all rose.

"Mayumi, keep an eye on things, please." Yurika smiled at her, but even Mayumi could tell that her mind was elsewhere. It kind of bugged her that no one was telling her what was going on, but she trusted she'd understand when there was more time to explain. Right now, she knew they needed to stop the Nadesico C from reaching Osaka. And since she knew how to scan for ships very well, that is exactly what she did, throwing her irritation aside for the time being.

******

Yurika kept her head down as she walked, her pace slow and deliberate. Her thoughts were flying apart and she didn't know what to do with herself. Everything about him was just so confusing...

"So what would you do if you met yourself?" a young yeoman asked her companion as they strolled past her. Yurika frowned. It would have been strange, meeting herself. Wait a minute...

Yurika's head snapped up. Ines was wrong. She had to be wrong because both she and Yurika had been on the Nadesico C when they had gone into the past and attacked it with the first Nadesico. They weren't supposed to be there because the Yurika and the Ines who were supposed to be in the past were still there, on the Nadesico C. She understood why the attack had taken place, because the ships in her fleet were in no danger of meeting themselves and the ships in limbo weren't at risk either. In fact, no one on her own ship was in danger of meeting themselves except for herself and Ines. There had been a danger of them coming face to face with their past counterparts, and yet the Artifact hadn't done anything to stop it. In fact, Yurika's mind would have clashed with her past self's mind had it not been for...

Akito! her mind screamed at her. Akito had prevented her from tracing the Nadesico C's jump and helped her to figure out she was in the past-- all to prevent her from enacting that paradox of meeting herself. Her pace quickened as a slow smile spread across her face. Somehow, Akito had known what was going on. His coldness hadn't been out of apathy, it was out of necessity! Her anger slipped away, leaving her somewhat giddy as she entered the hangar just in time to see the red Aestivallis glide in. She wondered if happily ever after was going to begin today. And then the strangest thought of all hit her. Ines was actually wrong!? How could she have possibly forgotten a crucial detail? What was there left to believe in anymore?

Ines sighed. "I really wasn't finished yet..."

******

Akito opened the cockpit of his Aestivallis and helped Lapis down before climbing out himself. When his feet were finally settled on the ground, he turned to survey the crowd of people waiting for him, no expression touching his face. Lapis took his hand nervously, and Akito, for once, did not feel the urge to push her away. She was a little girl who was scared and unsure-- she knew so much about these people, but none of them knew her. It would be like meeting a movie star face to face.

There was a stiff silence. Akito knew everyone was waiting for him to say something, but he didn't have any clue what to say. How could he explain in just a few short sentences what he wasn't at liberty to reveal in the first place? So he took a step forward, pulling Lapis firmly in front of him. "This is Lapis Lazuli."

******

Lapis, eyes wide, tried to move behind him. The awkward silence still stretched across the hangar, so that her name echoed mercilessly across the walls. And then, to her surprise, there was a woman kneeling in front of her.

"Hello, Lapis," she said kindly. "My name's Yurika."

"Hello," Lapis replied, casting a quick look at Akito, who had suddenly tightened his grip on her hand.

Yurika smiled and, taking Lapis's other hand gently in her own, stood up. "You're going to love it here, Lapis."

"Yes, ma'am." Lapis focused her eyes on the floor.

"Hi, Lapis! I'm Mikako!"

"I'm Eri!"

"Sayuri!"

"Junko!"

"Harumi!"

"Pleased to meet you," Lapis said, eyes still on her shoes. She probably should have changed into nicer ones. She still couldn't believe she was actually here--Akito had told her that they would probably never go back, and yet here they were. And the one person that he had dreaded seeing the most was only separated from him by her own small frame.

Other people were introducing themselves, and Lapis nodded with each one, but her mind was fixed solely on Akito and Yurika, who were having some sort of mental exchange above her. She couldn't sense what Yurika was feeling, but she gave off an air of elation. Akito, on the other hand, was drowning in sadness and an anguish she couldn't even begin to understand. What was his problem? If his dreams were any indication, this moment should have been the happiest of his entire life.

******

Damn it all. Akito thought furiously as he glanced at Yurika's smiling face. She probably thought she had him figured out; why he was acting like he was. Maybe she had figured out a part of it. But she was going to get a rude awakening later and he was not looking forward to giving it to her.

He glanced over again, caught her gaze and broke away quickly, ignoring her confused look.

"We'll talk later." he answered her unspoken question, still avoiding her eyes.

******

"Ryoko, where are you going?" Hikaru asked as the former struggled to pull on her IFS suit.

"Tenkawa--back." her voice was muffled as she pulled her shirt over her head. "I'm going to go see him."

"Ryoko, Ruriruri needs you here." Minato said suddenly from behind them.

"We all want to see him." Megumi added. "But we'll have to wait until we can beat the Successors and take back the Nadesico C before we can have a reunion."

"You can wait." Ryoko snapped, pulling on her helmet. "I'm going."

"Ryoko." Saburota took her helmet and pulled it off her head. "I saw Tenkawa kill Hokushin--he can hold his own in a battle. Nagare and Aoi Jun are already on the Nadesico A. They don't need any more pilots over there. You have a duty to the Captain and to your subordinates to stay here."

Ryoko hissed and snatched her helmet back, but didn't put it on. "I hate doing nothing!" she glared at everyone and stormed out of the hangar, punching a hapless engineer on her way out.

******

Akito destroyed several drones and quite a few Aestivallis to cool the hard rage building in his heart before he answered the call from the Nadesico A. The fact that static was the only thing he saw didn't surprise him too much. A quick signal to Lapis and she hacked into Omoikane, using the Nadesico's own system to establish contact.

"Akito?" Yurika's face, full of hope and disbelief, appeared in front of him. Akito kept his face emotionless. Her outfit was different, but she didn't look any older than the last time he had seen her. Not that he was surprised. She was still only twenty-three, because the last three years hadn't existed for her. It was as if the whole universe had tried to pass her by-- but it had fallen apart without her. It made him sick to think about it. It made it even worse to know that he could miss anyone that badly. And to know that she was so close and yet he still couldn't reach out to her.

"Go back," he said, his voice like ice. "You've made a mistake."

"Akito!" she began again, her eyes going wide with hurt and surprise. "What...?"

He cut the transmission.

The pain he watched on one end was quickly replaced with another kind of anguish-- a certain longing. He could practically feel the annoyance that rested in his line to the Eucharis. He chose to ignore it. "Lapis, I'm coming back."

"Was that necessary?" she asked him emotionlessly, as oblivious to her own frustration as Akito was aware of it. "Destroying the drones?"

"There wasn't anyone inside any of them, if that's what you mean."

"It wasn't."

"Don't fuss about what I feel." He said, his irritation surpassing hers. "If it's not interfering with sysop, it's not your concern."

******

"Captain?" Eri asked worriedly, turning to Yurika. "What are we going to do?"

"If we had more time I could trace the jump… with the sensors…" Jun offered faintly, his window hovering unassumingly at her elbow.

Erina, seeing the glazed "I'm-about-to-cry" look in Yurika's eyes, took the opportunity to break in. "Our mission is to destroy the Nadesico C." she reminded everyone sharply. "And Akito jumped at exactly the same time as the Nadesico. He knew you'd be distracted by him, Captain, so you couldn't trace the ship. And now he tells us to back off. Why is that? Well?"

Yurika didn't move. Erina, eyes flashing, slammed her hand down on the console. "It's a trick. He's with them. There's no other explanation. Captain, I've held my tongue for a long time..."

"Ten minutes hardly counts as long..." Mikako commented dryly. Erina shot her a death look.

"...But I don't think your method of trusting gut instincts is a good one! I realize that you have feelings for him, and so do the rest of us, but you can't disregard the circumstances!"

"Wrong." Yurika said flatly. "You're wrong. I know Akito." She paused for a moment, pieces of the puzzle falling into place. "The Successors want the Artifact, but they obviously haven't got it yet." she said. "The Artifact is in the Osaka spaceport. That's where we'll go."

"Captain!" Erina snapped, but Yurika turned on her with equal determination.

"Osaka spaceport." she repeated. "Now. We'll use the chulip in Serandala. And Jun, patch me through to Akatsuki. He should be able to tell me what I want to know."

Akito... she thought as she exited the bridge and swept angrily down the hall, That was unnecessarily cruel.

******

"She wants to talk to you." Jun said, turning to face Akatsuki.

"Did she say where?"

Jun paused for a moment. "She'll be in the kitchen."

"Did she tell you that?" Akatsuki raised an eyebrow. "That's a rather unusual location."

"That's where she always goes when she wants to think about Akito." He frowned. "I'd say she was on the observation deck, but with all that's happened there lately…"

Akatsuki waved a hand to silence him and left the hangar. Jun's frown deepened into a scowl, but he decided that, as second in command, he'd probably be of more use on the bridge than in the cafeteria, anyway.

******

"It looks like you have things all raveled up," Kusakabe commented, eyes closed and arms crossed.

"Well?" Genichiro asked, the monotone of his statement veiling his anxiousness.

"Well." Kusakabe paused, his form still and completely relaxed. "I won't help you. But I will swear that I won't help Aritomo, either."

"That's all I ask." Genichiro turned to leave, but Kusakabe's sudden laughter stopped him.

"You seem so disgusted with me." he chuckled. "But we're not so different, you and I."

"Oh?" Genichiro answered coldly. "How so?"

"We are both visionaries-- and visionaries always think they are right. And when they are, in fact, wrong, it takes a catastrophe to make them realize it. For me, I realized my error when my armies fell to an enemy who was not evil, simply different. You acknowledged your terrible mistake when you observed that your enemy suffered from your best friend's assassination, more than you did."

"That's a stretch."

"Not really. But visions aside, you and I are traitors."

"Do you have a point?"

"Don't lose your temper." Kusakabe sighed. "Young people... ah, well. You murdered your best friend for falling in love with a woman from Earth. I surrendered the ideal that I hold most dear to preserve the lives of my followers. So which of us is the worse sinner, I wonder?"

"Are you finished with your babble yet, old man?" Genichiro's voice grated across the room.

Kusakabe laughed again. "Very good, very good. I expected you to make excuses for yourself. And my dear friend, here is my point: Just as the real reason you shot Shiratori Tsukumo was because of your faith in your government, the real reason I surrendered was because I had no faith in my men whatsoever. They are all fools, and so I gave up my quest for higher purpose and preserved their lives in the hopes that someday they would gain wisdom. It would seem that they have yet to achieve it."

"You're the fool if you truly believe that." Genichiro muttered and shut the cell door behind him decisively, gritting his teeth at Kusakabe's odd laughter.

"I believe everything with the ring of truth to it. I don't envy you at all, you know." he called after the Jovian. "I'm serving my penance in here, and it suits me just fine. You-- you're stuck in a cage because you can't bring yourself to truly repent of what you've done."

"You've made your point."

"You're only angry because you know I'm right."

"That may be true." Genichiro gave a sigh of relief when he was finally out of earshot. That was the last time he was ever going to try to reason with that man again. Ever.

******

Yurika waved cheerily to Lapis, who had been given her own room--Ruri's old one-- and was currently deeply involved in exploring it, and then turned back to Akito.

"Walk me to my room, okay?" she said, taking his arm. "We can talk privately there."

Akito tensed up, but agreed, and the two went in silence down the hall, up two decks in the elevator, and a few yards through the corridors until they reached the captain's suite. Yurika let go of his arm to open the door and motioned him inside, but Akito didn't move, and they ended up facing each other with the doorframe in between.

"Akito...?" she asked, slightly unnerved by the fact that she couldn't see his eyes behind his dark mask.

"I'll be going back to the Eucharis as soon as the Artifact is secured again." he said finally, in clipped tones.

"What?" When he had said they would talk later, Yurika hadn't really expected to do much talking, nor had she expected him to dash her happiness upon the rocks like some sort of twisted siren. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that we've grown too far apart and it's time we went our separate ways for good. If it helps, consider me dead."

Yurika spluttered wordlessly for a moment, unable to comprehend what he was saying. He had to be joking, right? Why was he so...cold? He had no feeling whatsoever-- just spoke matter of factly about ruining her entire life. Oddly enough, she found the situation rather laughable. Where was the Genkigangar-obsessed screaming cook-turned-pilot she had fallen in love with? Why, he claimed to be dead. And with the amount of emotion she was getting from him, she was inclined to agree.

"You should move on. You deserve a husband who will be there for you."

"Oh, no," she started, finding her voice. "Don't you dare start that 'I'm not good enough for you' stuff! So you're not exactly like you used to be-- you still have the same soul and you're still the same Akito that I..."

"You're wrong."

"No I am not!"

"That man is dead, Yurika."

"Stop saying that!" Yurika cried, putting her hands over her ears as if the motion could stop what had already been said. "Why do you always have to be so melodramatic?"

"I'm not!"

There it was--the glowing lines framing his face. Akito had finally lost his temper. That was what she had wanted; for him to be passionate about everything like he used to be. So why didn't she feel any better?

"Look at this." he continued, tearing his mask away as if it pained him. "Just look! Every time I get worked up this happens and I go all numb. I can't think for myself-- I'm dependent on a little girl who's more lonely than Ruri ever was, I've lost all my senses and I can't even dream any more!"

"So what?" she demanded, grabbing his sleeve. "So what? So you've changed? Who cares? If you can't dream then I'll dream for you! That's what people who love each other do, Akito! They take care of each other!"

He didn't answer. The anger faded from his eyes, but his face didn't cease glowing. They stood there staring at each other in a silence that stretched painfully. Then Yurika let go of his sleeve like it was a disease she was afraid of catching. She wasn't crying, which was strange even to her. She just felt numb. Numb inside, numb outside-- if her knees hadn't been locked she was certain she would have fallen over. She wanted to yell; to kick and scream until he told he that he loved her too. But she couldn't do that either. She just stood rigid, staring at someone she thought she knew. Except that Akito had never been that cruel before. She wasn't even aware that she was moving until her hand slapped the keypad on her right and the door slammed in his face. Then she sat down in her chair and fumed until the waterworks started, drenching her gloves and her jacket and hair with tears. Had she bothered to turn her lights on, she would have noticed her own face shining with strange glowing lines in the mirror.

******

Akito stared at her door for a full minute, wondering at the realization that this was the first time she had ever gotten truly angry with him. Sure, they'd had their arguments before, but he had never seen such a look of desolate hatred. Ever. And it only made it worse that he had seen the same expression on his own face, reflected in her eyes. Only he didn't hate her. He hated himself.

That makes two of us, he thought savagely, and started to leave. But by chance or Fate (Akito wasn't sure he believed in either, though both seemed to be out to get him), he happened to glance at her nameplate as he turned, and stopped dead.

Tenkawa Yurika

"Tenkawa?" he said softly. Nowadays, women practically never took their husbands' names. And when they did, it was usually both names hyphenated. But Yurika had chosen to use his name, and not her own.

He almost knocked on her door then and there to apologize, but couldn't seem to lift his arm. Biting his lip until he tasted blood, he whirled away and moved quickly down the hall, trying to rationalize that Yurika had only decided to go by Tenkawa to differentiate herself from her father.

******

Lapis opened her eyes and froze. "He didn't..." she whispered, sitting up in her bed-- the first bed she had slept in unbothered by Akito's nightmares. It had to have been a dream. But she knew it wasn't.

How could he? she thought bitterly, running a hand across the silky arm of her satin pajamas--also something she had never had before. They were hand-me-downs, leftover from when Ruri had lived on the Nadesico, but she didn't care. They made her feel wanted. And now Akito was going to take it all away again. She supposed she just wasn't meant to be happy. Some people weren't. And some people, like Akito, seemed determined to be miserable all the time. Why, she couldn't begin to guess. But it wasn't her place to question.

She changed back into her own clothes, folding Ruri's pajamas neatly and putting them in the drawer Yurika had pulled them out of. Then she sat in the recliner and waited for Akito to come get her.

He never came, but Lapis, running over his fight with Yurika in her mind, began to piece together what was going on. And realized that she was at least partially to blame for Akito's behavior. And since he wouldn't make amends, she would have to do it for him. So she got up and, carefully retracing Akito's steps, found her way to Yurika's door.

******

"Akito? Where are you going?" Eri asked cautiously. "We thought you'd come down to the kitchen to say hi to Howmei and the other girls."

"I'm going to go see Ruri and the others." Akito answered shortly. "I think it would be better if I stayed on the Nadesico B until the battle starts."

"But..."

"I'm leaving Lapis here. Be nice to her."

"But Akito..."

"I can't stay. But it was good to see you again, Eri."

"Akito..."

But the red Aestivallis was already moving out of the elevator shaft.

******

"Damn it damn it damn it dammit!" Akito cursed, just for a moment reverting to his old self. That hadn't gone the way he'd planned at all. He could still see the perfect scenario in his head-- everything perfectly synchronized so that everyone ended up content if a bit confused. But no, he had to go and lose it around Yurika; the fact that all he was thinking about during their whole fight was kissing her and then accepting her invitation to her room and...

"Dammit!" he yelled again. Damn Lapis. Damn the Artifact. Damn everybody. It just wasn't fair. He'd thought he'd be all right. Just being with her for a day or so was supposed to bring him solace. But instead they'd had less than two hours together before he'd driven yet another wedge between them. Never mind that he'd been completely miserable for those two hours, anticipating the coming ugly scene.

He took several deeps breaths and forced himself to call down. Losing control had always gotten him into trouble and it still was, apparently. Well, at least he still had Ruri. Ruri and Minato and Ryoko and all the others. He was sure he could keep his cool around them; it was impossible for anyone to get excited with Ruri them informing them they were idiots. Well, impossible for everyone except when Yurika was around.

"Damn it!"

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