Nadesico Fan Fiction ❯ To Die or Not to Die ❯ Chapter 13

A/N: Ohhhhkayyyy. Here we go. The plotless, fun chapter. First of all, thank you people who… will probably review me from now to when I actually finish this. >< And also, thank you people who gave me ideas on what they should do, as sitting around and talking like dumbasses is much more… retarded-like than sitting around doing something and talking. But yeah. Anyway, the playlist thingy? Great ready for happy songs! "U+K" by Camui Gackt, "Until Strawberry Sherbet" by Hayashibara Megumi, "Party" and "Chasing Girls" from Bakuretsu Hunters, "Freckles" from Rurouni Kenshin, and "Cinco de Chocobo" and "Electric de Chocobo" by Nobou Uematsu. *breathes* Okay, what should we see here? Well, there may be some bashing of various characters… in some places, that's kinda… literal, anyway… Jun finally joins the pilots to breakfast! Whee! Anyway. I would keep an eye out for some extremely-obvious foreshadowing and such… Everything that's not mine is copyrighted by whoever does own it. And… no offense to religious people, I just don't think soldiers in a war, seeing people die, would think that God is in his heaven and soon drop religion if they weren't completely devoted. And… yeah. Here's the funness!

~*~

'No matter what I do… I'll probably always just be her "best friend",' thought Jun as he got dressed for the day. 'She can't even see that I'm madly in love with her… I suppose Omoikane and me aren't the same. Ruri at least understands that he loves her. Yurika just can't get it through her thick skull.' He sighed. "I don't even remember what attracted me to her in the first place… Hell, I don't even remember when I didn't want her!" He walked out his door. "Maybe I could go to breakfast or something… Not that there's anything else for me to do. Except take up Yurika's space when she goes to look for Akito." He started in the direction of the cafeteria. "I don't think I've ever been to breakfast here on the Nadesico. I don't know if anyone actually goes at all. And why am I talking to myself?" He turned a corner, the metal doors to the kitchen shining a bit in the somewhat dim light. "I think I may be going crazy. Oh well. I'll just be like everyone else on this boat, then." He opened the door, making the mistake of assuming he'd be sitting down in a quiet room, enjoying a snack from a vending machine in peace.

"Okay, Hikaru-chan, pummel him!" yelled a somewhat hoarse voice. Jun's dark blue eyes widened. "My pleasure!" replied a somewhat hyper voice. "Itai-ai-ai-ai!!!! Hikalu-tan, leggo by dose!!! Id huuurds!!!"

One of Jun's eyes began to twitch. The punning pilot known as Izumi was holding Akito's hands behind his back, while the redhead Hikaru pulled his nose as hard as she could. A blue-haired cook at the ordering counter watched, laughing. The Martian's boyfriend sat at a table, trying not to laugh himself. Across from him was the purple-haired lesbian, kissing the junction between the jaw and the skull of the tomboy pilot Ryoko.

All action stopped almost immediately. Jun swallowed, starting to blush from embarrassment, and sat down at his seat at the table next to theirs. That's where he sat normally, after all. He stared at the metal smoothness of the table, trying to remove his blood from his face. 'God… just… GOD!'

Izumi looked over Akito's shoulder to Hikaru, who, though she wasn't pulling it, still had a firm grip on the Martian's nose. They both nodded, and released the cook. Akito ran back to his spot next to Gai, rubbing his nose. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to get it stay out of his face. "That hurt a lot…" whispered he, though everyone heard it. Gai wrapped an arm around his waist. "Here, I'll kiss it to make it feel better, okay?" He lightly pecked the side of Akito's somewhat small nose. The Martian giggled, but continued to rub his nose. "Just remind me not to insult Hikaru and Izumi again…"

And speaking of the two friends, Izumi walked over to Jun's table and promptly planted her ass on it. Hikaru grasped the back of Jun's chair. When Jun suddenly realized that, instead of smooth metal, he was now staring at a black-fabric-covered butt, he started to blush even more. He looked up, trying to look straight ahead, but Izumi had strategically placed in his line of vision her breasts, Jun looked like he was going to burst a blood vessel. The redhead behind him giggled as she pulled his chair, with him still in it, over to their table, until she had it facing away from the ordering counter, at the end where Akito and Izumi sat. Izumi smiled, having done her duty, and hopped off the table, going back to her seat at her own table.

Hikaru sat down too. "I'm sure Uri-P will be happy to have your booty-juice all over where he sits, Izumi-chan." Izumi shook her head, her blue bangs swinging from in front of one eye to the other. "He'd be happier if it was yours." Hikaru put a finger to her small mouth. "Probably, but for that job, I'd be too short. You're the taller one."

Jun finally came out of his shock, leaning forward to rest his arms on the table. "What the hell was all of that?!?" Izumi turned toward him. "All of what? The murdering of our little Akito-chan or the seduction of you?" Jun hid his face to conceal his rattled state. All of the pilots laughed.

Hikaru started to tell the story. "Well, we were just talking about stuff that's been going on… and we got on the subject of Ruri-chan's family. And how strange it was that an amusement park took over Denmark and turned it into a kingdom."

Izumi's eyes closed, a smile plastered all over her features. "Someone brought up how odd it was that they had European names, but a Japanese family name, and that most of their kids had Japanese names."

Itsuki told the next part, her indecent smile based on the fact that she was slowly feeling up Ryoko. "A certain Martian- not to name names-," she pointed toward Akito, who stuck his tongue out at her, "no, Tenkawa-san. I don't swing that way. Anyway, Akito said, and I quote, 'I guess Europeans are just fucked up like that.' End quote." She smiled cruelly at Akito, who had started to glare daggers at her.

Ryoko batted Itsuki's hands away. "Which was rather stupid on Tenkawa's part, because he apparently didn't know that Hikaru was half-Irish, and Izumi was half-British."

Gai smiled at the two girls who had attacked Akito. "So they attempted to kill the smart-mouthed little ass." The smart-mouthed little ass looked up, turning his glare from Itsuki to Gai. "I'll have you know, you happen to want this little ass, so if you want to get any more affection this century, you'd shut your own smart-mouthed little ass." Gai made a pinching gesture in front of Akito's nose. "Just because Hikaru's already done it, doesn't mean it stops me." The Martian covered his nose. "It'll be bruised before the day is over…" he muttered. He ran a hand through his hair again.

Jun glared at the taller, female pilot. "What's with shoving your behind and breasts in my face?" Hikaru fanned a hand at him. "Maa… No need to act like a grammar book, Junny. We're all adults here. Izumi, tell the poor-non-corrupted boy why you shoved your ass and boobs in his face to get him to sit at our table."

Izumi smirked. "Because, if we asked nicely, you would have declined. So, I took matters into my own hands-" Hikaru coughed, indicating that she was lying her ass off, "Okay, me and Hikaru took matters into our own hands and for her to push your chair over here, you had to be distracted. All else fails, I was supposed to completely flash you, but it didn't fail, now, did it?" She smirked at the Executive Officer.

Jun sighed, and laid his head on his arms. Itsuki removed her arm from Ryoko's shoulders, and folded her hands in from of her on the table. "Okay, Aoi-san, what's your story?" This caught Jun by surprise. "Huh?"

Itsuki pointed at herself, then Gai. "We've known each other since we were three," she motioned toward the Three Angels, "they've known each other since they were seven," she finally pointed at Akito, "and he's been hanging around the captain since… what? Five?" Akito nodded.

Jun looked away. "I… met Yurika at the Space Academy." Itsuki clicked her tongue. "Tsk, tsk, Aoi-san, I can tell automatically what happened. You and Yurika got engaged, because she wanted to marry her best friend, since she thought her childhood friend was dead. You let her graduate top of your class, you only coming in second. You followed her all over, drooling over her very footprints. Am I close in any way, shape, or form?"

All the other pilots dropped their jaws. Jun's blue eyebrows furrowed, and he nodded slowly. "How did you know…" he voiced just about everyone's thoughts.

Itsuki shrugged. "When you're hated by half the female population of Kawasaki, you tend to start reading romance novels. It was in a book I read once."

Izumi blinked. "Shit, man. I thought I was a bookworm."

"You are," countered Hikaru. "What's on the agenda today… okay, more like when do we absolutely have to start our battle checklist?" Gai used his communicator to open the schedule window. "Two o'clock this afternoon, why?"

Hikaru stood up and jumped up and down. "I wanna do something!!!" Ryoko shook her head. "To think, this is her with too much sleep." Akito looked at the redhead pilot. "What do you suggest we do?" He pushed his hair back one more time, and the quiet pilot yelled something that could only be described as a battle cry.

"Arrrrgggg!!! Akito, dammit, your hair is really fucking pissing me off! You've tried to push it back, like, five times since we sat down here! That is it!" She stood, grabbed the Martian's arm, and pulled him out of his chair. "I'm giving you a haircut, right now! My room, on the double!" She pulled the cook right out of the cafeteria, while all the other pilots just sat and blinked.

Gai was the first to break the silence. "What the fuck just happened here?" Hikaru rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't you know, Gai-chan? 'I'm giving you a haircut' in Izumi lingo means 'I'm giving you hot and wild sex'. Duh!"

Gai glared at the artist. "You had better be joking." Hikaru shook her head. "Of course I'm joking, dumbass! God, you can be really possessive, you know that?" Gai smiled slightly, indicating that the insult didn't affect him at all, maybe even flattering him. Itsuki groaned. "Okay, can we stop the sap party? Personally, I'd like to see how fry-cook boy is able to fight back Izumi in the battle of the scissors." She got up. "Gomen, Ryoko, but I think I'm going to have to plant vibrators in your bed." The purple-haired pilot giggled, then skipped off, leaving the tomboy sputtering and trying to catch up, yelling that she had best not if she wants to keep her legs. Gai, Hikaru, and Jun kind of just watched them run off with cocked heads.

Gai glanced at Hikaru. "… She's done this before, hasn't she?" Hikaru nodded, and ran a hand through her own hair. "She's really good. She even layered mine. Though… I don't think Akito knows that," answered the redhead with a smirk. Gai grinned back, "Only one way to find out, ne?" Hikaru nodded, and turned to Jun. "Shall we?"

Jun blinked, kind of confused at why she suddenly included him. "Me? Oh, I don't want to intrude…" Hikaru shook her head, walked over to where he was sitting and grasped his right hand. "Whether you like it or not," Jun's IFS shimmered into sight, "You're a pilot. And we pilots gotta stick together. So we're all kinda… really good friends. And you have just now joined our ranks." Jun nodded in understanding. Hikaru released his hand. Jun had another question. "If the pilots have to stick together… why don't you hang around Akatsuki-san?"

Gai shook his head and got up. "He may be a pilot, but none of us really trust him." Hikaru shook her head in agreement, and pulled Jun up.

As the three of them started walking toward the Three Angel's room, Jun started to think. 'Before today, Yurika was my only friend on this boat. I walk into the cafeteria, and I gain six friends. They already trust me. I'm kind of shocked… and kind of honored.'

~*~

The first thing one would see, had they not known what was taking place, would be Ryoko straddling Akito, attempting to kiss him, while Izumi was doing something kinky that involved his head and a pair of scissors. It also involved a towel around Akito's shoulders. One could only guess what that was for.

But Hikaru, Gai, and Jun did know what was really going on. Akito was still squirming, and Ryoko was sitting on his lap, trying to get him to stop kicking. He was also shaking his head, and Ryoko grabbed both sides to make him stop it. Izumi was slowly, but surely, shortening the Martian's hair the best she could, with all his wriggling. Itsuki sat in a gray swivel chair by the desk, just watching the escapade.

Hikaru walked over to Ryoko's bed and sat down next to Akito. "Calm down, Akito-chan! Izumi's really good, I swear! Just let her cut your fucking hair!" Izumi snickered, then lowered the scissors near Akito's crotch, making snip-snip motions.

Ryoko batted her hand away. "That's kinda close to mine, thank you very much." Akito sighed and settled. Ryoko got off his lap and sat on the other side of him. Izumi glanced at the tomboy. "Speaking of yours, you may have to dye your hair again soon." Ryoko reached up, feeling the green strands. "Why?"

"You're getting roots." Ryoko groaned, feeling the very top of her head. Itsuki shook her head. "Ryoko, you can't feel a difference in hair color. Can you?" she asked Izumi. The blue-haired pilot shrugged and took the towel off Akito's shoulders. "You're done, boy. Off." Gai was glomping him before Akito could say "okay".

"'Kito-chan you look so adorable!!!" Hikaru stuck her fingers in her ears and asked Izumi, loudly, "I need a trim too, Izumi-chan." Izumi nodded, and Hikaru put the towel around her shoulders. Jun looked at his watch. '6:30. My god, it's only been a half-hour.' "So, Amano-san, what do you suggest we do?"

Hikaru shrugged slightly, trying not to mess Izumi up as she snipped the ends of her hair off. "Maybe we could just hang out…"

Itsuki rolled her eyes. "Or maybe we could just sit around like dumbasses, talking. It will look a lot more convincing if we were actually doing something while sitting around bored shitless. You know, in case the captain beeps in looking for Tenkawa-san… or the captain beeping in looking for Aoi-san… Uribatake-san beeps in looking for Hikaru-chan…" The respective pilots blushed. Ryoko laughed slightly, then poked Hikaru in the arm. "Come on, Red, come up with something."

Hikaru's eyebrows gathered in thought. "Well, we could always play cards or something…" Izumi shook her head. "We kinda have seven people, that's kinda a lot, you know?" Hikaru closed her eyes. "Not if we use two decks… I know!" She snapped her fingers. "Let's play Idiot!" Ryoko groaned. "I suck at Idiot…" Itsuki's eyebrows raised and Gai's eyes widened. "You know how to play Baka?" asked they in unison.

Izumi gave them a funny look. "Of course we do, we learned it in Junior High."

"We learned it in High School." Akito and Jun felt out of the loop. "What's Idiot?" asked the Martian. Jun nodded.

Five sets of jaw dropped. "You don't know how to play Idiot?!?" exclaimed Gai. The two of them shook their heads. Izumi took the towel off Hikaru's shoulders and handed it to her. "Shake it out in the bathroom garbage." The artist ran off to comply. Ryoko poked her next. "Give me Hikaru's and your decks. I'll teach these… Idiots how to play." Those who understood the reference laughed. Izumi grabbed hers and tossed it to the green-haired pilot. Then she climbed up the ladder to Hikaru's bed and opened her cubby. "Damn, Hikaru, you got enough drawing materials in here?" She found the deck in the mess of papers, and tossed it to Ryoko as well. Ryoko expertly caught them. She opened the two boxes and began shuffling cards.

After about two shuffles, Itsuki was getting antsy. "Are you gonna explain the rules, or do I have to do it?"

"Huh? Oh, right. Um, sure. Go ahead." Itsuki cleared her throat then sat on the floor next to Ryoko, who had moved from her perch to the floor. "Okay. First things first. We put cards down in higher number order, you know: fours beat threes, sevens beat fives, aces beat everything, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Twos are wild, and you can put them and then any card on top. Tens make the pile go away. If four of the same number are put down in a row, that makes the pile go away." Ryoko started dealing as Izumi sat on the floor next to Itsuki and Hikaru sat down next to her. Gai continued for the violet-haired pilot. "Don't pick up those cards. Those are secret. Okay, you have three cards in your hand at all time that there is a picking-up pile. When it finally goes away, you can get rid of your cards, instead of picking one or two up to replace them. Then you can use the cards on top of the secret ones-" Ryoko started dealing those out too, "and when they're gone, you better hope and pray that the secret cards are good."

Ryoko dealt out the hand cards, and Hikaru continued the rules. "If you can't beat the card that's down, you have to pick up the pile. When you're at these cards," she pointed at her cards on top of her secret ones, "If you can't beat it, you have to pick one up. Also, right now," Ryoko finished dealing, and put the extra pile down, "you can switch your cards out for better ones. You want to have your good cards down here and your crappy cards in your hand." The seven pilots look at their hands.

"Okay, I can't deal anymore. I gave myself complete shit," assessed Ryoko, switching her 2 of hearts for a 3 of spades. Izumi switched everything but her queen of diamonds. "I beg to differ. I have a feeling I'm going to win."

"Dammit, this three is gonna kill me…" said Hikaru, switching only one card.

Itsuki flipped the first card from the pile. "I go first, dealer goes last." She put a jack on the seven.

"Since when?" demanded Ryoko as Izumi went. "That's how we played in Kawasaki, ne, Jiro?" Gai had to nod.

"Dammit! I knew it!" exclaimed Hikaru as she picked up the pile. Izumi looked over her shoulder. "You're right. You are so not going to win." Hikaru glared at the blue-haired pilot. "Bite me, Izumi."

As Jun and Akito took their turns hesitantly, Izumi shook a pale finger at the redhead. "Now, now, Hikaru. Don't order me to do such things. I just might do it." She snapped her jaws, to emphasize her point. Hikaru sighed.

"Such is the life of the water-obsessed vampire." Izumi shrugged. Gai looked over his cards at them, one dark brown eyebrow raised. As he put down his 6, he questioned them, "Care to elaborate, oh confusing ones?" Ryoko shook her head, putting down two 8s. "No… let's not." Itsuki put down a queen to counter her eights. "Oh yes, let's. Do tell."

Izumi put down a ten, and took the pile away. "Goodbye! Anyway, yeah, way back when we were young and stupid, we played around with the idea that I was a vampire and Hikaru was a witch. Ryoko was back on earth, so we didn't mess with her much." Itsuki nodded. "I remember doing something similar. I believe I was a werewolf, right, Jiro?" Gai nodded.

Hikaru put down a three, and continued the story. "Well, Izumi's suddenly decided to start playing Dungeons and Dragons, the loser." Izumi hit the redhead in the back of the head. "Shut up and tell the story." Hikaru rubbed the spot. "Ow! Bitch! Anyway, so she went on this whole 'you know, I think I'm a water mage' thing that drove me insane. But I started reading this book series from, like, 21st century that had a girl that looked like me in it, and she was a weather mage. So I was all, 'Whee! If Izumi wants to be a water mage, I can be a wind mage!' Needless to say, we were huge losers when we were kids."

Ryoko scoffed, putting her hand of a 2 and two 3s to counter Gai's 8. Picking up three cards, she told the end. "Were losers? You guys still are. At least I can admit, though, that when I came back I was in on it. I took this random quiz online and I got earth as my element. I was a little upset, but Hikaru told me about some guy in her books that was an earth mage… though he worked with plants. What were the words you used? 'Thorn hell'?" Hikaru nodded.

Itsuki dropped another 3. "So you thought it was cool? You would, Ryoko-chan." Ryoko shrugged. After Hikaru put down her 7 to beat Izumi's other two 7s, Jun put down a jack. "It seems you all have stories to tell… I kinda don't."

Itsuki's brown eyes lit up. "Oh oh! I've gotta tell you this one about Jiro!" Gai rolled his eyes as he put down two aces to counter Akito's queen. "Which story about me is this, Itsuki? The crying in public one, the pissing my pants one, the crying for my mommy at a dinner party one…" Itsuki shook her head. "This is the getting lost story." She cleared her throat as Ryoko put down her entire hand again, a 2 and two 5s.

"Shit, Ryoko, you like to play strange. Anyway. Okay, Jiro wanted a sandwich while I was visiting his house one day. He starts off to go look for his mom. I knew his parents weren't home, they were at my house, but he didn't listen. He never listens to me." She put down a 6. "So he goes wandering off to go find his mom. I told him to ask the cook for a sandwich, but no… he wanted his mommy to make him one. So I follow him to make sure he doesn't get into trouble. Only, we did get into trouble. Yamada Jiro got lost in his own house."

Izumi was just sitting and listening. When she realized it was her turn, she put down two aces. "Gai-san. You are a fucking idiot."

Hikaru took one look at the aces. "Ya bitch!" yelled she, picking up the pile for the second time. Gai glared at the blue-haired pilot. "Hey, I was only five, what do you expect from me?"

Akito put a 9 on Jun's 8. "A complete fifty-page paper on the mechanisms and physics of boson jumping." Gai shook his head and put down another 9. "Excuse me, 'Kito-chan, but I'm not Miss Fressange."

Ryoko put down a jack. "Speaking of Miss Fressange, Izumi, what was with that song you sang at the contest? Do you think you could GET any more obvious?" Itsuki laughed, putting down another jack. "It's true, you know."

Izumi shook her head. "Fuck you, Itsuki," responded she as she picked up the pile. "My song wasn't as obvious as Hikaru's. I could have been talking about a lot of people. Miss Fressange, Hikaru, Ryoko…"

Hikaru put down four 3s. "Goodbye!" she yelled, throwing the 3s into the discard pile. "Anyway, Izumi, you picked my song for me, so don't you even start on the 'Hikaru's was more obvious' crap. Besides, I talked to Miss Fressange afterwards. She knows you want her now."

Itsuki whooped as Jun put down a queen. "Go Izumi! Looks like you'll be the first one of us to score in this lifetime!" Gai, Akito, and Ryoko glared at her. "What?"

Akito sighed and put his own queen down. "The only thing keeping me back is the fact that I'm fickle… and I can't make up my mind." Gai put down an ace, then gave Akito a little hug. "You will someday."

Ryoko growled. "Bastard…" she picked up the pile, and while she was setting up her cards, Itsuki put down a 4.

"Why can't you make up your mind, Tenkawa-san?" asked the purple-haired pilot as Izumi put down a 5. Akito shrugged. "Like I said, I'm fickle. I know Ryoko and Megumi don't want or even need me, which is okay-" he nodded his head at Ryoko, who rolled her eyes, "but Yurika and Gai-chan-" he looked up at his boyfriend, "want me still, and I can't decide which I want yet." Gai closed his eyes and pointed up a finger, explanation-like. "All in good time, young grasshopper."

Hikaru rolled her eyes and put down two more 5s. "Baka Gai-chan. So it's one of those flip-a-coin things, Akito-chan?" Jun put down a 7, being quieter than he should be in a group of seven. Akito gave Hikaru a sidelong glance as he put down a 9. "I think it's should have a lot of thought go into it, and not be a flip-a-coin thing." Gai smiled at Akito, then stuck his tongue out at Hikaru. He put down a 10. "Goodbye!"

As Ryoko put down two 5s, Hikaru batted her eyelashes at Gai. "Lovely offer, really. But first of all, I don't think your little smart-mouthed ass of a boyfriend would like it," this angered Akito a bit, "Again with the smart-mouthed little ass… my ass isn't that little!" "But I also don't think it would win me brownie points with the person I do want to get." She smiled, and put two 6s on Izumi's 6.

Jun put down a queen. "I know about this, at least," the XO muttered, "Uribatake-san's been complaining about it for a couple weeks." He looked up, and realized everyone was looking at him. "Um, isn't it Tenkawa-san's turn?" Akito kept looking at him as if lobsters were flying out of his ears as he put down an ace.

Gai grumbled something that sounded like "Cock-tease" as he picked up the pile. Hikaru practically pounced Jun as Ryoko put down a 6. "He has?!? REALLY??? I thought the idea completely dropped from his mind when I turned him down!" Now it was everyone else's turn to look at Hikaru funny, all but Izumi of course.

"You turned him down?!?" screamed Itsuki as she put down a 7. Hikaru nodded, her dark brown eyes getting as big as saucers, no, screw saucers, they were as big as dinner plates. Izumi put down an 8. "I know. Rather dumb of her, ne? Especially since she's always whining that she feels unloved and such." Itsuki nodded.

Hikaru looked down and put another 8 down. "He's married, you guys…" Jun put down a king, feeling better that he could actually contribute to the conversation. "So? He said he was probably going to divorce her when we all go back anyway. They've been fighting for years, mostly from his womanizing, but she can be pretty unfaithful too. He said he's not even sure if their son is his."

Akito choked on air. "Okay, one, you're an ass and a half." The Martian picked up the pile. "Second, they have a son?!?"

Jun nodded. Gai put down a three. "How do you know all this?"

Jun responded as Ryoko put down two queens. "When you're at a Christmas party getting dead drunk, you tend to learn a lot about a person." Itsuki glared at Ryoko. "If I didn't want you so much, I'd hurt you." She had to pick up the pile.

Izumi put down an 8, glancing at the other pilots. "Speaking of party, you guys owe me one." Hikaru gave her a funny look for a minute. Then realization broke out on her face. As she put down three jacks, she frowned deeply. "Shit!!! I can't believe I totally forgot! Fucking hell!"

"What?" cried everyone as Jun put down a ten. "Um? Goodbye?" Itsuki put the pile in the discard pile. "The hells are you talking about Hikaru?"

Hikaru looked down again, and Izumi patted her on the back. "I can't believe I fucking forgot Izumi-chan's birthday!!!"

Izumi smiled at her friend. "It's okay, I forgot until this morning, too. I've been twenty for a day, and I hadn't known it."

"Yesterday was your birthday?" asked Itsuki. "Why didn't you say something?" She looked at the ace Ryoko put down. "Ya bitch…" She picked up the pile.

"Yesterday was also the contest, if you don't remember. Everyone was all hyped up about it, and I was too, but yeah…" She put down two 9s.

Hikaru put down a queen. "So… we need to have a party anyway! I mean, you don't turn twenty everyday!" Jun took a king from the top of one of his secret cards and placed it on the pile. "I turn twenty in 8 days…" commented the Martian as he put another king down. The redhead looked delighted. "Oh my gosh! We can have a double party! We never get to do those!" Gai grumbled something about being the youngest as he put down an ace.

Ryoko put her 2 and jack from her cards on top of her secret ones. "My birthday isn't for a while yet. At least two more weeks." Itsuki nodded, putting down two queens. "March 5th, right?" The green haired pilot nodded.

"Frickin' whore…" grumbled Izumi as she picked up the pile. "My birthday is three days after Ryoko's…" said Jun, putting his jack on Hikaru's 4. She clapped as Akito picked up the pile, mumbling that Jun was an asshole from hell. "That's great! Two double birthday's now!"

Gai put down three 5s. "This sucks major ass! My birthday isn't until October 24th!" Ryoko snickered, putting down her other 2 and flipping the left secret card, which just happened to be a 6. "Yeah, you are the youngest." Jun looked down as Itsuki put down a 9. "I feel like such a loser. I'm hanging out with a bunch of teenagers."

Izumi gave him a funny look as she put two more 9s down. "What do you mean? How old are you?" Hikaru put down four aces, throwing the pile away and yelling "Goodbye!"

As he put down his 2 and then flipped one to get a king, he responded, "Twenty-one, almost twenty-two." Six sets of jaws dropped.

"I didn't think you were THAT old, Jun! I knew you must have been a bit older, since Yurika was two years older than me, but still!" Akito looked at the pile. "Shit. You're, like, five asses now…" He picked it up.

"Gods fucking dammit! I am the youngest!" Gai threw three 6s down.

"And the tallest, don't forget." Ryoko looked at the pile before flipping. "666, number of the beast." She flipped a card, getting a 9.

"Oh, please don't tell me you believe that stuff," whined Itsuki, putting down an ace. Ryoko knit her black eyebrows and shook her head no, giving Itsuki a funny look as Izumi put down another ace. "Why would I?"

"We've never been really sure about your… religious orientation, Ryoko. Hell, I think Izumi and me are the only ones sure that we are atheists!" exclaimed Hikaru, putting down two 2s and five 7s. "Goodbye!"

Jun flipped another card, getting a 3. "I know what I am. I'm agnostic." Hikaru giggled as Akito put down his 4. "Does that have something to do with you having to be a nun during the funerals?" Jun smiled at the artist. "That's some of it."

Gai gave Jun a funny look as he put down a queen. "Jun… in a penguin dress… Okay, screw that, Jun's a drag queen?" Jun sputtered, trying to give him a negative answer.

Ryoko placed a hand over her last card. "Please be good, please be good…" She flipped it, and it was an 8. "Dammit!" She picked up the pile.

Itsuki shook her head, putting down two 3s.. "Jiro, the definition of a drag queen is a gay guy that dresses up like a woman. Now, unless Yurika's got a dick, Jun isn't gay."

Izumi put down three jacks. "Well, maybe Yurika's the drag queen in this situation. I mean, breast pads are not that hard to find, nor to make."

Hikaru picked up a jack, threw it one the pile, then threw entire pile away. "Goodbye! You know, I don't think guys can grow hair that long… And she runs pretty good in high-heels." Jun flipped his last card, a 3. "I guess I win… but not in what we're talking about," mumbled Jun, cringing a bit.

Akito shuddered at their choice of subject, putting down a 6. "Yurika, a guy. Jesus, give me nightmares, why don't you… Besides, she's definitely a girl. I've known her forever and she's molested me enough when I was a kid to know- okay, why am I reassuring everyone that Yurika's female?" They all burst out laughing, realizing how dumb this conversation was.

Gai put down his king. "If any of the girls on this ship are not really female, it's that bitch Erina. God, I hate her!" Ryoko raised a black eyebrow. "What, so Erina must not be a chick because you hate her? That's some fucked up logic." She looked at the pile. "Dammit!" cursed the tomboy, picking it up.

Itsuki put down a 4. "He's right though. I mean, she's an obvious lesbian, though not flamboyant as I am, but she's much more butch than the average woman." Ryoko glared at the musician. "Are you saying I'm butch too?"

Izumi scoffed, dropping three queens. "Ryoko, only Erina beats you in that category…" Ryoko rolled her blue eyes. "Gee, thanks Izumi-chan."

Hikaru threw down a ten, then waved for Izumi to take the pile away. "Goodbye! If we get into the subject of butchness, you should have seen Ryoko before Mom died," she commented.

Jun turned sideways, stretching his legs as Akito put down two 7s. "Why would Ryoko be butch before your mother died?" asked the Martian.

"No no no. Mom is Subaru Yukari, Ryoko's mother. Mother is Hikaru's mom, Lara Amano," Izumi cleared up as Gai out down two 8s.

"Or, in my case, Miss Amano was Mom, my mom was Okachan, and Mother's Izumi's mom, Chloe Lamington," explained Ryoko, putting down an 8.

"So, you called your own mother's Okachan and everyone else's the English versions of Mother. Who's Mommy?" Itsuki grinned, putting down a queen. Gai slapped a hand to his forehead. "I knew it. I knew you were going to tell that story, oh my god…" Itsuki smiled mischievously at her childhood friend.

Izumi put down two kings. "What, is that a reference to something?" Hikaru rolled her dark eyes, throwing in a 2 and flipping her first card, which ended up being a king. "Duh, Izumi-chan, if all she says is 'who's mommy' and Gai suddenly thinks of the same thing she means, then I think it is a reference to something." Izumi stuck her tongue out at her.

Akito threw down a king, as did Gai, as Hikaru smiled wickedly at Izumi. "Oh, is that an offer, Izumi-chan? It's about time, don't you think?" Izumi rolled her own eyes. "Baka."

One of Jun's dark blue eyebrows went up. "Okay, what the hell?" Ryoko shook her head, putting down another king. "Goodbye! I don't think you should get them, or, rather, Hikaru into that whole thing…" Itsuki made a pouty face at Ryoko. "I wanna hear, dammit." She threw down a ten, then took it away. "Waste of a ten…"

Izumi shook her head, too, putting down a 2 and picking up her queen and throwing it in. "I keep telling you, Hikaru, that's one of the reasons it would work much better if you went with Uribatake-san." Hikaru flipped another card, getting an ace. "Oh, poo on you. Okay, my total, never-ending crush on Izumi." She cleared her throat as Akito put down a ten. "Goodbye." "All righty. Way back in the middle of freshman year, I got dumped once again by one of my boyfriends, but I was getting numb from it, so I just went to Izumi's house to go hang, right? Ryoko wasn't involved with this yet, but she would be about a month later when I would rant to her."

Gai groaned as he put down a jack. "Get on with it already…" Hikaru made an ugly face at him before going on. "We had been pretending we were lovers for a month or so then, you know, for the hell of it. It was also to get a rile out of Izumi's boyfriend, future fiancée then- hey, don't interrupt, Itsuki." Itsuki had opened her mouth to say something, but shut it when Hikaru jumped on her ass. Ryoko smiled a bit, then put down her own queen. "But anyway, I was starting to get feelings… Then I went home a wrote a poem about the feelings that seemed to appear out of nowhere." Itsuki put down a ten slowly, then took the pile away, yelling "Goodbye!"

Izumi smirked, putting down a king. "Within one month, she decided she was completely and totally in love with me." Hikaru nodded, then flipped her last card, a 9. "Gods fucking dammit!" She picked up the pile.

Akito put down an 8. "What story were you going to tell, Itsuki?" Gai groaned as he put down three 2s and flipping over a 6. "Itsuki, why do you keep telling embarrassing stories about ME?"

Itsuki flipped a card, and put her 8 on Ryoko's 6. "Because. There are a lot more interesting funny stories about you than me. I was a normal child. You were a fucked-up one." Gai glared at the musician. "Just because I was obsessed with anime-"

"Break it up!" yelled Izumi, dropping a 10 and taking the pile away. "Goodbye. Gai-san, just like Itsuki tell the damn story, okay? God knows I was a weird-ass kid too."

Itsuki stuck her tongue out at Gai as Hikaru put down her 9. Gai shuddered. "Did you know I'm stilling having nightmares about that?" Itsuki realized what he was talking about, her eyes widening. Jun scooted over behind Hikaru and Izumi, looking over their shoulders. Akito flipped over a four, and, picking up the pile, gave Gai a weird look. "Nightmares about what?" Gai and Itsuki shook their heads violently. Gai flipped a card, getting a 9. "Never mind, 'Kito-chan…"

Ryoko glared at him, picking up the 9. "What? Is that part so embarrassing that neither of you want to talk about it?" Itsuki flipped over a 4. "It's a long story, Ryoko."

"So? Speak! We got lots of time to kill… It's only 8:15… damn, time flies… out the window… into a tree…" Hikaru whacked Izumi on the head. "Ow! What was that for?" Hikaru pointed at Itsuki's 4. "Go already!" Izumi flipped over an ace, grumbling. Hikaru gave a pitiful whine, picking up the pile.

Gai shook his head again as Akito took his turn. "It's a long story… for another day." He flipped his last card and placed the 6 on Akito's 4. "I'm in second."

Itsuki waved him away. "Now, back to the story I was going to tell…" Ryoko put down a 9. "Talent show for fourth grade. Jiro was going to do the traditional ventriloquist act." People started laughing already. Itsuki placed a finger on her lips and flipped her last card. "Queen of Hearts. I'm third. Anyway, he gets up on stage, right? He sits on the little stool, opens his mouth… And he screams at the top of his lungs, 'I want my Ma-mi!'" giggled Itsuki, pronouncing the word "Mommy" the way a child who didn't know much English would. "The people in the audience started whispering, 'Who's Ma-mi?' Oh my god, it was so hilarious." A few of the pilots giggled, but not many. A few, such as Akito and Ryoko, now had things on their minds. 'What story will they not tell us?' contemplated the Martian. Ryoko thought to herself, 'They must have had something between them that they don't want people here to know.'

Izumi flipped over a 4, and picked up the pile. She didn't yell anything though. Hikaru just calmly put down her own 4. Gai must have noticed how everyone was suddenly silent, for he poked her in the arm. "Hey, otaku-girl. I'm bored, so I'm gonna dig through your cubby." Hikaru shrugged. "I will not be discriminated against for anything I own." Gai scoffed. "I'm the discriminatee, not the discriminator." He climbed up the ladder.

Akito glared at Jun. "Hey, 'I'm a newbie, but I finish first'-san, get your ass over here and help me." Jun stood up, brushing dust off his pants, and sat down in his old spot. Akito looked at his cards. "Okay… maybe I don't need your help." Jun shrugged. Hikaru kicked him as Akito put down a 9. "Say something, dammit!"

Jun looked at her, a little frightened. "Um… Triangles have three corners?" Ryoko shook her head. "Heh… Jun's been watching a bit too much Sesame Street…" She picked up the pile, starting to not care anymore.

Itsuki moved closer to Ryoko as Izumi put down a pair of 4s. Hikaru pointed at Ryoko, a bit shocked. "Oh my god! I loved Sesame Street! It was all about Grover!" She put down a king. Akito secluded himself from this conversation, stating, "We never got that on Mars…" He flipped his last card, "Dammit!" and picked up the pile, which now included his 5.

Ryoko shook her head again. "No… It was all about Bert and Ernie." She dropped a pair of 3s. Izumi shook her head. "I liked Big Bird. Anyway, Bert and Ernie suck. Bert seemed to always have stick up his ass, and Ernie was having some kind of affair with his duck-toy." Hikaru put down her last card, an ace, on Izumi's 6. "Fourth place! I heard somewhere that Bert and Ernie were gay. No offense, Gai-chan, Akito-chan!" she yelled. "None taken," replied the named Earthling, apparently reading one of the doujinshi's Hikaru had created. Akito's eyebrows furrowed together. "That just reminds me of a show we did have on Mars… There was a green thing with a dick on his head." He picked up the pile. Izumi's jaw dropped as Ryoko put down a pair of 4s. "I used to watch Teletubbies all the time! The one with the dick on his head was Dipsey!" exclaimed she, putting down a 9. One of Hikaru's red eyebrows went up. "I'm so not going to ask." She climbed up her ladder, trying to find out which doujinshi Gai was reading. Akito nodded. "And the purple one had some kind of obsession with his purse! And it wasn't a bag, it was a purse!" He put down a king. Ryoko made a face. Picking up the pile, she commented, "I hated Teletubbies. It was so dumb, and that baby in the sun was frightening." Itsuki smiled. "I bet not as frightening as Furbies."

Hikaru looked down from her bunk as Gai started climbing down, still reading. "They really should have just had a Furby-burning rally two hundred years ago. They were really creepy."

Gai closed the book and threw it at Hikaru's back. "Oi! Why are you all talking about two-hundred year-old things?" Hikaru glared at the ex-Gekiganger fan. "I happen to adore two-hundred year-old culture! I find it funny how stupid people used to be." She smiled.

Izumi put down a queen. "It's hilarious how stupid people can be in this day and age. Such as the cow over here." She jerked her thumb at Ryoko, who picked up both Izumi's queen and Akito's ace.

"Oh, shut the hell up, Izumi-chan. Just because I got addicted to gum…" Izumi flipped her last card, a 9. "Fifth place! That doesn't give you any excuse to throw up on the table at lunch." Akito gave her an angry, but confused, look. "Nani? What does gum and vomiting have to do with each other?"

Jun actually said something, being quiet for the last ten minutes. "If you swallow a lot of gum in a day, you can get a big stomach ache." Everyone just kind of looked at him. "Um, never mind…"

Ryoko sighed, putting down a pair of 4s. "Aoi-kun hit the nail on the head. I used to chew gum constantly. But I always got caught in class, see? But I discovered that if I swallowed my gum when they accused me of having it, I never got detention. I did this for, like, a week. One day, I ended up doing it, like, four times before lunch, right? I felt really sick. I tried to eat my broccoli, yes, I remember it was broccoli because that's what I saw come up first. Anyway, I tried to eat it and I threw up all over our table." Itsuki smiled and shook her head. "Ryoko-chan no baka."

Akito put down two more 4s. "Goodbye… The only time I vomited in an interesting place was… well… my first kiss." That got a reaction that he didn't expect. Gai's eyebrows went up. "You threw up after kissing Meg?" Hikaru shook her head. "No, I would have known about that if that was it. Was it someone else, Akito-chan?" Izumi snickered. "I bet it was on Mars. Akito doesn't want us to know, but he had a secret affair with Yurika while on Mars, and he threw up the first time he kissed her." Jun looked at the Martian. "If that's true, I swear to god-" Itsuki cut him off. "I bet he had a secret affair with someone else, and threw up after kissing them!" Ryoko put down her pair of 9s. "I bet you it was his mom."

Akito yelled, "Will you all shut up?!?" It got horrendously quiet as he put down another 9. "No, it was not with Meg. Yes, it was someone else. Yes, it was on Mars. No, I did not have a secret affair with Yurika. The last time I saw her on Mars was when I was 8 and she was 10. I did not have an affair with someone else on Mars. My mom died when I was 8, Ryoko, and that probably would make me throw up. Are you done now?" They all shook their heads. "Not until you tell us the story, Akito!" exclaimed Hikaru, grinning her ass off.

Akito sighed as Ryoko put down a queen. "Dammit…" He picked up the pile. "Well, my mom and dad were fighting again… So I went outside and wanted to cry. Shut up! Don't even open your mouth, Itsuki. Anyway, who comes to bug me but little miss Yurika herself, seeing me outside for once. By the way, remember that I was 7, and she was 9, so it was about a year before… the things happened. Anyway, she started asking me what was wrong, and I told her to go away. But she didn't listen, of course. She sits in front of me and says she has a magic trick to turn me back to normal. I stupidly believed her and closed my eyes. Next thing I know, I'm being kissed!" Ryoko laughed at Akito's disgusted look as she put down a king. Akito sighed and picked it up. "Then, after she pulls away, I look down… and throw up, all over her dress." The pilots, except Jun, started giggling, imagining a short Yurika in a random dress, getting vomited on by a short Akito.

Ryoko threw down her last card, an ace. "Sixth place! Akito's the Idiot!" Akito grumbled, then threw down his hand. He flipped his last card and it ended up being a 4 of diamonds.

Hikaru giggled. "That was really weird. One newbie wins, and the other lost." She shrugged. "All I can say is that I'm really thirsty."

Itsuki stood up, brushing the dust off her uniform. Jun looked at his watch. "It's 9:00 now. Lunch isn't for another two hours." Akito rolled his eyes. "Duh, Jun. I think me, the cook, knows when lunch starts." Jun looked down, a little embarrassed. "Gomen ne…" Gai whacked Jun on the arm. "Baka, he's just messing with you!" Akito nodded, feeling a little bad about teasing Jun. Hikaru smiled as she latched onto Jun's arm. "You gotta get used to being teased, if you hang with our crowd! And trust me Junny," Dark brown met dark blue, "we can be your best friends if you want us to." A silent message was heard by all present. 'We are all different, and a little crazy, but each and every one of us has problems. We're willing to listen to yours.' She let go and hit the spot she was holding. "Besides! Someone needs to sit in Akito-chan's spot at lunch!" Jun blinked. 'How can she just go from deep and thoughtful to happy and teasing?'

Ryoko reached into Itsuki's carrying case pinned to her uniform. "Oh, are we getting a bit feisty, Ryoko-chan?" asked Itsuki with an indecent smile. Ryoko pulled out Itsuki's Nergal paycard. "Vending machine sodas on Itsuki!" Ryoko gave her own indecent smile to the musician, shocked at the elaborateness of the act.

Hikaru jumped up, her arms stretched into the air. "Great! Itsuki's gonna pay for our sodas!" Izumi placed a hand on Hikaru's head. "Calm down, woman."

~*~

What could only be described as a small herd of pilots walked to lunch two hours later, after playing another round of Idiot. Hikaru skipped ahead, determined to save their table, and Gai started walking backwards and talking to them. After a few seconds of silence, however, Itsuki groaned. "So, what? Hikaru leaves the room and everyone has nothing to talk about? The fuck's with that?!" Ryoko scratched her face. "Well, we could always gossip about weird shit the rest of the crew does and stuff…" Izumi nodded. "You know what? I heard Meg likes to watch talk shows." The other three girls gave her a weird look. Akito was confused, once again. "What's wrong with talk shows?"

Itsuki shook her head. "Nothing. But when you act them out, scene-by-scene, in the bathhouse, you seriously want to shoot every talk show host that ever lived." Izumi nodded. Gai shrugged. "I've heard better shit."

Jun nodded, and stated, whispering more to himself than anyone else, "I heard that Prospector really wants Hory-san." Five pilots looked at him, confused, shocked, and disturbed looks on their faces. "OH my GOD! That's just CREEPY!" yelled Ryoko, shuddering a bit. Itsuki wrapped an arm around her. "Oh, Ryoko, are you cold?" Ryoko growled in her throat. "Hands off, Itsuki." Itsuki gave a pout. "Spoilsport."

Gai stopped walking. He was walking in front of Akito, but the Martian didn't notice he'd stopped until he ran right into him. It was just a little, planned-out bump, since it caused Gai to start kissing Akito right in the hallway. The other four pilots turned around.

"Jesus freaking Christ, you guys need to go to your room!" yelled Itsuki. Gai looked over his shoulder at his childhood friend. "You're lucky I waited this long!" Akito looked over Gai's shoulder and gave a little smile.

Ryoko shook her head and started walking ahead. "Sometimes I wonder why I ever decided to become a pilot…" Itsuki caught up with her. "How come?" Ryoko shook her head, her voice growing fainter as they walked farther away. "I never would have become a pilot if this is where it would get me…"

Izumi glanced at Jun, who seemed to be feeling very uncomfortable. She jerked a thumb at the two kissing pilots. "It's enough to make you lonely, isn't it?" Jun discovered after a moment that she was addressing him. "Huh? Oh… Sort of." He plopped on the floor and looked at the metal smoothness, the coldness of it making him feel uneasy. Izumi crouched down next to him. "I guess I'm lucky. At least the person I want knows I want them. I can't give any words of comforting support in this situation you're in." She stood. "Ryoko came back from Earth after Rinji died in his accident. She didn't know why I was suicidal, but she always seemed to be the one to find me. When Ken died, Hikaru was the one who helped me, and she knew how. Ryoko did not, but she tried." She smiled at the Executive officer. "I'm not good to talk to, but I know people who've been in you're situation. But, if you really want help, you should talk to Hikaru." Jun stood up, astounded by the quiet pilot's words. 'She really is wise beyond her years.' Izumi started to walk off, yelling at the other two guys to break it up and hurry up, if they wanted to get to lunch on time. 'They all are. They all seem to be hiding behind their own acts, but I'm the obvious one. Maybe that's why I feel uncomfortable around them? Or maybe… I wish I could deal with their pain the same way.' Izumi yelled to him next. He ran up to them, walked beside them, no, with them. 'Maybe they really are my friends.'

TBC…

~*~A/N: Yeah yeah, I know, Jun-centric, bite me, okay? This was going to be much longer, but I was getting so sick and tired of this chapter, I decided to end it when they were going to lunch. I was also running out of things for them to talk about. Anyway, how'd you like this fun chapter? Was it… fun? ^^ Yeah, okay, that's all. Anyway, in the next chapter, we may have to divide it up, dude. It's going to be the confusing memory episode, and we're going to do characterization and the pasts of many of our favorite little pilots! Not to mention trying to keep things in order, changing some personalities, making certain ghosts, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Anyway, as always, Review please! ^^