Nana Fan Fiction ❯ Regrets ❯ Part V ( Chapter 5 )

Title: Regrets
Author: hostilecrayon
Fandom: NANA
Pairing: Nobuo/Hachi
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst, Spoilers for up to the end of the anime/manga Chapter 84.
Disclaimer: Nana is property of Ai Yazawa, Cookie and Viz Media.
Word Count: 922
Notes: Mint says, and I quote, “Please don't let the next part be the ending! I want to read more from you!” So I blame it not ending yet on her. XD

 

 

Part V

 

Hey Nana, sometimes, when I dream, I see you sitting in the dining room of room 707, smiling at me like you used to back then.

 

It makes me wonder if we could ever make our dreams a reality. I used to be so sure.

 

Now I'm more inclined to think that dreams will never be anything more than they are… just dreams.

 

---

 

Nobuo's hands ran down my bare stomach, his rings catching on my slick skin. I arched my back, pressing myself closer to him, and he smiled, thrusting his hips against mine. We were a tangle of limbs and he leaned down to capture my lips, my hands tangled in his golden hair.

 

I was enthralled. I was captivated. I was…

 

Dreaming?

 

I sat up, wiping the sweat from my brow. Looking at the clock, I could see that it had only been a couple hours from when I had fallen asleep. Nobuo must have already taken Satsuki to school, but just as when I went to sleep, the sound of his guitar floated into my room.

 

Only this time, he was singing, too.

 

I got off the bed and moved closer to the door. I couldn't make out the words, but this song, unlike the others, felt like it was filled with hope. It was subdued a little by a melancholy tune, but I could feel it shining through with his soft words that I couldn't understand.

 

I looked in the mirror and pushed my hair around a bit, trying to flatten it as best as I could. When I opened my bedroom door, the music stopped abruptly.

 

“I'm sorry, did I wake you?” He set his guitar to the side and ran his fingers through his hair. “You should go back to sleep. It hasn't been very long since you laid down.”

 

“No, you didn't wake me. Ever since I had Satsuki, I've had trouble sleeping in, that's all.” I went into the kitchen, bustling around, trying to find something to make us for breakfast. “Are you hungry? I'll make us some eggs.”

 

“You don't have to, it's okay.”

 

I smiled, pulling out the egg carton and putting a pan on the stove. “It's no trouble. I'm used to cooking in the morning, and it's no fun cooking just for myself.”

 

I went about making breakfast, and I wondered why Nobuo had come back here. He could have easily gone home and woke me later. His apartment is even closer to Satsuki's school than mine was.

 

I set a plate in front of him on the coffee table. “After you eat, you should take a nap. I'll be fine now.”

 

We ate in silence for a while, and I bit my lip, unsure of how to break this awkward tension. It wasn't very often that Nobuo and I were completely alone. The last time we were alone was in the tiny bathroom during the fireworks festival when we cried together.

 

My fingers went to the now empty ring finger. There's still a white mark from where it had been, like a memory still fading away. He'd asked me then why I still wore the ring, and I didn't answer. I realized it was then that I'd begun thinking of putting it on the other hand.

 

This act was my answer.

 

I busy myself by picking up the dishes and cleaning up, and all the while, Nobuo just sits there, watching me.

 

“That song you were playing before I came out of my room, is that the song you're working on?” I tried to act nonchalant, but I couldn't help stealing glances at him out of the corner of my eye.

 

His eyes widened slightly and his hand almost instinctually crept towards his guitar, toying with the strings. “You heard me?”

 

My cheeks reddened a little. “I couldn't make out anything you said, but I really liked it. I didn't know you wrote lyrics.”

 

He sat back, letting out a sigh. “I don't, usually.”

 

There was more awkward silence.

 

“Well, I guess I should take a shower. Feel free to use my bed if you'd like to sleep.” I walked past the couch, but I was stopped short by Nobuo's hand on mine.

 

“You took it off.” I nodded, a lump forming in my throat. His soft brown eyes stared into mine, and I thought that he was going to get up and kiss me. But in the end, he dropped my hand and just said, “I'm glad.”

 

I practically stumbled away, getting clothes and going into the bathroom. It was better this way, and I was the one who didn't want any complications.

 

So why did I feel so disappointed?

 

When I got out of the shower, my bedroom door was closed. Nobuo's guitar was still sitting propped up on the couch, and I sat next to it, running my fingers across the neck. The strings let off some sound, and I smiled. I didn't have the gift it took to play, and it felt strange that this guitar that played such beautiful music in Nobuo's hands was nothing more than a decoration for me.

 

I thought that maybe, I'd ask him to teach me how to play. I'd like to learn that song he played in our kitchen the night I'd first heard Nana sing.

 

Somehow, it felt like it was our song.

 

---

 

Hey Nana, if I learned how to play the guitar, would you sing for me?

 

Just once would be enough for me.