Naruto Fan Fiction / Crossover With Non-anime Series Fan Fiction ❯ Spark of Fire ❯ Chapter Five ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: This is a parody inspired by the works of Masashi Kishimoto and Phil and Kaja Foglio. All characters that I have not created or borrowed from other sources are theirs. This is a Fan fiction and not meant to violate the rights of those who own the rights to the Naruto or Girl Genius Series. I have no money and therefore not a good suing target. Thank you very much.

Spark of Fire
Part Five

Kakashi was in a state of advance awareness as he waited for the other shoe to drop in this training excerise. The facts were very simple, 'Naruto has turned into something from a ninja's nightmare. Everytime I try to face him, he pulls out some kind of nasty surprise from a bag of tricks. Sakura is passed out from the genjutsu of Sasuke getting killed, and Sasuke was fortunate enough to take one of the 'surprises' off my hands and he's still trying to get out of it's sight. Yet Naruto still stalks the woods, so I'm not safe yet.'

Kakashi chance an empty patch of the woods so he could gage the position of the sun, since that could tell him what time it was out there. How close to the point of noon when this hellish experiment in group teamwork would be expired. Cause he didn't trust the clock anymore, not with Naruto and his machines out there. Who knew what he could make which would mimic a clock going off? No, he was using the sun since he doubted that Naruto had the technology to control that ball of fire in the sky. Taking note of the point it was in the sky, he could tell it was mere moments before noon. Moments before....

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kakashi held himself back from jumping at that sound as he realized it was the alarm on the clock he was using. The time was up and hopefully he wouldn't have to face the monster in combat anytime soon. The twitch above his eye was covered by his ninja headband as it appeared above his special eye. He moved himself to the location of the posts and the Killed in Action monument. As he arrived, there sitting one of the poles was Naruto, reading something. The blond devil looked up at him and smiled, "So what kept you sensei? Where's the others?"

The twitch continued.

Soon Sakura came from the brush looked like she had just some out of some sweaty gym class with all of her cloths sticking to her, her hair in a mess and dirt all over her skin. She seemed to be looking around for someone when she saw Kakashi and moved into an attack position. Kakashi could only think, 'She thinks that genjutsu was real. Well, she will be in a surprise when Sasuke... here he is."

Sasuke was coming from a different direction looking like he had been through a massive battle. Dirt and small burn marks were on his skin and clothes, he was holding his right arm while favouring his left arm. There were holes in his clothes as well as they looked like they had been worn for years by insane battle hungry ninja. Sasuke took one look at Naruto and began to growl, while dropping the object he had been holding in his right hand. It was a melted form of metal which seemed to have some kind of wire bits bursting from it.

Naruto also took one look and frowned, "Looks like sensei let you take the brunt of my Chakra Sucking Clank. I guess I'm going to have to improve the hunting system of the little thing to stick with one enemy."

"Alright, I have made my choice and the fact is... only one of you managed to get the purpose of the test. When Naruto told you this was a test of your teamwork, he was correct. Even if I was your sensei, you should have known that all genin team works in groups of three. It takes a group of three genin to event match one jonin. If you had listened to Naruto, you would have gotten the two bells that I was holding easily. Then I would have passed all three of you. However, the fact is that two of you dismissed the help being offered which makes me know that those two should not just go back to the academy as I said. No, they should drop the ninja program all together. The only one of you who deserves to go back to the academy is Naruto, but only till two other teammates who would listen to him appear to become members of his team." lectured the adult jonin as he looked at the shocked and surprised faces of the pink and black haired genin. The single blond seemed to be daydream and not giving this any care in the world.

'Time to get a little revenge on the bastard, ' thought Kakashi as he made up his plan for the second test he would give.

"I am willing to give all of you a second chance. We will rerun the test again after lunch, however the rules will be more harsh this time, " spoke the grey ninja as he suddenly threw a weapon to tie up Naruto to the post he was near. This time all of them were shocked at the action.

"Sasuke and Sakura, you're allowed to eat the lunches that I brought. Naruto, for being such a pain in the ass, is not to have a single morsel of that food. If he wants to torment his sensei, he can do it on an empty stomach. No single morsel for Naruto, or I personally kick each one of you from the program... understood? " Kakashi waited for the nods before continuing, "I'm going to find some place to relax before some kind of killer machine comes after my neck again. No food, remember that!"

With this he disappeared, but only to a hidden location where he could observe the trio of genin. He waited for the sign of the second test being discovered. Sasuke and Sakura both began to eat their meal when Naruto's stomach rumbled. Male and female looked at the madboy, stopping for the moment. Then Sasuke said, "Here take this, I don't need as much food as you do."

The food the last Uchiha was eating as passed at the blond, while a green eyed girl stood there in shock at the change of behaviour. She asked her crush, "What about Kakashi-sensei's rules, Sasuke?"

"Naruto was the one who managed to cause the most trouble to Kakashi. If he's at full strange, this means that Kakashi will be at a disadvantage, and the three of us can take him down." was the reply made of words of simple truth.

It was a few moments later that Sakura nodded and moved to hand the food to Naruto. The blond boy changed things by calling out, "Come back Kakashi, they've passed your second test."

Kakashi got that twitch, but this time it was in a good way as he appeared before them. He spoke to his students, "What do you mean they passed my test? All I see are RULE BREAKERS AND NINJA SCHOOL DROPOUTS!!!!"

"You and I both know that their giving me their food was the test, their willingness to break the rules so their teammate didn't come to harm from starvation. Which was why I triggered by stomach to rumble. I already at a fill breakfast and had a little lunch while tracking you sensei... thanks to Uzumaki Nutra-squares! A daily dose of nutriants in a single bar! Enough energies to have you running marathons for hours! " said the blond as a strange light came from his suit and cut him loose.

"Also my Uzumaki Laser Rope-cutter also helps in this situation. So going to give it up now, sensei?" ask the boy as the twitch in the teacher's eyes flared.

"You ruined my dramatic performance, but yes, he's right. You passed. I was just trying to teach you, those who abandon the rules are scum. Yet those who abandon their friends are worse then scum. One of the hardest lessons I had to learn from my own sensei. Now you know this, and I hope it makes you better ninja. Sasuke and Sakura, you're free to go. Naruto, however, is coming with me to meet with the hokage to discuss the number of unique... tools he used in this... test! " said Kakashi as he loomed over the blond, the same blond who let out a nervious giggle as he faced big trouble.

Later...

Kakashi was trying to nurse his pride at the jonin lounge that many of the teachers used when not instructing. He had wanted some place alone, but needed the access to a drink to nurse his inner wounds. The meeting with the Hokage was... stressful for all involved as Kakashi requested all information on Naruto's toys. Three days later, and he was still only understanding the discriptions and none of the schematics. It was during this healing time, that the other two rookie genin sensei arrived in the same lounge and arrived next to him.

"So Kakashi, I hear that you passed your team. How are they?" asked Asuma of Team Ten, smoking his way through his cigerette.

"I have a demon on my team and it's not what you're thinking. Naruto, seems to have inherited... that bloodline limit in spades!" said the grey hair ninja as he tried to hide his head.

"My apologies man, I would hate to be on the recieving end of one of those kind of ninjas." said Asuma, as his eyes seemed to twinkle.

Kurenai was confused at the way the conversation was going, "What kind of bloodline does Naruto have and why is it so bad?"

"I take it you're not familar with the Uzumaki clan. They are famous for being the major holds of the spark as it's called by the common folk. The ability to use science to warp the very idea of normal existance. They can create new life, both mechanical and biological. Invent things which are suppose to be coffee makers and have them turn into weapons of mass destruction. Their jutsu are some of freakest out there. Hell, their castle is alive with minds of it's own! " replied the bearded smoker, turning to his female compatriot.

"That is when the castle hasn't runaway to be a pirate... why a ninja castle would want to be a pirate is just a glimpse of the insanity they can inspire. I was hoping for the rare minor spark given his grades in school, maybe a specialist in one type of invention. The truth it seems is he already knew the material and just ignored most of the work. Naruto figured out the tests, both the original bell and the follow up, and proceed to inform his teammates about the first one. After I convinced Sasuke and Sakura about the 'incorrect' nature of Naruto's guesses, he decided to take his revenge out on me by making me a lab rat for his newest inventions. Like a kunai shooter and a type of clank which can suck up and use chakra. Then there is his invisiblity cloak and googles." Kakashi said, not whining in the least bit about the hand he had been dealt. Because cool and hip ninja like himself didn't whine.

"Still it will never be a dull moment teaching him or the Uchiha kid, will it? Makes me wonder which ninja will be on the recieving end of the kid's mind, given what he had against you. He hasn't even used any jutsu yet, just his ninja tools. Uzumaki sparks are well known for their... unique justu." said Asuma as he moved on to the next topic.

"They say the only jutsu a Uzumaki invents is one that only the desperate or insane would use. There are entire forbidden scrolls worth of Uzumaki jutsu... including that jutsu. You know Asuma..." Kakashi made a shielding motion with his privates which seem to strike at Asuma who followed with a similar action.

"Not that jutsu! I forgot the Uzumaki invented... IT! You don't think that Naruto knows... IT! " asked Asuma as he continued shield his crouch, which only cause the kunoichi present to ask questions.

"What are you two talking about? It's like you're talking about a living nightmare or something. No jutsu could be that bad, can it? "

"We're taking about the one jutsu which is the scurge of mankind, one that even the Hokages and the Sanin Jiraiya fear. The most hideous jutsu one can know... the Explosive Castration no Jutsu!" The one eyed ninja merely whispered the last part as he looked around the room first before speaking it.

Kurenai could only look on in shock and confusion as she asked, "Excuse me?"

"It was original suppose to be a jutsu which could turn a human opponent into a living bomb. However, the Uzumaki in question was interrupted in his research when an opponent ninja tried to rape his wife. A specialized concentration of the jutsu was used to make certain... equipment to turn into a high explosive. Getting himself and his bride away, the opponent ninja blew up in a bloody mass in the... area. The man lives, but he was crippled both in his legs and in his mind as the pain broke him. This was about fifty years ago and to this day, no female Uzumaki by birth or marriage has ever been raped once they give their name." spoke Asuma as he whispered the details.

"The Third Hokage made a rule for this jutsu to be an Uzumaki secret on pain of it being used on the subject in one form or another adjusted form for females. Uchiha have been known to turn their Sharingan eyes away from the Uzumaki using it, it was also said that one of the crimes of Orochimaru was he was trying to learn this secret as well as other Uzumaki tricks." spoke Kakashi with the same lowered tone.

"Of course, Orochimaru was always digging around the Uzumaki lands and castle. Looking for their secrets in controlling the forces of life and death. The Whirlpool clan and it's few branch houses are the only ones known for their work with reanimating tissue. Some say they could even invent bloodline limits and even a few which breed true. You might have to keep a watch out for that snake given you have an Uzumaki on your team. Any chance to gain those secrets for himself, even as a missing ninja, would be too tempting for the monster." said the Hokage's son as ordered another drink for Kakashi.

"Even with the trouble which could occur, I would love to see a battle between Orochimaru and a well equipt Naruto. It would be divine justice for that... man to face the living hell our young boy can create on a massive scale. Have him face a few chakra sucking clanks from an invisible opponent, or what even nasty trick the boy can create. I might even be willing to see... IT used against him. Almost..."

A few weeks later...

Naruto was whisling another little tune as he sat waiting for his teammates to ask him for help with the cat they were tracking. All the while working on other inventions and jutsu for use in such a task, which to him made sense, "Given the fact this is the fifth or sixth time we have had to do it. That's only use too, not counting the other genin teams which are given this task.The Damiyo's wife just has no understanding how to treat animals, they're not toys to be played with."

Naruto was listening to his teammates try to run down the cat as it ran for it's life. A lot of work for the fight which would be coming when they caught the cat. The boy in the orange jumpsuit had just been finishing a strange box of steel bars with something in the middle which looked like a pile of meat. Naruto then poured a liquid in a line to the cage as well. Then he sat back and waited.

'From the reports from Sasuke and Sakura, they are forcing the cat in this direction. It is only a matter of time before the little kitty is drawn to my clever trap. Simply use the natural urges of an animal to catch an animal, overwhelming him with his own desires. Now I just have to hide as the little pain in the ass makes his appearance.' was the madboy's idea as he made work with his plan.

Then there was the extra coding on the cake for this trap. A simple genjutsu to cause the cage to blend into the background, blocking all sense of the cage to one's perception. Especially the special honed one of the animal world. Working on his weakness of chakra control was one of his first experiments, being simply logical. Turn weakness or perception of weakness to strength while strengthening your natural ability.

'This is is important since any plan becomes so much pig manure when faced with the unpredictable nature of thinking beings. Even this plan has a chance of failing, either with the cat or my partners. The trick is playing one set of odds and then switching to another set of odds when that fails. I don't play the game of life the way people expect.' thought Naruto as he looked at the other trips he had laid for the kitty.

Suddenly a cat with a ribbon on one of it's ears ran to the area of the woods with the traps, all of them cloaked thanks to research done with his cloaker invention. It smelt the food with the little trace of a catnip-based drug which was formulated to attract felines. It moved down the path of the drug to the collection of food as he had expected. Without sensing the steal around the him, the door slammed shut without a sound. The cat began to eat the drugged food which triggered a secondary effect of the drug of placing it in a relax state which would keep it from fight against it's return.

'Hopefully this stuff isn't habit forming given the number of times this cat has left the care of a certain overweight woman. Of course there's none of the explosive allergy of batch 126. Causing heads to explode is not a great comfort to lost cat owners. Then again batch 78 did have the effect of increasing the regeneration of cat body parts, so it wasn't that bad.' thought the boy as he teammates came running up. They were not out of breath for all of their running, one of many ninja techniques was the control of breathing.

They looked at the cat who now seemed mellow and relaxing, the identity being obvious from the view they could take from the cat. Sasuke just looked like nothing happened, "I guess that you're plan is not totally worthless."

This just caused Naruto to smile a foxy smile.

Meanwhile...

A spy was watching the living castle of the Uzumaki looking for any kind of weakness they could take advantage. For they held the secrets their master wished to control. Except only the insane, or one with the spark if that was really a difference, could enter. Or at least enter without dying, being transformed or even worse. This was a problem which required a genius, which might be the only person to defeat the mad ones of the family. Especially since some of the family remained years and centuries after their deaths in many ways.

Still the discoveries given by the latest heir was enough to boost the studies of the master. Yet he always hungered for more, so trying to plan an invasion into this home was in the works constantly. Even when the house moved by it's self. So it was the spy's works to avoid the reanimated minions of the sparks and record all secrets of the structure and passages of the building. He had also not only cracked a little of this, but it seemed the castle was able to rebuild itself with a whim.

The report was not very well received by the master and he was still looking for a path in. Then came the suggestion of just having the spark to invite them in. A mere jest remark on the part of the spy, but something seemed to interest the clever leader as he suggested exploration of the option.

"Time to work" said the spy.