Naruto Fan Fiction / Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ U-ZU-MA-KI!!!! ❯ Vincent-The only man with metal boots ( Chapter 2 )

KitsuneUzumaki: EAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! ::Flies out as a fur ball of fluff, stops and lloks around frantically::

Cid: The hell? ::Smoking cigarette and playing strip poker with Cloud::

KitsuneUzumaki: ::Giggles and runs around in circles:: I got reviewsssssss!!!!!! Yay! ^____^ I'd like to thank all of you reviewers!!!!

Cid: ::Stares:: @_O She's gone nutso…… I'm gonna git my ass outta here… Dammit… Stupid prick beat me again…. ::Takes off goggles, put in the pile of clothing::

KitsuneUzumaki: Oh fuck off Highwind…. Cloudy-Bear, disclaimer.

Cloud: … ::stare:: Anyway… Okay. She doesn't own anything in Final Fantasy, except pictures and fantasies. Hey, irony…

KitsuneUzumaki: ^_______^ Yup. And a Cloudy Wolf ring! (Or will this coming Christmas…)

We last left off with Cloud-

Naruto: Hey hey! We did not! Sasuke was just about to get his ass kicked by the great ninja standing before you!

…. So where is he?

Naruto: Duh! Me!

………… Yuffie is a better ninja then you.

Naruto: IS NOT!

IS TOO!!!

Naruto: ISSS NOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!

IIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSS TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Cloud: DAMMIT! Both of you shut up!

Naruto: You can hear it?

You can hear me?

Cloud: ::Pressure point:: Yes. Now make them fight or I bring out the Buster Sword.

::Long pause, giggle:: I wanna see!

Naruto: HA! I am SO gonna kick your ass!

Sasuke: Whatever.

Naruto: Whatever? Whatever??????! What the hell kind of battle cry is that?

Sasuke: … A good one.

Naruto: HA! HA HA! I'm gonna kick your sorry, bad battle crying, pants less ass!

Sasuke: Sure…. And that guy- ::points to Cloud:: -wears dresses.

Cloud: ::Laughs nervously:: I swear that wasn't my fault.

Sasuke: O________O That… Was unnecessary…

Kakashi: Did you get underwear?

Cloud: ::Shrugs:: Yeah…. ::whispers:: But I WAS hanging out a little.

Kakashi: Ah, I have that problem too.

Naruto: Aw fuck! Just shut up and prepare yourself for my new super-duper-ultra-wargod attack!!!!

Sasuke: ::Stares and then gets sharingan::

Naruto: ::Wide eyes:: S-sh-sharin….. GAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! ::Becomes fox demon, lunges at him and bites him::

Sasuke: Nani desu ka?!

Naruto: NNNAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::Chews his arm some more::

Sasuke: O_O ::Flings him off:: Holy shit… He bit me… O_________O GOD NO! I MIGHT GET RABIES!!!!!!

Naruto: ::Growls, starts using Rasengan::

Sasuke: ::Stares at his bleeding pus filled and oozing arm, then at Naruto, and then decides he doesn't want anymore bites, and starts to use chidori::

Sakura: ::Doesn't even care to stop them, because she had caught wind of the conversation between Cloud and Kakashi, and promptly fainted::

Cloud and Kakashi: ::Oblivious to everything while talking about wrong things like cross dressing::

And with a big, pretty, shiny, WWWWWWOOOOOOSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! That made even the two perverted cross dressers look up, the blasts met. The two boys went flying and…………………………&# 8230;………….

Naruto: EAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!! ::Is back to normal, and promptly flies into Cloud, who has spiraling eyes from the big shiny thing::

Sasuke: ::Flies and hits fence, collapsing on Kakashi's lap::

Naruto: Let's go again… Let's go again……

Cloud: ::Not even looking at Naruto, and now starring at…..::

SASUKE'S STARK NAKED ASS!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! THE WHITE HINEY HORROR!!!!!! ALL THAT WAS PURE IS NOW-

Cloud: Oh it isn't THAT bad.

CHILD MOLESTER!!!!!

Cloud: No, I am NOT a child molester. I only think your taking it to the extremes.

… Now you're going to give me shit, aren't you?

Cloud: Bring Seph here and I'll strike up a bargain.

……….. Possibilities…….

Naruto: HELLO! ::jabs finger towards Sasuke:: THAT is what we should be paying attention to.

Oh? Are you interested in him?

Cloud: ::throws confetti:: So. When's the wedding?

Naruto: NO! I- ::Stops and stares as Sasuke gets up.::O_____________________________________O

Cloud: Dear….. Planet….. ::Collapses::

For Sasuke was wearing only a sock. No, not on his foot. No, not his hand. It was on his…….

Cloud: ::conscious again. (<-You ever notice that? Passes out, up in a second…..):: Don't finish that.

…. ::Smirks creepily::

Cloud: I swear, if you do I'll-

You'll what?

Cloud: … Have you not seen the Buster Sword? ::waves the weapon around::

::Giggles:: No, but if you want, we can go over there in private and you show it to me.

Cloud: O_O

It's okay, I know you're embarrassed on showing little ol' me your-

Naruto: OH SHUT UP NUTCASE! ::Stares at Sasuke, cringes:: Ew, by all means.

Kakashi: ::Pushes him off::

Sasuke: Damn… ::Hikes up his sock:: Guess we'll have to keep going.

Cloud: Why not get new clothing?

Kakashi: ::Sighs:: It's the way of the Uchiha. Go into battle one way, and whatever battle scars you receive, you must return with.

Cloud: Yeah, but that doesn't include clothing…

Sasuke: Are you and Uchiha?

Cloud: No.

Sasuke: Then what would you know?

Cloud: That you're an utter psycho, but that's okay, I fuck one.

Yes, that's right. Sephiroth. Who will come in later…

Kakashi: Weeeeeeeeeeell…. If we stay here any longer, the ninja thief will get away. So let's go. <3 I miss my book.

Naruto: ::Wave of nostalgia:: FRRRROOOOOOGGGGGGGYYYYYYY!!!!! ::Blubber sniffle::

Cloud: Riiiiiight…….

Naruto: Good! Follow me!!!!!!!

Kakashi: ::Walks over to Cloud, pats his shoulder:: He should be or leader. Clearly, his ways with the sword will guide us… ::Dotted line leading to his… You know::

Cloud: Right. I get it. Everyone has a fixation on my penis. Thanks.

Kakashi: Well, it IS rather big. And not hard to miss….

Cloud: I'm leaving… ::turns, walks away.::

Everyone conscious: ::Follows::

Sakura: ::Slowly sits up:: Hey… Where'd they all go?

Off with or Materia Hunting pants stealing ninja pervert……..

Yuffie: Nyuk nyuk nyuk…. Now some of this… and a little of that and… ::Suddenly, a boot crashes into her face:: YEEEEEOOOOOOOWWCCCCHHHH! WHO DID THAT!???

Vincent: ::Hunched cat-like in the window:: Who else has metal on their boots?

Yuffie: ::Rubbing nose:: Like I know???!!! Unless… ::greedily looking at materia on gun:: They had healthy amounts of shiny….

Cid: ::Now sitting next to Vincent, hunched on legs and cigarette in hand:: So SHE took it? Damn brat…

Yuffie: ::Muttering to self:: Don't know what ya mean….

Cid: ::shoves foot in face:: Now, listen good brat. Where'd the fuck ya put it?

Yuffie: PUT WHAT!?

Cid: The remote. The hell you think we were talking about?

Yuffie: So you could follow me ALL the way here, and not go up to the T.V. and change the channel on your own?

Vincent: Listen, as your elders, we have the protection against such frivolous inquiring thoughts that are produced by your miniscule brain.

Cid: ::Stares:: Yeah, yeah, whatever the fuck he just said.

Yuffie: Whatever gramps! I'm outta here!!!!!! ::uses smoke bomb, begins to cackle, only to choke on smoke and stumble her way out of there.::

Vincent: It seems she has left the vicinity of the tree filled land. Cid? Cid!?

Cid: ::Pressure point:: She just called me gramps, din't she?

Vincent: Cid, it's nothing to-

Cid: SHE'S GOIN' DOWN! ::Swells up chest, starts to laugh, only to get winded and collapse::

Vincent: … You… are a fucking handful… ::Picks him up bridal style::

With Cloud and company…….

Naruto: Gaaaaaaah!!!!! ::falls on ground, rubs feet: Can't we rest a damn second?

Cloud: ::Glances at the setting sun, then turns to the group:: Fine. We leave…. AT DAWN! ::Thrusts finger out::

All three genin: ::Stare, look at each other, shrug::

The group then moseyed on over to a clearing in the woods, making a small fire and sitting around it.

Cloud: Ha ha…

What?

Cloud: You said mosey.

I got it from you love. Keep making fun of me, and I'll accidentally make Sakura push a sleeping bag into the fire, and you'll have to sleep with Kakashi, who I hear likes any kind of sex. Even from dogs.

Cloud: …. Riiight. I'll just sit here quietly…..

Good boy.

Sakura: ::Bandaging up the greatly infected wound on Sasuke's arm::

Naruto: ::Watching fish on sticks fry by the fire, slowly inching towards an unguarded one.::

Off with our stupid channel changing retarded morons…..

Vincent: ::Stoking fire with Cid's spear, puts the flaming weapon down and sighs:: You going to go get food yet?

Cid: ::Sticks head out from mess of poles and cloth; presumably the tent:: Ya shut your snide fucking ass up, or I'm taking my flaming spear and doin' it.

Vincent: Oh, REALLY. ::Staring at him strangely::

Cid: What?

Hun, think.

Cid: …

….

Cid: Ohhh…..

Yeah, "Ohhh."

Cid: You makin' fun of me?

… No. I was making fun of Vincent.

Cid: ::Growls::

Vincent: ::Stares at him, then slowly goes to get food.::

Cid: AND DON'T BRING BACK A SQUIRREL! Stupid gristly meat lovin' prick…

Off with Yuffie…

Yuffie: ::Looks around shiftily, scuttles under tree, then behind a house, and then worms her way snake-like to the top of a tree. Yes, like Orochimaru. Slowly sits like a cat and looks around, wide owl eyed. She's like a little animal….:: Coast is clear… Now… Where is that thingy…. ::Looks around, hops down:: Dammit! If I don't find it, I won't get more materia! ::Scratches head:: I got one scroll…. ::Holds up said item:: Where oh where are the others… ::scratches head in thought::

-Flashback.-

A man with long silver hair, a large katana, and green eyes is walking confused down a path.

Yuffie: Hey, HEYYYY!!!!!

Man: ::looks up startled and slightly schizophrenic::

Yuffie:: Yeah, you. ::Jabs chest:: Ya look familiar… Does Cloud know you?

Man: ::Stares, decides it best NOT to tell the truth, and slowly shakes head no:: No. Who's Cloud?

Yuffie: Nevamind…. ::Staring at sword:: Is that.. Materia? ::Twitches, crazy look:: Can-

Man: ::Stares at her:: The answer is no.

Yuffie: Wh-

Man: Because I said so.

Yuffie: Well FINE. Where do you get more? ::Greedy look, pawing at arm::

Man: ::Stares at her, then slowly smirks:: First…-

The man then goes off on how to get materia. Which, is really scary how he describes it. So I can't tell you.

Man: -and after collecting all of the scrolls, a lock from a man with spinning eyes, a pair of pants, one cloth sweater, a book on perverted things, a fake frog, porno pictures, and Cloud Strife, dance nude under the full moon with a creepy guy and come back to me, then all the materia you could want is yours.

Yuffie: Wooooowwwww…. And I've been doing it the hard way ALL this time! Thanks uh-

Man: Call me… ::Glances around:: Howzaboughtislapya?

Yuffie: Works for me!!!! ::Walks off humming, leaving the man with silver hair, GLOWING green eyes, and a black trench coat, not cape, baffled::

End Flashback.

KitsuneUzumaki: Hehehehehehe….. You thought the LAST chapter was crazy?

Naruto: ::Eating Yakisoba with Cloud:: I bet they're pissing their pants with fear.

Cloud: ::Slurps noodles, pork, and vegetables:: Yeah. I bet you won't get any more reviews.

KitsuneUzumaki: Oh shut up…. ::Throws pocky at their heads, which, in turn, really isn't too bad::

Cloud: Whatever…… Oh, and to clear things up, she loves Vincent and Cid. She also thinks Yuffie is a cool character. So she harms the one's she loves.

Cid: Tell me `bout it… ::Rubbing rear from the last time I brutally kicked him there::

KitsuneUzumaki: But it's all in the name of love! ::Grabs them by shirts, creepy dark look, eyes shaded over:: Right?

All: R-right… ::Scamper away::

KitsuneUzumaki: Read and Review!!!!!!