Naruto Fan Fiction / Naruto Shippuden Fan Fiction ❯ My Big Gay Path Wedding ❯ For Poorer ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer: The characters, items, places etc of Naruto are property of Masashi Kishimoto. These objects are used without permission for entertainment only, not for making money. No infringement is intended.

Chapter 5: For Poorer

"When can we change out of these ridiculous outfits?" Itachi asked as he once again tugged on the bottom of his skirt. He was walking much better in the heels, but his feet were killing him. He really had no idea how women did it so effortlessly.

"We can change before we leave the next bar," Sasuke promised. "Then we'll hit one more bar, and then the club."

"Do we have to go to the club?"

"Yes, Itachi."

"But it's my stag night; what if I don't want to?"

"I want to," Deidara spoke up. "And it's my stag night too, yeah."

"Since when were you interested in clubbing?" Itachi asked curiously.

"Since it's a stag night," Deidara replied, sounding confused. "It's what you do, isn't it?"

"It doesn't have to be. There are plenty of things you can do. It doesn't even have to involve alcohol."

"Boring," Sasuke sighed. "Lighten up, please. You're in your early twenties, not your fifties."

"I'm wearing a skirt and heels," Itachi pointed out. "I think that I've 'lightened up' enough, thank you."

"You really would never have done this before, would you?" Deidara mused quietly, as he linked his hand into Itachi's. "I'm proud of you, yeah."

"I suppose that's far more true than false," Itachi acknowledged.

There wasn't much that could be construed as perfect about their current situation. Somewhere in the back of his mind he felt he should care, but the medication he was on was seemingly taking the panic he would normally feel and locking it away out of his reach. It was a strange feeling, but a welcome one.

"Who would have guessed we'd get this far considering all the obstacles in our way," Deidara noted. "If anyone had said that an artist would get with the lawyer-to-be I'd have laughed at them."

"I'm a teacher-to-be, not a lawyer."

"That's what you were studying when we met. Still- an artist and a teacher?"

"What's wrong with that? Besides you could teach art, couldn't you? Then it would be two teachers."

Deidara thought that over for a moment before nodding in agreement. "I guess I could. We could work together in the same school! That would be awesome!"

Itachi didn't respond, purely because he wasn't entirely sure if that would be awesome or not. As nice as working with Deidara would be, he had a suspicion it could also lead to mayhem; since mayhem followed Deidara around like a faithful puppy.

The walk they were taking took them through a small park. It was usually alive in the day but at night it served as a quick route towards one part of the town, or a temporary place to sleep for people after a night of heavy drinking. It was close to deserted as they headed through it, and thus so was the children's play equipment to one side of the path.

Naruto was the first to point to it in glee before running off to it. Deidara followed immediately, Kisame a few moments later, while Sasuke and Itachi stood on the path wearing identical unimpressed looks.

"Must you?" Sasuke called to them. "Come on, don't be stupid."

He was promptly ignored. Sighing, he headed towards a nearby swing set and sat on one irritably. Itachi joined him, lightly rocking the swing he was sitting on with his feet with a tiny smile on his face.

"It seems your boyfriend does the same kinds of things mine does," he pointed out. "I'm not surprised Deidara followed."

"Does it ever feel like you're more of a parent then a partner sometimes?" Sasuke asked, sounding a touch wistful.

"Yes. But not in a negative way, if that makes sense. It can be like that, but I wouldn't change it."

Sasuke seemed to mull that over, eyes on Naruto as he did. He was clambering up the metal slide, slipping as he went before finally making it to the top. Sasuke's gaze softened and he looked down at the ground, an awkward smile on his lips.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I know what you mean. Hey, Itachi?"

"Hmm?"

"Why isn't Deidara taking our name?"

"He's happy just being Deidara."

"What about his current surname?"

"He dislikes it and refuses to use it."

"Oh seriously? It's something stupid, right?"

"No. He just has issues with it, that's all. It's best not to ask about it."

Sasuke let the conversation drop, looking like he wanted to say something else. Itachi waited patiently, and was rewarded a couple of minutes later.

"Thanks," Sasuke muttered, not looking at his brother. "For not... Well... For not being a jackass to me even though I am to you sometimes. I am actually happy for you, though I'm never telling Deidara that."

"I appreciate it," Itachi smiled in response, reaching across to ruffle Sasuke's hair before stopping.

Instead he straightened the slide he was wearing to save messing his hair. "But you know what else I'd appreciate? I'd like a cinnamon wedding cake, you know."

"You want me to make it?" Sasuke asked, eyes wide. "I- of course I will. Don't blame me if it's awful, though. I've never made a big cake before."

"If it's easier you can make wedding cupcakes instead if you'd like."

"Cupcakes do sound like an easier choice."

"Then cupcakes it is," Itachi nodded. "Thanks, Sasuke. You can ice them with our wedding colours if you want."

"Which are?"

"I have no idea," Itachi admitted. "I haven't really thought about it, and Deidara's leaving it all in my hands. I'll talk to Mum about it I suppose."

They stayed in silence for a while just watching the others on the play equipment. The three of them had taken to sitting in the small space at the top of the slide, presumably talking between themselves. Itachi got up to find out what was going on, but was stopped by Sasuke's hand on his arm.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, Sasuke."

"Would you ever date a woman?"

Itachi narrowed his eyes slightly, sitting back down on the swing. "That's an odd question to ask. Care to explain your reasoning?"

"I was just wondering. Would you?"

"Yes. I don't mind what gender someone is, as long as they're a decent person inside. It took a while to realise that though, especially since my first major relationship was with a male. Would you?"

"No," Sasuke sighed. "It bothers me sometimes. I can't tell Naruto this because he'd take it to heart, but sometimes when Dad's getting on my case about having a girlfriend, I wish I could just do that and maybe it would improve the relationship between us."

"You don't have to date a woman to do that with Dad," Itachi pointed out. "You know what you need to do?"

"What?"

"Stop acting like a jerk to him," Itachi replied kindly as he tapped Sasuke on the forehead. "Come on, let's get these guys and make a move."

They approached the slide, Itachi halting at the sound of Naruto's voice and putting a hand out to Sasuke to do the same. He hadn't expected the tone of conversation to be so serious.

"-but I just wish he'd tell his parents about us, so I could feel like we're actually a couple," Naruto was saying. "He knows I feel like this, but it's Sasuke- he's not the easiest person to talk to."

"That's because he's a jackass," Deidara interjected helpfully.

"I think you have some talking to do," Itachi whispered to Sasuke, who looked sombre. Itachi gave him a pat on the shoulder before making his presence known at the bottom of the slide, calling up to them.

"Climb up!" Kisame smirked at him.

"Never," Itachi replied immediately. Heels and short skirt aside, he wouldn't be caught dead doing so. "We're leaving, so come down."

Upon arriving at the next bar they realised within seconds they'd walked into a warzone. A football match had been playing that evening- none of them were football fans, minus Kisame's over-patriotism when it came to country matches, so they had been unaware. The first couple of bars had had it showing on the screens, but their current bar it seemed people were taking it just a little too seriously.

"Perhaps we should move," Sasuke suggested as a chair flew past them.

"Oi you fucking tranny, move," one guy yelled at Sasuke, shoving him roughly to one side and stalking past him.

Itachi was two seconds away from chasing the guy down, but Sasuke apparently had it under control, exercising a severe lack of control when he grabbed the guy's shoulder, span him round and punched him square in the face.

"Fight!" Kisame yelled excitedly, and all hell broke loose. Itachi deftly stepped outside to avoid it all, while the others got stuck in.

The football fans were as inebriated as they were, but they took the cross dressing stag party occupants lightly. It was their downfall. Within minutes they were strewn across the floor, nursing their heads and various other body parts while four 'ladies' stood triumphantly over them.

"Don't fuck with me," Sasuke warned the guy who had pushed him, one foot on his head in warning.

The barman, who had been watching the fight disinterestedly, sighed audibly and picked up a shot glass.

"Are you having a drink or what?" He asked Sasuke, his tone bored. "It's on the house. That guy is a class A twat who I'm happy to see on the floor."

Sasuke smirked and accepted the proffered shot, knocking it back easily, and heading for the exit before any of the patrons decided to exact revenge. The others followed, meeting with Itachi outside.

"We won," Sasuke said simply. Itachi sighed in response and said nothing. "Come on, we'll go up the club."

"I'm not going in the club dressed like this."

"Then we'll go find a bathroom and change or something."

Keeping his word, Sasuke led them to a nearby public bathroom. The single guy who was present washing his hands gave the party a strange look as they traipsed inside, blinking a few times and clearly wondering if they were actually girls or not- a sure sign of too much to drink, since they obviously weren't.

"How encouraging," Itachi muttered, indicating a sign on the wall. "A sign outlining the dangers of drugs. Another sign next to it outlining the dangers of sharing needles. Another sign next to that indicating that the blue lighting currently blinding us is to deter intravenous drug use."

"There's a needle over there in the corner," Deidara pointed out helpfully.

"Right," Itachi remarked flatly. "I'll be outside."

"Still dressed like that?" Sasuke snickered.

"I'll work something out. I'm not touching anything in here."

"Priss," Sasuke teased.

"Enjoy your diseases," Itachi shot back, already halfway out the door.

"Do you think he realises how ridiculous he sounds?" Sasuke mused as he quickly changed his clothing into more suitable attire. "So there's some signs and a needle- big deal. It's not like he's going to touch it, is it?"

"I can still hear you," Itachi called to them from the doorway.

"Stop being petty," Sasuke called back.

By the time the four of them met Itachi outside he had already changed into normal clothes. Sasuke stared at him in disbelief. "You got changed in the middle of the street?"

"It was the better option," Itachi told him firmly. "You have no idea how glad I am to be rid of those heels."

"Now we're going to really dive into the alcohol," Kisame grinned as he reached into his bag. "Here. Another gift, since you guys just got rid of the L plates."

He pulled two stag horn headbands out, planting one on Deidara's head and the other on Itachi's. Itachi regarded him bemusedly for a moment before removing his, putting them on Deidara's head instead. Deidara grinned in response, happy to wear two pairs.

Plans for the club were almost thwarted. Sasuke was once again asked for his ID which prompted him to start yelling about how he was over eighteen and how the doormen were bastards, only for him to produce said ID and get refused entry for his attitude.

"Please," Itachi stepped in, shoving Sasuke roughly aside before he could spout any more verbal abuse to the doormen.

As much as he didn't want to go to the club, he didn't want to think what the alternatives Kisame and Sasuke could possibly come up with were. "I will take full responsibility for his actions tonight. Here is my ID. This is my stag night. I promise you that he is all talk and no action. He's simply had a few too many tonight and has forgotten his manners."

Sasuke, wisely, kept his mouth shut even though he was clearly aching to speak up. The doormen glanced between the two siblings, one of them inspecting Itachi's ID, before sighing and waving them past irritably.

"Thank you," Itachi said with a smile, before ushering Sasuke inside and out of their earshot. "You owe me," he shouted to his sibling, attempting to make himself heard over the noise.

The club was as Itachi predicted. The bassline of dance music thumped through them, making it impossible to hear one another. Thanks to anti-smoking laws the club wasn't thick with smoke- instead, a lingering scent of alcohol mixed with the aroma of cologne and perfume.

The dance floor was crowded with people who Itachi deemed far too young for such an environment, making him feel about ten years older than he was. It didn't help that Sasuke blended effortlessly with the young patrons, the eyes of many girls on him that he blatantly ignored.

"This isn't really your scene, is it?" Kisame pointed out when they were sitting in a corner together.

Naruto had dragged Sasuke to the dance floor, and Deidara had followed for reasons unbeknownst to Itachi. He suspected it had something to do with recapturing his younger days, judging by how content he looked dancing with no-one but himself.

"Definitely not," he agreed.

"Then how about a drinking game? Take a shot every time Sasuke scowls at someone. Take a shot every time Naruto drags Sasuke to do something he doesn't want to do, but Sasuke's so whipped he does it anyway. Take two shots every time Deidara and Sasuke fight."

"I would be paralytic in moments if I followed that last rule."

"Follow the rest then," Kisame smirked, leaving to get a tray of shots. Sighing in defeat, Itachi didn't argue when he returned- if he couldn't let his hair down on his stag night, when could he?

"Okay, here's the rules," Kisame stated as he lined the shots up on the table. "Take a shot every time any of the things outlined before happen. Also take a shot if a girl eyes your brother up. Take two shots if he gets looked up by a guy."

"Why do all of these rules centre my brother?"

"Because he's an easy target. Now come on, keep up with me pretty boy Uchiha."

"Resorting to my high school nickname? How old are you?" Itachi paused for just a moment, a smirk on his lips. "Captain."

Kisame's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You remember that nickname?"

"Why wouldn't I? You remember mine, don't you?"

"True. Good to see some fight in you. First shot's up, Sasuke just scowled at some girl for daring to dance into his personal space."

Two hours later, it was decided that making a move to go home would be a smart idea. Sasuke, who had spent most of the time on the dance floor sipping cocktails, was the one who initiated it simply because he had no idea what had happened to Itachi and Kisame in his absence.

One minute he had been on the dance floor and a glance to his brother and his oldest friend both showed them to be chatting quite normally, while Naruto and Deidara chatted amicably at the bar a few steps away.

Then a group of girls had surrounded him, each one of them vying for his interest, and he had averted his attention to getting rid of them. Ten minutes later, Deidara had approached to cautiously warn him that Itachi and Kisame had just finished off a tray of shots and were laughing hysterically at something. Itachi laughing in such a manner was unnerving, he had said.

Of course Sasuke had pushed him away, not caring what his brother got up to. He had begun to care when Itachi, clearly intoxicated, had come to find he and Deidara on the dance floor. Barely able to keep his balance, he circled one arm around each of them and attempted to pull them closer, resulting in nearly falling over.

Then he had given them a grin, told them that he loved them, and casually mentioned just how alike they were before leaving them alone. They had both stood and stared at one another, aghast at the suggestion, before Sasuke had decided it was time for his brother to quit the drinks because they clearly killed his brain cells.

And so, this led them to standing on the pavement outside of the club waiting for a taxi to arrive. The alcohol had loosened Sasuke's inhibitions a little, leaving him standing with one arm almost possessively around Naruto's waist while Naruto grinned from ear to ear at the public contact.

Deidara was playing with his mobile phone, seemingly reasonably sober compared to the rest of them, while Kisame attempted to hold Itachi upright. Since he was also paralytic it didn't work out very well, eventually leaving them both sprawled on the ground.

"Come on, get up," Kisame urged as he clambered unsteadily to his feet.

"Aye aye, Captain," Itachi responded before dissolving into laughter, though since he was Itachi it was pretty muted. Kisame laughed too, though none of the others got the apparent joke.

"This is classic," Sasuke remarked as he snapped photos with his mobile. "Neither of them are going to remember a thing in the morning."

"Itachi says they played a drinking game," Deidara mused as he glanced down at his boyfriend, an eyebrow raised in amusement. "He should know better, yeah. You Uchihas are lightweights."

"He might be a lightweight but I'm not, thank you Blondie."

"Bullshit, remember that time we-"

"Quiet, Naruto."

The taxi arrived in due time, though the driver looked unimpressed at the thought of taking a group of drunk young males. He said nothing though, keeping to himself for the duration of the drive home.

Naruto took it upon himself to pay the man, mostly because Sasuke was too busy laughing at his brother who had just fallen out of the side of the taxi once the door had been opened.

"Oh dear," he sighed as he jumped out to help Itachi up. "You're going to regret this tomorrow."

"It's your fault anyway," Itachi told him defiantly. "Scowling at people and brushing off girls- it's all your fault."

"Of course it is," Sasuke soothed, despite having no idea what his dear sibling was talking about. "Come on. We're all going to crash here tonight, okay?"

"The taxi's gone. Do I have a choice?"

"Nope."

"Alright then."

Once inside, Naruto took over mothering duty, making all present drink some water to help offset the liquor before shooing them all off to bed. Kisame, Naruto and Sasuke made use of the living room while Deidara and Itachi made their way to the bedroom.

"Good night?" Deidara asked, as they collapsed onto the bed.

"Mm," Itachi murmured, still fully clothed as he closed his eyes, clearly not caring.

"It's nice to see you let yourself go a little, yeah. You should do it more often."

"Mm."

"You can't even hold a coherent conversation, can you?"

"I love you."

Deidara had to smile at that, flicking out the light. "I love you too."

Chapter End