Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ A Mother's Son ❯ A Good Man? ( Chapter 18 )

You think you have time, when you find out. You think `oh, it's going to be okay. I've got nine months to prepare'. But nine months can blow right past. In the course of nine months, you can lose the man you love, and see another man in a way you never dreamt possible.

And when you're alone, sitting in your prison, a tag on your wrist, you think that time is slowed down, because he's not in the room. But it moves at the same speed. Even though you're alone, and you're scared, and you're cursing yourself for letting him out of your sight, even just for a second.

Time doesn't slow down. You do.

In nine months, you get lazy, get cocky. You've got so many people protecting you; you start to think you're untouchable. That you're safe.

But there's no such thing as safety. The minute you think that you're safe, that you're okay, that's when you know it's all blown to hell.

Because it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter how many people are protecting you. You're still just you. And you, alone, is very, very unsafe.

The voice wisped above her ear moments after she registered a presence in the room. Sakura threw herself from the bed, and the weight that leant against her back. She spun, hands raised to defend herself, clenched into fists. She took in the sight of the person who had startled her.

“Itachi.”

The man said nothing, but continued to lounge on the bed where Sakura had been. She relaxed her defensive stance, but only slightly. She watched the older Uchiha warily. “What do you want?” she asked finally, when she realized he was not going to speak first.

He moved so quickly that Sakura was unsure when it had happened. Suddenly, he was inches away from her, his impassive face studying her. “Haruno Sakura.” He said quietly, not moving. Sakura was shocked still. She could not move her body. She was caught in his gaze. Itachi smiled, but barely. “What is it about you…that fascinates my brother so?” he asked quietly, stroking her hair and letting a few strands fall between his fingers. “He cannot leave you alone. When he got word of the boy…” Itachi let out a chuckle, nearly making Sakura flinch. “The look on his face. He thought that the Kyuubi boy had fathered him. He went to take you back, away from Naruto. Was that just their rivalry on his part, or is there something about you…that I am unaware of?” Itachi seemed genuinely curious.

“I…I don't know.” Sakura whispered, while she followed Itachi's gaze like a snake caught in a charm. He smiled pityingly at her.

“He means to take you, did you know? To make you his. To make you bound to him.” Itachi told her this idly, and it took Sakura a moment to realize what he said.

“He won't!” she said forcefully. Sasuke was a lot of things, but Sakura could never see him as a rapist.

Itachi didn't answer, instead stared into her. “When he saw the boy, he knew. And he came right to me.” Itachi explained quietly. Sakura wondered to herself why Itachi was sharing this with her at all. “He's always had an obsession with restoring the clan. And he had already started; only he didn't know. It was ironic. He dragged me in to his scheme.”

“Why?” Sakura whispered, her breath coming short and quick. She felt like a trapped animal.

“Contrary to popular belief, I do feel guilt.” Itachi responded. “I will help my brother, I do not truly wish for him to hate me.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Sakura breathed, watching Itachi's crimson eyes. They never broke contact with her. His hands were still absently roaming her body, but she couldn't find the strength to force him to stop.

“I wanted you to be prepared, for tonight. He will take you into his bed, whether or not you wish to. You have born one Uchiha child already. Sasuke is greedy.” Itachi paused, leaning in to whisper in her ear. Sakura could feel his hot breath on her skin, and shivered. “He wants another heir. He'll force it from you.”

Sakura gasped, finally able to move. She shoved Itachi violently. He stumbled back, as did she. She fell down, staring up at the man. “You're a monster!” she spat at him. He seemed strangely affected by her words.

“I am not the one planning to rape you.” He replied. “When he's inside you, and you're begging him to stop, ask yourself who the real monster is.” With that he turned and left the room, leaving a shell shocked Sakura half lying on the stone floor.

Silence permeated the room oppressively. She felt as though she would cry. Why had Itachi even come to speak with her? Had he only meant to mess with her mind? Get her scared for the fun of it? Sasuke wasn't possibly going to do the things Itachi said…was he?

She felt the fear trickle in her mind, slowly at first, but soon she felt the cold envelop her and she was shaking. She couldn't let that happen. She wouldn't become a victim. Not to him. She tried to stand, letting out a strangled sob when she heard Daisuke's voice in the hall. She wanted to run to him, but her fear of the man he was with kept her hidden in her spot.

She heard Dai's voice, chattering about the most mundane things, and Sasuke's deep voice replying. Sakura let out another sob. It was all coming to fast. This domestic life, the one they could have had, if Sasuke hadn't left. If Sasuke had been a father to Dai, they would be something similar to this. They would be chatting and family meals and everything that Naruto was. This deep ache for the life she could have had with Sasuke was contrasted by the overwhelming anxiousness at the thought of Sasuke ever forcing himself upon her. She knew he had changed while he had been away, but was it possible for a good man to change that much?

Sakura had to fight herself to keep from crying. If Sasuke had been a real father to Dai, Naruto could have been Hokage. Instead of that incompetent man who had taken over for Tsunade, who had grown weary of the work too soon. And Sakura could have been a doctor, a trained medic, if she hadn't been so caught up in missing Sasuke.

Really, this was his entire fault.

The realization sunk in like bricks. Sakura felt the urge to cry ebb away, and she straightened. She listened to the chatter in the next room, before opening the bedroom door and walking into the sitting room. Sasuke looked up immediately, taking in her shaking hands and red eyes, coupled with the tear tracks down her face. He stood immediately.

“What's wrong?” he demanded. Sakura looked at him, anger raw and hard in her expression. Her voice was harsh and grating when she yelled at him.

“You! You're what's wrong!” she cried. Sasuke took a step back. Daisuke looked up at his mother. He hadn't seen her so mad in a long time. Not since Dad had painted the kitchen orange as a surprise.

“You left, Sasuke!” Sakura said. “You left and now, now you're back, infecting everything! I, I have something, you know. Plans. Naruto has plans for us. We're getting married, and he loves me!”

“And you?” Sasuke asked, his voice cold. His jaw was clenched. “What about you?”

“Me?” Sakura asked. “Me? Now you're thinking about me? That's a pretty big surprise! You wanna know? You wanna know about me? I stopped loving you, Sasuke! I don't love you anymore. It sickens me to think of the ways I wanted you! It makes me nauseas to think of the ways I pined for you. Cried for you.”

Sasuke clenched his fists. “What is the point of this?” he asked, his voice clipped.

“I love Naruto!” Sakura replied earnestly. “I love him! And I'm stuck here, with you! And he thinks…he thinks I have doubts about him. But I don't. I love him so much, Sasuke, and you took me away from him, so you know what? You are what's wrong with me. You are what's wrong with everything.”

Sasuke strode forward, grabbing Sakura by the shoulders. He kissed her fiercely. Angrily, she pushed him away. “Itachi told me what you were planning.” Sakura hissed. Sasuke's eyes widened and he looked at Daisuke quickly. Sakura started to silently channel chakra towards her fist. “But it won't ever work. You could fuck me a thousand times tonight, and it will all be for nothing!”

Sasuke's face scrunched in confusion. Sakura laughed harshly at the expression. “You can't get a pregnant girl pregnant!” she screamed at him. Her face was red with anger and exertion, and Daisuke had backed up as far as he could while still staying on the couch. Sakura threw her chakra infused fist towards Sasuke's face, feeling the impact make a sickening crunch.

She felt the bones of his jaw give way to her strength cleanly. He soared away from her, hitting the wall across the room. Blood poured from his mouth and nose. Sakura looked at him, breathing heavily. “I will never, never, let you touch me again, Uchiha Sasuke.” She said quietly. She knew Sasuke heard her by the way his eyes flicked from her to the ground. “There will never be another child for you from me. The rest of my life, I will never let you touch me.”

Feeling the air go out of her suddenly, Sakura stumbled back a step, feeling her strength drain away. She looked over at Dai, who looked terrified. Furious with herself, she ran to her son, who flinched away. “Oh baby, I'm so sorry,” she whispered, pulling the shaking boy into a tight hug. Self-loathing filled her heart, and she tried to comfort her son. “I am so, so, sorry. But we'll be home soon, okay? And Daddy'll make you some soup, the kind you like best, okay? And you'll see Aniline and maybe Kakashi too.”

“Old gray man?” Daisuke asked in a small voice. Sakura laughed at the nickname.

“Yea. Old gray man will tell you a story, okay?”

“Okay.” His voice was less frightened now, but Sakura could tell he was still spooked. Unsure of what else to do, she soothed Dai's tick hair, petting it gently.

“I'm sorry.” Sakura said again, ignoring the bleeding mad behind her. She picked Daisuke up and exited the suite. She ran headlong into Itachi. Obviously he had been listening to their whole exchange. Sakura scowled at him.

“I don't care if everything you said was a lie. He had that coming anyway.” She told him. Itachi said nothing, only looked at her expectantly. Sakura sighed, rolling her eyes. “He's still alive.” She conceded. Itachi nodded, moving to walk past her.

“Wait in the kitchen.” He ordered her. Sakura frowned at the command, but knew that the band on her wrist kept her from leaving. She had read about the chakra infused collars that kept people within certain boundaries. It was annoying.

When you think about it, when you really stop to think, you become terrified. Of everything. Of losing it. Losing the baby is the worst thing imaginable. Because even if you don't want it, you sure as hell don't want to be responsible for killing it.

So walking up stairs is terrifying, for what if you fell? You can hardly stand in a kitchen, knives are everywhere, and kitchen fires could make your baby's lungs thick with smoke.

It's terrifying.

What's even worse is the waiting.

Waiting in the cold kitchen for the broken man who calls himself your baby's father to come and hurt you. And you're not sure if he'll stop with you, or if he'll decide that it's both of your faults, and that your baby deserves some pain.

You're never afraid for yourself. You're always, forever, eternally scared for that child. The one that ruined your life. The one that forced you to grow up too fast. The one that showed you that religion isn't about God. It's about believing.

And God, when you're terrified, there isn't anything you can do, besides believe.

Leaves whipped past his face, the cold night air doing nothing to slow him down. Naruto was the wind. He moved gracefully, Kakashi sprinting along the treetops beside him. They said nothing, they didn't need to. They both knew their objective, both knew their destination.

It was early morning. Naruto had been up with the dawn, dressed before Kakashi had even started to yawn his way awake. Aniline had fed them silently, moving tensely, her body stiff and sore. She was taking Sarah out for the day, so she shooed the two shinobi out as quickly as possible. As Kakashi left, she had linked her hand in his and asked him not to die.

He promised heartily, but she did not trust him.

Kakashi and Naruto, on their way out of the village, had discussed the location of the nearest Akatsuki base. Its location was common knowledge, due to the Akatsuki barely ever using it. But as the closet base to the Hidden Leaf village, it was Naruto's best bet for Sakura's location.

They ran swiftly, covering the distance between the village and the base easily. By noon, they found themselves at the edge of the large forest, looking in on the top layer of a stone bunker.

“What are the chances that anyone besides the Uchiha are here?” Naruto asked. His Sensei paused, considering the question.

“Slim. I think they would want to keep this low key.” Kakashi replied slowly. “But let's not count on that. The entrance is there.” He pointed to a large mound of grass. “There's a trapdoor there. We need to get in, quietly, and then hit them with all we've got.”

Naruto nodded. The pair crept slowly through the sunlight, listening for any other bodies in their range. They reached the trapdoor without incident, and Naruto scanned it. “No obvious traps.” He whispered, and Kakashi nodded. Naruto flung the door open and hopped inside to the stone steps below. Kakashi followed him.

As they moved through the second door, Naruto smirked to himself. They had done it. They had really done it. They had snuck into the Akatsuki base and were well on their way to saving Sakura.

That was all that mattered.

After the terror, after the waiting, there's silence. There's the wailing of your son in the background, but all you're focused on is the silence of your tormentor. As blood pours from your nose and you're spitting pink, all there is for you is silence.

Trying to hold on to empty space is impossible. Trying to hold on to the idea that your persecutor is a good man, deep down, is even harder.

And he was a good man. I really believed that. At one time, Sasuke had been a good man. Who he was now, I had no idea.