Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ A Red Rose ❯ Chapter 9 ( Chapter 9 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

A/N: Sorry about the uber-late posting. I started an online Publishing Certificate program in September and thought that it would be easy to keep up with writing, work, and my courses since I could do the assignments in my own time. Apparently I was dead wrong. I’m on Christmas break right now (still have work though), so I’m trying to catch up as best I can, but I won’t be able to post for Opposites Attract or Evanescence for a while yet and you may not see another Red Rose update until March at the earliest (depending on how much free time I can find to write over the holidays). Again, sorry about this.

Please see my profile page for regular updates on my progress for all of my fanfictions. Thank you! (And I’ll try to actually keep it updated this time, haha.)

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Why? Why would I put a block on my own memories? What could have caused me to use such a drastic measure?

I considered these questions as I lay alone on Itachi’s bed.

Itachi and I had returned to his home shortly after my disastrous—yet still somewhat enlightening—appointment at the hospital. Rather than going to his room or out back for some training, Itachi had led me to the kitchen. There, I met his mother for the first time.

She was a middle-aged woman and bore the typical attributes that I was coming to attribute to Itachi’s kin: dark hair, dark eyes, and a fine bone structure. She had smiled kindly at me as I cautiously followed Itachi into the room. After a brief introduction, Mikoto had graciously asked if I was hungry.

She didn’t ask me any questions about myself or even mention my memory loss, even though I was sure she must have been informed about her amnesic house guest. Rather, she simply treated me as though I were just another friend dropping by for a visit. For that, I was grateful.

In response to her request, I told her that she didn’t have to cook for me, despite the fact that I was pretty hungry. But she insisted and proceeded to create a lavishly large meal that I had no idea if I would even be able to finish.

In no time at all, however, I found myself ravenously digging into the delicious food. Mikoto smiled at my appetite and, as soon as I had finished, she immediately placed a second helping in front of me before I could refuse. So I just thanked her for the food and continued eating, gradually filling my seemingly perpetually empty stomach.

My initial hunger gone, I was able to eat this second portion more slowly. As I ate, I observed the interactions between Itachi and his mother to distract myself from other thoughts that I wasn’t ready to face just yet.

I noticed that neither of them were eating, which left me feeling slightly awkward, but I wasn’t comfortable enough with Mikoto to ask why they weren’t, and the thought of asking Itachi in front of his mother only made the feeling of awkwardness increase. So I stayed silent as they spoke to each other.

From the content of their conversation, however, it seemed as though they were just making small-talk to pass the time. Mostly it was Mikoto asking questions that Itachi replied to in quick, short answers. The topics revolved mostly around issues and events involving their extended family, but there were a lot of unfamiliar names involved, so I wasn’t able to follow much of it.

Both Itachi and Mikoto were polite towards each other, but the outward displays of affection that are typical between mother and son were absent. I wondered if the distance with which they treated each other was because of my presence or if they always acted in this manner.

I wouldn’t have put it past Itachi to restrain himself from physical displays of affection, even to family—he appeared to be reserved about life in general—but I was surprised at Mikoto, especially after her friendly greeting towards me earlier. Maybe there was something deeper going on that I wasn’t aware of? After all, I already knew that there was no love between Itachi and his father from the previous encounters that I had been privy to.

Eventually I finished eating and had to say farewell to Mikoto when Itachi told me that he was taking me back to his room.

We had spoken fairly freely with each other earlier today, but now our walk was once more filled only with silence. I had thought that we were past not talking to each other—at least when we were alone—but our previous banter already seemed long since passed. What had happened to our easy conversation from earlier? The silence just gave me too much time to think and I didn’t want to think right now.

I wanted to say something to break the silence, but I didn’t know how to begin. Right at that moment I didn’t have any questions that wouldn’t seem like banal chatter they were. From his concentrated gaze, Itachi appeared to be contemplating something in his own mind and didn’t seem inclined to start a conversation either.

I sighed and the silence continued.

As soon as we arrived at his door, Itachi informed me that he had to have dinner with his family (apparently the reason why he and his mother hadn’t eaten with me) and that I was to stay in his room until he returned. He also warned me that he was sealing me in and that it wouldn’t be a good idea for me to try to escape. His subsequent gesture to my new bracelet was completely unnecessary, as was the sealing.

I asked him where I would even escape to, but he just turned and left without replying, leaving me alone to grumble in frustration.

The shadow of Itachi’s feet remained behind the closed door for a minute, during which I could hear the sounds of slight movements, before the shadow disappeared down the hall. I had no doubt that I truly was sealed in and that escape really was a very bad idea. I had no intention of trying to escape anyway though. Like I had told Itachi, I had no place to run to and I wasn’t going to break my word to the Hokage while I believed that he was trying to find my family—the tracking bracelet notwithstanding.

And that was how I found myself alone in Itachi’s room with nothing to do but lay on the bed and stare at the ceiling with nothing but my unwelcome thoughts to keep me company.

Boredom quickly became my worst enemy. I tried counting the marks and gouges on the ceiling that looked oddly like holes made from a kunai, but that got old fast. I needed to be doing something a little more productive than that.

I considered perusing through Itachi’s collection of scrolls and books, but after what had nearly happened the last time I had picked one up, I wasn’t willing to take the risk.

Unsurprisingly, my mind gradually returned to the one topic that I just couldn’t ignore, no matter how hard I tried: the revelation from this afternoon that I had, for whatever reason, blocked my own memories. Santoshi’s words repeated themselves over and over again in my mind.

You were the one who put it there...

I rolled over and shoved my face into Itachi’s pillow, groaning at myself. I had no idea why I would want to get rid of my own memories, but I was beginning to dread the answer. It must have been either extremely horrible to extremely important for me to go to such lengths.

As my mind created increasingly terrifying reasons why, it suddenly occurred to me that, as I had created it in the first place, it stood to reason that I could take the block down. Alone as I was at the moment, I could attempt to break into my own memories while relieving my boredom at the same time. Two birds, one stone.

I closed my eyes and tried to relax both my mind and body. It took a while, but eventually I was able to clear my mind and successfully enter into a state of calm and serenity. I had already grasped the basics myself as to how to use my chakra on my way to meet with Ibiki that day, so I felt confident that I would be able to call it up again.

I knew that I had to maintain control so that what I had inadvertently done to the doctor that afternoon wouldn’t happen again, so I worked cautiously. Once I felt that tug of energy, I carefully started manipulating it to my will. It was a slow, lethargic process, but I wanted to keep up my peaceful state of mind and couldn’t risk my chakra reacting to any heightened emotions.

Beginning with the chakra at my center, I slowly took control of increasing amounts of it as I moved the controlled portion up my body, towards my head. I lost track of time but, at long last, managed to feel and control the chakra in my brain. Almost immediately I could feel a wall of chakra wrapped around a significant portion of my brain, obviously the section where my memories were stored. Curiously, I could feel a second type of chakra, different from my own, also residing in a much smaller section of my mind. I figured that it was probably a leftover piece of Santoshi’s chakra and shrugged it off. I’d ask Itachi about it later.

The chakra under my control moved hesitantly towards the chakra block. I had no idea what exactly I was doing and the block was much larger than I had expected. Suddenly, I was thinking that maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea.

Maybe I was being impulsive and naïve but I wasn’t about to give up now when I could possibly get my memories back. So I took the proverbial leap.

I poked at the block with my chakra.

The chakra block took me by surprise when it poked back. I had expected either a violent reaction, like what had happened to Santoshi, or no reaction at all as it was my chakra after all. While the forceful return poke had made me wince—it felt like a sharp headache—it was bearable and the pain faded quickly when I withdrew my chakra.

Deciding that I could deal with a headache, even a severe one if necessary, if it meant breaking the block and getting my memories back, I poked again, slightly harder this time. The barrier didn’t break and again I received a returning poke, a little stronger this time to match the increased force of my own.

The pain was more intense and lasted longer than before but it still wasn’t enough to deter me from trying again.

This time, however, I summoned up more chakra than before and, instead of a brief poke, I threw it at the block in a prolonged and concentrated push. The pain that rushed back at me was severe to the point that I gasped out loud, breaking my concentration.

Completely withdrawing my chakra from my mind, I clutched at my head, moaning as it throbbed under my touch. It felt like my head was trying to explode and the pain was starting to make me feel sick to my stomach.

I needed to get to the bathroom immediately!

The dim light stabbed at my eyes as I abruptly forced them open. Sitting up quickly made me wishing that I had stayed laying down and, despite my urgency to get to the bathroom, I had to stay still with my head in my hands before I could attempt to move again. My shaking legs barely held me up as I shuffled painfully to the bathroom door and I had to clutch at the wall in order to stay upright.

As soon as I reached the toilet, I fell to my knees in front of it and heaved that previously heavenly meal into the porcelain bowl. Tears streamed down my face and my body couldn’t stop shaking even after my stomach had emptied itself and the dry heaves had passed.

It took a couple tries but I managed to press the flush lever. There was a foul, acrid taste in my mouth and I was eternally grateful that I had already bought a toothbrush.

Once my mouth was clean and I had splashed some water on my overheated face, I stumbled back to the bed. Collapsing on it, my head still hurt but it was down to a dull throb that was immensely more tolerable than it had been. Still, the persistant ache prevented me from succumbing to relieving unconsciousness. So I just lay there, trying not to think too hard, or at all if I could help it.

I wasn’t sure how much time passed, but the room had grown dark behind my closed eyelids when Itachi returned. I hadn’t been able to find the strength to get up and turn on the light so the room was pitch black when he walked in.

“What happened?” Itachi’s voice demanded as soon as the light flicked on. I was curled in a ball on top of his sheets, my arms wrapped around my head, so his question didn’t come as much of a surprise.

Still, coherent speech was still eluding me so I could only groan in response.

There was no sound for a moment as Itachi didn’t move, then came the sound of someone approaching the bed. I felt the mattress dip as he sat next to where I lay.

“I can’t help if you don’t tell me what happened.” The harshness from his previous demand was gone as he spoke now. Instead, he seemed almost… lost; like he really had no idea what to do. He didn’t attempt to physically comfort me, but that hint of concern in his voice spurred me to try and speak in return.

I managed to open my eyes but kept my face adverted, staring at mattress instead of meeting his gaze. I didn’t know what I would see if I looked into his eyes at that moment and was worried that, despite the vocal undertones, they would as blank as they had been so many times before.

“I tried to break the block on my memories and failed,” I explained.

“You- You tried to break the block?” For the first time, Itachi sounded stunned. I couldn’t repress the small smile that broke through the aches and pains at the fact that I had managed to surprise him.

“I was sort of experimenting with how to control my chakra earlier today and I was pretty good at it. So I thought that I would try to break the block myself since I was the one that created it in the first place..”

“You thought that you had figured out how to control your chakra on your own and then just decided that you’d play around in your mind with your newly discovered control. That was extremely foolish. How in the world did you come to the conclusion that you would succeed where a trained medic-nin had failed?” Itachi’s tone stayed neutral during his entire speech but his words still cut me deep.

I opened my mouth to argue that I had a better chance than anybody to break the barrier since I had been the one to put it there, but Itachi wasn’t done yet.

“While I’m impressed that you were able to grasp how to use chakra so quickly and without any instruction, that was an extremely dangerous and risky thing for you to do. You could have severely damaged your mind and damage to the mind can easily become permanent.”

I finally looked up and met Itachi’s gaze… and was shocked to see just how angry he really was. The fury was simply simmering in his eyes. Was all that anger because I could have hurt myself? I was… touched.

“I wasn’t thinking-”

“Obviously. If you had been thinking you wouldn’t have attempted something so foolish,” Itachi said and his words burned like a brand, cauterizing the words from before.

Wow, okay then. Touched feeling gone.

“If you’d condescend to let me get a word in, I’d tell you that I wasn’t thinking about the consequences because I’d rather at least try and deal with any pain than live forever without my memories!”

“You should have let a professional handle it.”

“Like Santoshi? That’s a great idea! Let’s go get another medic-nin so that he can get zapped by my chakra too!”

“Of course not another medic-nin. A medic-nin obviously won’t be able to help in this case. Ibiki-”

“Oh, perfect! That’s even better! Let’s let the torture expert root around in my head! What if I am from some enemy village or something? What would happen then? No, thank you. I’d rather not find out.”

By this point I was fully sitting up and we were shouting—okay, I was shouting but Itachi’s words spoke volumes all on their own. Despite glaring at each other, however, Itachi actually seemed to be considering my point.

“Then we need someone else who has sufficient chakra control to work within the mind, an excellent knowledge of the chakra systems, and preferably the ability to see what they’re doing, because you are not doing that again.”

Itachi’s logic was sound and my anger slowly began to ebb. The adrenaline from our little fight had temporarily kept the pain in my head at bay, but now I rubbed at my skull as it crept back in with a vengeance.

“And do you know anybody like that?” I asked, not really expecting a positive answer after my run of bad luck.

“I do,” he said. “A Hyuuga would work, but I doubt they’d be willing, especially as you are residing with us. The Hokage could order them to help, but I don’t think he’d want to risk getting on their bad side with everything else that’s going on.”

“Everthing else?” I questioned, but I sighed when Itachi fixed me with a look that explicitly told me to back off.

I rolled my eyes, and regretted the motion as it simply made me dizzy. “Alright, anyone else then?”

“One of my clan, an Uchiha, could potentially do it, but my clan members typically don’t have the kind of fine chakra control that would be required.”

Well, that was useless. “I guess it’s up to me then,” I said nodding. Just as I had thought.

“I didn’t say that,” Itachi replied slowly.

I crossed my arms. “Well, who then?”

“I said that our clan members typically don’t possess the needed degree of chakra control. Currently, there is one who does.” Itachi seemed hesitant to explain further, but I jumped at the chance that someone could truly help me. If I couldn’t do it myself first, of course.

“Tell me! Who can do it?” I demanded. Please, please don’t let it be his father. I shuddered at the thought of letting that man into my head.

“Me.”

“Seriously?” I stared at Itachi, wondering why I was surprised when he had already confirmed, through both words and actions, that he was skilled.

He nodded in response.

“Why didn’t you tell me as soon as we found out that my memories were being blocked?” I was stubbornly trying to hold on to my previous anger but it was quickly being replaced by the excitement of possibly, finally, having a solution to my plight.

Itachi looked away. “Before the hospital, we didn’t know what was blocking your memories before, or even that they were being blocked and not simply erased, and since then it hasn’t exactly come up until now.”

I had to concede that point. After all, I had been alone for the majority of the evening.

“Alight, so when do we start?”

“Not tonight,” he said. “Right now you need to rest.”

“Rest might be a long time coming tonight if the way my head is pounding is anything to judge by,” I admitted.

“A result of your haphazard attempt no doubt,” Itachi chided.

Then he shifted and rested both of his hands on either side of my head. “I may not be a medic-nin, but I can help fix a headache. The Uchiha’s are prone to them when we overstrain—never mind.”

Itachi’s hands began glowing green with what I recognized as healing chakra.

“Overstrain what?”

The green glow continued but Itachi’s eyes narrowed in warning. “I said never mind. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

I grumbled under my breath but didn’t pursue the subject. I would work it out of him later. Right then, as the pain in my head faded under Itachi’s healing touch, I was quickly realizing just how tired I was. By the time the pain had completely disappeared, I couldn’t stop yawning.

When he finished, Itachi got up from the bed and held out his hand to help me do the same.

“Where are we going?” I asked, confused. I had thought I was supposed to sleep.

“To your room. Mother just finished setting it up. With the tracking bracelet on, there is no need for constant supervision so you can stay in a room of your own.”

“Oh, okay,” I said, taking his hand.

As grateful as I was for the privacy that a separate room offered and avoiding the awkwardness that inherently came with sharing one, I was also slightly disappointed, and a little nervous. While I had been staying with Itachi in his room, I had always known that someone was nearby; more specifically, someone who would be alert for any danger. And I had taken comfort in that fact. A room of my own meant that I would be alone at night while I slept, leaving myself vulnerable. There would be nobody guarding me, whether for my protection or for that of others, from his place on the floor in the dark of the night.

But I didn’t want to complain after I had been so unwilling to stay in Itachi’s room initially, and I would appreciate the privacy. I had also been basically kicking him out of his own bed by staying there.

So I followed Itachi out of his room… and to the very next door down the hall. I almost sighed in relief that I wasn’t going to be shoved into some dark, creepy room in some unused wing of the compound all by myself.

While there were no personal effects, giving the room an almost sparse look, it was nicely furnished. The soft, neutral tones soothed my senses and the comfortable-looking bed, complete with a cushy duvet, called for me to dive right in.

“Is this adequate?” Itachi asked while I took it all in.

“More than,” I replied. “It’s perfect.”

“Good. Make sure you get plenty of rest. I have some obligations that I must attend to tomorrow morning, but Mother will come wake you.”

“Alright.”

Itachi started to move back towards the door but lingered a moment.

“Goodnight then,” he finally said.

I smiled a little at his awkwardness. “Goodnight.”

Itachi nodded once, almost to himself, then retreated out into the hallway.

By the time the door had finished swinging shut, I had snuggled under the sheets until I was buried beneath the mounds of fabric. Cocooned in my make-shift cave, and with the knowledge that Itachi was just through the next door should anything happen, I drifted off quicker that I had thought I would.

My dreams were rapid and blurry, but the screams that punctuated them were crystal clear. I tossed and turned multiple times and eventually had to crack open the window so that the coolness of the night air could help dispel the feeling of terror that the indistinct dreams left me with.

But the screams continued to echo in my mind and I drifted in and out of consciousness throughout the night. At one point, as I was halfway between dreaming and waking, I thought I heard a noise from outside the open window. It sounded almost as though something had moved through the branches of the bush growing underneath the sill. But there was no wind that night and, in the light of the following morning, I passed it off as a delusion from one of my nightmares.