Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Aliens Are Not Pets ❯ Once Upon a Sudden Crash ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Hello Hopeless Blue Kiss here with a new story for you. I came up with this story while petting one of my tuxedo cat's bottle brush tails. It's so fluffy I couldn't resist him and his purring like a tiny lawnmower on top of my chest. So I thought to myself, Naru-chan should have a cute cat like this and not just any cat, a cat boy. I love odd Naru-chan pairings and I thought Kimi-kun would make a beautiful cat boy, but let's be honest; Sasuke and Itachi are beautiful, selfish, independent and as unpredictable as a cat would be. So without knowing it there were three cats vying for Naruto's affections. And just to make this extra special, since cat stories have been done more than a few times in fanfics, I made them alien felines. It's plausible. Have you ever seen a cat's eyes glowing at night, it's a spooky kind of awesomeness. Now that have you seen my weird logic in creating this story I hope you enjoy and leave a comment on the story. Hopefully if it's one of the stories that get high reviews I'll continue updating it the rest of the year.

'You're so hypnotizing/ Could you be the devil/ Could you be an angel/ Your touch magnetizing/ Feels like I am floating/ Leaves my body glowing'

~E.T. by Katy Perry

Aliens are Not Pets

Chapter One: Once Upon a Sudden Crash

We come into this world, naked and afraid. We are unsure of what is waiting on the other side as we are forced out of our warm cocoons into the harsh and cold terrain of the real world. We are needy, greedy things wanting to be reassured that the strange people and things around us are friendly and have only the best intentions for us. Or that was at least what the nameless extraterrestrial felt when he entered this world, more like crash-landed unexpectedly.

His first tangible thoughts, once he regained consciousness were, 'It hurts… Everything… It hurts, from my ears all the way down to my tail.'

It was more than a few minutes before turquois orbs managed to blink back the shimmering film of tears that had begun to accumulate behind his eyelids as he finally managed to shimmy and wiggle the last bit of himself from the crumpled wreckage that was his stolen space ship. The space traveler had ungracefully dropped headfirst, a foot or two, down onto what was left of a snow-covered knoll after his vehicle had gotten through with it.

His breathe was knocked clean from his already battered body upon impact; his bleeding lips gaped open to greedily take in the much needed air while unconsciously tasting the metallic, bitter-sweetness of his own blood. Licking his bloody, chapped lips, he vaguely realized somewhere in the back of his mind that the environment that he had crash-landed into was inhabitable enough that he could breathe without his lungs collapsing or imploding in on itself. But the cold substance that was under him and swirled around him in dizzying white tufts was already burning his many exposed cuts and bruises.

Gritting his teeth together the extraterrestrial let out a steady hiss of pain like a punctured balloon as he gingerly shifted from his back to his stomach in order to better survey not only the damage to his space vessel but the world he was now inhabiting. Rapidly blinking back more tears, he pushed his palms against what appeared to be frozen water. He wrinkled his nose in distaste, hating the substance already on the principle that he was a cat and water in any form, whether liquid or solid, was a cruel mistress; but he bore with it to look at the small spaceship that he had 'borrowed'.

The nameless alien swore in his native tongue as he looked at his vehicle that looked more like a trash compacted can then the ill-begotten transportation that had rescued him from his god awful planet. It was clear, even from a novice who had never driven a spaceship until recently, that nothing could be salvaged after a crash like that except for whatever the feline male had managed to carry on his person. He was more than sure that if it wasn't for 'the devil's luck' that he was rumored to have and his superior bone density; that seemed only second strongest to the strongest, precious metal on his home planet, then he would have been just as compressed and unsalvageable as the spaceship embedded in the sizable crater.

He had stolen the spaceship in the first place in hopes of finding a planet where he could be accepted despite being a bad omen on his own home planet. He had stubbornly refused to believe that being an albino, an obvious genetic defect, could result in a global shunning where he was forced to live on the outskirts of civilization fending for himself by stealing and accepting charity where he could. He knew that he deserved better but it was hard to believe that when his spaceship was thrown off course by a meteor shower that tore a portion off the vehicle, before the auto-pilot malfunctioned as he tried to deter his transportation from being sucked by the gravitational pull of the planet he had crashed onto.

The feline alien had tried his best to deter the ships descent but by that time everything was utter anarchy. All he could do was brace for impact and hope to Kami that he made it through it in one piece and he did. But just because he had made it through the aftermath of the collision, didn't mean he was safe on this strange planet as he instinctively began to crawl to safety. There wasn't that much in the way of foliage that could completely hide him. A few bare trees, an iron and wood park bench every few kilometers, a wilted flower garden and a clump of bushes a few yards away.

The outcast was determined that with the last bit of strength he would drag his battered body within the leafy domain of the bushes before he collapsed from sheer exhaustion and pain. But he was unable to complete his goal, his body failing him as his cold fingers managed, after a few painstaking minutes, to brush one glossy leaf that had yet to browned up and die. Turquoise eyes were by this point too tired to stay open as he practically curled his body around the only item he owned in the world, a small white flower suspended within a clear ball; his only friend in the world.

ELSEWHERE AT THAT SAME MOMENT

A blonde chef swirled his pan of sautéed onions, plump white rice, and mushrooms with the help of his wooden spoon. Occasionally he would pause to taste it with a special spoon before humming and sprinkling some sort of spice among the plethora offered in the spice rack next to him. He only abandoned the pan to finish basting a duck that was in danger of drying out before returning back to the task at hand.

"Hey Chouji, could you put that back in the oven for me and then check and see if my beef wellingtons are done yet? Thanks. I need them like yesterday," he called over his shoulder before wiping his sweaty forehead against his sleeve.

Half of the kitchen staff and one-third of the wait staff had come down with the flu that was going around. It left him and the limited few to man the stations on the cusp of one of the worst blizzards reportedly heading their way. Normally they would have closed down early despite whatever protests the workaholic blonde might have but the Ando wedding party had book their restaurant months in advance and until they finished serving them, no one could go home. The blonde chef was about to pick up his wooden spoon again to stir but found that it was in the hands of his high-maintenance boss, one Tsunade Sannin.

"Hey Baa-chan I can do a simple risotto so fork over the spoon. It's going to burn if it's neglected too long," snapped the perfectionist. She didn't seem to understand that this was his opportunity to shine and rise among his rank. He might not be the head chef, who unfortunately succumbed to the flu, or the second-in-command Sous-chef, who wasn't sick but was attending his sick wife and children. But he could at least be a Chef-de-partie if they gave him half a damn chance.

"You are always so passionate about your work which is a good thing but then you completely forget about yourself, Gaki. You look so flushed already and really the restaurant won't suffer if it is closed for a few days," the buxom blonde began to placate her headstrong chef. She admired the young man's determination but she saw all her staff as her big dysfunctional family and would rather have their health come before any profit or gain.

"I have a strong constitution Baa-chan," the young man huffed before taking the pan off the stove. It was going to burn at that rate and he wasn't going to serve burnt, overcooked anything to his customers. He quickly tasted it, deemed it ready and began the process of plating the mushroom risotto before continuing his explanation.

"I haven't been sick since fourth grade when Yuki Matsuyama gave me chicken pox. I'm pretty sure I'd know when I'm sick and besides… I doubt there is really going to be a blizzard. You know how those weather people can be. They aren't always right about these things. Just the other day that weathergirl, Rinka Waka—" He was finally cut off after prattling on while he walked to set the steaming dish on the counter, added the last garnishes, and watched as it was taken by one of the wait staff.

"It's not what you will allow Naruto," Tsunade began in an all-business tone. It was one of her more lucid days; her sharp amber eyes, shone with a fierceness that wasn't hidden behind the haze of too much alcohol. "I am the owner of the restaurant. But I'm not making this request simply as your boss but as a concerned friend. Go home kiddo or I'll dropkick your ass into next week," she began warmly before slapping his shoulder to emphasis her formidable strength.

"You really have the oddest ways of showing your concerned," grumbled Naruto. But seeing that his boss wasn't going to budge on this issue he sighed in defeat and began the process of cleaning his workstation while assigning his cooking tasks to his other co-workers.

AN HOUR LATER, AT HIS APARTMENT COMPLEX

Naruto was still feeling a bit frustrated when he parked his car in front of his apartment complex. He winced slightly when he slammed the car door too hard in his growing agitation before patting the hood apologetically for taking his frustration out on her. "It's not your fault girl," he murmured before he walked on, adjusting his packages as he went.

"Yusuke, you look very bundled up." Naruto commented cheerfully as he greeted the doorman who quickly swung the door open for him.

"Haven't you heard? There is going to be a big snowstorm tonight sir," informed the muffled voice of the doormen through his red-checkered scarf.

"What did I tell you about calling me sir? My father is a sir? My lecherous grandfather is possibly a sir, but that ain't me. Call me Naruto or I'll stop bringing you goodies from the restaurant," the blonde scolded lightly. His smile had barely slackened in his lecture as he handed the doorman a brown bag. "It's guineas hens with herbed potatoes and grazed carrots and for dessert I prepared apple and walnut salad. I hope you and your wife enjoy but anyway since you and Baa-chan are so concerned about the weather I better get my jogging out of the way quickly before all that blizzard stuff happens. Won't be able to take my morning jog in snow, you know," he explained appealingly.

"There is always the fitness center inside si… er… Naruto," the old doorman began to insist. He and his wife thought of the young man as the son they never had and not only enjoyed the blonde's occasional culinary treats but his company as well. So through Naruto's encouragement to be less formal with the tenant, he felt it important to suggest a safer alternative. Although, if his wife Tsubaki was here she'd insist Naruto march himself to bed before he welcomed a cold with open arms.

"It's really not the same as a scenic route and fresh air. I'll make sure to make it a quick jog but in case I don't get back in time please let the Uchihas in. I don't need to worry about locking my door because they already have a spare key; even though I never gave them one, the smug bastards," he grumbled the last bit to himself before smiling apologetically and rubbing his head sheepishly at the doorman.

"But you invite them practically every night," Yusuke replied in bemusement. He had thought that the three men were best friends the way the Uchihas had come over so much it seemed they practically lived there already.

"Yeah, somehow they managed to worm their way in and I don't know… a part of me feels if I really kick them out they won't come back. I guess… I guess that would kind of suck," he admitted reluctantly. "But that's not happening anytime soon so anyway, I'll probably see you on my way out again and tell the missus I said hi," chirped up Naruto before walking through the door.

Naruto was determined to go out. He had see-sawed on the decision for a while now on the drive over to his home but finally came to a decision after peeking through his balcony door to see the beginning of snow lazily fluttering down against the city landscape.

There was enough of the white stuff to actually stick but if the weatherman was right they would be getting more than a foot of snow by the end of the night. But the blonde wanted to get his jog out of the way now because his morning jog time would be wasted in unearthing his car before going to work, unless his insane boss decided to close the restaurant which was probably likely. Regardless with a final tug of his shoelace strings, and an adjustment to the temperature of his oven, he made his way out of the door.

His keys jingled as he stuffed them inside the pocket of his black Adidas hoodie; his other hand quickly flicked to a better song on his iPod as he altered his course so he could jog down the stairs. Even if he personally chose all the songs on his workout playlist, it didn't necessarily mean that all of them were winners or enough to pump him up in the right way each time.

Naruto's teeth ground together as soon as he left the slight chill of the stairwell to burst into the frigid cold of the outside world. He nodded to the dumbstruck doorman, Yusuke, , flashing him a dazzling smile before he continued to move. The trick was that if he kept in constant movement and focused on the blast of Outkast or some other person singing in his ear, then he wouldn't need to think about how the cold was already trying to penetrate his thin sweat suit and harden his nipples.

'Fuck but it was cold,' he thought as he viciously tugged his hoodie strings to cover more of his face. His nipples felt as hard as diamonds and he had to fight the strongest urge to make a complete u-turn and seek sanctuary in his toasty apartment. He could be relaxing in a hot bath right now waiting for his dinner guests to arrive but he stubbornly refused to allow himself to miss the chance to feel alive when running. For a short time he had been on the track team before he realized his true love was cooking. But that didn't mean he didn't like to indulge in a morning/nightly jog. It was all about mind over matter and Naruto realized as he continued to move and get into the groove of Kanye West's Stronger; he could barely feel the cold now.

'Work it harder, make it better, do it faster, makes us stronger, more than ever, never over, Our work is never over.

[Chorus:] Now that don't kill me Can only make me stronger I need you to hurry up now 'cause I can't wait much longer I know I got to be right now 'cause I can't get much wronger Man I've been waitin' all night now That's how long I've been on you'

A steady puff of smoke unfurled from chapped lips as the blonde male soon found himself at the park, more than a few blocks away from his apartment complex. The blonde jogger suddenly paused, head cocked to the side as if to hear something over the blare of his headphones. He didn't quite understand how anyone could penetrate the loud music but again, he could clearly hear someone's plea.

'Someone… please… help.'

He scanned the snowy landscape trying to pinpoint who was calling to him. A shiver ran down his spine, not from the penetrating cold but the eeriness of the situation. Naruto walked a few steps, eyes still searching for something he didn't quite know yet. But once again came to a halt as he stared mystified at the body of a naked male, curled up against a fresh blanket of snow. He would have wondered if he had somehow stumbled onto a crime scene except for the fact that the cold had made the stranger's milky pale skin, an angry, flushed pink. It tinged blue at certain points of the body like fingertips and lips.

He muted his music player and looked cautiously around him from any assistance; but only he was stupid enough to go jogging in the park with the snow coming down in fluffy clumps. He could have easily walked away. This wasn't his problem and the naked person could be fairly dangerous but he couldn't. He wasn't that kind of guy. It was clear to the blonde that this strange man didn't belong here. He had never seen someone so pale and yet so flushed with color. Maybe it was the strange man's small dainty wrists and ankles or the way the sensual curve of his bare back showed each and every last bump of his spine before rounding off into an ample, peach soft rear end in the pale moonlight. But before Naruto could analyze the reasons further, the ethereal creature flickered like a badly tuned television screen before diminishing into the form of a white housecat.

He fell on his rear-end trying to scramble backwards at the strange sight. It was one thing to see a naked guy laying face down in the freezing cold and yet another thing to have that same person turn themselves into a four legged creature. 'Maybe I am already coming down with something…' he thought weakly to himself. He quickly scrambled up to his feet, determined to leave the cat person alone when he heard that call again.

'Someone… please… help.'

"Is it you that's been calling me?" he questioned, back to the cat before slowly turning around. He didn't want to believe it but something inside him told him it was true. He was just an average chef. Sure he was a good Samaritain and picked up the occasional litter and placed it in the trash but he also didn't run into any buildings. So why…

"What are you doing out here this late at night? Didn't you hear the weather advisory?" cane the harsh voice of a bespectacled police officer.

Naruto carefully scooped up the feline, unsure. He barely acknowledged the strange markings it had on its white face before quickly speaking up. "I… uh… he's my cat. I was going for my nightly jog when he escaped out the door. I couldn't let the poor guy freeze outside, now could I officer?" he asked with a nervous chuckle.

"Well, run along then. There's been odd things happening tonight and I wouldn't feel right if I let you remain out here in this cold

"Yeah, I'll do that," Naruto said, carefully unzipping his hoodie to draw the strange cat inside. With a quick wave he started off in the opposite direction back to his home, he'd have to figure this mystery out when he was warm and away from prying eyes.

"Kabuto, did you find it? Did you find the alien from the space crash?"came the crackling of a walkie talkie once the jogger left.

"No Orochimaru, just some dumb guy jogging with his cat," muttered the fake police officer. He then clicked off his walkie talkie after hearing something else from his superior before he began to scan the area with his flashlight. "That alien couldn't have gone far."