Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Angry ❯ Angry ( Chapter 1 )

Its like flipping a coin, heads you win tails you lose some times the other way around or like that stupid phrase from the movies “life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your gonna get'. Finding a way to coup with the death daily of a friend or loved one opens you up to so many different temptations its deciding which one wont kill you before you get back to firm ground! All those clique's rolled into one and hammered into your head until you cant breath or think for the lack of space. Stumbling though some of THE worst experiences imaginable and holding your head high is that what makes you a hero is that what buys you recognition is that what keeps you warm at night or is the empty bottle of liquor that sits by the bed for the past several nights that is really helping you sleep and electric blanket keeping you warm?

What really is the point of making your self the most sought after person for your deeds when deep down your really see yourself as the bad guy better at thinking up ways to hurt some one to garner information out of them. Makes you think that maybe being the bad guy is easier then trying to be a hero even though all your life you've trained to save people and help them. Are you a hero in private because you don't do those things or is it that you are to Lazy to act on the inclination? Do you even know what is stopping you, its not like you haven't been hurt by people before but it just never seemed to be enough to make you really act on the darker thoughts that creep around in your brain they eventually either get suppressed or forgotten. You've threatened to kill but didn't so why? Really why?? It becomes a physical ache in the chest your body tenses ever time he comes around even when he's nice your still looking for a fight because he never see's YOU!! Not the real you but an imitation that you know deep down he could never accept the real you with your darker thoughts and feelings. You tried to tell him once but he shrugged you off making light of it and so you never brought it up again but that part of you that was dark and angry about being written off so lightly festered and grew and now ever time you see him you want to fight and claw and hurt him as much as possible because you have this physical ache in your chest that is driving you crazy and he put it there!!!

You're not old but you're not a child any more and acting on the impulses of one makes it harder for others to treat you as an equal so you squash your tantrums and fits into that compartment next to the ache in your chest along with all other reactions save a false grin and wait. Maybe not today maybe not tomorrow maybe not ever really but you know someday in reality some day soon you will snap and be pushed over that irretrievable edge that you have danced on for years and some one will get hurt and it might in all likelihood be you!