Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Between A Rock And A Hard Place ❯ The Heart Is To Blame ( Chapter 5 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Only the incisive ticking of the small clock hanging on the wall could be heard through out the house. Kaito had long ago fallen asleep and his sister followed suit after suggesting Gaara and Naruto stay the night. After all it would not be safe to wonder the town so late at night, especially with Naruto in his condition. Gaara had reluctantly accepted the offer and was now sitting on the floor beside the couch for what was running into the second hour since he had been hear.

There was one thing that possessed him to stay at Naruto's side, but he couldn't fully define it. Of course their was a desire to make sure the blond boy was alright, but that wasn't nearly a good enough answer for Gaara. He needed to know exactly why he had suddenly felt so obligated to protect this fool. It had always been his own motto to care for no one but yourself. So why was he going back on everything he believed in right now. Naruto hadn't changed anything, it just couldn't be.

"I wish I knew why..." Gaara groaned, cupping his head in his hands. He securely brought his knees up to his chest as he buried the rest of his form against his legs. Why did he have so much emotions he did not understand? He wanted to know dearly what all this was, but what sense could he make out of it? He was only a wrenched demon, a freak. No one could care for him and that was a proven fact. "Yashamaru..." He mistakably moaned to himself.

"Who's he?" Gaara felt his heart stop at the sound of the familiar, goofy voice. It was out of happiness that he jerked out of his position to look back at Naruto with such relief, but out of regret that he suddenly turned back in embarrassment. He couldn't believe he had said that. That person and part of his life was gone now, so he should hold on to any memories of it. Yet he couldn't simply ignore Naruto's question. The blond was turned on his side and staring directly at the back of his head and expecting an answer.

"Someone I use to know." Gaara mentioned quickly. He was tempted to just walk out now that Naruto was awake and appearing to be fine, but he stayed in place as he heard the blond shuffle up into a sitting position. "Lay back down, you aren't well enough to be moving yet." Gaara insisted coldly. He turned back to Naruto with a stern look, but it didn't faze Naruto in the least bit. In fact Naruto grinned his normal toothy grin as soon as he saw it. Why was it so hard to be intimidating now? It use to work all the time.

"I'm fine Gaara." Naruto answered. Though he was definitely lying. His body ached a little still, but he refused to lead on this weakness to anyone, even Gaara. He had already fallen prey to his own stupidity and insisted that they didn't go to the hospital. So he had to at least try to regain his dignity. He was wrong, and he would admit to that, but never again. He was tired of screwing up and being the one to take the punishment for it.

Gaara glowered at him the moment Naruto tried to stand up. Jumping to his feet, Gaara quickly shoved Naruto back down by holding onto his shoulders. "Rest for now Naruto. It's already night. There would be no point in heading back now." Gaara suggested, trying to sound sincere as he could possibly manage, but that was nearly impossible. He was still so furious with himself for letting this happen in the first place. Naruto got hurt because he wasn't able to protect him.

"Gaara! I perfectly able to walk back without getting into any trouble." Naruto tried to convince the red head. But he was not the best of persuaders. "Please! If I don't get back, they are going to worry about me." There Naruto went again, worrying more about other's than himself. It pissed Gaara off. He almost died because of this, so why was he still doing it! It was obvious this method of obtaining strength had a lot of flaws and consequences. Yet Naruto was never going to back down.

With a tired sigh, Gaara removed his hands from Naruto and turned his back to him. "You can go, but I'm carrying you there." Gaara explained, of course not giving the blond any other choice but his own way. "I would suggest you not do any traveling at all, but I can see even you won't cooperate with what is best for you." Naruto stared nervously at Gaara's back but finally forced himself to climb onto Gaara. unfortunately this now meant Gaara would have to carry his gourd by hand, which didn't seem to pester him as much as Naruto thought. "I swear you are nothing but trouble for your teammates when it comes to things like this." Gaara grumbled softly as he started for the door. He had given the girl Kaito's hitai-ate while Naruto was resting, so he didn't need any other reason to signal their departure.

"You sound just like Sasuke." Naruto whined lowly as he pressed his head into Gaara's shoulder. Such a warm contact made a tinge of excitement flow through Gaara. Simply having Naruto's thin arms and legs wrapped so firmly around him, were unfamiliar but very much welcomed touching. "Even you think I nothing more than extra weight" came a grumpy reply. Gaara ignored his urge to snicker at the young male's small fit of anger. He was so childish yet had the pure and most insightful heart of an elder. "I'm just sick of it..."

"Well if you actually thought things through for once I bet you could avoid being in that much trouble." Gaara offered his advice. But what did he know about this sort of thing? He was always a problem to someone else. It was just yet another thing him and Naruto had in common. Unfortunately Gaara would always be able to tell the main difference between them. Naruto would always be he angelic purity of all that was right with the world while he was nothing more than the self-hating darkness that everyone despised. Everyone he knew hated him: his village, his family, Yashamaru...

"Does it bother you anymore?" Naruto suddenly asked, drawing Gaara out of his self-pity and depression. He hadn't been paying much attention to Naruto's words after that, but something did manage to strike his ear. "Does it bother you anymore...when people call you a demon?" Naruto asked. He always wondered how Gaara was adjusting after their fight. He knew Gaara couldn't simply go back to his old life style after that. And he was right, because Gaara had at least made something of himself. He was the Kazekage. "Before...it use to make you sad to know they thought of you that way. They haven't changed much, have they?"

Gaara was forced to shake his head side to side. "It wasn't like I expected them to change their view of me. It wasn't like I did anything different to make them see me in a different light. But I'm sure there is no other light in me to see. I can't simply find friends like you Naruto. Everyone already knows who I am. They know what I am capable of and they continue to fear me. To them...I am the reason for all their suffering. That will not change."

"Can't you just leave here then? I'm sure you can make friends somewhere else." Naruto offered. But of course Gaara had rejected the idea of traveling again. After all, being the Kazekage prevented him from making such dramatic decisions. He could not merely leave of his own free will for his own pleasures, not when his people were suffering like this. "Well...you'll always have me." Naruto smiled merrily at his own claim. "I'll be your friend. And you can count on me to never betray you. My view of you will always stay the same. I know you, because me and you are alike. You're really a good person Gaara, you just need to open up more."

Such simple words had brought such happiness flooding to Gaara's ears. His pulse had quickened and he was now more than ever eager to smile freely at Naruto, but that reaction was abnormal for him. He did not want to be seen as weak in Naruto's eyes, one who was easily exposed to emotions and unable to control them. But he was just so thrilled to hear that Naruto actually wanted to be his friend. It was like being a child again when he discovered the wonders of medicine. Though he could not use them himself, he was eager to help those he had hurt. "Thanks Naruto." Gaara chirped out.

"Now, tell me about this Yashamaru guy." Naruto laughed anxiously. "He sounds very special to you. Could it be Gaara actually has himself a crush." Naruto teased with a fox like grin. Of course he never thought Gaara would have a crush on a boy, but stranger things had happened. Actually it was not so hard to believe. Naruto could have sworn he wasn't hallucinating when he thought he felt Gaara kiss him. He tried to excuse it as result of the poison but somehow he wasn't entirely convinced.

The despair returned almost as quickly as it had left. "I have a better idea. Why don't you tell me who you have a crush on?" Gaara quickly tried to change the subject. He was not about to explain this all to Naruto. he had lived trough enough embarrassment for one day and he would like to keep it to a minimal. Simply telling Naruto about the only person he had ever thought o truly love him, had turned on him and had actually hated him to the very cure; would make Naruto develop great pity for him. And pity was something Gaara did not want from Naruto.

Naruto blushed at the countered question. "I don't have a crush! And why are you avoiding my question?!" Naruto pouted babyishly. He kicked his legs a little to show his disappointment, but this only came off as amusing to Gaara. "Why would you tell me about this guy? The way you said his name back there, I would have thought he was your lover or something. Was he a family member or something? Is he alive?" Naruto didn't realize just how annoying all his questions had been for Gaara until it was too late.

"I killed that backstabbing bastard, alright?!" Gaara blurted out in temporary anger. He almost immediately regretted saying it all, but he could take any of it back now. He felt humiliated and frustrated with himself because Naruto had suddenly gone quite. He desperately wished he knew what was going on in the other's head. Did he think he was still a maniac for killing someone out of revenge or was he feeling sorry for him?

The ever going silence was slowly eating away at Gaara's sanity, though people have to argue he had none from the beginning. he just hated to think that he had destroyed every chance of having Naruto as his friend just because of that one claim that slipped out of his mouth. He had thought he was over it now. He knew he was not as strong as Naruto simply because he had based his fuel on hate rather than love like Naruto had. So why was he still morning over the thought of his belated uncle? Was it all of a sudden he thought he could prove him wrong? To prove that he wasn't hated by everyone and had more purpose than to live like that, was the only reason he concerned himself with the past.

"Did you hate him for betraying you?" Naruto asked without any warning of having the effort to speak about this anymore. It frightened Gaara all at once when he finally spoke. He had even halted in a step, but pushed forward seconds later. He figured he could no longer ignore Naruto's questions or redirect them since the blond was filled with so much childish curiosity.

"I did." Gaara replied solemnly. "But I can't say I feel that way anymore." And he had Naruto to thank for that. The purely spirited shinobi made him realize that day of their battle that powering yourself off of hate was pointless and would only prolong the sadness and pain you felt in the end. To live to hate was the equivalent of dying. It brought no one relief and only caused more pain and suffering, just like when a life was lost.

Thankfully, Naruto didn't feel the need to talk of it anymore and gave Gaara finally the peace he had been hoping for. It was late now and there was bound to be troubles if he took Naruto back to his room. No doubt that Uchiha would argue with Naruto for being late and frankly Gaara was not too thrilled to deliver Naruto to that type of drama. So he concluded it would be for the best just to take Naruto back to the Kazekage tower where he stayed.

"I can't believe we let him escape again!" Temari screamed at the top of her lungs. Kankuro quickly covered his ears, but it wasn't enough to blockage his sister's anger. Personally Kankuro was pretty pissed that Gaara had went missing shortly after just coming back. This only succeeded in making Temari go insane with worry. Who knew sisters could get this emotional about a brother they hadn't even been around for several years?

"Temari go to bed, it's already one in the morning and you aren't doing us or Gaara any go by worrying like this. I'm sure he'll be home soon." Kankuro persisted. Without much more convincing, Temari finally gave in and started to head up stairs to her bedroom. But as soon as she reached the fourth step, the main door pushed slowly open. Both sets of eyes glowed to the form standing in the door way with a slight hunch. With fear that Gaara had injured himself, Temari jumped from the steps again and fled to her younger brother. But what she had saw had kept her from approaching any further.

Kankuro was in equal shock to see Gaara holding a familiar blond figure on his back. Not only was it unbelievable because the sand wasn’t suppose to permit this type of contact, but it was the mere fact that Gaara didn't care enough about anyone to do such a favor as to carrying them when they were weak or hurt. So to see both in one was a complete scare for his siblings. "G-gaara..." Kankuro stuttered out weakling as his brother stepped into the building and quickly tapped the door with his foot so that it could close.

Anger finally had the time to dawn on Temari. "You go missing for hours and you come back with some unconscious kid?!" Temari snarled. "You have a lot of nerve Gaara! We were worried sick! Do you know what could have happened to you out there at this time of night?!" Temari yelled out. She quitted her tone as soon as Gaara have her a look that was both life threatening and merciless.

"He's finally asleep and your yelling is not going to help." Gaara hissed deeply. It had taken nearly all of his persuasion to get Naruto to finally go to sleep, so he would rather not have the blond up for another hour complaining about how he couldn't get back to sleep. "I am fine, he on the other hand, not so much." Gaara explained. Temari and Kankuro were immediately taken aback by their young brother's reply. They were too silenced by fear and curiosity to stop Gaara from going upstairs without further reasoning.

"Uh...Kankuro...what just happened?" Temari asked in disbelief, facing her equally startled brother.

An all-knowing smirk slowly slipped onto Kankuro's face. "It seems our little Gaara-chan is developing very grown up emotions." He teased. Temari simply glowered at Kankuro. Gaara was no pervert, that was for sure. And simply caring in an unconscious boy with intentions they did not know, didn't automatically mean Gaara liked him or planned to have his way with him. Kankuro was normally such the pervert he was now claiming Gaara to be. So Temari merely brushed it off and headed back to bed. At least now she wouldn't have to worry in her sleep where Gaara had gone.

Kankuro followed his sister up the stairs but he made sure to take a quick detour before going back to his own room. Gaara had left his door cracked open, probably because he couldn't close it all the way with his foot. So Kankuro stood there for a moment, observing his peculiar younger brother. He couldn't help but notice the immense gentleness Gaara showed as he laid the blond on his bed, that he himself rarely used. The look in Gaara's eyes was something Kankuro wouldn't be able to forget. There was an actual softness to him now that Kankuro could have been sure was not there before. With this knowledge dawning on him, Kankuro almost felt guilty for watching Gaara in such a vulnerable state so he hurriedly retreated from the scene.

"Good night Naruto..." Gaara lightly whispered, leaning forward as he gracefully brushed his fingers across the other's forehead. He wondered if this was how it truly felt to care for someone; to put other's before yourself?
Just as he pulled back his hand, he found a small fist gripping at his shirt. "I thought you were a sleep." Gaara pointed out. Whether he was merely saying this or trying to explain his actions just now, he didn't know. He did feel rather embarrassed for being caught like that, but maybe Naruto wouldn't notice.

He saw a mischievous grin spread across elegant lips, making Gaara grunt a little in frustration. "I was asleep." Naruto snickered softly. His gorgeous aqua colored eyes suddenly appeared from beneath those graceful lashes and he stared up almost longingly at Gaara. "But it's pretty hard to rest with all the screaming I heard." Gaara made a mental list to punish Temari later for that.

"I'm sorry about that. But I need you to rest now." Gaara requested once more. Despite Naruto's agreement with the idea, he had not let go of Gaara's shirt. "What is it?" Gaara had to ask simply because he had never had anyone cling to him for an answer of any sort. A flicker of remorse became visible in Naruto's eyes and Gaara immediately chastised himself for saying whatever had offended or sadden the male before him.

"You aren't going to sleep on the floor are you?" Naruto asked. He didn't want to take Gaara's bed if it meant he had no where else to sleep. Of course Gaara felt the urge to groan after that question. He wasn't ready to tell Naruto that he was unable to sleep. Just think of the pain he would have caused the blond with that thought. Naruto noticed Gaara's unwillingness to answer. "You can stay in the bed, I swear I don't snore or anything." Naruto insisted, his eyes softened with a misty sorrow and regret.

Unable to bring sadness to this kind soul again, Gaara warily nodded and watched with much irritation as the blond quickly scooted over to the side of the bed. Gaara slowly slid in beside the other boy. He was lucky he hadn't turned on the lights so now he wouldn't have to get up. Yet it probably would have been for the better if he made an excuse to get out of bed. He didn't feel worthy enough to stay beside this sleeping angel. Plus, it was usually the nights where he got most of his work done. With nothing awake to disturb him, he could always get more done. But it seemed he would not be getting any work done tonight.

Gaara stared blankly up at the ceiling in the gloomy darkness as the only sound he heard was the peaceful breathing from beside him. He was more than tempted to glance over there once to watch the blond rest, but it was a prize had not yet earned. And there was the obvious reason that it would probably bug Naruto to know he was being watched in his sleep. Gaara was going such a good job so far, that was until...

The weight on the bed shifted a little and Gaara's side sunk in a little deeper. An immense heat consumed his entire right side and the tingling sensation of soft skin pressed against his own, made goose bumps rise up all over him. There was no other reason that could possibly keep Gaara from looking now. His head slowly turned to the side and his murky jade eyes clouded with the most uncomfortable yet inviting filling he had ever felt. Such uneasiness had planted itself into his stomach and he was sure parts of him he didn't even know existed were twitching with what he suspected was anxiousness.

Naruto was turned on his side, his lean form laying flat against Gaara's whole side. His hip was cupped perfectly into the curve of Naruto's pelvis and crotch, making Gaara only more apprehensive about the situation. Not to mention his right arm was caught in a tight vice grip between both of Naruto's arms. The scar crossed cheek of Naruto's delicately tan face was pressed sweetly against Gaara's forearm. Though it was just his arm, he could feel the welcoming warm and softness of Naruto's flesh.

Gaara gulped firmly and quickly turned his head to the other side. There was not way he could get out of this now, even to pretend to sleep would not take away the burning in his face and chest. "What is this?" Gaara asked himself nervously. This feeling...he so dearly wanted to know it and perhaps claim it entirely for himself. Would it be so kind to let him have it?

To Be Continued...

A/N: Aww, Gaara is so sweet to me. If is even possible, I think he is more innocent than Naruto, well when it comes to love of course. Anyway, I really loved writing this chapter. Naruto is really the cutest person to sleep next to, I couldn't resist writing it. I'm pretty pleased with how this fic is going so far. I have to tell you, its probably going to be a very long fic since I haven't even given Sasuke the recognition he needs to know he likes Naruto as well. So let reviews please, and I will update asap! And thanks so much for the reviews so far! They're really cute!