Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Can I keep You ? ❯ Chapter 16

Can I keep you?

Sequel to Pumpkins and Ravens

Main Pairings: Kakashi/Iruka, Sasuke/Naruto and others

Part of my 100 themes challenge.

 

Part 16 - Broken Pieces (76):

 

Kakashi knew when his old friend and rival had started trailing him. They had worked together for many years and his chakra signature wasn't being cloaked. He had managed to get out of Iruka's window with relative ease, if a few deep twinges had made him pause on his hurried exit. There had been nothing to take with him, the uniform he had worn on arriving had long since been destroyed due to the blood that had coated it. He walked slowly but surely down walkways and through alleyways, weaving across the city.

 

It wasn't until he was halfway home that the pain of what he had done hit home, making him stumble his steps as something twisted inside his chest. He had only known that he needed to get away from Iruka before he hurt him again - but what he had done to garner the information had been far more hurtful than what he had discovered. As soon as he had stumbled his ever-present shadow appeared beside him, he didn't query whether he was alright or not just remained at his side as he walked increasingly slowly towards his final destination.

 

He wanted to get home; he needed to be there before anything happened. He felt like he was unravelling on the inside as millions of images of the past two hours ricocheted inside his head. He hadn't realised that he had spoken but couldn't care for the words that tumbled from his mask-covered lips, “What have I done?” He shook his head, one hand coming to scratch at his nape in a well-worn gesture of confusion, as the other snaked around his chest. He felt like he was trying to hold himself together.

 

When those words slipped out he felt all his energy leave his body, his legs struggling to hold him up. He felt his companion loop an arm across his back and under his arm, he would never inflict the indignity of being carried in public, and if he could form coherent thoughts he would have thanked him for that. The rest of the journey was a blur, when his mind surfaced from the looping stream of memories he found himself inside the Hatake house, he was resting against one of the roof supports that faced the inside courtyard.

 

He turned to face his friend who had settled beside him, for once completely silent instead of spouting endless challenges. They sat there in silence for what felt like hours as Kakashi tried to straighten out everything in his head. What he had done to Iruka had been what had caused him to flee the kind teachers home, but what he had done when he had been in a fever state was just as much of a problem. When he had first joined the ANBU squad he had such vicious nightmares that often his old sensei had come to stay with him. He had once woken to the same scenario as he had inflicted on the chuunin. His hands wrapped around Minato's throat, choking off his air - and though he had stopped the image had haunted him for a very long time.

 

His mind had been damaged by his stint in the most elite shinobi's service - he was a small child and it had fractured something in his mind that Minato had tried to fix but the damage was irreparable. Kakashi knew he was a very dangerous man, his subconscious self was trained to react to a threat on instinct - not to hurt but to kill. He had hoped that instinct would not resurface again, but it had and he had hurt someone that again was very important to him. He could see it now, his pale fingers locked around Iruka's throat as he gasped and clawed at his arms to make him let go. He remembered that heart felt plea that had struck a cord of familiarity inside him, making him let go just as darkness had taken him.

 

The jounin sat on the wooden walkway with his oldest friend, trying to reason out why he had re-enacted that moment just to get the truth from the younger nin. It didn't make sense to him, he turned his sole grey orb up at the cloudy sky before speaking quietly to the man sat beside him, “I hurt him Gai - just because he wouldn't tell me the truth. He was hiding it from me.”

 

He didn't dare to look at his fellow shinobi, sitting quietly and waiting whilst the famed green beast mulled over his words. When his spoke it wasn't the typical overzealous flowery language he did around others, this was serious and he treated it as such, “I think that you may have resorted to your ANBU training without meaning too. Bear in minds old friend that you have spent seven weeks in a coma and when you awoke you went through that trauma all over again. You were trained to be ANBU from such a young age that your resorted to your instincts when something was happening that you couldn't understand or fight against. You didn't mean to hurt Umino-san did you?”

 

Kakashi's words were vehement when he spoke, “NO of course not …he's…we're…he's important to me.” He was sudden passion ebbed s the words finally touched the light of day, he cared a great deal for the young sensei and he had done something very traumatising to him. He had ruined any hope of even being friends with the young man, all the time they ad spent together over this last week had shown the jounin just how lonely he had been and how empty his days were. But he had gone and wrecked it again.

 

“It's over now - he will never forgive me.” His head tipped back to rest against the thick wooden beam, his heart felt heavy inside him as his chest muscles pulled tight on his injuries with every breath. He clenched his eyes shut in reaction to the anguish and pain he felt. He had been gone from that apartment for a matter of hours and he missed being there desperately. This place was so empty, a reflection of the person he had been. Iruka had changed him somehow - in a single week he had given him so many revelations.

 

He heard Gai huff at his words, and turned a bruised looking orb to his oldest friend. When the other jounin noticed his gaze he gave the Copy-nin a scowl before speaking, “That is not the man I know - Hatake Kakashi never gives up, that is why you are my greatest and most illustrious rival. Who is to say Umino-san will not forgive you? Words said in the heat of the moment are not always true; you may have given him cause to be angry with you. I have no doubt of that, you are a very frustrating man but it was he who sent a message via some inky rat shaped summons to make sure you got home safely. That is not the action of a man who doesn't care.”

 

Kakashi's eye watched the other shinobi as he spoke, seeing no signs of a falsehood on the other nin. Iruka had truly sent Gai after him, even when he had just inflicted such a horrible torment on the man? It confounded him as to why he would still try to help him. Was it just guilt, or did he truly still stand a chance with the other man? He needed to think.

 

“Gai-san?” His voice was quiet and his friends name came out as more of a question.

 

The odd “Hmm…” that came from the jounin's throat was an encouragement to speak further.

 

“I need some time to think this over. Would you perhaps keep an eye on Iruka? I truly did hurt the other man and Naruto is out of town.” He turned his gaze away, feeling heat warm his cheeks at the request. He hated feeling like this, conflicted and weak but he needed to make sure Iruka was alright.

 

He couldn't look at the other man but was happy with the response to his request, “Hai Kakashi I will do this for you. Now then I shall make sure Haruno-san comes to visit you here soon as the journey you under took was rather reckless so early on in your recovery, ne?” When the other nin got up to leave it struck Kakashi that very few people were meant to know about what had happened, for the sake of keeping Naruto's secret.

 

He lifted his face to level a searching look at his friend, “How did you know about all of that Gai?” He was treated to a very broad smile complete with sparkling teeth.

 

“You should know by now my eternal rival that the Rookie nine are all very good friends.” He gave thumbs up and a ridiculous wink at the injured mans puzzled glare. “Now remember my effervescent friend and most favoured rival that we have drawn even in our competition. I expect a most enthusiastic and youthful new bout when you are back to full strength.” And with that said he was gone, leaving Kakashi to stare at the empty space that the to energetic man had left behind.

 

“Idiot.” Though it brought a small smile to his cloth-covered lips at the thought.

 

 

******

 

The jounin spent the next week getting used to be at home once again, struggling through making simple meals and being back on his feet. Sakura had visited and given him a through telling off for being so reckless, though she had imparted some news of Naruto and Sasuke's return. HE wasn't sure if he could face the two younger shinobi, he knew they were both very protective of Iruka and were most likely very angry with him for what he had done.

 

He had started doing some basic exercise once again, rebuilding his chakra reserves and getting his torn muscles used to the rigors of shinobi life. Though Sakura had been very adamant that he was not allowed to over do it, giving him a set period of time and helpful exercises that wouldn't over strain his healing body.

 

It had to be said he had been waiting for a visit from Naruto and Sasuke, figuring the blond at least would want to give him a piece of his mind over the way he had treated Iruka. The blond may have been an orphan at birth but he had built his own family, Sasuke and Iruka included and he knew injuring one of them was a cardinal sin in the foxes mind.

 

He had mulled over his situation with Iruka, but still had not come up with a suitable answer, his behaviour had been deplorable at best and yet he knew in some respects what Gai had said to him that day was correct. Though that wasn't an excuse in his mind. He had been plagued by an overarching sense of guilt since that day, wishing he could take back his actions and still be happily ensconced inside Iruka's apartment. He had enjoyed spending the days with the chuunin; those wonderful moments when he had woken up to find the others face so close to his own. The silky soft feel of his hair between his fingers or the way he had allowed him to rest his head on his coiled up legs as he worked.

 

The Copy-nin found Iruka's presence infinitely soothing and the loneliness he had never noticed before seemed to be growing. He missed the young academy sensei deeply but he couldn't figure out how to apologise to him. What could he do to fix the mess he had caused? He was certain that Iruka had felt the same way he did but wasn't certain of that fact which threw another spanner in his thoughts - could he just go over and apolgise and then find out he had been wrong about his feelings?

 

In truth the older shinobi was fearful of the response he would receive, these feelings that bubbled inside him had been repressed for so long he wasn't certain what to do with them. The rumours accusing him of being a pervert were true but though he enjoyed the wonderful stories Jiraiya had penned it didn't reflect on his real life. He was a shinobi first and foremost and he had been all his life. It wasn't that he was inexperienced with either sex, but mission sex and feelings were very different things. It was pleasurable but there was no feeling no true passion behind it. But with Iruka? He couldn't bare being away from him, he felt bereft and alone in the old house with no one for company but his own shadow.

 

God he missed that man.

 

He reached up stroking his fingers across the hit-ate covering his sharingan; it had taken him a few days to realise that it wasn't his. He had ascertained that it wasn't new and therefore must belong to the chuunin. He had consequentially taken the headband of to run through his hands, putting the fabric to his nose to draw in the scent that had enveloped him in many nights of restful sleep. It had grown habitual to touch the cool metal over the leaf symbol whenever he thought of the young sensei. Which was often.

 

He was happy to have something of the other mans ear him, though it didn't remove the ache that throbbed in his chest it provided a momentary respite. He knew that either the chuunin would come to him or he would go to the chuunin to return the hit-ate. But he didn't have it in him to potentially sever the only connection he had to the other nin.

 

He knew that Iruka would be returning to the academy soon, the new year starting and that he would need the headband back before then if he didn't just choose to go and get a new one from stores so as to avoid him. That thought had him cringing in response - he didn't want to miss the opportunity to see him. He had stood in the courtyard once more, mulling over the idea of going to see the other man - perhaps tomorrow. He looked up into a cloudless sky, seeing the moon above fat and almost full.

 

It brought back a memory of a night weeks ago when he had been foolish enough to jump in feet first rather than observing as a ninja was taught. The two young men had kept their secret from him and yet he couldn't blame them. His reaction to what had happened had been prejudiced at best. It was panic and a deep-seated fear that had driven him, team seven where the closest thing to a family he had and he didn't want to lose them. And yet what he had done to Iruka may well push the two males away from him and he didn't want that.

 

Kakashi made the decision to go and see the chuunin, in hopes that he could some how fix the royal mess he had made of their relationship. He hoped that Iruka would be able to forgive him so they could at least be friends - but he prayed for more than that. He hadn't noticed the presence on his rooftop as he had been staring off into the starlit sky, though as soon as he turned his attention back to clearing the courtyard he felt the familiar chakra.

 

His attention went straight to the roof, his stance shifting defensively but he needn't have bothered. A dark blur dropped from the lip of the roof, manifesting itself into a pale raven-haired male, “Sasuke.” The young nin nodded his acknowledgement and moved forward to face him.

 

Obsidian orbs scrutinized his face and must have found what they were seeking, when the raven finally spoke, “I'm not here to hurt you Kakashi-sensei though you may deserve it. By the look of you your doing a fin job all on your own.” The jounin didn't respond, taking in the last Uchiha's sudden appearance in his home with his usual nonchalance's.

 

“Did you need something Sasuke?” The calm voice that escaped his lips didn't express the need to know about a certain chuunin but he kept his voice and gaze steady, he knew he looked a complete mess but couldn't really bring himself to care.

 

“Hn, this is for you.” The raven extended his hand, a rolled scroll settled in his palm, which he extended to the jounin. Kakashi looked between the scroll and the Uchiha's eyes searching for any hint of an explanation. His eyebrow arched in query but Sasuke remained blank, the Copy-nin reached out and took the scroll. As soon as it left his palm Sasuke backed up to jump back to the roof. Kakashi reacted without thinking, feeling pains shoot across his chest as he moved swiftly across to the pale man, grabbing an arm firmly, he turned a sole stormy grey orb up to twin obsidian, ”Is Iru… Umino-san alright?”

 

He couldn't bear to not ask this of the raven, he knew that the two had been staying with the chuunin since their return. He looked into those pitch-black orbs intently hoping to fish an answer from those depths; instead Sasuke shook of his restraining hand. He gave him a curt response before disappearing in a cloud of smoke, “Hn, he will be.”

 

He stared at that space for a few minutes, completely forgetting the scroll in his hands, `He will be' what was that supposed to mean? He looked down at the scroll, reaching for the sealed edge and unravelling it slowly. As he read the instructions carefully he felt an odd twisting in his stomach a mixed feeling of anticipation and fear churning inside him. IT would all start or end tomorrow night. He had a lot to do before then. With that he disappeared inside the house once more, the scroll clutched in his tight grip.

 

He didn't notice the two figures sat on the adjacent rooftop of the neighbours home, watching the expressions flitting across the exposed part of the jounin's face. “we did good huh teme?”

 

“Yep now we just have to convince Iruka.” The blond nodded in agreement and slipped his fingers between the ravens pale digits.

 

“I hope this works out.” The raven turned to the blond man, tugging him closer so he could place a tender kiss to the underside of his jaw.

 

“It will you'll see. My plans never fail.” He got a soft snort in reply to that but he smiled at the silly noise that had come from the other man.

 

“Come on Dobe let's go home.” They disappeared in a quiet rustle of feet and cloth, bounding across the rooftops.