Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Candle ❯ Chapter 1

[ P - Pre-Teen ]
Candle

NaruSaku Oneshot

By: AlwaysHiei

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto-- Masashi Kishimoto does!

Naruto, you are my candle.

The candle of my life.

You are what helps me to see my way through my life, you're the only reason I've gotten as far as I have.

Without you, it's dark, and I can't see; I have to walk around randomly, trying to find the right path to take, without being able to see where I am or where I'm going. Without you, I run into walls, get stuck, hurt myself, hurt others- I need you to get me through. You light my way, giving me the ability to see where I should go and where I shouldn't go, what I should do and what I shouldn't do, who I should be, and who I shouldn't be.

But I've lost you now, haven't I? No, I haven't completely lost you-- you're still my candle. But your flame is gone, no longer lighting my way. You've become simply a candle, a plain candle without a flame. A candle that no longer creates light, that no longer is able to guide me.

But that's my fault, I suppose-- no, I know it's my fault.

I was used to you being there, I assumed you'd always be there, no matter what. No matter what I did, you stuck with me. And I guess you still are with me; because you still love me so much you can't leave me alone, you still refuse to let me go, even after everything I've done to you. But after it all, you couldn't help but lose that flame, huh? I bet you tried so hard to keep the fire going, but you couldn't. I bet you feel so bad because you think you failed me, but you didn't. Naruto, I failed you.

Over the past years, we were a team. Always a team, in everything we did. We always worked together, didn't we? Yeah. I wish I could go back now.

I acted like such a brat in the beginning, I think. I always acted like you were simply a failure, who couldn't do anything. And I acted like Sasuke was perfect, and like I knew him. I think sometimes I acted like I knew everything. I didn't. Not even close. I may have had better grades than you, but honestly Naruto, you always knew so much more than I, and you still do.

I got better. I started to see you as a person, as a person who could and would do things, who I knew would continuously throughout his life do amazing things. I realized I didn't know Sasuke, and that he did have his problems. But in a way, I started to see him as a better and better person too, I realized he was so much more than perfect. We grew closer, and became stronger as a team. We became stronger as individuals too, but we were by far at our best as a team.

But then he left us. Sasuke left for power, he left to go with Orochimaru.

I had been devastated when he left, and afterwards too-- we both were, weren't we? I bet it was so much worse for you than me. Sasuke was your friend, your best friend- your brother, basically. Sasuke was my friend too, but we weren't nearly so close. I said I loved him a lot. I almost did. But I didn't know him really, even if I did spend almost everyday with him, and you too. I just never got to know him well, unlike you. It seemed like you knew everything about him, and it seemed you understood him-- it seemed that way from the beginning, though.

Even though your pain, I know, was so much worse, you promised me you'd bring him back. Yo utook the burden of it all into your own hands, without a second thought. Partially because you wanted him back too, I know. But I could tell a lot was because you wanted him back for me. Because you didn't want to see me in pain. Because I was important to you.

But back then, I didn't really pay attention to how much pain you were in when you left to find him, I was just relieved you were going to get him, and I just hoped it'd be fast because it hurt me so bad when someone dear to me like Sasuke, someone I loved, especially when I thought I loved them romantically, left me so easily.

You were gone for a long time. But you were still there somehow. Somehow, even though you were who knows how far away, you were still guiding me. Still lighting my way. When I thought of you smiling, of you promising to bring Sasuke back, I realized I couldn't just sit around until you were back- I had to get stronger, and become a better person, so when you both came back stronger than ever, I wouldn't be too far behind. And also so you could both see that I was more than you probably thought. Then again, thinking on it now, you Naruto, you knew I could be so much more all the time, you always knew. You always believed in me.

So you came back for a while, no Sasuke though. But you were still looking, I know you were. You just needed a rest. You just needed to see everyone. You just needed... to see me. You needed to see me, you needed to see me smile again. Because you loved me, as you always have.

So I smiled at you- I smiled a lot. I cared about you, like I still do. You were important to me, and I realized I had needed to see you too. But not just you. Seeing you helped me a lot, helped me to get up and help in finding Sasuke. But I needed to see Sasuke, and you, and Kakashi-sensei, all together, with me. All together. Happy again. As a team.

But I saw you, and Kakashi too sometimes. I'd be with you both, and we'd smile. Almost all together. Almost happy. Almost a team.

Almost our little family.

There was new people in our lives, one was Sai. He was strong. He almost looked like Sasuke. Not quite. Not Sasuke. Not what we needed to make us happy.

We went through a lot of crap, just trying to get him back. We always stuck together. You were always there, helping me to find my way. I could always see.

Well, we saw him a few times-- and we always almost got him back. But we'd always fail. We'd be sadder than before every time, but we still had each other, and we still had hope, and you still had your fire, so we'd get up and keep going.

It was a huge fight; perhaps "fight" was an understatement. More of a war. All of our friends were there, our friends and family, all there to fiht for our homes against Sound. We all did our best, and we all did well.

I was fighting some random Sound ninja when I think we both spotted him there.

"Sasuke!" I yelled, shocked. You were running towards him. I could tell, you were going to finish this here and now finally-- no more chasing.

I almost got killed, the nin practically stabbed me in the heart, but I dodged in the nick of time. It was my fault, I was trying to watch you in the middle of the fight. I kicked the guy, and he went flying. Looking around, it seemed like everyone was trying to juggle watching you two, and fighting off attackers.

I had to watch. I just had to see. So I ran down towards you, but stopped at a safe distance- which weas pretty far off, because everyone knows that it's usually pretty huge when you two fight, and this time would probably be the biggest yet.

But I was stupid. I was so focused on you, I didn't hear them come up behind me. I don't know exactly who it was,I never did see them, but one second I was watching you two about to charge at each other, you with Rasengan, Sasuke with Chidori, when I felt extreme pain on my head before falling to thr ground, unconscious.

The last memory from that day was of Sasuke also falling to the ground, blood pouring out of him, you in front of him with a horrified look upon your face.

A couple weeks later, we stood side by side at a grave.

You killed Sasuke.

I was angry. I blamed you. I blamed you for my pain, for the complete loss of someone I loved so much, whom I'd risked my life trying to get back so many times, who I'd cried over so many times, who I loved.

I glanced your way, looking at your face. It was the sad. The saddest it'd ever been. And it me angrier.

To me, you had murdered him, and you didn't have a right to mourn his loss. In that moment, I barely even thought you had a right to live anymore, not after what you did.

Everyone else didn't get mad at you- they hadn't known Sasuke too well, and a lot of them didn't like him anyways. He'd betrayed our village. And they all adored Naruto in their own ways, and knew he didn't mean to. I loved Naruto too, and I knew very well he hadn't meant it. But I needed to blame him. I needed to.

I clenched my fists at my sides, shut my eyes tightly, tears falling out, before turning towards Naruto. "You.. You promised you'd bring him back to me, Naruto... You promised I'd be happy." Naruto turned towards me, his expression changing slightly, to one that showed fear. It wasn't fear that I'd hurt you. You were scared that I'd hate you, weren't you? I never hated you, I couldn't. I loved you too much. But I kept going.

"You broke your promise, Naruto! You lied to me! I'm not happy!" I shouted, my anger growing and growing. " You killed Sasuke!"

I stopped, closing my eyes again, more tears falling. I was shaking now.

I don't know what made me do this. It was the biggest regret of my life, Naruto. I wish you'd realize this.

"I hate you, Naruto!!" I yelled, looking at his face for one second, before running off to my home.

The look on his face was the most painful thing I'd ever seen.

And ever since I saw it, it's haunted me everyday, always popping up in my brain as a reminder of the terrible things I'd said to him.

Because that was the moment your flame completely went out.

It's been some years since then. And I'm completely lost, Naruto. I don't know what I'm doing half the time, or where I'm going- I can't see anymore. My life's ruined. I'm depressed. I've lost everything I had.

Except you're still here. Sortive.

You never left me. You never got mad at me, or gave up on me.

You still watch over me, and protect me if I'm going to get hurt.

You still smile at me sometimes. Even though I know you aren't happy.

You still love me.

But you can't guide me anymore. You try to, all the time, but your light's gone.

So I'm lost, and I can't find my way anymore.

But it's my fault. I don't blame you Naruto- I don't blame you for anything.

The only thing I've got left is you, Naruto, even if you no longer light up.

I'll still carry you with me, and I know you'll still stay with me. No matter what.

Because no matter what, you're always my candle, Naruto.

My dear, dear candle.

The End

Oh man... that is sad. Now, a lot of this might sound rather negative when it comes to Sakura maybe. I'm a Sakura fan, though, so I didn't mean it like that. When I came up the Naruto being her candle idea, the story was 100% different. It was shorter, and really happy-- it was a fluff story, actually. I don't know what got me into this. Please read and review! Oh, and I honestly don't know how it is. It could be good, or it could suck completely. I really can't tell. Either way, once again, review!

Seeya,
AlwaysHiei