Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Dotless Dice ❯ Everyone's a Bastard ( Chapter 2 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: VanityWantsYou 
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 11.03.2006 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.1K | Visits: 806 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 11.03.2006 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.1K | Visits: 806 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Simple as cake.
I'd like to say thank you to my reviewers! I love you guys and you all give me inspiration :runs away crying happily:
Oh, and before the fic starts, I'd like to say that my Genma in here is based off of FastForward's Genma :grin: If you haven't read her work, you should, she's the best! Ooo... and Genma's a sneaky little pervert, yesh he is! And in the last chapter, I realized that I had the keitai-denwa and the tatami mat as (5), when the tatami mat should be (6). Gomen! But, uh, if you didn't know, a keitai-denwa is a cellphone :stupid smile:
As soon as Kakashi and Iruka heard the commotion coming from Sasuke's serving room, they had immediately gone to investigate. Although, the both of them were going to check it out for two totally different reasons. Iruka was worried that one of the other hosts might have gotten into a fight with the raven, while Kakashi was just being a curious little bastard.
"I doubt one of the hosts would start a fight with Sasuke while he's serving a client," Kakashi insisted after Iruka wouldn't stop mumbling his worries, "they'd get fired for that, and you know how much most of the people here need the money. They wouldn't risk it."
"Th-then what about the client?"
"You mean little Naruto-kun?" the scarecrow chuckled, "that kid wouldn't start a fight."
Iruka just frowned at the comment, "Are you sure?"
Kakashi was about to answer, but a stuttering Hinata interrupted them. Her arms were stiffly at her sides and her pale eyes filled with worry.
"K-Kakashi-san... um... Naruto-kun and U-Uchiha-san are... well... should I... should I send Genma-san and Raidou-san in to stop them?" she asked hesitently.
"Then they are fighting!" Iruka exclaimed, "and you said that Naruto boy wouldn't start a fight!" he didn't even let the silver-heaird man reply before he shot down the hallway like a bottle rocket, shoving open Sasuke's door and bolting in. Both Kakashi and Hinata stared in shock as they heard more yelling, an occasional "dobe" here, and a "teme" there. But Iruka's scoldings were the loudest, making the two employees cringe.
Inside of the room, Naruto was standing in a corner holding a few plates of food, his right arm raised in the air. In his clutches was a piece of sushi and Iruka knew that if he stepped any closer, the blond would throw it. He glanced back at Sasuke who was drenched with the serving drinks and covered in sesame seeds, a dark glare in place.
"You guys tricked me into coming here, didn't you?.! You made me think this place was a cafe, when it's really some whore house!" Naruto whined. He threw the piece of sushi at Iruka, but the worker dodged it.
Kakashi decided this was the right time to enter, and waved at everyone nonchalantly. He blinked and stepped back when he felt something crunch under his feet, "Maa, look at the mess in here... Sasuke, you know how much money this is going to cost you, right?"
Sasuke winced and stood up, never letting his glare leave Naruto's face until he was out the door, slamming it behind him. All of them could hear Hinata's fearful 'eep' as the Uchiha passed her.
"Naruto-kun," Kakashi started.
"Why would you guys make this place seem like a cafe?.!" Naruto shouted, When it so obviously isn't one!
The scarecrow chuckled at the question while picking up pieces of broken glass and snapped bamboo stocks, "Any intelligent person would be able to tell this was a pleasure house."
"How so?.!"
"Well," Iruka answered instead, "the name of this house is The 'Pink' Trade, and everyone knows that a 'Pink' store is one that sells physical pleasure," he laughed lightly when Naruto gave him a disgusted look, "you didn't know that? And you're what, thirteen?"
Naruto blushed, "I-I'm sixteen!!" his answer only made Iruka laugh more, Kakashi holding back his amusement with one of his hands.
"Hellooo minna!!!" a shrill voice rang out as the screen door was shoved open once again. Standing there was a man with brown hair and a toothpick between his lips. Next to him, another man stood. He had short brown hair and a scar covering his left cheek and the bridge of his nose, "Hinata-chan said there was a fight and that a cute little blond named Naruto-kun might be hurt!" he looked around the room and spotted said blond staring at him, "Oh my, well aren't you delicious?" he grinned cheekily.
"Genma, don't hit on clients," the second adult said sternly.
"Buuut Raidou! Don't you think he's yummy, too?" Genma whined.
"Genma, Raidou, sorry, but you won't be needed here now," Iruka said politely, "Naruto doesn't seem to be injured at all."
Well, my pride's pretty hurt, Naruto cried in his mind.
Kakashi looked around the room at all of the broken items and smiled beneath his mask, "Actually, you two could clean this place up for us. I'll add 8,000 yen to this month's pay."
"We'll take it! Come on, Raidou, let's get to work!" Genma chirped merrily. The only reply he received was a grunt in annoyed acceptance.
"Now come, Naruto-kun," Kakashi called, "we'll get your bill rung up and then you can get going."
Naruto's heart stopped at the word "bill". Even if he hardly knew anything about places like this, he knew it would be expensive. He just hoped that his Froggy-chan(1) had enough money in his tummy to cover it.
xXxX Smex XxXx
The little green wallet/purse known as Froggy-chan was sitting empty and alone on the front counter while Iruka put away the contents of said frog's stomach into the cash register. Naruto was practically hypervenilating in his seat by the stairs, his hands tugging at his hair and his legs bouncing up and down in nerve.
25,000 yen! 25,000 yen for something I didn't even get! ... Wait, what?.! Naruto just wanted to slam his head against the wall, but Kakashi was watching his every move, so that was definitely out of the question, I shouldn't care if I didn't get it! I have to pay 25,000 yen for something I didn't even want!!
Iruka gave the nervous teen a concerned look, then sighed, "Well, Naruto, you owe us 22,750 yen..."
His life was over. Uzumaki Naruto owed a pleasure house 22,750 yen and he knew what that meant, "... Do... do I have to work here now? You know... to pay it off?"
Both Kakashi and Iruka stared at him, "You want to work here?" they both asked in unison.
"N-no! It's just... usually, when someone doesn't have enough for their bill, they have to work to pay it off," Naruto noticed the gleam in Kakashi's exposed eye and gulped. He's scheming something... I knew I should've kept my big mouth shut.
"Hmmm, I think you working here would be a fantastic idea! You seem like a close-minded person, so why don't we open you up a bit?" Naruto could practically see the toothy grin under that blue mask, "in more ways than one," he stepped away from the wall he was leaning against and practically flew over to Iruka, "what do you say, Dolphin-chan?"
Naruto didn't think of Iruka as the type to glare, but he was oh so wrong, "What did I tell you about calling me that?"
"Gomen, gomen," Kakashi said, but we all know he didn't really mean it.
Iruka sighed and folded his arms over his chest, looking at Naruto the same way someone would look at an injured duck, "Kakashi, we can't just make a highschool student work here," he whispered so the blond wouldn't hear, "what would his parents say? And his school?"
Kakashi turned to Naruto and his eye once again went up into a happy upturned 'u', "Oh, Naruto-kun, you wouldn't tell your parents about this, would you?"
"Well... I don't really have any parents(2)," Naruto answered honestly. He had no clue that he was digging his own grave.
"I see... and what about your school?"
"Heh, they wouldn't care. I'm the last person they'd worry about."
Kakashi went back to his conversation with Iruka and gave him a thumbs up, "It looks like there's nothing wrong with him working here now," yes, Kakashi was one to never give up on something he really wanted, especially if it would be good entertainment for him during boring work hours without Iruka.
Heaving another sigh, Iruka pulled out a clipboard and a few sheets of paper, "Naruto, could you please come here for a moment?"
Please, please, please let him say that I can just wash some dishes or something! the blond made his way to the counter and smiled nervously, "Yeah?"
The look Iruka was giving him could make any man scared shitless. Naruto was a dead man walking now. Only a matter of seconds before he was shot in the head and shoved into a dirt hole.
"To make up for the 22,750 yen you owe The 'Pink' Trade, you will be working as a host. Just sign these papers and we'll be able to get you health insurance, dental insurance, an account, a room, and various wardrobes," Iruka handed the dumbfounded boy the clipboard and a pen.
"And believe me Naruto-kun, you'll need all the insurance you can get," Kakashi said cheerfully while pushing Naruto back into the sitting room to do the paperwork.
xXxX Smex XxXx
It was a beautiful Monday afternoon and the bright sun wasn't hidden by a single cloud. Birds were singing, students were flocking the streets, talking animatedly about the recent animes that premiered the night before. Yes, it seemed as if the whole Ikebukuro district was covered in an air of happiness today.
"Stupid sun, stupid birds, stupid people," Naruto grumbled while staring out the window of his classroom.
Naruto went to Rikkyo Ikebukuro Junior and Senior High School(3), an older school just a few miles away from the Sunshine City(4). It was one of the coolest schools in Tokyo because during lunchbreak, you could just get on a bullet train, go to the Sunshine City, and hang out there for an hour until it was time for class again. That's what Naruto usually did with his friends, but today he wasn't in a 'hanging out' mood.
I have to work tonight... he thought, I have to dress up and serve people... Please let there just be women! Naruto wasn't a homophobe, he just... wasn't comfortable with other men touching him... and he certainly didn't want to touch them either.
"Naruto nii-chan!" a small voice called out.
"Huh?" Naruto looked to the side to see Konohamaru standing by the door with his two best friends, Moegi and Udon. How the...? "Aren't you guys supposed to be in school?"
"We had our physical endurance test today!" Moegi stated proudly, "our teacher said we could go home early after we were done, but we decided to come visit you instead, Leader!" all three of them scurried past the much taller kids and plastered themselves to Naruto's desk with huge, hopeful eyes.
Naruto could feel a twitch coming on, "What?"
Udon pushed his glasses further up onto his nose and sniffed loudly, a dorky smile on his chubby face, "We were hoping you'd let us come with you and your friends to the Sunshine City."
"Please, Leader? We'll be good! We just got our allowances and we wanna buy some stuff," Moegi pleaded sweetly. Too bad her marshmellowy words only worked on Konohamaru.
"Nope, go ask someone else," Naruto brushed them off and went back to staring out the window and cursing at all the happiness.
"You're not feeling well?" Udon piped up.
"Naruto nii-chan's sick?.!" Konohamaru cried.
You know, sometimes I just want to slam a chair into their puny little heads, "No, I'm not sick. I just don't feel like going anywhere today. Why don't you three go ask Ino? I bet she'd love to take you guys." Yes, go with Ino and be stuck with her while she tries on loads of clothes.
"W-well, alright..." Moegi murmered worriedly, "we'll see you tomorrow, Leader," then they all left, Udon waving, and Konohamaru sticking his tongue out and calling Naruto lazy.
"When did little kids start coming here?" Nara Shikamaru asked tiredly as he entered the room and placed himself in a seat next to Naruto's. Shikamaru was an odd ball, that's what Naruto would say. He slept through almost all hours of the day, yet he got perfect scores on all of his quizzes, tests, and exams. The lazy bastard was a genius!
Naruto cocked an eyebrow at his friend. Shikamaru never asked questions before sitting down. The reason for that was the simple fact that he'd fall asleep before he heard the answer. But a grin made its way onto Naruto's face when he saw the teen sigh and lay his head down on the smooth desk.
"Nevermind... so troublesome..."
Hah! I knew that was coming! Naruto's inner voice shouted.
"You're not going to the mall today?" Shikamaru asked quietly, his eyes closed.
Wow, is that... concern I hear? "I'm not in the mood..." Naruto trailed off and looked down at his watch, Only five hours 'til I have to head over to Akasaka, "Shikamaru... can I confide in you?"
A ghost of a smile appeared on Shikamaru's lips and he chuckled lightly, "Do you even know what that word means?"
"Shikamaru!" The blond pouted.
"It was only a joke, Naruto. And yeah, you can confide in me," the other teen's eyes opened and he sat up, yawning.
"What if I said... I had to sort of work as a wh--" he cut himself off and cringed. He just now remembered what Kakashi had said about calling his now "colleages", whores.
xXxX flashback XxXx
"Around here, you'll want to remember the differences between hosts and whores. As you know, whores sell their bodies for money," Kakashi saw Naruto nod dumbly and took that as the queue to continue, "now, hosts, they don't all use their bodies to give people pleasure. They also use music, dance, and conversation."
"Oh, like in that geisha movie(5)?" Naruto asked.
"... Yes, like in that geisha movie," Kakashi chuckled, "But Naruto-kun, let me tell you what will most likely happen if you make a mistake and call one of the hosts a whore," he bent down and whispered something into the fox boy's ear, making the blond's eyes widen and his hands go down and cover more, ahem, private areas.
xXxX flashback XxXx
"You were saying?" Shikamaru muttered boredly.
Naruto shook his head to get rid of the horrible memory and grinned sheepishly, "Sorry. Um... like I was saying, what if I sort of had to work as a host... at a pleasure house? A-And it's a hypothetical question!"
There was an akward silence between the two, then Shikamaru did what he rarely ever did. He laughed... and laughed, and laughed, and laughed until tears were threatening to fall.
"Y-you can't be serious! How the hell did you get stuck in a job like that?.!"
Naruto glared, "I thought you said I could confide in you!"
"A-Aw man, you can... it's just... that's pretty funny," Shikamaru wiped the tears away and coughed, his laughter dying down, "You really have to work at a place like that? How'd that happen?"
"Well, you see..."
xXxX Smex XxXx
The air was filled with the sweet aroma of therapeutic incense... and Naruto absolutely despised it. One incense candle would be alright, but eighteen of them?.! Kakashi had said that they helped get people in the mood, but Naruto didn't want to deal with an overly horny client! Hell, he didn't want to deal with clients at all!
As you could probably tell, Naruto was in a pretty foul mood. It started when he had tried explaining to Shikamaru how he got this job. The lazy bastard just laughed. He laughed! Then after school he had to deal with Ino and Kiba when they started asking why he didn't meet up with them at the station. And now, he was dressed in a tight, blue yukata, sitting in a room filled with the most nauseating incense candles.
"N-Naruto-kun...?" Hinata asked shyly from the other side of the sliding door.
"Well, at least there's no way Hinata can get on my nerves," Naruto convinced himself, "Yeah?" he answered loud enough for the girl to hear.
"U-Uchiha-san wanted me to tell you something. He couldn't tell you himself because he has a client..."
Pft, he has something to tell me? "Whatever, humor me, Hinata," he grinned.
On the other side of the door, Hinata was having a few problems. She didn't really want to say what Sasuke told her to say, but... if she didn't, who knew what he'd do? The raven was known for his sudden acts of violence, and her not giving Naruto the message might set him off. But... the message itself was quite embarrassing.
With a deep blush, Hinata began to talk, "N-Naruto-kun, f-for your own sake... I-I-I hope... I hope you know h-how to give a good b-blow job..." after finishing, she mumbled her apologies and ran down the hall.
The grin that was on Naruto's face slipped away and he growled, "that bastard!!!" but even though he was angry, he couldn't help the blush that settled itself on his cheeks, Wait until I see you next, Teme, you're going to wish you were never born!! he slammed his fists on the table and cursed as one of the drinking cups fell over.
Yelling from out in the hall reached his ears once he calmed down, and the feeling of curiousity absorbed the feeling of anger. Naruto knew that the first voice was Kakashi, but the second one... it sounded familiar, but he couldn't put his finger on it.
An annoying, girly voice... ah! It must be that Sakura girl! Naruto got up from his tatami mat and crawled over to the door, pulling it open and sticking his head out, cerulean eyes glowing under the dim lights.
He found that the voices weren't coming from the hall, but from the front counter. There were a good bit of people in the sitting room, all of them staring at Sakura like she had mushrooms growing out of her abnormally large head as she complained to Kakashi (who, by the way, looked extremely annoyed and bored at the same time).
"What do you mean I can't see Sasuke-kun?.!" she hissed, her hands on her hips.
"Sakura, Sasuke has a client," Kakashi explained to the girl for what seemed to be the tenth time in three minutes.
"He always has a client!"
The masked man sighed and rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on. Does this girl ever give up? "That's because he's the top host here. Listen, why don't you enjoy the company of our newest little kitten?" Kakashi asked with a slightly arched eye.
Sakura blinked, then frowned, "I don't want anyone but Sasuke-kun!"
"Ah, but didn't you hear? This boy is said to be the only one who can make your darling Sasuke-kun all hot and bothered," Kakashi whispered, Oh, how he loved to tease.
"Hot and... bothered...?"
"In the sexual way."
"Sexual... way? ... sexual way?.!" Sakura screamed, "only I can make Sasuke-kun hot and bothered!" she slammed her hands on the table, "I want to buy the new host for the night!"
Naruto was watching all of this with an expression of pure horror. "No... no way..." I think I'd prefer a horny guy over her any day, he stumbled and flew back into the room when he saw Kakashi and Sakura head his way. He slid the door shut and went back to sitting on his tatami mat, fixing his yukata and coughing at a sudden strong wiff of incense. He threw a nervous smile at Sakura when the girl entered.
Remember your lines, Naruto, remember your lines! "Konbanwa," he said while bowing, "my name's Uzumaki Naruto and I'll be your host this evening."
Sakura gave him a scrutinizing look, then turned to Kakashi, "this is him? Really?"
"Really," the scarecrow assured her, "Now Naruto-kun, remember that we can't make you do anything sexual here unless you do it of your own free will. You're not a permanent host, so no one will force you. If anyone tries anything, you should know that you have the right to stab them!" Kakashi explained with much enthusiasm.
"Uh, right... thanks..." Naruto frowned, does that mean I might get raped?
"I suppose I'll leave you two alone now! Enjoy his company, Sakura!"
When the door was closed, Sakura gave Naruto a heated glare and sat down across from him, picking up a cup of lemon tea.
"A good host should always drink along with their client," she sneered, putting the cup to her lips and taking a sip.
Naruto blushed in embarrassment and picked up the clay cup filled with coffee, "P-pardon my rudeness," che, what a bitch... he took a sip and licked his lips, enjoying the taste.
"So," the pink-haired girl started, "your name's Naruto?"
Naruto took another sip and nodded.
"Huh... I don't understand how you can make Sasuke-kun all hot and bothered, "Sakura stated rudely.
The blond's eyes widened and the coffee he was drinking was spit out onto the table and wooden floor.
"Eww!!"
"Hot and bothered?.!" Ok, that part I didn't hear!! "Kakashi!!!!!"
xXxX Smex XxXx
Out by the front counter, Kakashi blew Iruka a kiss before grabbing his car keys and leaving. He began to hum while he approached his car and pushed a key into the driver's side door, chuckling to himself when he heard Naruto's yelling from all the way out in the parking lot. Yes indeed, Kakashi loved to stir things up for his own amusement.
(1)- If some of you don't know, Froggy-chan is the little frog purse Naruto always has with him in the series.
(2)- I know, I know, the usual. Naruto doesn't have any parents, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh! Well, I wanted to use it cuz it made it more convenient for Kakashi :grin:
(3)- Rikkyo Ikebukuro Junior and Senior High School is an actual school in Ikebukuro. Although... I couldn't find any english translations of the courses they have, so they might be a little off when I mention 'em.
(4)- Sunshine City is a superhuge mall in Ikebukuro. It'd take an entire day to get through it all. Go on wikipedia if you wanna know more :dorky smile:
(5)- Woo! Memiors of a Geisha!
I'd like to say thank you to my reviewers! I love you guys and you all give me inspiration :runs away crying happily:
Oh, and before the fic starts, I'd like to say that my Genma in here is based off of FastForward's Genma :grin: If you haven't read her work, you should, she's the best! Ooo... and Genma's a sneaky little pervert, yesh he is! And in the last chapter, I realized that I had the keitai-denwa and the tatami mat as (5), when the tatami mat should be (6). Gomen! But, uh, if you didn't know, a keitai-denwa is a cellphone :stupid smile:
As soon as Kakashi and Iruka heard the commotion coming from Sasuke's serving room, they had immediately gone to investigate. Although, the both of them were going to check it out for two totally different reasons. Iruka was worried that one of the other hosts might have gotten into a fight with the raven, while Kakashi was just being a curious little bastard.
"I doubt one of the hosts would start a fight with Sasuke while he's serving a client," Kakashi insisted after Iruka wouldn't stop mumbling his worries, "they'd get fired for that, and you know how much most of the people here need the money. They wouldn't risk it."
"Th-then what about the client?"
"You mean little Naruto-kun?" the scarecrow chuckled, "that kid wouldn't start a fight."
Iruka just frowned at the comment, "Are you sure?"
Kakashi was about to answer, but a stuttering Hinata interrupted them. Her arms were stiffly at her sides and her pale eyes filled with worry.
"K-Kakashi-san... um... Naruto-kun and U-Uchiha-san are... well... should I... should I send Genma-san and Raidou-san in to stop them?" she asked hesitently.
"Then they are fighting!" Iruka exclaimed, "and you said that Naruto boy wouldn't start a fight!" he didn't even let the silver-heaird man reply before he shot down the hallway like a bottle rocket, shoving open Sasuke's door and bolting in. Both Kakashi and Hinata stared in shock as they heard more yelling, an occasional "dobe" here, and a "teme" there. But Iruka's scoldings were the loudest, making the two employees cringe.
Inside of the room, Naruto was standing in a corner holding a few plates of food, his right arm raised in the air. In his clutches was a piece of sushi and Iruka knew that if he stepped any closer, the blond would throw it. He glanced back at Sasuke who was drenched with the serving drinks and covered in sesame seeds, a dark glare in place.
"You guys tricked me into coming here, didn't you?.! You made me think this place was a cafe, when it's really some whore house!" Naruto whined. He threw the piece of sushi at Iruka, but the worker dodged it.
Kakashi decided this was the right time to enter, and waved at everyone nonchalantly. He blinked and stepped back when he felt something crunch under his feet, "Maa, look at the mess in here... Sasuke, you know how much money this is going to cost you, right?"
Sasuke winced and stood up, never letting his glare leave Naruto's face until he was out the door, slamming it behind him. All of them could hear Hinata's fearful 'eep' as the Uchiha passed her.
"Naruto-kun," Kakashi started.
"Why would you guys make this place seem like a cafe?.!" Naruto shouted, When it so obviously isn't one!
The scarecrow chuckled at the question while picking up pieces of broken glass and snapped bamboo stocks, "Any intelligent person would be able to tell this was a pleasure house."
"How so?.!"
"Well," Iruka answered instead, "the name of this house is The 'Pink' Trade, and everyone knows that a 'Pink' store is one that sells physical pleasure," he laughed lightly when Naruto gave him a disgusted look, "you didn't know that? And you're what, thirteen?"
Naruto blushed, "I-I'm sixteen!!" his answer only made Iruka laugh more, Kakashi holding back his amusement with one of his hands.
"Hellooo minna!!!" a shrill voice rang out as the screen door was shoved open once again. Standing there was a man with brown hair and a toothpick between his lips. Next to him, another man stood. He had short brown hair and a scar covering his left cheek and the bridge of his nose, "Hinata-chan said there was a fight and that a cute little blond named Naruto-kun might be hurt!" he looked around the room and spotted said blond staring at him, "Oh my, well aren't you delicious?" he grinned cheekily.
"Genma, don't hit on clients," the second adult said sternly.
"Buuut Raidou! Don't you think he's yummy, too?" Genma whined.
"Genma, Raidou, sorry, but you won't be needed here now," Iruka said politely, "Naruto doesn't seem to be injured at all."
Well, my pride's pretty hurt, Naruto cried in his mind.
Kakashi looked around the room at all of the broken items and smiled beneath his mask, "Actually, you two could clean this place up for us. I'll add 8,000 yen to this month's pay."
"We'll take it! Come on, Raidou, let's get to work!" Genma chirped merrily. The only reply he received was a grunt in annoyed acceptance.
"Now come, Naruto-kun," Kakashi called, "we'll get your bill rung up and then you can get going."
Naruto's heart stopped at the word "bill". Even if he hardly knew anything about places like this, he knew it would be expensive. He just hoped that his Froggy-chan(1) had enough money in his tummy to cover it.
xXxX Smex XxXx
The little green wallet/purse known as Froggy-chan was sitting empty and alone on the front counter while Iruka put away the contents of said frog's stomach into the cash register. Naruto was practically hypervenilating in his seat by the stairs, his hands tugging at his hair and his legs bouncing up and down in nerve.
25,000 yen! 25,000 yen for something I didn't even get! ... Wait, what?.! Naruto just wanted to slam his head against the wall, but Kakashi was watching his every move, so that was definitely out of the question, I shouldn't care if I didn't get it! I have to pay 25,000 yen for something I didn't even want!!
Iruka gave the nervous teen a concerned look, then sighed, "Well, Naruto, you owe us 22,750 yen..."
His life was over. Uzumaki Naruto owed a pleasure house 22,750 yen and he knew what that meant, "... Do... do I have to work here now? You know... to pay it off?"
Both Kakashi and Iruka stared at him, "You want to work here?" they both asked in unison.
"N-no! It's just... usually, when someone doesn't have enough for their bill, they have to work to pay it off," Naruto noticed the gleam in Kakashi's exposed eye and gulped. He's scheming something... I knew I should've kept my big mouth shut.
"Hmmm, I think you working here would be a fantastic idea! You seem like a close-minded person, so why don't we open you up a bit?" Naruto could practically see the toothy grin under that blue mask, "in more ways than one," he stepped away from the wall he was leaning against and practically flew over to Iruka, "what do you say, Dolphin-chan?"
Naruto didn't think of Iruka as the type to glare, but he was oh so wrong, "What did I tell you about calling me that?"
"Gomen, gomen," Kakashi said, but we all know he didn't really mean it.
Iruka sighed and folded his arms over his chest, looking at Naruto the same way someone would look at an injured duck, "Kakashi, we can't just make a highschool student work here," he whispered so the blond wouldn't hear, "what would his parents say? And his school?"
Kakashi turned to Naruto and his eye once again went up into a happy upturned 'u', "Oh, Naruto-kun, you wouldn't tell your parents about this, would you?"
"Well... I don't really have any parents(2)," Naruto answered honestly. He had no clue that he was digging his own grave.
"I see... and what about your school?"
"Heh, they wouldn't care. I'm the last person they'd worry about."
Kakashi went back to his conversation with Iruka and gave him a thumbs up, "It looks like there's nothing wrong with him working here now," yes, Kakashi was one to never give up on something he really wanted, especially if it would be good entertainment for him during boring work hours without Iruka.
Heaving another sigh, Iruka pulled out a clipboard and a few sheets of paper, "Naruto, could you please come here for a moment?"
Please, please, please let him say that I can just wash some dishes or something! the blond made his way to the counter and smiled nervously, "Yeah?"
The look Iruka was giving him could make any man scared shitless. Naruto was a dead man walking now. Only a matter of seconds before he was shot in the head and shoved into a dirt hole.
"To make up for the 22,750 yen you owe The 'Pink' Trade, you will be working as a host. Just sign these papers and we'll be able to get you health insurance, dental insurance, an account, a room, and various wardrobes," Iruka handed the dumbfounded boy the clipboard and a pen.
"And believe me Naruto-kun, you'll need all the insurance you can get," Kakashi said cheerfully while pushing Naruto back into the sitting room to do the paperwork.
xXxX Smex XxXx
It was a beautiful Monday afternoon and the bright sun wasn't hidden by a single cloud. Birds were singing, students were flocking the streets, talking animatedly about the recent animes that premiered the night before. Yes, it seemed as if the whole Ikebukuro district was covered in an air of happiness today.
"Stupid sun, stupid birds, stupid people," Naruto grumbled while staring out the window of his classroom.
Naruto went to Rikkyo Ikebukuro Junior and Senior High School(3), an older school just a few miles away from the Sunshine City(4). It was one of the coolest schools in Tokyo because during lunchbreak, you could just get on a bullet train, go to the Sunshine City, and hang out there for an hour until it was time for class again. That's what Naruto usually did with his friends, but today he wasn't in a 'hanging out' mood.
I have to work tonight... he thought, I have to dress up and serve people... Please let there just be women! Naruto wasn't a homophobe, he just... wasn't comfortable with other men touching him... and he certainly didn't want to touch them either.
"Naruto nii-chan!" a small voice called out.
"Huh?" Naruto looked to the side to see Konohamaru standing by the door with his two best friends, Moegi and Udon. How the...? "Aren't you guys supposed to be in school?"
"We had our physical endurance test today!" Moegi stated proudly, "our teacher said we could go home early after we were done, but we decided to come visit you instead, Leader!" all three of them scurried past the much taller kids and plastered themselves to Naruto's desk with huge, hopeful eyes.
Naruto could feel a twitch coming on, "What?"
Udon pushed his glasses further up onto his nose and sniffed loudly, a dorky smile on his chubby face, "We were hoping you'd let us come with you and your friends to the Sunshine City."
"Please, Leader? We'll be good! We just got our allowances and we wanna buy some stuff," Moegi pleaded sweetly. Too bad her marshmellowy words only worked on Konohamaru.
"Nope, go ask someone else," Naruto brushed them off and went back to staring out the window and cursing at all the happiness.
"You're not feeling well?" Udon piped up.
"Naruto nii-chan's sick?.!" Konohamaru cried.
You know, sometimes I just want to slam a chair into their puny little heads, "No, I'm not sick. I just don't feel like going anywhere today. Why don't you three go ask Ino? I bet she'd love to take you guys." Yes, go with Ino and be stuck with her while she tries on loads of clothes.
"W-well, alright..." Moegi murmered worriedly, "we'll see you tomorrow, Leader," then they all left, Udon waving, and Konohamaru sticking his tongue out and calling Naruto lazy.
"When did little kids start coming here?" Nara Shikamaru asked tiredly as he entered the room and placed himself in a seat next to Naruto's. Shikamaru was an odd ball, that's what Naruto would say. He slept through almost all hours of the day, yet he got perfect scores on all of his quizzes, tests, and exams. The lazy bastard was a genius!
Naruto cocked an eyebrow at his friend. Shikamaru never asked questions before sitting down. The reason for that was the simple fact that he'd fall asleep before he heard the answer. But a grin made its way onto Naruto's face when he saw the teen sigh and lay his head down on the smooth desk.
"Nevermind... so troublesome..."
Hah! I knew that was coming! Naruto's inner voice shouted.
"You're not going to the mall today?" Shikamaru asked quietly, his eyes closed.
Wow, is that... concern I hear? "I'm not in the mood..." Naruto trailed off and looked down at his watch, Only five hours 'til I have to head over to Akasaka, "Shikamaru... can I confide in you?"
A ghost of a smile appeared on Shikamaru's lips and he chuckled lightly, "Do you even know what that word means?"
"Shikamaru!" The blond pouted.
"It was only a joke, Naruto. And yeah, you can confide in me," the other teen's eyes opened and he sat up, yawning.
"What if I said... I had to sort of work as a wh--" he cut himself off and cringed. He just now remembered what Kakashi had said about calling his now "colleages", whores.
xXxX flashback XxXx
"Around here, you'll want to remember the differences between hosts and whores. As you know, whores sell their bodies for money," Kakashi saw Naruto nod dumbly and took that as the queue to continue, "now, hosts, they don't all use their bodies to give people pleasure. They also use music, dance, and conversation."
"Oh, like in that geisha movie(5)?" Naruto asked.
"... Yes, like in that geisha movie," Kakashi chuckled, "But Naruto-kun, let me tell you what will most likely happen if you make a mistake and call one of the hosts a whore," he bent down and whispered something into the fox boy's ear, making the blond's eyes widen and his hands go down and cover more, ahem, private areas.
xXxX flashback XxXx
"You were saying?" Shikamaru muttered boredly.
Naruto shook his head to get rid of the horrible memory and grinned sheepishly, "Sorry. Um... like I was saying, what if I sort of had to work as a host... at a pleasure house? A-And it's a hypothetical question!"
There was an akward silence between the two, then Shikamaru did what he rarely ever did. He laughed... and laughed, and laughed, and laughed until tears were threatening to fall.
"Y-you can't be serious! How the hell did you get stuck in a job like that?.!"
Naruto glared, "I thought you said I could confide in you!"
"A-Aw man, you can... it's just... that's pretty funny," Shikamaru wiped the tears away and coughed, his laughter dying down, "You really have to work at a place like that? How'd that happen?"
"Well, you see..."
xXxX Smex XxXx
The air was filled with the sweet aroma of therapeutic incense... and Naruto absolutely despised it. One incense candle would be alright, but eighteen of them?.! Kakashi had said that they helped get people in the mood, but Naruto didn't want to deal with an overly horny client! Hell, he didn't want to deal with clients at all!
As you could probably tell, Naruto was in a pretty foul mood. It started when he had tried explaining to Shikamaru how he got this job. The lazy bastard just laughed. He laughed! Then after school he had to deal with Ino and Kiba when they started asking why he didn't meet up with them at the station. And now, he was dressed in a tight, blue yukata, sitting in a room filled with the most nauseating incense candles.
"N-Naruto-kun...?" Hinata asked shyly from the other side of the sliding door.
"Well, at least there's no way Hinata can get on my nerves," Naruto convinced himself, "Yeah?" he answered loud enough for the girl to hear.
"U-Uchiha-san wanted me to tell you something. He couldn't tell you himself because he has a client..."
Pft, he has something to tell me? "Whatever, humor me, Hinata," he grinned.
On the other side of the door, Hinata was having a few problems. She didn't really want to say what Sasuke told her to say, but... if she didn't, who knew what he'd do? The raven was known for his sudden acts of violence, and her not giving Naruto the message might set him off. But... the message itself was quite embarrassing.
With a deep blush, Hinata began to talk, "N-Naruto-kun, f-for your own sake... I-I-I hope... I hope you know h-how to give a good b-blow job..." after finishing, she mumbled her apologies and ran down the hall.
The grin that was on Naruto's face slipped away and he growled, "that bastard!!!" but even though he was angry, he couldn't help the blush that settled itself on his cheeks, Wait until I see you next, Teme, you're going to wish you were never born!! he slammed his fists on the table and cursed as one of the drinking cups fell over.
Yelling from out in the hall reached his ears once he calmed down, and the feeling of curiousity absorbed the feeling of anger. Naruto knew that the first voice was Kakashi, but the second one... it sounded familiar, but he couldn't put his finger on it.
An annoying, girly voice... ah! It must be that Sakura girl! Naruto got up from his tatami mat and crawled over to the door, pulling it open and sticking his head out, cerulean eyes glowing under the dim lights.
He found that the voices weren't coming from the hall, but from the front counter. There were a good bit of people in the sitting room, all of them staring at Sakura like she had mushrooms growing out of her abnormally large head as she complained to Kakashi (who, by the way, looked extremely annoyed and bored at the same time).
"What do you mean I can't see Sasuke-kun?.!" she hissed, her hands on her hips.
"Sakura, Sasuke has a client," Kakashi explained to the girl for what seemed to be the tenth time in three minutes.
"He always has a client!"
The masked man sighed and rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on. Does this girl ever give up? "That's because he's the top host here. Listen, why don't you enjoy the company of our newest little kitten?" Kakashi asked with a slightly arched eye.
Sakura blinked, then frowned, "I don't want anyone but Sasuke-kun!"
"Ah, but didn't you hear? This boy is said to be the only one who can make your darling Sasuke-kun all hot and bothered," Kakashi whispered, Oh, how he loved to tease.
"Hot and... bothered...?"
"In the sexual way."
"Sexual... way? ... sexual way?.!" Sakura screamed, "only I can make Sasuke-kun hot and bothered!" she slammed her hands on the table, "I want to buy the new host for the night!"
Naruto was watching all of this with an expression of pure horror. "No... no way..." I think I'd prefer a horny guy over her any day, he stumbled and flew back into the room when he saw Kakashi and Sakura head his way. He slid the door shut and went back to sitting on his tatami mat, fixing his yukata and coughing at a sudden strong wiff of incense. He threw a nervous smile at Sakura when the girl entered.
Remember your lines, Naruto, remember your lines! "Konbanwa," he said while bowing, "my name's Uzumaki Naruto and I'll be your host this evening."
Sakura gave him a scrutinizing look, then turned to Kakashi, "this is him? Really?"
"Really," the scarecrow assured her, "Now Naruto-kun, remember that we can't make you do anything sexual here unless you do it of your own free will. You're not a permanent host, so no one will force you. If anyone tries anything, you should know that you have the right to stab them!" Kakashi explained with much enthusiasm.
"Uh, right... thanks..." Naruto frowned, does that mean I might get raped?
"I suppose I'll leave you two alone now! Enjoy his company, Sakura!"
When the door was closed, Sakura gave Naruto a heated glare and sat down across from him, picking up a cup of lemon tea.
"A good host should always drink along with their client," she sneered, putting the cup to her lips and taking a sip.
Naruto blushed in embarrassment and picked up the clay cup filled with coffee, "P-pardon my rudeness," che, what a bitch... he took a sip and licked his lips, enjoying the taste.
"So," the pink-haired girl started, "your name's Naruto?"
Naruto took another sip and nodded.
"Huh... I don't understand how you can make Sasuke-kun all hot and bothered, "Sakura stated rudely.
The blond's eyes widened and the coffee he was drinking was spit out onto the table and wooden floor.
"Eww!!"
"Hot and bothered?.!" Ok, that part I didn't hear!! "Kakashi!!!!!"
xXxX Smex XxXx
Out by the front counter, Kakashi blew Iruka a kiss before grabbing his car keys and leaving. He began to hum while he approached his car and pushed a key into the driver's side door, chuckling to himself when he heard Naruto's yelling from all the way out in the parking lot. Yes indeed, Kakashi loved to stir things up for his own amusement.
(1)- If some of you don't know, Froggy-chan is the little frog purse Naruto always has with him in the series.
(2)- I know, I know, the usual. Naruto doesn't have any parents, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh! Well, I wanted to use it cuz it made it more convenient for Kakashi :grin:
(3)- Rikkyo Ikebukuro Junior and Senior High School is an actual school in Ikebukuro. Although... I couldn't find any english translations of the courses they have, so they might be a little off when I mention 'em.
(4)- Sunshine City is a superhuge mall in Ikebukuro. It'd take an entire day to get through it all. Go on wikipedia if you wanna know more :dorky smile:
(5)- Woo! Memiors of a Geisha!