Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Embracing Dreams ❯ Chapter 9

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Part 9

Naruto hated tests. They were pointless, really. He never skipped classes, he always turned in his assignments, he even paid attention so he'd be able to answer questions if Iruka decided to do one of his random 'make sure Naruto's not sleeping through school' quizzes. It wasn't as if he forgot things from one day to the next. And they always started a school year off with a recap of the things they were supposed to have learned the year before. All he needed was a look at the book and he'd remember most of what he needed to know. That should have been enough.

But then there were tests. Comprehensive tests. Like he was going to remember stuff they'd stopped doing years ago, when his head was full of stuff they'd been doing last week. If he needed to recall that stuff, he'd just get one of the books, remember it again, and then apply it to the new stuff. That was what they did with homework. And lessons. So why were the tests set up like they wouldn't have their books next semester? It wasn't right. He knew for a fact no matter what class he was put in, he'd have a textbook, they'd go over it, and then he'd be expected to put it all together. They didn't start a new year by sitting him down in front of ten pages of singlespaced questions and expecting him to pull it all out of his ass.

'What the hell is a logarithm, anyway?' Naruto griped, scowling at his answer booklet. The booklet stared back up at him, as white and blank and unhelpful as ever. Naruto glowered and fidgeted in his seat. 'Hey, bum, wake up for a minute. What's a logarithm? Oi!'

Kyuubi growled and curled tighter in an annoyed ball, tails pressing hard over his ears. 'You answered six of them two pages ago, moron. The ones raised to the little number. Left side of the equal sign...'

'Well, why the hell didn't it just say that, then? Base, power, logathingy - what's the point? If I already had to do the problems, why is it asking again? Shouldn't have to know the names of everything - they're just numbers. You see em and you work em out, that's it.'

'Stop talking to me and do it, then,' Kyuubi grumbled.

'But there aren't any numbers now!' Naruto moaned. 'It's got names for it all and I don't know the names for this stuff - these are theories - theories! I never remember that stuff. It's like that one about the commas - who cares why it goes there as long as you know it does? Come on, Kyuubi. The least you can do is help me with this...'

'If you don't know the answer, skip it. It's not like it matters what class you end up in.'

'Yes it does,' Naruto shot back. 'Iruka's already upset with me and I wanna be able to tell him I did good.'

'You did well,' Kyuubi sighed. 'The result is good.'

'Huh?'

Kyuubi hid his head in his tails again, 'Just give up.'

'But you know this stuff!' Naruto railed. 'You remember everything - I'd have this entire thing done if you'd just wake up and help a little.'

'That would be cheating,' Kyuubi grumbled, already half asleep again. 'Start cheating now and you'll be as stupid as the pustule. Just another pampered little pimple boy...paying someone to squeeze the puss for you so you don't explode...'

Naruto flicked a nasty glare at the boy in question, who was predictably seated right next to the smartest girl in their class and blatantly copying every answer she wrote. And of course old pinched-face somehow managed to miss looking in their direction when he made his rounds of the classroom to make sure no one was cheating. Of course. Naturally. Their teacher had spent half the test time standing right beside Naruto, but never looked two tables to the right where the real cheaters were sitting.

'You suck,' Naruto muttered. He sighed and flipped to a different page of questions. 'You really suck.'

'Only if he's lucky,' Kyuubi mumbled. 'Pretty eyes...'

Naruto raised an eyebrow and forced himself to focus on the first question in front of him. 'I don't even want to know. Go back to sleep.'

'About time...'

Despite his determination not to be anything like the pimple freak, Naruto ended up skipping nearly as many questions in the last section as he answered. He'd just have to hope he'd done well enough with the real math section - the one with numbers - to make up for it. And if he ended up in the same class again next year, he'd have his lazy fox to take it out on. Kyuubi just hated school. That was all there was to it. He hated school as much as Naruto did, only he could sleep all day while Naruto had to stay awake or risk getting sent to a disappointed Iruka's office. That so wasn't fair.

He didn't really consider using Kyuubi as cheating, but he knew it wouldn't do any good to argue with the sleepy fox. He'd tried that quite a few times, using Iruka's argument that Kyuubi was just another part of him, so really they were the same person and he wasn't asking for answers from anyone but himself. Every time he tried it, Kyuubi just rolled over and sniffed that he only used that line when he wanted to cheat in class. Cheating. Yeah. When Naruto wanted help in class it was 'trying to use his unseen friend' but when Kyuubi wanted him to run around barefoot on all fours in the fields it was 'being considerate to the needs of his other half.' Funny how that worked out.

Naruto sighed and closed his answer booklet. Half the class was still working. Sven and his girlfriend of the week had sauntered out twenty minutes ago. Stupid pustule. Everyone knew he was only sleeping with her for this test. If she weren't such a bitch, Naruto might have felt sorry for her.

'She's got nice legs,' Kyuubi commented. 'No ass, though.'

'Oh, so now you're awake,' Naruto scoffed. 'Jerk.'

'Pay attention,' Kyuubi said sharply.

Naruto blinked and looked up to find his teacher standing beside his desk. Again. He frowned up at him, lifting his test and handing it over first. He kept the answer booklet hostage in his right hand.

"My jacket," said Naruto.

"You can get it on your way out," the professor said, frowning back at him. "The booklet."

Naruto scowled and handed it over. His teacher accepted it with a sour expression, swept another look over his desk as if he still thought he'd find a cheat sheet somewhere, and then turned away.

Naruto followed right behind him. It never failed with old pinched-face. Even if it was just a pop quiz, he was still the prime suspect. If he wore a jacket, it was taken. If he wore long sleeves, he had to roll them up. Naruto was sure if Terringer could get away with stripping him of his shirt, he'd have done that too just to be absolutely certain there were no answers anywhere on Naruto's person. The first time it happened, Naruto had been convinced the guy was a pervert from the way he'd stared at his bare arms. Kyuubi was the one who explained how easy it would be to write answers on the inside of his wrist. For a lazy fox who didn't condone cheating on tests, Kyuubi knew all the tricks.

It wasn't until Naruto was safely outside, his jacket recovered and his teacher far from sight, that he vented. 'I hate him. Hate. Despise.'

'Fifteen years at most,' Kyuubi said back, cold and calm to Naruto frustrated anger. 'Lung cancer. Every time you walk in there I can smell it rotting more and more. He'll die all on his own. It's a waste of time to hate him.'

'I wanna hit him,' Naruto sighed. 'Just once. Every time he looks at me like that. And Iruka says he's too old to change - he's not that old. He's just a hateful bastard. It's not even anything I did, it's just 'cause I'm a mutant. Like he'd even know I was if I hadn't admitted it.'

'It's because of Iruka, too,' Kyuubi reminded him.

'I know,' muttered Naruto.

That was the only reason he held back so hard. If he gave Terringer any amunition at all, the professor would run straight to Iruka. Then he'd go over Iruka's head with the complaints. And Iruka would come home and lock himself in his office for hours before finally coming out, sitting down with Naruto, appologizing, and asking him to try harder. And that was worse than anything old pinched-faced put him through during class.

'He'd never have gotten that job even if we hadn't moved here,' Naruto muttered. 'He hates kids.'

'That's not the point,' said Kyuubi. 'The only way he can get to Iruka is through you. And you make it harder for him the more you hold back.'

Naruto gave a wan smile at that. 'You're saying I'm winning, eh?'

'Yes.'

'Trying to cheer me up now?' Naruto prodded, his smile growing wider. 'I'm still going to take it out on you if I fail that test and end up having him again next year.'

'You'd have had him for a few classes, anyway,' Kyuubi sniffed. 'History and Biology. If you didn't do well enough in the math to get out of his homeroom, it's your own fault. Foxes don't do numbers.'

'Excuses, excuses,' Naruto drawled, rolling his eyes. He stepped to the side so a kid could bolt past him and down the sidewalk. She stumbled twice before he recognized her as the smart snobby girl. 'Damn. He couldn't even wait till they got away from school before he dumped her...'

'Feeling sorry for her?' Kyuubi teased. 'Do you want to chase after her and offer some comfort?'

'No way,' Naruto said immediately. 'I just think it's wrong to make a girl cry like that.'

'She'll get over it in two days,' scoffed Kyuubi. 'Assuming she was really crying at all. He's a block behind us, you know. She was probably putting on a show for him. Would have been a better show if she had an ass to go with those pumping legs, though...'

Naruto resisted the urge to look behind him. 'Stop talking about her legs,' he grimaced. 'You said she wasn't your type.'

'She's dirty,' Kyuubi sniffed. 'Every week she smells like someone else. She's carried twice since we moved here, murdered it both times, and still she keeps trying to make more. And she has no ass. Not my type. That doesn't mean I can't appreciate nice looking legs when I see them pumping away like that.'

'Pervert,' Naruto winced. 'That's disgusting. I don't get that, that liking a body part but not the person thing. Why do you do that? It's like the guys talking about breasts. They call Marlie a cow, but they'll drool over her breasts for hours. I don't get it.'

'You do it, too.'

'Wha-'

'You're a face person,' Kyuubi said, all smug. 'The first time you saw her, before you found out she was a dirty bitch, you thought she was pretty.'

Naruto scowled. 'She is pretty. But that's not like-'

'You think Sasuke's prettier,' Kyuubi smirked. 'Because the first thing you look at is the face. You should have seen his eyes this morning.'

'He's got a pretty face!' Naruto sputtered. 'That's a fact, like saying flowers are prettier than rocks - it's not like looking at a body part and drooling over it just because of which body part it is. You don't see me-'

He cut his rant off mid-thought, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. 'Hey...wait. What do you mean this morning? You said nothing happened this morning. Right?'

'I did say that,' Kyuubi agreed, far too pleasantly.

'So,' Naruto growled, 'what's that about his eyes? If nothing happened, then I would have seen whatever you saw. Right? Right, Kyuubi...?'

Silence. The distinct impression that Kyuubi was calmly cleaning one of his paws. Which was wrong because Kyuubi wasn't a cat and he didn't have any way of getting dirty in the first place.

'Damnit, Kyuubi!' Naruto exploded. 'What the hell did you do with my body? I swear, if you did anything like - like-'

'Like what?' prodded Kyuubi, his ears twitching as he waited eagerly for Naruto's very active imagination to provide images to go with those suspicions. Anything Naruto thought he might have done was bound to be something he'd love to have done.

'Like biting,' Naruto glowered. 'I'm not the pervert here, remember?'

'Spoil sport.'

'Yeah, well, you can make up your own perverted images if you wanna see them so badly. Now tell me. Did you bite him?'

'I didn't even touch him,' Kyuubi sniffed. 'Do you really think he would have been so quiet and bored looking at breakfast if I'd bitten him?'

'Probably not,' Naruto sighed in relief. 'Okay. So what was that about eyes, then?'

'His talent,' said Kyuubi. 'Very pretty eyes. You'll see them yourself eventually. He thinks you've already seen them.' And Kyuubi's tone dropped, turning dark and sullen. 'He was looking right at me...and all he saw was you.'

'Poor Kyuubi,' Naruto teased with a wide satisfied smile. 'And here you were sure he'd be able to see right through me to you. I tried to tell you no one could see you, but did you listen? Oh, no, not Kyuubi. Poor little fox. Here you're all eager to bite the guy and he doesn't even know you exist. That's sad...'

'Keep it up,' Kyuubi bristled. 'You'll wish you hadn't.'

'Yeah?' Naruto scoffed, laughing to himself. 'What will you do? Talk me to death?'

'Something else I failed to mention about this morning,' Kyuubi commented, in a deceptively pleasant tone. 'I had full control of this body. After rolling you off the bed so often it was easy. I could have done anything I wanted and you wouldn't have woken up until I let you. There's nothing to stop me from doing it again the next time you sleep. Every time you sleep. And you need so much more sleep than I do...'

Naruto stopped walking. His expression was stricken and the cool silence coming from his fox made him nervous. 'Hey, Kyuubi. That's not funny, you know. I was just playing with you. I didn't think it would actually bother you.'

'I don't like being invisible, not having a body, not being able to do anything without your cooperation,' Kyuubi said back. 'When you rub my nose in it, it does bother me.'

'Yeah,' Naruto said quietly. 'Yeah, it would. Of course it would. I wasn't thinking about it like that. I just went right for your sore spot and started jabbing away at it. Sorry...'

'Idiot,' Kyuubi muttered. 'It's not the first time and it won't be the last. Stop that scared guilt thing. I'm not going to do anything with your body while you sleep.'

'I'm still sorry.'

'Hm,' Kyuubi sighed. 'Then maybe I should mention that if he hadn't stopped using his talent, I had every intention of jumping and biting him before waking you up and letting you take the blame...'

"What!" Naruto blurted, out loud, without thinking about the fact that he was standing alone on the sidewalk. 'You ass! I knew it! You better not have said anything weird...or looked at him funny, or, or anything freaky because he's gonna think it was me and that's not right.'

'He'll find out eventually,' Kyuubi pointed out. 'Once enough kids come here Iruka will have to make a disclosure rule to be safe. There's no point trying to keep it a secret. We're not that different from other mutants.'

'Sure,' Naruto sniffed. 'Like last time someone asked? Oh, you're a mutant, how neat! Do you control elements or make things float or read minds or something? And I'm like, I have a fox in my head who talks to me and lets me do things. Yeah. I've had enough of the crazy looks, thanks, and don't even get me started on the - oh, where did you grow up? I lived in mental hospitals for as long as I remember. And it's like, oh, really, that's, ah, nice and, yeah, I have to, um, I have go now... Right. Like I'd bring that on myself when I can just keep my mouth shut.'

Kyuubi made a frustrated huffing sound. 'They were idiot humans. Mutants aren't even the same species as far as I'm concerned.'

Naruto raised an eyebrow. 'That doesn't make it better, Kyuubi.'

'But it's true,' Kyuubi growled. 'I'd never have put up with you if you were one of them.'

'Careful,' Naruto reminded him. 'You start lumping all normal people together and you'll end up sounding just like pinched-face when he goes lumping all mutants together with the troublemakers. Don't wanna be a - a...you know.'

'Hypocrite...'

'Yeah.' Naruto nodded.

'You know,' Kyuubi drawled, glowering, 'if you try saying it yourself you're more likely to remember the word next time.'

'Can't do that,' Naruto shrugged. 'It sounds weird when I use words like that. That's one of Iruka-sensei's words. Sounds normal when he says it 'cause that's how he is, but me, I just sound like I'm repeating something I heard.'

'...you are repeating something you heard. That's the point of learning a language.'

'You know what I mean,' Naruto said pointedly. 'I get in enough trouble repeating words I hear from you. Castrate? I told you I couldn't say anything about ripping cocks off and you give me castrate as an alternative? Without mentioning that, by the way, it means the same damn thing! Yeah. Don't think I forgot about that.'

Kyuubi just grinned in response. 'Next time ask what a word means before you yell it at someone.'

'And see?' Naruto glowered. 'This is why I don't want you doing stuff when I'm half asleep. You get me in trouble and then I have to deal with it while you go off and nap in some corner. I still can't believe he didn't ground me. Or you. Definitely you. Like bad fox, no talking for a day. Or something.'

'I just provide the ideas,' Kyuubi smirked. 'You're the one in control of the mouth.'

Lunch was waiting when Naruto got home. Just lunch. And a handwritten note from Iruka that made him distinctly nervous. Naruto stared at the note without making out a single word. He didn't even look at the sandwiches.

'This is bad,' Naruto whispered to his fox. 'I knew it was bad when he made me study, but he didn't say anything about me falling asleep so I thought he wasn't that mad. But this...now he's leaving notes for me? He doesn't even wanna talk to me?'

'Just read it,' Kyuubi sighed. Naruto's melodramatic side was fun to play with when he was being paranoid. Right now he was just being ridiculous.

'Read it for me,' Naruto whined, shooting a wary look around the empty kitchen.

'Idiot,' Kyuubi groaned. He did it anyway, if only to get this over with. 'It says, "Kakashi-san and I have things to talk about. We'll be in my office. Don't even think about disturbing us." I think he means it,' Kyuubi said sharply, before Naruto could do more than twist his face into a furious expression. 'If you run up there and start pounding on the door, he'll do more than ground you.'

'I wasn't gonna pound on the door,' Naruto glared sullenly. He wanted to, but he wasn't stupid enough to turn a disappointed Iruka into a furious Iruka. 'Is that it?'

'No. It says the kid's exploring the town and if it looks like it'll rain again before dark you should feel free to bring him an umbrella. That, and dinner's at seven. Don't be late. Or else.' Kyuubi grinned. 'I like the way his mind works...'

'What does that mean?' Naruto demanded. 'Or else what? I'll get grounded? He'll keep writing notes and never talk to me again? I'll have to apologize to the pervert? Why can't he just threaten me? I hate or else. He knows that...!'

'Which is why he uses it,' Kyuubi said back. 'Naturally.'

'And what's that umbrella thing about?' Naruto continued, getting more antsy by the second. 'He said he was gonna show them around. What - did he just dump Sasuke so he could lock himself up all alone in a room with the pervert? Is he trying to make me crazy? And they're up there now, they've been up there for who knows how long, all alone in the house, and now he expects me to go off and leave them alone some more? Maybe it's a test. Like he told me to go out and play when really he's just trying to see if I care enough to go up there and save him. He wouldn't have told me where they were if he really didn't want me to go up there, right? So-'

'Or else,' Kyuubi snickered. 'Do you want to find out what that means? Go up there and disobey him. You'll find out very quickly. And I'll go nap in a corner while you suffer.'

'Oh, come on,' Naruto groaned. 'You said you'd help me get rid of the pervert - you said so yesterday! Don't you even care what he might be doing up there? All alone in that little office. There's a couch up there! That's as bad as a bedroom...! You're the one who woke me up this morning because you were worried - don't try and act like you don't care.'

'Iruka isn't himself in the mornings,' Kyuubi said, still sounding amused, but also sounding calm and relaxed. 'If the pervert planned to take advantage of him, he would have done it then. This is a test. Iruka can take care of himself and you know it. That's the test. Leave it alone. You had a reason to act out this morning. You don't have one right now.'

'I hate it when you're reasonable,' muttered Naruto.

He slunk down in front of the covered plate and ate mechanically. The letter caught his eye again. He read it himself this time, just in case Kyuubi had left something out. Nothing. Iruka hadn't even signed it.

'I can't believe he's writing me letters now,' Naruto glowered.

'Hm,' Kyuubi sniffed. 'Eat that one, too.'

Naruto grimaced and picked the top off the sandwich to look at the mushy gray filling. 'I hate tuna. It's got that sweet sour stuff mixed with it. I hate that.'

'I like it,' Kyuubi growled back. 'I don't complain about the honey and butter crap you like. Eat it.'

'So gross,' Naruto grumbled. 'If we figure out that multiple body trick, the first thing I'm doing is sticking you in one of them and making you use it when you eat. Poisoning my poor stomach with this crap.'

'I don't think the trick works that way,' Kyuubi sighed. 'It would be nice if it did. Mm...eat another.'

'No! If you want some more, I'll open a can of it. I can't stand that mayo stuff. It tastes like it's already gone bad. Even the pickles can't hide it.'

Kyuubi perked up at that. 'Two cans.'

'One,' Naruto sighed. 'And I'll try not to throw up the next time you have a dream about eating rabbits.'

'Deal.'

.-.
TBC