Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Embracing Dreams ❯ Chapter 16

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Warnings: sexual references, crack

Part 16

Kakashi took a walk. He knew Sasuke's vague order translated into 'go away, if you're near me you'll say or do something stupid, because that's who you are, and I won't be held responsible for my reaction, so you'll die painfully, and I'll be in trouble for getting your blood stains on Iruka-san's kitchen floor, which would be a bad thing.' There might have been a little 'go away, you're bothering the blonde kid' in there, but Kakashi wasn't really sure.

Since he hadn't actually seen much of the town, his walk was a short direct one that ended on Caldina's doorstep. The bar slash dance club slash whatever the hell she called it was closed, but the door was propped open. He peaked in and got a quick invitation from a sober looking Hiko. Kakashi wasn't all that surprised to spot Pakkun sitting at the man's feet. The dog wouldn't have gone far, and Hiko was the only other person he knew in town. He followed them to one of the tables upstairs, where Caldina's bushy blonde bodyguard boyfriend served them hot brown drinks and then made himself scarce. Kakashi took one sip of his mug. Then he rounded on Pakkun. The dog had the decency to look abashed.

"I was asleep," Pakkun grumbled. "He had a bad dream and didn't see me when he woke up. Then he looked like he was gonna stab himself in the eyes with that knife of his and I had to say something."

"He wouldn't have done it," Kakashi waved. "He wakes up like that sometimes, it doesn't mean anything. He might be a masochist, but he's not suicidal." He sent a droll glare at the dog. "What did you say?"

Pakkun gave an embarrassed shoulder shift, "Nothing I should be repeating. Shouldn't have said it the first time, but like I said, I was asleep. I just said the first thing that came to mind and, yeah, I won't be saying that again." He turned his head to look a ruffed spot of fur on the middle of his back. "Damn fox almost got me. I wasn't counting on him, or I would have popped out of the house instead. That kid, he really has horrible taste in men..."

"Fox?" asked Kakashi. He thought about Naruto's claws and teeth, and that pointy eared energy signature. "Looked more like a cat to me."

"Yeah, well," Pakkun sniffed, "you're not a dog." He turned his head to look at Hiko. "I'm gonna pop back over to the others, got any messages?"

"Just find out how long they're going to keep Iruka," said Hiko. "And if you talk to him yourself, don't say anything about the kids that'll worry him."

"Got it," said Pakkun. He didn't bother to ask Kakashi before he poofed away.

Kakashi scowled at the spot where Pakkun had been sitting. He was suddenly very aware of the sober man across the table from him. Hiko hadn't really said anything to him since last night. Now he looked like he had a whole mess of things to say.

"What are your intentions?" Hiko asked, when Kakashi finally looked up.

"Well," Kakashi said slowly, thoughtfully. "I'll probably stay away from the house for an hour or two. I'm not really interested in the town, but I guess I could walk around for a while. After that, I'll head back and hang around the house. If I get bored, I can always poke Sasuke until he snaps. It might be fun to pick on Naruto, too. Looks like he's got a weird talent. If nothing else, I could sleep for a few days. I didn't actually plan to be here alone with a couple of kids. I'm not big on babysitting."

Hiko stared for a moment, taking in Kakashi's smile. Then he rolled his eyes. "You know I meant your intentions toward Iruka," he said. "How long are you planning to stay here?"

"No telling," Kakashi said honestly, still holding his smile. "I figured I'd hang around long enough for Sasuke to get used to the place, maybe meet a few of the kids that move in with him. It depends on how long it takes the house to fill up."

"Look," said Hiko, "let's just be straight here. If Iruka's interested in a fling, I'd say about time, and that's it. The details are none of my business. Just don't drag it out too long. The second he decides he likes having you around, you can bet you'll be sticking around until he changes his mind. And if by some chance you do manage to leave, anyway, well, between Naruto and Bunchu, I don't think you'll get very far."

Kakashi blinked in amusement. "They'll drag me back?"

"Whatever's left of you, yeah," said Hiko. "That's assuming you actually get out of the house. I'm telling flat out, if he gets attached, you won't want to go anywhere. Ever. Personally, I don't think it'll come to that. I don't think he'll go for a fling, let alone a commitment. But if he does you'll be reciprocating before you know it. If you really value your wanderlust, you'll make this a short stay."

"Sounds like you're trying to scare me off," smiled Kakashi.

"It's only fair," Hiko shrugged. "I think a fling would be good for him. He's been living for that kid way too long and now he's set himself up to have a whole bunch of them. I don't have any problem taking advantage of a guy like you hanging around. Not that you seem to need encouragement. But you should know what you're getting yourself into. Stick around too long and you'll end up worse than Naruto." He pulled a face at that. "One possessive brat's bad enough."

"I'll keep that in mind," said Kakashi.

"You do that."

.-.

Pakkun came back with a flurry of instructions for Hiko, who happily passed them along to Kakashi. While Hiko was used to dealing with Naruto, most of their interaction was in the form of spars intended to teach Naruto to vent himself without relying on Kyuubi's strength. The kid was too prone to fights, too used to drawing on Kyuubi without thinking first. So their spars taught the kid simple moves that didn't require strength so much as thought and dexterity. Naturally those fights ended with Naruto and Kyuubi both getting so frustrated they knocked him back on his ass and stormed off until Iruka drug them back to apologize. Any interaction they had outside those fights was stilted at best. Naruto resented him when he started talking like a parent, because he already had all the parent he wanted in Iruka. And Hiko was too used to being the 'unwanted big brother' to his own son to handle Naruto's little tantrums without backhanding the brat, which only led to more sparring.

Iruka was their calm go-between. Without him they were better if they stayed away from each other. Not to mention that the little lecture last night had left a bad taste in Hiko's mouth. It was one thing to explain to his own kid what his sister and ex wife saw in each other, and why a man might go from having an ex wife to having a boyfriend. It was another thing to tell Iruka's adopted son why it was best not to rush into anything between two men. Hiko knew for a fact that Iruka's 'talk' had been limited to the usual 'sex equals pregnancy equals not for children' lecture. Nothing a teenager didn't already know from anatomy class. If anything, talks like that made gay sex sound much safer and easier in comparison because there was no pregnancy danger, no bloody mishaps if the sex was attempted at the wrong time of the month, and no shotgun weddings since gay marriages were only legal in a few remote parts of the world. Sure, kids talked more these days, but he'd never forget the misinformation he'd had at that age. He'd been an adult before he'd ever considered gay sex, and he'd still managed to come away from his first 'full encounter' with a limp that lasted for three days. Even dangerous mutant brats didn't deserve that.

So he'd sat Naruto down and given him all the warnings he'd wished he had before he started experimenting himself. He knew the kids hadn't gone very far considering neither of the boys had been wincing or squirming uncomfortably when they first came into the kitchen. But knowing Kyuubi, who was hardcore personified, that wouldn't last very long. Naruto was way too eager and impetuous to be expected to keep a tight leash on his inner perv once the experimenting did start. In retrospect, Hiko was sure he'd been a little more explicit than necessary. Now he was half afraid of being alone with Naruto, for fear the kid would call him on some of the things he'd said. Like the offer to give him condoms so he wouldn't make something messy a thousand times worse. Or showing him where the enemas were kept so his partner wouldn't suffer debilitating problems the day after, since Kyuubi had said flat out he'd never bottom. It was one thing to warn and instruct the brat before hand, and another to be party to it. Iruka would kill him just for telling Naruto how gay sex was done. He didn't want to think what Iruka would do if he found out he'd given the kid implements to make the sex easier.

Thus he passed Iruka's lists along to Kakashi, pointed him in the direction of the mall, and made himself scarce. They could handle shopping without his supervision, and he could avoid being anywhere near a pharmacy with Naruto present and Iruka absent. Better safe than sorry.

Kakashi didn't know why Hiko was so quick to run away after passing along Iruka's message. He was too distracted to care. Pakkun came back with the news that Iruka would be gone for at least a week, and that he'd be flying back. That meant days upon days alone with the brats. And despite his absence, Iruka was determined the kids would be taken care of the same as if he'd been there himself. Hence the lists. Kakashi tried to look on the bright side. He still had Sasuke to keep him amused. Somehow that didn't cheer him up the way it usually did. He couldn't exactly forget that he'd just walked into a strange mall in order to go shopping for two brats, and the man he was doing it for hadn't even promised to repay him with a gratuitous round of sex. That just wasn't fair.

"What are we getting?" asked Naruto. He couldn't help but notice that he was the only one excited. Sasuke was walking with his head down, hands in his pockets, looking more awake than he'd been an hour ago, but still looking as if he'd rather be sitting in a corner somewhere staring at nothing. Kakashi was walking just behind them with a sullen pout.

Naruto glowered at Kakashi. The guy was still wearing that mask of his, attracting strange looks from everyone they passed. The least he could do was not make it even worse by scuffling along. Naruto stuck a hand out, making Kakashi blink and raise his unhappily bored gaze.

"Either tell me what we're supposed to buy, or give me the list and go back to the house," said Naruto. "It's not like you know your way around here, anyway."

"No, no," Kakashi sighed. "Iruka left me in charge, so I'll handle the shopping." He looked sadly at the first list. Groceries. And here he'd been making a joke when he'd asked if Iruka planned to have him go grocery shopping. Was that irony? No, it wasn't ironic, just unfair.

"Food," said Kakashi, before flipping to the next list, "clothes," and his expression brightened just a hair at the thought of Sasuke's expression when they got to that part, "vitamins." The last list took that vague smile and turned it into a legitimate smirk of amusement. He poked Sasuke, "He'll have you healthy in no time."

Sasuke sidestepped the poking finger. He was very aware of the stares they were getting. Most of them were because of Kakashi's mask. If he mutilated the man, those stares would switch to him. He sufficed with a glare.

"Clothes first," said Naruto. He flashed a grin at Sasuke, ignoring the bland stare he got in return. "It's better to get stuff like that without Iruka-sensei watching. Even if he doesn't like what you pick out, he won't make you take it back. If he were here, he'd have you trying on all sorts of preppy stuff. He's like a girl when it comes to clothes, I swear. He doesn't even take me with him, anymore, since we never agree on anything. He doesn't like orange," he explained.

"Who does," Sasuke muttered.

Naruto glowered and scoffed, "Like your taste is any better. I bet you want all black."

"I don't want anything," glared Sasuke.

"Now, now," said Kakashi, his good mood fully restored. "This is about what Iruka wants. And we're going to make him happy, aren't we, Sasuke?" He beamed, impervious to Sasuke's sullen resentful look. "Lead the way," he said to Naruto. "We'll have our angsty boy dressed up just like a normal person in no time at all!"

.-.

A few hours later they had a nice wardrobe in dark shades to keep the otherwise fuming Sasuke from making any outright protests. Whether or not he'd actually wear any of the items was anyone's guess. Kakashi suspected he would, if only around the house when Iruka was present. Otherwise the brat wouldn't have made a fuss about only getting things in dark nondescript colors. Silly nightowl. And when Naruto snuck some red items in Sasuke's size into the shopping cart, Kakashi benevolently looked the other way. They were more the color of the sharingan than orange, so it wasn't as if he were helping the enemy. Besides, Naruto would still have to get Sasuke to actually wear them. That would be fun to watch.

The grocery shopping turned out to be the real fun. Iruka's list consisted of four words - Microwavable Items and Fresh Produce. There was also a scrawled message for Sasuke at the bottom, 'Anything you feel capable of cooking is fine. Naruto is not allowed to use the stove or oven.' He'd made no mention of Kakashi cooking anything.

Kakashi pouted when he saw that. So he'd overdiced the lettuce when Iruka asked him to help with the salad. That wasn't a big deal, right? He was used to the little bags of ready-made salad, is all - they always had hair thin strips of green stuff. And maybe adding ketchup to ranch dressing was an acquired taste, but he'd only done it to his own bowl. Iruka should have at least waited to sample his signature stew before making assumptions.

Sasuke grimaced when Kakashi snuck the first can of stewed tomatoes into the shopping cart. He pulled the cart closer to himself and glared the man back. "You are not cooking," he said sharply.

"I'm the adult here," Kakashi reminded him, as he added a few cans of corn and green beans. "I'll buy whatever I like."

"With your own money," Sasuke glared.

"Naturally," said Kakashi. He pulled the cart over to the vegetable aisle so he could dump his cans easier. Sasuke remained standing rigidly a few feet away. "They have an oriental aisle here," he said over his shoulder. "What do you think about adding bean sprouts and water chestnuts to the mix? I saw some hash over there that'd be great with a little instant potatoes stirred in. Give it some texture..."

"I'm not eating that," Sasuke blurted. There was a nasty taste in the back of his mouth that refused to be swallowed away.

Kakashi blinked in surprise and sent a disapproving look, "You'd waste food?"

Sasuke stood his ground with a glare that looked weak on his otherwise pasty face, "That's not food."

"Of course it is," Kakashi beamed, "and Sasuke never wastes food." He turned back to his rummaging with a hum, "What about some frozen vegetables, like the stir fry stuff, or, oh, cauliflower, haven't tried that yet. I have to add some more ingredients since I'm cooking for three instead of two."

Sasuke's rising nausea mixed with concern. He couldn't let Naruto touch Kakashi's slop. Naruto was used to the real food Iruka cooked. His stomach wouldn't have any preparation for what Kakashi was capable of. He took two steps toward the cart, determined to put the cans back even if he had to break Kakashi's arms in the process. A darting figure cut him off.

"I love this place!" Naruto grinned. He dumped his armload of instant ramen into the cart. "They have every flavor you can think of! I like the curry best, but the creamy chicken's nice for breakfast if you wake up with a scratchy throat. Then there's the mushroom, which I swear, they never have enough of, cause it's popular, you know. The chili flavor isn't too bad, if you don't mind spicy. Of course, I got plenty of the chicken and beef - I didn't know if you guys were oldschool or not. Either way, it'll take me a few days to eat this myself and we can always get more if we run out."

"That's the Microwavable Items?" Sasuke asked slowly, staring at the pile of nearly identical packages. "Ramen?"

"Sure," Naruto blinked. "What did you think he meant?" He glanced at the canned goods already half filling the cart and flashed a curious look at Kakashi. "Hey, what are you getting?"

"Vegetables and meat," Kakashi beamed. "It's for my signature stew."

"Last time it was soup," Sasuke muttered, still staring at the ramen. Was that all Naruto planned to get? Noodles?

"Soup-stew," nodded Kakashi. He prodded Naruto closer to the aisle of canned goods. "How do you feel about salmon?"

"Oh," Naruto blinked, thinking of Kyuubi's tuna fetish, "That's fish, right? I like fish as long as it's not covered in mayo."

Kakashi nodded happily, "You get a lot more for your money if you buy salmon by the can instead of tuna, and the taste is practically the same. Chicken and beef gets old after a while, am I right?"

"At least with ramen," said Naruto. "That's why I love the variety they have here."

If possible, Kakashi's smile widened. "Can't go wrong with variety."

Sasuke shivered.

.-.

It was only a matter of time before Sasuke snapped. He'd had a long night, a bad morning, and an even longer day. There was the clothes, which he had to suffer through if he wanted to avoid causing trouble that would make Iruka 'talk' to him. And the groceries, a promise of going hungry or being sick for the following week. Really, he thought he'd been holding back remarkably well. And then came the pharmacy.

"I still say the one a day vitamins should be fine," Naruto was grumbling. "They're supposed to have the same stuff, and you don't have to take as many pills. Those calcium ones are like horsepills. I have to chew something like an old person just to swallow them."

"Ah," Kakashi nodded, as if he knew anything about vitamins. "But these are for Sasuke. He needs to get used to swallowing things if he's going to be out messing around in the middle of the night."

Naruto choked and blurted, "Nothing happened!"

"Not this time," Kakashi said, in an overly morose tone of voice. "If I believe you, which I don't. I blame myself. I've been remiss in teaching him the ways of the world. Well, no more. Here, Sasuke, do you fancy the lubricated condoms or the ribbed for his pleasure? I prefer these, myself, because-" Kakashi turned from the display tray of Trojans just in time to hear the little bell over the door ring. A red-faced Naruto was looking over his shoulder at the empty aisle. Kakashi sighed and patted Naruto on the shoulder. "And this is why I said two days was rushing it. Since you stuck around, I take it you're not as shy, eh? In that case, let me give you some tips. First, you always-"

Naruto jumped. "No! Stop! Nothing happened - nothing! I already got The Talk twice, I don't need it from a pervert on top of it!"

"Don't be silly," Kakashi frowned. "You can never get enough advice. And if you're planning to do my kid, you're going to do it right or not at all. Sloppy efforts are like sloppy seconds, you might think it's fun at the time, but the mess takes forever to clean up. Playboy motto - always be prepared."

"Boy scout motto..." Naruto mumbled, frozen too much to follow Sasuke's example and make a quick escape.

"Biggest gay playboys around," said Kakashi. He turned back to the tray, "Now, let's see. Maybe a few of each. You can never have too many..."

.-.

Sasuke froze just inside the livingroom, his attention locked on the familiar pudgy gray dog that was taking up half the love seat. Pakkun froze as well, ready to poof away if the kid made a move toward him.

"Um," Pakkun said slowly, "hey, there. Sorry about earlier, you know. I'm, uh..."

Sasuke turned on his heel and left the room. Pakkun sagged in relief. Then he winced. He could hear every step Sasuke took up the stairs to his room. The kid never made that much noise unless he was really angry, and trying not to act on that anger. A moment later he heard the steps come back down the stairs. One look at the bag Sasuke was carrying, and Pakkun forgot all about self preservation. He darted after him.

"Hey," Pakkun blurted. "You running away?"

"I'll be back," Sasuke said, in an absolutely blank voice.

Pakkun edged a little closer. "When? Where are you going?"

"I'm going to look around the fields," said Sasuke. "I'll be back in a few days." He opened the back door.

"Days?" yiped Pakkun.

"Maybe a week," Sasuke said, shutting the door in the nosey dog's face.

.-.
TBC