Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Embracing Dreams ❯ Chapter 25

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Warnings: shounen ai, KakaIru, humor, NaruSasu, violence

Part 25

Iruka was brainstorming. Some people made lists, planned things in ledgers, and carefully organized their thoughts. He let his mind ramble and wander where it liked, confident it would cover everything in such detail that by the time he focused it on the present, he'd know all the things he needed to do immediately and dozens of things he wanted to do at some point in the near future. There had been a time when he couldn't remember what had happened from one day to the next. Now he loved his ability to plan everything in his head, knowing it would still be there tomorrow, and the day after, and next week. He hadn't written his plans in list format over three years. If he had his way, he never would again.

He lounged on the couch in his quiet office, the tiny three-cup coffee pot growling away in the corner, and let his mind wander. There were so many things that needed to be done. Should have been done already. Would have been done if he hadn't been called away so suddenly. He needed a lock for his office door. Someone had been in here while he was away and tracked dirt all over the floor and the couch. Naruto, from the looks of the shoe prints, though he couldn't imagine how he could have gotten that filthy. Or how he could have had the nerve to come into his office when he was that filthy. He needed a better caller ID for his office phone. Someone had called from an out-of-the-country number. That at least explained what business Naruto had coming into his office. As a rule, Naruto didn't go into his office and he didn't go into Naruto's bedroom. He needed to ask him about that phone call.

There were a few calls he needed to make himself, now that he was home. One to the hospital, because it was beyond foolish to rely entirely on healing talents when serious injuries were involved. He knew at least one person in administration. He seriously doubted they'd give him the trouble Kakashi was worried about. This town had been accepting political refugees for decades. Half the long-term 'tourists' were hiding from some country or another. As long as they didn't cause trouble, no one minded them. That was the entire reason he'd decided to settle here. No one cared about history. The only ones who asked questions were the long-term residential gossips and they were just as happy with lies as with the truth. So long as they had something new to talk about, they were satisfied.

He really needed to call Kurenai. There hadn't been time to warn her that he would be away. This was extremely bad timing. He'd been corresponding with the man for months, and now, just when he'd been prepared to make a decision, Iruka hadn't been available to hear it. There were no other calls registered on his office line, so he assumed the decision had been given directly to Kurenai. However it had turned out, she'd have come right over to tell him. Hopefully Naruto had taken a message. She was working nights now that school was out and he didn't have the heart to wake her up at five in the morning. She couldn't have been home for more than an hour. She was either sleeping now, or visiting with Hinata before crashing for the day.

He had to take the girls shopping as soon as possible. It had hurt to see them come into the kitchen wearing Naruto's clothing. Sakura didn't seem to mind, but Ino had been downright wilted. She had image issues and those shapeless clothes would damage her ego very quickly. He wondered if he could send them with Kurenai this weekend, or even Caldina. He had his own image issues that made it difficult for him to imagine spending a day in the women's clothing department. He'd be ambushed the second he walked in. Half the single women in the town seemed to live in that part of the mall. He did his best to avoid such places. No matter how firmly he explained that he wasn't interested in getting a 'mother for his adorable little blonde boy' some persisted in bothering him. As if he couldn't tell from their eyes that they'd just as soon see Naruto shipped off to an institution. As if Naruto would ever accept a strange woman coming into the house as if she owned the place. Best to avoid all of that.

He had to do something about Kakashi. He liked his office and he'd picked the couch out specifically because it would be a comfortable brooding spot. He'd never intended to hide in here first thing after waking up for fear that a tenacious man would be waiting for him in the kitchen if he went downstairs. He shouldn't have let him wash his hair. He'd had no idea there could be anything romantic or even pleasant about having his filthy head scrubbed in the kitchen sink. Maybe it was the soothing familiar scent of his shampoo. Maybe it was because he'd been so tired and happy to be clean. Maybe it was Kakashi. He had to do something about that. He didn't want to.

He didn't want to talk to Sasuke, either. He had to. It wasn't the problem of Sasuke having some sort of sexual-experimental relationship with Naruto. That was normal. He didn't like it, wasn't comfortable with it, but he accepted it. He'd gone through that phase himself, though he didn't remember it firsthand. Tenka had told him more than enough horror stories. If even half of them were true, then nothing the boys did would compare. He had no business lecturing them. He'd try not to. What he had to talk to Sasuke about was the sparring, talents, what he suspected was a self-destructive nature. Or, if not destructive, at least careless and dismissive. That was fine when it only involved Sasuke. Well, no, it wasn't fine, but it was Sasuke's business and Iruka doubted he'd get a say in that. When it involved Naruto and other children in his care that made it his business. He did have a say in that. Supervision. Ground rules. There was no other way. He was dreading the talk he needed to have. Sasuke would close off. He might jeopardize whatever progress Naruto had made in his absence. He didn't want to risk that.

He didn't want to talk to Sasuke alone. He'd learn more from observing him at this stage than he would from cornering him. Maybe he could get the message across without addressing it just to him. The rules did apply to all the children living in his house. He doubted the girls would be experimenting with their talents, let alone getting into fights that would cause serious injury to one another. It still wouldn't hurt them to hear and know the rules. He could set them down in a group and make it a sort of belated introduction to the house. That would work best if he took Naruto aside first for a private talk. He was worried about Kakashi having 'met' Kyuubi so quickly. At the same time, he thought it best if Naruto were honest with all the kids about his other personality. It would prevent misunderstandings later. So he'd talk to Naruto first, then he'd address them all. This afternoon, if possible.

He'd have Naruto show the others around afterward. That would give them a chance to interact and give him a chance to buy supplies. He hadn't expected the house to fill this quickly. He wasn't prepared for it. He felt guilty for having brought Kiba and the girls over only to have them wearing second-hand clothing and eating leftovers a day shy of the expiration date.

He had to remind himself not to let Naruto and Kakashi go grocery shopping again. He'd expected Naruto to buy instant ramen. That was a given. He hadn't expected to open the cabinet and find it filled with a few month's supply of the stuff. He refused to even ask what Kakashi intended to do with the hoard of canned goods he'd found in the second cabinet. He didn't want to know. Hopefully Ino or Sasuke had done the cooking yesterday. Ino had assured him, boastfully, that she was a wonderful cook. He was inclined to believe her. Even if she'd lied, it was bound to be better than having Naruto make them instant ramen. He refused to consider that Kakashi might have cooked. He was being optimistic this morning.

He needed to get a lock for his bedroom door. He'd set his alarm clock for ten, intending to grab a few hours of sleep and be up in time to make the kids a proper meal. Someone had come into his room and unplugged his alarm clock. If not for the wristwatch he wore to work, he wouldn't have known what time it was when he finally woke up. He'd slept through an entire day. He didn't understand how he could have done that with so many children in the house. The noise should have woken him the moment they got up. He didn't understand why Naruto hadn't come up to wake him. He didn't understand how anyone had the never to mess with his alarm clock. He was responsible for a house full of children and he'd left them unattended for an entire day. If the house hadn't been absolutely silent when he'd woken up, he would be panicking and half out of his mind by now. He really had to do something about Kakashi.

He liked him. Sometimes. Kakashi was amusing to be around. He admired what he'd done for Sasuke. Mostly. His hands-off method of parenting was countered by his genuine concern for the boy's welfare. Iruka found Kakashi's denial on that subject endearing. He was attracted to him. Unwittingly. He'd always had a weakness for overly-confident and amusing men who thought they were more suave than they were. He enjoyed the banter. He appreciated anything Kakashi thought he could do to help Naruto with his talents. He really did.

Despite all that, he wasn't a hormone-driven teenager willing to toss reason and responsibility to the side for a fling after working so hard to get where he was. The kids would know. Naruto and Kiba might know immediately, from smell alone. Naruto would be upset. That was an understatement. He didn't know how the others would react, just that they would, and it wouldn't be anything good. Hiko would be an absolute pain if he thought he'd 'gotten his way', and Tenka would be all over Kakashi the second he came home. Actually, Tenka would probably do that regardless.

He'd already rejected him once. Or was it twice, now? Either way, he'd already turned him down. It wouldn't take much to make a firmer, more final rejection. If Kakashi didn't like it, he'd just leave a little sooner. He'd only promised to stay for a week or two, anyway, to see Sasuke settled in. Kakashi had been casual about the entire thing, so it wasn't as if he'd be hurt. He'd just wander off until someone else caught his eye, no hard feelings. And Iruka would go right on devoting his time to other people's children and turning down the passes of would-be 'mothers' and dirty old men. Naturally. That was why he felt so tempted, after all. It wasn't every day that he found himself being pursued by a man he was actually interested in. He wouldn't have hesitated if he'd met him before adopting Naruto. Everything was different now.

He pushed off the couch, feeling annoyed and frustrated, impatient. This was Hiko's fault. If he hadn't shown up when he had, Iruka might have enacted some unholy violence toward Kakashi and thoroughly terrified all thoughts of flirting right out of the man's head. That would have been embarrassing for Iruka, especially considering the neighbors who'd been watching the entire scene. He would have felt guilty afterward, given the serious injuries Kakashi would have sustained had he succeeded in shoving him into the road to be run over by a few passing cars. Nevertheless, Kakashi would have been sufficiently discouraged right from the start and none of this would be an issue now.

He filled his office mug with coffee, automatically savoring the steam of freshly brewed caffeine. Then he stared at the tiny coffee pot, which was now less than half full. It was supposed to make three cups, yet it barely managed two. And he didn't have any more packets for that pot. His eyes narrowed in a sullen glare. None of this would be an issue now had Hiko minded his own business. He certainly wouldn't be hiding in his office, trying to make some gift-sized travel pot cover a morning's ration of coffee.

"That stuff'll make your teeth yellow."

"I brush often," Iruka said, just a tad prim. "You, on the other hand, could do with some fluoride-laced doggy treats."

Pakkun lifted his head from where he'd had it resting on his front paws, "You buying?"

"Maybe," Iruka sniffed. He took a slow sip of his coffee. Then he turned a far too pleasant smile on the dog that was currently lounging on his chair. "Assuming you have a very good reason for being in my office. How long have you been there, Pakkun?"

The dog shrugged the kinks out, stretching his legs, mouth open in a wide tongue-curling yawn. He snapped his jaws closed with a quiet click. "Ah, ten, twenty minutes, give or take. Might have dozed off. This is a real comfy chair."

"Why are you in my office, Pakkun?"

Funny how sharp and threatening his name came out when Iruka smiled at him like that. Pakkun reminded himself that he could make an instant getaway the second he found himself in actual danger. He settled on his haunches, all lonesome doggy eyes and tiny little paws. He considered wagging the stump of his tail and decided against it. Too much effort. "The thing is, I'm not allowed to sneak into the kid's bed for a while, kinda messed up with him a little while back and now I'm playin it safe. The boss cuddles anything within grabbing distance when he's sleeping, so I don't even go there. I tried sneaking in with the shadow kid the other night and wouldn't you know, the brat kicked me right in the face. I gave him a good chomp for it." He wrinkled his nose, "Must not have bothered him much, cause he went back to sleep and almost smothered me to death. Kinda heavy for a scrawny kid. Wouldn't know to look at him till he rolls on your head. So then I figured I'd play up the cute doggy thing with that pink girl. Did pretty good with that till her blonde friend pitched a fit. I don't know what she's got against me. She doesn't smell like it's that time of the month. Anyway, I hopped back to Vermont yesterday and, well, that didn't go over very well, either. Looks like they done relocated on me. So I came back here and, yeah, that's about it."

Iruka stared blankly as the information penetrated his mind, made absolutely no sense whatsoever, and then dissipated like the steam off his rapidly cooling mug of coffee. "Why are you in my office, Pakkun?"

"Cause the bed wasn't warm after you left." Pakkun tilted his head to eyeball the man better. Clearly this whole 'waking up in a daze' thing was affecting Iruka's ability to think. It should have been obvious that if he'd enjoyed sleeping in an empty bed he'd have just picked one of the spare bedrooms here instead of hopping all over the place trying to find a quiet sleeper who wouldn't mutilate him the second he woke up. Iruka hardly moved in his sleep at all. Didn't kick, didn't snuggle, didn't make suspicious noises, didn't even steal the covers. It didn't get much better than that.

"You were sleeping in my bed? With me in it?" Iruka took a deep breath. He was not panicking. His voice only sounded small and high pitched because he was surprised. It had nothing to do with the utter loss of any privacy he had in his own home. "I didn't see you when I woke up..."

"I noticed," Pakkun grinned. "You jumped up so fast I half expected you to brain yourself on the ceiling. I got buried in the covers, so I just poofed downstairs for a bit. I would have hopped on the couch with ya when I got back, but you looked like you needed some brooding time. That's why I was napping on your chair. Just waiting for you to wake up for real this time. That friend of yours was right, you really don't function much till you get your coffee. You still look a little out of it."

Calm deep breaths. Long and deep. Iruka drew in a very deep breath and knocked back his coffee, which was still warm enough to burn his throat. He calmly refilled the cup. Then he went to stand beside his chair with the unrepentant dog staring up at him. "Pakkun. Never go into my bedroom again. Do you understand?"

"Why not?" Pakkun frowned. "I don't take up that much room." Why did everyone have such a big problem letting him sleep at their feet? He didn't lie on their faces like a cat or anything.

"Because I don't like people coming into my bedroom without permission," Iruka explained, as patiently as he possibly could. "It's nothing personal. It's a matter of privacy. That's my room. Just like this is my office. And that is my chair. I don't like people using them however they please. It's very rude."

"It's not like that was the first time I was up there. I had to go up to unplug that clock of yours right after you passed out the other day. And it's not like I'm 'people', you know." Pakkun gave his own condescendingly patient look, "I'm a dog. That's why your fox kid said it was okay for me to go unplug it. Cause you don't like people going in there. It was me or Akamaru and, just between us, the pup's got a bad habbit of chewing on stuff. He probably would have electrocuted himself. Good intentions and all, but, yeah, not the brightest I ever met, far as dogs go."

Iruka shook his head. Pakkun stared at him, beginning to get a little worried. The man looked so out of it. Mouth open, eyes sorta glassy and red around the edges, and he just kept shaking his head like one of those motion things, back and forth, back and forth. Had a sorta hypnotic rhythm to it. Weird...

"You okay, there?" asked Pakkun. "Want me to call the boss in here? He's down in the kitchen. I told him you were hiding in here, depressed him a little, till he realized you only have like an hour's worth of coffee in here and there's a whole big pot just waiting for ya downstairs. He'll come running if I call him." He snorted, "Actually, he'd probably come running if you opened the door. Just about tackled me when I pushed the kitchen door open, thinking I was you. The guy's got serious issues..."

"Pakkun," Iruka said slowly. "I want you out of my house."

"What! What did I do?"

"I want you out," Iruka repeated. He'd stopped shaking his head. Now he was absolutely motionless, speaking in a clipped monotone voice. "I don't care where you go as long as you get out of my house. Right now."

"You're kicking me out?" Pakkun yiped. "I'm a guest!"

Iruka snapped, blurting, "No, you're not! I never invited you in the first place!"

"Yeah, well, someone invited me, otherwise that shadow kid wouldn't have been able to get here. I gotta be someone's guest."

"You're Hiko's guest," Iruka spat. "He invited you and he doesn't live here. Go molest him in his sleep. He'll probably like that."

"Ew! He's human!"

One step, a lunge, and Iruka had a fat gray pug dangling in front of his face. He held him by the wrinkled fur folds at the back of his neck and gave him a nice shake to make absolutely certain those bulbous eyes were taking in every word he said. "Pakkun. Get out of my house. Out. Get out. Now!"

He might have shaken him a little too hard. There was a poof of pale gray smoke that smelled faintly of charred dog. How Iruka recognized that scent, he'd didn't want to know. He sank into his chair and put his head down on his desk. He'd lost his temper with a dog. He'd spent the night, who knew how many hours, sleeping with a dog in his room, in his bed. Naruto had given a dog permission to come into his room and touch his alarm clock. Naruto. The same Naruto whose split personality freaked out if a dog so much as looked at them in public had teamed up with a dog against him. And Kakashi really was staking out his kitchen waiting to pounce the second he came down. It all was too much.

Breathe. He drew in a shaky breath. Things had gotten out of hand lately. He was still in control. He was. Really. He just needed to calm down and put things into perspective. He'd laugh about this later.

He lifted his head to send a furtive look at the edge of his desk. His coffee cup wasn't there. Come to think of it, he didn't remember setting it down. Slowly, warily, he turned his head to look at the floor. His last cup of caffeine. All over his office floor. And there were little gray dog hairs floating in the spilled coffee. He felt his eye tick. No, he wouldn't laugh about this. He clearly wasn't in control at all. Time to take it back.

First he healed his hands. The bandages were icky from having been slept in and left to coagulate for days. He saw the damage for the first time, burns along the top of his hands, skin seeming to float in patches over sticky red. That explained why Bunchu hadn't wanted him to remove the bandages before he was able to heal them. Had he known the achy pain was due to something so serious, he might have overreacted. Now it barely took a moment's concentration to fix. His palms were the worst. In the dream, or memory as it were, he'd cut them to bits grabbing hold of that shattered window edge. That was exactly how they looked.

He wondered what Bunchu had done to him to keep those cuts from hurting more when he flexed his hands. The man couldn't have made them stop hurting. Had he done something to his mind, interrupted the feedback from his pain receptors so that he simply wasn't 'told' how much it hurt? That was risky. He could easily have complicated the damage, thinking it wasn't very serious, since it barely hurt, not realizing what he'd done until he could see the injury itself. Even now, when he could see how he'd torn the cut on his right hand from grabbing Pakkun up like that, he couldn't feel any more than the distant ache he'd had since he'd woken up on that cot. He tried to take it as a compliment that Bunchu had trusted him to follow his instructions, to remain inactive so the injuries weren't complicated before he had a chance to heal them. He failed miserably. Bunchu shouldn't have done that. People felt pain for a reason, to warn them when they were doing something damaging, to keep them from making it any worse than it was. This was the same as drugging him to block the pain without telling him that he'd been drugged. He didn't appreciate it.

By the time he'd finished cleaning the mess on his floor, he'd gotten a very good look at the chair he'd been sitting in. More gray dog hairs all over the soft cushion. He'd have to buy a few rollers while he was getting supplies. Akamaru probably shed as well and unlike Pakkun, Akamaru was a guest in his home. He firmly pushed aside any thought of his bed. The blankets could be washed. At least he wasn't allergic to dogs. It could have been worse.

Kakashi came to attention the second he pushed open the kitchen door. He straightened in his chair, eye twinkling, a wide smile visible through his mask. He made no attempt to tackle or attack. Iruka was almost disappointed. He'd been looking forward to having a perfect excuse to lash out at him. Now he felt himself deflate. All of his determination to set things in order, remind Kakashi exactly who was in control in this house, and whose kitchen it was that he'd chosen to camp out in, all of it smoldered sullenly into silence. Kakashi wasn't alone. Pakkun had failed to mention that.

Akamaru was stretched out to the side of the door, his fluffy tail wagging into motion as he gave his own open-mouthed smile. Iruka had a sudden urge to pet him, as much because he looked sweet as to thank him for being so much better behaved than a certain pug dog. He smiled instead. He suspected Akamaru knew what he'd almost done, because he chuffed at him and his tail waved even faster. Was the dog laughing at him? Possibly. Iruka wouldn't blame him if he were. He'd have to overcome his nervousness of the puppy's size. It was getting embarrassing. Silly.

He stepped into the room and was promptly assaulted by a quietly cheerful humming and an aroma that reminded him, rather forcefully, that he'd slept through a day's worth of meals and was currently operating on a single cup of coffee for energy. He'd used that up on his hands and his newly reclaimed self control. His eyes flashed to the counter, widening, then softening in amusement. He shouldn't have worried so much about the kids. At least one of them had made herself at home.

"That smells wonderful, Ino."

"Doesn't it?" Ino tossed over her shoulder. "You need a whisk. And another spatula or two." She glanced at him, waving the silver spatula she'd been using on the two skillets. "Plastic, Iruka-san. Metal cooking utensils will scrape off the finish and you'll have rusted pots before long. It never fails. Of course, you'll have to replace your pots eventually. These have barely a year's life left in them. They won't even last that long if you keep using metal on them."

Her tone was carelessly condescending. She shook her head, sighed at the futility of trying to tell a man how to keep a kitchen, and resumed her humming. Iruka sidled to the coffee pot, snagged a cup, and retreated meekly to the table. He didn't smirk until he was confident her activity had her undivided attention once more. She hadn't lied about her cooking skills. She had failed to mention how much she enjoyed cooking. The humming was as charming as the picture she made, her long hair swishing pleasantly, not unlike Akamaru's tail. Iruka kept that observation to himself. No sense ruining her good mood. He was also pleased to note that she was not wearing Naruto's cast off clothing this morning. The outfit was awkward and dark, not fitting her coloring or personality. It was visibly new, though, and that was enough to put her confidence at ease.

"What did everyone do yesterday?" asked Iruka. Although he addressed the question to both of them, his eyes pinpointed Kakashi. "I seem to have overslept."

Kakashi contrived to look hurt. "You're not blaming me for that, are you?"

"We all decided," Ino called. "Bunchu said you needed rest and I, for one, agree with him." She pointed the spatula at him. "You'll be no good to anyone running on empty. It's common sense." A soft sniff of disgust, "Setting the alarm for three hours when you were clearly told you need complete bedrest? That's irresponsible."

Iruka's lips twitched. On second thought, perhaps having Ino overly confident wasn't such a good idea. She had a great potential to be insufferable if it lasted too long. "So you decided to have Pakkun unplug my clock?"

"That was Naruto's idea," Kakashi informed him. Happily. Like a child tattling on his rival. "He said whoever did it might need to go away for a while afterward and Akamaru doesn't have anywhere else to go. Pakkun was the natural choice, what with his convenient means of instant escape."

"Yes, I noticed that. He seems to come and go however he pleases."

"Side effect of being a dog," Kakashi said, dismissively. "He's not human enough to see things our way and too human to get along with his own kind. You can't blame him for it. Given the choice between sleeping outside like a stray and snuggling up in someone's bed like a housepet, anyone would take advantage of his talents. He never settles anywhere, he just pops up from time to time looking for a place to sleep."

Iruka sighed. Perfect. Now he felt bad for having chased him off. A poor homeless dog who was as much a mutant as the rest of them, simply seeking a warm bed for the night, and he'd kicked him out of his house. That was charitable of him.

"He does have a playful streak, though," Kakashi continued, his tone dripping with amusement. "The less welcome he is, the more likely he'll sneak into your bed. He gets a kick out of irritating people first thing in the morning."

On second thought, even pitiful homeless mutant dogs had to respect the rules. Iruka had enough trouble in the morning without having to deal with a dog sneaking into his bed.

"I see you've healed your hands," said Kakashi. "The sleep did you good. Mind if I take a peek?" He pushed the band off his eye, not waiting for permission.

Iruka let him stare for a good minute before frowning back at him. It didn't take that long to gauge his energy. Kakashi was just using this as an excuse to stare at him with that eye of his because he knew how uncomfortable it made him. He raised an eyebrow in response, "Well? Is it all right?"

"You're perfect. I could look at you all day."

"Oh, stop it," Ino grimaced. "His hair's a mess, he's still wearing the clothes he slept in, and he's got a serious case of redeye." She flashed a vaguely apologetic look at Iruka. "No offense."

"None taken," Iruka murmured, smirking into his coffee.

"Speak for yourself." Kakashi sent a smoldering scowl at the girl. "Don't you know love is blind?"

"And stupid, besides," said Ino. Her eyes rolled, coming to rest on Iruka. "He's a freak. And an adult. Why is he here?"

"He came with Sasuke."

"And you decided to keep him? What for, comic relief?"

"He is amusing," Iruka smiled. "He can be helpful when he tries. He did keep an eye on the place for me while I was gone."

"A guard dog could do that."

Akamaru chuffed in agreement.

Kakashi shifted in his chair. "I'm sitting right here, you know."

"That's another thing," Ino rounded. "Do you know what the freak did when I came in earlier? Groped me! It's bad enough having a dog in the kitchen without being attacked by a pedophile the moment I walk in."

Iruka turned a very slow stare on the man, who reacted by slouching lower in his chair.

"I thought she was Sasuke!" Kakashi scowled. "Naruto lent the girls some of the new clothes we bought. I was confused by the smell."

"So groping Sasuke wouldn't make you a pedophile, but groping Ino would?"

"I wasn't planning to grope anyone! Sasuke would have hit me or dodged. It's not my fault she just stood there." Kakashi's eye narrowed suspiciously, his gaze flicking from Iruka to Ino. "I think she liked it. She was looking at me funny all day yesterday. I'm so glad you're here to protect me. I was half afraid she'd molest me before you came down."

"Kakashi-san!" Iruka's mouth twisted faintly. He was not amused. He wasn't. Well, okay, he was, but only because Ino took the accusation in stride. It made him wonder what the two of them had in common to have fallen into a teasing ritual so quickly.

"Oh, please," Ino scoffed. "You're so not my type. I don't go in for freak mutant pedophiles."

"You don't deny you were staring at me, though," said Kakashi.

"Of course not. You're wearing a mask. I don't care how deformed you are, only a freak would wear a mask. You might as well wear a sign declaring yourself a mutant."

"I'm happy to be a mutant."

"Which makes you even more of a freak."

Kakashi sighed and sent a sad look at Iruka, "You're going to have a lot of trouble getting this one settled. She's the blackest pot in the bunch."

"Making you the kettle?" asked Iruka.

"Naturally," Kakashi all but purred, "I make the most interesting sounds when I'm all heated up."

Iruka's eyes closed in a tight wince. He'd walked right into that one.

.-.

The day started off on a mixed note for Naruto. Breakfast was nice. Ino wasn't being nearly as spiteful toward Kiba, not in front of Iruka, anyway, and she was almost as good a cook as Sasuke. He liked the way it felt to sit there eating good food with Iruka and the new kids, all of whom had been nice to him. Unfortunately he was too sore to sit still in his chair for more than a minute at a time. He kept shifting to get more comfortable. Each time he squirmed, Kakashi sent him a sly look that made his face flame red. He just knew Iruka was going to get the wrong idea.

He'd woken up in Sasuke's room this morning, sitting backwards in his chair and staring at him. Or rather, he'd woken up to find Kyuubi sitting in Sasuke's chair. This whole taking over his body thing had to stop. For one, he didn't trust Kyuubi. For another, spending the night crouched on a chair was hell on his muscles the next morning and he was the one who had to deal with the ache while Kyuubi napped. Not to mention that if Sasuke had woken up to catch him staring, he'd be forever branded a creepy stalker. Assuming Sasuke didn't kill them. Kyuubi might take pride in stalking and being creepy. Naruto did not.

He'd already had enough trouble yesterday trying to tend to an increasingly cranky boyfriend. He was worried when Sasuke didn't come down in the morning, so he'd taken it upon himself to bring something up to him. He'd even cooked it himself. What thanks had he gotten? A growled lecture about ramen not being a breakfast food. Then when Kakashi had made a really cool stew for lunch and he'd tried to con him down to eat, he'd gotten the door slammed in his face. Finally he'd snapped and threatened to drag him downstairs so he could cook his own damn food, since he was obviously too good to eat other people's cooking. That had ended with Sasuke forcibly throwing him out of the room and barring the door. He still didn't know how Kyuubi had managed to get back in there, let alone without waking him up.

The fox apparently found Sasuke's antisocial invalid routine wildly amusing. The angrier Sasuke had gotten, the more Kyuubi liked it. Naruto tried explaining that fighting with Sasuke meant they weren't 'boyfriends', which meant no kissing, no foreplay, and definitely no sex. Kyuubi countered that the angrier Sasuke was, the more adrenaline was pumping through his body and the more toned he was for violently delicious sex. When Naruto pointed out that anything 'violent' in Sasuke's current condition would land him in the hospital, Kyuubi had dismissed it entirely, commenting smuggly that if he did land in a hospital it would be even easier since he'd be strapped to a bed and unable to resist. At that point Naruto had given up trying to reason with him. Kyuubi had issues.

Now his breakfast was marred for the second day in a row all because of his stubborn boyfriend. They'd eaten in the dining room where there was more space. Those empty chairs kept reproaching him every time he glanced up. There was a jerk upstairs who hadn't eaten anything in days. His jerk. He'd said he would take care of him because Sasuke clearly couldn't take care of himself. He was doing a really lousy job of it so far. He wondered if it would be counterproductive to physically restrain and forcefeed the asshole. He immediately told himself never to call Sasuke that again. Kyuubi knew exactly what he wanted to forcefeed 'the asshole'. Naruto ended up choking and spitting his half-chewed food all over the table. Then he had to deal with stares, complaints from an insulted Ino, concern from Sakura, that knowing look from Kakashi, and a "Damn, man, that's gross!" from Kiba, who'd gotten royally splattered. At least all Iruka did was make him clean it up and apologize.

It wasn't until Iruka excused himself to go check on the other invalid in the house that Naruto realized there was a partial solution to all his problems. Iruka was home. He'd healed his hands. He could heal other stuff. If he healed Sasuke's cut then the jerk couldn't use that injury as an excuse not to walk around. Then he wouldn't be able to hide in his room without admitting he was only doing it to avoid the new kids.

He followed Iruka and shuffled in the doorway to one of the spare rooms. He'd known there was another kid in there, he'd just...forgotten. Kiba said the guy had been sleeping for days, like he was in a coma or something. Sakura said she thought the guy was narcoleptic, whatever that meant. Ino said he was a freak with no manners. Naruto had assumed there was something wrong with him. Then he'd been distracted by the jerk and he hadn't thought much about it anymore. Now he edged into the room so he could a better look at him. All he could make out was a short tail of messy black hair and a pale face poking out of a blanket-covered lump.

"How are you feeling?" asked Iruka.

The boy let out an annoyed groan and rolled over to face the wall. Naruto winced. Couldn't the guy tell Iruka was in worry mode? Ignoring him wasn't going to work.

"Is there anything you need?"

"Sleep," the boy grumbled. He pulled the blanket higher on his shoulders.

Iruka's face fell into a sober frown, "You've been sleeping for days. Now that you're awake, you should eat something."

There was a mutter about eating taking 'too much effort,' and Naruto snorted to himself. This guy was as bad as Sasuke. Just...more sluggish about it.

"Shikamaru."

Naruto winced again. He knew that tone. Iruka was about to launch into his 'stubborn children must do what is best for them, whether they like it or not' mode. He wondered if he could adopt that approach with Sasuke. Somehow he didn't think he'd be able to pull it off without getting his face bashed in. Iruka just had a knack for it.

"It's time to get up. I'm going to check your injuries. Then you can take a bath and I'll have some soup ready when you get out. I know you're exhausted. That's all the more reason not to risk dehydration. When is the last time you ate or drank anything?"

Another groan, longer this time. Then the boy sat up and Naruto got a good look at him. If he'd thought Sasuke looked sickly the other night, this kid looked like a corpse. Pasty, hollow, like he was barely even there. He had a nice strong glower, though. He aimed it Iruka as if he had no idea who he was up against. Dumb kid. Seriously.

"What's the date?" asked Shikamaru.

"What?"

"Today's date," he muttered. "The last time I ate was..." He rubbed a hand over his face, shook his head, and he glowered some more. "On April 15th at...3:27 pm."

Naruto gaped, "You haven't eaten in a month?"

The kid sent a blank look at him. "I was on a hunger strike. Doesn't take as much effort and all they do is hook you up to an IV, anyway." He yawned for a long moment. Then he turned a watery gaze on Iruka. "If it's all the same to you, I've had enough of people poking at me. I heal slowly. That's normal. Humans do it all the time. I might take you up on that soup, though. Later. Like in a week or two. Now, all I want is sleep."

Iruka's face darkened, "I can't let you go a week without eating when you've already-"

"Right," the boy interrupted, wincing at his tone. "Whatever. Too much trouble arguing about it..."

Shikamaru slumped back on the bed, pulling the covers over his head as he went. The second his head hit the pillow, the covers fluttered and flattened.

Naruto gaped as Iruka pulled the covers off the empty bed. "How did he do that!"

"I ran him off, too," Iruka murmured, sounding upset and quiet.

"He'll come back," Naruto said quickly. "He's just being stubborn," like a certain jerk he knew, "he's going to be staying here, right? So it's not like he won't be back."

"He just wanted a place to sleep...I shouldn't have bothered him..."

Iruka sounded dejected, guilty, and much too upset for Naruto. It was enough to send him into worry mode himself.

"Iruka-sensei-"

'He's in the attic,' Kyuubi grumbled, half asleep.

Naruto repeated that faithfully, grateful that his fox wasn't always an ass. "See? He didn't go far, so it's okay."

"I see," sighed Iruka. He shook his head. When he turned, his expression was sober and thoughtful, without a hint of that panicky 'what have I done this time' face. "I'll give him a day, then try again. I don't care what talents he has, they're housed in a human body and that won't last long if he doesn't eat. Honestly..."

'Maybe he doesn't want to last long...'

Naruto did not repeat that. Iruka was settling into his stubbornly confident self again. No sense spinning him around with a 'maybe he's suicidal' from Kyuubi. Just when he'd thought the fox was being helpful for a change...

'Wait till you get to the brat,' Kyuubi purred sleepily. 'Then I'll be just as helpful as can be. You have my word.'

"Yeah, right," muttered Naruto.

"Excuse me?"

He gave a little jump, reminding himself why he'd followed Iruka in the first place. "Iruka-sensei, I need you to heal Sasuke. He's not eating, either. Nothing yesterday and only breakfast the day before. He gave me some crap about not wanting to walk around since he's got a nasty cut on his side. Really, he's just trying to avoid the new kids because he's an antisocial jerk and I yelled at him for scaring the girls when they got here. Anyway! If you heal the cut he won't be able to use that excuse anymore. I thought about sitting on him and forcefeeding him-" Kyuubi opened his perverted mouth and Naruto added a hasty, "RAMEN! But I don't wanna make things worse."

"Kakashi-san told me about his arm." Iruka paused long enough for Naruto to blanch. "What's this about a cut?"

"The pervert cut him up!" Naruto blurted, eager to reassign the blame. He was gratified by the look of shock, disbelief, and wakening anger on Iruka's face.

"He failed to mention that."

"I'll bet! It was awful, Iruka-sensei! He cut up his side and it was all bruised like he was punching it to make it bleed more or something. Sasuke said they were sparring, but it looked more like he was torturing him or something. Seriously twisted And instead of patching him up, he was hitting on him trying to get his clothes off - right in the backyard! I patched him up myself. Did a really good job, too."

"And then a few hours later you ripped it open worse than it was to begin with," Kakashi drawled from the hall. "Don't leave that part out."

"I did not!" Naruto rounded.

"Ah, that's right. That was your fox, not you. I assumed that since he's your split personalty, you would take responsibility for his actions. I see that's not the case. My mistake."

"Wha-" Naruto stared at the pervert, who was now giving him a scary narrow-eyed smile. There was a suspicious silence inside his head. His own eyes widened. 'Kyuubi!'

'I might have pushed a little too hard on the cut. I was angry.'

'You-' The fox sounded a tad sullen, but not the least bit apologetic. Naruto's stomach twisted. "So it's my fault he looked like-" four day old roadkill "-that?"

"A combined fault," Kakashi admitted. "Your fox wouldn't have attacked him if he hadn't interfered and he wouldn't have interfered if I hadn't been preparing to use chidori on you. So we're both to blame." He caught Iruka's stare and gave him a guileless smile. "I'd be more than happy to fill you in."

"I'll take you up on that," said Iruka, in a dangerously serious tone. "Later."

Kakashi murmured cheerfully, "It's a date."

Iruka left the room with Naruto quick on his heels. Kakashi watched them with a pleased smile, "That went well."

"Close the door on your way out," came a grumpy mutter.

He glanced over, recognizing the semi-comatose lump on the bed. "That's a very convenient talent you have," he told the boy. "Remind me to touch you later."

"Whatever," Shikamaru muttered, "just close the door. Preferably from the outside."

"Sure thing," smiled Kakashi. He added some thick soundproofing to the door and wall while he was at it since he was feeling so magnanimous. Then he nodded happily to himself. "That went very well."

.-.

Sasuke didn't make even a token protest. He'd guessed what was coming the moment he heard the knock on his door. Naruto pounded or came right in, Kakashi knew him too well to dare bother him when he was convalescing. He'd come down as soon as he was confident he'd be able to take a punch to the side without his guts falling out - another day by Sasuke's count. The extended sleep was doing wonders for his energy, despite Naruto's regular interruptions. Already he'd reinforced his injuries so well they hadn't hurt when he'd thrown Naruto out of his room last night. That was good, because he'd been dying to do that for the last forty-eight hours.

When he opened his door to a concerned and sober Iruka, he wasn't the least bit surprised. The man seemed to expect a protest from him. He couldn't imagine why. It wasn't as if he enjoyed being wounded and vulnerable. He had a serious injury that would cripple him if he were attacked right now. Of course he wanted it healed. Iruka looked so surprised, even suspicious, when he invited him in and cooperated without hesitation. Sasuke wondered what the man thought of him, to be so surprised by a little gratitude. This wasn't like having someone else bandage his wounds. He could do that himself. Iruka was a healer. That was something he'd never be able to do on his own.

Naruto followed Iruka into his room. Sasuke did want to protest that. He'd woken up this morning to find his chair sitting one foot from his bed instead of braced against the door, meaning whoever had moved it had come in through the window. That was simply suicidal considering how close the window was to his bed. This 'coming into his room while he slept' thing had to stop. He wouldn't always be as out of it as he had been lately. He was a very light sleeper with a tendency to kill anything that got too close to him. As confident as Naruto was in his self-healing, Sasuke wasn't interested in putting it to the test.

The healing took only a few minutes. He sliced the bandages off, let Iruka heal the cut around the thread, and then pulled it free so he could heal the rest. Naruto made one rather loud interruption when he spotted the neat stitches, his outraged "You let the pervert stick a needle in you?" immediately being silenced by a sharp look from Iruka. Sasuke envied the man's skill. His own glares tended to make Naruto talk more rather than less.

Iruka stepped back when he'd finished, his eyes dark and sober, "I was planning to wait till I could get all of the new kids together before saying this. Now I think it's better not to. Naruto," he nodded when the blonde edged closer, "this includes you. If you're going to fight, spar, do it in a way that doesn't cause lasting injury. Both of you have very dangerous talents. Experiment with them on inanimate objects, not on each other."

Sasuke found it odd that the man was looking mostly at Naruto. Of the two of them, his own talents were far more dangerous. Naruto's talents had the potential to be deadly, but only if he lost control. His own talents were designed to be deadly. Then again, he would never willingly use those particular talents on Naruto or anyone else living in Iruka's house. Maybe Iruka knew that.

"As for you," Iruka said, turning to Sasuke. "You can't heal the way Naruto can. Even seemingly insignificant injuries can add up, get infected, complicated, and turn into serious ones. If you're injured, whether it's from sparring or something else," and his stare made it very clear what 'else' he was referring to, "tell me. I understand your aversion to hospitals. I'll arrange for you to see someone who won't ask questions. You have my word. In fact, I intend to have your arm looked at before the end of the day. I don't-"

"That's not necessary," Sasuke said sharply.

"I'll fix it," Naruto interrupted just as quickly.

Sasuke's gaze snapped to him. Naruto's head was down, messy blonde bangs shielding his eyes as if he were riddled with guilt. His deeper, slightly rough tone said otherwise. He didn't need to see those eyes to recognize the voice. Oddly enough, Iruka didn't seem to catch on that it wasn't Naruto speaking.

"Kakashi-san told me he wanted to you to try healing it," Iruka said to Naruto. "You've never done anything like that. There's no guarantee that-"

"I'll do it."

Iruka frowned, looking torn and possibly concerned, "Naruto?"

The blonde lifted his head, eyes closed in a wide smile that Sasuke wasn't buying for a second. Iruka apparently bought it, because his stance relaxed fractionally.

"Trust me," Naruto grinned. "When have I ever gone back on my word?"

"Never," sighed Iruka. He went to the door, hesitated, glanced at the two of them with an uncomfortable expression, and then shook his head and left them.

Sasuke tensed the second he closed the door. He moved just in time to deflect a rather pointed lunge in his direction. He skirted the blonde, who was now crouched on his bed. "What do you think you're doing?" he glared.

"Keeping my word," the fox grinned, without so much as a hint of blue in his eyes. "Relax. I'm just going to heal your arm."

"And Naruto?"

A faint glower flitted over the blonde's face. "Holding onto four of my tails, fully prepared to rip them off if I try anything...funny...with you. He's still convinced a broken arm makes you defenseless. Naive brat."

"I don't want your healing," Sasuke said coldly. This was Kakashi's fault. Putting ideas into Naruto's head, playing with his guilt so the fox had a perfect excuse to take control. The meddling bastard never did know when to mind his own business.

"You let Iruka heal you."

"Of course. He's a skilled healer. You aren't. I won't have you experimenting on me."

The fox grinned evilly, "Really? You didn't mind me 'experimenting' on you the other night."

Sasuke's eye ticked. He still didn't know how much of that encounter had been Naruto and how much was the fox. He suspected the bite at the end was the fox. It reminded him of the kiss on the roof, turning something pleasant into something threatening the second he started reciprocating too much. Naruto's fox clearly fancied himself a predator, unwilling to allow anything that undermined his dominance. Sasuke had little patience for that sort of thing. Weak people did that, throwing their weight around, trying to prove to the world, and thus to themselves, that they weren't as weak as they feared they were. He'd fought people like that. They tended to talk big and then blubber when they found themselves outmatched. It was pathetic.

"Besides, even with your side healed, you're still in no condition to hold me off for long. I'll wear you down until you're too exhausted to fight. Then I'll heal your arm," that toothy grin again, "and then I'll do whatever I want. Don't forget, I've already 'pinned' you once. That's three you owe me. If I pin you again, I'll take my sweet time collecting."

His teeth clenched at the taunting threat. He glared, fully prepared to remind him that those 'pinning' terms were between him and Naruto. Only because neither of them had demanded anything outrageous. He'd spent the last two days incapacitated because of the fox's "pin" - as far as he concerned he didn't owe him anything. He was about to say as much when the fox grimaced and jumped a little. As if he'd just been stabbed in the ass. Had Sasuke been in a better mood, he might have snorted aloud. It appeared Naruto had made good on his threat to rip off some of those tails. He wondered if the fox healed as well inside Naruto's head as he did when he was in control of his body.

"Fine," the fox muttered, in a resentful sulking tone. He glared at Sasuke. "We'll call it even on account of what I did to your side since you weren't using talents and it wasn't an official match. This time. The next time we fight, it will be a real fight, and when I win-" He cut himself off with a vicious growl. His head jerked to the side, as if there were someone standing right behind him. When he turned around again, his eyes were more blue than red.

Sasuke made a mistake then. He correctly took the blue to mean Naruto was as much in control as the fox now. Unfortunately he forgot that, like the fox, Naruto was determined to heal his arm. He relaxed just enough to let the blonde get within grabbing distance. It wasn't until Naruto moved, and they hit the floor, that he recognized the cheap trick for exactly what it was. Distract him with the insane fox so the even more insane blonde could get the jump on him.

He kicked him off and rolled so he had the upper hand, activating the sharingan at the same time. Naruto had latched onto his broken arm, hands squeezing tight enough to rebreak it a few dozen times, those tipped claws cutting through his sleeve and pricking his skin. Sasuke gritted his teeth and did his best to strangle the moron with his left hand. "You idiot! Are you trying to heal it or shatter it!"

"Both!" Naruto choked out. His face was turning an interesting purplish red.

Sasuke added a sharp knee to the stomach, more intent on making the blonde hurt as much as his arm was hurting than in trying to break his hold. He was already reinforcing his arm as much as he could, enough so those claws were breaking instead of sinking deeper into his skin. There was no way he'd get those hands off without losing the arm in the process. Unless he took Naruto's arms off first. He considered that. It wouldn't be hard. Naruto did have a stunning lack of defense. He let go of Naruto's neck, held his hand out flat, sent the rest of his energy into it, and then hit him in the elbow. The blow was more of a stab than a punch. Naruto let out a sharp whine of pain. Good. His arm was hurting enough to make him dizzy and that with the sharingan numbing his nerves as much as possible. The absolute moron! Healing wasn't supposed to hurt more than the injury itself.

"Stop it!" Sasuke hissed. He didn't want to take Naruto's arms off. For one thing, Iruka had just told them not to cause each other serious injury. For another, he'd never get the blood stains out of the floor. "You're making it worse!"

Naruto's energy flared a boiling red, "I'm trying not to! If you'd just be still-"

A punch to the face shut him up nicely. For all of six second.

"Damn it, Sasuke! Will you just-"

"No!" Sasuke yelled. He'd been trying to keep quiet so Iruka wouldn't come back. Now he didn't care anymore. The higher Naruto's energy flared, the more his arm hurt. In fact, it was burning now.

He sent a wild look at it and felt himself panic. The cloth on his arm was smoldering. His own energy seemed to be evaporating as it came into contact with that fiery red. The sharingan faltered for a split second and all of the pain went straight to his head. Then it was gone, turned off entirely, along with the panic and any consideration for who was doing this to him. His survival instinct took over, as cool and merciless as ever. It only took on hit. Those eyes flashed blue, painfully wide with shock. The grip on his arm disappeared. Then those eyes turned red, as deadly as his own. He was already moving back when Naruto lashed out at him. He dodged, automatically shielding so the claws didn't penetrate his ribs. He rolled, came to his feet with his back to the wall, already prepared for the next attack and close enough to the window to escape if it were something he couldn't counter in this enclosed space.

The attack never came. Instead, there was a mocking, breathless growl. Sasuke stared at the bloody boy, recognition slowly creeping back into his mind. Naruto. Propped on one elbow, clawed hand closed tight over the gaping hole in his stomach that was roughly the size of his own fist. His eyes dropped slowly, taking in the red that stained his left arm up to the elbow. He'd done that.

"That settles it," the fox muttered, in that pained but clearly amused voice. "He won't underestimate you again. Ever. Stupid brat has no tolerance for pain. He never did." He pulled his claw away, revealing wet pink flesh that was slowly being covered by creamy skin. "How's that arm?" he drawled, red eyes dancing at Sasuke. "Better, right? Just think, if you hadn't put up such a fuss we could have done this without you almost killing the brat."

Sasuke's gaze slipped over to his right arm. He flexed the hand. The skin felt tight, as if it had been singed or sunburned. That was all. The scratches on his chest hurt more than his arm. He lifted blank eyes. "I'm sorry."

"You should be."

"Naruto?"

"A little shaken. He's got this thing about blood, though right now he's more worried about yours than his," and the fox sneered. "Selfless little brat."

"Will you be all right?"

"Of course. A quick nap and I'll be as good as new. I've much more stamina than you."

Sasuke nodded absently. He went to the desk and pushed the texts aside with his right hand. His notebook wasn't there. He crouched, checking the floor, behind the desk, under the bed, no sign of it. Giving it up for lost, he crossed to the closet. At least his bag was where he'd left it.

"What are you doing?"

"Leaving."

The fox stared at him, snorting, and then breaking into full laughter. "Because you attacked the brat?"

"I intended to kill him."

That seemed to amuse the fox even more, "Then you're not as good as I thought you were."

There was nothing to say to that. He retrieved his knife and slipped it into his right sleeve, then turned for the window. He wasn't about to go downstairs covered in blood, most of it Naruto's. He'd wash it off with the hose outside.

"You're wasting your time," the fox scoffed. "You know we'll track you down and bring you back. Again."

"Don't."

"No choice. The brat likes you."

"Then he's stupid."

Another sharp laugh, "Tell him that."

Sasuke turned to stare at the blonde. Those eyes were red, but Naruto was still in there. "I just did."

"Fine," the fox scoffed. He shoved off the floor, not sparing a glance at the smear of blood his hand left. "Run off. He's already throwing a fit. Bad enough you tried to kill him without hurting his feelings on top of it. I didn't take you for a coward." He shrugged, waving a clawed hand, "I'll see you after I've had my nap, either way. Right now I have to change and wash up. Too much blood to make him do it."

He watched him leave the room. Then he took the window. Washing off with the hose was a nice icy distraction. He inspected the cuts on his chest. Flesh wounds with the potential of being deadly. That was reassuring. It was nice to know the fox had his own survival instincts, even if Naruto didn't. He changed with the spare clothing from his bag, wadding the damp shirt and keeping it out of habit. Then he went to sit on one of the rocks. Naruto's rocks. He stared at the trees over the top of his folded hands. The fox needed to work on his guilt tripping skills. Killing him or hurting his feelings? There was no comparison. But he did make a good point. Naruto would follow him because Naruto was stubborn and had no sense of self-preservation in that blonde head of his. He'd be wasting his time. He considered the alternatives.

He was still considering them when Kakashi poked his head out the back door and called him inside. Sasuke sighed and went in.

Kakashi's nose crinkled as he slipped past him, "You're bleeding again?"

"Don't ask," Sasuke muttered.

Kakashi didn't.

.-.
TBC