Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Everyone Else is Doing IT ❯ Ramen, the prelude to disaster ( Chapter 10 )

Everyone Else is Doing IT

(part 10)

SasuNaru

 

Naruto and Sasuke bond unconventionally over XXX Yaoi fanfiction. Neji turns out to have an interesting talent or two. Gaara is Gaara. Psychotic and unpredictable, with a penchant for black.

 

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I'm in a happy place. I'm in a happy place. Naruto chanted the words in his head, looking to neither left nor right, but straight in front of him. The world was his ramen bowl. Nothing existed but the savory steam lifting off the hot soup in waves, the fortifying taste of perfectly seasoned broth and perfectly cooked white noodles. I'm in a happy place…

 

Naruto dropped his spoon in annoyance, clutching his hands in his blonde hair like he was going to rip it out. “Will you two stop glaring at each other over my head?!”

 

Neji, to his left, made an indignant noise. Gaara, to his right, of course said nothing.

 

Naruto couldn't take it. They were sucking the JOY out of ramen. “If you can't get along - leave. Leave me, and leave me to my ramen!”

 

“No one asked him to come along,” Neji said under his breath.

 

“Hyuuga…” Gaara stood, looking down his nose at the dark haired boy, his face contorted with anger, or glee. Naruto couldn't tell which. All he knew is that sand was starting to leak subtly from the gourd on the redhead's back. Neji looked mildly concerned, but was not backing down.

 

Naruto jumped up, flinging outstretched arms between them. “Start a fight in here, and I swear to god, I'll kill you both.” He refused to let them destroy the house of ramen.

 

Gaara regarded the tanned hand in front of his chest with muted interest. His eyes still looked a little crazy, but the sand had stopped.

 

Neji appeared to be utterly composed. He sat down like nothing had happened, but Naruto could see the stress lines just under his eyes that indicated he was still pissed.

 

Naruto sighed explosively, wishing he had just gone straight home. Getting between these two was exhausting. He slurped his ramen as loudly as possible, trying to make them suffer half as much as he was.

 

---

 

Sasuke wandered around Konoha, looking for Naruto in all the most likely places. Maybe it would have been easier just to call him and ask where he was, but every time Sasuke attempted to dial the dobe's cell number, he found his whole body straining against him, and he couldn't seem to make himself do it. He'd almost say he was afraid. Afraid of what Naruto would say… Afraid that the blonde was mad at him, or wouldn't talk to him. No. It was best just to see him in person. Then he could see his face…

 

It occurred to him eventually that the blonde may have actually gone to Ichiraku's after all. Sasuke felt a surge of annoyance at the thought. Who would he have gone there with?

 

The ramen restaurant wasn't far off.

 

Sasuke ran several different opening lines through his head, many of which began with `I'm sorry.' He took a deep breath, steeling himself, and ducked under the partial curtain and into the open-air dining area.

 

He spotted a shock of blonde hair near the back. Immediately afterwards, he noticed the bright red of the sand-freak's hair, and the long, dark hair of Hyuuga to either side of him. All apologies hit the floor, and he stalked over to the table, slamming his hand down onto it. Naruto looked up with startled blue eyes.

 

“You look like you're having fun time of it,” he ground out. He wasn't sure why he was so angry all of a sudden, but he couldn't seem to control it. He'd thought Naruto might look more pensive, in lieu of recent events - not calmly having lunch with them. “Just a little quality time with your stalkers?”

 

Three pairs of eyes glared at him in concert. Pupil-less aqua and pale blue flanking a deep blue that burned brightest of all. It was a rather impressive effect.

 

Naruto stood abruptly, slamming his palms down on the table. “What the fuck is your problem, Sasuke?” Does it LOOK like I'm having fun to you, asshole?

 

“Sorry,” he sneered. “I didn't mean to interrupt.” Sasuke cringed inwardly. This was all going so wrong. He'd been counting on Naruto being alone… so they could talk. He hadn't counted on Gaara or Neji to be there too. But just seeing the other boys was making his blood boil.

 

He locked eyes with the blonde then turned on his heel, striding angrily out of the restaurant. He heard Naruto's chair scrape across the floor as he scrambled after him.

 

He stepped outside into the still bright sunlight, and waited. Naruto swatted the half curtain out of his was, glaring daggers at Sasuke, strode over to him and punched him in the stomach.

 

Sasuke wasn't entirely expecting that. He doubled over, wincing as he held a hand to his stomach. “Do-be,” he coughed. Surprisingly, he felt a lot calmer now.

 

“Explain to me how you can be a complete and total asshole, and then feel you're entitled to act jealous over me?”

 

“Jealous?” he spluttered, trying to cover up the twinge of guilt he felt. Unfortunately, anger usually took over when he wasn't sure how else to act. “Jealous over you?”

 

The hurt that had been evident in Naruto's blue eyes magnified, before being swallowed by a fresh wave of irritation. “And you call ME stupid,” he spat out.

 

“What's that supposed to mean?” Sasuke shot back, though he was pretty sure he knew.

 

“You know damn well what it means!” Naruto's fists were clenching. Resentment was flooding into him as he thought about his last overnight at the dark haired boy's house - he was left with hardly a word, expected to make his own way out. Just like getting locked out the time before, it was embarrassing as hell, and really left the impression of being unwanted. “You do stuff like this all the time, and you expect me to just keep coming back for more! Well, I'm sick of it! Maybe by the time you stop running away, I won't be around anymore!”

 

Sasuke felt a little sick. He knew Naruto was right, but it seemed like every time he turned around, he'd done something wrong. He tried to form words to make things right again, but he knew he couldn't control his tone when he felt like this. It would come out all wrong again, driving the wedge between them even deeper. He looked at the ground, his brow furrowed in what probably looked like annoyance. It wasn't his fault that his face didn't do expressions like remorse.

 

“Naruto?” Neji called out. He and Gaara had emerged from the restaurant, dislike radiating between them almost palpably, but they had eyes only for Naruto.

 

“You could've at least called after something like that,” Naruto muttered before joining them.

 

Sasuke's head snapped up. He stared at the blonde's retreating back. Did Naruto know? If he did - he seemed to be ok with it -

 

Well, that would change everything!

 

Sasuke started down the street after them. He had to know for sure.

 

“Naruto - wait -”

 

The three halted, and he received twin looks of unfriendliness, and nothing but a stiff back from the blonde.

 

Naruto turned to Neji, “You know, I think I will stay over at your place tomorrow night.” He gave Hyuuga one of those huge smiles that made his eyes close into happy little arcs, and looped his arm through the other boy's.

 

Neji looked momentarily startled, you could tell from the way his eyes opened a fraction wider than usual. “All right.” He gave a small smile back, looking pleased.

 

To his credit, Hyuuga did not lord this victory over Sasuke. But then again, he might just be following the blonde's lead in ignoring him.

 

Gaara was watching their linked arms with a look that said he was tempted to cut both of them off. His unnatural eyes flicked to Sasuke, and apparently dismissing him as an immediate threat, he quickly returned his attention to Naruto and Neji.

 

He looked positively volatile.

 

Sasuke could sympathize.

 

---

 

Naruto heaved a sigh, and tried for the 50th time to execute a rigorous combination of hand seals. Before he could, Shikamaru easily caught him in his shadow imitation technique. He felt his face form a monumental frown as his hands were forced up to his head, like a pair of wiggly antlers.

 

“Nara…” he growled in warning as Shikamaru made him dance around a bit.

 

Shikamaru paused, both his foot and Naruto's elevated in the air identically.

 

“I'm bored.” He fixed Naruto with a baleful stare. “You've been trying to get this right all morning.” He didn't bother to mention how troublesome all of this was, as that was troublesome as well. “The least you could do is let me have a little fun.” Shikamaru made Naruto make a few lewd gestures, while starting to calculate in his head the time it would take for the likenesses of the Hokage to erode of the mountain they were carved into given current, historic, and projected weather patterns. He really was bored.

 

 

Asuma, their instructor, took a long calming drag off of his cigarette and scratched his stylish and immaculately kept beard, as he watched the two train. Tsunade probably picked him for this team, as he was laid back, but not infuriatingly so like Kakashi. Same thing with Shikamaru. The two of them were both good candidates for going mostly unnoticed by the red-haired sand-nin who was keeping his distance, arms folded over his chest. Asuma's brown eyes looked considering as the wind blew lightly at his spiked up, matte-black hair.

 

“Shikamaru, trade with Gaara.”

 

Asuma could tell Shikamaru was getting beyond unmotivated, even for him; And Gaara was most likely impatient by now, though he probably wouldn't show any of the normal signs of such a state. Asuma decided not to wait to find out how he would express such a thing.

 

Tsunade likely took into consideration that Naruto would have to do the bulk of his training with Gaara, as their abilities and styles were more suited to each other. Which worked out all right, as Asuma could train one on one with Shikamaru as he often did when they were both part of team 10. All three of his charges could be trained simultaneously in this manner.

 

Shikamaru dropped his foot - Naruto's dropped as well - and dispelled his technique.

 

Naruto flopped onto the ground, and leaned up against the large slab of rock behind him. “Sensei,” he whined at Asuma as he clutched his stomach. “I'm HUNGRY.”

 

Asuma sighed. This new team arrangement could be exhausting. At least Chouji hadn't complained about hunger - he always brought extra food, and would just start stuffing his head with it. He inhaled another stream of calming, nicotine laced smoke, and let it stream out of his nose. “It's only 9 o'clock.”

 

“So?”

 

“So, lunch isn't for another 3 hours.”

 

Naruto made a horrible face.

 

“Suck it up, kid. You're a ninja, aren't you?”

 

Naruto grumbled and got to his feet.

 

Gaara was watching him impassively.

 

“Ok,” Asuma said tiredly, addressing Naruto. He'd realized early on that it was useless to issue directions of any kind to Gaara. The redhead took better to this workaround, where he was never directly told to do anything. “Keep practicing that jutsu, but trade off with sparring. Clones are fine, as you'll probably need them to try and get past Gaara's guard.”

 

Naruto nodded, still rubbing his stomach.

 

“I'll be training with Nara out of range.” He pointed east. It went without saying that this was to avoid any especially industrious sand, in case Gaara really let loose. Asuma wanted to keep the potential body count at zero.

 

Naruto's stomach rumbled loudly.

 

Asuma bit lightly on the end of his cigarette, debating. He finally reached behind him into one of his pouches, and tossed a rations stick at Naruto. The blonde's entire demeanor brightened considerably.

 

“We'll break at 12.” He nodded to Nara Shikamaru and they disappeared into the east woods.

 

---

 

One o'clock rolled around, and Asuma's team was short two members. He looked at Shikamaru. He knew the pony-tailed boy was friends with the blonde. “Uzumaki isn't the punctual type, is he?” It sounded like a statement of fact.

 

Shikamaru nodded. “Especially if ramen is involved.”

 

“Hmm.” He smoked his cigarette in silence for a few minutes, as they stood in the empty clearing, watching the grass ripple every time the wind gusted.

 

“It could be a while,” Shikamaru added.

 

Asuma sighed. He put out his stub of cigarette, and tucked it into one of his pouches to throw away later. He pulled out a new one. “Guess we'll start without them.”

 

---

 

“What I'm saying,” Kankuro stressed heavily, in his oddly cadenced voice, “is they couldn't BE any worse.” The purple markings on his face accentuated his frown.

 

He and Temari ditched the later half of their training, for similar reasons, surprising each other on the doorstep of their temporary home away from home. Currently, Kankuro was lounging on the couch, for once not fiddling with one of his puppets.

 

“What's so bad about yours?” Temari's husky voice sounded skeptical.

 

“Aside from the fact that our names all rhyme?” Ino, Shino, Kankuro. It had to be somebody's sick idea of a joke.

 

“Yeah, aside from that, since ours do too.”

 

“They SUCK.”

 

Temari nodded sagely. “I feel ya on that one.”

 

“The girl doesn't seem to know how to do anything but that spirit replacement body snatching whatzit, which is totally useless if she were fighting by herself, and the guy has BUGS.”

 

“Bugs?”

 

Kankuro looked at her conspiratorially. “I don't even wanna know where he keeps them all, but they're everywhere.”

 

Temari made a face, but felt moved to ask, “Are they useful?”

 

“I'm not sure. He mostly just seems to talk to them. Creeps me out.”

 

“At least that has potential. I got stuck with a no-name and the fat kid.” She corrected herself, “I'm sorry, `big boned.'”

 

Kankuro looked annoyed. “I'm big boned.”

 

“You, yes. This kid is just fat. And no sense of humor. He tried to crush me with some move he called a `meat tank.'” She shuddered. “And the other guy -”

 

The door beyond the living room opened and closed.

 

They stopped talking, and looked at each other. The apartment's entry was through the kitchen, so they could not see who it was.

 

“Gaara?” Temari mouthed quickly.

 

“Who else could it be?” he mouthed back just as fast.

 

She shrugged. It was still early. Gaara shouldn't be back yet. Unless he'd killed someone, or, more unlikely, had the same urge to ditch that his siblings had had.

 

Small, measured footsteps grew louder.

 

They were both holding their breath, watching the hallway.

 

Temari realized this and swatted Kankuro. “Act normal!” They did their best not to let their brother know how intimidated they were of him.

 

Kankuro picked up Karasu, his favorite puppet, and started fiddling with it. Temari grabbed up a magazine from the coffee table, and managed to look rather engrossed with an article she wasn't reading.

 

The footsteps reached the living room and paused.

 

Temari read the same sentence over and over, changing her expression minutely every moment or so. She wondered if Gaara was wondering why they were both here. If he was, he didn't bother to ask.

 

The footsteps resumed, moving down the hallway towards the bedroom.

 

Temari snuck a peek when she was sure he wouldn't see. Her brow furrowed as she noticed something odd.

 

The door at the end of the hall closed with finality.

 

Trailing Gaara had been a large amount of his sand, levitating and seemingly carrying something. It looked kind of like a person… like… Temari looked at Kankuro. He looked unsettled.

 

“Wasn't that that Naruto kid?” he asked.

 

Temari nodded.

 

They looked down the hall to where their brother had disappeared.

 

“Is this ok?” Kankuro worried. “I mean, he looked unconscious.”

 

Temari shrugged helplessly. “You wanna be the one to go ask him about it?”

 

 

---

 

 

Naruto stirred, feeling his pulse beating in his head in not an unfamiliar way. He felt like he'd been hit with a ton of bricks. Sasuke had walloped him a few times before, when he hadn't had time to guard, and this felt about the same. He cracked his eyes open, expecting to find himself flattened on the training ground's grass. Somehow, instead, he was looking at an unfamiliar ceiling.

 

He rubbed his eyes and blinked. Nope. Still there.

 

Naruto tried to sit up, and found that he couldn't. Was he really hurt? He found he could move his head a little, so he lifted it as best he could and looked around.

 

He was in a dim, beige-walled room. There was a desk and chair on the one side that looked like they had never been used, a tall nightstand-style table with a lamp, and whatever he was lying on. From his low vantage point, he guessed it was a mattress that lay directly on the floor. More importantly, in the far left corner, was Gaara. He was leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, watching him.

 

Naruto felt the hairs on the back of his neck raise.

 

Gaara's face was expressionless, blank, like usual, but there was something different about his eyes. They seemed too bright in the gloom.

 

“Where am I?” Naruto asked daringly, not liking the unease that had settled in him. Not that he could blame himself. He was in the presence of a real nut job, and he was immobile. That would throw anyone off.

 

Gaara pushed off of the wall, and approached him in that slow, deliberate way of his. He stopped at the foot of the mattress and looked down at Naruto, his hair looking like a dingy halo of blood in the half-light.

 

“Hyuuga…” Gaara's voice matched the way he moved. Dangerous. “What is he to you?”

 

Naruto, against his better judgment, said, “Why can't I move?” He cringed a little inside, wondering if he was making things worse, but he couldn't help it. When push came to shove, he pushed back. He saw a flicker of something pass across the redhead's face.

 

“Sand.”

 

“Well, get it offa me.”

 

Gaara knelt down, leaning over him. “Answer.”

 

Naruto felt the sand moving slowly against his skin. Ew! Was it under his shirt even? Who knows how many once lively people the stuff had eradicated?

 

“He's a friend, I guess.” What kind of a weird ass question was that anyway? Coming from Gaara, it seemed particularly surreal.

 

“Why?” he returned flatly.

 

Naruto kicked his head back onto the mattress in frustration. “I don't know, maybe because he doesn't hold me down while asking me cryptic questions?”

 

The corner of Gaara's mouth turned up ever so slightly. His version of a smile?

 

The sand loosened its hold, retreating almost reluctantly, sliding off of him like trailing fingertips. His face turned red. The sand had been under his shirt, and his pants as well!

 

Naruto looked up at the redhead's face, trying to catch some hint that Gaara was doing it on purpose, but he really couldn't tell.

 

Black rimmed eyes stared back at him, thoughts ghosting their aqua surfaces like mist. “We are similar.”

 

Naruto digested that as he sat up. Ultimately, he thought, no we aren't. “Similar how? I've never felt the need to kidnap people and hold them hostage.” Ever the joker, he thought at himself scathingly as a look of annoyance crossed Gaara's face.

 

“Er - sorry,” mumbled. His eye twitched as he felt the ever-ready sand still clinging to him. He got preoccupied brushing at it. It was something to focus on other than the known sociopath invading his personal space.

 

“Why don't you judge me?”

 

“... I do.” I think you are a complete whack job.

 

“No. You think things - but you don't act like they do.”

 

Good point. Most sane people tried to ignore the redhead, hoping they'd be ignored in return. But me? I feel compelled to talk.

 

Naruto shrugged. “What's a little crazy between friends?” Why was it so hard to keep himself from being flippant? He didn't really have a death wish, did he?

 

“I do not want your friendship.”

 

Ouch. That was cold. “Well, so~rry, I -” Naruto cut himself off. The fevered look had come back to those strange eyes. It raised the hair on his arms just to see it, especially when it was suddenly less than a foot away.

 

Gaara spoke as if he was unveiling some dark, hidden secret, “Your beast calls to mine -”

 

Beast? Was he referring to the Kyuubi? “Um…” Naruto floundered. Oh my god, am I being hit on?

 

“- and mine to yours. Can you not feel it?”

 

I feel your crazy-vibes…“I'm not sure I do…” If Gaara is making a pass at me… does that mean I am more safe, or less safe, than I was 5 minutes ago?

 

Naruto's musings were cut short when he felt a hand hovering over his bare stomach. “Hey - !”

 

The sand had hiked his black shirt up exposing his abdomen and more flowed forward, keeping him from moving.

 

“This is where the seal is, isn't it?” Gaara said as his hand traced the air millimeters above flesh.

 

Naruto's skin was prickling oddly and his heart was thump-thudding in his chest. He was shaking his head `no' when Gaara's hand descended, and the seal flared to life. It was the strangest sensation, but it felt as if Gaara's hand had passed into him.

 

Naruto tried not to think of what else it sort of felt like, but his mind happily supplied a plethora of unwanted x-rated things into his conscious mind. He felt his face heat as Gaara leaned into him and bit his neck. It was kind of sexy and really scary at the same time. He tried to pull away, but the damn sand was keeping him in place.

 

Several very bad scenarios played through Naruto's head as he contemplated what this might mean for him.

 

Lips at his throat, and a hand on his stomach… both sliding lower. He was in serious trouble here.

 

He couldn't imagine who the redhead had had experience with doing this sort of thing, but he definitely seemed to know what he was doing. Problem was, he had no idea what exactly `this sort of thing' entailed - in Gaara's twisted little mind would it involve being sexed up? Eaten? Eviscerated? Who knew, maybe a combination of the three?

 

“Gaara - ” Naruto decided a distraction might be useful. “What happened to my jacket?”

 

“Gone.” The word spoken against his skin made him shiver. “…wretched thing.”

 

GONE?!

 

“What do you mean gone? That's my favorite jacket!”

 

Gaara bit him extremely hard. Probably to shut him up.

 

“Ow!” Naruto struggled against the sand more determinedly. The hell if he was going to sit here, being molested against his will while his precious jacket was lying discarded somewhere -

 

Gaara had moved back, watching him with interest, a freaky smile forming on his face.

 

“What's so… funny?” Naruto huffed as he pulled at his unrelenting bonds. “Get this stuff off of me already.”

 

“Make me.”

 

Naruto's stomach jumped at the scary yet somehow bordering on seductive voice. Make him? Naruto scowled. Shit. How would he do that? The sand felt like iron manacles locking him in place, and Gaara was regarding him like prey that had fallen into his trap. “How about you just let me go, and we'll call it even?”

 

Silence fell as they locked eyes.

 

Naruto bluffed with a glare that said `Don't make me hurt you.'

 

Gaara had an air of unrushed indifference in response, as if he knew he had all the cards, and it was not a matter of if something was going to happen, but when.

 

 

The sand began to move, and Naruto's heart began to flutter like a caged bird. His eyes did not leave Gaara's as the sand pressed him down slowly, flat on his back. His palms faced the ceiling as his arms were pinned beside him. Not good, NOT GOOD.

 

“I hope you know I don't put out on the first date,” Naruto tried to joke as the redhead drifted closer. Maybe he could annoy Gaara into letting him go?

 

“I don't date,” he murmured.

 

The sand flowed up around Naruto's stomach, grabbed the edge of his black shirt, and proceeded to rip it in two under Gaara's watchful eyes.

 

Naruto started to panic in earnest as he was stripped by such unconventional means. He started to babble, “You know, you might get along with people better if you tried the friends thing first. It seems like a hassle at first, but -”

 

“Unnecessary.”

 

“You could try -”

 

“No.”

 

“Maybe - ”

 

“Silence.”

 

Naruto's chest was now bare, his poor black shirt in ribbons. But alas, until the very end it served him well. He felt ridiculously naked even though he still had his heavy orange pants on. He wondered how long he'd have those. He suddenly had the urge to laugh. Oh great, there goes the last of my sanity.

 

Naruto closed his eyes tight as a hand ghosted up his chest.

 

____________________________________

TBC