Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Excuses excuses ❯ Chapter 1

“I was on the way to market to pick up some supplies, see? I was just walking along when this little runt came running by and tried to pick my pocket. I snagged him, but then the police came around the corner and he pulled so hard that he ripped his shirt. So, the cops chased after this kid and I went on my way.

 

“So I get to the market and started picking out some travel rations. And I was looking through the coffee section, trying to decide if I should go with the freeze-dried stuff or if fresh ground would last through the mission, when that kid came crashing through the store. I considered tossing a kunai to catch him against the wall, but I'd just sharpened them and didn't want risk dulling the edges on something like that. So then as I'm waiting in line that kid comes crashing back through the store. He starts running around and around the check out counter with the cops chasing right after him. And of course nobody is getting checked out because of this. So I stick out my foot to trip the brat and would you believe it? He hops right over my leg but the cops manage to trip over my feet even though I'd tucked them back out of the way.

 

“So, there are these cop's laying on the floor right? So, everybody is trying to pick themselves up after all this, and of course there's this huge mess from a collapsed display stand or two. Now, instead of checking out all the nice people waiting in line, the check out girl goes to clean up the mess. So, when she finally gets everything put back together and rings up the people in front of me, I reach in to my pocket to find that all I've got is some coin from my last trip into Wind Country. Now, you'd think they'd just let me have it on credit, what with being a ninja and a protector of the village and all that, but no. Said I had enough credit racked up and that I'd have to actually pay money before I could put anything more on it. So, I have to leave and go all the way back to my apartment to get money.

 

“As I'm waking back, I see that that kid is still getting chased around by the cops. You'd think they'd have caught him by now wouldn't you? So, I get home, pick out enough money to pay off some of my debt, and just as I'm walking out the kid barrels by me again! Now I feel like I'm going to have to do something or the brat will be haunting me for the rest of my life.

 

“So I go after him and I catch up to him in a little under half a block. I grab him by his arm, since his clothes seem so prone to tearing, and then he has the nerve to pull a kunai on me. So I've got him by his arm and his wrist and he's struggling against me when suddenly he looks down at the book sticking me out of my pocket and he starts happing about the latest book and how much better it was than all the other ones and that how at the end, well I don't know because I automatically covered my ears. It was only a blink of an eye before I realized I'd let go of him, but he was already gone.

 

“Now I wasn't going to let the little punk go after that, so I created some Shadow Clones and spread out to search the area. Now, there is no way he could have gotten away with five of me sniffing him out. I'm kind of ashamed though that it was one of my clones and not me that finally caught up to him. But the rest of us caught up to him in no time flat after that and after that stunt with the book I wasn't going to just hand him over to the police. He needed a smack down and since I had the clones there already, I did a Naruto Combo on him. He hit the ground and I was about to drag his sorry butt to the police station but he poofed into a garbage can. He must have made the switch when some of the dust from my clones got in my eye. Now, I must have gotten him with at least one hit because he wasn't exactly in the best shape and he didn't get far anyway. This time I just popped him in the back of the neck and he dropped like a bag of ham.

 

“So I toss the irritation over my shoulder and head of down the street reading my book. It wasn't far to the police station so I was just strolling along. I was whistling this tune I've heard somewhere too, but I can't remember what it was. Anyway I finally drop the brat off the police station and headed back to the store.

 

“So, I get there, but I took so long she put everything back, so I had to go pick everything out again, and I'll be damned if I forgot what kind of coffee I picked, so I was stuck with that again. I ended up just getting beans. Best of both worlds and it was cheaper to boot. Of course you have to grind it yourself, but that's no problem really. So, I headed off down the street.

“As I was walking along I noticed my sandal was loose, so I put the bag down on this chair that was on display. Now I'm never gone buy anything from that place because the chair collapsed like a house of cards. So, I'm standing there, next to the remains of a chair with my supplies sitting in the middle of the mess. It was at that point that I decided that if I didn't get a move on I was never going to get anywhere, so I dashed home, stashed most of my supplies except for what we'd need, and then I came straight here, and that's the honest truth.”

 

Naruto and Sakura looked at their teacher for only a moment before shouting “LIAR!” in unison.

 

Kakashi sighed, they never believed him.